Thomas Doran
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My name is Tom Doran and I’m ready to exchange with someone. Please let me know via a private message, if you would like to exchange outlines with me.
Thank you!
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Lesson 11 – Creating Your Outline – Part 2
Title: Snow-blind
Genre: Survival, Contained Drama
Written by: Tom Doran
What I learned is that set-ups and pay-offs creates more realism, authenticity and depth to both the characters and the logical plot progressions.
Logline:
A hero driven doctor, en route to a mandatory hospital call-in, abandons his SUV to search for help in the midst of a generational blizzard, which results in his temporary blindness, after he learns that his passenger, a nurse, is pregnant with his child.
ACT 1:
1. EXT. – ALEX’S SUV/ KRIS’ APARTMENT – DRIVEWAY – DAY
Opening: Alex, his ER Physician’s ID lanyard partially exposed under his jacket, turns his electric SUV into Kris’ driveway.
2. INT. ALEX’S SUV – KRIS’ DRIVEWAY – DAY
Alex cranks up the heat as he waits.
He listens to SXM, classic 70’s rock.
He watches Kris exit her apartment and enter his SUV.
He switches the station to NPR (National Public Radio). (Set-Up)
She hurries to drape her R.N. (Registered Nurse) lanyard ID holder over her neck.3. EXT. – UNPLOWED ROAD – ALEX’S SUV – DRIVING – DAY
They venture out into unplowed streets.
The visibility looks relatively clear, but the snow intensifies as they drive.4. INT. – ALEX’S SUV – DRIVING – DAY
Warning advisory from radio (NPR) that the unprecedented storm is most concentrated in the city, which is the location of the hospital. (Set-up)
Inciting Incident:
Kris asks Alex to turn around and take her back home, because of the poor visibility.
Alex speed dials the ER. V.O. of ATTENDING MD (Set-up)
“We’re flooded with patients and extremely short staffed. If you don’t get here ASAP, you’ll both be disciplined or fired.”Alex tells her that they have no choice. (Pay-off)
5. EXT. – UNPLOWED ROAD – DRIVING – DAY
Even though the streets are unplowed, the SUV glides through them like a knife through butter.
6. INT. – ALEX’S SUV – DAY
Alex drives quickly and aggressively for the conditions.
He glances at his SUV clock, then presses his foot down on the accelerator.
1st Turning Point:
Alex notices that his warning light has come on, indicating a low charge. (Set-up)
NPR radio reports an unprecedented amount of stranded vehicles in the city, as well as a mounting missing persons and death count. (Set-up)
Kris urges Alex to turn around immediately.
Alex explains that there are no charging stations, except for the ones at the hospital. He tells her that even if he wanted to, he couldn’t turn around now. (Pay-off)
He lightens his foot on the accelerator, but then…
ACT 1 Turning Point
He swerves to avoid a deer in the road, (his POV through the windshield) and spins into a snowbank. (Twist)
7. INT./EXT. ALEX’S SUV -SNOWBANK – DAY
He grinds his tires by pressing his foot against the accelerator, but they’re stuck. (First plan fails.)
ACT 2
8. INT. ALEX’S SUV – SNOWBANK – DAY
Alex climbs into the back of the SUV and retrieves a flare. (Set-Up)
9. EXT. ALEX’S SUV – SNOWBANK – DAY
Alex gets out of the car, but drops the matches in the snow. He’s unable to get the flares lit. (Pay-off, 2nd plan fails.)
10. INT. ALEX’S SUV – SNOWBANK – DAY
He gets back in the vehicle and becomes frustrated when Kris informs him that neither of their cell phones can get a signal.
The warning light turns red, indicating that they only have a 5% charge. (Pay-off)
Midpoint Turning Point: Alex wants Kris to go out into the blizzard with him in order to find help or shelter.
Kris insists that they stay inside the vehicle, with that being their best chance at survival.
When Alex further pressures Kris to go with him, she reveals that she’s six weeks pregnant with his baby and doesn’t want to risk it. (Major Reveal)
Alex denies that he’s the father, but she reminds him that they were both intoxicated when it happened. He suddenly has a flashback of the event.
Alex, angry at Kris for not previously informing him of her pregnancy, attempts to open his door, but it’s partially stuck.
Alex swears that he sees a light in the distance, which he believes could be some type of business where he can get help for the both of them. (Hope)
Kris doesn’t see it and refuses to leave the vehicle. She urges him to stay.
11. EXT. SUV – SNOWBANK – DAY
He forces the door partially open and rolls out of the SUV;
He uses his feet, while on his back, to shut the driver’s side door.
ACT 2 TP/MIDPOINT: ISOLATION:
12. EXT. ROAD – WHITEOUT – ON FOOT – DAY
Alex, out of the vehicle, disappears into the blinding snow and fierce wind that nearly blows him to the ground.
Alex glances at the SUV, but can no longer see Kris in the passenger seat.
The snow and wind knocks Alex down several times, but each time he forces himself to his feet.
ACT 3:
13. EXT. ROAD – WHITEOUT – ON FOOT – DAY
Alex follows what appears to be a light in the distance.
14. INT. ALEX’S SUV – SNOWBANK – DAY
Kris listens to NPR, until the vehicle runs out of charge and shuts down.
She tries her cell phones again, but still no signal.
The fierce wind causes snow to cover the front windshield.
15. EXT. ROAD – WHITEOUT – ON FOOT – DAY
Alex slips and falls head first into the snow. He struggles to get back to his feet.
Alex follows what appears to be muted colors in the distance.
16. EXT. ALEX’S SUV – SNOWBANK – DAY
A brutal wind creates a drift around the SUV, encompassing much of it.
17. INT. ALEX’S SUV – SNOWBANK – DAY
Kris attempts to open open the driver’s side door and then the passenger side door, but neither will budge.
Kris shivers. She takes a note pad and a pen from the glove box and writes. (Set-up)
18. EXT. ROAD – WHITEOUT – ON FOOT – DAY
Alex sees what appears to be a building in the distance.
Alex labors with his breathing as he continues toward the muted colors.
19. EXT. BUILDING – DAY
Alex comes upon the building. He finds an ice covered rock and breaks a window; he enters.
20. INT. ALEX’S SUV – SNOWBANK – DAY
Kris, trapped in darkness, continues to write until her pen runs dry of ink.
21. INT. BUILDING – DAY
ACT 3 Turning Point:
Alex finds a phone, but there is no signal.
ACT 4 :
22. INT. BUILDING – DAY
Alex finds a pad and pen and writes a note.
The note gives a vivid description of where he abandoned his SUV. He writes that his girlfriend is pregnant and that his SUV has no heat/no charge left.
He also draws a detailed map, with street names and a star representing his SUV. (Set-up)
23. EXT. BUILDING – DAY
Alex climbs out of the window and ventures into the blizzard.
24. EXT. ROAD – WHITEOUT – ON FOOT – NIGHT
Alex sees other buried cars in the snow.
Alex finds a car with a body inside. He smashes the window and pulls an elderly man out.
Alex tries to find a pulse on the man’s neck.
Alex lays the dead man in the snow and continues on the road.
25. INT. BUILDING – DAY
A hand picks up the note with Alex’s drawing of the map.
Voices from a mobile communication system can be heard. (Set-up)
26. INT. ALEX’S SUV – SNOWBANK – NIGHT
Kris struggles to keep her eyes open, even though she shivers continuously.
Her teeth chatter and her skin looks pale white. (All the symptoms of hypothermia.)
Noises and commotion come from outside of the SUV.
A FIRST RESPONDER smashes the side window and drags Kris out. (Pay-off)
Kris slurs her words as she tries to speak.
A SECOND FIRST RESPONDER sees Kris’ note on the seat and picks it up. (Set-up)
27. EXT. ROAD – WHITEOUT – ON FOOT – NIGHT
Alex collapses in the snow. When he lifts his head up, his face is filled with snow and ice.
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict
Alex’s POV: he has partial blindness with shadows all around. (Fear)
Alex hears voices and attempts to lift himself up, but then collapses again in the snow.
Alex is suddenly pulled to his feet by two STRANGERS, one on each side of him. (Hope)
28. INT. HOSPITAL – ICU – NIGHT
Kris lies in a coma on an ICU bed, connected to a ventilator.
DREAM: She looks up and sees Alex at the side of her bed.
Resolution:
Alex stops into Kris’ ICU Room. He reads her letter aloud: (Pay-off)
Kris explains, in her letter, that if they both survive, she wants to marry him and raise their child together. (Hope)
A tear streams down Alex’s face. (Fear.)
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Tom’s Budget
What I learned doing this assignment is learning what elements will lower the budget costs, thereby increasing the chances of selling or optioning the screenplay. I also learned what elements to add if working with a larger budget to increase the intrigue and dramatic elements.
1. Run through this list and tell us how many ways you might be able decrease the budget for your project if that was required.
MAIN VARIABLES
Number of Locations– 3- Int./Ext. SUV ,Road; Snowbank; Int./Ext. small building.
Expensive locations – None.
Number of characters – 2 Main characters; 2 extra characters, 1 character with one line of dialogue.
Special effects – Snow/Wind Conditions. No other special effects .
Number of pages – 90.
Crowd scenes -None.
Stunts, Chase scenes, and Fight scenes -None.
Special sets -Icy/ Snowy Conditions.SECONDARY VARIABLES
Rights to music, brands, books, etc. -None
Explosions and Firearm – None
Kids — shorter work days, tutor on the set – No Kids. Animals – need a wrangler, more time to shoot, Humane Society – No Animals
Weather — Rain, snow, wind, tornados: The blizzard is central to the story, therefore must create Blizzard like Snow and Wind conditions.
Water and underwater scenes – No water scenes.
Night scenes – Do not need to have night scenes, however they could increase the drama and suspense.
Helicopters, aircraft, drone shots -None <div>Green screen work. – Yes, if it contributes to the snowy blizzard.
Extensive Make-up -None
Archival Footage – None.Anything else dangerous that increases preparation time and/or Insurance: Driving Scenes through hazardous blizzard like conditions.
2. Go through the list and tell us what you might add if your budget was quadrupled.
Add a dozen or so SUV’s buried in snow.
Add multiple night scenes to create more drama and suspense. It will increase the sense of isolation.
Add dramatic music. </div><b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Add make-up– frozen snow, ice covering Alex is face; wound in the side of Alex’s face after trying to save people trapped in hater vehicle. Add make-up to Kris – showing that she’s completely pale from the freezing cold.
Add drone shots to show how many vehicles are stranded in an endless sea of snow and ice.
Add more scenes at hospital.
Use helicopters for rescue and search.
Add dogs for rescue scenes.
Archival footage could be used in the beginning to show a history of hazardous blizzards in Buffalo.10.More dramatic Rescue of Kris.
11.Increase pages from 90 to 110.
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Tom’s Writes Great Hope/Fear!
What I learned doing this assignment is that I still need to brainstorm ideas of some form of hope and fear, especially in the Second Act. This might require some research. Nonetheless, through brainstorming, I was able to create more back and forth hope and fear, creating more emotional engagement with the audience.
ACT 1:
HOPE: There is still visibility when Alex picks up Kris from her apartment. He’s also driving a new all wheel drive vehicle.
WARNING: Radio (NPR) advises that the storm is most concentrated in the city, which is where they’re headed since that’s where the hospital is located.
HOPE: Even though the streets are unplowed, the SUV is able to glide through them like a knife through butter.
WARNING: Radio reports an unprecedented amount of stranded vehicles in the city, as well as a mounting missing persons and death count .
HOPE: Alex demonstrates his confidence over Kris’ concern; plus he argues that they cannot turn around because people are counting on them at the hospital.
DANGER: The snowfall intensifies causing moments of white-outs; Kris demands that Alex turn around and take her back home, but he refuses. He explains again that the hospital is short staffed and that have to get there ASAP.
HOPE: Alex decides to turn around and go back home, after noticing that his vehicle is low on its charge.
FEAR: Alex loses his sense of direction in the blinding snow. He swerves and spins into a snowbank, becoming stuck.
ACT 2:
NEW PLAN: Alex climbs into the back of the SUV and retrieves a flare.
LOST RESOURCE: Alex fumbles the matches and they drop in the snow. He’s unable to get the flare lit.
REVELATION: Alex, after trying to persuade Kris to leave with him to find help, learns that she’s six weeks pregnant with his child.
INCOMPATIBILITY: Alex is angry and attempts to open his passenger door. An argument ensues with respect to Kris’ pregnancy and her decision not to previously tell him.
HOPE: Alex swears that he sees a light in the distance, which he believes could be some type of business where he can get help for the both of them.
FEAR: Kris doesn’t see it and refuses to leave the vehicle.
HOPE: Alex, still angry at Kris for not previously informing him of the pregnancy, has to force the door open as it’s stuck in ice. It finally, partially opens and he’s able to roll out of the SUV; He uses his feet, on his back to shut the driver’s side door.
ACT 2 TP/MIDPOINT: ISOLATION: Alex, now out of the vehicle, disappears into the blinding snow and fierce wind that nearly blows him over. Both Alex and Kris are now all alone without a working cell phone, heat or food.
ACT 3:
HOPE: Alex follows what appears to a light in the distance.
ISOLATION: Kris is alone as the SUV is getting socked in with a hard snow fall and a brutal wind that’s creating a large drift around the SUV, basically encompassing all of it.
BEGINNING EXHAUSTION: Alex labors with his breathing as he continues toward the light, with every fiber of his being.
HOPE: Alex sees what appears to be a building in the distance, with a street light.
TRAPPED: Kris discovers that she can only partially open either the passenger side door or the driver’s side door. She feels trapped, in darkness and isolated with no ability to communicate with anyone.
HOPE: Alex comes upon the building. He finds a rock and breaks a window; he then enters. He is alone; he finds a pad and pen and writes a note, apologizing for the break-in.
ACT 3 Turning Point: Alex finds a phone and attempts to dial 9-1-1, but he can’t get a signal. He decides to venture back into the storm, despite the wind and intensity of the downfall.
ACT 4
HOPE: Alex finds an abandoned SUV entombed in snow.
PANICK: Alex exerts energy to dig out enough of the ice and snow to determine that it’s not his SUV. He comes across another SUV and does the same, to discover once again the it’s not his.
HOPE: Although Kris is shivering in the SUV, she discovers an energy bar hidden in the glove compartment and eats it.
FEAR: Alex has difficulty seeing as his eyes are partially encrusted in snow and ice. Determined, Alex continues to move forward.
HOPE: Kris can hear the sound of voices from outside. She bangs on her window.
HOPE: Alex finds an SUV, which he believes could be his. He scrapes off snow and ice from the mirror.
FEAR: Alex finds a woman, who looks similar to Kris. He exerts every fiber of energy that he has to scrape off the snow and ice.
HOPE: Kris can hear a male’s voice and the scraping of ice and glass from her window.
FEAR: Alex tugs on the door with every ounce of strength that he has to open the passenger side door. Once he has the door ajar, he discover a woman who has froze to death.
HOPE: First responders and EMT shatter Kris’ window and drag her out. Kris is still alive and breathing.
FEAR: Alex collapses into a snowbank, because of sheer exhaustion.
HOPE: Kris lies in an ICU bed at the hospital. She looks up and sees Alex at the side of her bed, but then we see her asleep. When she opens her eyes, Alex is gone.
HEARTBREAK: A nurse informs Kris that Alex’s body was recovered from a snowbank.
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Tom’s 4 Act Structure
Create a first draft of your 4 Act Structure.
What I learned doing this assignment is that I need to do more brainstorming with respect to Act 3 and especially Act 4; the protagonist is in a face to face struggle with the elements as opposed to another person. I believe that this was the case with films like “127 Hours” and “Cast Away”.
1. Tell us the following:
Concept: Complying to a mandatory hospital call-in, Alex and Kris are trapped in their “dead” electric SUV in a generational blinding blizzard, without working cell phones.
Main Conflict: Between Alex and Kris; Alex wants to leave the SUV to find help, shelter and a way to get to the hospital, where Kris wants to stay in the vehicle, even though there is no heat. (She also has hidden reasons for staying in the SUV- low insulin and she’s pregnant with Alex’s baby.)
2. Fill in each of these with the answers you have right now.
Act 1:
Opening: Alex, driving his electric all wheel drive SUV, pulls into Kris’ driveway. They venture out into unplowed streets, headed to the hospital.
Inciting Incident: Kris asks Alex to turn around and take her back home because the visibility on the road is very poor. Alex refuses, explaining that the hospital is short staffed and that have to get there ASAP.
Turning Point: Alex loses his sense of direction in the blinding snow, then realizes he’s low on his charge. He swerves and spins into a snowbank, becoming stuck.
Act 2:
New plan: Alex climbs into the back of the SUV and retrieves a flare.
Plan in action: Alex gets out of the car, but drops the matches in the snow. He’s unable to get the flares lit.
Midpoint <div>
Turning Point: Alex learns that Kris is low on insulin and believes that he has to go out into the blizzard to find help. Kris insists on staying inside the vehicle, with that being their best chance at survival. When Alex pressures Kris to go with him, she reveals that she’s pregnant and doesn’t want to harm her baby.
Alex, angry at Kris for not previously informing him of the pregnancy, gets out of the vehicle and disappears into the blinding snow.
Act 3:
Rethink everything: In the blinding storm, Alex follows what appears to a light in the distance.</div>
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>New plan: Alex’s plan is find help, but if not, a warm place where he can bring Kris.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Turning <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Point: Huge failure / Major shift: Alex finds a building and breaks inside. He writes a note apologizing for breaking in. Attempts to dial out, but no signal.
<div>
Act 4:
Final plan: Alex returns into the storm to look for Kris and his SUV.Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict
Alex finds other SUV and buried cars in the snow but cannot find Kris; he’s able to find and rescue other people.
Kris bangs on the window to alert several EMT’s.They smash the side window and drag Kris out. Alex collapses in the snow, while searching for his SUV.
Resolution: Kris gets rescued by first responders and ends up in an ICU bed at the hospital. She looks up and sees Alex at the side of her bed, but then we see her asleep. When she opens her eyes, Alex is gone.
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Assignment 6
Tom’s Delivering Multiple Layers
What I learned doing this assignment is that brainstorming multiple times can lead to hidden secrets and agendas that the characters will not reveal to one another, unless under extreme pressure.
Brainstorm potential plot layers.
Surface layer– Alex, an ER physician, picks up Kris, an ER physician’s assistant, in a snowstorm, because they’re both on call and have been requested to work at an over crowded ER that’s short staffed.
Beneath That: They are unprepared for getting stranded for a long period of time in the SUV.
Alex started the journey with a fairly low charge, due to a power outage.
Alex failed to resupply his glove box with energy bars.
Kris failed to bring an extra dosage of insulin.
The flares failed to work because his matches get wet.
Alex failed to bring blankets and other warm clothing.
Beneath that:
Alex drives reckless, loses control, slides and gets stuck in a snowbank, after getting disoriented and lost in the blizzard.
How Revealed :
Alex spins his tires, but goes nowhere.
Kris checks Alex glove box for energy bars. She calls him out when she can’t find any. When they get stuck in the snowbank, Alex continues to gun it, spins his back wheels. Eventually his SUV runs out of power.
2. Brainstorm potential character layers.
Secret identity
Intrigue layers
Hidden relationships and conspiraciesHidden Character historyAlex: Pretends to be altruistic, but in reality feels inferior and a fraud, compared to his father who was a distinguished physician in the department and mostly got Alex his position through internal politics.
How Revealed: Kris questions Alex as to why he always feels that he has to be the hero in each situation. She chides him for putting his own heroic beliefs over the safety of others. Alex explains that his father would want nothing else and then reveals his relationship with his dad.
Alex: likes a nurse in the ER and knows that she’s working on that night. Kris suspects his attraction to the nurse, but they haven’t spoken about it.
Alex is lost – they un expectantly get caught in a snowbank.
Kris: is actually pregnant with Alex’s baby and is forced to reveal it when he pressures her to leave the vehicle to search for help.
How Revealed: Alex pressure Kris over and over to leave the vehicle with him; she reveals that she not only has to take care of herself, but also her unborn baby.
Alex denies that he could be the father, but Kris reminds him of when they were both drinking too much and went too far at her apartment.
3. Brainstorm potential location layers.
Alex and Kris become lost in the blinding storm and then they un expectantly get caught in a snowbank.
Deeper meaning – spinning his wheels, once they are stuck in the snowbank, only leads to draining the power of the SUV, until the car goes dead.
Trap to draw prey – Alex and Kris are trapped in their car, susceptible to freezing temperatures and wild animals.4. Tell us about the layers you’ve chosen. Use this format with each of them:
Surface Layer: Alex drives his SUV into a snowbank, during a raging blizzard, and gets them stuck.Beneath That: When Alex pressures Kris to leave the SUV with him, she reveals that she’s pregnant with his child and that she’s low on her insulin.
How Revealed: Constant and relentless pressure from Alex for her to leave the vehicle.
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Tom’s Character Journeys!
What I learned doing this assignment is that by continuously examining what my characters will do at each point of the their journey, I’m discovering new story elements that I hadn’t thought of before.
For each of your main characters, create a 3-Act Structure of their journey.
Alex:
Beginning: Alex, driving his electric all wheel drive SUV, pulls into Kris’ driveway. They venture out into unplowed streets. They are headed to the hospital as Alex is an ER physician and Kris is a Physician’s assistant. The hospital is short on staff and they’re both needed immediately.
Turning Point: Alex loses his sense of direction in the blinding snow, then realizes he’s low on his charge. There are no charging stations except at the hospital.
Midpoint: Alex’s SUV becomes stuck in a snowbank. Alex climbs into the back of the SUV and retrieves a flare; he get out of the car, but drops the matches in the snow. He’s unable to get the flares lit. He becomes enraged when Kris informs him that neither of their cell phones can get a signal.
Turning Point 2: Alex learns that Kris is low on insulin and believes that he has to go out into the blizzard to find help. Kris insists on staying inside the vehicle, with that being their best chance at survival. Alex ignores Kris and gets out of the vehicle, disappearing into the blinding snow.
Dilemma: Alex faces two dilemmas: first dilemma is whether or not to leave Kris in the car, alone, in order to find help. His second dilemma occurs when he discovers a school building and decides to break in through a window. The storm intensifies and he must decide between staying in a warm place and surviving or returning to the blizzard to find Kris, where he could die in the process.
3rd Act Climax:
Alex crawls through the blinding snow, as he appears to search for his SUV, after leaving the school. He collapses in a snow bank.
Ending:
Alex appears at Kris’ hospital bed, but is it really Alex or Kris’ dream?
Kris:
Beginning: Kris gets into Alex’s Suv. She warns him to take it slow, but Alex convinces her that they’ll be fine in his all wheel drive SUV.
Turning Point: Kris Realizes that she has a limited supply of insulin, and that Alex doesn’t have any energy bars or food of any kind in his vehicle. She berates Alex for not having energy bars in his vehicle and continues to argue that their best chance at survival is to stay inside the vehicle.
Midpoint: When their vehicle becomes stuck in the snowbank, Kris attempts to get a signal on both of their cell phones, but is unable to do so.
Turning Point 2: Kris does her best to convince Alex to stay in the vehicle and wait for help, but he ignores her pleads and disappears into the blinding snow.
Dilemma: Kris must decide whether or not to stay in the vehicle alone where she can stay warm, or go with Alex into the blizzard where she feels she could die.
3rd Act Climax: Kris shivers, then struggles to keep her eyes open, alone and freezing in the “dead” SUV, as the vehicle has had no power for quite some time.
Ending: Kris gets rescued by first responders and ends up in an ICU bed at the hospital. She looks up and sees Alex at the side of her bed, but then we see her asleep. When she opens her eyes, Alex is gone.
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Subject line: Tom’s Character Depth!
“What I learned doing this assignment is discovering new and hidden elements of my characters that will create more conflict in the story. I also discovered elements that don’t work for my characters, while initialing believing that they would.
1. With each of your characters, go through all of these questions to see which might fit for your story.
Internal Character Depth
Motivation: fits story as both characters are motivated for different reasons for their own survival and for the survival of others stranded on the road and at the hospital.
Secret: fits story as Alex believes that he’s a failure; Kris wants a family and sees that window closing.
Wound: fits with Alex with respect to his absentee, father who he feels he can’t live up to; Kris’ worry that Alex doesn’t want a family.
Subtext: Alex’s need to be a hero is not altruistic but based on his own insecurities and his Adrenaline for dangerous activities; Kris wants to build a relationship that focuses on family.
Layers: Alex’s admission that he’s a failure; Kris’ admission that family is more important to her than career.Character to character
Conflict: Alex wants to leave the car and find help, while Kris wants to stay in the car, believing that is their best chance at survival.
Hidden Agenda: Alex sees this as an opportunity to prove his heroism against impossible odds, even it means losing his own life.
Conspiracy: I don’t see conspiracy in this story yet, but it may exist and I haven’t discovered it yet.
Intrigue: Alex’s willingness to risk both of their lives by abandoning their vehicle in the blinding snowstorm.Character Situation
Dilemma: If they leave the car, they may die as has happened to many others in the community, but if they remain in the car, the may get buried in snow and they may not be discovered in time.
Secret Identity :Alex is driven by his emotions where Kris is more grounded, more of a logical reasoning thinking person, but also very stubborn and unrelenting in her beliefs.2. With each character, create a simple profile like the example above for LOCKE.
Alex:
Motivation: Alex’s motivation is to save himself, his girlfriend and to get to the hospital to save as many others as possible. Kris is motivated to stay inside the vehicle, despite the fact that the cart could be buried. She read that staying in the car gives the best chance for survival as well as staying dry and warmer.
Secret: Alex is motivated by his need to be a hero, but disguises it as being altruistic, as opposed to insecure about his worth. Kris’ secret is that she’s low on insulin, with along with food is essential to her survival. She doesn’t want to admit to a mistake by not bringing enough with her or not brining energy bars with her.
Wound: Alex’s father is a distinguished physician who Alex measures himself up to, even though his father was mostly absent from his life, growing up. Kris has a physical wound, juvenile diabetes, which she tries to hide from others.
Subtext: Alex hides his motivation behind his actions; kris hides her desire to have a family, which is most important in her life.
Layers: Eventually Alex reveals his insecurities about his father and Kris is forced to reveal her mistake with not bringing enough insulin, when she begins to go into shock.
3. Compare the character profiles to each other to see what conflicts can emerge from them. The most significant conflict hinges around each characters motivation and the actions that each takes toward accomplishing that motivation. Kris’ wound could cost her her life, while Alex’s wound could leave kris forever stranded by herself in the vehicle.
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Assignment 3
Subject line: Tom’s Right Characters!
Compare your concept to your lead characters to find unique ways for them to fulfill the concept.
“What I learned doing this assignment is the importance of building character depth through brainstorming, understanding my concept took and how each character reacts to the conflict that fits the hook. I also learned that the more brainstorming that I did with both characters, the better each character delivered on the hook.
Think about your Concept Hook and Contained Setting.<div>
Complying to a mandatory hospital call-in, Alex and Kris are trapped in their “dead” electric SUV in a generational blinding blizzard, without working cell phones.
With each of your main characters, how can they uniquely fit with the Hook?
ALEX
Alex, a young ER physician at the hospital, is a hero driven adrenaline junkie.
Alex is also impulsive and critical; he does things his own way.
Alex has a deep sense of duty, which is unrelenting.
Alex wants too measure up to his father, a distinguished physician.
KRIS
Kris, a young ER PA at the hospital, and longs for more autonomy in her job.
Kris is rational and logical and tries to think through a problem to reach a logical solution.
Kris is not afraid to speak her mind, even if it gets her in trouble.
Kris is also a diabetic and is low on her insulin.
Thinking about the conflict that hook creates, how does each main character enhance or cause that conflict?
Alex:
Goes through all of his options and is not afraid of trying risky activities to achieve his goal of getting to the hospital as quickly as possible. Alex causes the conflict by immediately attempting to get out of the vehicle to obtain the flare in the back. Alex blames Kris for not bringing enough insulin. When Alex finally retrieves the flare, it fizzles out.
Kris:
Defends her position with logical reasoning to escalate the conflict, Kris explains that she always carries energy bars in her own car and is mad at Alex for not carrying them in his glove box.
She warns Alex not to go outside in the blizzard, she feels that their best chance of survival is to stay in the vehicle and wait to be rescued. Kris enhances the conflict of telling Alex that he’s wrong, despite the fact that Alex is Kris’ boss in the ER.
Tell us what makes these characters the “right ones” for this story?
Alex is used to solving problems very quickly in the ER and is used to being in control.
Despite the failure of the flare, Alex believes that the solution is leaving the vehicle to follow a light that he believes he sees in the distance.
Kris believes that their only chance of survival is to stay inside the vehicle and wait for a rescue.
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Assignment 2
Subject line: Tom’s Great Hook!
How did this process work for me?
The process helped me to generate new ideas that I hadn’t thought of before and to expand a very basic concept.
What did you learn doing this assignment? I learned to think outside the box and discover elements that may not fit the literal term, but creates havoc and conflict for my characters. I also learned that by pre thinking/brainstorming these elements, I can come up with things that I may not think of later in the writing the script.
Do the following brainstorm sessions to discover a strong concept/hook. You only need one High Concept, but it is worth any brainstorming you need to do to discover it.
1. Taking your 5 ideas from the Pre-Lesson, use the techniques below to brainstorm possible major hooks.
A. Intriguing Contained Setting: An out of charged, electric, SUV getting buried by the minute in a whiteout snowstorm.<div>
B. Unique Device: Road Flares, Cell phones, power bar.
C. Unique Monster/Villain: Abandoned cars, tractor trailers, mother nature’s relentless storm, frigid cold air. Isolation, whether or not they’re still on the highway.
D. Mystery: Whether there is any warm shelters/help out
E. Impossible goal/Unsolvable problem: A hero driven physician and his girlfriend, who is also a nurse, must get to the hospital during a blinding snowstorm to help with the onslaught of patients due to the unprecedented storm. The electrical SUV is dead, there are no charging stations for many miles, their cell phones are also dead. The rear of the SUV is submerged in snow, but that is where the flare is. There is one power bar in the glove box.
F. Unique layers: The nurse is also a diabetic and is low on insulin.
2. Ask the High Concept Question.
Having to do with contained Survival films, what haven’t we seen before? </div><div>
The mission to help safe others when the main characters may die in the process and will suffer their own ordeal. (Most survival movies like “Alive”, 127 Hours, etc,. deal with doing anything to get out alive, but may not have the mission of saving others.
3. Pick one and do the Exchanging Components process.
List the components of your current concept. </div>
Nurse suffering dehydration, at extreme risk because of diabetes.
Doctor forced to go out for snow to help with dehydration, to dig out back of car to retrieve the flare in the back of the SUV.
Doctor loses his orientation.Without proper cloths- hypothermia sets in.
Both characters become physically and mentally weaker, the longer that the storm persists. -
“What I learned doing this assignment is a much better understanding of the elements of a contained movie and how less funds, in terms of the budget, can actually lead to more creativity/uniqueness in the story. It also made me more aware of the scenes that can unnecessarily add cost to the film.
Assignment Part 1: Select Your Project:
1. Go through your five ideas and determine which of them can easily fit the Covid-19 guidelines. For the moment, don’t list the ideas. Just tell us your experience of evaluating them based upon the guidelines.
A. It can be done as a contained story: Each of my five ideas takes place in a small confined area for most of the story which includes: a car, a grocery store freezer, a boat, a small single engine plane, and a small ER. <div>
B. You can write a pitch in one or two sentences: I can establish for each idea a longline that includes: quick sense of the main character, the event that launches the story and the challenge and mission in solving it.
C. There is something unique about it: My most unique ideas may come from true events that occurred in my hometown.
Assignment Part 2: Adjust a Produced Movie to Covid Guidelines
2. Pick a movie that is outside the Covid Guidelines and give us your thoughts on how they could make it in the current production environment.
TITLE: Flowers in the Attic
AS THEY DID IT:
People – 6 main actors, 6 minor characters , at least a dozen or more extras at the party and wedding scenes.
B. Stunts: Christopher and Kathy (the teenagers) use a rope to climb down and climb up the steep facade of the mansion.
C. Extras: two police officers, who have no dialogue, about 5 extras at the party and a dozen to 20 extras at the wedding.
D. Wardrobe: Casual and very formal wear for the wedding and party scenes.
E. Hair and Make Up: Negligible.
F. Kids and Animals: 2 small children, 2 teenagers and a pack of 4 to 5 dogs.
G. Quarantine: Large amount of extras at the wedding scene.
COVID GUIDELINE VERSION:
A. People: Several extras, including the two officers who show up at the family’s door to reveal the death of the father could be eliminated with just the mother receiving a phone call and seeing her reaction. The wedding could have could be just a few people, without people sitting next to each other in the pews.
B. Stunts: Remove the rope stunt.
C. Extras: Cut the number of extras at the party and wedding scenes along with the two officers.
D. Wardrobe: Some of the very formal wear could be replaced with more casual clothes to lower budget.
E. Hair and Make Up: Fine as is.
F. Kids and Animals: The two young children are critical to the concept, but the pack of dogs could be replaced with the sound of dogs barking.
G. Quarantine: Remove the extras at the party and wedding scenes. Remove the two officer extras and some of the supporting cast that had little to no impact on the story.
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1. Hi, I’m Tom Doran
2. I have written 4 completed feature length screenplays.
3. I’ve thought about creating a high concept but low budget contained screenplay for some time and see this class as a great opportunity to create an outline that I can later develop into a compelling screenplay.
4. I’m an alumni of the Screenwriting U Master Screenwriter Certificate Program.
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I, Tom Doran, agree to the terms of this release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.