[Tenill Ransom]

What I learned – Focus on hooks

Title: Chasing Love

Genre: Faith/Family

Sometimes is life, people mistake what’s true love. Would you agree?

Nine-year-old Chase Little tries to save his parents’ marriage by ‘finding love’. The main problem — he believes love is a pop star.

Chase and his fourth-grade classmates are given an assignment to help others in need. Chase decides to help his parents. He journeys to find Love, a pop star, and lands miles from home. He befriends a homeless man who assists him throughout his journey.

Chase’s parents report him missing. Police believe his homeless friend abducted him and launch a search. Chase continues his quest to save his parents’ marriage, and he finds the pop star.

While she isn’t the love his parents need, Chase discovers through his journey a valuable message about forgiveness, kindness, and the right love that is necessary for his parents’ relationship to work.

This project has wide audience appeal and a great role for a real-life bankable pop star.

If you like the concept, I’d be happy to send you the script.

Tenill Ransom

678-358-9760

[Tenill Ransom]

What I learned? Further defining the character’s profile assists with keeping the character rounded and his/her actions consistent throughout various scenes.

Neo Newsome

Traits: Dedication to his work, Arrogance/Confidence,
Loyalty. Flaw: Acts with no regard for potential consequences. Values: Success. Irony: He’s focused on himself but has a big heart and
uses what he earns for his family.
What makes this the right character for this role? As
an infant, he was left in a dumpster and later adopted. The fact that he was discarded as trash
drives his desire for success—to prove that he’s not trash, not discounted
or overlooked, but the best.

Boonie

Traits: Deceitful,
Manipulative, Dishonest. Subtext:
Laughs, Smiles, Lies.
Flaw:
Greed and women. Values:
Money.
Irony:
everything he wants his rap partner Neo has.

Shayla

Traits:
Defensive, insecure, Sneaky.
Subtext:
She makes it seem that the other person is doing something wrong;
deflects.
Flaw: wavering
emotions; doesn’t commit her heart.
Values:
Power.

Irony: gave up something good thinking
she had something better; she didn’t.

Jannette

Traits:
Kind, Honest, Loving, Peaceful.
Subtext:
Remains silent, ignore question, changes the subject.
Flaw:
very timid.
Values:
Right living.
Irony:
While she is spiritual person, she attracts guys that are still finding
their way.
What makes this the right character for this role? Her peaceful spirit intercept Neo’s destructive
actions at just the right time.
Also, her talents as a songstress compliments his entertainment endeavors.

[Tenill Ransom]

What I learned? Defining the characters sharpens the storyline.

My protagonist, Neo, is a Dreamer. He dreams of being a famous entertainer and invests all his finances and time into his career, while ignoring the needs of his girlfriend and child.

The antagonist is a Villain. He takes away the things that are most important to Neo and things that are secondary – career, fame, then his girlfriend and child.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Supporting characters:

Neo’s rap partner, Boonie

Neo’s girlfriend Shayla,

his infant daughter Sky,

his grandmother Eloise,

his uncle T-Roc

new love interest, Jannette,

Minor roles:

Shayla’s friend Monica

Record label Executive

Store clerk

DFACS employee

Background characters:

Partygoers, patrons, officers, government workers, record label employees, other family members and friends

Genre – Drama

Character Profiles:

Neo Newsome

Role in the story: Lead, Dreamer
Age range and Description: 25 to 32, Male <div>

Internal Journey: arrogantly self-centered and self-occupied to humbly
family and faith-focused.

External Journey: from chasing dreams and barely making it to
building a successful family unit and alternative career.

<div>

Motivation: Fame

Wound: Adoptive Mother passed

Mission/Agenda: To be famous

Secret: Crimes he commits to obtain money

What makes them special? His talent; his willingness to
be a father to a child not his own

Boonie

Role in the story: Villain, Neo’s rap partner
Age range and Description: 25 to 32, Male,

Internal Journey: from secretly deceiving and manipulating
Neo, to openly opposing him.</div>

External Journey: from wanting a successful career with
his entertainment partner Neo, to wanting a successful career by himself

<div>

Motivation: Fame

Mission/Agenda: To be a famous rapper

Secret: Is the father of Neo’s daughter Sky

What makes them special? He’s connivingly slick

Shayla

Role in the story: Supporting, Neo’s Girlfriend,
Student
Age range and Description: 25 to 32, Female </div><div>

Internal Journey:

External Journey: from dedicated girlfriend to Neo to his
envious ex-girlfriend

Motivation: take better care of her daughter

Wound:

Mission/Agenda: Getting her college degree
Secret: Knows the father of her child is Neo’s best
friend

What makes them special?

Jannette

Role in the story: Supporting, Love Interest, Store
Clerk and Singer
Age range and Description: 25 to 32, Female, </div>

Internal Journey: from hopelessness to drive and sense
available path to accomplish goals.

External Journey: from clerk to pursuit of her passion

Motivation: to find purpose

Wound: None
Mission/Agenda: to be singer

Secret: None

What makes them special? Heart of service, voice,

</div>

• This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by  Tenill Ransom.

[Tenill Ransom]

Understanding the transformation expanded the
story line, adding an additional dynamic to my outline.

Transformation: Neo values the success of family over the success of career.

Internal journey: arrogantly self-centered and self-occupied to humbly family and faith-focused

External journey: from chasing dreams and barely making it to building a successful family unit and alternative career.

Old Ways:

Self-centered

Money driven

Puts himself first

Arrogant

Feels people owe him something

New Ways:

Focused on family

Puts God first

Focused on building his family unit

Humble

He owes his family

[Tenill Ransom]

HI, I’m Tenill. I’ve written 5 scripts and look forward to writing another in 30 days. I’m also a songwriter.

[Tenill Ransom]

Joy, I have used We Screenplay as recently as September 2022. From my experience, the feedback has been actionable, meaning it has helped with improving the overall quality of the screenplay. I can share the feedback with you, if you like.

[Tenill Ransom]

The reworked letter is simple, but very compelling and seems to capture all the right hooks. I totally get your concept. Hope you get tons of script requests!