[Terry Drayer]

Subject line: Terry Drayer's Rom Com Project
“What I learned doing this assignment is…Romance can be a slow burn and Comedy doesn't have to be in your face to be funny. Relationships are hard and the best way to deal with them is with humor, no matter what form that takes.
So many ideas, so little time…

TITLE: DEAR ME
Two People Who Belong Together: Pamela Barker and Larkin Stuart were best friends as kids. They grew up together, lived next door to each other, hopped the fence between their parents’ properties. Even raised and showed the same breed of dog and won their respective categories together.

How Are They Separated: Their parents hated each other because of something that happened between the Barkers and the Stuarts generations ago. Their fathers perpetuated that feud and instilled a lifelong mistrust as the kids grew older.

What Forces Them Together: Larkin is Pamela’s brother’s best friend, and the brother and his wife play matchmaker every chance they get. They still show their dogs in the same competitions, and as Pamela’s ambitions shift, she needs Larkin’s help to make her Rescue Center idea a reality.

Issues to be Resolved: Why are they expected to hate each other and what can they do about it?

On their Journey of Love: Pamela finds cassette tapes her grandmother recorded that begin to unravel the feud. She asks Larkin for help with her new project, then discovers the real reason the families kept apart all those years.

Final Concept: In order to turn her breeding operation into a rescue without losing access to her family trust, a reluctant 4th-generation dog breeder must find a way to make amends with her handsome neighbor (a rival breeder) by solving the mystery of a generations-long feud between their families.

The Comedy comes from: Sharp banter between Pamela and Larkin, and Pamela’s brother’s pretense of an allergy to dogs.

TITLE: LOVE ON THE ROCKS
Two People Who Belong Together: Carla Maddox is still recovering from a life-altering climbing accident when she meets Tom (recently divorced) and his 12-year-old daughter, Abigail. Abigail knows her dad will do anything to make her happy and challenges him to a climbing competition. Tom is terrified of heights, and desperately needs Carla’s help just to take the first step.

How Are They Separated: Tom needs to conquer his fear and learn to climb. Carla lost not only her leg when she fell, but also her trust in the man she thought was going to propose when they got to the top of the climb.

What Forces Them Together: Tom’s 12-year-old is adamant that she’s going to be in the climbing competition with or without them.

Issues to be Resolved: Carla is unsure if Tom will accept her as she is since her accident. Tom’s ex-wife sees the climbing stunt as child endangerment and threatens to change their custody agreement.

On their Journey of Love: As Carla helps Tom and Abigail prepare for their climb, she regains both her love of the sport and her trust in another man.

Final Concept: A professional rock climber with an artificial leg teaches children to climb and overcomes her newfound fear of heights while training a father/daughter team for a climbing competition.

The Comedy comes from: Abigail’s relationship with her dad, and Carla’s boss and his husband who own the climbing studio and protect Carla like she was their baby sister.

TITLE: A SANDMAN FOR CHRISTMAS
Two People Who Belong Together: Nick delivers a runaway in a snow suit to the only person he knows who just got company from up north. Local artist Ilsa Axelrod (aka, Axe) encourages her grieving sister-in-law, Melanie, to accept Nick’s offer to show her and her girls around town, because as the local cop, he knows all the best spots to get into trouble.

How Are They Separated: Melanie won’t be happy until her girls have accepted their new life in Florida. Nick has an ex-girlfriend who won’t leave him alone.

What forces them together: Trying to keep the girls occupied as they approach their first Christmas without their dad.

Issues to be Resolved: She lost her husband, and her daughters are miserable at the prospect of Christmas without snow. Nick is getting tired of chasing the runaway.

On their Journey of Love: Nick does his best to show Melanie and her girls just how fun a small Florida town at Christmas time can be.

Concept: After her husband’s death, a woman and her two daughters find love and adventure in a small Florida beach town with the help of the town’s local cop.

The Comedy comes from: Axe – the eccentric artist sister-in-law who does everything in her power to get Melanie and Nick together while she plays Pied Piper to guide the girls in and out of harmless trouble.

• This reply was modified 10 months ago by  Terry Drayer.

[Terry Drayer]

Terry Drayer
I agree to the terms of the following release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

[Terry Drayer]

Hi, all. I’m Terry Drayer.
I’ve written 6 screenplays in various genres, 3 murder mystery novels and many, many episodes for a medical talk show I used to produce.
One of the 6 screenplays is a romcom I hope to tighten for marketing, and I have several romcom outlines I’d like to complete with the guidance of these lessons.
I am an experimental gardener with a pineapple plantation in the front yard, a coffee plantation in the back yard and 70 orchid plants, a vegetable garden and a hydroponic salad greens tower in between.

[Terry Drayer]

Terry Drayer’s Transformational Events

What I learned doing this assignment is that establishing the character’s transformation events brings the story into greater focus and fills some of the holes in the plot.

Start with the Character Arc and the list of Old Ways and New Ways.

· Old Ways

· Obedient child who feels she has no choice or control of her own life.

· Her compliance is based on fear.

· Desperate to be rescued but losing hope

· New Way

· Driven to escape and survive on her own.

· Learns she’s more capable than she imagined.

· Determined to survive her captors and the mountains she climbs.

Make a list of 6 – 8 changes or steps that need to happen for that character to go from who they are in the beginning (Old Ways) to who they are in the ending (New Ways).

· Acceptance of her new situation

· Disbelief that her father is not her protector.

· Obedience born out of fear of her new masters.

· Makes multiple attempts to escape, but doesn’t know how.

· Disguises her fear as compliance to gain the brothers’ trust.

· Uses her knowledge and skills to save herself.

· Ultimately gains her freedom and triumphs over her captors and the mountains.

Brainstorm dramatic events or tests that could cause those changes for the character.

Sabreena is sold into a marriage and has no choice in
the matter

She tries to enlist the help of others, but everyone is
afraid of her new “husband”

After several failed attempts at escape, her own father
threatens to kill her if she runs away again

After the failed escape attempts, Sabreena uses subservience
to hide her real intent

She convinces the brothers that she needs things for
her upcoming wedding and is allowed to venture into the mountains with another
village woman

Using her knowledge of healing plants she creates a
sleeping draught tea and escapes from the village woman.

In the mountains, Sabreena sees the younger brother
paying the men he hired to kill his father.

Meeting the climbers who agree to help her, she is
captured again when the younger brother murders one of the climbers.

She saves the older brother’s life when the younger
brother poisons him.

She knows the only way to save herself is to kill the
younger brother.

When the older brother gives her a choice in her
future, she chooses freedom over his promise of safety and protection

[Terry Drayer]

Terry Drayer’s Transformational Structure

What I learned doing this assignment is that, while still not perfect, the story is coming together nicely.

Create a first draft of your 4 Act Transformational Structure.

1. Give us the following:

· Concept
A 12-year-old girl escapes from the marriage into which she has been sold, to survive alone in the Atlas Mountains.

· Main Conflict
Yousef, the younger son of the tribal chief wants everything his father has, including Sabreena. In a culture where women are to blame, even in cases of rape, Sabreena must protect herself at all costs.

· Old Ways

· Obedient child who feels she has no choice or control of her own life.

· Her compliance is based on fear.

· Desperate to be rescued but losing hope

· New Way

· Driven to escape and survive on her own.

· Learns she’s more capable than she imagined.

· Determined to survive her captors and the mountains she climbs.

2. Fill in each of these with the answers you have right now.

Act 1:

• Opening

Sabreena works around the hut when her father and brothers come in for
their mid-day meal. There is only enough food for three, so she is sent to fetch water while her brothers eat.

• Inciting Incident

When Sabreena returns from the village well, her father is counting money and the tribal chief takes her away.

• Turning Point

She realizes what just happened and runs back to the house, pleading. Her father goes into the hut and closes the door. The brothers look out the window but offer no help.

Act 2:

• New plan

Sabreena makes several attempts to escape and gets caught every time.

• Plan in action

She pleads with an old friend of her mother’s to take her in, but the woman fears for her own family’s safety if she does so. Sabreena returns to her father’s house, begs him to take her back. Her father threatens to kill her himself if she runs away again. Back in the chief’s house, she tries to stay out of sight of her new masters, but it seems they are everywhere, always watching her. She’s terrified.

• Midpoint Turning Point

The tribal chief prepares to leave town. He threatens to put her in chains “to ensure her safety” unless she agrees not to attempt escape again. He expects to be gone three days, and the “marriage” he paid for will happen when he returns. He tells his sons to watch her, not realizing the plan his younger son, Yousef, has already set in motion. Sabreena is alone in the world and at the mercy of her “husband’s” sons.

Act 3:

• Rethink everything

Protecting herself from Yousef’s unwanted attentions, Sabreena wraps her body in whatever cloth she can find no matter how uncomfortable. She accepts every task with quiet obedience, while she keeps careful watch of the brothers comings and goings.

• New plan

Sabreena convinces the brothers that if she is to be married in 3 days, she needs to go into the hills to find the herbs and flowers she needs for her ritual bath. The brother’s assign a woman from the village to accompany her. Sabreena uses her mother’s knowledge of plants to put the woman to sleep as they sit by a stream. As she slips away, she spots Yousef paying a group of men and taking his father’s bloody robe from them as proof of his death.

• Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift

In the hills, Sabreena meets a group of climbers, and they agree to help her escape. But Yousef tracks her down and shoves one of the climbers off the mountain to his death. He drags Sabreena back to the village in chains.

Act 4:

• Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict

Yousef, after successfully ridding himself of his father, now poisons his brother to be rid of him, too. Sabreena recognizes the sickness and offers to save him if Yousef will spare her life. Her efforts seem to be too late and the older brother dies. In despair, Sabreena agrees to go through with the sham marriage to Yousef.

• Resolution

During the marriage ceremony, Sabreena pours tea and offers it to Yousef. As the poison takes effect, Yousef lunges at Sabreena. When his older brother comes in, wearing his father’s bloody robe, Yousef knows he has failed and dies. The older brother releases Sabreena. He offers her a new life with him, or an opportunity to leave the village forever.

As Sabreena ponders her choices, she envisions herself on a mountain top staring out at the vastness of the world around her.

[Terry Drayer]

Terry Drayer’s Character Interviews

What I learned doing this assignment is that as she speaks, Sabreena is trusting me to tell her story, while Yousef is still keeping his secrets to himself.

Sabreena’s story

I am 12 years old. I live in the Atlas Mountains with my father, Ezzine and my two brothers, Arif and Radi

My mother was killed when I was 8. People called her a witch when one of the children she was trying to heal died.

My parents met when my mother was sold into marriage to a wealthy businessman by her own family. My father was the man’s eldest son. He was kind to her, and they fell in love. When the businessman died, as heir, my father was permitted to claim her as his own property. But as an educated man, he treated her as an equal and their marriage was mostly a good one.

The accusations and eventual murder of my mother brought shame and ruin to my family. My father’s heart turned cold and when the opportunity to rid himself of me came, he was only too happy to do so.

Times were hard. We worked in the fields as long as there was light, but it was never enough. Then hyenas ate the goats we depended on for meat and milk. When there was nothing left, my father made a deal with the village chief, a cruel and bitter man with two sons who were even worse. The man paid my father a year’s wages for me. They called it a marriage bond, but I am nothing more than a slave to the whims of these men.

My name means endurance and patience. I believe my mother saw a fate for me similar to her own. Perhaps she hoped that in time, I would find a way to escape that fate. To do that will take all the patience and endurance she granted me.

To survive I must release the fear of my new masters. I must hold on to the memory of happiness, so I recognize it when I see it again.

I have always felt with all my heart that my mother’s death was my fault.

I learned my mother’s healing skills, practicing them on my brothers and on the lambs when they stumbled on our rocky hillsides. With patience I will wait and watch. With endurance I will survive any hardships that befall me.

My new masters do not think me clever enough to escape. But the mountains are my friends and will hide and protect me when the time comes.

I think only of escape.

Role in the story: As the youngest child of a poor farming family, Sabreena is sold into marriage to the village chief who has two sons of his own.

Age range and Description: 12 or 13, small, shy and terrified of her new “husband” and his youngest son.

Internal Journey: from weak and afraid to strong and determined

External Journey: from being an obedient child to becoming a fiercely independent girl who faces her fears and gains control of her own fate

Motivation: to escape a life of servitude to her husband and the brutality of his son

Wound: her husband or his son might kill her family if she tries to escape

Mission/Agenda: to escape

Secret: she learned special healing skills from her mother who was considered a witch and was killed because a child she was healing died

What makes her special? The determination and resilience she learned from her mother, who was also sold as a child.

What draws us to this character? This happy child on the verge of becoming a young woman is sold into marriage to save her father and brothers from starvation.

Traits: Vulnerable, fearful, but very, very determined

Subtext: Obedience and subjugation are her disguise as she learns her new surroundings and the habits of her new masters

Flaw: her faith that her father will realize his mistake and return for her

Values: Safety and security

Irony: If she stays and accepts her fate, her family might be safe. But if she runs, her family will be in danger…and if she warns them, her father might kill her for putting them in danger.

What makes this the right character for this role? For every girl in a similar situation who catches the media’s attention, there are hundreds more who are forced to live a life of abuse and neglect at the hands of their “husbands.” This girl is willing to risk all to take control of her own fate.

Yousef’s story

Role in the story: As the younger son of the village chief, he will inherit only if his older brother is dead. And he is not above having a hand in that.

Age range and Description: Age range is late teens, old enough to know right from wrong, but still angry enough to chafe at being the second son

Internal Journey: as his anger turns to hate, he becomes a very dangerous young man

External Journey: he promises to capture Sabreena and bring her back to restore his father’s honor, but he cares less about his father than about his own conquest

Motivation: to have Sabreena for himself

Wound: he will only ever be the second son

Mission/Agenda: He wants to get rid of his brother so when his father dies everything, including his father’s position in the village, and Sabreena, will be his.

Secret: he killed the child Sabreena’s mother was trying to heal

What makes him special? He’s very good at making people trust him, but at their peril.

What draws us to this character? His physical beauty hides the blackest of hearts. While he claims to support his father and brother, he undermines them at every turn.

Traits: cold, cruel, power-hungry

Subtext: Everything he does hides the truth of who he is.

Flaw: he’s a coward who lashes out to disguise his cowardice

Values: Power and influence

Irony: His name means “Allah increases in piety, power and influence” but everything this young man does takes him further away from the power and influence he craves

What makes this the right character for this role? His ruthlessness at such a young age borders on sociopathic.

[Terry Drayer]

Terry Drayer’s Character Profiles Part 2

What I learned doing this assignment is that while she is still unnamed, my character is becoming more defined.

What draws us to this character? This happy child on the verge of becoming a young woman is sold into marriage to save her father and brothers from starvation.

Traits: Vulnerable, fearful, but very, very determined

Subtext: Obedience and subjugation are her disguise as she learns her new surroundings and the habits of her new masters

Flaw: her faith that her father will realize his mistake and return for her

Values: Safety and security for herself and her family

Irony: If she stays and accepts her fate, her family might be safe. But if she runs, her family will be in danger…and if she warns them, they might kill her for putting them in danger.

What makes this the right character for this role? For every girl in a similar situation who catches the media’s attention, there are hundreds more who are forced to live a life of abuse and neglect at the hands of their “husbands.” This girl is willing to risk all to take control of her own fate.

Role in the story: As the youngest child of a poor farming family, the protagonist is sold into marriage to the village chief who has two sons of his own.

Age range and Description: 12 or 13, small, shy and terrified of her new “husband” and his youngest son.

Internal Journey: from weak and afraid to strong and determined

External Journey: from being an obedient child to becoming a fiercely independent girl who faces her fears and gains control of her own fate

Motivation: to escape a life of servitude to her husband and the brutality of his son

Wound: her husband or his son might kill her family if she tries to escape

Mission/Agenda: to escape and keep her family safe at the same time

Secret: she learned special healing skills from her mother who was considered the village witch and was killed because a child she was healing died

What makes her special? The determination and resilience she learned from her mother, who was also sold as a child.

[Terry Drayer]

Terry Drayer’s Character Profiles Part 1

What I learned doing this assignment is that these Profile points are enormously helpful in bringing my protagonist to life.

1. Pick the type of role your Protagonist will play and give us a few sentences on how they will fulfill that role.

Victim: As a
victim of her family’s poverty, she understands her “duty,” but hates and
fears the family into which she’s been sold.

Runner: She is
fleeing her new bond, as that’s the only way to survive. But if she warns
her father and brothers of the danger she’s putting them in, she will be
in just as much danger from them.

Dreamer: She imagines
a brighter future and discovers a way to bring prosperity back to her village and to her family.

2. Pick the type of role your Antagonist will play and give us a few sentences on how they will fulfill that role.

Villain: The Atlas
Mountains in which the girl lives become the very prison that entraps her.
Predator: The
village chief’s younger son pursues the girl on the pretense of restoring
his family’s honor, but he cares less for his father’s standing in the village
than his own conquest of his father’s new young “wife.”

3. What other characters might be necessary?

Supporting
characters:
The Rock Climbers who try to help her at their own peril

Minor roles: The Girl’s
family, various mountain inhabitants she encounters as she travels

4. Pick your genre….Drama

5. Fill in whatever answers come to you about your lead character profiles.

Role in the
story:
As the youngest child of a poor farming family, the protagonist is sold
into marriage to the village chief who has two sons of his own.

Age range and
Description:
12 or 13, small, shy and terrified of her new “husband” and his youngest
son.

Internal
Journey:
from weak and afraid to strong and determined

External
Journey:
from being an obedient child to becoming a fiercely independent girl who
faces her fears and gains control of her own fate

Motivation: to escape a
life of servitude to her husband and the brutality of his son

Wound: her husband or
his son might kill her family if she tries to escape

Mission/Agenda: to escape and
keep her family safe at the same time

Secret: she learned
special healing skills from her mother who was considered the village
witch and was killed because a child she was healing died

What makes her
special? The
determination and resilience she learned from her mother, who was also
sold as a child.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by  Terry Drayer.

[Terry Drayer]

Terry Drayer’s Transformational Journey

What I learned doing this assignment is…
…by exploring the character’s transformational journey, I’m getting a better handle on who she is and what she will become.

Who is your Hero and what is their Character Arc that represents a transformation?

My Hero is a 12-year-old girl in the Atlas Mountains, who is sold to the tribal chief to support
the rest of her family.

Internal
Journey: From weak and afraid to strong and determined

External Journey:
From being an obedient child to a fiercely independent girl in control of
her own fate

What are the Old Ways and New Ways?

Old Ways:

1. Obedient child who feels she has no choice or control of her own life.

2. Her compliance is based on fear.

3. Desperate to be rescued but losing hope.

NEW Ways:

1. Driven to escape and survive on her own.

2. Learns she is more capable than she imagined.

3. Determined to survive her captors and the mountains she climbs.

[Terry Drayer]

I, Terry L. Drayer, agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Terry Drayer]

I’m Terry Drayer, a huge fan of the ScreenwritingU classes for many years. I’ve completed 7 scripts for both film and television, and written dozens of incomplete scripts – again for both film and television. What I hope to get out of this class is the jolt I need to finish the unfinished scripts and polish the finished ones so at least one of them sells in 2022. I am an avid gardener and am currently growing 4 coffee bushes in my orchid greenhouse. Looking forward to a cup of coffee from my very own beans.