[Tom Minier]

Tom Complete P/S Grid#2

What I learned in this assignment is that my teaser still needs some finessing. I am trying to avoid wordsmithing, but that’s kinda what it needs. The action is solid, but the clarity of what is happening still needs to be worked on. I went through all of the grid questions below, and typed my answers out because I am feeling like I should have more story problems.

Grid One:

1. Pilot not a Strong Inciting Incident

The pilot sets up the story and characters, utilizing turning points that pushes the story forward. I think there is a really strong ending that ties to the teaser, but still leaves intrigue.

2. Weak Conflict

The conflict is that a group of people with nothing in common and very different views must come together to save the human race from extinction.

3. Weak or No Irony

There is irony in every act and I believe it is strong.

4. Structure: Do my Acts Work?

Yes.

5. Weak Teaser.

I think the concept of the teaser is strong, but it needs to be cleaned up. I recognize that after the second full read. The purpose of the opening protest needs to be solidified and the characters dialog needs to tell the audience why they are there. I captured the essence, but there is a better future for this teaser that will create a greater impact.

6. Need Stronger Midpoint

I believe my midpoint is very appropriate for the show. For the sake of the pilot it is strong, but I believe I need to look at the story bible and make sure that the midpoint plays into the overall story.

7. Conclusion: Mystery or Impossible Goal/Mission weak

I believe this is very strong.

8. Need a stronger Cliffhanger

The cliffhanger is strong and alludes to the teaser and thus the impossible mission.

9. Weak Turning Points

This is one that I am keeping in mind. I think the turning points are strong, but I want to keep looking for ideas that could be stronger.

10. A, B, and C Stories not working together

The stories are working well. The C story isn’t well defined, but they are established and would be built upon further in future episodes.

11. Weak Transformational Journey

The transformation for my main 4-5 characters is really strong. There are another 4 characters that have an arc, but in comparison to the other characters it may feel weak.

12. Missing Setups for Future Episodes

Lots of setups are built into each act.

13. Not enough Intrigue

I believe there is a great deal of intrigue around the story and the characters.

14. Not enough subtext

I’ve done two full read throughs of the story and there is subtext, but there may be opportunities to build richer subtext. No ideas have come to me yet, but I will keep this point in mind.

Grid Two:

1. Missed the Outline in Some Places

No, outline was followed.

2. Not Enough Empathy/Distress

The counterpoint of the story is around the distress the characters are experiencing and the need for empathy from one another. It is a central theme of the story.

3. Character Intros not Strong

I need to go deeper here. Almost all my characters are introduced in the teaser, but as I mentioned previously, this is an area of opportunity.

4. Characters We Don’t Care About

I care about all of these characters, I hope that others will as well.

5. Weak Protagonist or Antagonist

My Protagonist is very strong, and very flawed. My Antagonist may need improvement. I may be able to take his characteristics to more of an extreme…

6. Characters Need More Depth

I feel good on this one.

7. Scenes that are Not Intriguing

I believe I’m good here as well.

8. Weak Scenes

Every scene serves its purpose, builds intrigue, helps the audience discover its characters. I don’t believe they are weak, but I am continuously looking for ways to make them stronger.

9. Situations don’t Challenge Characters

All of the characters are constantly being challenged throughout the story.

10. Exposition Instead of Reveals

No. Definitely not.

11. When do I Reveal What?

There isn’t a lot reveal at this point other than the midpoint, characters, and cliffhanger.

12. Cliché Scenes, Actions, or Dialogue

I have a scene and some dialogue inspired by other stories, but it is done in a familiar but different way that I don’t believe would be seen as cliche.

[Tom Minier]

Tom Completed P/S Grid #1

I’m feeling a bit apprehensive about saying this, but I reviewed all of the possible problems to solve for and nothing jumped out. Today I printed the first draft and read through the entire thing, and again, I felt it flowed well. I definitely believe that there is always room for improvement, but all of the elements in this first grid were present. I’m going to keep this chart handy and continue thinking about it, but in the spirit of keeping this training rolling, I’m moving on.

[Tom Minier]

Tom Has Finished Act 4 + 5

Again, for me, this wasn’t so much about what I learned, but rather practice to push forward quickly and trust the outlining process. I am really happy that I have a first draft completed. I tried to write this story a few years ago, and comparing what I put together then versus what I have so far, it is like night and day, which is exciting. If this is only at 30%, I am really excited to see how the next steps will improve its quality.

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Finished Act 3

I’m not sure I really learned anything this assignment, but it was a reinforcement that I am getting better at the speed writing. I feel like the real test will be in act 4 though, as I am really uncertain of a major plot point that I haven’t put much detail into thus far yet is pivotal toward moving the pilot to conclusion.

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Finished Act 2

What I learned in this assignment is that I can write even faster if I don’t do the first take in Final Draft. I started just flying through dialog and action with no headers in a notepad application and was amazed at how much easier it was to get out of my head about being word perfect. On the next day, I went back and transferred everything to Final Draft and made a couple of small tweaks, but overall I was surprised by the outcome.

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Finished Act 1 First Draft

What I learned in this assignment was the value of a past lesson we did. Keeping my the following answers handy (I don’t recall which lesson it was):

Start:
Challenging Situation:
Conflict:
Action:
Finish:

Helped me to make sure I was staying true to my outline and helped me to stay on track with the high speed writing component. I was simply setting out to honor the outline.

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Teaser / High Speed Writing

What I learned from this assignment was that this high speed method can really move a script along, but it does take concentration. It was really tempting to overthink the descriptions and dialog, but even though I continued to redirect my focus toward speed, I was happy with the first draft of teaser.

Overall, I think the high speed approach worked really well and I’m looking forward to seeing how the momentum continues to play out through the remaining acts.

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Outline With Intrigue

What I learned in this assignment was that there is plenty of room to expand the intrigue. Honestly, I think this lesson was most useful for going through the notes and bullet points from previous lessons and seeing what is still relevant and then organizing it scene by scene.

Concept: Nine people with seemingly nothing in common enter into a support group to help cope with loss during the pandemic, but discover they are the subjects of an extraterrestrial experiment to change the outcome of an upcoming political protest that starts a domino effect, leading to the end of democracy, and ultimately the extinction of mankind.

Inciting Incident: Florida Man attends his first support group meeting as ordered by court to avoid jail time, meeting the group that will ultimately be tasked with changing the trajectory of mankind to avoid extinction.

A Story: The group’s purpose to save mankind

B Story: Eddie, Twyla and the Janitor

C Story: The inter/intra-personal relationships of the group

Beat Sheet

TEASER EXT. STATE CAPITAL – DAY: CONSPIRACY

Seeking out the false flag at a protest, we weave with FLORIDA MAN through the crowd on both sides of the protest as the tension rises. Distracted, as he looks for signs of deception, Florida Man passes seemingly unaffected by growing tensions and impending violence.

<font face=”Helvetica Neue” size=”2″ color=”#000000″>Empathy/Distress: Every character is highlighted in the teaser in a manner that builds empathy or distress
Setup: What is Florida Man there to do?
Mystery: What prompted the protest?</font>

<font face=”Helvetica Neue” size=”2″ color=”#000000″>Mystery: Why are there so many groups protesting different things?</font>

<font face=”Helvetica Neue” size=”2″ color=”#000000″>Mystery: What is Florida Man there to do?</font>

<font face=”Helvetica Neue” size=”2″ color=”#000000″>Mystery: Who is responsible for starting the violence?</font>

<font face=”Helvetica Neue” size=”2″ color=”#000000″>Open Loop: What will be the outcome of the protest?</font>

<font face=”Helvetica Neue” size=”2″ color=”#000000″>Open Loop: What long-term consequences will result from it?</font>

EXT. STATE CAPITAL – ULTRA CONSERVATIVE STAGE – DAY

BRENDA, the leader of a far-right organization is preaching her variety of conservative values from a mega phone as Florida Man passes by. Vehemently opposed to everything Brenda stands for, ANGELA screams profanities regarding existential threats against the planet, and waves her banner of opposition.

EXT. STATE CAPITAL – RIGHT SIDE OF CROWD – DAY

Each step Florida Man takes into the crowd is met with greater hostility. Passing by STU, we hear him in an argument about border reform and building bigger walls.

EXT. STATE CAPITAL – CENTER OF CROWD – DAY

Passing into the eye of the storm, Florida Man bumps into F.M., a white cis male and Texan who is struggling to take a side, and DANI who is standing between two men twice her size trying to stop a fight.

EXT. STATE CAPITAL – LEFT SIDE OF CROWD – DAY

PETER CETERA yells at Florida Man demanding social equality, especially for the LGBTQ population. A group of militant looking men and woman pass by Florida Man. The leader of this group, POE, can be heard responding to the prospect of violence indicating that his cohort won’t start the fight, but they’ll finish it.

EXT. STATE CAPITAL – PERIMETER OF PROTEST – DAY

Crossing the adjacent street, the protest has pushed outward into the street, as tensions reach a tipping point. Cars are stuck in the street unable to pass. Florida Man sees a very frustrated JENNY slam her car horn a few times, and then get out of her car and abandon it. Crossing the street, the local police are in riot gear and given the command to break up this protest. As they move in, shots are fired, and complete chaos erupts. Multiple people from gun fire and then due to trampling, many more are injured, but the true damage is to the polarized American psyche.

ACT 1

INT. SAINT JUDE’S CHURCH – BASEMENT: SECRET IDENTITY

TWYLA and the JANITOR are watching the riot unfold on an old TV. Twyla lectures on about space and time as the Janitor listens attentively. Twyla seems to care deeply about the people and violence. She continues talking about an experiment and how excited she is for the opportunity to help. ELLIOT soon arrives. He is marveling over his own body, fascinated by it.

<font face=”Helvetica Neue” size=”2″ color=”#000000″>Open Loop: Are Twyla, Elliot and the Janitor here to help or hurt mankind?
Open Loop: What will be the result of the experiment they are conducting?
Mystery: Twyla and Elliot are talking about the events unfolding leading to the extinction of mankind
Mystery: What is the nature of the experiment they are conducting?
Mystery: Where did Elliot, Twyla and the Janitor come from?
Mystery: Why would the Janitor choose Florida Man to lead the group?
Mystery: Who are Twyla, Elliot and the Janitor?
Mystery: How can they know about the future of mankind?
Mystery: Why are they concerned about the fate of humanity?
Mystery: Where are they physically located?
Empathy/Distress:
Irony: The Janitor reveals that he has selected who will lead the group, and he is the last person any one would expect him to choose
Setup: The role of the Janitor
Setup: Twyla and Florida Man are watching the events of the protest unfold on the TV as if watching it live, but pause on a close up of Florida Man</font>

CLOSE ON TV

They continue talking about the protest as if an event in the distant past, and repercussions it will have long into the future.

INT. SAINT JUDE’S CHURCH – BASEMENT

The conversation that turns and focuses on how this can be stopped, as if it hasn’t yet happened. Elliot still seems distracted by himself, and less concerned about the experiment, but continues feeding into the conversation. Twyla asks if humans are really capable of changing, finally the Janitor speaks up and pauses the TV on a shot of Florida Man indicating that with the right leader it is possible. Twyla and Elliot both show signs of doubt and concern about what the Janitor is implying, but seem to respect the Janitor too much to oppose him. They discuss that this event must be stopped or it will cause a domino effect that leads to the fall of democracy and the end of mankind.

ACT 2

INT. COURTROOM – THREE WEEKS EARLIER: STRANGE BEHAVIOR

Florida Man, a lone wolf conspiracy theorist prone to making poor choices is representing himself in court. He is reckless, unstable, and aloof. He also continuously refers to the judge by his first name, disrespecting the judge and his court.



Judge makes a comment during trial he represents the greatest problem with society: people thinking they can make a difference—this might as well be a trial for the whole of mankind—the judge is tired of seeing Florida Man in his court and encourages him to plead insanity.



Facing jail time, Florida Man argues that what he was doing was for the greater good in an attempt to heal the community, and makes a shockingly compelling case, considering he looks homeless. The Judge, who is actually family, tells Florida Man that if he doesn’t abide to house arrest and attend a group support meeting he will go to jail. Florida Man inquires about what type of support group, and the judge recommends one that is actually helping people in the community so that he can learn what it means to be truly helpful.

<font face=”Helvetica Neue” size=”2″ color=”#000000″>Open Loop: Will Florida Man be able to abide by the judge’s ruling or will he end up in jail?
Open Loop: How will this situation help or hurt Florida Man with regards to his mission?
Open Loop: How will Florida Man’s mental health affect his decisions? Is he mentally ill?
Mystery: Florida Man refuses to disclose why he was trespassing, only citing that he’s trying to heal the community
Mystery: Why does Florida Man plead non guilty when there seems to be an insurmountable of evidence against him?
Mystery: Why does the judge cut him a break even after Florida Man casually disrespects him in his court?
Mystery: How does he know the judge?
Mystery: How was Florida Man trying to protect the community while committing crimes against it?
Mystery: What did Florida Man do to end up in court?
Empathy/Distress: Florida Man is trying to defend himself and is clearly not a lawyer
Irony: Florida Man is defending himself, but talking to the judge in a manner that is disrespectful
Irony: Florida Man may appear uneducated and homeless, but actually puts together a compelling argument showing how intelligent he actually is
Setup: The judge knows about Florida Man’s history and cuts him a break</font>

ACT 3

EXT. SAINT JUDE’S CHURCH – EVENING

Florida Man arrives to the church and sees a flyer on the door for a pandemic survivor support group and walks in.

INT. SAINT JUDE’S CHURCH – BASEMENT: INTRIGUING WORLD

Entering into the basement, a meeting already appears to be underway. In the middle of basement are a circle of ten people. Elliot and Twyla are facilitating the meeting and the other eight are support seekers.



Florida Man is welcomed by Twyla who grabs a chair for him as space is made in the circle. She then hands him a name tag sticker and a marker. Looking around the circle he sees a very diverse group of people all wearing name tags. Florida Man proceeds to write “Florida Man,” on the tag.



Elliot, the more charismatic of the facilitators helps everyone to feel at ease. It seems as though the meeting is just getting started as Elliot reviews some rules with the group. 



Stu, Poe, Angela, Brenda, Jenny, F.M., Peter Cetera and Dani all go around and talk about the devastating loss they’ve experienced from the pandemic. Finally, we get to Florida Man and he explains that he hasn’t actually lost anything, and that he is here because a judge is forcing him to be there to avoid going to jail. Several members of the group ridicule him, but Elliot focuses on his honesty and calms down the group illustrating that there is a cosmic bond that unites them.



Twyla and Elliot have a disagreement and the Janitor emerges from the shadows sweeping the floors and making his presence known. Seeing the Janitor, the argument dissipates immediately making Florida Man suspicious as he watches the Janitor recede back into the shadows. 



The group takes a break and Elliot B-lines it for the restroom.

<font face=”Helvetica Neue” size=”2″ color=”#000000″>Open Loop: How will the loses that the group members have individually experienced help them come together?
Open Loop: As the group enters that are given name tags, but many of them choose not to use their real names
Open Loop: How will the cosmic bond of the group bring them closer?
Mystery: Why did Elliot and Twyla organize a pandemic support meeting?
Mystery: Why did Florida Man choose this support group? OR Why did the judge tell him to go to this support group?
Mystery: What does Elliot mean when he says there is a cosmic bond that unites them?
Irony: The person who the Janitor appoints to lead the group is the least liked member of the team
Setup: How will the group react to Florida Man not being there voluntarily?
Payoff: The majority of the group doesn’t believe that Florida Man should stay in the group</font>

<font face=”Helvetica Neue” size=”2″ color=”#000000″>Empathy/Distress: Brenda reveals that she lost her father during the pandemic and is now trying to fill his shoes by taking over his “organization”</font>

<font face=”Helvetica Neue” size=”2″ color=”#000000″>Empathy/Distress: As Poe is explaining what he lost during the pandemic he lost is faith in God, and will no longer be preaching </font>

<font face=”Helvetica Neue” size=”2″ color=”#000000″>Empathy/Distress: Angela indicates that she lost any sense of hope in humanity during the pandemic</font>

<font face=”Helvetica Neue” size=”2″ color=”#000000″>Empathy/Distress: While discussing what was lost in the pandemic, Jenny indicates that she lost her job</font>

<font face=”Helvetica Neue” size=”2″ color=”#000000″>Empathy/Distress: Stu lost his wife during the pandemic, but blames it on illegal aliens coming into the country</font>

<font face=”Helvetica Neue” size=”2″ color=”#000000″>Empathy/Distress: F.M.’s family lost their farm during the pandemic and now he has set out on a new course to become a rapper</font>

<font face=”Helvetica Neue” size=”2″ color=”#000000″>Empathy/Distress: Peter Cetera lost his grandmother due to complications with virus and is now seeking to follow his dreams of being a musician despite the shadow his name has cast on him</font>

<font face=”Helvetica Neue” size=”2″ color=”#000000″>Empathy/Distress: Dani’s family has been torn apart by their opposing political stances and she’s been struggling to keep them civil.</font>

INT. SAINT JUDE’S CHURCH – RESTROOM: HIDDEN AGENDA

Elliot enters the restroom seemingly upset about the status quo of the group and lack of common ground he seems to have with Twyla. A mysterious being appears in the mirror that checks in with Elliot and we learn that it is his intention to sabotage humanity and it is going better than he could have expected. The mysterious being is pleased and sends Elliot on his way.

<font face=”Helvetica Neue” size=”2″ color=”#000000″>Setup: Elliot is working with another person or group to support the downfall of humanity
Open Loop: Who is Elliot talking to about sabotaging the experiment?
Mystery: Why is Elliot compelled to sabotage the experiment?</font>

ACT 4

INT. SAINT JUDE’S CHURCH – BASEMENT: DECEPTION

As the group comes back together, to Twyla’s disapproval, Eddie puts the focus back on Florida Man trying to get him to open up. Florida Man is very reluctant to talk about himself, especially since he is used to being on his own and blending in. Seeing that Florida Man is struggling, Twyla interjects and tries to help him, but Eddie overpowers her and insists that Florida Man lead a trust building exercise.



Twyla becomes more irritated with Eddie as he explains the rules of the trust exercise. The majority of the group shows no respect to Florida Man, believing that he shouldn’t even be there, and as a result the trust exercise fails miserably having an overall negative effect.

<font face=”Helvetica Neue” size=”2″ color=”#000000″>Open Loop: Why is the Janitor always seen as a laborer in the background?
Open Loop: As Elliot becomes aggressive, Twyla turns to the Janitor, which Florida Man notices
Open Loop: Will Twyla continue to be subservient to Elliot, or will she stand up to him?
Open Loop: What will result from the aggression that Elliot exerts over Florida Man and the group?
Open Loop: Will Florida Man notice the presence of the Janitor and his connection to Twyla and Elliot?
Mystery: How can Florida Man inspire a group when he is reluctant to even open up to them and they blatantly show that they do not respect him?
Mystery: What is the Janitor’s involvement here and connection to Elliot and Twyla?
Empathy/Distress: Florida Man is forced into the spot light again when given the responsibility to lead the trust exercise despite no one trusting him
Irony: Being put on the spot backfires and Florida Man gains sympathy from one of the group member’s with a deep fear of public speaking
Setup: The trust exercise is Elliot’s first attempt to discredit Florida Man as a leader and ensure that he’ll never successfully be able to lead the group</font>

ACT 5

INT. SAINT JUDE’S CHURCH – BASEMENT: WOUND

This week’s meeting concludes and Twyla sends them off with a homework assignment and indicates that they will be meeting here every week for the next couple months, encouraging them all to come back. There is doubt if anyone will come back and Twyla tries to mend the situation but the damage is done.



As everyone is leaving a few give Florida Man dirty looks, and others talk about him as if he weren’t there. Florida Man walks out ashamed.

<font face=”Helvetica Neue” size=”2″ color=”#000000″>Open Loop: How will Twyla’s doubt about the experiment affect her behavior and decisions?
Open Loop: Will anyone actually come back to this meeting and why?
Empathy/Distress: Most of the group makes it clear that they don’t appreciate Florida Man
Irony: Twyla and Elliot seem to be moving in opposite directions with regards to helping the group
Setup: Twyla gives a homework assignment for the next meeting (episode)</font>

EXT. SAINT JUDE’S CHURCH – NIGHT: HIDDEN LAYER

Florida Man is the last person to leave the building. He feels like an outcast. Angela, one of the more vocal members of the group, is outside of the church smoking a cigarette. She offers one to Florida Man and ty start talking about Angela’s fear of public speaking and how she feels it was really brave of him to show up and be honest about why he was there. 



Finishing her cigarette she encourages Florida Man to come back and walks off. The first alliance is forged.

<font face=”Helvetica Neue” size=”2″ color=”#000000″>Open Loop: How will the relationship between Florida Man and Angela evolve?
Mystery: Why did Angela feel inspired to wait up for Florida Man?
Empathy/Distress: Angela reveals her real name and opens up at her fear and acknowledges how brave she thought Florida Man was for being honest
Irony: The angriest looking character ends up being the one with the biggest heart
Setup: The first alliance of the group is formed
</font>

INT. SAINT JUDE’S CHURCH – BASEMENT: IMMINENT THREAT

Twyla and Elliot are cleaning up the space when Twyla confronts Elliot about his reckless behavior and deviation from the plan. Elliot is initially dismissive of Twyla and then indicates that this is part of a bigger plan to bring them together. Twyla indicates that she isn’t sure if she is up for this and Elliot gives her some tough love reminding her that she singed up for this.



The Janitor approaches and tells them to begin prepping for the next session.

<font face=”Helvetica Neue” size=”2″ color=”#000000″>Open Loop: Will Twyla and the Janitor realize that Elliot is working against them?
Open Loop: How will the group respond when they find out they’ve been abducted?
Open Loop: Where does the group go when they leave the room?
Open Loop: What does the Janitor mean when he talks about the group being abducted?
Mystery: The Janitor alludes to the group being abducted
Mystery: Why is the leader of the group posing as the Janitor?
Mystery: How do they know the group will keep coming back?
Empathy/Distress: Twyla calls out Elliot’s behavior as unacceptable
Setup: The Janitor tells Twyla and Elliot to prep for the next session
Payoff: The Janitor is actually the leader of the group
Payoff: Florida Man is at the protest in the beginning looking for a false flag</font>

INT. FLORIDA MAN’S HOME: INTRIGUING WORLD

Walking through his home, it looks like a crime scene. He’s a mess, and his life is a conspiracy-driven train wreck. He sits down at his computer and checks his email. Next to the computer are the papers from the recent court appearance. There he finds an invitation from a conspiracy group indicating that there is going to be protest and the group is getting together to catch proof of a false flag operation. Florida Man accepts the invitation.

Open Loop: What will be the repercussions of accepting the false flag invitation on Florida Man?


Mystery: Who sends Florida Man the false flag message when he gets home?


Empathy/Distress: Florida Man returns to an empty home. He lives in an apartment that resembles a crime scene. Stacks of open books. Pictures on walls. Maps. An investigation is underway.


Setup: Florida Man is somehow connected to a larger group of conspiracy theorists 
Payoff:”

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Scene Requirements

What I learned in this assignment was that I essentially did this work last assignment, apparently filling in more detail than the lesson required. Going through these steps though it did give me an opportunity to put a bit more structure and intention into the outline so I do feel like some aspects of it improved.

Concept: Nine people with seemingly nothing in common enter into a support group to help cope with loss during the pandemic, but discover they are the subjects of an extraterrestrial experiment to change the outcome of an upcoming political protest that starts a domino effect, leading to the end of democracy, and ultimately the extinction of mankind.

Inciting Incident: Florida Man attends his first support group meeting as ordered by court to avoid jail time, meeting the group that will ultimately be tasked with changing the trajectory of mankind to avoid extinction.

A Story: The group’s purpose to save mankind

B Story: Eddie, Twyla and the Janitor

C Story: The inter/intra-personal relationships of the group

Beat Sheet

TEASER EXT. STATE CAPITAL – DAY

Seeking out the false flag at a protest, we weave with FLORIDA MAN through the crowd on both sides of the protest as the tension rises. Distracted, as he looks for signs of deception, Florida Man passes seemingly unaffected by growing tensions and impending violence.

EXT. STATE CAPITAL – ULTRA CONSERVATIVE STAGE – DAY

BRENDA, the leader of a far-right organization is preaching her variety of conservative values from a mega phone as Florida Man passes by. Vehemently opposed to everything Brenda stands for, ANGELA screams profanities regarding existential threats against the planet, and waves her banner of opposition.

EXT. STATE CAPITAL – RIGHT SIDE OF CROWD – DAY

Each step Florida Man takes into the crowd is met with greater hostility. Passing by STU, we hear him in an argument about border reform and building bigger walls.

EXT. STATE CAPITAL – CENTER OF CROWD – DAY

Passing into the eye of the storm, Florida Man bumps into F.M., a white cis male and Texan who is struggling to take a side, and DANI who is standing between two men twice her size trying to stop a fight.

EXT. STATE CAPITAL – LEFT SIDE OF CROWD – DAY

PETER CETERA yells at Florida Man demanding social equality, especially for the LGBTQ population. A group of militant looking men and woman pass by Florida Man. The leader of this group, POE, can be heard responding to the prospect of violence indicating that his cohort won’t start the fight, but they’ll finish it.

EXT. STATE CAPITAL – PERIMETER OF PROTEST – DAY

Crossing the adjacent street, the protest has pushed outward into the street, as tensions reach a tipping point. Cars are stuck in the street unable to pass. Florida Man sees a very frustrated JENNY slam her car horn a few times, and then get out of her car and abandon it. Crossing the street, the local police are in riot gear and given the command to break up this protest. As they move in, shots are fired, and complete chaos erupts. Multiple people from gun fire and then due to trampling, many more are injured, but the true damage is to the polarized American psyche.

Start: Florida Man arrives at a protest looking for signs of a false flag
Challenging Situation: It is a large and chaotic protest
Conflict: There are many opposing sides to this protest, everyone is angry about something
Action: As the police in riot gear move in, the chaos boils over
Finish: Multiple people are killed due to a shooter and from be trampled as everyone tried to flee the area

ACT 1

INT. SAINT JUDE’S CHURCH – BASEMENT

TWYLA and the JANITOR are watching the riot unfold on an old TV. Twyla lectures on about space and time as the Janitor listens attentively. Twyla seems to care deeply about the people and violence. She continues talking about an experiment and how excited she is for the opportunity to help. ELLIOT soon arrives. He is marveling over his own body, fascinated by it.

CLOSE ON TV

They continue talking about the protest as if an event in the distant past, and repercussions it will have long into the future.

INT. SAINT JUDE’S CHURCH – BASEMENT

The conversation that turns and focuses on how this can be stopped, as if it hasn’t yet happened. Elliot still seems distracted by himself, and less concerned about the experiment, but continues feeding into the conversation. Twyla asks if humans are really capable of changing, finally the Janitor speaks up and pauses the TV on a shot of Florida Man indicating that with the right leader it is possible. Twyla and Elliot both show signs of doubt and concern about what the Janitor is implying, but seem to respect the Janitor too much to oppose him. They discuss that this event must be stopped or it will cause a domino effect that leads to the fall of democracy and the end of mankind.

Start: Twyla and Janitor are watching the events unfold on their TV
Challenging Situation: This event is going to lead to the fall of mankind
Conflict: If mankind is going to survive they need to learn to help themselves, bu tin their current state that seems impossible
Action: They are going to bring a group together who will attend this event and stop the violence from occurring and bring the human race back from the brink
Finish: The Janitor has already chosen their leader, Florida Man

ACT 2

INT. COURTROOM – THREE WEEKS EARLIER

Florida Man, a lone wolf conspiracy theorist prone to making poor choices is representing himself in court. He is reckless, unstable, and aloof. He also continuously refers to the judge by his first name, disrespecting the judge and his court. 



Judge makes a comment during trial he represents the greatest problem with society: people thinking they can make a difference—this might as well be a trial for the whole of mankind—the judge is tired of seeing Florida Man in his court.



Facing jail time, Florida Man argues that what he was doing was for the greater good in an attempt to heal the community, and makes a shockingly compelling case, considering he looks homeless. The Judge, who is actually family, tells Florida Man that if he doesn’t abide to house arrest and attend a group support meeting he will go to jail. Florida Man inquires about what type of support group, and the judge recommends one that is actually helping people in the community so that he can learn what it means to be truly helpful.

Start: Florida Man has been arrested for trespassing
Challenging Situation: Florida Man is defending himself in court
Conflict: Florida Man is pleading not guilty and making jabs at the judge as if to provoke him
Action: The judge finds him guilty
Finish: The judge gives him a chance to avoid jail time if he does house arrest and attends a support group that can really benefit the community

ACT 3

EXT. SAINT JUDE’S CHURCH – EVENING

Florida Man arrives to the church and sees a flyer on the door for a pandemic survivor support group and walks in.

INT. SAINT JUDE’S CHURCH – BASEMENT

“Entering into the basement, a meeting already appears to be underway. In the middle of basement are a circle of ten people. Elliot and Twyla are facilitating the meeting and the other eight are support seekers. 



Florida Man is welcomed by Twyla who grabs a chair for him as space is made in the circle. She then hands him a name tag sticker and a marker. Looking around the circle he sees a very diverse group of people all wearing name tags. Florida Man proceeds to write “Florida Man,” on the tag.



Elliot, the more charismatic of the facilitators helps everyone to feel at ease. It seems as though the meeting is just getting started as Elliot reviews some rules with the group. 



Stu, Poe, Angela, Brenda, Jenny, F.M., Peter Cetera and Dani all go around and talk about the devastating loss they’ve experienced from the pandemic. Finally, we get to Florida Man and he explains that he hasn’t actually lost anything, and that he is here because a judge is forcing him to be there to avoid going to jail. Several members of the group ridicule him, but Eddie focuses on his honesty and calms down the group illustrating that there is a cosmic bond that unites them.



Twyla and Elliot have a disagreement and the Janitor emerges from the shadows sweeping the floors and making his presence known. Seeing the Janitor, the argument dissipates immediately making Florida Man suspicious as he watches the Janitor recede back into the shadows. 

The group takes a break and Elliot B-lines it for the restroom.

Start: Florida Man arrives to his first support group meeting for people who have endured lost from the pandemic
Challenging Situation: The meeting has already started
Conflict: The group learns Florida Man hasn’t actually lost anything in the pandemic and that he is only there to satisfy the judge’s orders
Action: The group loses respect for him and Elliot seizes the opportunity, which leads to an argument between Twyla and Eddie that abruptly comes to an end when the Janitor emerges
Finish: The group takes a five minute break and Elliot runs to the restroom

INT. SAINT JUDE’S CHURCH – RESTROOM

Elliot enters the restroom seemingly upset about the status quo of the group and lack of common ground he seems to have with Twyla. A mysterious being appears in the mirror that checks in with Elliot and we learn that it is his intention to sabotage humanity and it is going better than he could have expected. The mysterious being is pleased and sends Elliot on his way.

Start: Elliot enters the restroom seemingly upset
Challenging Situation: The group that is going to save mankind have not common ground
Conflict: Elliot seems to working against Twyla
Action: A mysterious being appears in the mirror that Elliot communicates with telling him that the plan to sabotage humanity is going better than expected.
Finish: The mysterious being is pleased and sends Elliot on his way.

ACT 4

INT. SAINT JUDE’S CHURCH – BASEMENT

As the group comes back together, to Twyla’s disapproval, Eddie puts the focus back on Florida Man trying to get him to open up. Florida Man is very reluctant to talk about himself, especially since he is used to being on his own and blending in. Seeing that Florida Man is struggling, Twyla interjects and tries to help him, but Eddie overpowers her and insists that Florida Man lead a trust building exercise.



Twyla becomes more irritated with Eddie as he explains the rules of the trust exercise. The majority of the group shows no respect to Florida Man, believing that he shouldn’t even be there, and as a result the trust exercise fails miserably having an overall negative effect.

Start: The group returns from their break
Challenging Situation: At the onset, the group is on shaky ground and seems distrustful of one another, and the facilitators
Conflict: The group thinks that Florida Man should leave
Action: Elliot decides to do a trust building exercise despite Twyla’s objection
Finish: The trust building exercise is an epic failure, dispelling further doubt in the group

ACT 5

INT. SAINT JUDE’S CHURCH – BASEMENT

This week’s meeting concludes and Twyla sends them off with a homework assignment and indicates that they will be meeting here every week for the next couple months, encouraging them all to come back. There is doubt if anyone will come back and Twyla tries to mend the situation but the damage is done.



As everyone is leaving a few give Florida Man dirty looks, and others talk about him as if he weren’t there. Florida Man walks out ashamed.

Start: The first meeting comes to an end
Challenging Situation: There is doubt if anyone will actually come back and if Florida Man will be welcome back
Conflict: Twyla tries to mend the situation but the damage is done
Action: Twyla provides them with a homework assignment and encourages them to come back next week
Finish: As everyone leaves, they give Florida Man dirty looks while others are talking about him as if he isn’t there leaving him feeling ashamed.

EXT. SAINT JUDE’S CHURCH – NIGHT

Florida Man is the last person to leave the building. He feels like an outcast. Angela, one of the more vocal members of the group, is outside of the church smoking a cigarette. She offers one to Florida Man and ty start talking about Angela’s fear of public speaking and how she feels it was really brave of him to show up and be honest about why he was there. 



Finishing her cigarette she encourages Florida Man to come back and walks off. The first alliance is forged.

Start: Florida Man is the last one to leave the building 
Challenging Situation: Florida Man feels like an outcast 
Conflict: Angela, one of the more vocal members of the group is outside of the church smoking a cigarette
Action: She offers Florida Man a cigarette and they start talking about Angela’s fear of public speaking and how she feels it was really brave of him to show up and be honest about why he was there
Finish: Finishing her cigarette she encourages Florida Man to come back and walks off

INT. SAINT JUDE’S CHURCH – BASEMENT

Twyla and Elliot are cleaning up the space when Twyla confronts Elliot about his reckless behavior and deviation from the plan. Elliot is initially dismissive of Twyla and then indicates that this is part of a bigger plan to bring them together. Twyla indicates that she isn’t sure if she is up for this and Elliot gives her some tough love reminding her that she singed up for this.


The Janitor approaches and tells them to begin prepping for the next session.

Start: The meeting is over
Challenging Situation: If this group doesn’t come together It could spell the end of the human race
Conflict: Twyla confronts Elliot about his reckless behavior and deviation from the plan
Action: Elliot is initially dismissive of Twyla and then indicates that this is part of a bigger plan to bring them together. Twyla indicates that she isn’t sure if she is up for this and Elliot gives her some tough love reminding her that she signed up for this.
Finish: The Janitor approaches and tells them to begin prepping for the next session

INT. FLORIDA MAN’S HOME

Walking through his home, it looks like a crime scene. He’s a mess, and his life is a conspiracy-driven train wreck. He sits down at his computer and checks his email. Next to the computer are the papers from the recent court appearance. There he finds an invitation from a conspiracy group indicating that there is going to be protest and the group is getting together to catch proof of a false flag operation. Florida Man accepts the invitation.

Start: Florida Man returns home from meeting
Challenging Situation: He receives notice of a protest occurring that is tied to a potential false flag event
Conflict: Florida Man is on house arrest and potentially suffering from a mental illness
Action: Florida Man accepts the invitation
Finish: He continues down a conspiracy theory rabbit hole

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Beat Sheet

What I learned from this assignment was that this was an opportunity to start formalizing the pilot work that had already been done. Each lesson I was copying over my ever growing outline and in this assignment I was primarily putting the relevant pieces together. There were a few places where new information came forth, and other places I saw that still needed attention, but all in all I think the pilot is coming together nicely.

Concept: Nine people with seemingly nothing in common enter into a support group to help cope with loss during the pandemic, but discover they are the subjects of an extraterrestrial experiment to change the outcome of an upcoming political protest that starts a domino effect, leading to the end of democracy, and ultimately the extinction of mankind.

Inciting Incident: Florida Man attends his first support group meeting as ordered by court to avoid jail time, meeting the group that will ultimately be tasked with changing the trajectory of mankind to avoid extinction.

A Story: The group’s purpose to save mankind

B Story: Eddie, Twyla and the Janitor

C Story: The inter/intra-personal relationships of the group

Beat Sheet

TEASER

EXT. STATE CAPITAL – DAY

Seeking at the false flag at a protest, we weave with FLORIDA MAN through the crowd on both sides of the protest as the tension rises. Distracted, as he looks for signs of deception, Florida Man passes seemingly unaffected by growing tensions and impending violence.

EXT. STATE CAPITAL – ULTRA CONSERVATIVE STAGE – DAY

BRENDA, the leader of a far-right organization is preaching her variety of conservative values from a mega phone as Florida Man passes by. Vehemently opposed to everything Brenda stands for, ANGELA screams profanities regarding existential threats against the planet, and waves her banner of opposition.

EXT. STATE CAPITAL – RIGHT SIDE OF CROWD – DAY

Each step Florida Man takes into the crowd is met with greater hostility. Passing by STU, we hear him in an argument about border reform and building bigger walls.

EXT. STATE CAPITAL – CENTER OF CROWD – DAY

Passing into the eye of the storm, Florida Man bumps into F.M., a white cis male and Texan who is struggling to take a side, and DANI who is standing between two men twice her size trying to stop a fight.

EXT. STATE CAPITAL – LEFT SIDE OF CROWD – DAY

PETER CETERA yells at Florida Man demanding social equality, especially for the LGBTQ population. A group of militant looking men and woman pass by Florida Man. The leader of this group, POE, can be heard responding to the prospect of violence indicating that his cohort won’t start the fight, but they’ll finish it.

EXT. STATE CAPITAL – PERIMETER OF PROTEST – DAY

Crossing the adjacent street, the protest has pushed outward into the street, as tensions reach a tipping point. Cars are stuck in the street unable to pass. Florida Man sees a very frustrated JENNY slam her car horn a few times, and then get out of her car and abandon it. Crossing the street, the local police are in riot gear and given the command to break up this protest. As they move in, shots are fired, and complete chaos erupts. Multiple people from gun fire and then due to trampling, many more are injured, but the true damage is to the polarized American psyche.

ACT 1

INT. SAINT JUDE’S CHURCH – BASEMENT

TWYLA and the JANITOR are watching the riot unfold on an old TV. Twyla lectures on about space and time as the Janitor listens attentively. Twyla seems to care deeply about the people and violence. She continues talking about an experiment and how excited she is for the opportunity to help. ELLIOT soon arrives. He is marveling over his own body, fascinated by it.

CLOSE ON TV

They continue talking about the protest as if an event in the distant past, and repercussions it will have long into the future.

INT. SAINT JUDE’S CHURCH – BASEMENT

The conversation that turns and focuses on how this can be stopped, as if it hasn’t yet happened. Elliot still seems distracted by himself, and less concerned about the experiment, but continues feeding into the conversation. Twyla asks if humans are really capable of changing, finally the Janitor speaks up and pauses the TV on a shot of Florida Man indicating that with the right leader it is possible. Twyla and Elliot both show signs of doubt and concern about what the Janitor is implying, but seem to respect the Janitor too much to oppose him. They discuss that this event must be stopped or it will cause a domino effect that leads to the fall of democracy and the end of mankind.

ACT 2

INT. COURTROOM – THREE WEEKS EARLIER

Florida Man, a lone wolf conspiracy theorist prone to making poor choices is representing himself in court. He is reckless, unstable, and aloof. He also continuously refers to the judge by his first name, disrespecting the judge and his court.



Judge makes a comment during trial he represents the greatest problem with society: people thinking they can make a difference—this might as well be a trial for the whole of mankind—the judge is tired of seeing Florida Man in his court.



Facing jail time, Florida Man argues that what he was doing was for the greater good in an attempt to heal the community, and makes a shockingly compelling case, considering he looks homeless. The Judge, who is actually family, tells Florida Man that if he doesn’t abide to house arrest and attend a group support meeting he will go to jail. Florida Man inquires about what type of support group, and the judge recommends one that is actually helping people in the community so that he can learn what it means to be truly helpful.

ACT 3

EXT. SAINT JUDE’S CHURCH – EVENING

Florida Man arrives to the church and sees a flyer on the door for a pandemic survivor support group and walks in.

INT. SAINT JUDE’S CHURCH – BASEMENT

Entering into the basement, a meeting already appears to be underway. In the middle of basement are a circle of ten people. Elliot and Twyla are facilitating the meeting and the other eight are support seekers. 



Florida Man is welcomed by Twyla who grabs a chair for him as space is made in the circle. She then hands him a name tag sticker and a marker. Looking around the circle he sees a very diverse group of people all wearing name tags. Florida Man proceeds to write “Florida Man,” on the tag. 



Eddie, the more charismatic of the facilitators helps everyone to feel at ease. It seems as though the meeting is just getting started as Eddie reviews some rules with the group. 



Stu, Poe, Angela, Brenda, Jenny, F.M., Peter Cetera and Dani all go around and talk about the devastating loss they’ve experienced from the pandemic. Finally, we get to Florida Man and he explains that he hasn’t actually lost anything, and that he is here because a judge is forcing him to be there to avoid going to jail. Several members of the group ridicule him, but Eddie focuses on his honesty and calms down the group illustrating that there is a cosmic bond that unites them.



Twyla and Eddie have a disagreement and the Janitor emerges from the shadows sweeping the floors and making his presence known. Seeing the Janitor, the argument dissipates immediately making Florida Man suspicious as he watches the Janitor recede back into the shadows. 



The group takes a break and Eddie B-lines it for the restroom.

INT. SAINT JUDE’S CHURCH – RESTROOM

Elliot contacts someone we do not see and communicates the status of the experiment indicating that everything is going perfectly and alludes his goal of sabotaging the experiment and the fate of humanity.

ACT 4

INT. SAINT JUDE’S CHURCH – BASEMENT

“As the group comes back together, to Twyla’s disapproval, Eddie puts the focus back on Florida Man trying to get him to open up. Florida Man is very reluctant to talk about himself, especially since he is used to being on his own and blending in. Seeing that Florida Man is struggling, Twyla interjects and tries to help him, but Eddie overpowers her and insists that Florida Man lead a trust building exercise. 



Twyla becomes more irritated with Eddie as he explains the rules of the trust exercise. The majority of the group shows no respect to Florida Man, believing that he shouldn’t even be there, and as a result the trust exercise fails miserably having an overall negative effect.”

ACT 5

INT. SAINT JUDE’S CHURCH – BASEMENT

“This week’s meeting concludes and Twyla sends them off with a homework assignment and indicates that they will be meeting here every week for the next couple months. 



As everyone is leaving a few give Florida Man dirty looks, and others talk about him as if he weren’t there. Florida Man walks out ashamed.”

EXT. SAINT JUDE’S CHURCH – NIGHT

Angela, who has a deep fear of public speaking, empathizes with Florida Man and gives him a word of encouragement after the meeting and a cigarette. They talk briefly before Angela walks off and disappears in the darkness.

INT. SAINT JUDE’S CHURCH – BASEMENT

As the last of the group exits, Twyla calls Eddie out for his behavior. He seems uncaring and before he has to explain himself the Janitor approaches Twyla and Eddie and tells them to start prepping immediately for the next session. Twyla tells Eddie that she is unsure if she can do this, Eddie gives her some tough love, and tells her she has no choice before walking away.

INT. FLORIDA MAN’S HOME

Walking through his home, it looks like a crime scene. He’s a mess, and his life is a conspiracy-driven train wreck. He sits down at his computer and checks his email. There he finds an invitation from a conspiracy group indicating that there is going to be protest and the group is getting together to catch proof of a false flag operation. Florida accepts the invitation.

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Setting Up The Future

What I learned in this lesson is to streamline my setups so that they follow the primary action. Based on prior work I could have listed off 20-30 setups, but based on the theme, structure and genre of the story, I want to keep the action lean and moving. I believe I am on track to accomplish that.

Setup 1: How can altering the course of one event change the trajectory of mankind?

Setup 2: Who are Twyla, Elliot and the Janitor and what is their motive?

Setup 3: How did Elliot and Twyla get the group to attend these support group meetings?

Setup 4: Why did they choose Florida Man to lead the group?

Setup 5: Who is Elliot conspiring with?

Setup 6: Who tipped Florida Man off about the protest being a false flag event?

Setup 7: Is this group capable of saving humanity?

Setup 8: How will this group save humanity from extinction?

Setup 9: How can Twyla, Elliot and the Janitor see into the future?

Setup 10: What secrets are the group members keeping and how will they come to the surface?

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Adding Empathy/Distress!

What I learned from this lesson was that empathy and distress are good gauges from checking in on your plot and characters and making sure they are creating and furthering a story that is going to lock an audience in for the long haul.

I was happy to run through this exercise and feel confident that I have a good foundation to build on. There were a couple items I saw areas for improvement, but overall I could see that most of these empathy/distress variables were being taken to an extreme.

Crucible: The fate of humanity is in the hands of a group of strangers present at a protest

Betrayal: Eddie is secretly working against Twyla and the janitor

Forced Decision: Florida Man is forced to attend the support group or go to jail

Hurt those they love: The judge could be Florida Man’s brother or relative and the life choices that Florida Man makes and the disrespect in his courtroom could be hurtful.

Emotional Dilemma: Eddie must choose between helping mankind and working with Twyla and the janitor or turn against them and sabotage their plan ultimately guiding mankind to self-destruction

Exposed: During the trial we see what Florida Man does in his free time may be suffering from a mental illness, this is further illustrated when he returns home and we see the state he lives in

Must make a decision with future consequences: Despite the warning of violence, Florida Man decides to go to the protest and seek out the false flag operation that may be unfolding

Undeserved misfortune: During the protest innocent attendees are killed when it turns violent

External character conflicts: A group represents conflicting sides of political and idealogical beliefs who must come together to ultimately save humanity; Poe and Brenda are the leaders of two opposing groups at the protest; Twyla and Eddie are at odds with one another;

Plot intruding on life: Florida Man’s plans are derailed when he gets arrested forcing him to attend the support group meetings and being on house arrest

Plans that failed: Florida Man attempts to do what he believes is good for society and ends up getting arrested for it

Witnessing the pain of others: The group shares the losses they’ve experienced as a result of the pandemic

Extreme consequences: The actions of the group will directly impact the course of mankind, which is currently on a crash course toward extinction

Major loss: As a result of the pandemic many of the group members have lost family, friends, jobs or possessions

Brings their wound present: The purpose of the group is to bring people together who have lost during the pandemic to share and support one another

Make it more painful: Already dealing with personal losses of each character and the freedom of Florida Man

Raise the stakes: Already dealing with the extinction of human race

Create more loss: ???

Put any goal, need, value, wound at significant risk: Eddie’s betrayal alludes to possibility that the plan will fail, the protest will happen, and mankind will continue down its path of destruction

Time this to be at the worst moment: To Florida Man, who is on his own crusade, being arrested and forced to abide by the court order and attend a support group could be seen as the worst possible time. More specifically, Eddie also puts him in a position to exhibit leadership amongst the group at a time when he is not well liked (he’s the only one who hasn’t actually lost anything from the pandemic).

Make it more physically threatening: Everyone’s lives are already at stake

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Open Loops and Mysteries

What did I learn??? Travel and writing is tough! I’ve been on the road for the past month and I honestly thought I would be able to get in the headspace to keep up with these assignments–I was wrong. That said, I am back and feeling motivated to get caught up!

I started working on this lesson the day before I departed and wrapped it up yesterday. The big writing takeaway was how fundamentally important it is to write with a past and future in mind. I think this also serves as a gauge for how strong the act of the episode is. I noticed through this exercise that my act 4 may be a little weak in comparison to the other acts.

TEASER

Mysteries:

What prompted the protest?

Why are there so many groups protesting different things?

What is Florida Man there to do?

Who is responsible for starting the violence?

Open Loops:

What will be the outcome of the protest?

What long-term consequences will result from it?

ACT 1

Mysteries:

What is the nature of the experiment they are conducting?

Where did Elliot, Twyla and the Janitor come from?

Why would the Janitor choose Florida Man to lead the group?

Who are Twyla, Elliot and the Janitor?

How can they know about the future of mankind?

Why are they concerned about the fate of humanity?

Where are they physically located?

Open Loops:

What will be the result of the experiment they are conducting?

Are they here to help or hurt mankind?

How will their location affect how they will help mankind?

ACT 2

Mysteries:

What did Florida Man do to end up in court?

How was Florida Man trying to protect the community while committing crimes against it?

How does he know the judge?

Why does the judge cut him a break even after Florida Man casually disrespects him in his court?

Why does Florida Man plead non guilty when there seems to be an insurmountable of evidence against him?

Is Florida Man insane?

Open Loops:

Will Florida Man be able to abide by the judge’s ruling or will he end up in jail?

How will this situation help Florida Man with regards to his mission?

How will Florida Man’s mental health affect his decisions?

ACT 3

Mysteries:

Why did Elliot and Twyla organize a pandemic support meeting?

Why did Florida Man choose this support group? OR Why did the judge tell him to go to this support group?

Who is Elliot talking to about sabotaging the experiment?

What does Elliot mean when he says there is a cosmic bond that unites them?

Open Loops:

How will the loses that the group members have individually experienced help them come together?

How will the group react to Florida Man not being there voluntarily?

How will the cosmic bond of the group bring them closer?

ACT 4

Mysteries:

How can Florida Man inspire a group when he is reluctant to even open up to them and they blatantly show that they do not respect him?

What is the Janitor’s involvement here and connection to Elliot and Twyla?

Open Loops:

Will Twyla continue to be subservient to Elliot, or will she stand up to him?

What will result from the aggression that Elliot exerts over Florida Man and the group?

Will Florida Man notice the presence of the Janitor and his connection to Twyla and Elliot?

ACT 5

Mysteries:

Who sends Florida Man the false flag message when he gets home?

Why is the leader of the group posing as the Janitor?

How do they know the group will keep coming back?

Where does the group go when they leave the room?

What does the Janitor mean when he talks about the group being abducted?

Open Loops:

What will be the repercussions of the false flag message on Florida Man?

How will Twyla’s doubt about the experiment affect her behavior and decisions?

How will the group respond when they find out they’ve been abducted?

Will Twyla and the Janitor realize that Elliot is working against them?

[Tom Minier]

As a result of the past few lessons, I realized that my pilot episode was not engaging. It had elements that were strong, but the totality of it was not where it needed to be. I found myself holding back on the pilot in an attempt to keep the season and series intact. Finally, I came to realization that it will be the pilot that sells the show, so there is no need to hold back and new ideas will come regarding changes to the subsequent episodes. After really taking some time analyze and rebuild the pilot by going through all of the past module three lessons, I feel like I am on the path to binge worthy.

OUTLINE

TEASER

Essence: We weave through the crowd on both sides of the protest as the tension rises.

Florida Man Opening: Florida Man is at the protest seeking out the false flag but gets sucked into the violence

Florida Man Surface Layer: We see him searching through the crowd for something specific, he weaves through the crowd seeming unaffected by growing tensions and sings of impending violence

Brenda Surface Layer: Brenda is seen at a the protest with a megaphone, preaching about an ultra far-right way of living

Poe Surface Layer: As Florida Man passes by a group of people he hears Poe talking about how no one is to provoke violence, but if violence is brought to them they will respond

Angela Surface Layer: Angela is one of the very vocal protesters in the crowd holding a sing and screaming out against existential threats to the planet

Jenny Surface Layer: As Florida Man is crossing the street with waves of people, Jenny is stuck in her car trying to pass through. She gets out and yells out Florida Man as he passes by.

Stu Surface Layer: Stu is at the protest arguing about border reform and finishing the wall with another guy

F.M. Surface Layer: F.M. at the protest is white cis male and Texan who is struggling to take a side

Dani Surface Layer: Dani is trying to stop two people from fighting at the protest

Peter Cetera Surface Layer: At the protest Peter Cetera is protesting for social equality, especially for the LGBTQ population

Turning Point: The police begin to move in, gunfire erupts, chaos ensues.

ACT 1

Essence: Twyla and the Janitor are watching the riot unfold on an old TV. Elliot arrives and marvels at his body.

Story Surface Layer: The TV is just a TV and they are viewing an event unfolding

Story Surface Layer: They are in a church basement.

Janitor Surface Layer: He’s just the janitor listening to Twyla’s ideas about space and time.

Twyla Opening: Twyla is excited about the experiment and the opportunity to help humanity.

Twyla Surface Layer: Twyla cares deeply about this opportunity to help these people.

Elliot Opening: Elliot is self-absorbed with the sensation of being human, and less intrigued by the experiment

Elliot Surface Layer: Elliot is a narcissist.

Janitor Deeper Layer: The Janitor is actually running the experiment.

Twyla TP 1: The Janitor explains that he has already chosen who is going to lead the group. She is surprised and concerned by who he has chosen.

Elliot TP 1: The Janitor explains that he has already chosen who is going to lead the group. He is elated and applauds the Janitor’s choice.

Intrigue 1: Mystery: Twyla and Florida Man are watching the events of the protest unfold on the TV as if watching it live, but pause on a close up of Florida Man

Intrigue 2: Strange Behavior: Elliot arrives seemingly fascinated with his body.

Intrigue 3: Intriguing World: They are in the base of an old church.

Intrigue 4: Intrigue: Twyla and Elliot are talking about the events unfolding leading to the extinction of mankind

Intrigue 5: Secret Identity: The Janitor reveals that he has selected who will lead the group

Turning Point: They discuss that this event must be stopped or it will cause a domino effect that leads to the fall of democracy and the end of mankind.

ACT 2

Essence: Three weeks earlier: A lone wolf conspiracy theorist prone to making poor choices for what he believes are the best of intentions is arrested and faced with jail time. Representing himself, he strikes a plea deal with the attorney to do community service and attend a support group that will help the community. This leads him to a pandemic support group that will connect him with an unlikely family tasked with starting a revolution.

Florida Man TP 1: 3 weeks earlier: Florida is given an opportunity when representing himself in court, join and support group and do community service or go to jail

Florida Man Surface Layer: He is reckless, unstable, and aloof. He also refers to the judge by his first name.

Judge Surface Layer: Judge makes a comment during trial he represents the greatest problem with society: people thinking they can make a difference—this might as well be a trial for the whole of mankind—the judge is tired of seeing Florida Man in his court.

Janitor Deeper Layer: The judge has known Florida Man for a long time.

Intrigue 1: Hidden Agenda: Florida Man is defending himself in court because he doesn’t trust that an attorney will take him seriously

Intrigue 2: Accusation: the judge is reading off the list of crimes including trespassing, Florida Man pleads not guilty. He doesn’t acknowledge the boundary.

Intrigue 3: Accusation: the judge encourages to plead insanity

Intrigue 4: Strange Behavior: He keeps referring to the judge by his first name, which continues to irritate the judge.

Intrigue 5: Mystery: Florida Man refuses to disclose why he was trespassing, only citing that he’s trying to heal the community

Intrigue 6: The judge knows about Florida Man’s history and cuts him a break

Turning Point: The judge tells him that the only way he isn’t going to jail is if he does community service and joins a support group that actually does good for the community.

ACT 3

Essence: Florida Man meets Elliot, Twyla and the rest of the support group that will keep him out of jail.

Brenda Deeper Layer: Brenda reveals that she lost her father during the pandemic and is now trying to fill his shoes by taking over his “organization”

Poe Deeper Layer: As Poe is explaining what he lost during the pandemic he lost is faith in God, and will no longer be preaching

Angela Deeper Layer: Angela indicates that she lost any sense of hope in humanity during the pandemic

Jenny Deeper Layer: While discussing what was lost in the pandemic, Jenny indicates that she lost her job

Stu Deeper Layer: Lost his wife during the pandemic, but blames it on illegal aliens coming into the country

F.M. Deeper Layer: His family lost their farm during the pandemic and now he has set out on a new course to become a rapper

Peter Cetera Deeper Layer: Lost his grandmother due to complications with virus and is now seeking to follow his dreams of being a musician despite the shadow his name has cast on him

Dani Deeper Layer: Dani’s family has been torn apart by their opposing political stances and she’s been struggling to keep them civil.

Twyla Midpoint: Elliot exerts his influence on the group, bringing his motives into question.

Florida Man Midpoint: At the group meeting he meets the group that he will ultimately lead to revolution

Elliot Midpoint: Elliot is working with another group that is determined to sabotage the experiment causing the extinction of mankind

Elliot Deeper Layer: Elliot isn’t just self-interested, he is also conspiring against Twyla and the Janitor

Intrigue 1: Secret Identity: As the group enters that are given name tags, but many of them choose not to use their real names

Intrigue 2: Wound: Florida Man reveals to the group that he isn’t there because of loss but rather because if he didn’t come here he would go to jail

Intrigue 3: Hidden Agenda: Elliot reveals that the group has a cosmic bond that unites them

Intrigue 4: Intriguing World: Each group member reveals what they’ve lost and the person next to them needs to put a positive spin on it.

Intrigue 5: Conspiracy: Elliot consults a shadowy figure and alludes that he is there to make sure the experiment fails

Turning Point/Midpoint: Florida Man finds that each person has experienced loss during the pandemic that won’t allow them to return to the world they knew. Elliot reveals that he is going to undermine the entire experiment so that mankind terminates itself

ACT 4

Essence: Florida Man is reluctant to open up about his life as he is accustom to being on his own and blending in. Elliot suggests a trust building exercise.

Florida Man TP 2: The group shows Florida Man no respect when they find out he is only there because the court required him to join a support group and he believed the pandemic was part of a conspiracy

Florida Man Dilemma: Leave the group that the judge is requiring him to go to because he is being ridiculed or go to jail.

Elliot TP 2: Elliot sees his chance to push Florida Man before he’s ready and appoints him to lead the trust building exercise

Twyla TP 2: Elliot nominates Florida Man to lead the trust building exercise.

Judge Deeper Layer: When Elliot gives Florida Man the ultimatum to open up or get out the Janitor stops sweeping and Twyla’s attention goes to him immediately as if expecting an intervention

Elliot Dilemma: Betray is mentor or allow the humans to survive

Twyla Dilemma: Tolerate Elliot’s antics and potentially jeopardize the experiment or speak up and go against him

Elliot Major Conflict: Elliot needs to destroy any chance that Florida Man will succeed.

Twyla Major Conflict: She feels like she is losing control of the experiment to Elliot

Florida Man Major Conflict: Florida Man is given the first opportunity lead the group in a trust building exercise and fails exquisitely

Intrigue 1: Secret Identity: The Janitor is always in the background working and listening

Intrigue 2: Strange Behavior: Elliot pushes Florida Man, the person the group likes the least to lead them in a trust exercise

Intrigue 3: Strange Behavior: As Elliot becomes aggressive, Twyla turns to the Janitor, which Florida Man notices

Intrigue 4: Hidden Layer: The trust exercise is Elliot’s first attempt to discredit Florida Man as a leader and ensure that he’ll never successfully be able to lead the group

Intrigue 5: Wound: Being put on the spot backfires and Florida Man gains sympathy from one of the group member’s with a deep fear of public speaking.

Turning Point: Elliot and Twyla see the reluctance of Florida Man to participate personal information and in turn make him the leader of the group.

ACT 5

Essence: The conclusion of the first group session.

Florida Man Ending: Florida Man goes home and gets the message about a false flag event happening at an upcoming protest

Elliot Ending: Elliot seems happy that Florida Man is proving to be entirely incompetent

Elliot Deeper Layer: Elliot, Twyla and the Janitor are not human.

Twyla Ending: Twyla feels conflicted about the experiment unsure if this is even ethical

Janitor Deeper Layer: As the group leaves the room, the Janitor returns and tells them to start prepping for the second session—he is the architect of the experiment

Intrigue 1: Secret Identity: The Janitor emerges as the leader of the group when everyone leaves.

Intrigue 2: Mystery: The Janitor alludes to the group being abducted.

Intrigue 3: Accusation: Twyla calls out Elliot’s behavior as unacceptable.

Intrigue 4: Intriguing World: Florida Man returns to an empty home. He lives in an apartment that resembles a crime scene. Stacks of open books. Pictures on walls. Maps. An investigation is underway.

Intrigue 5: Conspiracy: Florida Man turns on the computer. A video is paused. He hits play. A man is talking about this theories on UFOs and aliens.

Lock In: The group walks out of the church and goes their separate ways. Inside the church the aliens allude to the group actually being abducted, as Twyla has concerns about whether she can keep this charade going. At home we see Florida Man is all alone, and his life is a conspiracy-driven train wreck. He checks out his computer and receives a mysterious email indicating that the protest is going to be a false flag event.<font face=”Helvetica Neue” size=”2″ color=”#000000″> </font>

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Layers and Reveals

If nothing else, I feel like I have a better understanding of how I want to structure my teaser. I was worried that my concept might be seen as cliche, but now I feel like I have really unique way to introduce the group and create a captivating opening. I came up with a couple more beats, further fleshing out the more vague concepts. I think one of the best things I can do at this stage is to go back to my example show and see how these concepts were incorporated in that pilot.

OUTLINE

TEASER

Essence: We weave through the crowd on both sides of the protest as the tension rises.

Florida Man Surface Layer: We see him searching through the crowd for something specific, he weaves through the crowd seeming unaffected by growing tensions and sings of impending violence

Brenda Surface Layer: Brenda is seen at a the protest with a megaphone, preaching about an ultra far-right way of living

Poe Surface Layer: As Florida Man passes by a group of people he hears Poe talking about how no one is to provoke violence, but if violence is brought to them they will respond

Angela Surface Layer: Angela is one of the very vocal protesters in the crowd holding a sing and screaming out against existential threats to the planet

Jenny Surface Layer: As Florida Man is crossing the street with waves of people, Jenny is stuck in her car trying to pass through. She gets out and yells out Florida Man as he passes by.

Stu Surface Layer: Stu is at the protest arguing about border reform and finishing the wall with another guy

F.M. Surface Layer: F.M. at the protest is white cis male and Texan who is struggling to take a side

Dani Surface Layer: Dani is trying to stop two people from fighting at the protest

Peter Cetera Surface Layer: At the protest Peter Cetera is protesting for social equality, especially for the LGBTQ population

Turning Point: The police begin to move in, gunfire erupts, chaos ensues.

ACT 1

Essence: 3 weeks earlier: At home we see Florida Man’s life, he’s an organized disaster, who’s life is revolving around solving conspiracy mysteries big and small.

Florida Man Opening: Florida Man is an incredibly intelligent and seemingly misguided individual who struggles to keep a handle on reality. He is entirely alone in the world he investigates searching for a deeper meaning behind the veil of conspiracy. By society’s standards, he’s a train wreck.

Florida Man Deeper Layer: We see him at home receiving a message regarding a false flag operation that is going to take place at a political protest

Turning Point: Florida Man receives a mysterious email alluding to an upcoming protest that is actually a false flag event.

ACT 2

Essence: Florida Man is in court defending himself for what feels like a senseless crime to everyone except him.

Florida Man Reveal: Florida Man has been arrested for an act where he was trying to expose a conspiracy and we learn that he has a history of unstable behavior all revolving around his conspiracies.

Elliot and Twyla Opening: Elliot and Twyla are inspecting the church basement and talking about the experiment. They are both students competing for a permanent staff position.

Elliot and Twyla TP 1: As Elliot and Twyla are talking about whether or not to use name tags, the Janitor appears and they both stop talking immediately. They both seem nervous around him. He grabs a broom and begins sweeping.

Janitor Surface Layer: We see the janitor sweeping the floor, but the mood of Elliot and Twyla changes dramatically when he appears

Florida Man TP 1: The judge gives Florida Man an ultimatum, community service and group support or jail time, he accepts the prior reluctantly.

Judge Surface Layer: Judge makes a comment during trial he represents the greatest problem with society: people thinking they can make a difference—this might as well be a trial for the whole of mankind

Turning Point: The judge tells him that the only way he isn’t going to jail is if he does community service and joins a support group that actually does good for the community.

ACT 3

Essence: Florida Man meets Elliot, Twyla and the rest of the support group that will keep him out of jail.

Group Surface Layer: The group has no connection to one another

Elliot and Twyla Midpoint: As the group arrives, Elliot establishes himself as the likable facilitator who likes to wing it, and Twyla is the “by the book” sidekick. Twyla begins to realize what she’s in for.

Florida Man Midpoint: Meeting the group, Florida Man is forced to interact with eight participants that he doesn’t know or trust, causing him to retreat.

Elliot and Twyla TP 2: Twyla and Elliot demonstrate that they can work together and get everyone to begin talking about the losses they experienced from the pandemic—everyone except for Florida Man.

Brenda Deeper Layer: Brenda reveals that she lost her father during the pandemic and is now trying to fill his shoes by taking over his “organization”

Poe Deeper Layer: As Poe is explaining what he lost during the pandemic he lost is faith in God, and will no longer be preaching

Angela Deeper Layer: Angela indicates that she lost any sense of hope in humanity during the pandemic

Jenny Deeper Layer: While discussing what was lost in the pandemic, Jenny indicates that she lost her job

Stu Deeper Layer: Lost his wife during the pandemic, but blames it on illegal aliens coming into the country

F.M. Deeper Layer: His family lost their farm during the pandemic and now he has set out on a new course to become a rapper

Peter Cetera Deeper Layer: Lost his grandmother due to complications with virus and is now seeking to follow his dreams of being a musician despite the shadow his name has cast on him

Turning Point/Midpoint: He finds that each person has experienced loss during the pandemic that won’t allow them to return to the world they knew.

ACT 4

Essence: Florida Man is reluctant to open up about his life as he is accustom to being on his own and blending in.

Florida Man TP 2: The group begins to share what they’ve lost. Florida Man feels like a fraud since he really only lost his freedom temporarily due to his choices, where others have lost loved ones, jobs, and hope. He retreats inward hoping not to have to participate.

Florida Man Dilemma: Seeing that he is not participating, Elliot raises the stakes, indicating that he not only needs to participate but he also needs to lead the group in the next exercise, or he will not be welcome back.

Elliot and Twyla Dilemma: To Twyla’s disapproval, Elliot gives Florida Man and ultimatum, step up, or step out.

Janitor Deeper Layer: When Elliot gives Florida Man the ultimatum to open up or get out the Janitor stops sweeping and Twyla’s attention goes to him immediately as if expecting an intervention

Elliot and Twyla Major Conflict: Twyla gives the group a trust building exercise that Florida Man leads with relative success, but they see that he lacks the ability to inspire the group.

Florida Man Major Conflict: Florida Man steps up when he recalls a memory that fear is false evidence appearing real in our minds. He leads the group on a simple first trust building exercise.

Group Deeper Layer: The first trust exercise (bad to good) is awkward and doesn’t go so well (Elliot’s idea), but Twyla’s exercise is executed better

Turning Point: Elliot and Twyla see the reluctance of Florida Man to participate personal information and in turn make him the leader of the group.

ACT 5

Essence: As the first session is winding down and Florida Man seemingly fails at inspiring the group, Twyla and Elliot offer a powerful piece of insight.

Florida Man Ending: Florida Man hears from Elliot and Twyla that the common bond of the group is that they are all seeking revolution, and wonders if it’s possible that they mean they all desire seeking the truth in the way he does.

Elliot and Twyla Ending: Twyla and Elliot tell the group that they are all here because they share a common bond: revolution.

Judge Deeper Layer: Elliot and Twyla tell the group that they were assembled because they are all pursuing revolution

Janitor Deeper Layer: As the group leaves the room, the Janitor returns and tells them to start prepping for the second session—he is the architect of the experiment

Lock In: Elliot and Twyla reveal that the group has a common bond, they are all craving revolution, but to each of them that means something different, and in order to achieve that revolution in their lives, they must learn to work together. The group all agrees, but for different reasons.

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Character Story Lines

I feel like my characters and setting are so tightly spun that the the majority of the events I am outlining apply to all the main characters. There were a few discoveries in terms of beats, but I felt like too many of the events were duplicates from different perspectives.

Florida Man

Beginning: Florida Man is an incredibly intelligent and seemingly misguided individual who struggles to keep a handle on reality. He is entirely alone in the world he investigates searching for a deeper meaning behind the veil of conspiracy. By society’s standards, he’s a train wreck.

Turning Point 1: The judge gives Florida Man an ultimatum, community service and group support or jail time, he accepts the prior reluctantly.

Midpoint: Meeting the group, Florida Man is forced to interact with eight participants that he doesn’t know or trust, causing him to retreat.

Turning Point 2: The group begins to share what they’ve lost. Florida Man feels like a fraud since he really only lost his freedom temporarily due to his choices, where others have lost loved ones, jobs, and hope. He retreats inward hoping not to have to participate.

Dilemma: Seeing that he is not participating, Elliot raises the stakes, indicating that he not only needs to participate but he also needs to lead the group in the next exercise, or he will not be welcome back.

Major Conflict: Florida Man steps up when he recalls a memory that fear is false evidence appearing real in our minds. He leads the group on a simple first trust building exercise.

Ending: Florida Man hears from Elliot and Twyla that the common bond of the group is that they are all seeking revolution, and wonders if it’s possible that they mean they all desire seeking the truth in the way he does.

Elliot and Twyla

Beginning: Elliot and Twyla are inspecting the church basement and talking about the experiment. They are both students competing for a permanent staff position.

Turning Point 1: As Elliot and Twyla are talking about whether or not to use name tags, the Janitor appears and they both stop talking immediately. They both seem nervous around him. He grabs a broom and begins sweeping.

Midpoint: As the group arrives, Elliot establishes himself as the likable facilitator who likes to wing it, and Twyla is the “by the book” sidekick. Twyla begins to realize what she’s in for.

Turning Point 2: Twyla and Elliot demonstrate that they can work together and get everyone to begin talking about the losses they experienced from the pandemic—everyone except for Florida Man.

Dilemma: To Twyla’s disapproval, Elliot gives Florida Man and ultimatum, step up, or step out.

Major Conflict: Twyla gives the group a trust building exercise that Florida Man leads with relative success, but they see that he lacks the ability to inspire the group.

Ending: Twyla and Elliot tell the group that they are all here because they share a common bond: revolution.

OUTLINE

TEASER

Essence: We weave through the crowd on both sides of the protest as the tension rises.

Turning Point: The police begin to move in, gunfire erupts, chaos ensues.

ACT 1

Essence: 3 weeks earlier: At home we see Florida Man’s life, he’s an organized disaster, who’s life is revolving around solving conspiracy mysteries big and small.

Florida Man Opening: Florida Man is an incredibly intelligent and seemingly misguided individual who struggles to keep a handle on reality. He is entirely alone in the world he investigates searching for a deeper meaning behind the veil of conspiracy. By society’s standards, he’s a train wreck.

Turning Point: Florida Man receives a mysterious email alluding to an upcoming protest that is actually a false flag event.

ACT 2

Essence: Florida Man is in court defending himself for what feels like a senseless crime to everyone except him.

Elliot and Twyla Opening: Elliot and Twyla are inspecting the church basement and talking about the experiment. They are both students competing for a permanent staff position.

Elliot and Twyla TP 1: As Elliot and Twyla are talking about whether or not to use name tags, the Janitor appears and they both stop talking immediately. They both seem nervous around him. He grabs a broom and begins sweeping.

Florida Man TP 1: The judge gives Florida Man an ultimatum, community service and group support or jail time, he accepts the prior reluctantly.

Turning Point: The judge tells him that the only way he isn’t going to jail is if he does community service and joins a support group that actually does good for the community.

ACT 3

Essence: Florida Man meets Elliot, Twyla and the rest of the support group that will keep him out of jail.

Elliot and Twyla Midpoint: As the group arrives, Elliot establishes himself as the likable facilitator who likes to wing it, and Twyla is the “by the book” sidekick. Twyla begins to realize what she’s in for.

Florida Man Midpoint: Meeting the group, Florida Man is forced to interact with eight participants that he doesn’t know or trust, causing him to retreat.

Elliot and Twyla TP 2: Twyla and Elliot demonstrate that they can work together and get everyone to begin talking about the losses they experienced from the pandemic—everyone except for Florida Man.

Turning Point/Midpoint: He finds that each person has experienced loss during the pandemic that won’t allow them to return to the world they knew.

ACT 4

Essence: Florida Man is reluctant to open up about his life as he is accustom to being on his own and blending in.

Florida Man TP 2: The group begins to share what they’ve lost. Florida Man feels like a fraud since he really only lost his freedom temporarily due to his choices, where others have lost loved ones, jobs, and hope. He retreats inward hoping not to have to participate.

Florida Man Dilemma: Seeing that he is not participating, Elliot raises the stakes, indicating that he not only needs to participate but he also needs to lead the group in the next exercise, or he will not be welcome back.

Elliot and Twyla Dilemma: To Twyla’s disapproval, Elliot gives Florida Man and ultimatum, step up, or step out.

Elliot and Twyla Major Conflict: Twyla gives the group a trust building exercise that Florida Man leads with relative success, but they see that he lacks the ability to inspire the group.

Florida Man Major Conflict: Florida Man steps up when he recalls a memory that fear is false evidence appearing real in our minds. He leads the group on a simple first trust building exercise.

Turning Point: Elliot and Twyla see the reluctance of Florida Man to participate personal information and in turn make him the leader of the group.

ACT 5

Essence: As the first session is winding down and Florida Man seemingly fails at inspiring the group, Twyla and Elliot offer a powerful piece of insight.

Florida Man Ending: Florida Man hears from Elliot and Twyla that the common bond of the group is that they are all seeking revolution, and wonders if it’s possible that they mean they all desire seeking the truth in the way he does.

Elliot and Twyla Ending: Twyla and Elliot tell the group that they are all here because they share a common bond: revolution.

Lock In: Elliot and Twyla reveal that the group has a common bond, they are all craving revolution, but to each of them that means something different, and in order to achieve that revolution in their lives, they must learn to work together. The group all agrees, but for different reasons.

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Pilot Structure

I learned in this lesson that my interpretation of past lessons may not serve me well, and therefore I may need to rethink my concept. I am hoping to be able to salvage the essence of this story, but my big reveals where structured to happen later in the story, not in the pilot. My goal is to add more layers to story so that the reveals I have in place can stay where they are, but that may sacrifice the bingeworthiness of the story. While I love the examples being offered, they do not fit the genre I wanted to write for. I wish this insight would have been better explained early on as it would have changed the nature of the story I chose to write.

TEASER

Essence: We weave through the crowd on both sides of the protest as the tension rises.

Turning Point: The police begin to move in, gunfire erupts, chaos ensues.

ACT 1

Essence: 3 Weeks Earlier: Florida Man is in court defending himself for what feels like a senseless crime to everyone except him.

Turning Point: The judge tells him that the only way he isn’t going to jail is if he does community service and joins a support group that actually does good for the community.

ACT 2

Essence: Returning home we see Florida Man’s life, he’s an organized disaster, who’s life is revolving around solving conspiracy mysteries big and small.

Turning Point: Florida Man receives a mysterious email alluding to an upcoming protest that is actually a false flag event.

ACT 3

Essence: Florida Man meets Elliot, Twyla and the rest of the support group that will keep him out of jail.

Turning Point: He finds that each person has experienced loss during the pandemic that won’t allow them to return to the world they knew.

ACT 4

Essence: Florida Man is reluctant to open up about his life as he is accustom to being on his own and blending in.

Turning Point: Elliot and Twyla see the reluctance of Florida Man to participate personal information and in turn make him the leader of the group.

ACT 5

Essence: As the first session is winding down and Florida Man seemingly fails at inspiring the group, Twyla and Elliot offer a powerful piece of insight.

Lock In: Elliot and Twyla reveal that the group has a common bond, they are all craving revolution, but to each of them that means something different, and in order to achieve that revolution in their lives, they must learn to work together.

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Amazing Inciting Incident

This lesson was much more difficult than I anticipated. I honestly believed writing this pilot would be easy, but I am seeing now that what I had in my mind was a very watered down version of what is necessary to be binge-worthy. The lock in was most difficult, because I didn’t want to reveal the abduction of the group until far later in the story, so I needed to come up with a reason why the characters couldn’t return to their normal lives. This lesson really has me questioning the trajectory of the pilot and the series. I really wish there were examples of a binge-worthy comedy being cited.

Intriguing Concept: Florida Man will lead a group tasked with stopping a violent uprising predicted to happen in the near future, which will lead to the fall of democracy and end the world as we know it.

Act 1: A lone wolf conspiracy theorist prone to making poor choices for what he believes are the best of intentions is arrested and faced with jail time. Representing himself, he strikes a plea deal with the attorney to do community service and attend a support group that will help the community. This leads him to a pandemic support group that will connect him with an unlikely family tasked with starting a revolution.

Midpoint: Florida Man meets the group that will take him from lone wolf to the leader of a revolution that ultimately saves mankind by following what he believes is a court order to avoid jail time.

Lock In: All of the characters, desperate for change, discover that if they can learn to work together, they will be given the tools to inspire a revolution.

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Big Picture Components

What I learned from this assignment is that I know my show well enough at this point that I really didn’t have to think terribly hard about these components. Additionally, coming back to brief descriptions after spending so much time wordsmithing gave me a different perspective from where I was developing the framework.

SERIES

World: A group of nine people abducted by aliens but believing that they are attending pandemic support meetings

Main Mystery: The nature and meaning of the violence that breaks out during a political protest

Impossible Goal: Stop a riot that is triggered when an active shooter opens fire at a political protest

Main Conflict: If they don’t stop the event, it will trigger the downfall of mankind. If they do stop the event they will be hunted by a shadow organization that knows no limits.

Second Mystery: How will Florida Man inspire a group of eight others to stop the protest from turning deadly?

Season 1 Arc: The group goes from chaos to order, working backwards we see how all the events climax at a moment of conception in the mind of Florida Man

Season 1 Protagonist Internal Journey: Florida Man goes from a hardened, lone wolf, conspiracy theorist to a leader who genuinely cares and feels connection to others

PILOT

Pilot Conflict: A tense political protest erupts into a deadly event

Characters Introduced: Florida Man, Twyla, Elliot, the Janitor, Stu, Poe, Brenda, Angela, Dani, FM, Jenny, and Peter Cetera

Inciting Incident of Season 1: An act of violence is at a protest is going to change each member of the group and alter the course of humanity

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Visually Appealing Bible

This lesson really got me thinking, or rethinking about my descriptions. The Rock Dad example was really helpful in giving me ideas about what was possible. I loved the creative use of well-known imagery, and the relabeling of it to avoid trademark infringement (i.e. Billbored Top 10). Very clever and intentional! I am a bit rusty in the Adobe creative cloud, but I have a ton of ideas that I am excited to try out.

[Tom Minier]

Toms’ Edited TV Pitch Bible

What I took away from this lesson is to carefully consider the audience that hope will read this story bible. What might they get hung up on? What makes sense to only me because I intimately know these characters, but might not be obvious to someone else? How can I make this easy and fun to read? I also made future notes, and have intention of coming back and doing another pass on the story bible after the pilot is written when I have a more firm grasp on the tone and pacing of the series.

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Episode Titles

What I learned in this lesson is that the search for a good title is a fun yet challenging prospect. I don’t think I am done with my titles, but overall I like the direction they’ve gone. I tried to tie them together with a common thread so that they tell a story and offer a familiar yet unique level of intrigue.

[Tom Minier]

Tom Presents Non-Stop Intrigue

After printing out and going through all the work line-by-line, in addition to some “less than intriguing” writing, I observed that there were multiple descriptions that were essentially duplicates. Effort was made to put a unique spin on overlapping material such as episode one and season one descriptions. Also, there was a significant development in one of my main characters that emerged recently and required elements to be updated. Overall, while this process was helpful, it was also very cumbersome. I still don’t feel like I completed the objective of utilizing the methods enlisted for intrigue optimally, but the project has become incrementally stronger.

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Intrigue Patterns

What I learned is that this is a good, albeit time consuming, way to wordsmith. This lesson also inspired me to put all the elements of the story bible together so that I could see the layout and how one could flow into another, lending some new ideas regarding presentation. Also, this lesson and its timing illuminated that I need a sustainable plan for writing while traveling. Being on the road for the next two months and trying to settle my mind to compose has proven tricky.

Original Line: The differences in their approach lead to squabbles that threaten the experiment, their careers, and the well-being of the planet.

New Line: Elliot charms the group with his charisma, wows them with his insight, and aligns them to his agenda: distrusting Twyla. What is his true motive? And, is there someone pulling his strings?

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s TV Pitch Bible Investigation

What I learned in this lesson is that the investigative process is iterative and that I need to organize the work we’ve done so far. I had one aha moment regarding two of the main character’s that I don’t believe should show up in season 1, but I haven’t rule it out. Essentially, Eddie, one of the facilitators of the group, is sabotaging the group’s efforts to save humanity. This will build out of his disagreements with Trish in the first season, but I think that the reveal is a slow burn, maybe even a season cliffhanger.

Another step I want to take is to put all of the story bible material together in a more readable format. I think that if I have put together I’ll be able read through it all easily and be less distracted.

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Show Summary

This summary came together fairly easily after spending an abundance of time working on the episodes. I am still struggling with the format of the series as the characters were designed for comedy, but the plot is feeling very dramatic (and ridiculous). Hopefully this on-going concern will resolve itself in future lessons.

GROUP

30 Minute Comedy?

Florida Man, a lone wolf, Conspiratorial Theorist, is drawn to a political protest because of a possible false flag operation. Arriving to the event, it’s like a powder keg awaiting a spark. Cultural divide. Whose lives matter? Politics in the name of God. Guns and babies. And then it happens, the protest goes from two sides standing off to people running for their lives. Active shooter.

Three months earlier: Nine people who will attend the protest come together for a support group to help those struggling with loss during the pandemic. Facilitated by two post-doc students, Eddie and Trish, they are committed to helping the group see a cosmic thread that binds them, despite having seemingly nothing in common other than their attendance at an upcoming protest that will turn deadly.

As the weekly group support sessions continue, the participants learn more about one another and demons they possess. Eddie and Trish, struggle to keep them civil, let alone focused, but hide the true nature of their experiment. Each session, the mental health of Florida Man continues to decline as he goes from paranoia to hallucinations, believing that he is the victim of mind control. When Poe and Brenda, the leaders of two opposing political interest groups, discover who one another are, a divide occurs in the room, pulling the group apart.

As the group threatens to disband, Florida Man has an epiphany, realizing that not only has he been abducted by aliens in the past, but that he and the group, are currently being abducted, and the world they are experiencing is all an illusion.

Reluctantly, Eddie and Trish pull back the curtain showing the group that Florida Man is correct and they are aboard an alien vessel. As the group struggles to accept this reality, the alien hosts explain the true nature of their experiment, indicating the upcoming political protest marks the defining moment in humanity that will start a domino effect leading to the collapse of democracy and ultimately the extinction of the human race, unless this group can come together and alter the events that will happen at the protest. To drive the point home, they foretell that Jenny, the kindest most innocent member of the group, will die at the protest.

The group struggles to accept this news, and they turn on Florida Man. As past memories continue to rush back to him of past abductions, and the weight of mankind’s problems pin down his shoulders, Florida Man finally snaps and has a nervous breakdown.

On the verge of collapse, the chaos silences, and the ultimate truth is revealed, Florida Man has been alone the entire time. The Janitor, an ominous figure who remains silent yet in the background throughout the story, emerges as the architect of the experiment. The Janitor explains to Florida Man that the other eight people do really exist and he must find them in order to stop the deadly event that hasn’t happened yet. Florida Man learns that he has been groomed his entire life for this moment, through a lifetime of abductions, and that he has the tools to inspire the revolution to change the course of earth’s history.

Returning to earth on the day of the protest with his memories intact, Florida Man scrambles to locate the other eight members of the group. Realizing that they have never met him, but that he knows all about their personalities, secrets, strengths and weaknesses, he concocts a plan. Florida Man finds a way to bring the group together and save Jenny, but the violence still erupts in a different way than it did originally. Watching from afar, Eddie, Tiffany and the Janitor are left in wonder.

Is the fate of humanity already sealed or is there another way to save mankind from self-extinction?

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Episode Descriptions

Ugh. This one was exhausting. I learned this time around how to start thinking about episode descriptions, and how to ultimately fill in the gaps. I’m surprised by much I struggled to fill in those blanks, but I am pretty happy with the rough draft outcome.

Ep. 1

When a political protest turns deadly, a spark ignites that will ultimately lead to humanity’s extinction. Florida Man, a lone wolf conspiratorial theorist, is drawn to the event because of a possible false flag warning. Arriving to the event, it is already on the verge of eruption. It is like a powder keg awaiting a spark. Cultural divide. Whose lives matter? Politics in the name of God. Guns and babies. And then it happens, it goes from two sides standing off to people running for their lives. Active shooter.

Three Months Earlier: Nine people who will attend the protest come together for a support group to help people struggling with loss during the pandemic, facilitated by two post-doc students. Trying their best to make everyone feel welcome and safe, Eddie and Tiffany try to tread water in a sea of awkwardness. Desperate, to bring the group together, Tiffany tells them that they are connected in a deep and profound way.

Ep. 2

The tragedy of the group is that they feel alone, but hope exists because they share a connection. Learning to see the strength they share in one another and by attending the group session, they begin to open up. Some share profound insight, others offer encouragement, and then there’s Florida Man, who pours himself out and just keeps on pouring.

Still struggling to see past their differences, Eddie and Tiffany help them deal with grief and sometimes discover the unique struggle each of them are experiencing. As the meeting is closing, Florida Man hears a comment that triggers a memory from this past week that feels false or forced.

Ep. 3

“Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.” Henry David Thoreau said that, Florida Man is living it. Florida Man’s insecurities take center stage as he struggles to admit his fears, falling victim to paranoia and threatening the success of the experiment.

Florida Man’s sharp decline from one week to the next begins to shed light on the overall mental health of the group. Using Florida Man as a scapegoat for their own issues, the begins to judge him unfairly, which leads to resentment and criticism. Eddie and Tiffany struggle to reign in the group. On the verge of losing control, Angela blurts out that she almost killed herself last night, but this group gave her something to hang on for, even if for just one more day.

Ep. 4

A cosmic bond begins to thread itself through the group. Still struggling to see their commonalities, they believe there is something connecting them to this group. Eddie takes the lead, creating some animosity in Tiffany as he helps Angela open up about her past, suicidal tendencies and her search for meaning.

Florida Man begins to trust Angela and leans on her as he begins to experience flashbacks of past abductions making him question the nature of reality. Florida Man ultimately turns his suspicions on the Janitor, an older man who has been working in the background tirelessly.

Ep. 5

The delicate balance of the group is not about influencing them, but rather giving them the opportunity to discover their potential. Where a thought can create worlds, a whisper can destroy them. While discussing music, Eddie shares his love for the concept of nostalgia and Florida Man realizes that his worlds can inspire or turn people against one another.

After FM declares his love for rap music, Peter Cetera takes offense claiming that it shouldn’t even count as a musical genre. When the group begins to poke fun at Peter Cetera’s name, Peter goes on the defensive and threatens to leave the group. Eddie talks him off the ledge, and helps everyone to see that they are on the same side. Eddie promises Peter that if he comes back next week he’ll give him the opportunity of a lifetime.

Ep. 6

He who tries to be everything to everyone will always come up short. Eddie and Tiffany realize that it isn’t about winning every battle with the group, but rather winning the war. To everyone’s surprise, Peter Cetera returns unable to resist the “opportunity of a lifetime” that Eddie promised. Believing that if given the opportunity he could out sing the real Peter Cetera on his worst day, he is given the opportunity to outshine the man who’s shadow he’s lived in his entire life. The real Peter Cetera enters the room as a guest of Eddie’s and they perform a duet/battle.

Tiffany becomes frustrated that Eddie did not consult with her about bringing in Peter Cetera, and Florida Man’s suspicions are reignited by the musician’s arrival. The group then learns about about the long and tense rivalry between Trish and Poe.

Ep. 7

A group divided cannot change. As the connection between Poe and Trish is revealed, the group begins to divide taking sides and creating a stark division amongst the group. Even Poe and Tiffany begin to verbally attack one another putting the fate of the group at great risk. As the Janitor just watches silently, Florida Man starts to interrogate his motives and presence deepening the concern of Eddie and Tiffany.

Dani steps in as a mediator, bringing her past into focus with the group. Tiffany becomes deeply concerned about the ethical constitution of what they are doing, but Eddie reminds her that they are running out of time.

Ep. 8

Eddie and Tiffany learn to tread lightly when waltzing through landmines. Becoming concerned about the potential long-term affects of their experiment, Tiffany and Eddie observe Florida Man take a turn from the worse believing that he and FM are actually the same person in two different times. Continuing to unwind, Florida Man starts connecting dots that no one else can see or understand.

FM steps up and tries to help him see that there is no way they could be the same person by sharing a personal experience and opening up about his deepest desire to be a rapper. Florida Man’s rambling takes a potentially violent turn, believing that someone is in his head and controlling his thoughts. Believing the integrity of their experiment is lost, Tiffany explains to the group that their connection is not a coincidence and they have a much deeper connection than they realize.

Ep. 9

Eddie and Tiffany admit that pandemic support isn’t the real focus, but that they are study human connection. Feeling taken advantage of, Poe lashes out and reveals his past and his leadership position in a far left group of activists. Florida Man’s paranoia climaxes causing him to relive past abductions, and Poe finds himself starting to believe that there may actually be something to Florida Man’s conspiracy rants.

Amongst the breakdown of the group, and the lack of trust surrounding Eddie and Tiffany, the group collectively decides that this is not working and next session will be the last.

Ep. 10

The experiment is on the verge of failure. The group is not coming together as Eddie and Tiffany had hoped. Most of the group has come to the conclusion that the meetings aren’t helping and wish to wrap it up.

As Stu is about to walk out, Florida Man has a moment of clarity and asks him a personal question causing Stu to go deep into a memory. While Florida Man makes an effort to help Stu, and pursue a path outside of his own interests, he is rewarded with an epiphany and realizes that they have been abducted and they are aboard an alien vessel right now.

Ep. 11

Florida Man puts all the pieces together and goes from being paranoid and possibly crazy to actually be right this entire time. Explaining that he can remember his past abductions now and how they all had a common element, the group is highly suspect of Florida Man.

Demanding answers about everything, Florida Man’s animated nature becomes aggressive until finally Eddie and Tiffany admit the truth. They are in fact aliens, and they are aboard an alien ship. The rest of the group goes ballistic, but Tiffany gets their attention and explains that they are all here because Jenny and many others are going to die if they don’t learn to work together.

Ep. 12

The group turns to Jenny, as she tries to make sense of what is happening. The gravity of the situation weighs differently on everyone, and the thought of somehow working together feels impossible, even to save Jenny. The group then starts to turn on Eddie and Tiffany, but they prove they are not lying by removing the false interior of the church basement and revealing the inside of the vessel. Tiffany explains that all their memories from week to week were manipulated and the moment they walked out of the door, they entered a trance and were eventually brought back in believing an entire week had passed.

Realizing he has been right and wishing he was wrong, Florida Man has gone from a hardened lone wolf to someone who cares about others. Trying to make sense of the situation, Florida Man finally buckles and has a nervous breakdown. Eddie and Tiffany pull back the final current revealing the full truth—he is all alone. The other members of the group fade away.

Ep. 13

Florida Man finds himself all alone with Eddie and Tiffany. He is terrified and begs to understand why this is happening to him. The Janitor sits next to him and explains his importance in upcoming events and that he must stop a deadly act of violence, which will cascade into what ultimately leads to the extinction of mankind.

Florida Man wakes up in his bed with his memories intact on the day of the protest. Getting up, he has evolved from a man who believed that corruption was out of his control and that it was easier to blend in, to someone who is ready to put his life on the line stop an event from turning deadly. Arriving at the event, he concocts a plan to find the others, but they have no recollection of Florida Man, since they were never actually on the ship with him. Florida Man realizes though that the illusions of them were accurate representations of their personalities, so while they don’t know him, he knows them.

Ultimately, he finds a way to bring the group together and save Jenny, but the violence still erupts in a different way than it did originally. Watching from afar, Eddie, Tiffany and the Janitor are left wondering if humanity’s fate is already sealed.

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Episode List Rough Draft

What I learned is really a reinforcement that process is everything. Interestingly, I found this lesson more challenging than the overview of the five seasons, perhaps because we are drilling down on specifics. I stretched my season one to 13 episodes, feeling that it would be easier to condense if I am lacking compelling material. Reluctantly, I am letting go that this story can be a comedy, and beginning to embrace that this will be a dramatic series that can hopefully have some strong comedic moments, similar to an Aaron Sorkin film or TV show. Another realization, is that I think I have a strong beginning and ending, but my middle episodes are still quite light.

Ep. 1

– In rapid fire sequence, we see all of the characters going about their day, most are preparing for the protest, others will be drawn to it, and a couple will accidentally find themselves there
– The protest unfolds and we see the nine characters and their involvement in the protest
– Civility breaks down and violence erupts leading to the death of Jenny
– 3 months earlier: We see the group showing up with a level of reluctance to the group support meetings in a church basement
– We meet Eddie and Tiffany, and the Janitor quietly keeps to himself
– They introduce themselves and why they need pandemic support, it is super awkward, so many won’t reveal their real names, others talk in abundance about themselves, some recognize one another as adversaries

Ep. 2

– In the second meeting the group returns and begin to share more about their past and what brought them to the pandemic support group
– Other characters start to open up more, trust is starting to form, but they are still in the “dating phase”
– Florida Man becomes suspicious of the Janitor who is always doing some kind of busy work in the background

Ep. 3

– Eddie convinces Florida Man to relax and open up and when he does the group immediately regrets it as he goes on tirade about conspiracy theories, he begins his journey starting as a lone wolf
– He also identifies that he knows who Poe and Trish are and begins to question the nature of this group
– Angela, the other clear black sheep of the group, helps calm him down forming the first alliance

Ep. 4

– Florida Man leans more on Angela as he begins to experience flashbacks of past abductions making him question the nature of reality
– Reluctantly, Angela reveals her past, suicidal tendencies and search for meaning
– Eddie and Tiffany look for opportunities to show commonalities amongst the group

Ep. 5

– Before the next meeting Eddie and Tiffany convene and compare notes, we learn that they are actually competing for a position with a professor overseeing their project; they must work together, but only one of them can get the job; they mention the importance of the experiment, but don’t explain its nature
– As the group begins to arrive Trish’s good nature takes a turn based on something that happened in the last week involving Poe’s organization (could be related to the protest, perhaps he’s counterprotesting)
– We learn more about her past and her affiliation with her organization

Ep. 6

– Florida Man continues to keep a close eye on the Janitor, creating concern with Eddie and Tiffany
– Peter Cetera’s past and insecurities come center stage
– Eddie and Tiffany explain to the group what is at stake for them

Ep. 7

– Eddie and Tiffany explain that the pandemic support isn’t the real focus, but rather they are studying human connection

– Poe finds it more than coincidental that this group came together, starting to believe that maybe their is more to Florida Man’s rants
– We learn more about Poe’s past and his leadership position on a far-left political group

Ep. 8

– Florida Man starts to unwind trying to connect dots feeling as though someone is in his head
– Florida Man’s ramblings about mind control make others concerned about his mental health, while Eddie and Tiffany become concerned about the integrity of their experiment
– Tiffany begins to fear that what they are doing is not ethical, Eddie reminds her they are running out of time

Ep. 9

– The rivalry between Poe and Trish heightens creating tension amongst the group
– Florida Man’s paranoia climaxes making some wonder if he has totally lost his marbles as he talks about past abductions

– The group as a whole becomes divided and it is clear people are taking sides
– Eddie and Tiffany are losing control of the group
– Dani steps in acting like a mediator for each side
– We learn more about Dani’s past

Ep. 10

– Reluctantly, the group comes together, some express that this is going to be their last session, unsure why they are even compelled to keep coming back
– Stu is on the verge of walking out when Florida Man starts asking him about why he came here in the first place
– Stu opens up about his past and his last week
– As he does so it triggers an epiphany in Florida Man who explains to the group that they are all in the middle of an alien abduction
– Eddie and Tiffany reveal that he is right (with the Janitor’s approval)

Ep. 11

– The cat is out of the bag and Eddie and Tiffany admit everything
– They go on to explain the significance of the protest and the truth about mind control pulling back the curtain that they aren’t in a church basement but aboard an alien vessel
– The group is in complete pandemonium
– Tiffany steps up and tells them that if they don’t come together, Jenny is going to die at the protest
– We learn more about Jenny’s past

Ep. 12

– The confusion becomes overwhelming amongst the group, there are so many questions being asked
– Everyone seems concerned about their own well-being and not about Jenny
– Florida Man tries to remind them that it isn’t about them right now, it’s about helping Jenny
– Everyone reveals their self-interested nature at their core
– The chaos and feeling that something still isn’t right about the situation sends Florida Man into a nervous breakdown
– Everyone in the room goes motionless as if time stopped and then disappears
– The Janitor emerges and sits down with Florida Man and explains that this has always been about his role and what he must do next

Ep. 13

– Florida Man wakes up in his bed on earth the day of the protest
– With his memory of the abduction fully intact he shows up at the protest and begins finding the members of the group, but they don’t know him, they weren’t really there
– With little time to spare, Florida creates a plan to disarm the tension between the opposing organizations that Trish and Poe lead
– Finding Jenny he gets her to safety, but the violence still happens in a different way
– Florida Man doesn’t understand what he did wrong
– Eddie, Tiffany and the Janitor watch from above questioning if humanity’s fate is sealed

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Five Seasons

I’m shocked, stunned, in awe and impressed. Come evaluation time of this module, this lesson will get an 11/10 in my book! I barely knew how the first season would unfold, and admittedly when I saw the subject line of this lesson, I was a bit intimidated. How could I possibly even guess where the story would go in five seasons? This lesson instructed me to ask all of the right questions and in conjunction with our past work, I was shocked at how it all came together. Of course it required effort, but not nearly as much as I speculated it would! Hat tip to Hal and Cheryl!!

SEASON 1: WELCOME TO GROUP!

How can an alien intervention alter the course of an event that will either lead to mankind’s extinction or set them free?

We start at the end. A big political protest is on the verge of eruption. It is like a powder keg awaiting a spark. Cultural divide. Whose lives matter? Politics in the name of God. Guns and babies. And then it happens, it goes from two sides standing off to people running for their lives. Active shooter.

Six months earlier. In the wake of the pandemic a group of nine join a support group for those who have experienced loss, led by two post-doc students. The group spans the socio-economic and political spectrum, but one lone wolf, a conspiratorial theorist who goes only by Florida Man becomes the unlikely focal point of the experience, transforming him from paranoid to enlightened as he learns his connection to the group and his higher purpose.

With each passing meeting, Florida man becomes suspicious of Eddie and Tiffany, the group facilitators, and an ominous Janitor who is always hanging around. His suspicious further trigger the re-emergence of erased memories of past alien abductions until realizing that these “church basement meetings” are in fact aboard an alien vessel, and the group are victims of an alien abduction. On the verge of a nervous breakdown, Florida Man discovers the ultimate truth… he is alone. The other members of this group are reflections of himself and people that he must inspire at the political protest in order to stop a deadly act of domestic terrorism from unfolding.

Returning to earth on the day of the event, Florida Man concocts a plan to bring the group together, and avoid unnecessary bloodshed. While the life of Jenny, a member of the group, is saved this time around, the violence erupts in a different way leaving Florida Man and the observing aliens wondering if the fate of humanity is inevitable.

SEASON 2: IT JUST GOT REAL.

Is mankind in control of its fate or is the future already written, and who is written by?

In the aftermath of a deadly shooting at a political protest, Florida Man sets out to find each member of the group and bring them together in the real world, which proves to be far easier for some than others. The experience from season one gives Florida Man an understanding of their personalities and how they will respond to one another, helping them see past their differences.

With the continued help of Eddie, Tiffany and the Janitor, Florida Man is able to inspire a group with seemingly nothing in common to follow him on his mission of uniting the world and saving mankind from extinction. As the group shifts from strangers to allies, however, their past constituents question their motives and they begin to lose the support of the organizations they were formerly a part of. Letting go of their past to join Florida Man’s revolution, the group is contacted by a shadow organization that Florida Man believed was just a myth with a cryptic message threatening their lives if they don’t disband immediately.

SEASON 3: THE REVOLUTION WILL NOT BE TELEVISED.

Will the group and their mission survive in the face of a threat by a force that knows no limits?

Realizing that their own power was an illusion, Trish and Poe, opposing leaders of right and left wing interest groups, relinquish their affiliation, effectively cutting themselves free of the puppet strings that were influencing their motives and actions. While freeing on the surface, this puts the group on the radar of the shadow organization that continues to halt the progress of their revolution.

Pushing forward, the group puts together a plan to trap a member of the shadow organization and turn them into a double agent, gaining insight into their operation. The plan works to a degree in that they gain powerful knowledge regarding the inner workings of the organization, but the shadowy foes have a nearly limitless reach, quickly realizing what happened, and eliminating their exposed vulnerability. Pushing the group into a corner at the brink of termination, the alien cohort decides to break their code of silence and step in, making a conscious choice to choose a side, saving the group.

SEASON 4: WE’VE BEEN WATCHING.

As the aliens reveal themselves, will they unite mankind to see them as an enemy or an ally?

As Eddie and Tiffany’s work with the Janitor foretold, humanity is continuing to spiral out of control. Violence, intolerance, and uprisings are flooding the news—and the media is loving it, further exacerbating the problem. The group begins to question if their fate is already sealed. Additionally, the exposure of the aliens has gone viral and now the world is reacting, further dividing the population. Reactions that the aliens are here to take over begin to dominate the human psyche.

Forced underground, the group struggles to find a new direction before all hope is lost. The Janitor makes a bold move and offers a gift to the human race as a gesture of good faith and promote their mission. This swings momentum temporarily in their direction until the full force of the shadow organization, which controls the world powers flexes it full strength, going against the grain of the wishes of the majority of earth’s population. The bravery of the alien group inspires other alien species also studying earth to emerge and join their cause.

SEASON 5: WE’RE ALL CONNECTED.

Can mankind’s fate be saved?

As additional alien species emerge, the group questions why earth is so important and even worth saving. The Janitor explains that everything is connected, not just on earth, but through the entire universe. What happens here affects the balance of everything, and the extinction of life on a planet has a dramatic impact in ways beyond our current ability to understand. The group becomes consumed by big existential questions. Can humanity really change? Can humanity co-exist with an alien presence? Can mankind undo thousands of years of conditioning?

The shadow organization has now fully emerged and visibly taken control of many world powers. This tyranny and the support of the alien species, allows Florida Man to lead the revolution to topple and take back civilization, ultimately bringing mankind into the next epoch of our existence, an interplanetary union and a new age of awareness.

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Character Descriptions

This was a challenging, but welcomed lesson after an epiphany in the final lesson of module 1. At that time I realized a new approach to the overall story, which rearranged my main characters. Two of my new main characters were not fully developed, so this took a little extra effort to get them up to speed. They still aren’t quite as developed as I’d like, but by spending time with them, I feel like I have pulled back a new layer to the story, which is always exciting.

Florida Man

A full-time conspiratorial theorist, Florida Man is a genius in his own way, who aspires to realize a deeper mystery of existence. He comes off as paranoid, but he is a resourceful and caring man, who practices the theories he preaches, frequently complicating his own life in pursuit of truth. Florida Man’s past (and real name) are a mystery that he holds tight in an attempt to stay “hidden in plain sight” from the evil empire.

After recently being arrested and facing jail time, he defended himself and convinced the judge to reduce the sentence to house arrest if he did community service and joined a support group. Once in the group setting, events trigger repressed memories causing him to believe that Eddie and Tiffany are controlling their minds, further leading him to believe that he’s been abducted by aliens. Whether the delusions of an unstable man or the repressed memories of a trauma victim, his antics lead him to the ultimate truth he is seeking.

Tiffany (formerly Claire)

An overachieving apprentice studying the relationship of space and time as it relates to human existence, Tiffany is the brains behind the execution of an alien abduction experiment. She has been groomed for most of her life for the opportunity to “handle” extracted humans. Brilliant, curious, and compassionate, Tiffany seems to know everything about this group and is obsessed with human quirks.

Once the experiment begins, Tiffany’s tone moves from helpful and altruistic to erratic and desperate, as she begins to question the ethical nature of what they doing. She must inspire the group to see the common bond between them before they are returned to their lives, and is competing with Eddie to be awarded permanent oversight the outcome of an event on earth that will lead to the downfall of humanity or set it free.

Eddie

An outspoken apprentice, Eddie is the easy-going and fun-loving counterpart to Tiffany’s analytical and process-driven nature. Everything seems to come easy to Eddie, and people naturally feel comfortable opening up to him, making him the perfect spokesman for the alien experiment. Using charisma, creativity and his fascination over what human’s call nostalgia, he taps into an emotional core that allows him to manipulate the subjects.

In competition with Tiffany, Eddie believes that his approach of likability is the key to getting human’s on track to realizing their connection to one another, and ultimately not becoming extinct through an impending war that can be traced to the event they are trying to stop. This approach opposes Tiffany’s “truth-seeking” model in that he feels mankind are more emotional than analytical. The differences in their approach lead to squabbles that threaten the experiment, their careers, and the well-being of the planet.

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Intriguing Concept and World

What I learned from this exercise is how to start fine tuning the broad strokes previously discovered into a more fine-tuned vision of the world of the story.

Concept

Nine people from different walks of life believe they joined a support group to cope with losses suffered during the pandemic

When they discover they have been abducted and taking place in an alien experiment

Where they discover their true relationship to one another

In an attempt to stop a fatal uprising that will happen in the near future.

World

Unique Sub-World: An alien vessel that creates the illusion of a church basement

Previously Unexplored: Learning how to co-exist from an advanced alien species

The Unknown: Why are the aliens trying to help? How the people will react when they find out they’ve been abducted?

The Unseen: The true nature of the experiment? How these people are connected in space and time.

Unheard of Dangers The group members have clashing beliefs and values

Reason to Explore it: Is fate pre-determined or is the future unwritten?

[Tom Minier]

Tom has completed the BW Framework!

What I learned is that I am still discovering this story. With the approach we are taking, it seems I am still very much learning what and who my story is about. The good news is that with each discovery the story becomes more complex and profound, which I believe will lend to its audience appeal and marketability. I am going to pass on feedback, with this last lesson my approach to the story has significantly changed and now I need to go back and make some big changes.

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Creating Irony!

What I learned… identifying 20 ideas for irony is challenging, but rewarding. In the process I came up with an idea for a plot twist that gives character irony to the three quarters of the cast and really solidifies the audience experience I am shooting for, AND offers the potential for some excellent comedic moments. This exercise also got me thinking about specific scenes and where/how that irony could show up.

ASSIGNMENT 1: The Good Place

Eleanor and Jason are not good people who find themselves in the Good Place

Chidi, and ethics professor, spends the entire first season making unethical choices to try to help Eleanor become a better person

Tahani who is obsessed with outshining her sister, dies when a golden statue of her sister falls on top of her

Eleanor, who has little moral fiber is matched as the soul mate of Chidi, a man with an overbearing sense of morality

Tahani, who is a socialite and never stops talking is matched as the soul mate of Jason who pretends to be a Buddhist monk who has taken a vow of silence to avoid being discovered

Michael compelled a town full of demons to pretend to be happy in order to have a new way of torturing four humans

Michael is a demon pretending to be an architect in heaven

The group believes they are in the good place, but have actually been in the bad place the entire time

Assignment 2: My Story

1 Character – Florida Man appears to be a regular person, but believes that the entire system is a conspiracy—he tries to look normal to avoid being discovered for knowing too much.

2 Character – Angela who is suicidal and joins the group to help convince her that there is nothing worth living for finds purpose.

3 Situational – Jenny who is actually the most innocent, unassuming, and alive member of the group is actually the keystone of the entire experiment and the one who will die in the attack.

4 Character – Claire and Eddie who are competing to be on the Janitor’s staff and facilitate the experiment, come to question the ethics and morality of the abduction and experiment.

5 Character – The Janitor, who is seemingly the least important person in the room, is actually the architect and overseer of this entire experiment.

6 Situational – The members of the group all appear not to be associated with each other in any way, but learn that they actually all share a very powerful connection.

7 Situational – The group believes they are there voluntarily but are actually abductees on a alien ship.

8 Situational – Each week (episode) the group believes they have experienced a week full of memories, but those memories have all been fabricated through mind control.

9 Character – REVEAL: Their identities have been switched, as part of the experiment to see how to empathize with one another their roles in the real world. Their actual memories are later returned to them allowing them to see both perspectives. This could create an irony in all the characters. The most humble become the most aggressive, and vice versa.

10 Situational – Claire and Eddie go from being the group’s greatest allies to their greatest enemies when the curtain in pulled back.

11 Situational – In order to try to stop an act of violence, the aliens discover that their efforts fail in an unexpected way (others act out in their place) leading the aliens to see that the problem is for more systemic than their experiment was prepared to handle.

12 Character – Peter Cetera’s driving force is to stand out from the crowd, but his deepest desire is to fit in. He attacks FM for not being a real musician, but actually wants to know more about him.

13 Character – Stu is an older guy who is always talking about wishing he could go “back to a simpler time,” but comes to realize that there was nothing simple about those times, only the naivety he carried.

14 Character – Trish is an unaware racist who comes learn how white privilege and close-mindedness has shaped her entire reality.

15 Situational – In order to get off the ship and return to their lives, they must let go of their pride, and ultimately see that they are all reflections of one another.

16 Character – In the opening sequence, Florida Man goes to a rally to try open people’s minds, by telling them why they are wrong, further isolating himself.

17 Character – In the opening sequence, Trish is rallying her people, telling them that she wants peace, and the only way to get peace is through guns and Jesus, and anyone who disagrees can burn.

18 Situational – FM is a gifted rapper who has nothing to rap about, so he puts himself in harm’s way to gain life experience.

19 Character – Angela, who is suicidal, continues to look outside of herself for a reason to go on, when the strength she needs is in her and accessible.

20 Situational – The moment the group understands how to help themselves and one another it is time to return to earth, but they must have their minds wiped of the experience.

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Plot and Character Layers

I went ahead and finished the first season of the show, because it’s binge worthy… and the episodes are short. In doing so, I believe it helped me see how the intriguing layers can be utilized so that the biggest reveal is the one that ends the series. This was also the case with the example of Westworld, which allowed me to experience this phenomenon in two very different ways.

ASSIGNMENT 1: The Good Place

Big Picture Layers

Plot Surface: The Good Place is a neighborhood in the afterlife designed to reward a very select group of humans who have earned their place in the afterlife. They can have more or less anything they want, and do what they please.

Layer 1: Sabotage: The residents appear to have everything they want… almost. There are facets of the good place that just aren’t quite right. Like frozen yogurt shops everywhere. Also, every time that Eleanor does something that doesn’t vibe with the good place, some sort of chaos erupts, such as flying giant shrimp when she takes more than she needs of the shrimp cocktail.

Layer 2: Conspiracy: Eleanor and Chidi immediately, and later Jason and Tahani are all conspiring to keep Eleanor and Jason off the radar as it is clear they have not earned their spot in the good place.

Layer 3: Mystery: The mystery is how did the mistake of Eleanor and Jason happen in what is hailed as an infallible evaluation system.

Layer 4: Future Consequences: Things continuously are not adding up and ultimately Eleanor realizes that they are all in fact the in the Bad Place. Michael confesses and tells them that this entire world was created for just the four of them and all the other residents are actually demons in on the scheme. He explains that next time he’ll make it harder for them to find each other. Eleanor scrambles and leaves herself a note with Janet. With the snap of a finger, their minds are erased and they start over as if it were day one, ending the first season.

Character Layers – Michael

Character Surface: Michael is the architect of the Good Place Neighborhood. This is his first neighborhood so he is very involved and engaged and seems emotionally invested in making this a great experience for everyone.

Layer 1: Hidden Agenda: Michael has created this neighborhood for just four people with the intention that they will torture themselves, as they continue to think they belong in the good place.

Layer 2: Hidden Character History: If Michael fails he will be forced to resign which basically means he will be tortured for the remainder of existence. His idea for the good place is also very different from what is typically done by demons so they are very skeptical of his idea being successful.

Layer 3: Secret Identity: Michael is actually a demon.

Layer 4: Competition: Michael is competing with the four humans in the afterlife to keep them from realizing where they really are, and with his peers to prove himself as an architect.

ASSIGNMENT 2: My Show

Plot Surface: Group is a weekly support group that takes place in a church basement helping individuals struggling with loss from the pandemic.

Layer 1 – Sabotage: Florida Man has been abducted in the past multiple times. With each episode he is able to piece together subtle moments from those past experiences allowing him to ultimately wake up from illusion they are all living under.

Layer 2 – Conspiracy: Claire and Eddie have created a world that feels real for the human occupants so that they can study their behavior and attempt to modify their identities and beliefs.

Layer 3 – Mystery: Why is this experiment so important to the aliens?

Layer 4 – Hidden Agenda: The aliens (Claire, Eddie and the Janitor) are experimenting on the group to determine if they can help humanity see that they are all reflections of one another and ultimately prevent a tragic incident from unfolding.

Layer 5 – Future Consequences: When they are returned to earth, we see them at the protest. The event is happening as it did in the beginning of the series, all the characters are in their original positions, but there is a sense of recognition. Before things turn ugly Poe and Trish “see one another” and stand down, resulting in Jenny being able to continue living. Not sure how to make this a cliffhanger that will lead into season 2 yet…

Character Surface: The Janitor seems to simply be the janitor, minding his own business, but always present.

Layer 1 – Hidden Agenda: The Janitor employed his students Claire and Eddie to conduct an experiment to try to help change the outcome of a terrible event and break a chain in violence that will ultimately lead to mankind’s demise.

Layer 2 – Hidden Character History: The Janitor once tried to save another planet on a similar trajectory and failed because they waited to intervene until it was too late.

Layer 3 – Secret Identity: The Janitor is an extra-terrestrial professor.

Layer 4 – Wound: The Janitor is trying to reconcile his past failure.

Layer 5 – Competition: The Janitor is competing with mankind, in hopes of getting them to move past their biases and begin to see one another as not just equals, but the same.

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Big Picture Open Loops

What I discovered is that the loops act like setup/payoff chains allowing you to keep pushing a question further and building its intensity. I’m trying not to get ahead of myself, but this lesson is also an eye-opener that I have my first season starting and ending point, but I have no idea how I am going to connect those dots. I’m also questioning if this story is still a comedy.

ASSIGNMENT 1:

Think about your Example Show. Make a list of the Big Picture open loops that were established early in the season.

Big Picture Open Loops:

How did Eleanor get to the Good Place?

Will Eleanor get caught?

What implication will there be for Chidi’s help?

Is the Good Place really good?

Will Jason blow Eleanor’s cover?

Can Eleanor actually become a good person?

Are Eleanor and Chidi actually soul mates?

2. Watch the next episode and see how those open loops are being used to create the need to see future episodes.

Eleanor exposes herself as a fraud, and now the question becomes what to do with her?

With Eleanor’s admission, Michael starts to search for a reason why Eleanor was misplaced?

Although Eleanor has opened up, Jason’s true identity is still unknown to Tahani and Michael, leading the audience to wonder how long that can last and what the repercussions will be?

Eleanor and Chidi’s relationship strengthens and weakens creating curiosity to whether or not there is actually chemistry there

Eleanor seems to be making gains and learning something from her ethics classes, but will it be enough?

ASSIGNMENT 2:

Use this list to brainstorm big picture open loops for your first season that you will use to keep the audience captivated.

2. Tell us your top 5-8 Big Picture Open Loops that could be in your pilot.

Will the group realize they’ve actually been abducted by aliens?

Will the group recognize one another, and if so, what will happen?

Will Claire and Eddie succeed in their experiment of trying to get the group to see their connection to one another?

Will the protest result in the same bloody outcome after the intervention?

Why do the aliens care so much about what happens to the humans?

Who is the janitor, and why is he always present?

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Show Mysteries

What I learned in the is exercise is the two-part mystery process. I feel like my choices may change, but seeing this framework helps me to set the story in motion and keep it in motion. This lesson also helped me see what the opening sequence of the show could be.

ASSIGNMENT 1:

The Good Place

MYSTERY 1: ELEANOR

Shocking Event: Despite an infallible system that places people in their appropriate location, Eleanor, a not so good person, arrives in the Good Place

<div>

Secret: Who is Eleanor really, and why did she get misplaced?

Investigation: The audience is set up to learn who Eleanor really is and where she actually belongs

WHAT: Eleanor incessantly schemes for a way to stay in the Good Place

WHEN: After her death

WHERE: The Good Place

What we don’t know that causes the mystery:

WHY: Did the mistake occur?

WHERE: Does she actually belong?

WHEN: Will the truth be uncovered about who she really is?

HOW: Will she continue to maintain her secret and stay in the Good Place?

WHAT: Will be the repercussions for her dishonesty and what will become of those who try to help her?

MYSTERY 2: THE GOOD PLACE

Cover Up: As Eleanor continues to live in the Good Place, anomalies occur that threaten the existence of the other residents. </div><div>

Secret: The rules that govern the Good Place, and whether it is really good.

Reveals: Beginning with Eleanor confiding in Chidi, we start to learn about who Eleanor really was in her past life through her explanations and flashbacks. We then learn that Jason doesn’t belong in the Good Place either. There are also questions regarding Tahani’s character and past.

WHO: The neighborhood was build by Michael, who lives in the neighborhood although the architect isn’t suppose to interact with the residents

WHAT: Is causing the Good Place to break and rebuild itself.

WHEN: This neighborhood was finished by Michael recently although he was building it for a very long time

Missing:

WHY: Do so few people get to come to the Good Place?

WHAT: Is the Bad Place?

HOW: Does the Good Place interact with the Bad Place?

WHERE: Do people go when they get kicked out of the Good Place?

ASSIGNMENT 2:

Shocking Event Mystery

A. Shocking Event: We start at the end. A big political protest on the verge of eruption. It is like a powder keg awaiting a spark. Cultural divide. Racism. Politics in the name God. Guns. And then it happens, it goes from two sides standing off to people running for their lives. Active shooter.

B. Secret: The event hasn’t happen yet. It represents what is coming.

C. Investigation: The “group” is on trial for their role in society and an event that has happened yet. The audience is set up to learn how these people become participants in a deadly confrontation.

WWWWW and How:

Who: The group spans the political spectrum, from right to left, radical to oblivious, and have varying degrees of involvement but are all implicated </div><div>

When: An event that will happen six months from now

Where: An organized protest happening in a major city

Part Withheld:

What: Were the events the sparked the protest and the violence? </div><div>

How: Do all these people come together?

Why: Does the event get out of control?

Over Time Mystery

A. Cover up: The group has actually been abducted. They are not meeting in a church basement, but rather their reality and sense of time are being manipulated. What they believe are weekly meetings are actually an ongoing experience with “memories” of their week implanted based on the typical routines of the characters.

B. Secret: The aliens (Claire, Eddie and the Janitor) are experimenting on the group to determine if they can help humanity see that they are all reflections of one another

C. Reveals: Florida Man is the first one to question this reality as he recaps events of the previous week realizing that something is off. He ultimately discovers that this isn’t his first abduction.

D. WWWWW and How:

Who: The abduction is the result of a carefully orchestrated cast of characters who will be implicated in a tragic and violent political protest organized by Claire, Eddie and overseen by the Janitor </div><div>

What: The abduction is designed to test whether human’s can find their common ground and ultimately avoid a deadly confrontation

Where: The abduction is happening on an alien vessel, but through mind manipulation it looks like a church basement

E. Part Withheld:

When: They were abducted to stop an event that hasn’t happened yet </div>

Why: Because mankind is on a trajectory that will lead to its demise, this is experiment is being conducted to see if there is any hope for the species and the planet

<div>

How: Ultimately, the group will be released and although their memories will be wiped, the hope is that something fundamental will change inside them. On the day of the event, the group will see one another, truly see one another, and avoid the violent confrontation.

</div>

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Show Empathy/Distress

What I observed from this lesson is that the character work we are doing is building into plot work. I could see how the other exercises that allowed me to experiment with different relationship patterns, led to pulling out some of the better choices, equating here to broad strokes of empathy and distress.

ASSIGNMENT 1:

Big Picture Empathy/Distress Situations in The Good Place:

Eleanor was incorrectly placed in the Good Place

Jason was also misplaced in the Good Place but is far less bright/cunning than Eleanor putting both the soul’s of he and Eleanor at risk

Eleanor was matched up with Chidi as her soul mate meaning that he cannot actually meet his real soul mate

Chidi has decided to help Eleanor become a better person thus putting his ability to stay in the good place in jeopardy

Tahani doesn’t even know that Jason (her soul mate) is a fraud and is constantly trying to get him to open up

Every time Eleanor does something in line with the values of the good place it causes an environmental catastrophe placing other residents of the neighborhood in danger

Unable to determine the route of the problem, Michael blames himself and decides he must retire (which in this world means an eternity of torture)

ASSIGNMENT 2:

My Show:

Undeserved misfortune – all of the group members are there because they are experience a profound loss directly or indirectly from the pandemic

External character conflicts – Eddie and Claire are conducting an experiment on the group without them realizing it, forcing characters with conflicting opinions to find common ground

Plot protruding on life – Claire and Eddie are trying to see if they can alter a future incident where Jenny will die as an innocent bystander caught in the cross fire when a political protest becomes violent. The major players of the incident, who are assembled in the group, are diametrically opposed to helping one another

Moral dilemmas – If Trish and Eddie can’t find common ground it will ultimately result in Jenny’s life; they are forced to sit directly across from their future victim

Forced decisions they’d never make – Florida Man, Angela, FM, and Jenny are forced to take a stand in their personal lives, and become players in the fate of Jenny’s life at a place and time they would have otherwise just been observers.

Undeserved misfortune – Jenny finds out she is going to die at some point in the near future for something she had no part in

Forced decisions they’d never make – Trish and Eddie must put their differences aside to stop a riot from occurring at their competing protests

Undeserved misfortune – Florida Man realizes that he has been abducted in the past as a result of being aware of that he is currently in the middle of an abduction

Moral dilemmas – Florida Man must decide whether to tell the rest of the group that they have been abducted

Plot protruding on life – When Florida Man does tell the group they must decide if they believe a man who has been on a tirade since they met about conspiracy theories

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Show Relationship Map

What I learned… I coined a type of subtext called “cosmic siblings,” and I am really excited to see how that unfolds. Additionally, I feel like I am starting to see plot points emerge in new ways by exploring how these characters connect.

ASSIGNMENT 1: The Good Place

Eleanor & Chidi

Surface: Soul Mates

Common Ground: Live together

Conflict: Chidi is a good person and belongs in the good place, Eleanor was placed there wrongly

History: Chidi has agreed to teach Eleanor how to be a good person

Subtext: Conspirators

Relationship Arc: They go from being told they are soul mates, to Chidi being forced to helped Eleanor stay there even though it means he’ll never actually meet his real soul mate

Eleanor & Jason

Surface: Friends

Common Ground: Neither of them actually belong in the good place

Conflict: Jason is an idiot and risks getting both of them sent to the bad place

History: Jason “discovered” that Eleanor doesn’t belong there and they are trying to figure out how to stay in the good place

Subtext: Conspirators

Relationship Arc: Jason and Eleanor had no relationship while Jason was pretending to be a Buddhist monk taking a vow of silence, but once he discovered her they have been allies trying to figure out how to beat the system

Eleanor & Michael

Surface: Mentor/Mentee

Common Ground: This is Michael’s first attempt at building a neighborhood and this is Eleanor’s first in the afterlife

Conflict: Eleanor is hiding the truth about who she really is from Michael

History: Michael is the first person Eleanor (and everyone meets) when they arrive in the good place, he has been a guide for her helping her get acclimated

Subtext: Michael is a supreme being and Eleanor is a below-average human who is trying to get the upper hand on him

Relationship Arc: As Eleanor’s presence continues to threaten the neighborhood, Michael unknowingly recruits her to be his assistant to get to the bottom of the anomaly

ASSIGNMENT 2: My Show

Florida Man and Trish

Surface: Fellow support group member

Common Ground: Share some beliefs regarding their distrust of the gov’t

Conflict: Florida Man sees Trish’s far right views as half the problem

History: Florida Man has been to some of Trish’s rallies observing and coming to his own conclusions about the state of the union

Subtext: Untrusting Allies

Relationship Arc: Florida Man becomes a common ground for the feud between Trish and Poe

Florida Man and Poe

Surface: Fellow support group member

Common Ground: Share some beliefs regarding their distrust of the gov’t

Conflict: Florida Man sees Poe’s far left views as the other half of the problem

History: Florida Man has been to some of Poe’s rallies observing and coming to his own conclusions about the state of the union

Subtext: Untrusting Allies

Relationship Arc: Florida Man becomes a common ground for the feud between Trish and Poe

Florida Man and Janitor

Surface: Watchful observers of one another

Common Ground: The Janitor has abducted Florida Man in the past

Conflict: Florida Man suspects that the Janitor is more than meets the eye

History: Florida Man has participated in the Janitor’s experiments and although he’s had his memory wiped, fragments have remained from the experience

Subtext: Teacher/Student

Relationship Arc: Florida Man goes from being suspicious of the Janitor to realizing through him that this isn’t his first abduction

FM and Angela

Surface: Fellow support group member

Common Ground: While on different ends of the spectrum they are both misfits of the group in terms of there appearance

Conflict: Angela pushes everyone away and comes off as dismissive and rude

History: Their history begins when they meet at the support group

Subtext: Cosmic siblings

Relationship Arc: FM and Angela start off at odds because of Angela’s standoff nature but eventually grow into a protective sibling relationship

FM and Peter Cetera

Surface: Fellow support group member

Common Ground: Both are musicians

Conflict: Peter Cetera attempts to claim territorial dominance over everyone, and pushes extra hard when FM says he’s a musician

History: Their history begins when they meet at the support group

Subtext: Rivals

Relationship Arc: FM and Peter Cetera get started on very turbulent waters and things get worse before a certain level of respect develops

FM and Jenny

Surface: Fellow support group member

Common Ground: Jenny is homeless and FM recently lost his family home

Conflict: FM feels conflicted with Jenny in the sense that he feels an immediate attraction but she seems uninterested

History: Their history begins when they meet at the support group

Subtext: Lovers

Relationship Arc: FM and Jenny start as friends who just so happen to sit next to each other in group and grow to genuinely care about each other

Claire and Eddie

Surface: Co-collaborators of the group

Common Ground: They are both running the experiment and not from earth

Conflict: Eddie and Claire are in competition for a fellowship with the Janitor

History: Eddie and Claire are long-time rivals and were top students of the Janitor

Subtext: Rivals

Relationship Arc: Eddie and Claire start as competitors and develop a high level of respect brining them together at the conclusion of the experiment

Claire and Janitor

Surface: Unconnected to anyone

Common Ground: The Janitor is Claire’s mentor and oversees the entire experiment

Conflict: Claire questions the ethics behind the Janitor’s experiment

History: The Janitor is Claire’s teacher

Subtext: Mentor

Relationship Arc: Claire becomes distrustful of the Janitor, ultimately to realize that his wisdom and heart were true

Claire and Jenny

Surface: Jenny is one of the group getting support from Claire and Eddie

Common Ground: Jenny is the centerpiece of the entire experiment

Conflict: Claire and Eddie must ultimately tell Jenny that she is going to die

History: Studying the space/time relationship and human violence that have seen Jenny’s entire life unfold

Subtext: Guinea pig

Relationship Arc: Jenny goes from just being another of Claire’s attendees to the focal point of the entire experiment

[Tom Minier]

<div>Tom’s Character Emotions</div>

I was surprised by how easy this these personality traits came through. I credit it to last lesson really forcing me to know who these characters are and where they are going. This lesson helped gain a deeper understanding of who each of my characters and gave me ideas for how they can build each other up and break one another down.

ASSIGNMENT 1: Example Show

Watch the next episode of your Example Show and create an Emotional Profile for two or three main characters in this show.

Show: The Good Place

Character: Eleanor

Hope/Fear:

Hope – To stay in the good place

Fear – Being discovered as a fraud

Want/Need:

Want – To be accepted

Need – To become a better person

Base Negative Emotion/Public Mask:

Base Negative Emotion – Jealousy

Public Mask – Cool, calm and collected

Weaknesses:

Compulsive, narcissistic, ego-driven

Triggers:

Feeling as though someone else is better than her

Coping Mechanism:

Manipulation, drags them down to her level

Character: Jason

Hope/Fear:

Hope – To stay in the good place

Fear – Being discovered as a fraud

Want/Need:

Want – To fit in

Need – To be himself

Base Negative Emotion/Public Mask:

Base Negative Emotion – Weak or inadequate/depressed

Public Mask – Buddhist monk

Weaknesses:

Not very bright, no ambition

Triggers:

Being told he can’t be himself

Coping Mechanism:

Acting out, rebelling

ASSIGNMENT 2: My Show

Poe

Hope: Equality, fairness

Fear: Status quo, tedium

Want: To be heard

Need: To be respected

Base Negative Emotion: Anger

Public Mask: Street soldier

Weakness: Singular focus, intolerant, can’t accept failure

Triggers: Racism, inequality

Coping Mechanism: Strategize, revenge

Angela

Hope: To find a reason for living

Fear: Her life is insignificant and not worth living

Want: To find a purpose

Need: To see that there is good in the world

Base Negative Emotion: Hopelessness

Public Mask: Tough and uncaring

Weakness: Feels worthless, disconnected, physical pain

Trigger: Seeing people being taken advantage of and watching resources be wasted

Coping Mechanism: Lash out, reckless behavior, witchcraft, sticking up for others

Peter Cetera

Hope: To be recognized as a musical genius

Fear: Dying a nobody

Want: Fame and success

Need: To be accepted

Base Negative Emotion: Self-doubt

Public Mask: Overconfidence

Weakness: Narcissist

Triggers: Anything that threatens his image

Coping Mechanism: Puts others down

Dani

Hope: People can be more tolerant of one another

Fear: Society is becoming more polarized

Want: Everyone to get along

Need: To take a stand

Base Negative Emotion: Frustration, anxiety

Public Mask: Moderator Avoid confrontation

Weakness: Disrespect, being told she is a push over

Coping Mechanism: Helping others

FM

Hope: To become a rapper and be able to support his family

Fear: No one will take him seriously

Want: To help his family recover their farm

Need: To believe in himself

Base Negative Emotion: Fear

Public Mask: Texas gentleman

Weakness: Obsessive

Triggers: Being told he can’t do something

Coping Mechanism: Works harder

Stu

Hope: He still has a place in the world, relevance

Fear: He is being left behind, obsolete

Want: To return to a simpler time

Need: To accept a changing world and grow with it

Base Negative Emotion: Loneliness

Public Mask: Survivor, he has it all together

Weakness: Stuck in his ways, unwillingness to change

Triggers: When others tell him to get with the times

Coping Mechanism: Withdraws

Trish

Hope: A world that aligns with her values

Fear: The invasion of people that don’t look/think like her

Want: To be right/power

Need: Dominance

Base Negative Emotion: Anger

Public Mask: Charming, engaging, team mom

Weakness: Lacks compassion, sympathy and empathy; intolerant

Triggers: Anything that goes against her world view

Coping Mechanism: Becomes venomous

Florida Man

Need: The world will awaken to a higher level of consciousness

Fear: The world will continue to become more polarized and continue on it’s trajectory

Want: To be right

Need: To trust others

Base Negative Emotion: Apathy

Public Mask: Charismatic, care free

Weakness: Detached from reality

Triggers: When others dismiss what he considers profound wisdom

Coping Mechanism: Insulting others, acting out

Jenny

Hope: To find a job

Fear: She can’t be independent

Want: Not to be homeless

Need: To find purpose

Base Negative Emotion: Despair

Public Mask: Laid back, go with the flow

Weakness: Doesn’t like to speak up or inconvenience people

Triggers: Watching others be put down

Coping Mechanism: Shut down

• This reply was modified 3 years ago by  Tom Minier.

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Intriguing Character Layers<div>

I completed the lesson and wasn’t thrilled by my results. I realized that I was just making up stuff about these characters, that was interesting, but not necessarily relevant to the story. The eye-opening moment occurred when I realized that I didn’t know where the story was going and therefore couldn’t illustrate hidden agendas, competitions, and conspiracies that would be meaningful to the characters and drive the story forward.

After putting some time into the bigger story, and then answering these questions, not only did the story expand into areas I hadn’t even considered, but also some of the characters that I put my main circle were lacking the intrigue of other characters. Because one of my goals is to keep this script contained with a tight cast, I did the exercise for all of my characters, and I am very excited about the results that came from it.

ASSIGNMENT 1:

Think about your Example Show. Make a list of the places you’ve already seen Character Intrigue in the previous episodes.

Hidden Agendas – Through the third episode we know that Eleanor is trying to hide her true nature hoping she can learn to be a good person and blend in at the good place. At the very end of episode three we learn that Jason has also been hiding his true nature as well.

Conspiracy – Eleanor and Chidi have agreed to conspire to try to outsmart the system.

Secrets – Eleanor and Jason do not belong in the good place and arrived accidentally.

Deception – Eleanor and Jason have been lying the entire time about who they really are.

Wound – I’m not exactly sure what the wound is yet, but it is clear that something is wrong with Chidi who struggles dramatically to choose a side during a personal conflict.

Secret Identity – Eleanor has been mistaken for an advocate for world peace and Jason has been mistaken for a Buddhist monk.

2. Watch the next episode and see how Character Intrigue is being used to create the need to see more episodes.

The four episode gives the full-back story of Jason allowing you to see his faults and personality. This adds intrigue because he is even more of a train wreck than Eleanor. Even worse, he isn’t terribly bright which puts Eleanor in greater risk of being exposed.

ASSIGNMENT 2:

For your inner circle characters, fill in any of the intrigue items that apply.

Poe

Hidden Agendas: None

Competition:

Poe is in competition with Trish to prove that he is right and she is wrong

Conspiracy:

He is leading an organization striving for equality through violence

Secrets:

Poe knows who Trish is and what organization she represents

Deception:

Poe doesn’t talk about the organization he represents initially

Wound:

Pandemic related: Doesn’t trust the gov’t enough to get vaccinated. He lost a couple allies due to the pandemic.

Secret Identity:

Leader of a radicalized far left movement

Angela

Hidden Agendas:

To find purpose and survive an existential crisis

Competition:

Angela vs. Stu

Conspiracy:

Secrets:

Suicidal – experiencing complex PTSD from an event that happened in her youth

Deception:

She strives not to appear to be a victim, even though that is exactly how she feels—she tries to hide her mental health but is essentially wearing for the world to see

Wound:

Pandemic related: Due to medical conditions she highly susceptible to disease and has been abundantly cautious about other people

Deeply empathic and seemingly affected by an endless list of problems both personal and environmental

Secret Identity:

Writer, journalist

Peter Cetera

Hidden Agendas: None

Competition:

Peter Cetera is in a sort of competition with FM in the sense that he is proving he is pursuing his ambitions for the right reasons

Conspiracy: None

Secrets: None

Deception:

Peter makes himself out to be a far better musician than he really is

Wound:

Pandemic related: His partner died from covid-related complications

Other: Has been living in the shadow of the famous Peter Cetera his entire life

Secret Identity

Celebrity, Influencer, Icon

Dani

Hidden Agendas: None

Competition:

Dani is kind of in competition with the entire group, as a moderate she believes she stands for everything and accepts everyone

Conspiracy: None

Secrets:

While she understands and appreciates other people’s thoughts, she feels the radical opinions of various members of the group are insensitive and poorly contrived

Wounds:

Pandemic related: Lost both her parents from the pandemic

Secret Identity:

Moderator, healer

FM

Hidden Agendas: None

Competition:

FM is in competition with Peter Cetera in the sense that he is proving he is pursuing his ambitions for the right reasons

Conspiracy:

FM’s inner most desire is to be a rapper, but it goes against basically everything he was raised on

Secrets:

FM doesn’t talk about his true desire to be a rapper

Wounds:

Pandemic related: Because of the economic decline, he lost his family farm

Secret Identity:

Rapper

Stu

Hidden Agendas: None

Competition:

Stu vs. Angela

Conspiracy: None

Secret:

Losing his faith in God

Wounds:

Pandemic related: Lost his wife from covid-related complications

Secret Identity:

Forsaken cowboy

Trish

Hidden Agendas Competition Conspiracy Secrets Deception Wound Secret Identity

Hidden Agendas: None

Competition:

Trish is in competition with Poe to prove that he is right and she is wrong

Conspiracy:

She is leading an organization determined to overthrow democracy and rebuild with “true Christian values”

Secret:

Trish knows who Poe is and what organization he represents Trish is reluctant to talk about her organization or her beliefs, she is far too cunning to put all her cards on the table

Wounds:

Pandemic related: Anti-vaxxer, basically anti-everything when it comes to gov’t mandates—lost several friends due to the pandemic

Secret Identity:

Leader of a radicalized far right movement

Florida Man

Hidden Agendas:

Florida man is determined to convince everyone to see that they are all puppets of a greater agenda

Competition:

Florida man is one the defensive regarding his ideas and begins to question her neutrality trying to get to take a stand on something

Conspiracy:

Florida man’s life is defined by his obsessions with conspiracy theories Florida Man has been abducted in the past, possibly multiple times

Secrets:

Florida man is the first to realize they are not on earth but keeps it to himself initially

Wounds:

Pandemic related: Doesn’t believe the pandemic is real, and insists there is something more devious at play


Hidden Identity:

Savior complex

Jenny

Hidden Agendas:

Hoping that she can meet someone that will give her a lead on a job Jenny is constantly questioning

Competition:

Florida Man’s endless theories and his own self image

Conspiracy: None

Secrets:

Living in her car

Deception:

Doesn’t like to talk about herself because she is ashamed with her position in life

Wound:

Pandemic related: Jenny lost her job, got sick, and has been struggling to find work

Secret Identity:

Homeless

Claire

Hidden Agendas

Save humanity from destroying itself

Competition:

The stakes are huge for Claire and Eddie as they are competing for position that will be determined based on the outcome of this experiment

Conspiracy:

Claire, Eddie and the Janitor have abducted the rest of the group in an attempt to see if their future actions at an upcoming event can be altered

Secrets:

Not from earth

Deception:

Claire, Eddie and the Janitor have designed a world that creates the impression that the chosen group believes is a weekly support group for coping with the pandemic, they are actually aboard an alien vessel and the memories from week-to-week are all implanted

Wound:

Everything is connected throughout the entire universe and earth’s internal abuse extends out to all things

Secret Identity:

Alien

Eddie

Hidden Agendas Competition Conspiracy Secrets Deception Wound Secret Identity

Hidden Agendas:

Save humanity from destroying itself

Competition:

The stakes are huge for Claire and Eddie as they are competing for position that will be determined based on the outcome of this experiment

Conspiracy:

Claire, Eddie and the Janitor have abducted the rest of the group in an attempt to see if their future actions at an upcoming event can be altered Not from earth

Secrets:

Claire, Eddie and the Janitor have designed a world that creates the impression that the chosen group believes is a weekly support group for coping with the pandemic, they are actually aboard an alien vessel and the memories from week-to-week are all implanted

Wound:

Everything is connected throughout the entire universe and earth’s internal abuse extends out to all things

Secret Identity:

Alien

Janitor

Hidden Agendas Competition Conspiracy Secrets Deception Wound Secret Identity

Hidden Agendas:

Save humanity from destroying itself

Competition: None

Conspiracy:

Claire, Eddie and the Janitor have abducted the rest of the group in an attempt to see if their future actions at an upcoming event can be altered

Secrets:

The Janitor is the silent leader of the experiment, Claire and Eddie work under him

Deception:

Claire, Eddie and the Janitor have designed a world that creates the impression that the chosen group believes is a weekly support group for coping with the pandemic, they are actually aboard an alien vessel and the memories from week-to-week are all implanted

Wound:

Everything is connected throughout the entire universe and earth’s internal abuse extends out to all things

Secret Identity:

Alien

</div>

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Engaging Main Characters

ASSIGNMENT 1:

What I learned from this assignment was to really think about the journey of these characters, and how their interconnectedness continue to push the boundaries of the world they are experiencing. It was really interesting to see how in the third episode of the Good Place, Eleanor receives a mysterious note slipped under her door indicating that someone knows she is a fraud. By the end of the episode we not only learn that Jason gave her the note, but also that he is a fraud and maybe even worse than Eleanor, raising the stakes of the situation.

The Good Place

Main Character – Eleanor

Role in show:

Eleanor – a relatively terrible person who dies and undeservingly ends up in the good place.

Unique Purpose/Expertise:

To become a good person so that she can earn her spot in the good place, or at least not be discovered and sent to the bad place.

Intrigue: What is the secret beneath the surface?

She is not supposed to be in the good place, and will likely be removed if discovered.

Moral Issue: What moral boundaries are they crossing?

By staying in the good place and doing less than good acts, she is destroying paradise for everyone else.

Unpredictable: What will they do next?

Desperation leads Eleanor to coerce Chidi to help her and potentially jeopardize his spot at the good place.

Empathetic: Why do we care?

Eleanor isn’t that different from us, and we know if we were in her position we’d do everything possible to stay there as well.

ASSIGNMENT 2:

Now, do the process with your show.

1. Tell us the journey of your show.

The journey of the show for each of the main characters is to understand that they are mirrors of one another, and connected to all things. They have each lost something significant to them as a result of the pandemic and through the sessions will come closer to understanding this ultimate truth.

2. Who are the main characters that will sell your show?

F.M., Florida Man, and Angela

3. Answer these questions for each of those characters.

F.M.

Role in the show:

After losing the family farm, FM decides to risk it all and follow his dream of becoming a rapper, he begins going to group meetings to get support.

Plot line: an innocent on a mission in a strange world

B. Unique Purpose / Expertise:

To help his family survive after the loss of their farm.

C. Intrigue: What is secret beneath the surface?

He believes he could be a great rapper because of cattle auction chanting ability, but is terrified to actually step into the music industry.

D. Moral Issue: What moral boundaries are they crossing?

F.M. came to a realization that he lived a very sheltered life, and puts himself in precarious positions to gain “life experience” for his music such as joining a group of illegal aliens crossing the border into Texas.

E. Unpredictable: What will they do next?

The more of these “life experiences” he gets, the more he wants—it turns into a dangerous addiction.

F. Empathetic: Why do we care?

Undeserved fortune: His family lost everything. He is also gaining the courage to follow his dream.

Florida Man

Role in the show:

Florida Man was arrested and faced jail time, but defended himself and convinced the judge to reduce the sentence to house arrest if he did community service and joined a support group.

Plot line: An outsider disrupts the current world.

B. Unique Purpose / Expertise:

He lives his life through the lens of conspiracy theories, and is immediately suspicious of Claire and Eddie despite them doing everything possible to be good hosts.

C. Intrigue: What is secret beneath the surface?

Florida Man believes he’s been abducted by aliens multiple times, and believes that the reality they are experiencing isn’t real, and that Claire and Eddie are controlling their minds.

D. Moral Issue: What moral boundaries are they crossing?

He takes nothing at face value and assumes there is an underlying and generally sinister motivation behind everything he experiences. He tries to live within the system so that no one catches on that he is onto the “greater narrative,” but yet does a terrible job actually being an upstanding citizen.

E. Unpredictable: What will they do next?

Florida Man’s picture should be posted in the dictionary next to unpredictable. This is his M.O.

F. Empathetic: Why do we care?

He means well. Ultimately he wants to help protect people from their oppressors, he just gets in his own way around every corner.

Angela

Role in the show:

Angela is a young gothic girl who was lost before the pandemic, but when it began life got very dark for her. She was only able to focus on everything bad happening and it felt like the world was crumbling around her. She joined this group as a last attempt to find purpose in her life.

Plot line: An innocent on a mission in a strange world.

B. Unique Purpose / Expertise:

Everyone in this group has lost something significant from the pandemic, and Angela listens to everyone’s hopes for a new world where we’ve learned something, trying to gain a reason for continuing her own life.

C. Intrigue: What is secret beneath the surface?

She is in the middle of an existential crisis and suicidal.

D. Moral Issue: What moral boundaries are they crossing?

Angela is staring into the void and flirting with death leading her down a path of exploring methods of dying.

E. Unpredictable: What will they do next?

Angela has a tendency to self-sabotage herself as a result of past trauma and a belief that she doesn’t deserve happiness, leading her to making poor choices.

F. Empathetic: Why do we care?

She is in a very vulnerable state and in some cases can be easily swayed into doing the exact opposite of what she should do.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by  Tom Minier.

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Three Circles of Characters

Assignment 1 – The Good Place

What I learned from this assignment is that you can make a lean cast work. Using The Good Place again, I was surprised by how few characters are actually in that story in the first two episodes. It points to the value of a strong inciting action. It was also interesting to see how the use of environment characters, especially in flashbacks, drive this show.

A. Main Characters Circle: Eleanor, Chidi, Jason, Tahani

B. Connected Circle: Michael, Janet

C. Environment Circle: Other deceased people in the neighborhood; friends of Eleanor’s from her past life

Assignment 2 – My Story

A. Main Characters Circle: F.M., Angela, Florida Man, Dani, Jenny, Stu, Peter Cetera, Trish, Poe

B. Connected Circle: Claire, Eddie

C. Environment Circle: People in their past lives that appear as flashbacks

F.M. – F.M. is Texas farm folk, his parents lost their cattle farm that has been in their family for generations due to Covid complications. F.M. was a cattle auctioneer who dreamed of becoming a rapper and has decided that he is going to fulfill that dream and leave the farm life.

Angela – Angela is a young goth kid who was lost before Covid and is now existential crisis lost. On the surface she appears to have given up, but she is desperately searching for a reason to keep going.

Florida Man – Florida Man is a full-time conspiratorial theorist. He doesn’t adhere to any schools of thought, but fully understands them all. He is a genius in his own way, who complicates life to make it more interesting and worth living.

Peter Cetera – Peter Cetera is a pompous ass. A talented musician who can’t help but tell everyone, everything that’s wrong with… basically everyone, accept himself. He believes he is destined to prove that he is the greater Peter Cetera.

Poe – Poe nails all the -ists into place. He is a narcissist who strives to outdo himself in search of what it means to be the “Poeist” – his own Sith-like state of being.

Trish – Trish is a “Karen.” She is difficult because she derives pleasure from watching other people squirm. She’s deceptive though, her charm is like venom that sedates her prey, and at the slightest whim will bury her victim in a furious rage.

Dani – Dani is a sweetheart. She lost both her parents in the pandemic and is dealing with survivor remorse as she unknowingly got them sick.

Stu – Stu is salt of the earth. He works with his hands, leads and honest life that he was proud of, but when he lost his wife started drinking and went straight off the deep end.

Jenny – Jenny is the control group. She is doing fine. Nothing terrible happened to her during the pandemic, but yet she is continuously drawn to these support group meetings.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by  Tom Minier.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by  Tom Minier.

[Tom Minier]

The Good Place 5 Star Model

I decided to recalibrate and do the first lesson a second time to avoid going any further down The 100 series rabbit hole. I’m pivoting to The Good Place because this follows the format of the story that I want to write here. What I learned this go-around is that even though this story involves several main characters, it starts with just one, allowing the action to build off the main protagonist.

Opening Shot – Eleanor wakes up to a wall that reads “everything is fine.”

Michael takes her into an office – Where am I? Who are you? And what is going on?

She died, Michael tells her how. It’s embarrassing but wants to hear. The event explains about her personality. She asks about who was right, all religions were 5% right, except for for Doug Forgett who was 92% right. She finds out she is in the good place.

Town – Michael takes Eleanor on a tour and then they watch a town square movie orientation

Video – every action had a positive or negative value, the total value is calculated and everyone here has a

Park – walking through the park Eleanor asking about the people in the bad place. We find out that Eleanor was an attorney who got people off death row. It is believed she is elite good.

House – Tour of house, we see she can review all of her memories. Chidi arrives, her soul mate. Michael leaves. They share thoughts about each other. Eleanor confides in him. Twist – she admits she isn’t supposed to be there 9:35.

Flashback – Eleanor was in sales – selling fake meds to the sick and elderly. She was the top sales person five years running.

Yogurt shop – Chidi suggests that it is a test, and she goes to Michael confesses and is allowed to stay. Eleanor doesn’t think it’s worth the risk. Maybe the bad place isn’t all bad? Janet appears out of thin air. She is the informational assistant. You can ask her anything. Janet is not allowed to talk about the bad place but is allowed to play them a brief audio clip of what is happening right now. It sounds like the end of the world.

Walking through garden, Chidi doesn’t feel he can help her hide her true nature. We learn that he was a professor of ethics while alive

Michael arrives with Tajani and Jeanu their neighbors. They are having a welcome party and invites them. Jeanu is a monk who took a vow of silence.

Later that night – they are at the welcome party, Chidi asks about one good thing Eleanor has done. Nothing. A neutral thing. Nothing. What were you doing the day before you died. FLASHBACK – she harasses someone trying to save the environment. Eleanor pleads her point saying that all these people can’t be all good.

They interview a three people who are purely good and then she storms off to the bar in frustration

Michael gives a speech talking about how he is the architect of the neighborhood and that this is his first solo project. Eleanor takes all the shrimp. Runs off to steal gold items

Eleanor’s house – she is drunk, Chidi helps her. She filled her bra with shrimp. Eleanor asks if he thinks any one cared if she died. Eleanor passes out.

Next morning – Lightning strike wakes her up—she opens the window everyone is wearing Michigan colors, people are running from falling forks, shrimp are flying, giant lady bugs… basically everything that Eleanor has been talking about or doing. Eleanor is the only one who isn’t wearing the outfit.

They return to the house, and Eleanor tries to convince Chidi to teach her how to be good. Michael knocks on the door announcing an emergency neighborhood meeting. If I walk out there in these clothes I’m toast.

Big Picture Hooks – What is the big hook of the show?

A woman with a broken moral compass wakes up in “the good place” due to a case of mistaken identity and must try to figure out how to become good before she is caught and sent to “the bad place.”

Intriguing Character – What makes these main character intriguing and interesting?

Everyone can relate to feeling imperfect or even imposter syndrome. The idea of being incorrectly placed in what can be perceived as heaven is intriguing.

Empathy/Distress – What situation causes us to feel both empathy and distress for this character?

Eleanor is highly flawed and most make a huge leap in a very broad personality category in order to fulfill her desire of staying in the good place. Additionally, every time she doesn’t something wrong it manifests her thought or action into a cataclysmic event.

Open Loops – What questions are created by this first episode that can only be answered by watching the entire season?

Will Chidi decide to help her hide her secret?

Will Eleanor’s dishonesty ruin paradise for everyone else?

Will someone find out she is a fraud?

Can Eleanor even tolerate that much goodness?

Inviting Obsession – How does this pilot create the need to see every single episode?

How is Eleanor going to continue living a charade to stay in the good place and off Michael’s radar when every negative action she takes has catastrophic effects on that world? For all eternity?

[Tom Minier]

The 100: 5 Star Model

What I took away from this assignment is a big picture understanding of what makes a TV series marketable. Also, a hypothesis that a pilot episode is like the first 10 pages of a feature script—where the audience walks away with an understanding of the totality of the story while planting the seeds of the character’s journeys. Honestly, I wasn’t a fan of this show when I watched the first several episodes years ago, but wanted to give it another shot because of some potential parallels with the story I was hoping to compose. That being said, I do see how it follows the model and therefore is appealing.

Beats:

Opening shot – chalk drawing on floor, Clarke’s monologue about nature, hook is that she is stranded on space – exposition about all of humanity living on the “ark.”

Guards barge in and tell prisoner to face the wall—every crime is punishable by death if you’re under 18

Mother arrives and tells her that she is going to Earth, Clarke is shot with a tranquilizer

Shuttle departs from station to earth

Clarke awakens on the shuttle with 100 juvenile delinquents heading to earth, they are being sent because they are expendable—they find out that they need to go to Mt. Weather where this is three years of supplies

Control center – they are off course and all the communications are malfunctioning—the only way they know they are alive is due to the wristbands

Ship lands and everyone makes for the door—two are dead

Bellamy and Octavia are reconnected

Door opens and they walk out into nature, cheering, terrible dialog, imagine dragons

Clarke goes wandering out with a massive topo map to get her bearings, when the bad boy arrives—painful dialog, we find out that they were dropped on the wrong mountain and 20 miles away

Control center – they see two dead

The chancellor’s son tries to step up as leader, but is literally the most hated person in the group

Octavia alludes to being a wild child, brother Bellamy did “something” but won’t say what and will be killed for it when they find out, Bellamy hears that if the band comes off, they will think their dead

Group of five head off to Mt. Weather

Dr. Griffin (Clarke’s mother) gets a call that the Chancellor’s been shot

The group sees a dear with two heads

ER – Chancellor is going into shock, Dr. Griffin makes the call to give him more blood (which is illegal)

The space police determine that Bellamy shot the Chancellor. We also learn that the 100 were sent from the ship to buy the rest of the people an extra month of oxygen

Bellamy starts convincing people to take off the bracelet, making people think they are dead and it is unsafe to follow them down

Control room – two more appear dead

The expedition learns from Clarke that the Ark is dying and they were shipped off to preserve O2p—Clarke’s father was engineer who discovered flaw, was executed for trying to tell people—dialog is painfully on the nose

Octavia strips down and goes for a swim. Everyone is about to jump in when ski goggles guy sees a giant snake coming at her. She gets pulled under and everyone just stands there. They “distract” the snake by throwing a big rock in the water and then ski goggles rescues her. Somehow Octavia only has some scratches on her leg.

Everyone is lining up get their wrist bands removed. Bellamy tries to convince them that they will never survive. Bellamy leads the “whatever the hell we want chant.” Ugh.

Control room – 10 more appear dead; Dr. Griffin is arrested for giving the Chancellor too much blood

Dr. Griffin is moved to her daughter’s cell, she sees her drawings. She’s sad.

Clarke wakes up and sees the forest has bioluminescent plants, Avatar cliche. Bad boy shows up and brings her water in a leaf. He takes her to see a foot print of a biped. Clarke says there were no bipeds in this area—sexual tension

Cane (bad leader), and Chancellor in charge is listening to classical music when his wife or girlfriend arrives to defend Dr. Griffin. Cane has no mercy

Bellamy wakes up the Chancellor’s son with a gun and walks him out, but he refuses. Other thugs arrive and take the wrist band from him

Dr. Griffin is walked to the door which will float her into space. She steps inside. They are about to hit the button when the real Chancellor appears and pardons her

Ski goggles swings across the river and starts cheering. Clarke is about to go next. Ski goggles finds a sign indicating that they reached Mt. Weather and starts cheering more. Out of nowhere a spear impales him—they are not alone.

Five Star Points

Big Picture Hooks – What is the big hook of this show?

100 juvenile delinquents are sent to earth that has been abandoned due to radioactive fallout and must find a way to survive with little-to-no resources or guidance.

Amazing and Intriguing Character – What makes these main characters intriguing and interesting?

Clarke was put in jail for trying to help her father spread the word that the Ark was running out of oxygen, and now has been deported to earth to help what’s left of mankind make the judgement call to return back to earth.

Empathy/Distress – What situation causes us to feel both empathy and distress for this character?

A group of expendable minors are sent to a hostile planet they do not know.

Layers/Open Looks – What questions are created by this first episode that can only be answered by watching the entire season?

Is the earth still too radioactive to inhabit?

Will the Ark run out of oxygen killing off mankind’s space colony?

Will the group find the 3 year supply of food at Mt. Weather and is it even really/still there?

What other hostile forces are on earth that these kids no nothing about?

Will Cane take control of the Ark as chancellor?

Inviting Obsession – How does this pilot create the need to see every single episode?

How is this group of delinquents going to come together to survive and will everyone left behind be able to determine if the earth is safe to re-inhabit?

[Tom Minier]

Tom Minier

I agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Tom Minier]

Hi all,

My name is Tom Minier. I’m a writer and actor who flirts with filmmaking, currently based out of Atlanta. I just completed the 2nd draft of my 10th screenplay (7 features, 3 pilots). I have three pilots in my head that want out, and I learned from the ProSeries that the process goes exponentially faster with a plan—that’s why I’m here. Unique, special, strange or unusual??? I don’t know if this will register for any one, but it’s special to me, dammit! I recently wrapped on shooting a film I wrote, acting with my first acting mentor—it was a pretty cool full circle moment in an epic location.

[Tom Minier]

Hi Megan,

It’s my interpretation that we only needed to complete episode descriptions for the first season. I believe the rationale is that by the time the first season is fully scripted, there will likely be significant changes to future seasons, so therefore it’s acceptable to simply explain the essence of each season as an overview. Additionally, I applaud your ability to set the pace and stay on target with deadlines lesson after lesson!