Terrell Harris
Forum Replies Created
-
Terrell’s Marketing Campaign
What I learned doing this assignment is how to hit the ground running after gaining all this now information.
Right now – MARKETING*CAMPAIGN*#7:**Building*Your*Network
I’m actually having luck with this on Instagram, though I need to dust off LinkedIn
I like entering contests and after a quart final win, that boosted my confidence, I would like to pad my bio win a couple more bigger placements.
I plan to research the best contests for horror, since I have 3 horror script in the pipe, I believe 3 scripts by first quarter 2024 is doable with AI’s help. I think this kind of speed is where the industry is headed may as well get used to it now. So I can market in a swarm.
Then follow up with
MARKETING*CAMPAIGN*#4:**Promoting*A*Contest*Win
MARKETING*CAMPAIGN*#1:**Can’t*Travel
Maybe MARKETING*CAMPAIGN*#5:**Getting*Recommendations
-
Terrell’s Query Letter Draft 2
What I learned doing this assignment is to trust the hooks and don’t be so wordy
Genre horror, fantasy
Title: The Darkness
OPENING HOOK: When two foreigners travel to the Philippines they discover that every monster, every spell, every curse, every backwater belief is 100% real.
Synopsis: This is a diverse story that intersects different cultures with a single root in spirituality and folklore.
Western men flock to the Philippines for wives or girlfriends knowing little about the culture and less about the folklore.
When a local business woman risks everything to build a resort on land cursed by a powerful witch, two foreign guests discover the dark side of Philippine folklore.
When the resort owner fights back, the witch ups the ante by covering the entire resort in a monster filled inky darkness that ordinary light can’t penetrate. Trapped, the foreigners learn this under belly of Philippines society is all too real and try to take action, but they have no idea what they’re dealing with. Fortunately the resort owner has her own plan, a sandugo or blood pact.
If you like the concept, I’d be happy to send you the script.
Bio: I’ve spent time in the Philippines interviewing locals about the folklore. I made a gris-gris bag (an African talisman believed capable of warding off evil and bringing good luck) for a friend in the Philippines who claimed she was under attack by witches. She said the counter measure was effective.
I placed as a quarter finalist in the Los Angeles International Screenplay Diversity Initiative Contest in 2023.
Contact:
Terrell Harris
address:
phone #:
-
Terrell’s Target Market
What I learned doing this assignment is I was already doing this but only scratching the surface. I learned how to go deep into IMDB for producer sources.
Title: The Darkness
Logline: When two foreigners travel to the Philippines they discover that every monster, every spell, every curse, every backwater belief is 100% real.
Genre: horror
5 Similar Movies
1. Geisha of Death
2. Aurora
3. Nocebo
4. The Vacation
5. Midnight in a Perfect World
5 Actors for the leads
1. Kim Seon-ho
2. Kylie Verzosa
3. Ruby Ruiz
4. Gloria Diaz
<div>5. Regé-Jean Page</div><div>
</div>
Producers (the asterisk are producers with deeper horror experience)
1. Pedring Lopez
2. Rex Lopez
3. Roy Lopez
4. Troy Montero
5. Jason Price
6. Wesley Villarica
7. Maia Yambao-Lopez
8. Ava Yap
9. Peewee Baisa
10. Gary Barrozo
11. Rico Concepcion
12. Vincent Del Rosario III *
13. Vic Del Rosario Jr.
14. Veronique Del Rosario-Corpus
15. Federico Fernandez *
16. Vicente Paolo Fernandez
17. Yam Laranas *
18. June Torrejon-Rufino
19. Jared Connon
20. Daniel Bekerman *
21. Tonee Acejo
22. Alvin Yapan
23. Jose Mari Abacan
24. Annette Gozon
25. Nora Javellana
26. Katia Montenegro-Pla
27. Lily Y. Monteverde
28. Jocelyn D. Bracamonte *
29, William Lao
30. Roselle Y. Monteverde
31. Bianca Balbuena *
32. Brunella Cocchiglia
33. Maxime Cottray *
34. Cloé Garbay
35. David Gilbery *
36. Patti Lapus
37. Armi Rae Cacanindin
38. Quark Henares
39. Bradley Liew
40. Rica May Salvador
41. Ronald Arguelles
42. Iana Bernardez
43. Carlo L. Katigbak
44. Ginny Monteagudo-Ocampo
45. Rica May Salvador
46. Linggit Tan
47. Elaine Uy-Casipit
48. Ruby Ruiz
49. Shanty Harmayn
50. Hermie Go
51. Brenda M. Bayhon
52 Ivy Noda
53. Ethel Cais
54. Niña De Castro
55. Valerie S. Del Rosario
56. Aljhun Virgo
57. Iris Lee *
-
This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by Terrell Harris.
-
This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by
-
Terrell’s Phone Pitch
What I learned from this lesson is brevity leads more than anything else.
Hi, I’m Terrell Harris and I’m wondering if I could run a short horror pitch by you?
I’ve spent time in the Philippines interviewing locals about the folklore and I have a culturally diverse screenplay called The Darkness where several foreigners travel to the Philippines and discover that every monster, every spell, every curse, every backwater belief is 100% real.
It’s a low budget movie in the $1 to 4 million range.
Actors I like in the lead roles
In the role of the Korean businessman I like Kim Seon-ho or Hwang Min-hyun
In the role of the resort owner I like Kylie Verzosa
In the role of the witch I like Agot Isidro or Gloria Diaz
In the role of the African American vlogger I like Regé-Jean Page or O’Shea Jackson Jr.
The script is 100 pages.
How does it end?
Setup
The resort owner struggles with her business because of a land dispute and curse from a powerful witch. A Babaylon suggests appeasing the witch through a blood contract. She refuses saying that land has been in her family for hundreds of years. Doing research the resort owner discovers the Spanish and American wars caused the death of hundreds of thousands of indigenous inhabitants on the land.
Payoff
The foreign men form an attack plan that fails terribly. She finally agrees to the (Sandugo) or blood pact to appease the witch and her ancestors, breaking the curse and saving the lives of the foreigners.
I came to your company because I loved the movie ‘Nocebo” so I did some research on it.
-
Terrell’s Pitch Fest Pitch
What I learned is having a frame work to pitch in takes some the anxiety away, like yeah, ok I can do this. (in writing anyway)
Credibility: I’ve spend time in the Philippine interviewing locals about their supernatural experiences, I even aided a woman in her supernatural battle with witches. I’ve had one quarter final placement in contests.
This is a horror story.
My title is The Darkness.
Hook: What if several foreigners traveling to the Philippines discovered that every monster, every spell, every curse, every backwater belief is 100% real.
The budget range is $1-3 million
Actors I like in the lead roles
In the role of the Korean businessman I like Kim Seon-ho
In the role of the resort owner I like Kylie Verzosa
In the role of the witch I like Agot Isidro
In the role of the vlogger I like Jamaine Brown
ACT 1 – A land dispute erupts between a resort owner and a witch’s coven squatting on the land, resulting in a curse. The resort owner tries varies strategies to counter the effects of the curse.
ACT 2 – Angering the witch, the witch ups the ante on the curse by covering the resort in a monster filled inky darkness. The foreigners come to believe the folklore.
ACT 3 – The foreigners plot to kills the witch, a plot that backfires and endangers their lives. Fortunately the resort owner has alternate plan.
How does it end? (setup / payoff)
Doing research the resort owner discovers the Spanish and American wars caused the death of hundreds of thousands of indigenous inhabitants. She seeks out a Babaylan (shaman, sorcerer) to create a spiritual contract to appease the witches and her ancestors, breaking the curse and saving the lives of the foreigners.
-
Terrell’s Query Letter
What I learned doing this assignment is those first 5 lessons are key to build upon, there’s real gems in them if dig just a little bit.
GENRE: Horror
TITLE: The Darkness
OPENING HOOK: What if several foreigners traveled to the Philippines and discovered that every monster, every spell, every curse, every backwater belief is 100% real.
Synopsis: Western men are known to flock to the Philippines for wives or girlfriends knowing little about the culture and even less about the folklore.
A business woman risks everything to build a resort on land cursed by a powerful witch, while a group of foreigners discover the dark side of Philippine folklore.
The entire resort (this is a contained movie) comes under attack by a monster filled, inky darkness that ordinary light can’t penetrate.
If you like the concept, I’d be happy to send you the script.
Bio: Terrell has spent time in the Philippines investigating the folklore. He made a gris-gris bag (a talisman, amulet or charm, believed capable of warding off evil and bringing good luck to oneself or another) for a friend who claimed she was under attack by witches. She said the counter measure was effective. He placed as a quarter finalist in the Los Angeles International Screenplay Diversity Initiative Contest in 2023.
CONTACT INFO: 555-012-3456
-
This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by Terrell Harris.
-
This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by
-
Terrell’s High Concept/Elevator Pitch
What I learned doing this assignment is how to seek out the high concept by thinking in broader terms when it’s not readily obvious.
1. When several foreigners travel to the Philippines they discover that every monster, every spell, every curse, every backwater belief is 100% real.
Dilemma
A superstitious Korean businessman with inherited shaman abilities is tasked with acquiring a cursed resort in the Philippines or he is fired from the family business.
Main Conflict
When a witch threatens a business woman’s livelihood with spells and magic the business owner fights back with her own ingenuity and determination which may not be enough.
What’s at stake?
If a business woman can’t find a way to lift an ancestral curse she will lose her family’s livelihood and their entire life savings.
Goal/Unique Opposition
A business woman sinks her family’s life savings into a resort that is cursed by an angry unkillable witch that wants her ancestral land back.
3. I’m writing a story about foreign men who travel to the Philippines for the a love connection but encounter the life threatening supernatural folklore instead.
-
<font size=”3″>Terrell’s Synopsis Hooks
</font><font size=”3″>What I learned doing this assignment is I’m seeing setups, payoffs. subtext, varying storylines all within a handful of hooks.</font>
Title: Darkness
Written by Terrell Harris
Genre: horror
Major Opening Hook: A large monster attacks a small bungalow. The unsuspecting/inebriated foreigner sleeps through the whole thing, while the terrified Filpina witnesses everything and bolts at sunrise to his surprise. This resort is haunted/cursed.
Targeted by a vengeful and
powerful witch with an army of creatures at her command, the resort
owner fights back in her own way, one of which is targeting
foreigners for overnight stays, who don’t believe in the local
folklore or curses.Emotional Dilemma 1: A superstitious businessman eyes a small goblin causing mischief in the resort bar, ((Intrigue) “visible to just him,”) he is eager to regain his father’s favor, but must overcome his fear of the supernatural to scout and acquire the resort. At the same time his father lambastes him over the phone that he better get this deal done or he’s out of the family business.
Emotional Dilemma 2: A self confessed witch falls in love with the vlogger and goes against her coven to protect him, warning him of the dangers of the cursed resort.
Emotional Dilemma 3: The vlogger has a huge crush on the resort owner. Will he win her heart?
Major Twist: In a fit of jealously the self confessed witch double crosses the vlogger with a plan to sacrifice him to the darkness in his own heart
Major Turning Point: The entire resort comes under attach by an inky darkness that ordinary light can’t penetrate. Numerous monsters inhabit this darkness.
Major Twist: Every creature in the darkness is not evil and murderous, and some will aid the humans for a favor or 2.
Major Twist: Everyone trapped in the witches darkness must face a darkness within their own heart/ psyche.
What surprises awaits them in the darkness?
Can the heroic trio (vlogger, resort owner, businessman) survive the darkness, save the resort and defeat the witch?
-
This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by Terrell Harris.
-
This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by
-
Terrell’s 10 Most Interesting Things
What I learned doing this assignment is this a pretty effective way to get rid of writer’s block.
A. What is most unique about your villain and hero?
The villain is a witch with deity level powers.
A superstitious businessman seeking to redeem himself in his father’ s eyes is sent to the Philippines to acquisition resort that happens to be cursed.
B. Major hook of your opening scene?
A large monster attacks a small bungalow.
C. Any turning points?
Since locals are afraid to stay overnight, the resort owner runs an internet special directed at foreigners and manages to fill her resort.
A self confessed witch falls in love with a vlogger and goes against her coven to protect him.
The entire resort comes under attack by an inky darkness that ordinary light can’t penetrate.
Two foreigners (vlogger and businessman) believe and plot to help the resort owner fight back.
Emotional dilemma?
A superstitious businessman, eager to regain his father’s favor, must overcome his fear of the supernatural to scout and acquire the cursed resort
A self confessed witch falls in love with the vlogger and goes against her coven to protect him, warning him of the dangers of the cursed resort.
The vlogger, falling in love the resort owner and quietly stringing along the self confessed witch for help decides to help the resort owner break the curse, by killing the head witch.
· Major twists?
In a fit of jealously the self confessed witch double crosses the vlogger with a plan to kill him.
Every creature is not evil and murderous, and some will aid the humans for a favor or 2
Everyone trapped in the witches darkness must face a darkness in their own heart
H. Or any big surprises?
The businessman has psychic powers, hence sensitivity to the spirit world.
The head witch is near impossible to kill and her powers are godlike, can they figure out her weakness in time?
Only certain locally made weapons will works against the monsters and witches.
Our group will face some of The Philippines most terrifying monsters.
The resort owner decides embraces the curse when she concludes that she deserves it.
-
Terrell’s Producer/Manager
What I learned is the writer is the first leg of a relay race, and writing these pitches actually help guides the screenplay to live up to the hype of the pitch, which it better.
For this assignment it sounds as if I already have a manager and the producers could be a total strangers.
TO THE PRODUCER:
I would pitch sans the screenplay (unless requested) (title, genre, locations, the journey for the leads) I would emphasize is it low budget (but not cheap) contained movie, taking place in primarily one location the resort. The film is entitled the darkness so much of it takes place during dark scenes so the cinematographer and the gaffer would have to be very creative versus just straight out effects for tension and scares. (I would try to emphasize that in the script.) The two leads have the vast majority of the lines. Since this takes place at a haunted resort (both interior and exterior). This is a small fairly rustic resort so most scenes are exterior. I’m believe this could appeal to Asian and western audiences, male and females.
(Due to the previous assignment, monsters are clearly the hook in my story) and SE Asia has no shortage of unusual creepy crawlies from fetus eating vampires, (Aswangs or Manananggal) demon babies, (Tinyanak) cigar smoking bigfoots (Kapre) to interdimensional beings similar to dwarves or gobins to creatures that defy western description (like the Sigbin or Bangungot.) As tensions and scares mount with each monster encounter that’s worst than the last til the confrontation with the witch pulling the strings. (shorten to handful of SE Asia’s most terrifying monsters as opposition.)
Oh! Young Korean actors are very popular in Asia especially the Philippines, so the lead could be a great role for an up and coming young actor that’s hot in the Asian market.
TO THE MANAGER:
I would would submit a screenplay with my pitch expectations (I guess a bible of sorts) and ask advice and recommendations for something they feel that feel they can take to market.
-
Terrell’s Marketable Components
What I learned doing this assignment is how to adjust the story to make sure it’s meet the marketing hype.
LOG LINE: An American’s love connection in the Philippines leads to a life-altering encounter with multiple women, entangling him in a mystical conspiracy orchestrated by a powerful prophetic witch and a quest for revenge.
D. Timely: In social media circles there’s a “Passport Bros.,” phenomenon where western/American men are like western women suck, Asian women make better wives and Western Women are like fuq you, good riddance, and men are traveling to countries like the Philippines to find wives or girlfriends they are already met online, knowing very little about the culture and even less about the folklore and how it is connected present day.
F. Ultimate: Every monster, every spell, every curse, every back water belief is totally real or true.
The fact that the story is set in the Philippines and involves a love connection between an American man and a Filipino woman could be seen as timely, given the current interest in Southeast Asian culture and the growing number of mixed-race couples. From a western point it diversifies the potential for the cast and a light love story could interest female audience members.
Ultimate: numerous monsters could interest the younger male demographic. The haunted house aspect (contained movie taking place mainly at a small cursed resort) could interest an older demographic for male and females.
LOG LINE 2 ULTIMATE: When an American falls in love with a cursed woman he must wade through an army of mythical monsters lead by a powerful witch to win heart and break the curse.
LOG LINE 3 TIMELY: when a small business owner finds a way to circumvent a local curse and revitalize her business by inviting foreign men to her resort via the internet for love connections with local women, a powerful witch seek retribution for the land taken from her.
Being the nerd that I am no. 2 peaks my interest
-
Terrell’s Project and Market
Title: The Darkness
(cultural folkloric) Horror
Concept: Western men flock to the Philippines for the women but experience mystical encounters with the underbelly of SE Asian folklore.
I love folklore, it’s like horror with real roots in the culture. I wanted to pit western thought against eastern folklore, if the folklore was all true, however ridiculous it seems to the western mind.
I’m thinking of approaching producers, because the thought that I could write something that potentially could put dozens or hundreds or if big enough maybe thousands of people to work makes me very excited. The Producer seems the fastest way to that.
What I learned is concept = major hook.
-
My name is Terrell Harris. Nicknames Tashi or just T.
I’ve written 3 feature length scripts.
I had a major stroke in 2016 that I’m still covering from. The last script I wrote I treated like brain therapy and I managed to complete it, after learning how to spell again starting over with 3 letter words. I typed with one hand and dictation software. So if my English is a little wonky, please forgive me.
That screenplay won a quarter finalist award, thanks to Hal’s Profound Screenplay class.
Figured is time to address something that terrifies me, the business end of screenwriting, so here I am.
-
I, Terrell Harris agree to the terms of this release form.
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
-
Terrell’s Profound Map Version 1
What I learned doing this assignment is how to bring everything together for a tight profound outline of my screenplay.
Logline: When a soft-hearted fighter from a third world slum catches the attention of a rich CEO she must uncover a genocidal conspiracy before his corporation destroys her orphanage and her city.
Profound truth: It is better to be of a lowly spirit with the poor than to divide the spoil with the proud.
Being humble among the meek/poor/week is better than being with those who oppress them2.What is the Transformational Journey?
Old Ways: Elitist, privileged, exploitative, self importance, selfish, proud, abusive,
not understanding what love actually is, segregated thinking, caste system, abuse of powerJourney: infatuated with a winning fighter from slums, spend time with her and her people
misunderstand the affection shown him, as he comes to understand love, tries to stop evil corporate plan, discovers real love, corrects way of the pastNew Ways: integrated thinking, compassion, the people come first, invest in the poorer population, equality, fairness
Transformational Logline: An abusive corporate rich kid falls for a fighter from the slums, learns what love really is and corrects his behavior and his corporation’s accordingly
3. Who are Your Lead Characters?
• Change Agent: Cyndi, Lower Seattle population
• Transformable Character: John and Jocelyn
• Oppression: the corporation, the elites personified in Evie4. How Do You Connect With Your Audience in the Beginning of the Movie?
A. Relatability: Cyndi is a popular underdog fighter, the entire lower class and some of upper class including John support her
B. Intrigue: Cyndi saves the life of her opponent even though the fight is to the death.
C. Empathy: The orphaned kids are with Cyndi in her locker room cheering for her, she fight for the kids
D. Likability: Cyndi takes care of an orphanage full of kids
5. What is the Gradient of the Change?
JOHN
EMOTIONAL GRADIENT: Desired Change. John is infatuated with Cyndi and takes it upon himself to try to go meet her.
We watch him go through these stages:
Excitement: Down to lower Seattle to watch underground fight. Ends up spending the evening with Cyndi and her peeps.
Hope: After enjoying himself, Cyndi and population had an effect on him. Makes pleas to the corporate board or/and his step mom to not destroy Lower Seattle
Discouragement: Plea is rejected heartlessly
Courage: Goes against order in front a crowd of elites
Triumph and Loss: City is still flooded, discovers real love
JOCELYN
EMOTIONAL GRADIENT: Forced Change. Jocelyn is aggravated at John’s attention to Cyndi and vice versa. We watch her go through these stages:
Denial: She ignores it on the surface. But she gets angry.
Anger: When she discovers that John spent the night with her, she tries to have her killed (maybe)
Bargaining: At the gala, Jocelyn tries to bargain in her on threatening way, she turns down John (stage) proposal.
Depression: thinking something bad with happen to her she wonders into Lower Seattle on her on where she is shown consideration and learns how lower Seattle citizens really are.
Acceptance: she just needs to show John that she really does love him despite the arranged marriage and party attitude/atmosphere they tend to shareACTION GRADIENT
SETUP
• Down to lower Seattle to watch underground fight. Likes a fighter named Cyndi.
• Meets Cyndi and her peoples, hangs out with them. Spends the evening/night there with Cyndi in this lower city slum area
John offers Cyndi a job as his bodyguard, she says yes. Invites her to New Seattle
JOURNEY
• John’s corporation has a plan to recover the lower land, through genocide.
• But John’s through excursion, his heart has softened in regard to residents and this plan, he tries to stop it, to no avail.
• After touring New Seattle with John they stop by John’s Corporation
• John gets into a fight with his Stepmom and she has Cyndi thrown out of the city.
• A secret hacker group approaches Cyndi about her recent access to John’s corporation. She is asked to spy.
•Cyndi agrees as they devise a plan to get her into a super exclusive gala
PAYOFF
• Cyndi uncovers the planned genocide, but the plan is put into action immediately (this may have to change)
John stands against his stepmom and corporation but loses Cyndi trust.
• it’s a race to save as many people as John and Cyndi can.
• John takes over the corporation with plans to make amends and bridge social economic gaps between both societies• Cindi and John make up
• John and Jocelyn are together nowCHALLENGE/WEAKNESS GRADIENT:
Challenge: struggles to fit in
Weakness: Callous and over self confident
Challenge: John’s audience unsympathetic
Weakness: over confident, shallow or weak argument
Challenge: Battle of wills
Weakness: loses
Challenge: flips script at last moment, tries to gain allies before big event
Weakness: desperation, going against status quo
Challenge: the woman he loves hates him
Challenge: confesses he knew about the plan all along6. What is the Transformational Structure of Your Story?
MiniMovie 1 – Status Quo and Call to Adventure
It’s the year 2222. Some haggard fans are watching combat sports on a platform 600 feet in the air. John Lee, corporate rick kid heads down to watch his favorite fighter “battle princess” Cyndi with his well dressed entourage. After the fight, John want to meet her. He has a bodyguard extend an invitation but Cyndi’s crew blows off the invitation. Not used to no as an answer, John ventures into this Lower Class slum area with his bodyguard to meet Cyndi. The others refuse to goChange Agent: Cyndi
Transformational Characters: John and Jocelyn
Old Ways: elitist, used to being served, catered to
The Vision: in a fight to the death, Cyndi lets her opponent win
Challenge: Meeting Cyndi
Weaknesses: segregation, separate society/classesMiniMovie 2 – Locked Into Conflict
John and his bodyguard are jumped by unknown assailants, Cyndi and her friend come to his rescue reluctantly they let John hang with them at the after party celebration, John get so drunk he spends the night in Old Seattle. He offer Cyndi a job as his new bodyguard. After he offers a huge sum of money and she accepts though not for the reason we think.
Old ways: Entitlement, throw money around
Challenge: seeing below the surfaces, responding to genuine needs, struggle to fit in
Weaknesses: Callous and over self confident, self importanceMiniMovie 3 – Hero Tries to Solve Problem – But Fails.
After spending the night, John heart softens over a plan to wipe out Old Seattle, pleas with his step mom and current CEO to reconsider and not wipe out the residents. But she is adamant and won’t budge.Change Agent: John asks his mother to reconsider the current corporate plan to flood Old Seattle, that’s basically genocide.
Vision: “We can approach this differently. Integrate our 2 societies not necessary to eliminate them to get the land. They could have a lot to offer if we include them.”
OldWays: corporate espionage, taking what we what,
NewWays: Inclusiveness, working together
Challenge: working through Evie’s hidden backstory, changing her mind
Weaknesses: Stubbornness, PrejudiceMiniMovie 4 – Hero Forms a New Plan
John tries to go through his fiance’ father and Evie’s business partner, Nanako Katashi.
John and Jocelyn engagement is based on a merger of their companies Fifth Insight and Psych Tech Mercenary Corps., a private military firm.Vision: John talk to Katashi about his idea so save the citizens and merge the two societies.
Old Ways: Evie wants to use Psych Tech Troop to execute her plan for the purge of Old Seattle citizenry.
New Ways: Katashi wants to agree and not see his troops use as mercenary against ordinary citizens but Evie is calling the shots. Katashi tells John he just want Jocelyn to be loved and taken care of, if John can propose publicly during the gala, and officially announce their engagement, John would become Sa-jang (president) of the military arm and Katashi could refer control to him.MIDPOINT:
Everything is coming to critical mass at the gala. Cyndi infiltrates, Evie plans to announce and move up her plan, Jocelyn is feel a type of way about John and may not say yes,Old Ways: secret elite gathering, plotting against the meek
Challenge: Cyndi learns about the plan against Old Seattle, Jocelyn does like all the attention John has been giving Cyndi and may say no to his proposal, Evie move up her time table for Old Seattle destruction with a simulated video of the destruction. John in his chasing after Cyndi forgets to propose leaving Jocelyn crushed and Katashi dismayed.
Weaknesses:
Ignored Jocelyn, pissed off Cyndi cause he knew these things were happening, underestimated Evie, hurt Katashi’s feelingsMiniMovie 5 – Hero Retreats & The Antagonism Prevails
As Evie executes her plan asap, (a plan months away, is now days away) John tries to patch things up with Jocelyn and Cyndi, plan how to rescues Citizens before the damn is sabotaged and Old Seattle flooded.Vision: must save Old Seattle, fix things with Jocelyn and Cyndi,
Old Ways: elites cheer Evie’s announcement
New Ways: John publicly betrays the ways of Evie, the Corporation, must protect Old Seattle.
Challenge: Cyndi runs out to tell the news, John chases her, a distraught Jocelyn wanders into Old Seattle alone under the hope that something bad will happen to her, Evie is on the warpath.MiniMovie 6 – Hero’s Bigger, Better Plan!
Citizens of Old Seattle brace for the disaster to come. John plans to evacuate Citizens to the battle needle and tunnel just need to hack automatic defense systems, plans to charge Evie and the board with crimes against humanity in an international tribunalOld Ways:
Evie will flood Old Seattle from 2 sources, John dodges that he was willing to go along with his corporation plan at first (doesn’t take responsibility, throws Evie under the bus). Evie partners with another mercenary team to sabotage the water ways, since Katashi is slow to act.
New Way:John convinces Cyndi he was fighting Evie’s plan. John and Jocelyn finally understand each other.
Challenge:evie is above the law but a tribunal will bring her crime to light. Can they hack the defensive mechanisms in time,
Weaknesses:Throwing Evie under the bus, Cyndi points out John benefited from an oppressive system til now, John insists he can’t change the past but he can try to change the futureMiniMovie 7 – Crisis & Climax
The flood come from two sources a river and Puget Sound. As Old Seattle goes under water, troops push them back to the battle needle, as they deny them access to New Seattle. One of Cyndi’s kids get caught in the flood, John manages to recuse her.New Ways: John and Cyndi and even Jocelyn work together to get people to safety
Vision: Old Seattle can be saved, hackers hack multiple New Seattle sources with a video feed Cyndi secretly obtained during the gala, the are able to sway New Seattle support to their side
Challenge: the children are in danger
Weaknesses:
Uncertainty. Guilt.Mini-Movie 8 – New Status Quo
John testifies to the tribunal, promises to dismantle the old system build kids a new home and learning center, drafts new mission statements for the company.Old Ways: Evie escapes will build her empire again (for a potential sequel)
New Way: Though work remains, Old Seattle is saved and the citizens of both societies on their way to new ways of being.
Profound Truth: It is better to be of a lowly spirit with the poor than to divide the spoil with the proud.7. How are the “Old Ways” Challenged?
A. Challenge through Questioning:
New Seattle is an elite cyber city build over the earthquake ruins of Old Seattle. New Seattle can no longer expand upward without reclaiming more land on the actual ground. Fifth Insight Corp. who built and runs the city plans to wipe the population out and take the land.
After hanging out with Cyndi and her friends John questions whether they really have to kill the citizens of lower Seattle, and if they could integrate old and new Seattle.B. Challenge by Counterexample:
John is surprised to see a resident DJ of New Seattle performing in an Old Seattle club. John chats with her about why she performs in the Old Seattle, her answer gives him food for thought.C. Challenge by “Should Work, But Doesn’t”:
John tries to order one of his expensive drinks in an Old Seattle club but the club doesn’t have the ingredients to make drinks like that he tries to flex his entitlement but to no avail
Cyndi says “he’ll have a beer.”D. Challenge through Living Metaphor
John tries to flex with his money but it’s not accepted, he is treated like family. “my family doesn’t treat anyone like this”
Whispers to Cyndi “aren’t these people poor.”
Cyndi says they just want to show you some love, it’s the culture down here
John is confused
Cyndi explains their world isn’t about money, ‘cause they don’t have any. It’s about what they do have. Love.
Takes John a long while to get it, but it’ll sink in eventually, then he will act on love, himself8. How are You Presenting Insights through Profound Moments?
A. Action delivers insight
Action: During a disaster John doesn’t hesitate to dive into dangerous floodwaters to save a child from Lower City.
Insight: John must really cares for the children nowAction: Cyndi must pass for high society on her secret mission but can’t walk in stilettos. She complains that she can’t fight or run in them. She is told is an elite gala she will infiltrate, not a fight or a track meet. Complains she cant even walk in them. She has to practice walking in them (training montage)
Insight/intrique: Cyndi is definitely not high society or a spy, can she really do this mission?B. Conflict delivers insight
Conflict: when Cyndi ,mentions she has a lot of kid John looks sick
Insight: He hates children (actually he has pedophoba)
Conflict: Jocelyn looks shocked when John asks her if she thought about having kids
Insight: He’s warming up to the idea of having kids loves.C. Irony delivers insight
Irony: after calling Old Seattle a shit hole, Jocelyn why John never brought her for a date there for date
Insight: Jocelyn is warming up to Old Seattle and/or she want John to take her on more dates even if it’s to a shit hole. They are arranged to be married, so John has put zero effort in courting her, despite them already being intimate in the past
Irony: John teases Jocelyn about saying she wants to “keeping her vag nice and tight” she’s insulted by his joke when John asks about her actually birthing children but hits back “I’d have to for your sake”
Insight: Jocelyn #1 loves John, she #2 would like to have children the old fashioned way” with John or she’s at least thought about it.9. What are the Most Profound Lines of the Movie?
Really uncomfortable with trying to identify this on the page. I don’t think I’ve written them yet.
Maybe 1, when Cyndi defines true or real love, “when you can respond to a person’s genuine need and not expect anything in return, you truly love that person.
10. How Do You Leave Us With A Profound Ending?
A. Express the Profound Truth: John turn his back on the exploitative ways of his corporation in front of a room of elites
B. The Change: John takes over the corporation, helps change laws to bring the 2 societies together, builds a learning center for the children
C. Payoffs: John and Jocelyn manage to get engaged or married, Seattle is a stronger city overall, corporate structure is changing or charged, Cyndi is the “battle princess” of one city, Evie is exiled and plotting revenge (for the sequel)
D. Surprising: Jocelyn is pregnant (she refuses alcohol thru the movie)
E. Parting Image/Line: John and Jocelyn play with the kids-
This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Terrell Harris.
-
This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by
-
Terrell’s Builds Meaning with Dialogue
ASSIGNMENT 2
What I learned doing this assignment is how to take a phrase and match it against contrasting emotions.
Better late than never
John scolds Cyndi for being late (he’s an impatient guy)
Better late than never. (John’s criticism frustrates Cyndi)
when Cyndi surprises John at the gala (she’s energetic about surprising him)
when Cyndi shows up with John’s mom at the tribunal (Cyndi is optimistic)give it a shot
when John’s turns his nose up at a plain drink, like beer
(Cyndi is being funny, poking funny at John’s upper class ways)Cyndi asks John to babysit (John has pedophobia)
just give it shot (she is being critical of John’s phobia about children)Cyndi won’t kiss John but she offers John a sip of her drink via an indirect kiss
give it a shot (she’s being flirty)easy does it
John is aggressive about getting Cyndi into bed
(She’s disgusted)
John’s dance moves are sexual
(Cyndi is startled but dances with him)John begins to undress Cyndi
(she is flirty in a way that says don’t stop but go slow)-
This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Terrell Harris.
-
This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by
-
Terrell’s Height of the Emotion
What I learned doing this assignment is how to tweak scene structure for maximum dialogue effect. This was a real struggle.
ASSIGNMENT 1
1. Evie reminisces about her marriage: emotion(s): anger, jealously
John pleads with Evie to stop the attack on the Lower City
Through an emotional tirade she begins to talk about her marriage, her tone softens when she talks about the tough times but hardens again when she mentions
‘that tramp from the Lower City who seduced my husband.”
so you want to punish an entire population.
They’re all the same, I gave your father just 2 rules don’t bring another woman into our home, and don’t fuck up the money, do you know he did both. Unforgivable.2. John pleads with his mom to change the plan to wipe out Lower City. Emotion: fear
Out of options, John begs her.
I get it you hate the entire Lower City then do this for me?
I am doing this for you, out of love, for your own good, what you don’t have the heart to do.3. Is pain real? emotion(s): anger, sadness
Doc is prepping Cyndi for her undercover mission, she need to locate a missing woman.
The Doc confesses he’s speaking about his kidnapped wife.
Doc and Cyndi have a debate about whether pain is real or an illusion
You’ve never lost anyone so you get to pretend pain an illusion. what’s fake is your lofty position
I thought we had the right person for this mission but clearly we don’t
well I’m all you got4. Jocelyn threatens Cyndi. emotion(s): anger
Jocelyn confronts Cyndi about John
Cyndi insists that she has the wrong idea
taking offense Jocelyn tell Cyndi to know her place
You’re in no position to tell me what anything is like. But I am in a position to tell you this, know your place, and everything will be as it’s supposed to be.5. Doc’s wife decides is her time to die. emotion(s): sadness/happiness
doc’s wife had been merged with an AI
she can’t be saved without heavy cyborg modification
“if I can’t be fully human then my time is up. Don’t mourn me, celebrate my last moments as a human being and dying with dignity.”-
This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Terrell Harris.
-
This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Terrell Harris.
-
This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by
-
Terrell Delivers Irony!
What I learned doing this assignment is to create drama and insight from clashing viewpoints.
1. Evie gives John a history lesson about the corporation but gets sidetracked when she reminisces about tough times with her husband, though they were tough, we loved really loved each other. But things got better financially and that woman came into our lives.
Insight: love got us through tough times as things got better we drifted apart. Evie blames the other woman
2. Jocelyn follows John to the Lower City They argue over why John spends so much time there now.
Jocelyn rattles off everything things she hates, it’s dirty, stinky gloomy.
John ask what could establish with all the money in the world?
anything.
It’s be easy right?
But what if you had nothing
Nothing from Nothing is nothing.
That’s not what I see, these people have taken nothing and made something. Something binds them together. John senses it, but hasn’t quite figured it out yet.
Jocelyn looks around. You’re crazy.Insight: it’s love
3. In a fight to the death Cyndi saves the life of her opponent
her reasoning: killing opponent is more of hassle, their humiliation is a sweeter victoryinsight: Cyndi is compassionate, is it because she killed before?
Insight: Cyndi is compassionate on a high level.
Kenny is scolding Cyndi because he think she really may be falling for the rich corporation dude.
You don’t show a person love because they deserve it, you show then because they need it.
I just showed him a little love that’s all.4. Insight: Cyndi can ignore pain at will
Cyndi needs to get an painful injection in her eyes.
She insist on being awake through the procedure
The doctor advises against it
Pain an illusion that hides a true reality beyond this existence.
Why go through if you don’t have to?
no point in avoiding it, if it isn’t real
gets injections
your tolerance for physical pain is impressive
illusions Doc
what if it’s a pain of the heart?
Emotional pain is more intense cause you create it in your mind first, just ignore it
later after the procedure
the Doc shows Cyndi a photo
that’s my wife held captive by an evil corporation, I won’t just ignore her5. Insight: Cyndi is embarrassed by questions of a sexual nature
Cyndi brings a drunk John back to the temple/orphanage
A small child ask will you sleep with him?
Cyndi turns red
Where did you learn that
I heard the older girls say is good if you can sleep with a rich guy
no and that not true at all.
But we all sleep together and we’re still poor
oh you mean sleep
that’s what I said6. Evie tells security to throw Cyndi out.
Security bucks up to toss her out and Cyndi trashes them.
Happily from the ground, “We’re big fans and we get your autograph.”insight: despite the class separation, Upper City citizens like Cyndi; despite the class separation Cyndi is a really popular fighter among the Upper Citizens:
-
Delivers Insights Through Conflict
What I learned doing this assignment is conflict isn’t just for the sake of having conflict but for insights making conflict more poignant.
1. New way of showing love.
Misunderstanding and false accusation
Jocelyn confronts Cyndi about love, she wants the attention John is showing Cyndi.
She accuses her of pursuing and trying brainwashing John with her nice act.
Cyndi tells her they treat people with a little love and kindness here and you’re not used to that.
Jocelyn accuses her of being a violent thug after John’s money and warns her to stay away from John as there is no other reason for her “nice act” or is there?2. New way to deal with citizens from the Lower City
Argument, Love triangle (hidden), Power struggle
There a plan to wipe out Lower City, the corporation wants the resources and the people eliminated.
John wants to stop that plan since he’s gotten to know them a little
But Evie seems highly emotional about a simple means to an end
John digs for the truth but Evie’s prejudice against them is relentless (her husband had a child with a woman from Lower City).
John is passionate is his argument but Evie doesn’t budge.
John threatens to go over her head to the board members.
John storms out. Evie moves the plan up to much sooner3. New insight: love should come first
public embarrassment, plan goes wrong
John makes his public/staged proposal to Jocelyn at the elite function
Jocelyn turns him down
she makes her own speech that she’s decided love should come first, john just has to prove he really loves her.4. New insight: John doesn’t like kids because he has pedophobia
misunderstandingwhen the kids learn John will spend the night
A girl tells the other kids she overheard sleeping with a rich guy is a good
kids question why? Nobody knows, but the kids grab blankets and pillows and camp out near where john is passed out from drinking.
John awakens in the middle of the night surrounded by the snoozing children. He shrinks away from them and begins screaming so the kids wake up screaming too.
Cyndi awakens to diffuse the confusion.5. Cyndi’s best friend is a member of a hacker group
argument
All hackers have a tattoo visible under black light. Cyndi accidentally catches a glimpse of Kenny’s tattoo. She’s excited because the hacker group is famous in the lower City as a sort of community activist origination. Cyndi is hurt he never confided in her that he’s a member of Black Snow. Kenny had no choice it’s a “secret” hacker organization but they have been friends forever. Cyndi won’t excuse it, he should have told her. Kenny say he’ll make it up to her by introducing her to the head of Black Snow. The head of Black Snow has a covert mission she wants Cyndi to undertake.
-
This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Terrell Harris.
-
This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by
-
Turns Insights Into Action
Assignment 2
What I learned doing this assignment is to set up “a bridge” for characters to be able to change.
They stop for street food but John brags that he’s eaten in the finest restaurants in the world
Cyndi insists just try it
he does and loved it, insists that it would go great with the beer he drank earlier, very proud of his realization.
Locals laugh because that is how they typically enjoy the foodJohn shrinks away from kids, insisting that he doesn’t want any. “they’re gross” but ends up incidentally up around them anyway
Later questions Jocelyn about having kids, She’s shocked, “like the old fashioned way? Gross” (this is a Sci-Fi drama)
John justifies his new interest by saying he’ll need an heir for the company business
During a disaster John doesn’t hesitate to dive into floodwaters to save a child from Lower City.John and Jocelyn are arranged to be married
Jocelyn laughs when he asks if she loves him, asks what is wrong with you?
After secretly following John and Cyndi on a “date”, she gets jealous.
And she tries to answer John’s question again with a yes but she’s struggles to express it.Evie hates the people of the lower city.
John ask why do you hate them so much
have you ever had your heart smashed to bits, I don’t owe love to anyone who hurt me.
Isn’t that like drinking poison hoping someone else dies? John confesses he loves a women from Lower CityKatashi talks with his daughter about her arranged married, her duty is to the corporation first
she sees other couples in love, John does not treat her like that
she begins think she should be in love first
she is assured love will come later
she questions what if it does not, the company thrives with she miserable? She wants to come first. She rejects the staged proposal. -
Terrell’s Seabiscuit Analysis
What I learned doing this assignment is how to add action to increase the audience’s emotional involvement.
John can’t recite the poetry perfectly but it’s ok, cause he can put it into action perfectly and that’s the poetry.
What’s profound is how naturally talented red is
Charles goes down to Mexico to drown his sorrows in debauchery but gets his spirits raised by Marcela getting him to ride a horse
What’s profound is his love for horses is reignited appears to be just what he needed
Tom save a horse about to be shot and nurses it back to health. Later said you don’t throw a whole life away that’s banged up a little.
What’s profound is this is a job interview
Red meets Seabiscuit and feeds him an apple
When an animal that’s been abused, meets a human being that’s ready to love it, that is profound. At least for animal lovers. In this scene, it ‘s amplified cause Red know exactly how the animal feels.
Red is angry. so angry he throws the race, ignoring the advice Tom gave him.
It’s insightful because he’s really angry his parents abandoned him, putting that aside Red and Seabiscuit win their first race
Though he be little he is fierce – that’s Shakespeare
It’s profound cause it’s a reminder Red is well read and in his element of perfection as they hit a winning streak
Tom is angry Red hid his eye injury
It’s profound because Charles throws his philosophy back at him.
It’s better to break a man’s leg than his heart.
It’s profound because Red is willing to risk his health and Wolf understands that.
-
This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by Terrell Harris.
-
This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by
-
Terrell’s Living Metaphors
What I learned doing this assignment is how to adjust my character’s gradient so the audience can accept the change. A lot of plotholes are getting exposed in the process.
John orders a fancy expensive drink that’s not available
Cyndi says he’ll have a beer
John turns his nose up at it at first, and as the evening gets more social he begins to drink it.John tries to flex with his money but it’s not accepted, he is treated like family. “my family doesn’t treat anyone like this”
Whispers to Cyndi “aren’t these people poor.”
Cyndi says they just want to show you some love, it’s the culture down here
John is confused
Cyndi explains their world isn’t about money, ‘cause they don’t have any. It’s about what they do have. Love.
Takes John a long while to get it but it’ll sink in eventually, then he will act on love, himselfJohn ask if can spar Cyndi, says he trains a little bit.
Cyndi beats the crap out of him.
John says I thought you would take it easy, you’re the champ after all.
John training partners let him win all the time.
Cyndi, “I don’t give away wins, you got earn that from meCyndi is given an expensive pair of platinum stilettos with diamond straps as part of her disguise
She complains that she can’t fight or run in them
she is told is an elite gala she will infiltrate, not a fight or a track meet.
Complains she cant even walk in them
She has to practice walking in them (training montage)Jocelyn corners Cyndi
Ask since she fights on the bagua circle if she’s familiar with I-Ching hexagram 54 and for her to know her place
Cyndi later finds out it’s a symbol of a lowly concubine
Jocelyn is ok with John indiscretions as long as Cyndi knows her place
Cyndi insists it not like that but Jocelyn tells Cyndi she is in her world now, you don’t tell me how something is I tell you -
Terrell’s Counterexamples
What I learned doing this assignment is how to write scenes with a deeper purpose and how counterexamples can make writing fun and not a chore, even though this was pretty hard. Once set up the scene is not a bear to write.
COUNTEREXAMPLE
John visits the lower city club and orders an expensive drink, of course they don’t have the ingredients so they can’t make it, so Cindy says he’ll just have a beer.John could have a hissy fit or drink the beer but complain about it
COUNTEREXAMPLE
John expects Cyndi to be impressed by the upper city. She is not.
How bad Lower City is are just lies make up to make you feel better about your part of the city.John get flustered that his “mac game” isn’t working on Cyndi
Challenges
Eva, CEO and John’s stepmom has a hardline against people from the Lower City, she hates them. John who has warmed up to them tries to convince her otherwise.
1. What if it could be politically advantageous?
2. What if we merged the two societies
3. Many of the rumors about them aren’t true, I’ve been there.
4. What if we invested in the Lower City?
5. There are harder to break than we thoughtEva sticks to her guns, it’s a fail for john. He goes behind her back
Challenges
John cheers for the fighter from the Lower City. His fiance asked him why.
1. She undefeated
2. She’s cute
3. Wants to meet her.
4. So what if she Lower City, she’s an awesome fighter.
5. I have a crush on her (secret)They have a fight.
COUNTEREXAMPLE
Jocelyn refuses to descend into the Lower City.
1. It’s not safe
2. The people are gross
3. It’s dirty, stinky and nasty
4. The lower City girl just beat their fighter
5. Peer pressure – no one else will gojohn goes by himself and spends the night in the Lower city.
Challenges
John questions an Upper City DJ he sees in the Lower City and asks why work down here? Isn’t the Upper City better?
1. Can DJ the way she wants to
2. She can be herself among these people
3. Just like “down there” better
4. I can breath, relax and have fun.
5. Me having fun makes for a better set
6.
John respects her , so considers her answers carefully, this sways him a little.Challenges
Cyndi is approached with a plan to spy on the elites
can you get someone else?
1. I won’t fit in
2. is espionage the only way?
3. I’ll get caught
4. I suck at spying
5. Don’t nano injections (hitech disguise)Cyndi reluctantly agrees to spy.
-
This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by Terrell Harris.
-
This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by
-
Terrell’s Old Ways Challenge Chart
Assignment 2
What I learned doing this assignment is I think I found some new subtext for my characters.
Old Ways: the poor don’t matter for the rich and powerful
Challenge(s): the poor do matter, if they didn’t there wouldn’t such an effort to oppress them
Old Ways: don’t waste time on people who are not politically viable
Challenge(s): invest in making them viable
Old Ways: laws aren’t for the rich but for the poor
Challenge(s): laws should apply equally to everyone
Old Ways: we built a break away society and technology for those who could afford it
Challenge(s): technology should uplift society as a whole
Old Ways: the corporation comes first
Challenge(s): the corporation benefits more if we serve the people
Old Ways: the poor are responsible for most of the crime
Challenge(s): white collar crimes are rampant among the rich, my own family backstabs constantly
Old Ways: can’t be much of life
Challenge(s): life in the lower City can be very fulling, we are not jealous of you way of life
Old Ways: this is the system, you’ve benefited from it your whole life
Challenge(s): I just want to share that good fortune, make things a little more balanced
Old Ways: why should I feel bad being privileged. I enjoy it.
Challenge(s): because it becomes enjoyable if you compare yourself to someone who has less than you
-
ASSIGNMENT 1
Terrell’s 12 Angry Men Analysis
What I learned doing this assignment is, the old ways are really layered in there, lots of work to challenge them. This stuff was all over my screenplay. I just needed to shine a spotlight on them.
Old Ways: The judge is extremely casual, he looks bored, in telling the jurors about their “grave” responsibility,
Challenge(s): empathy, one vote not guilt, sending a kid to die, The motive is weak
Old Ways: open and shut case
Challenge(s): talking about somebody’s life is worth talking about
Old Ways: prejudice against kids, called dad “sir”, culture of violence, judged based on past
Challenge(s): sending a kid to die? Empathy, the accused point of view
Old Ways: Witnesses present all the evidence you need.
Challenge(s): What if they’re wrong
Old Ways: Just want this over, Not caring, “had enough, voting not guilty”
Challenge(s): too early for a hung jury, vote because you believe he’s not guilty, give til 7 p.m.
Old Ways: Not looking beneath the surface, easier to believe “the facts”, eye witness
Challenge(s): similar “unique” knife, high levels of observation, recreation of witness testimony, why believe the woman
Old Ways: Assuming the evidence is not questionable
Challenge(s): prosecution carries the burden of proof, constitution supports the accused
Old Ways: Assuming the Defense Attorney did his job,
Challenge(s): what if the Defense Attorney is stupid or lazy or doesn’t want to look bad, could they be wrong
Old Ways: Assuming the case is completely logical
Challenge(s): the process is not an exact science
Old Ways: disassociation from the task at hand
Challenge(s) keep jurors focused on case
Old Ways: slums are breeding grounds for criminals, Prejudice against “them” and those”, multiple jabs at immigrants
Challenge(s): Jack Klugman takes offense at the prejudice against the poor
Old Ways: don’t want to see the evidence again
Challenge(s): gentleman has a right to exhibits in evidence
-
Terrell’s Profound Ending
What I learned doing this assignment is this was the toughest assignment so far. The audience really need to be able to relate to the setups, It’s difficult to tell if the set ups really work, so many times I’ll see what I consider a sappy ending or stupid ending cause the set up don’t work for me. So this makes me nervous.
1. What is your Profound Truth and how will it be delivered powerfully in your ending?
Proverbs 16:19 It is better to be of a lowly spirit with the poor than to divide the spoil with the proud.
2. How do your lead characters (Change Agent and Transformable Characters) come to an end in a way that represents the completed change?
They settle into to the lower City, that was set to be destroyed. John’s corporation promises to invest.3. What are the setup/payoffs that complete in the end of this movie, giving it deep meaning?
(1) John’s visit and liked it down there. Moved there?
(2) the people are nice and unpretentious, despite being poor
(3) the dangers are exaggerated
(4) upper citizens are quietly visiting
(5) Joyce decides to see the appeal for herself, after swearing to never go there. Her transformation.
(6) john’s real mom confesses her backstory4. How are you designing it to have us see an inevitable ending and then making it surprising when it happens?
(1) John loves the Upper City and will protect it at all cost
(2) step moms venomously defend the corporation’s path of development, John agrees and sees her points.
(3) John builds an orphanage in the upper city.5. What is the Parting Image/Line that leaves us with the Profound Truth in our minds?
John playing with the kids in the lower city. -
Terrell’s Connection with Audience
What I learned doing this assignment is how to get the audience to relate to my characters.
Characters to intentionally connect with audience
John
A. Relatability – likes to have a good time, outgoing
B. Intrigue – zero
C. Empathy – being forced to do something he doesn’t really want to do
D. Likability partyboy, handsome guyCyndi
A. Relatability – doesn’t care really for the ultra rich
B. Intrigue – she’s recruited to as a spy
C. Empathy – zero
D. Likability – she’s tough, compassionate, loves kids, cute, athleticJoyce
A. Relatability – has integrity
B. Intrigue – zero
C. Empathy- she’s put up with a cheating boyfriend (sort of), has her pride
D. Likability has integrityEva (step mom)
A. reliability – zero
B. she really hates people from the Lower City.
C. Empathy – probably zero
D. Likability – zero, she’s the closest to being the villain, so no likability -
Terrell’s Transformational Structure
What I learned doing this assignment is how to make unlikable characters likable, how to fill plot holes with gradients, how to save a floundering second act.
A corporate rich kid must find a new way of operating, for himself and the mega corporation he will inherit to save the people he’s grown attached that his corporation is preparing to eradicate.
Change agent is Cyndi Transformational character are John and JoyceAct I – Status Quo and Call to Adventure
The setting is a cyberpunk city with two distinct societies.
John and his elite entourage visit the underground to watch a death-match. John is infatuated with the winner (Cyndi) and requests a meeting. He is blown off so he ventures deeper into the underworld so find her, when he and his bodyguard are followed by unknown assailants. After she saves him from a kidnapping he is invited to join them for an after party.
Despite his elite status he enjoys themselves with these people from the lower class and ends up getting drunk and staying overnight.
John’s company has plans to eliminate the underworld population through a seemingly natural disaster to reclaim the land. After his experience, John begins to have second thoughts and tried to alter the plans.
Change Agent: Cyndi
Transformational Character: John
Old Ways: elitist, self importance, privileged
The Vision: John asks someone to take a photo of him partying with The Champ and her friends – this photo eventually hits social media and mainstream media
Challenge: there is a massive social-economics gap between the upper and lower societies
Weakness: prejudice, caste system, economic slaveryACT 2
Locked Into ConflictJohn makes a plea to board and his step mom to not destroy the slum area.
Old Ways: crush those beneath you, take what you want
Challenge: convince the other elites it’s a mistake to destroy lower city, citizens are worth saving.
Weakness: lack of compassion, under estimate disdain for the poor, not understanding hidden motivation, weak argumentHero Tries to Solve Problem – But Fails.
John brings Cyndi to the Upper City to serve as his new bodyguard. Joyce follows them on their “date” getting more and more jealous as she observes them and causes a commotion.
Cyndi feel its unnecessary to guard him in the Upper City, she do when he visit the lower city, but she doesn’t want to guard him in the upper city.
He tries to appeal to board members separately to win them over.
Change Agent: Cyndi is largely unimpressed with the Upper City
Transformational characters: John and Joyce
Emotional Gradient: John and Joyce both want the love wants the love Cyndi seems to get naturally
Old Ways: fear, john wants an image change without really changing
New Ways: love
Emotional gradient:
John comments that the people love Cyndi in the Lower City and upper City the people don’t love me the fear me,
Challenge: convince Cyndi to work in the Upper City. convince member of the boards not to destroy The Lower City
Weaknesses: Jealously, womanizer, worried about image, feared not lovedHero Forms a New Plan
Joyce complains to John’s step mom about Cyndi they comfort him.
John decides to go head to head with his step mom, who wields the most influence. He loses.
John argues with fiance Joyce
step mother switches plan behind John’s back
old ways: what’s love got to with it, just do what your told to do, it’s for the company
Challenge: telling the truth, going with status quo,
Weakness: telling what people want to hear, against statute quo,lying
new ways: win the approval of the people, inclusiveMIDPOINT:
Cyndi infiltrates elite function
Joyce confronts Cyndi
Cyndi confronts John
step mom announces plan to destroy lower city
John takes lead to counter plan to destroy lower cityold ways: elites plotting behind closed doors
new ways: John tells troops stand down
challenge: telling Cyndi the truthweakness: it’s too late, step mom changed plan
Mini–‐Movie 5 – Hero Retreats & The Antagonism Prevails
The dam is destroyed
Cyndi leaves to rescue her children
John chases after her
The lower City is floodedOld ways: the plan to oust the citizens it in effect
New ways: John sides against the corporationChallenge: rescue citizens, save drowning child, win Cyndi back
MM6 – Hero’s Bigger, Better Plan!
Cyndi and John race to save who they can.
Joyce chases after John? Save til next MM
Troops are preventing the evacuation
John rescues a drowning kidnapped
John gets troops to stand downOld Ways: Troops are prevent rescue
New ways: John sides with the people fighting the troops
Challenge: get troops to stand down, Cyndi is still mad at himAct 3
MM7 – Crisis & Climax
troop stand down
citizens are rescued
with evidenced the corporation is brought before a tribunal
John promises new direction and delivers on promises
Joyce confronts John
Joyce confronts Cyndiold ways: John and Joyce are poised to marry
New ways: marriage is called off last minute
Transformational Change: Joycechallenge: cyndi is still mad at John
MM8 – The hero triumphs. Metamorphosis complete. New World. Epilogue.
Cyndi and john are a couple.
Emotional gradient: Cyndi loves John-
This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by Terrell Harris.
-
This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by
-
Terrell’s Three Gradients
What I learned doing this assignment is I thought I had a decent second act but this definitely punches up some things that needed work. It naturally highlights other areas that needs work.
The lead character is excited to watch a popular underground fighter (the change agent) in a fight to the death. He’s nearly kidnapped and ends up spend the night with the change agent.
A. Excitement
B. Down to lower Seattle to watch underground fight. Spends the evening there with Cyndi and her friends. Enjoys himself despite not quite fitting in.
C. Challenge(s): struggles to fit in Weakness: >Callous and over self confident
A. Hope
Makes pleas to board or him step mom to not destroy the slum area.
shallow or weak argument.
A. discouragement<
B. Plea is rejected heartlessly
C. Challenge(s): Battle of wills Weakness(s) loses, feeling insecure for the first time
A. Courage
B. Goes against orders in front a crowd of elites.
C:Challenge(s) flips script at last moment, tries to gain allies before big event, going against status quo
A. Triumph or loss
B. stops destruction of city, save lives or the city is destroyed
C. Challenge(s): confesses he knew about the plan all along. Weakness(s):the woman he loves hates him now.
Can he win her back and make up for a grand mistake.
-
This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by Terrell Harris. Reason: code got posted
-
This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by
-
Terrell’s Analysis of Dead Poet Society – assignment 4B
What is the change this movie is about? What is the Transformational Journey of this movie?
Seizing the day, avoiding the pitfalls of life, thinking for yourself, individualism, finding your passion
Lead characters:
Who is the Change Agent (the one causing the change) and what makes this the right character to cause the change? John Keating, he’s a teacher, that give him influence for teenagers that’s especially empowering because teenagers are full of rebellion
Who is the Transformable Character (the one who makes the change) and what makes them the right character to deliver this profound journey? The English class, in particular Todd Anderson and Neil Perry
What is the Oppression? Primarily the boarding school administration, but also expectations placed upon us by society, parents, teachers all in cahoots together.
How are we lured into the profound journey? What causes us to connect with this story?
It’s when Keating begins to teach, he’s not an ordinary teacher and is considered unorthodox.
Looking at the character(s) who are changed the most, what is the profound journey? From “old ways” to “new way of being.” Identify their old way: Identify their new way at the conclusion:
What is the gradient the change? What steps did the Transformational Character go through as they were changing?
From kinda fun rebelliousness to throwing off mental shackles, to direct confrontation with status quo then we get a variety change at the end from siding with the status quo to conforming, to dying for your beliefs, truly for your freedom
How is the “old way” challenged? What beliefs are challenged that cause a main character to shift their perspective…and make the change?
Inner demons and fears are ignored, battle with yourself to direct confrontation with the external
What are the most profound moments of the movie?
Keating morbid speech in the hallway
Tearing pages out the text book
Standing on the desk to get a different perspective
Sneaking off campus late at night to reestablishing the Dead Poet Society
When Neil decides to try out for Shakespeare as he rallies against his father’s for the first time wishes even as Todd tries to talk him out of going against his father.
Ball kicking while quoting lines of poetry
When Neil gets the part
The Sweaty-tooth madman
When Knox calls Chris
Flying desk set
when Neil kills himself
when the students stand on their desks
What are the most profound lines of the movie?
Many lines of classic poetry aside…
Practically almost all of Robin William’s dialogue is profound
Carpe diem
O Captain! My Captain!
Boys, you must strive to find your own voice. Because the longer you wait to begin, the less likely you are to find it at all. Thoreau said, “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.” Don’t be resigned to that. Break out!
Free thinkers at 17?
I always thought the idea of education was to learn to think for yourself.
Because we’re food for worms, lads!
…these boys are now fertilizing daffodils
nothing’s impossible.
Being you mean you gotta do something not just say you’re in
All to struggle against great odds, to be enemies undaunted, etc.
How does the ending payoff the setups of this movie?
The ending pays off through the various actions of the students
1. siding with the system, 2.conformity, 3. continued rebellion, and 4. death.
What is the Profound Truth of this movie?
Know thyself and be true to thyself
-
Terrell’s Lead Characters
What I learned doing this assignment is that my screenplay had some of these elements but lacked many others exposing the gaps. It makes the feedback I received really make sense
John grew up extremely privileged in high society. He’s used to getting his way.
Pressured into an arranged marriage for a corporate merger, he is cool with it until begins to fall for an underground fighter as his company prepares to makes moves that will to destroy her home and kill her friends.
The oppression is his company’s Modus operandi of stepping on anyone but especially the lower class to get thing done, his mother in-law currently runs the company.
Perhaps Joyce, John fiance could be the betraying character, she’s just wants John and the comfort of the lifestyle that affords her, so she could go along with that understanding, until she finds out about the other woman.
-
Terrell’s Transformational Journey
What I learned doing this assignment is a pathway to an endearing character from a “meh’ character who suddenly became the main character when the main character became the agent of change.
A corporate rich kid must find a new way of being for himself and the mega corporation he will inherit
1. To save the slums his corporation is preparing to eradicate for corporate gains2. To save the people he’s grown attached outside his social sphere that his corporation is preparing to eradicate for corporate and political gains
John’s old ways
Always gets what he wants
All is sacrificed for the company
All others are not in my social class are beneath me
Playboy
Entitled
If you throw money at it, solves all problems
Hoarding money is the best thing to do with itfamily above all else
does not like kids
——————
John’s new ways
Self sacrificing
Defender of the weak
Wants to help the less fortunate
People before the companyPhilanthropist
truth and integrity above all else
kids are ok
-
What I learned doing this assignment is I had overvalued the entertainment aspect of my screenplay and left the profound truth aspect kinda bankrupt. My main character is actually the change agent and I don’t really like the main character now. Gonna have to figure how to make him endearing to the audience.
What is your profound truth?
Proverbs 16:19 It is better to be of a lowly spirit with the poor than to divide the spoil with the proud.
What is the change your movie will cause with an audience?
Being humble is more valuable than having riches
What is your Entertainment Vehicle that you will tell this story through?
Cinderella Fairy Tale elements in a cyberpunk world
-
What is the CHANGE this movie is about? What is the Transformational Journey of this movie?
Phil goes from an unlovable narcissist to almost Buddha or Jesus
or from unhappy to happy.
Lead characters:
Who is the Change Agent (the one causing the change) and what makes this the right character to cause the change?
Rita pushes Phil’s cynical buttons, she’s everything Phil will grow to be
Who is the Transformable Character (the one who makes the change) and what makes them the right character to deliver this profound journey?
Phil hates his Groundhog day assignment in Punxsutawney.
What is the Oppression?
The repeating Groundhog Day or Phil’s own ego.
How are we lured into the profound journey? What causes us to connect with this story?
When Phil wakes up and notices it’s seemingly Groundhog Day again.
We wonder what’s going on, did we cross over to fantasy or sci-fi? But that question changes to how will Phil change.
Looking at the character(s) who are changed the most, what is the profound journey? From “old ways” to “new way of being.” Identify their old way: Identify their new way at the conclusion:
Phil basically kill his ego. He has to kill it over and over. From cynical, sarcastic narcissistic jerk to kind, caring and lovable
What is the gradient the change? What steps did the Transformational Character go through as they were changing?
Phil falls in love with Rita almost immediately, even though he doesn’t really like her
Seeing the glass half empty at first he takes advantage of the townspeople
His advances to Rita fail, hitting rock bottom he attempts suicide, but nothing works
Switches to the glass have full approach he becomes kind, caring and the most loved guy in town and coincidentally he becomes happy and Rita finally falls for him.
The highs (sentimentality) and the lows (cynicism) are extreme
How is the “old way” challenged? What beliefs are challenged that cause a main character to shift their perspective…and make the change?
The believe that you have manipulate people to get what you want.
He can’t get Rita to sleep with him
What are the most profound moments of the movie?
When Phil breaks the pencil and checks it in the morning, it’s not broken
Phil confesses to Rita that’s he’s reliving the same day
Phil confesses his love to Rita (while she’s sleeping).
We could do whatever we want.
Chicken with a train. I’m not gonna live by their rules anymore.
After a night of mayhem Phil wake up with no consequences from the night before.
Phil’s action becomes more outlandish as he starts having fun with the repeating day.
Phil calls Nancy Rita twice while they are making out.
Phil’s and Rita’s “date”
As Phil uses the repeating day to get close to Rita as he manufactures a relationship to sleep with her that becomes real for Phil.
They kiss at the halfway point, but Phil pushes too hard and repeatedly offends Rita
Phil reaches the end of his rope and kidnaps Phil the Groundhog.
The groundhog is driving
Phil can’t kill himself, he is truly trapped.
Phil shows Rita his “powers.” She begins to believe.
Phil has completely changed, taking on Rita’s traits.
Rita bids on Phil
What are the most profound lines of the movie?
You have to take the big chances.
What if there is no tomorrow, there wasn’t one today.
What would you do if you were stuck in one place where everyday was exactly the same and nothing you did mattered.
I don’t worry about anything, anymore.
I am a god, I’m not the God, I don’t think
I think you’re the kindest, sweetest, prettiest person I’ve ever met in my life. I’ve never seen anyone that’s nicer to people than you are. The first time I saw you… something happened to me. I never told you but… I knew that I wanted to hold you as hard as I could. I don’t deserve someone like you. But if I ever could, I swear I would love you for the rest of my life.
You like boats, but not the ocean. You go to a lake in the summer with your family up in the mountains. There’s a long wooden dock and a boathouse with boards missing from the roof, and a place you used to crawl underneath to be alone. You’re a sucker for French poetry and rhinestones. You’re very generous. You’re kind to strangers and children, and when you stand in the snow you look like an angel.
Well maybe the *real* God uses tricks, you know? Maybe He’s not omnipotent. He’s just been around so long He knows everything.
I killed myself so many times I don’t even exist anymore.
No matter what happens tomorrow or for the rest of my life, I’m happy now because I love you.
I think I’m happy too better than “I love you too”
I think people place too much emphasis on their careers.
I guess I want what everybody wants. You know, career, love, marriage, children.
The wretch, concentred all in self, living, shall forfeit fair renown, and doubly dying, shall go down, to the vile dust from whence he sprung – unwept, unhonored, and unsung. Sir Walter Scott.
Let’s live here, we’ll rent to start (he hated this place at the beginning)
How does the ending payoff the setups of this movie?
Rita falls in love with Phil, he’s actually worthy of her now
Phil is no longer a cynical, sarcastic jerk
Phil wakes up with Rita and we feel the relief of the next day after a lot of tension
What is the Profound Truth of this movie?
The glass that’s half full beats half empty
Kindness and selflessness is more valuable then cynicism and narcissism
The recipe for happiness is kindness and selflessness
-
My name is Terrell Harris. Nicknames Tashi or just T.
I’ve written 3 feature length scripts.
I received feedback from a contest. Writers are given a chance to resubmit after getting feedback. The profound class seemed a match for the feedback I was given, so the timing was perfect.
I had a major stroke in 2016 that I’m still covering from. The last script I wrote I treated like brain therapy and I managed to complete it, after learning how to spell again starting over with 3 letter words. I type with one hand and dictation software. So if my English is a little wonky, please forgive me.
-
I Terrell Harris, agree to the terms of this release form.”
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
-
This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by Terrell Harris.
-
This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by