James Thompson
Forum Replies Created
-
Subject: Jim Thompson’s Thriller Map Version 2
“What i learned …” This was interesting but difficult to get the Thriller attributes without too much detail. I could reduce my map by a page but I know there is both too much detail and portions where I am missing attributes. Since I was trying to reduce the number of pages, the development of Jennifer Andrews is shallow.
Act l –
Opening Image:
INT – Fargo, ND — Night
The killing of the seventh Judge goes wrong. The Lakota shoots and kills the judge and his wife but a 911 call is made and the police arrive before he can extract. He disables the police cars then triggers explosives to distract and escape on a motorcycle.
Setup:
EXT – Fargo, ND – Night
Firemen and first responders in Fargo start coughing and choking with blistering of their exposed skin. A hazard materials team member recognizes chemical agent effects and pull people from the site.
EXT – Bismarck and Grand Rapids, ND – Night
Explosions destroy courthouses, the offices of all lawyers, and the residences of every lawyer and judge in both cities. As fire and EMT respond to the disasters, they too are affected by coughing and choking with blisters of their exposed skin from the effects of a chemical agent.
EXT – Fargo, ND — Day
Two detectives on scene at the Judge and his wife’s murder, pull video from ‘ring’ systems. Using the perpetrator’s image, a large ‘swarthy’ man, they pull additional video. By tracking, they narrow the search, covering the area with uniformed police officers who find a house but a veteran identifies IEDs, Fargo PD isolate the house.
INT – Fargo, ND – Day
Federal Critical Incident Response Group (CIRG) arrives including forensic, chemical warfare, and counter terrorist experts. The lead, FBI Assistant Director Frank Walters, includes local LEA on the team.
INT – Fargo, ND — Day
CIRG meeting the Bismarck and Grand Rapids teams have no video of the perpetrator. Crime scenes do have indications of remote control and WMD Mustard. Walters asks a question, “why attack North Dakota?” A police office come in with a Native American manifesto which is also on Fox and CNN.
EXT – Fargo, ND – Day
A full squadron of FBI Hostage Rescue Team (HRT) take over from the Fargo PD at the located house.
Catalyst:
EXT – Fargo, ND – Day
HRT and ATF EOD experts disarm several IEDs but all have Mustard agent. Jennifer Andrews, an HRT Advance Force Operations (AFO) lead, documents external IEDs and locations of some internal IEDs for the assault. The EOD team warns of unknown IEDs inside the house but with indications of a person inside the CIRG pushes. the HRT assaults the building, taking multiple casualties and causing the building to be contaminated with Mustard.
The FBI HRT and forensic teams work with hazardous material teams to collect evidence using Site Sensitive Exploitation techniques perfected by the military. They find evidence of other sites within all three cities and another in Sioux Falls, SD.
INT – Fargo, ND – Day
CIRG meeting includes members in Bismarck, Grand Rapids, and the Washington Field Office (WFO) as they prepare to assault all sites simultaneously, hoping to catch the terrorists. The CIRG has copies of the manifestos delivered to the media, a Native American extremist organization sick of the Bureau of Indian Affairs and injustices to Native Americans. The President (POTUS), US Attorney General, Secretary of Homeland Security, and Director of the FBI attend a second CIRG meeting. This is a large and sophisticated domestic terrorist operation.
Debate:
INT – Fargo, ND – Night
The FBI Director calls Frank Walters telling him immediate action and results are needed.
EXT – Sioux Falls, SD – Day
Jennifer Andrews is one of the first HRT members in Sioux Falls. She and the AFO team place the site under surveillance. The FBI discovers the house is owned by Everett Dixon, a member of the Lakota tribe, who runs a SCUBA business. The AFO sees movement inside the house. The HRT assaults the house after the outside has been cleared by EOD but the house explodes killing two members of the team and injures eight others including Jennifer.
After the casualties are taken to the hospital, several teams in protective suits work through the wreckage. They find evidence of Mustard manufacturing and the use of the fill tanks to mix hydrogen and oxygen with the Mustard to create a dispersion device. This matches injuries by power company employees when power transformers explode contaminating large areas with Mustard. They do not find Dixon’s body which was vaporized in an explosion but find body parts that are probably his. These are given to the coroner flown in by the FBI.
INT – Sioux Falls, SD – Night
The CIRG has put together a local operation center while they go through what is left of the ‘safe house’. All agencies scramble to find out more about Everett Dixon. The North and South Dakota State Bureaus of Investigation work together with the Department of Interior and BIA to put together a dossier on Dixon’s local activities. The Department of Defense (DoD) provides information about Dixon’s military service with the US Army’s Special Forces (Green Berets) where he was an engineering, weapons, and EOD expert with two tours in Iraq and three tours in Afghanistan. By midnight, the SSE teams have evidence another safe house in Waukegan, IL owned by Dixon but rented to a Mahmud Bishara. The DoD liaison finds Bishara has ties to ISIS, disappearing four years ago after traveling to Canada.
INT – Fargo, ND – Night
Frank Walters calls a CIRG meeting with all the principals of the DOJ, FBI, and DHS about Mahmud Bishara’s connection to Dixon. They activate a Joint Counter Terrorist Task Force to go after the foreign perpetrators of this attack. The focus in on ISIS External Operations and the people in charge.
Act ll
INT—Fargo, ND – Day
Jeff Peters and Jorge Robertson, the two Fargo PD detectives who worked on finding the local video, continued work on the massive homicides in Fargo. They categorize the dead, finding a strange anomaly. There is a group of nearly a dozen people who are all part of the same extended family and all killed by a gunshot Looking more closely, no members of this family are still alive. Continuing cataloging victims, they discover fourteen civilians also killed by gunshot but are not lawyers. Attempting to correlate the groups to find a commonality draws in Jennifer working with FBI’s Fargo contingent recovering from her injuries.
As she brings her expertise and FBI contacts to their investigation, the three investigators find the fourteen civilians had been members of a jury more than 15 years previously. The murdered family had first sued then gotten a criminal trial for murder against Grace Miller. The murder charge was dismissed, but the suit went against Grace, she had to pay them $175k which they claimed she had taken using undue influence on an aunt. Grace Miller died about 15 years ago (shortly after the trial) is survived by her husband Scott Miller a 71-year-old computer consultant and entrepreneur, a daughter serving in the US Army as a Chief Warrant Officer in the CID, a daughter married living in Colorado, and a son serving in the US Army Special Forces as a senior engineering NCO.
Andrews, Peters, and Robertson present their findings to her supervisor, Robert Williams, and then to Frank Walters. He appears to understand and even agree but at the end disagreed that the attacks, including new strikes on the Midwest power infrastructure implies a much larger organization. He explains that the intelligence shows ISIS and Iranian Quds Force working together.
B Story:
INT – NC – Day
A large room with computer systems and monitors showing multiple views from towers. An AI sorts the images causing screens to flicker, one stops focusing on individuals near the tower. The AI identifies the people as farmers, the monitor flickers as the system resumes its threat search.
A second AI monitors surveillance planted within Fargo offices of the CIRG. It identifies the find by Peters and Robertson, sending an encrypted text message to the controller. He programs additional monitoring focusing on identifying principal investigators. Noting the shift toward an individual rather than a terrorist group, the controller has the AI increase the level and intensity of the attacks on the power infrastructure in additional states and instructions for courthouses in eight cities to explode at midnight.
EXT — Iowa — Day
Walters and the Simmons, the Fargo Police Chief, send Andrews, Peters, and Robertson to Iowa identified as a tower site for attacking the power infrastructure. As the three approach, surveillance from the tower fires on them with a machine-gun on the tower, disabling the car, killing Jorge, injuring Jeff and Jennifer. The machine gun then pivots firing on the transformer over a mile from the site, placing rounds disabling it then self-destructing the site with a thermite grenade and explosion.
With a minor wound, Walters walks through the carnage of the tower, finding evidence of a US military weapon in the attacks. She calls her HRT supervisor SAC Williams, asking him to check other tower locations of infrastructure attacks for weapon type. She believes all weapons have been stolen from the US military. Continuing to work with Williams, they find the fake cell towers leased by the same company.
INT — Fargo, ND — Night
The ambush of Andrews, Peters, and Robertson is one of many with nearly fifty officer’s or agents injured as the LEAs focus on disrupting the ability of the terrorists to attack the power infrastructure. However, Director Walters and Chief Simmons use the multiple ambushes as proof of a larger terrorist organization with sophisticated resources. However, they agree, the evidence of the family group, their legal representatives, and the jury being shot outside of the lawyers and judges seems outside of what would be expected from a terrorist group.
With the continued attacks, the CIRG moves their operation to the Minneapolis FBI field office with larger facilities. Using the information Williams and Andrews have put together, the CIRG trace the weapons to a series of commando-like raids on armories and the financing of the Mid-south Mobility, LLC to shell companies and off-shore banks.
Fun and Games:
INT—NC – Day
The computer room monitors show the financial links the FBI is making. Without additional programming, the AI transfers funds in the accounts through other banks in more than a dozen countries then closes the infected accounts. The AI triggers the dissolution of the shell companies, including some not on the FBI’s list. After completing tasks, the AI sends an encrypted message to the controller.
EXT – Waukegan, IL – Night
HRT has assaulted the safe house in Waukegan after monitoring movement within the house. When they do, the house explodes then thermite panels set it on fire. The body of the person believed to be Mahmud Bishara has been vaporized with only body parts remaining and those burnt in the fire. The HRT takes them to the FBI coroner.
INT – Waukegan, IL – Night
The coroner compares the findings of Dixon and Bishara then calls Dixon. Both sets of body parts have ice crystal residue. He hypothesizes both men were frozen before the explosives blew them apart.
INT – CIRG JOC – Night
Walters in a conference with his SACs and Supervisory Agents sits stunned by the cononer’s finding. There are three other ‘safe houses’ identified and under surveillance. He orders expedited assaults.
He orders them to find out as much as possible about the Millers. Particularly the son and daughter. In minutes, an agent provides preliminary alibis for both because they are deployed overseas. However, their father, Scott, retired from the Army and served in law enforcement in North Carolina.
A report comes in from the financial investigation that all the accounts discovered have been closed within the last 12 hours with remaining funds transferred out that obfuscates their final location.
Midpoint:
INT – NC – Day
In the computer, the artificial intelligence runs through thousands of images, video, and audio every second with feeds from a hundred cities, more than a thousand cell towers, and almost that many fake power transformers. All uploaded to the cloud then moved to different accounts before processing. All feeds are encrypted using an unbreakable lattice-based post quantum scheme. The system sends encrypted messages to the controller based on the information importance refined with machine-based learning.
The controller reads the latest text, realizing the FBI will begin an intense focus on him. He does not want to abandon the project yet. So, he has the AI increase the acceleration level and intensity of the attacks across all 48. He uses the AI ensure the attacks appear random but devastating infrastructure and judicial system. His aim, cause the FBI to question a single septuagenarian’s ability to accomplish.
INT – CIRG JOC – Day
Walters is briefed on what they have found out about Scott Miller. First, Miller looks nothing like the person caught on Fargo videos. Walters stops the briefer and orders the original video to be sent to the FBI labs in Quantico for analysis. Second, Miller is 71 years-old, he could not physically run and climb shown in the videos. Finally, Miller’s alibi, he was working in Atlanta during the Fargo attacks.
However, Miller is a computer expert in automation and the use of artificial intelligence. He has patents and copyrights for systems and software used by large companies. He could automate the attacks. He was a member of a NC county Sheriff’s Department as an investigator and instructor for their SWAT team. Prior to working in industry, he served in the US Army with more than 25 years with their Special Mission Units. Walters stops the briefer asking what that means and get a reply that he worked at Delta Force and an Intelligence unit but the information from the period is redacted.
Walter requests the DoD liaison find out more about Miller’s service and any projects that might be germane. The briefer does list Miller’s qualifications including Combat Diver Supervisor which would include the user of closed-circuit diving gear and the use of mixed gases. Miller has a long string of courses in weapons, engineering, and communications. He has near native fluency in Spanish and Portuguese, therefore he could disappear anywhere in Central or South America.
INT – CIRG – Day
Conference call between Walters, the Director of the FBI, Attorney General (DoJ), Secretary of Homeland Security, and the President. The FBI has already sold the idea of a domestic terrorist group working with multiple foreign terrorists – ISIS, Iranian Quds Force, Hezbollah, and possibly others. How can this be turned around to be a crazy ‘Unibomber’ like Kaczynski? Much more ruthless though, the Unibomber did not kill hundreds of people or injure thousands. The use of cell towers network is of an unheard-of scope. What about money? The cell towers cost hundreds of millions of dollars if not close to a billion, “I don’t care who this is, no one person could raise that much money without triggering alarms with the FBI and the IRS. This Scott Miller may look good but it cannot be him or at least it cannot be just him.”
Bad Guys Close In:
INT – FBI WFO – Day
Andrews, after being injured twice, has been move to Washington Field Office (WFO) until she is fit for duty with the HRT in Quantico. Walters and Williams call her letting her know while Scott Miller is still a person of interest because of the correlations in Fargo with the trial of his wife. The search continues for the foreign and domestic masterminds that have bankrolled and orchestrated this catastrophe. They provide her with the information of Miller that they have but with his alibi for the times in question and the continued attacks even though he is under FBI surveillance; the principals do not see him as a viable lead.
EXT – Pentagon – Day
Andrews cannot believe they are planning on dropping the investigation of Miller. Using her contacts through the HRT, she contacts members of the Delta Force who’ve been involved due to the use of a Weapon of Mass Destruction (WDM) in Mustard. She explains what she knows, including Miller’s service at Delta and an Intelligence Activity. He retired at CW4 in 2005 based on the redacted 201 file. She pleads for help because while he is ‘one of their own’ he is destroying the country.
INT – Foggy Bottom, Alexandria, VA – Night
In a conference call, the Delta operatives talk with their command back at Fort Bragg and the commander of the ISA from which Miller retired. The commanders had been briefed earlier. They have copies of an unredacted 201 file for Miller. They have the investigation information collected in Fargo about the family, jury, and how the homicides were committed.
All is Lost:
INT – WFO – Day
Walters flies back to Washington where he and Williams confront Andrews about releasing classified and sensitive FBI information to the DoD. She attempts to present her case on and while they listen at the end, Walters places her on indefinite suspension and Williams lets her know that even if she is able to return to the FBI it will never be with the HRT again.
EXT – Midwest – Night
The number of attacks increase, now including the use of heavier weapons. Major portions of the Midwest are blacked out. The power companies attempting to restore discover the destroyed transformers are unique with their manufacture foreign and on-demand.
INT – WFO – Day
The FBI and local law enforcement agencies have taken down over 12 more ‘safe houses’ but again no bodies recovered only parts after the explosions and fires. However, knowing what to look for, the coroners find evidence of ice crystal formation in each. The attacks intensify.
Dark Night of the Soul:
INT – Delta Compound – Day
The commanders of Delta and the ISA have concluded that Scott Miller is probably the perpetrator of the attacks on America. Scott was one founder of a squadron for doing AFO in denied territory, an expert at singleton operations overseas. If they can prove that he is doing the attacks, then they will need to kill him. This makes the unit’s ‘Marshall Brown’ embarrassment pale in comparison and could lead to their dissolution.
EXT – NC – outside Miller’s Residence – Day
Jennifer doing lone surveillance of Miller, has been living in her car since the suspension. Most of her time within sight of Miller’s home. Nodding off, she’s abducted by four men who place a hood over her head as they spirit her away. She recognizes one man’s voice as an F Squadron operator she’d worked with at the HRT but keeps quiet. They threaten her then warn her off the surveillance effort.
Act lll:
EXT – NC – outside Miller’s Residence – Night
Released, Andrews walks directly to Miller’s front door, when he answers she introduces herself and asks if she can ask him some questions.
INT – NC – Inside Miller’s Residence – Night
Andrews questions Miller about his wife, her trial, and how it made him feel. She does not ask about his alibi for Fargo, how he got the money, how he managed to put together the fake cell towers, or why he has continued the attacks. She wants to understand the man.
Miller offers her coffee and fresh baked blueberry pie as they talk. Over the next two hours, he talks about Grace, their kids and his time after leaving the service. He doesn’t talk about his time in the military or the trial but genuinely enjoys talking about his life.
Finale:
EXT – NC – outside Miller’s Residence – Night
Andrews abducted again when she leaves Miller’s house. The operatives are from the DIA and the Activity. Included are two women, one in charge of the operation. When they have Andrews in a van, she dismisses everyone then talks frankly with Andrews, offering her a job.
She states that while Andrews will never be welcomed back into the FBI, the Activity is treasures truth with a dedication to providing it to the SOF community. She offers Andrews a promotion to GS-13, training in intelligence, and continued work in the field if she wishes but she will need to drop the case on Miller. She offers that Miller will “be taken care of.”
EXT – NC –Miller’s Residence – Night
After his talk with Andrews, Miller executes his escape and evasion plan. In less than an hour, he is in a private plane on his way to Florida where he switches plane and identity flying to Guatemala.
He has further transportation there with other identities disappearing into South America. Eighteen hours after Andrews has left his house, Miller is sitting in his Peruvian home.
EXT – Dublin, Ireland – Night
Miller has bounced to different countries in South America, Africa, and now Ireland using different identities. Living in a small three-bedroom cottage, as he steps out the front door, a man he helped get into the Activity and mentored steps up, without hesitation he places two rounds into Scott’s chest and a third between his eyes.
Sitting in the car waiting, Andrews has made the switch from FBI enforcing the law to working for the Activity and the dirty world of intelligence.
-
Subject: Jim Thompson’s Thriller Map Version 1
“What I learned is…?” I’m excited to take what I’ve learned and apply it to other unfinished works. This lesson helped me with the overall flow which did cause multiple changes from my earlier tagged map. I know that I could not have gotten this far without the tagged version as we added more and more detail. I realize there is much more work to be done to ‘smooth’ and edit before writing the scenes but I now have a ‘map’ which I can use to put the scenes together. I am looking forward to applying these lessons to the outlining method using Plotr and the ‘Snowflake Method’ on my unfinished books. I have learned a great deal during this course. It met and exceeded my every expectations.
Post your readable Thriller Map.
Act l –
Opening Image:
INT – Fargo, ND — Night
The killing of the seventh Judge goes ‘pear shaped’ with the Judge already awake and in his bathroom. The judge hearing something not normal, comes down the stairs his shotgun out. The Lakota shoots and kills him. However, the judge’s wife grabs a pistol from her night stand, dials 911 reporting an intruder, then exits the bedroom. Seeing her husband at the bottom of the stairs, she immediately begins shooting. The Lakota kills her but the Fargo Police respond to the 911 faster than he had previously timed during reconnaissance. He shoots through the engine blocks of the police cars disabling them, triggers the explosives in his vehicle parked at the curb then causes several explosions in downtown buildings, he exits the house, escaping on a pre-positioned motorcycle.
Setup:
EXT – Fargo, ND – Night
Firemen and first responders in the downtown area start coughing, choking and blistering on their exposed skin. A team from the fire department’s hazmat team recognize the effects of a chemical agent and begin pulling people from the site.
EXT – Bismarck and Grand Rapids, ND – Night
Explosions destroy the courthouses in both cities, the offices of all lawyers, and the residences of every lawyer and judge in both cities. As fire and EMT respond to the disaster, they are affected by coughing, choking and blisters on their exposed skin from the affects of a chemical agent.
EXT – Fargo, ND — Day
Two detectives at the scene of the Judge and his wife’s murder pull video from ‘the ring’ system at the house and using the perpetrator’s image pull video from city closed circuit systems at the traffic lights. By tracking through the lights, the detectives are able to narrow the search for the suspect and cover the area with uniformed police officers and vehicles. Two officers identify what they believe may be where the suspect fled but one officer, a veteran of Iraq, identifies IEDs and the police back off but isolate the house.
INT – Fargo, ND – Day
Two planes land at the Hector International airport outside of Fargo with members of the FBI, DHS, ATF, and US Marshals Service creating the Critical Incident Response Group (CIRG) which includes forensic, chemical warfare, and counter terrorist experts. The head of the CIRG is FBI Assistant Director Frank Walters who includes the Fargo Police Chief of Police, ND State Bureau of Investigations, and the teams in Bismarck and Grand Rapids. The Bismarck and Grand Rapids teams cannot find any video of the perpetrator but do find some indications of remote control of the detonations. Walters asks a question that is on everyone’s mind, why attack North Dakota? This in part is answered by the media who have received a Native American manifesto.
EXT – Fargo, ND – Day
The second plane includes a full squadron of the FBI Hostage Rescue Team (HRT) who take over the located house from the Fargo PD.
Catalyst:
EXT – Fargo, ND – Day
The HRT and ATF Explosive Ordinance Disposal (EOD) experts disarm several IEDs found around the house but they discover all have Mustard agent which would be spread over a large area by an explosion. Jennifer Andrews as part of the HRT Advance Force Operations (AFO) group, helps document the external IEDs and possible locations of internal IEDs for the assault teams. The EOD team warns of probably unknown IEDs inside the house but with indications of a person in the house and pushed for quick results, the HRT assaults the building, taking multiple casualties and causing the building to be contaminated with Mustard.
The FBI HRT and forensic teams work with city, state and federal hazardous material teams to collect evidence using Site Sensitive Exploitation techniques perfected by the military. They find evidence of other sites within all three cities and another in Sioux Falls, SD.
INT – Fargo, ND – Day
Frank Walters calls a meeting of the CIRG including the external members in Bismarck, Grand Rapids, and the Washington Field Office (WFO) as they prepare to take all of the sites simultaneously, hoping to catch one of the terrorists. They also have copies of a manifesto delivered to the media stating this is a Native American extremist organization that is fed up with the Bureau of Indian Affairs and the injustices on Native Americans. The US Attorney General, Secretary of Homeland Security, and Director of the FBI attend the call. Everyone is convinced this is a large and sophisticated domestic terrorist operation.
Debate:
INT – Fargo, ND – Night
The FBI Director calls Frank Walters telling him immediate action and results are needed.
EXT – Sioux Falls, SD – Day
Jennifer Andrews as a member of the HRT AFO, is one of the first members on the ground in Sioux Falls. She along with other members of the AFO place the site under surveillance from both vehicles and in nearby houses. The AFO team discovers the house is owned by Everett Dixon, a member of the Lakota tribe, and he has a SCUBA business including filling tanks with air, NITROX and other mixed gases. This coincides with injuries by power company employees in ND when power transformers explode contaminating large areas with Mustard. The AFO also sees movement inside the house. The HRT assaults the house after the outside has been cleared by EOD but the house explodes killing two members of the assault team and injuring eight others including Jennifer.
After the casualties are taken to the hospital, several teams in protective suits work through the wreckage. They find evidence of Mustard manufacturing and the use of the fill tanks to mix hydrogen and oxygen with the Mustard to create a dispersion device. They do not find Dixon’s body which has been vaporized in an explosion but they do find some body parts that are probably his. These are given to the special coroner flown in by the FBI.
INT – Sioux Falls, SD – Night
The CIRG has put together an operation center while they go through what is left of the ‘safe house’. All of the agencies have scrambled to find out more about Everett Dixon. The North and South Dakota State Bureaus of Investigation work together with the Department of Interior and BIA to put together a dossier on Dixon’s activities. The Department of Defense (DoD) provides information about Dixon’s military service in the US Army Special Forces (Green Berets) where he was an engineering, weapons, and EOD expert with two tours in Iraq and three tours in Afghanistan. By midnight, the SSE teams have found evidence of at least one more safe house in Waukegan, IL owned by Dixon but rented to a Mahmud Bishara. The DoD liaison finds that Bishara has ties to ISIS and disappeared four years ago after traveling to Canada from Mexico.
INT – Fargo, ND – Night
Frank Walters calls a meeting which includes all of the principals of the DOJ, FBI, and DHS to go over the information about Mahmud Bishara’s connection to Dixon. They activate a Joint Counter Terrorist Task Force to go after the foreign perpetrators of this attack. The focus in on ISIS External Operations and the people in charge.
Act ll
INT—Fargo, ND – Day
Jeff Peters and Jorge Robertson, the two Fargo PD detectives who worked on finding the local video, have continued working the massive homicide issue in Fargo. They have categorized the dead by occupation, finding a strange anomaly. There is a group of nearly a dozen people who are all part of the same extended family. Looking more closely at this group, there are no members of this family still alive. Continuing to catalog the victims, they discover fourteen civilians who were all killed by gunshot but are not lawyers. They attempt to correlate the two groups to find some commonality. Jennifer working as part of the FBI’s Fargo contingent as she recovers from her injuries is drawn into their investigation.
As she brings her expertise and FBI contacts to their investigation, they find the fourteen civilians killed had been part of a jury more than 15 years previously. The murdered family had first sued then gotten a criminal trial for murder against a Grace Miller. The murder charge was dismissed but the suit went against Grace, she had to pay them $175k which they claimed she had taken using undo influence on an aunt. Grace Miller died about 15 years ago (shortly after the trial) is survived by her husband Scott Miller a 71-year-old computer consultant and entrepreneur, a daughter serving in the US Army as a Chief Warrant Officer in the Criminal Investigation Division (CID), a daughter married living in Colorado, and a son serving in the US Army Special Forces senior engineering NCO.
Andrews, Peters, and Robertson present their findings to her supervisor, Robert Williams, and then to Frank Walters. He appears to understand and even agree but at the end disagreed that the scope of the attacks, including the new strikes on the Midwest power infrastructure implies a much larger organization. He explains that the intelligence shows ISIS and Iranian Quds force working together.
B Story:
INT – NC – Day
A large room with computer systems and monitors which show multiple views from the top of towers. An artificial intelligence system sorts the images at a rate causing the screens to flicker until one stops with the focus on individuals near the tower. The system identifies these people as farmers for the area, the monitor flickers as the system continues searching for threats.
A second system monitors the surveillance planted within the CIRG in the Fargo offices. It monitors the find by Peters and Robertson, sending a text message to the controller. He programs additional monitoring of the situation with a focus of identifying all principal investigators. Noting the focus shifting toward an individual rather than a terrorist group, the controller has the AI increase the level and intensity of the attacks on the power infrastructure in three more states. He has the AI send instructions for courthouses in eight cities to explode at midnight.
EXT — Iowa — Day
Walters and the Simmons, the Fargo Police Chief, agree to send Andrews, Peters, and Robertson to a site in Iowa which has been identified as a possible site to attack the power infrastructure. As the three approach the site, they are spotted through surveillance on the tower then fired up on by a fifty-caliber machine-gun on the tower which disables the car, kills Jorge and injures Jeff and Jennifer. The machine gun then pivots back firing on the extremely high-power transformer a little over a mile from the site. The machine-gun places twelve rounds through the transformer disabling it then the site has a thermite grenade melt the weapon before the entire site explodes.
Only having a minor wound, Walters walks through the carnage of the tower. She finds evidence indicating a US military weapon was used in the attacks. Getting on the phone, she links with her HRT supervisor SAC Williams, asking him to check on the other tower locations or areas where the infrastructure attacks have taken place to check on the weapons. She believe they will find all of them to have been stolen from the US military. Working with Williams, she finds the fake cell towers were leased by the same company.
INT — Fargo, ND — Night
The ambush of Andrews, Peters, and Robertson is one of many with nearly fifty officer’s or agents injured as the LEAs focus on disrupting the ability of the terrorists to attack the power infrastructure. Director Walters and Chief Simmons use the ambush as proof of a larger terrorist organization with sophisticated resources. However, the evidence of the family group, their legal representatives, and the jury being killed outside of the lawyers and judges in the cities does seem out of what would be expected from a terrorist group.
With the continued attacks, the CIRG move their operation to an FBI field office in Minneapolis, MN which has larger facilities with more communication channels. Using the information Williams and Andrews have put together, the CIRG trace the weapons to a series of commando-like raids on armories and the financing for the Midsouth Mobility, LLC to a number of shell companies and off-shore banks.
Fun and Games:
INT—NC – Day
The computer room monitors show the financial links the FBI is making to shell companies and off-shore banks. Without additional instruction or programming from the controller, the AI transfers funds still in the accounts through a series of banks and accounts in more than a dozen different countries then closes the infected accounts. The AI triggers the dissolution of the shell companies, including some that the FBI might find. After these tasks are completed, the AI sends a short encrypted text message to the controller.
EXT – Waukegan, IL – Night
HRT has taken down the safe house in Waukegan belonging to Dixon. While still monitoring the movement of an individual within the house, they conduct the breach. The house explodes then thermite sets it on fire. The body of the person believed to be Mahmud Bishara has been vaporized with only some body parts remaining and all of those have been burnt in the fire. The HRT takes them to the FBI coroner who has moved from Sioux Falls to Waukegan.
INT – Waukegan, IL – Night
The coroner comparing the findings from Dixon and Bishara makes an call to the CIRG that both sets of body parts recovered have residue which probably are the result of ice crystals. He hypothesizes the bodies of both men were frozen before the explosives blew them apart.
INT – CIRG JOC – Night
Walters in a conference with his SACs and Supervisory Agents takes the call from the coroner. He sits stunned by the revelation. There are three other ‘safe houses’ identified and under surveillance. He orders an expedited assault on all – as soon as they can be approached safely.
He orders his agents to find out as much as possible about the Millers. Particularly the son and daughter who are currently serving in the Army. In a short time, an agent provides information giving preliminary alibis for both because they are deployed overseas. However, their father, Scott, retired from the Army and has served in law enforcement in North Carolina.
A report comes in from the financial investigation that all of the accounts discovered have been closed within the last 12 hours with remaining funds transferred out in a way that obfuscates their final location.
Midpoint:
INT – NC – Day
The computer room continues to hum, monitors flicker as the artificial intelligence runs through thousands of images, video, and audio every second. The feeds from systems in a hundred cities, more than a thousand cell towers, and almost that many fake power transformers upload to the cloud then move to different accounts before processing. All feeds are encrypted using a lattice-based post quantum scheme that will not be broken for at least 25 years, if then. The system sends encrypted text to the controller periodically based on the importance of the information and priorities refined using machine-based learning techniques.
As the controller looks at the latest text, he realizes the FBI will begin an intense focus on him. He does not want to abandon the project yet. So, he again has the AI increase the acceleration level and intensity of the attacks across but this time hitting all 48 states of the continental US. He uses the AI he’s created to ensure the attacks are both random and devastating to both the power infrastructure and the judicial system in a way that will cause the FBI and DHS to question the ability of a single septuagenarian to accomplish.
INT – CIRG JOC – Day
Walters is briefed on what they have found out about Scott Miller. First, Miller looks nothing like the person caught on video in Fargo, ND. Walters stops the briefer and orders the original video to be sent to the FBI labs in Quantico for deeper analysis then has the briefer continue. Second, Miller is 71 years-old and doubtful that he was physically able to run and climb in the way shown in the videos. Finally, Miller was in Atlanta working at the time of the Fargo attacks.
However, Miller is a computer expert in automation and the user of artificial intelligence. He has multiple patents and copyrights for systems and software used by Internet Service Providers and Fortune 500 companies. He has the expertise needed to automate the attacks. He was a member of a NC county Sheriff’s Department including time as an investigator and instructor for their SWAT team. Prior to working in industry, he served in the US Army including more than 20 years with their Special Mission Units. Walters stops the briefer asking what that means and get a reply that he worked at Delta and an Intelligence unit but all of the information from that period is redacted.
Walter requests the DoD liaison find out more about Miller’s service and any projects that might be germane. The briefer does list Miller’s qualifications including Combat Diver Supervisor which would include the user of closed-circuit diving gear and the use of mixed gases. Miller was also airborne, free fall, Ranger, Special Forces – weapons, engineering, and communications, multiple languages including native fluency in Spanish and Portuguese. He could therefore travel to anywhere in Central or South America to disappear.
INT – CIRG – Day
Conference call between Walters, the Director of the FBI, Attorney General (DoJ), Secretary of Homeland Security, and the President. The FBI has already sold the idea of a domestic terrorist group working with multiple foreign terrorists – ISIS, Iranian Quds Force, Hezbollah, and possibly others. How can this be turned around to be a crazy ‘Unibomber’ like Kaczynski? Even the Unibomber did not attempt to kill hundreds of people and injure thousands. The use of the network of cell towers that we are still discovering throughout the country is an unheard-of scope for a single individual. What about money? This cost hundreds of millions of dollars if not close to a billion, I don’t care who this is, no one person could manage to raise that much money without triggering alarms with the FBI and the IRS. This Scott Miller may look good but it cannot be him or at least it cannot be just him.
Bad Guys Close In:
INT – FBI WFO – Day
Andrews, after being injured twice, has been placed at the Washington Field Office (WFO) until she is fit for duty with the HRT in Quantico. Walters and Williams call her to let her know that while Scott Miller is still a person of interest because of the correlations of deaths in Fargo and the trial of his wife over 15 years ago, the search continues for the masterminds both foreign and domestic that have bankrolled and orchestrated this catastrophe. They provide her with the information of Miller that they have but with his alibi for the times in question and the continued attacks even though he is under FBI surveillance, the principals do not see him as a viable lead.
EXT – Pentagon – Day
Andrews cannot believe they are planning on dropping the investigation of Miller. Using her contacts through the HRT, she contacts members of the 1<sup>st</sup> SFOD-Delta’s F squadron who have already been involved due to the use of a Weapon of Mass Destruction (WDM) in Mustard. She lays out what she knows including Miller’s time at Delta and a SOF Intelligence Activity where he retired as a CW4 in 2004 based on the redacted 201 file the FBI has received. She pleads for their help because while he is ‘one of their own’ he is destroying the country.
INT – Foggy Bottom, Alexandria, VA – Night
In a conference call, the Delta operatives talk with their command back at Fort Liberty but also the commander of the Intelligence Support Activity (ISA) which is the other SMU and the one that Miller retired from. The commanders and their deputies have already been briefed earlier. They have copies of an unredacted 201 file for Miller. They also have the information Andrews, Peters, and Robinson collected in Fargo about the family, jury, and how the homicides were committed.
All is Lost:
INT – WFO – Day
Walters flies back to Washington where he and Williams confront Andrews about releasing classified and sensitive FBI information to the DoD. She attempts to present her case that Miller controls all of the attacks through some kind of computer system which has also allowed him to maintain surveillance and move money out of accounts before the FBI can access them. They listen to her patiently but at the end, Walters places her on indefinite suspension and Williams lets her know that even if she is able to return to the FBI it will never be with the HRT again.
EXT – Midwest – Night
The number of attacks increase, now including the use of recoilless rifles and mortars with the machine-guns. Major portions of the Midwest are blacked out with the power companies working to restore unique extremely high-power transformers but their manufacture is foreign and on-demand.
INT – WFO – Day
The FBI and local law enforcement agencies have taken down more than 12 more ‘safe houses’ but again the bodies recovered are only parts after the explosions and fires. However, knowing what to look for, the coroners find evidence of ice crystal formation in everyone.
Dark Night of the Soul:
INT – Delta Compound – Day
The commanders of Delta and the ISA have come to the conclusion that Scott Miller is probably the perpetrator of the attacks on America. Scott was one of the founders of a squadron for doing Advance Force Operations in denied territory and an expert at singleton operations overseas. If they can prove that he is doing the attacks, then they will need to kill him. The units will not have another ‘Marshall Brown’ embarrassment and this would be much, much worse.
EXT – NC – outside Miller’s Residence – Day
Jennifer is doing lone surveillance of Miller. She has been living in her car since being suspended and most of the time within sight of Miller’s home. She is nodding off when four men abduct her, place a hood on her head and take her away. She recognizes the voice of one of the men as an F Squadron operator she’d worked with at the HRT but keeps quiet. They threaten her and warn her off the surveillance effort.
Act lll:
EXT – NC – outside Miller’s Residence – Night
Released, Andrews walks directly up to Miller’s front door, when he answers she introduces herself and asks if she can ask him some questions.
INT – NC – Inside Miller’s Residence – Night
Andrews questions Miller about his wife, her trial, and how it made him feel. She does not ask about his alibi for Fargo, how he got the money, how he managed to put together the fake cell towers, or why he has continued the attacks. Rather, she wants to understand the man.
Miller offers her coffee and some fresh baked blueberry pie as they talk. Over the next two hours, he talks about Grace, their kids and his time after leaving the service. He doesn’t talk about his time in the military or the trial but enjoys this short time talking about his life.
Finale:
EXT – NC – outside Miller’s Residence – Night
Andrews is again abducted when she leaves the Miller residence. This time the operatives are not from the unit but DIA and the Activity. Included in the group are two women, one obviously in charge of the operation. When they have Andrews in a van, she dismisses everyone and talks frankly with Andrews, offering her a job. She states that Andrews will not be welcomed back into the FBI, even if she were to prove Miller as the ultimate perpetrator. Her career there has ended but the Activity is an organization not afraid of the truth, rather they actively seek the truth with a dedication to providing it unvarnished to the SOF community. She offers Andrews a promotion to GS-13, training in intelligence, and continued work in the field if she wishes but she will need to drop the case on Miller. She does offer that Miller will “be taken care of.”
EXT – NC –Miller’s Residence – Night
After talking with Andrews, Miller executes his plan to escape and evade. Within less than an hour, he is in a private plane on his way to Florida where he has another plane in a different identity that will take him to Guatemala. He has further transportation there with another identity to disappear into South America. Eighteen hours after Andrews has left his house, Miller is sitting in his home in Peru.
EXT – Dublin, Ireland – Night
Miller has kept on the bounce living in different countries in South America, Africa, and now Ireland. He has a small three-bedroom cottage. As he steps out of the front door, a man he helped get into the Activity and mentored there steps up, with no hesitation places two rounds into his chest and a third between his eyes.
Sitting in the car waiting for the assassin, Andrews has made the switch from FBI enforcing the law to working for the Activity and the very dirty world of intelligence.
-
Subject line: Jim Thompson Misdirects…When Appropriate!
“What I learned is…?
While I’d added misdirects from the beginning, they still need work, particularly in the ‘presenting the cover-up as reality.’ I need to work on moving the reveal later in Act ll or even Act lll. While I have moved a good deal of the storyline down, there is more work to be done. Also, I do not have much in the way of subplots. I think there is the possibility of one with the planning that Scott does over 15 years to put everything together, the leasing of the land parcels for the fake cell towers for instance or the capture of Everett and Mahmud as well as others may be an area. However, I don’t want the subplots to take away from the Mystery or Intrigue.
ASSIGNMENT
1. Check these three to see how effectively you used misdirection
The Red Herring character. <div>
Everett Dixon
Mahmud Bishara
The Villain’s plan.
From the outset, the Villain’s plan has been one of misdirection
The Villain’s plan is to get the FBI and DHS to focus on Violent Extremest Organizations (domestic and foreign) rather than on the possibility of a lone attacker.
The lone terrorist will be considered absurd by the professionals within the FBI and DHS as well as by the Intelligence Community.
The cover-up for each mystery present as “Reality.”
Providing evidence of a Native American group with a grievance.
Providing evidence of a coalition of Domestic and Foreign VEOs.
The scale of the attacks could only be accomplished by an organization.
2. Look through your Thriller Map for a few opportunities to add in misdirection.
Clue Misdirection. </div><div>
Misdirect: Video of the perpetrator looks like Everett Dixon.
Character Misdirection.
Everett Dixon is vaporized in the Sioux Falls safe house.
Not identified as having been frozen until later.
Scott is too old to be the perpetrator.
Dialogue Misdirection – still working on this but I believe this can be added in the meetings between the different LEAs and the major characters.
3. Decide on the ones that work and add them to the Thriller Map.
ACT I
Opening Image (0% – 1%)
Life Threatening Event 1 – Three police cars have a suspect trapped inside the house of a judge. The suspect fires on the police cars disabling them all. As the police get ready to breach the house, the Fargo courthouse explodes along with several downtown businesses in Fargo, ND.
Mystery 1 – Who is the person shooting the police?
Mystery 2 – Why have the buildings exploded?
Villain’s Plan 1 – The real reason for the attacks in ND and the killing of lawyers is more complicated.
Setup (1% – 10%)
Villain’s Plan 2 – Make the ND attacks the worse terrorist event in US history to have multiple Federal and State law enforcement agencies interact. — Initial Misdirection.
Life Threatening Event 2 – The courthouse and many other buildings are contaminated with Mustard gas/powder. In addition, the power structure for the city has been taken down with the substations contaminated with Mustard. This has resulted in hundreds of injuries of first responders and power company workers.
Villain’s Plan 2 – Distraction of the Federal LEAs through ruthless attacks and use of Mustard to injure and kill, increase pressure for a quick solution. — compound the original misdirection with a ruthlessness only seen by the FBI in Violent Extremest Organizations (VEO).
Primary Mystery 1 – Why has a terrorist organization attacked cities in North Dakota? — first crack in the misdirection.
END RESULT: An American Indian protest group experiencing multiple arrests with long prison sentences for minor infractions has partnered with ISIS and other foreign terrorist groups to attack what they have termed the ‘injustice’ system.
CLUES:
Overt: Meeting of the CIRG including FBI, DHS, ATF (EOD team), US Marshal Service, and Fargo PD with the FBI Assistant Director asking why Fargo, ND rather than a much larger and more strategic target. This attack, including the sophistication of using a WMD against first responders, does not make sense. </div><div>
Covert: Video from Fargo shows a large man escaping from the police to a ‘safe house’ then changing vehicles at a garage and moving to another house. Pictures of a Lakota Indian, Everett Dixon, resemble the person show in the night time video from Fargo.
Overt: A manifesto is delivered by USPS to newspapers, political podcasters, and other media claiming responsibility for the attacks in North Dakota on the systemic injustice done to Native American by the State of North Dakota and the Interior Departments BIA.
Overt: The Sioux Falls ‘safe house’ was purchased by Everett Dixon. He is also the owner of the SCUBA diving business located at the residence.
Life-Threatening Event 3 – Fargo PD Detectives Jeff Peters and Jorge Robertson get video of the perpetrators escape from the uniformed officers. Using the video, they find a house where the perp may be located. When the detectives investigate with SWAT backup, they discover what appear to be improvised explosive devices protecting the property and back off for the explosive ordinance disposal (EOD) team.
Life-Threatening Event 4 – Before the Fargo PD EOD team arrives, planes carrying the Critical Incident Response Group (CIRG) from the FBI and including members of DHS, ATF, US Marshall Service, and DoD investigators (includes members of Delta’s WMD squadron). This also brings Special Agent Jennifer Andrews, part the FBI’s Hostage Rescue Team (HRT) advanced force who will prepare the ‘environment’ for the HRT squadron.
Mystery 3 – Why did the attackers use Mustard in their attacks? How did they manufacture Mustard?
Mystery 4 – How did the terrorists place the Mustard in containers camouflaged as power transformers?
Primary Mystery 2 – How did the terrorists place Mustard powder in hundreds of camouflaged power transformers around Fargo, Bismarck, and Grand Rapids? — second crack in the misdirection, a VEO taking more than a decade to plan an attack is not normal.
RESULT: The terrorist began placing the fake power transformers over more than the last 10 years. They have also placed explosives inside the courthouses at least five years ago with some done during a Federal Justice Department remodeling project. The law offices, courthouses, and even the home of the lawyers killed were under sophisticated surveillance with wireless Internet access, sending data and video up to cloud-based accounts.
CLUES:
Overt: some garages discovered in Fargo, Bismarck, and Grand Rapids have fake power company trucks, including ‘Cherry pickers’ for placing or replacing transformers
Covert: Mustard powder is a simple chemical agent to create. </div><div>Overt: The Sioux Falls ‘safe house’ has the facilities to create the Mustard powder in quantity and to place it into containers using the mixed gas SCUBA filling system.
Overt: The ATF investigators determine many of the courthouses and other building destroyed were from military explosives, including RDX and PETN which are used in aerial bombs and artillery shells. They also found the use of C4 explosives used by the US Army and USMC.
Overt: Outside of the judge’s house, the Fargo PD finds video surveillance on all the external doors and inside the house, the FBI electronic forensic team discovers all the ‘smart’ devices in the house being used for surveillance with data uploaded to cloud accounts.
Catalyst (10%)
Life-Threatening Event 5 – The perp’s house in Fargo has IEDs which will spread Mustard over more than a city block and the EUDs are sophisticated with anti-tamper devices which make the EOD teams extremely risky.
Mystery 7 – The perp’s house in Fargo is destroyed through explosives and seeded with Mustard but using Site Sensitive Exploitation (SSE) procedures developed by the DoD SOF, the HRT finds evidence of a ‘safe house’ in Sioux Falls, SD where the Mustard was manufactured. Included in this SSE are indications of a terrorist group made up of Native Americans, ISIS, and possibly other groups working to tear down the US government. — continued original misdirection.
Reveal — The first Fargo safe house has indications of additional houses, apartments, and garages in Fargo, Bismarck, and Grand Rapids, ND. Therefore, this is a huge. complex operation requiring large funds and sophistication. This must be the work of either a domestic or foreign terrorist group.
Villain’s Plan 3 – Further distraction through attacks on Bismarck and Grand Rapids.
Mystery 5 – With the collection of data on the attacks, the Bismarck and Grand Rapids attacks have no surveillance video showing a perp, only the Fargo attacks show a perp. — another crack in the misdirection and clue to this being something other than a VEO.
Debate (10% – 20%)
Life-Threatening Event 8 – Frank Walters and Robert Williams receive direct pressure from the ND representatives and senators to find the terrorist group. They see Jennifer’s focus on a possible single perp as a threat and threaten dismissal or disgrace to Jennifer if she does not stop.
Villain’s Plan 4 – Start of the attacks on the Midwest power infrastructure to increase pressure.
Life-Threatening Event 9 – Jennifer travels to Sioux Falls as part of the reconnaissance advanced team to place surveillance on the house with a focus on what the HRT will need to know for their assault. As part of the assault, she is slightly injured, but two members are killed and five members are hospitalized.
Mystery 8 – Who is the Lakota, Everett Dixon, whose remains are found in the Sioux Falls safe house?
Mystery 9 – The SSE found in Sioux Falls leads the CIRG/JTTF to a safe house in the Midwest.
Villain’s Plan 5 – The safe house in Sioux Falls includes a chemical lab in the basement and SCUBA diving air generators to fill and mix gases.
Reveal – There is a Sioux Falls, SD safe house location containing the Mustard powder manufacturing and some mixed gas facility. Discovery and surveillance show at least one individual in the house.
Reveal – Everett Dixon, a member of the Lakota tribe, owns the house and a SCUBA diving business, including filling air tanks. Dixon is a former member of the US Army Special Forces as a weapons sergeant and is a current member of a native American protest group. The take down of the house does not go well for the HRT due to booby traps and IEDs which kill and injure several operators. Everett Dixon is ‘vaporized’ in an explosion as the HRT takes the house. Jennifer Andrews is among the injured.
Direction: Terrorist group successfully attacks inside the US.
Twist: This may be a single individual out for revenge, using the killing of hundreds and maiming thousands to mask his vengeance.
Misdirection — by the end of Act 1, the audience should be convinced the attacks are due to a VEO, probably foreign to some domestic ties. But there should also be a grain of doubt.
ACT II
Break into Act II (20%)
As Jeff and Jorge refine the Fargo homicide data, they find several deaths outside of the city of civilians who are not lawyers or judges. Why were they killed?
MYSTERY 3: Why is the extended family group killed and is there a relationship between them and the 14 non-lawyer civilians killed around Fargo?
RESULT: The real focus of the Fargo, ND attacks were the family group, former jury members, and lawyers on the criminal trial and suit against Grace Miller.
CLUES:
Overt: Jorge and Jeff discuss this with Jennifer, the extended family group sued Grace Miller over the death and undue influence on an aunt. The jury included the 14 people killed.
Overt: The family’s lawyer, Miller’s lawyer, and Judge were among the first people killed in Fargo. </div><div>Overt: All the firm’s lawyers for both the family and Miller were killed.
Overt: All the Federal, ND State, County, and City Judges were killed as well as almost all of the clerks and administrative personnel.
Reveal – After going through the hundreds of killed and thousands injured in Fargo, Jeff and Jorge discover a small number of civilians belong to the same extended family and most resided outside the primary Fargo attacks. M.I.S. – the attack across multiple cities is huge and uses WDM (Mustard powder) to expand the scope. Confusion and cover-up by the total number of people killed and injured. Letters delivered to media sites indicate a campaign against courts by Native Americans. Increasing political and media pressure to identify, arrest, or kill the terrorist group leaders. Multiple Native American leaders state there are no terrorist activity by any of the tribes.
Mystery 6 – The civilians killed are all part of the same family group Why were they killed?
Life-Threatening Event 6 – Jeff and Jorge take their findings about the odd group of civilian deaths to the FBI Assistant Director in charge of the CIRG and the Joint Terrorist Task Force (JTTF), Frank Walters but Director Walters does not agree and still believes these are anomalies.
Life-Threatening Event 7 – Jennifer hears about the anomalous civilian deaths, she seeks out Jeff and Jorge to find out more. When her HRT supervisory agent, Robert Williams, hears of this, he orders her to stop this line of inquiry and focus on developing the ‘battlespace’ for the HRT follow-on forces. Jennifer does her job but also works with Jeff and Jorge, including allowing access to multiple Federal databases.
Trust: Andrews is encouraged to present directly to the Assistant Director in charge of the investigation. Walters. He agrees that the evidence appears to indicate something different than a standard foreign or domestic terror group.
Distrust: Walters receives pressure from the US Senators and three Representatives from ND that he finds the terrorist group.
Distrust: Williams places pressure on Andrews to put aside the singleton theory and put emphasizes her AFO duties.
Trust: Williams has known Andrews for years from being her commanding officer in the Army to encouraging her to apply to the FBI and then sponsoring her for selection into the FBI’s HRT, finally letting her create an Advanced Force Operations (AFO) cell within the HRT.
Distrust: Andrews presents the findings from the Fargo PD detectives. Williams seems to agree but when discourages Walters from agreeing.
Direction: single perpetrator out for revenge.
Twist: The SSE recovered from the safe houses prove to the FBI, DHS, and ATF. This is a larger terrorist group.
B story (22%)
Misdirection — Scott’s surveillance identifies some level of focus on the killings of the family group, their legal team, and the jury, so he increases the level by attacking the power infrastructure and additional courthouses and lawyers throughout the Midwest, South, and Southeastern US.
Villain’s Plan 6 – The use of fake cell towers leased by ‘Midsouth Mobility, LLD’ which is owned through multiple shell companies that eventually lead to an account in Lichtenstein.
Villain’s Plan 7 – The use of stolen military weapons for the attacks using the cell towers.
Life-Threatening Event 10 – Prior to the assault on the Sioux Falls house, attacks begin on the power infrastructure in the Midwest by using cell towers with high powered military weapons, 50-caliber machine-guns, 81mm mortars, and recoilless rifles. These take out the critical substations with very high and extremely high power transformers.
Direction: Military weapons indicate a sophisticated terrorist group.
Twist: Retrieved serial numbers of sites show all weapons were from DoD Armory robberies but more than ten years ago.
Reveal – The fake cell towers used in the power system infrastructure attacks were leasing land paid for by Midsouth Mobility, LLC. This company is a shell within a shell, but eventually FBI accountants trace funds back to banks in Lichtenstein. The FBI and Interpol go after the funding in these accounts.
Reveal – The weapons used in the infrastructure attacks were stolen from US military armories but the thefts were more than 10 years ago and were ‘commando-like’ raids.
Mystery 6 – The civilians killed were members of a jury pool more than 15 years ago. Why were they killed? Does this have to do with a trial more than 15 years ago?
Reveal – Fourteen civilians killed in the Fargo attacks had been part of a jury more than 15 years ago. The number killed in the attack slows down the discovery process. The trial was for Grace Miller, who died 15 years ago. The extended family killed was related to Grace and won a verdict against her. Grace’s husband, Scott, is still alive but is 71 years old, working as a computer network security engineer. One of her daughters is a US Army CID warrant officer. Her son is a US Army Special Forces engineering sergeant who would be an expert with explosives including IEDs. — Misdirection – a focus on Scott’s children who are active military and have the right qualifications.
Direction: FBI Assistant Director in charge of the investigation sees merit in the revenge motive.
Twist: The increased scope and scale of the attacks make a singleton perpetrator impossible.
Trust: Andrews out of the hospital brings further evidence to Walters that the perpetrator must have extensive US military and special operations experience
Fun and Games (20% – 50%)
Villain’s Plan 8 – The use of cloud, advanced automation techniques, and artificial intelligence to pace the attacks and surveilance of locations. The use of AI allows only the necessary surveillance to alert Scott.
Mystery 10 – How can the terrorist strike dozens of power sites simultaneously?
Life-Threatening Event 11 – Jennifer is sent to examine a ‘false’ cell phone tower with a small team of HRT operatives. When they arrive, they are under surveillance and when they arrive, the team and their vehicles are taken under fire by a 50 caliber machine-gun.
Mystery 11 – Do all the false cell towers have terrorist surveillance?
Reveal – Scott is an engineer and expert in cloud computing, security, advanced encryption techniques, automation, and artificial intelligence. He has multiple patents and copyrights.
Life-Threatening Event 12 – Jeff and Jorge bring more evidence to Jennifer that the attack on ND is simple revenge and not a more sophisticated terrorist group. Convinced, she goes directly to Frank Walters who listens, but the pressure from executive and legislature branches who need these escalating attacks to be part of ISIS and not a single man bent on revenge. He threatens her with immediate dismissal and being black listing to prevent her from ever working in law enforcement.
Trust: Andrews believes the evidence and information the Fargo PD detectives have gathered.
Direction: Federal law enforcement focuses on identifying the terrorist group through SSE and taking down the identified safe houses.
Twist: The body parts recovered of Dixon in Sioux Falls have ice crystals, he had been frozen before the HRT took down the house and the IED nearly vaporized him.
Mystery 12 – Who is Scott Miller?
Reveal – Scott worked as a reserve Police Officer and Deputy Sheriff for about 15 years.
Villain’s Plan 9 – Scott uses general aviation assets through multiple IDs for untracked movement around the country. He hires an actor ‘look alike’ for the ND attack timeframe. He kills the actor to remove the link.
Mystery 13 – Scott Miller has an alibi for the time of the attack in ND, he is working in Atlanta.
Midpoint (50%)
MYSTERY 4: Could a single individual manage the scope of these attacks?
END RESULT: Given the scope of the attacks, one person with the correct set of skills and total ruthlessness could accomplish the attacks, but acquiring the funding would probably require at least a small group. — Misdirection — Scott is too old to accomplish these attacks and has an alibi.
CLUES:
Covert: Would a person kill hundreds and injure thousands of people, including children, in order to obfuscate the killing of a select few? </div><div>
Overt: Scott Miller is 71 years old. Could he be fit enough to escape the police during the Fargo attacks?
Overt: Scott does not look like the person in the Fargo videos.
Overt: Scott has an alibi for the time of the Fargo attacks.
Covert: An actor was killed the weekend after the Fargo attacks who has a resemblance to Scott.
Overt: Scott was a reserve police office and attended courses at the NC State Police Academy on forensics, investigative techniques, and homicide investigations.
Overt: Scott was a reserve Deputy Sheriff who served on the county SWAT as a trainer, assaulter, sniper, and EOD technician.
Covert: During his time in law enforcement, a vigilante attacked more than a dozen drug houses, killing all the residents and stealing the cash but not the drugs.
Overt: Scott is an expert at computer automation and has created artificial intelligence programs to run network management for Internet service providers.
Overt: Scott retired from the US Army before starting his computer consulting business as a Chief Warrant Officer with service in two special mission units (SMU).
Covert: Scott’s military personnel file is heavily redacted, preventing the FBI and DHS from understanding what he did at the SMUs. However, they did find that he spoke several foreign languages fluently, qualified in weapons, engineering, and communications in Special Forces. He also qualified as an SF Combat Dive Supervisor, which would include skills in using mixed gas and closed circuit diving, as well as numerous other skills.
Covert: Under the redacted portion of his personnel file, Scott worked closely with the US Secret Service, FBI, DHS, and NSA.
Covert: Scott has many close friends who are combat veterans of SF and SOF. These people might be available for mercenary work.
Life-Threatening Event 13 – Jeff, Jorge, and Jennifer begin investigating Scott Miller, but other than a generic US Army record in SOF and retirement as a CW4, they have very few details. They do find that he is a highly successful computer network engineer over the last 20 years. As they dig, Jorge is killed with Jeff and Jennifer, both wounded – but Scott has an alibi for the time of their attack.
Reveal – Scott retired from the US Army after 30 years as a Special Operations warrant officer with more than 20 years in Special Mission Units. Their daughter and son both are overseas during the Fargo attacks. Scott was working in Atlanta and stayed there the weekend of the attacks. Scott’s personnel file has more redacted portions than open.
Direction: The search by Jeff, Jorge, and Jennifer has been dangerous but impersonal.
Twist: They are under surveillance and considered a threat by the perp.
Villain’s Plan 10 – Scott created the initial war chest through attacks on drug houses in the Southeast region. He identified the houses through his county Deputy Sheriff’s access.
Villain’s Plan 11 – Scott increases the war chest by attacks on armored cars carrying diamonds and large amounts of cash from gambling.
Mystery 14 – If Scott Miller is the perp, how has he gotten the funding and weapons for an operation of this scope?
Mystery 15 – Could this all have been planned and put into place over the last 15 years without anyone realizing it? — Possible misdirection through dialogue, the FBI does not want to admit to not putting together the clues from the large armored car robberies or the long period of time Scott may have take to put all of this together.
Bad Guys Close In (50% – 70%)
Distrust: Walters has Andrews suspended for failure to follow orders and insubordination.
Life-Threatening Event 14 – Jennifer is placed on suspension while in the hospital. She takes her findings to the DoD and Delta operatives on the CIDG/JTTF.
Mystery 15 – DoD agents find Scott’s ‘201 file’ heavily redacted and of not much more use than what Jennifer has already discovered.
Mystery 16 – The Delta operatives discover more since Scott had been in 1st SFOD-D for 12 years before going to the Intelligence Support Activity (ISA) for another 10 years.
Reveal — The Delta operatives reach out to the ISA to get ‘read on’ to projects and activities. The query reaches up the ranks until the commanders of the units talking.
All is Lost (75%)
Trust: Andrews is encouraged to present directly to the Assistant Director in charge of the investigation. Walters. He agrees that the evidence appears to indicate something different from a standard foreign or domestic terror group.
Distrust: Walters receives pressure from the US Senators and three Representatives from ND that he finds the terrorist group.
Distrust: Williams places pressure on Andrews to put aside the singleton theory and get back to her AFO duties.
Distrust: Williams and Walters under political pressure to find a foreign terrorist group which the US can attack, work to disgrace Andrews within the FBI.
Life-Threatening Event 15 – Frank Walters finds out that Jennifer has given the DoD and SOF operatives sensitive FBI information, he lets her know that her career at the FBI is now at an end.
Villain’s Plan 16 – Increase the number of attacks and pressure on law enforcement agencies.
Mystery 17 – With Scott under surveillance, the attacks in the Midwest, South, and Southeast continue and even increase in their pace and scope. More than a quarter of the nation is having brown outs or even blackouts. More than 100 courthouses have been blown up to the point of being razed. How can Scott continue doing this with the level of surveillance on him? — Misdirection — the scope is beyond what any one man could accomplish.
Villain’s Plan 17 – Distraction by getting the FBI and DHS focus on other safe houses he’s allowed them to discover. — Misdirection — additional members of VEOs to focus the investigations.
Mystery 18 – The other safe houses discovered have a mixture of Native Americans, Arabs, Black, and Hispanics with indications of their complicity in the terrorist attacks.
Direction: Discovery of the terrorist network of safe houses.
Twist: The body parts recovered have ice crystals like Dixon. All were frozen before the explosive dismemberment.
Mystery 19 – Even as the safe houses are rolled up, the attacks on the infrastructure continue and even increase.
Dark Night of the Soul (75% – 80%)
Mystery 20 – The commanders of Delta and the Activity place the full resources of multiple teams on Scott to figure out if he is the perp of the worst terrorist attack in US history. Scott was a plank owner for the AFO G Squadron and an expert in singleton intelligence operations, which he perfected at the Activity. If he is the perp, they will have him killed.
Life-Threatening Event 20 – Jennifer is confronted by operators from Delta’s F Squadron warning her off, hinting that they will take care of their own.
Life-Threatening Event 21 – When Jennifer does not drop it, she is abducted a block from Scott’s home, taken to an unknown location with a black hood over her head and hands cuffed behind her back.
ACT III
Break into Act III (80%)
Mystery 21 – Does the DoD or Delta have evidence that Scott is the perp?
Life-Threatening Event 22 – Released, Jennifer manages to get through surveillance to confront Scott at his home and question him.
Finale (80% – 99%)
Life-Threatening Event 23 – Jennifer is picked back up when she leaves Scott’s house. Rather than threatening her, a DIA operative offers her an opportunity to switch from the FBI over to either the DIA or NSA with an increase in pay grade and the solving of this case.
Mystery 22 – While Scott appears to be safe, he prepares to leave for South America. Why does he leave and why are the attacks continuing?
Villain’s Plan 18 – Finish and escape to live another day.
Mystery 23 – Scott leaves for Brazil.
Final Image (99% – 100%)
Scott is assassinated in Ireland (or Sao Paulo, Brazil?) by an IC contractor who once worked for Scott at the Intelligence Support Activity while Jennifer watches from a concealed position.
Direction: Jennifer has dedicated 10 years to the FBI and plans on it as a career.
Twist: She resigns from the FBI, hired at the DIA, then volunteers for the Activity.
</div>
-
Subject line: Jim Thompson Gives Great Clues!
“What I learned is…?”
I’m having some trouble differentiating between my ‘reveals’ and the clues which has left me with a great deal of overlap between the two. I would agree that I am filling in some of the blanks within the story but creating new and also duplicating.
ASSIGNMENT
List out the three or four main mysteries in your story.
Mystery 1 – Why has a terrorist organization attacked North Dakota?
Mystery 2 – How did the terrorists place Mustard powder in hundreds of camouflaged power transformers around Fargo, Bismarck, and Grand Rapids?
Mystery 3 – Why is the extended family group killed and is there a relationship between them and the 14 non-lawyer civilians killed around Fargo?
Mystery 4 – Could a single individual manage the scope of attacks?
Create a list of clues for each of the main mysteries in your story.
Mystery 1 – Why has a terrorist organization attacked North Dakota?
A Native American group seeking to change the injustice done to them over the life of the country. <div>
Video from Fargo shows a large man escaping from the police to a ‘safe house’ then changing vehicles at a garage and moving to another house.
Pictures of the Lakota Indian, Everett Dixon, resemble the person shown in the night time videos from Fargo.
A letter is delivered to major newspapers throughout the country (in all 48 continental states), claiming responsibility for the attacks in North Dakota on the injustice system.
A second letter is delivered to the same group when the attacks begin on the power infrastructure in the Midwest.
Letters arrive weekly as courthouses throughout the West, Midwest, South, and Southeast are destroyed by explosives or the power grid in different areas is attacked.
Mystery 2 – How did the terrorists place Mustard powder in hundreds of camouflaged power transformers around Fargo, Bismarck, and Grand Rapids?
Use of fake power company trucks found in garages in the cities. </div><div>
Mustard powder is a simple chemical agent to create.
Mustard powder can be mixed with hydrogen and oxygen to create an explosive mixture that will spread the chemical agent over a large area.
The equipment, houses, garages, and material for the chemical agent cost a great deal of money and require identification both can be traced.
The FBI and DHS discover more than 20 different identities used to buy or rent property, vehicles, and material.
FBI accountants discover multiple bank accounts with linkage to several offshore banks – Caymans, Lichtenstein, Zurich, Bahrain, and U.A.E.
Working with Interpol, the FBI are able to freeze or seize more than $10 million.
Mystery 3 – Why is the extended family group killed and is there a relationship between them and the 14 non-lawyer civilians killed around Fargo?
The extended family group sued Grace Miller over the death and undo influence on an aunt. </div>
The jury included the 14 people killed.
The family’s lawyer, Miller’s lawyer, and Judge were among the people killed.
All of the firm’s lawyers for both the family and Miller were killed.
All of the Federal, ND State, County, and City Judges were killed as well as almost all of the clerks and administrative personnel.
All of the courthouses in Fargo, Bismarck, and Grand Rapids were destroyed or severely damaged by explosives then contaminated with Mustard powder.
This seems more retribution than an attempt to change the justice system for Native Americans.
<div>
Mystery 4 – Could a single individual manage the scope of attacks?
Would a person kill hundreds and injure thousands of people including children in order to obfuscate the killing of a select few? </div><div>
Scott Miller is 71 years old. Could he be fit enough to escape the police during the Fargo attacks?
Scott Miller does not look like the person in the Fargo videos.
Scott Miller has an alibi for the time of the Fargo attacks.
Scott Miller was a reserve police officer and attended courses on forensics and investigative techniques.Scott Miller was a reserve Deputy Sheriff who served on the county SWAT as an assaulter, sniper, and EOD technician.
Scott Miller is an expert at computer automation and has created artificial intelligence programs to run network management for Internet service providers.
Scott Miller is wealthy (more than $100 Million) but his money trail does not lead to any of the attacks or any of the offshore banks.
Scott Miller is under intense surveillance by the FBI, DHS, and NSA but the power infrastructure and courthouse attacks continue.
Scott Miller retired from the US Army having served in Special Forces as a warrant officer and with at least two special mission units (SMU).
Scott Miller’s personnel file is heavily redacted preventing the FBI and DHS from understanding what he did at the SMUs but he speaks several languages fluently, qualified in weapons, engineering, and communications in Special Forces. He qualified as a SF Combat Dive Supervisor, Military Free Fall Jumpmaster, and many other skill sets.
Scott Miller’s military and computer skills would enable him to create the environment for the ND attacks, if he had enough time and money.
Scott Miller has close friends retired from SF and SOF who could be available for mercenary work.
Under the redacted portion of his personnel file, Scott Miller worked with the US Secret Service, FBI, DHS, and NSA.
Decide which clues you want to use and sequence those into clue trails for each mystery.
MYSTERY 1: Why has a terrorist organization attacked North Dakota?
END RESULT: An American Indian protest group experiencing multiple arrests with long prison sentences for minor infractions has partnered with ISIS and other foreign terrorist groups to attack what they have termed the ‘injustice’ system.
CLUES:
A Native American group seeking to change the injustice done to them over the life of the country. </div><div>
Video from Fargo shows a large man escaping from the police to a ‘safe house’ then changing vehicles at a garage and moving to another house.
Pictures of the Lakota Indian, Everett Dixon, resemble the person shown in the night time videos from Fargo.
A letter is delivered to major newspapers throughout the country (in all 48 continental states), claiming responsibility for the attacks in North Dakota on the injustice system.
The Sioux Falls ‘safe house’ was purchased by Everett Dixon.
A second letter is delivered to the same group when the attacks begin on the power infrastructure in the Midwest.
The Waukegan ‘safe house’ was purchased by Everett Dixon but Mahmud Bishara is killed by IED explosives during an HRT attack on the house.
Mahmud has a connection to ISIS-Khorasan out of Afghanistan and made his way to Chicago by way of Spain and Canada more than eight years ago then dropped out of sight.
Letters arrive weekly as courthouses throughout the West, Midwest, South, and Southeast are destroyed by explosives or the power grid in different areas is attacked.
MYSTERY 2: How did the terrorists place Mustard powder in hundreds of camouflaged power transformers around Fargo, Bismarck, and Grand Rapids?
END RESULT: The terrorist began placing the fake power transformers for more than ten years. They have also placed explosives inside the courthouses at least five years ago during a remodeling project. The law offices, courthouses, and even the homes of the lawyers killed were under sophisticated surveillance with wireless Internet access sending data and pictures up to cloud-based accounts.
CLUES:
The terrorist organization used fake power company trucks several found in garages in each of the cities. </div><div>
Mustard powder is a simple chemical agent to create.
Mustard powder can be mixed with hydrogen and oxygen to create an explosive mixture that will spread the chemical agent over a large area.
Military explosives were used to destroy the courthouses in the ND cities including PETN, RDX, and C4.
Outside of the judge’s house, the Fargo PD finds video surveillance on all of the external doors and inside the house the FBI electronic forensic team discovers all of the ‘smart’ devices in the house were used for surveillance.
This surveillance was duplicated at each business, courthouses, and the homes of the lawyers killed.
When the FBI attempted to access the data stored in the cloud, the data was erased then overwritten multiple times.
Recovery of data showed an extensive set of data developing a pattern of life for the surveilled individual or family.
The equipment, houses, garages, and material for the chemical agent cost a great deal of money and require identification both can be traced.
The FBI and DHS discover more than 20 different identities used to buy or rent property, vehicles, and material.
FBI accountants discover multiple bank accounts with linkage to several offshore banks – Caymans, Lichtenstein, Zurich, Bahrain, and U.A.E.
Working with Interpol, the FBI are able to freeze or seize more than $10 million.MYSTERY 3: Why is the extended family group killed and is there a relationship between them and the 14 non-lawyer civilians killed around Fargo?
END RESULT: The real focus of the Fargo, ND attacks were the family group, former jury members, and lawyers on the criminal trial and suit against Grace Miller.
CLUES:
The extended family group sued Grace Miller over the death and undue influence on an aunt.</div><div>
The jury included the 14 people killed.
The family’s lawyer, Miller’s lawyer, and Judge were among the first people killed in Fargo.
All of the firm’s lawyers for both the family and Miller were killed.
All of the Federal, ND State, County, and City Judges were killed as well as almost all of the clerks and administrative personnel.
All of the courthouses in Fargo, Bismarck, and Grand Rapids were destroyed or severely damaged by explosives then contaminated with Mustard powder.
This seems more retribution than an attempt to change the justice system for Native Americans.
MYSTERY 4: Could a single individual manage the scope of attacks?
END RESULT: Given the scope of the attacks, one person with the correct set of skills and total ruthlessness could accomplish the attacks but acquiring the funding would probably require at least a small group.
CLUES:
Would a person kill hundreds and injure thousands of people including children in order to obfuscate the killing of a select few? </div><div>
Scott Miller is 71 years old. Could he be fit enough to escape the police during the Fargo attacks?
Scott Miller does not look like the person in the Fargo videos.
Scott Miller has an alibi for the time of the Fargo attacks.
Scott Miller was a reserve police officer and attended courses on forensics and investigative techniques.Scott Miller was a reserve Deputy Sheriff who served on the county SWAT as a trainer, assaulter, sniper, and EOD technician.
During his time on the SWAT team, there were more than a dozen drug houses raided by a vigilante who killed the people in the house and took their money.
Scott Miller is an expert at computer automation and has created artificial intelligence programs to run network management for Internet service providers.
The FBI identify a Nebraska realtor company that arranged the leases for Midwest Mobility, LLC on farm land across the state.
The FBI identify a subcontractor working for Midwest Mobility, LLC putting up the cell towers in Nebraska and Iowa.
Scott Miller is wealthy (more than $100 Million) but his money trail does not lead to any of the attacks or any of the offshore banks.
Scott Miller is under intense surveillance by the FBI, DHS, and NSA but the power infrastructure and courthouse attacks continue.
Scott Miller retired from the US Army having served in Special Forces as a warrant officer and with at least two special mission units (SMU).
Scott Miller’s personnel file is heavily redacted preventing the FBI and DHS from understanding what he did at the SMUs but he speaks several languages fluently, qualified in weapons, engineering, and communications in Special Forces. He qualified as a SF Combat Dive Supervisor, Military Free Fall Jumpmaster, and many other skill sets.
Scott Miller’s military and computer skills would enable him to create the environment for the ND attacks, if he had enough time and money.
Scott Miller has close friends retired from SF and SOF who could be available for mercenary work.
Under the redacted portion of his personnel file, Scott Miller worked with the US Secret Service, FBI, DHS, and NSA.
The latest version of your Thriller Map –
ACT I
Opening Image (0% – 1%)
Life Threatening Event 1 – Three police cars have a suspect trapped inside the house of a judge. The suspect fires on the cars disabling all of them. As the police get ready to breach the house, the Fargo courthouse explodes along with several business in downtown Fargo, ND.
Mystery 1 – Who is the person shooting the police?
Mystery 2 – Why have the buildings exploded?
Villain’s Plan 1 – The real reason for the attacks in ND and the killing of lawyers is more complicated.
Setup (1% – 10%)
Villain’s Plan 2 – Make the ND attacks the worse terrorist event in US history to have multiple Federal and State law enforcement agencies interact.
Life Threatening Event 2 – The courthouse and many other buildings are contaminated with Mustard gas/powder. In addition, the power structure for the city has been taken down with the substations contaminated with Mustard. This has resulted in hundreds of injuries of first responders and power company workers.
Villain’s Plan 2 – Distraction of the Federal LEAs through ruthless attacks and use of Mustard to injure and kill, increase pressure for a quick solution.
Primary Mystery 1 – Why has a terrorist organization attacked cities in North Dakota?
END RESULT: An American Indian protest group experiencing multiple arrests with long prison sentences for minor infractions has partnered with ISIS and other foreign terrorist groups to attack what they have termed the ‘injustice’ system.
CLUES:
Overt: Meeting of the CIRG including FBI, DHS, ATF (EOD team), US Marshal Service, and Fargo PD with the FBI Assistant Director asking why Fargo, ND rather than a much larger and more strategic target. This attack including the sophistication of using a WMD against first responders does not make sense. </div><div>
Covert: Video from Fargo shows a large man escaping from the police to a ‘safe house’ then changing vehicles at a garage and moving to another house. Pictures of a Lakota Indian, Everett Dixon, resemble the person show in the night time video from Fargo.
Overt: A manifesto is delivered by USPS to newspapers, political podcasters, and other media claiming responsibility for the attacks in North Dakota on the systemic injustice done to Native American by the State of North Dakota and the Interior Departments BIA.
Overt: The Sioux Falls ‘safe house’ was purchased by Everett Dixon. He is also the owner of the SCUBA diving business located at the residence.
Life Threatening Event 3 – Fargo PD Detectives Jeff Peters and Jorge Robertson get video of the perpetrator’s escape from the uniformed officers. Using the video, they find a house where the perp may be located. When the detectives investigate with SWAT backup, they discover what appear to be improvised explosive devices protecting the property and back off for the explosive ordinance disposal (EOD) team.
Life Threatening Event 4 – Before the Fargo PD EOD team arrives, planes carrying the Critical Incident Response Group (CIRG) from the FBI and including members of DHS, ATF, US Marshall Service, and DoD investigators (includes members of Delta’s WMD squadron). This also brings Special Agent Jennifer Andrews part the FBI’s Hostage Rescue Team (HRT) advanced force who will prepare the ‘environment’ for the HRT squadron.
Mystery 3 – Why did the attackers use Mustard in their attacks? How did they manufacture Mustard?
Mystery 4 – How did the terrorists place the Mustard in containers camouflaged as power transformers?
Primary Mystery 2 – How did the terrorists place Mustard powder in hundreds of camouflaged power transformers around Fargo, Bismarck, and Grand Rapids?
END RESULT: The terrorist began placing the fake power transformers over more than the last 10 years. They have also place explosives inside the courthouses at least five years ago with some done during a Federal Justice Department remodeling project. The law offices, courthouses, and even the home of the lawyers killed were under sophisticated surveillance with wireless Internet access sending data and video up to cloud-based accounts.
CLUES:
Overt: Some of the garages discovered in Fargo, Bismarck, and Grand Rapids have fake power company trucks, including ‘Cherry pickers’ for placing or replacing transformers </div><div>
Covert: Mustard powder is a simple chemical agent to create.
Overt: The Sioux Falls ‘safe house’ has the facilities to create the Mustard powder in quantity and to place it into containers using the mixed gas SCUBA filling system.
Overt: The ATF investigators determine many of the courthouses and other building destroyed were from military explosives including RDX and PETN which are used in aerial bombs and artillery shells. They also found the use of C4 explosives used by the US Army and USMC.
Overt: Outside of the judge’s house, the Fargo PD finds video surveillance on all the external doors and inside the house, the FBI electronic forensic team discovers all of the ‘smart’ devices in the house being used for surveillance with data uploaded to cloud accounts.
Catalyst (10%)
Life Threatening Event 5 – The perp’s house in Fargo has IEDs which will spread Mustard over more than a city block and the EUDs are sophisticated with anti-tamper devices which make the task of the EOD teams extremely risky.
Mystery 7 – The perp’s house in Fargo is destroyed through explosives and seeded with Mustard but using Site Sensitive Exploitation (SSE) procedures developed by the DoD SOF, the HRT finds evidence of a ‘safe house’ in Sioux Falls, SD where the Mustard was manufactured. Included in this SSE are indications of a terrorist group made up of Native Americans, ISIS, and possibly other groups working to tear down the US government.
Reveal — The first Fargo safe house has indications of additional houses, apartments, and garages in Fargo, Bismarck, and Grand Rapids, ND. Therefore, this is a huge. complex operation requiring large funds and sophistication This must be the work of either a domestic or foreign terrorist group.
Villain’s Plan 3 – Further distraction through attacks on Bismarck and Grand Rapids.
Mystery 5 – With the collection of data on the attacks, the Bismarck and Grand Rapid attacks have no surveillance video showing a perp, only the Fargo attacks show a perp.
Debate (10% – 20%)
Life Threatening Event 8 – Frank Walters and Robert Williams receive direct pressure from the ND representatives and senators to find the terrorist group. They see Jennifer’s focus on a possible single perp as a threat and threaten dismissal or disgrace to Jennifer if she does not stop.
Villain’s Plan 4 – Start of the attacks on the Midwest power infrastructure to increase pressure.
Life Threatening Event 9 – Jennifer travels to Sioux Falls as part of the reconnaissance advanced team to place surveillance on the house with a focus on what the HRT will need to know for their assault. As part of the assault, she is slightly injured but two members are killed and five members are hospitalized.
Mystery 8 – Who is the Lakota, Everett Dixon, whose remains are found in the Sioux Falls safe house?
Mystery 9 – The SSE found in Sioux Falls leads the CIRG/JTTF to a safe house in the Midwest.
Villain’s Plan 5 – The safe house in Sioux Falls includes a chemical lab in the basement and SCUBA diving air generators to fill and mix gases.
Reveal – There is a Sioux Falls, SD safe house location containing the Mustard powder manufacturing and some mixed gas facility. Discovery and surveillance show at least one individual in the house.
Reveal – Everett Dixon, a member of the Lakota tribe, owns the house and a SCUBA diving business including filling air tanks. Dixon is a former member of the US Army Special Forces as a weapons sergeant and is a current member of a native American protest group. The take down of the house does not go well for the HRT due to booby traps and IEDs which kill and injure several operators. Everett Dixon is ‘vaporized’ in an explosion as the HRT takes the house. Jennifer Andrews is among the injured.
Direction: Terrorist group successfully attacks inside the US.
Twist: This may be a single individual out for revenge, using the killing of hundreds and maiming thousands to mask his vengeance.
ACT II
Break into Act II (20%)
As Jeff and Jorge refine the Fargo homicide data, they find several deaths outside of the city of civilians who are not lawyers or judges. Why were they killed?
MYSTERY 3: Why is the extended family group killed and is there a relationship between them and the 14 non-lawyer civilians killed around Fargo?
END RESULT: The real focus of the Fargo, ND attacks were the family group, former jury members, and lawyers on the criminal trial and suit against Grace Miller.
CLUES:
Overt: Jorge and Jeff discuss this with Jennifer, the extended family group sued Grace Miller over the death and undue influence on an aunt. The jury included the 14 people killed. </div><div>
Overt: The family’s lawyer, Miller’s lawyer, and Judge were among the first people killed in Fargo.
Overt: All of the firm’s lawyers for both the family and Miller were killed.
Overt: All of the Federal, ND State, County, and City Judges were killed as well as almost all of the clerks and administrative personnel.
Reveal – After going through the hundreds of killed and thousands injured in Fargo, Jeff and Jorge discover a small number of civilians belong to the same extended family and most resided outside the primary Fargo attacks. M.I.S. – the attack across multiple cities is huge and uses WDM (Mustard powder) to expand the scope. Confusion and cover-up by the total number of people killed and injured. Letters delivered to media sites indicate a campaign against courts by Native Americans. Increasing political and media pressure to identify, arrest, or kill the terrorist group leaders. Multiple Native American leaders state there are no terrorist activity by any of the tribes.
Mystery 6 – The civilians killed are all part of the same family group Why were they killed?
Life Threatening Event 6 – Jeff and Jorge take their findings about the odd group of civilian deaths to the FBI Assistant Director in charge of the CIRG and the Joint Terrorist Task Force (JTTF), Frank Walters but Director Walters does not agree and still believes these are anomalies.
Life Threatening Event 7 – Jennifer hears about the anomalous civilian deaths, she seeks out Jeff and Jorge to find out more. When her HRT supervisory agent, Robert Williams, hears of this, he orders her to stop this line of inquiry and focus on developing the ‘battlespace’ for the HRT follow on forces. Jennifer does her job but also works with Jeff and Jorge including allowing access to multiple Federal databases.
Trust: Andrews is encouraged to present directly to the Assistant Director in charge of the investigation. Walters. He agrees that the evidence appears to indicate something different than a standard foreign or domestic terror group.
Distrust: Walters receives pressure from the US Senators and three Representatives from ND that he find the terrorist group.
Distrust: Williams places pressure on Andrews to put aside the singleton theory and put emphasizes her AFO duties.
Trust: Williams has known Andrews for years from being her commanding officer in the Army to encouraging her to apply to the FBI and then sponsoring her for selection into the FBI’s HRT, finally letting her create an Advanced Force Operations (AFO) cell within the HRT.
Distrust: Andrews presents the findings from the Fargo PD detectives, Williams seems to agree but when discourages Walters from agreeing.
Direction: Possible single perpetrator out for revenge.
Twist: The SSE recovered from the safe houses prove to the FBI, DHS, and ATF this is a larger terrorist group.
B story (22%)
Villain’s Plan 6 – The use of fake cell towers leased by ‘Midsouth Mobility, LLD’ which is owned through multiple shell companies that eventually lead to an account in Lichtenstein.
Villain’s Plan 7 – The use of stolen military weapons for the attacks using the cell towers.
Life Threatening Event 10 – Prior to the assault on the Sioux Falls house, attacks begin on the power infrastructure in the Midwest by using cell towers with high powered military weapons, 50 caliber machine-guns, 81mm Mortars, and recoilless rifles. These take out the critical substations with very high and extremely high power transformers.
Direction: Military weapons indicate a sophisticated terrorist group.
Twist: Retrieved serial numbers from sites show all weapons were from DoD Armory robberies but more than ten years ago.
Reveal – The fake cell towers used in the power system infrastructure attacks were leasing land paid for by Midsouth Mobility, LLC. This company is a shell within a shell but eventually FBI accountants trace funds back to banks in Lichtenstein. The FBI and Interpol go after the funding in these accounts.
Reveal – The weapons used in the infrastructure attacks were stolen from US military armories but the thefts were more than 10 years ago and were ‘commando-like’ raids.
Mystery 6 – The civilians killed were members of a jury pool more than 15 years ago. Why were they killed? Does this have to do with a trial more than 15 years ago?
Reveal – Fourteen civilians killed in the Fargo attacks had been part of a jury more than 15 years ago. The number killed in the attack slows down the discovery process.The trial was for Grace Miller who died 15 years ago. The extended family killed were related to Grace and won a verdict against her. Grace’s husband, Scott, is still alive but is 71 years old working as a computer network security engineer. One of her daughters is a US Army CID warrant officer. Her son is a US Army Special Forces engineering sergeant who would be an expert with explosives including IEDs.
Direction: FBI Assistant Director in charge of the investigation sees merit in the revenge motive.
Twist: The increased scope and scale of the attacks make a singleton perpetrator impossible.
Trust: Andrews out of the hospital, brings further evidence to Walters that the perpetrator must have extensive US military and special operations experience
Fun and Games (20% – 50%)
Villain’s Plan 8 – The use of cloud, advanced automation techniques, and artificial intelligence to pace the attacks as well as surveil the locations. The use of AI allows only necessary surveillance to alert Scott.
Mystery 10 – How can the terrorist strike dozens of power sites simultaneously?
Life Threatening Event 11 – Jennifer is sent to examine a ‘false’ cell phone tower with a small team of HRT operatives. When they arrive, they are under surveillance and when they arrive, the team and their vehicles are taken under fire by a 50 caliber machine-gun.
Mystery 11 – Do all of the false cell towers have terrorist surveillance?
Reveal – Scott is an engineer and expert in cloud computing, security, advanced encryption techniques, automation, and artificial intelligence. He has multiple patents and copyrights.
Life Threatening Event 12 – Jeff and Jorge bring more evidence to Jennifer that the attack on ND is simple revenge and not a more sophisticated terrorist group. Convinced, she goes directly to Frank Walters who listens but the pressure from executive and legislature branches who need these escalating attacks to be part of ISIS and not a single man bent on revenge. He threatens her with immediate dismissal and being black listing to prevent her from ever working in law enforcement.
Trust: Andrews believes the evidence and information the Fargo PD detectives have gathered.
Direction: Federal law enforcement focuses on identifying the terrorist group through SSE and taking down the identified safe houses.
Twist: The body parts recovered of Dixon in Sioux Falls have ice crystals, he had been frozen before the HRT took down the house and the IED nearly vaporized him.
Mystery 12 – Who is Scott Miller?
Reveal – Scott worked as a reserve Police Officer and Deputy Sheriff for about 15 years.
Villain’s Plan 9 – Scott uses general aviation assets through multiple IDs for untracked movement around the country. He hires an actor ‘look alike’ for the ND attack timeframe. He kills the actor to remove the link.
Mystery 13 – Scott Miller has an alibi for the time of the attack in ND, he is working in Atlanta.
Midpoint (50%)
MYSTERY 4: Could a single individual manage the scope of attacks?
END RESULT: Given the scope of the attacks, one person with the correct set of skills and total ruthlessness could accomplish the attacks but acquiring the funding would probably require at least a small group.
CLUES:
Covert: Would a person kill hundreds and injure thousands of people including children in order to obfuscate the killing of a select few? </div><div>
Overt: Scott Miller is 71 years old. Could he be fit enough to escape the police during the Fargo attacks?
Overt: Scott does not look like the person in the Fargo videos.
Overt: Scott has an alibi for the time of the Fargo attacks.
Covert: An actor was killed the weekend after the Fargo attacks who has a resemblance to Scott.
Overt: Scott was a reserve police office and attended courses at the NC State Police Academy on forensics, investigative techniques, and homicide investigations.
Overt: Scott was a reserve Deputy Sheriff who served on the county SWAT as a trainer, assaulter, sniper, and EOD technician.
Covert: During his time in law enforcement, a vigilante attacked more than a dozen drug houses, killing all of the residents and stealing the cash but not the drugs.
Overt: Scott is an expert at computer automation and has created artificial intelligence programs to run network management for Internet service providers.
Overt: Scott retired from the US Army before starting his computer consulting business as a Chief Warrant Officer with service in two special mission units (SMU).
Covert: Scott’s military personnel file is heavily redacted preventing the FBI and DHS from understanding what he did at the SMUs. However, they did find that he spoke several foreign languages fluently, qualified in weapons, engineering, and communications in Special Forces. He also qualified as an SF Combat Dive Supervisor which would include skills in the use of mixed gas and closed circuit diving as well as a large number of other skills.
Covert: Under the redacted portion of his personnel file, Scott worked closely with the US Secret Service, FBI, DHS, and NSA.
Covert: Scott has a large number of close friends who are combat veterans of SF and SOF. These people might be available for mercenary work.
Life Threatening Event 13 – Jeff, Jorge, and Jennifer begin investigating Scott Miller but other than a generic US Army record in SOF and retirement as a CW4, they have very few details. They do find that he is a highly successful computer network engineer over the last 20 years. As they dig, Jorge is killed with Jeff and Jennifer both wounded – but Scott has an alibi for the time of their attack.
Reveal – Scott retired from the US Army after 30 years as a Special Operations warrant officer with more than 20 years in Special Mission Units. Their daughter and son both are overseas during the Fargo attacks. Scott was working in Atlanta and stayed there the weekend of the attacks. Scott’s personnel file has more redacted portions than open.
Direction: The search by Jeff, Jorge, and Jennifer has been dangerous but impersonal.
Twist: They are under surveillance and considered a threat by the perp.
Villain’s Plan 10 – Scott created the initial war chest through attacks on drug houses in the Southeast region. He identified the houses through his county Deputy Sheriff’s access.
Villain’s Plan 11 – Scott increases the war chest by attacks on armored cars carrying diamonds and large amounts of cash from gambling.
Mystery 14 – If Scott Miller is the perp, how has he gotten the funding and weapons for an operation of this scope?
Mystery 15 – Could this all have been planned and put into place over the last 15 years without anyone realizing it?.
Bad Guys Close In (50% – 70%)
Distrust: Walters has Andrews suspended for failure to follow orders and insubordination.
Life Threatening Event 14 – Jennifer is placed on suspension while in the hospital. She takes her findings to the DoD and Delta operatives on the CIDG/JTTF.
Mystery 15 – DoD agents find Scott’s ‘201 file’ heavily redacted and of not much more use than what Jennifer has already discovered.
Mystery 16 – The Delta operatives discover more since Scott had been in 1st SFOD-D for 12 years before going to the Intelligence Support Activity (ISA) for another 10 years.
Reveal — The Delta operatives reach out to the ISA to get ‘read on’ to projects and activities. The query reaches up the ranks until the commanders of the units talking.
All is Lost (75%)
Trust: Andrews is encouraged to present directly to the Assistant Director in charge of the investigation. Walters. He agrees that the evidence appears to indicate something different than a standard foreign or domestic terror group.
Distrust: Walters receives pressure from the US Senators and three Representatives from ND that he find the terrorist group.
Distrust: Williams places pressure on Andrews to put aside the singleton theory and get back to her AFO duties.
Distrust: Williams and Walters under political pressure to find a foreign terrorist group which the US can attack, work to disgrace Andrews within the FBI.
Life Threatening Event 15 – Frank Walters finds out that Jennifer has given the DoD and SOF operatives sensitive FBI information, he lets her know that her career at the FBI is now at an end.
Villain’s Plan 16 – Increase the number of attacks and pressure on law enforcement agencies.
Mystery 17 – With Scott under surveillance, the attacks in the Midwest, South, and Southeast continue and even increase in their pace and scope. More than a quarter of the nation is having brown outs or even black outs. More than 100 courthouses have been blown up to the point of being razed. How can Scott continue doing this with the level of surveillance on him?
Villain’s Plan 17 – Distraction by getting the FBI and DHS focus on other safe houses he’s allowed them to discover.
Mystery 18 – The other safe houses discovered have a mixture of Native Americans, Arabs, Black, and Hispanics with indications of their complicity in the terrorist attacks.
Direction: Discovery of the terrorist network of safe houses.
Twist: The body parts recovered have ice crystals like Dixon. All were frozen before the explosive dismemberment.
Mystery 19 – Even as the safe houses are rolled up, the attacks on the infrastructure continue and even increase.
Dark Night of the Soul (75% – 80%)
Mystery 20 – The commanders of Delta and the Activity place the full resources of multiple teams on Scott to figure out if he is the perp of the worst terrorist attack in US history. Scott was a plank owner for the AFO G Squadron and an expert in singleton intelligence operations which he perfected at the Activity. If he is the perp, they will have him killed.
Life Threatening Event 20 – Jennifer is confronted by operators from Delta’s F Squadron warning her off, hinting that they will take care of their own.
Life Threatening Event 21 – When Jennifer does not drop it, she is abducted a block from Scott’s home, taken to an unknown location with a black hood over her head and hands cuffed behind her back.
ACT III
Break into Act III (80%)
Mystery 21 – Does the DoD or Delta have evidence that Scott is the perp?
Life Threatening Event 22 – Released, Jennifer manages to get through surveillance to confront Scott at his home and question him.
Finale (80% – 99%)
Life Threatening Event 23 – Jennifer is picked back up when she leaves Scott’s house. Rather than threatening her, a DIA operative offers her an opportunity to switch from the FBI over to either the DIA or NSA with an increase in pay grade.
Mystery 22 – While Scott appears to be safe, he prepares to leave for South America. Why does he leave and why are the attacks continuing?
Villain’s Plan 18 – Finish and escape to live another day.
Mystery 23 – Scott leaves for Brazil.
Final Image (99% – 100%)
Scott is assassinated in Ireland (or Sao Paulo, Brazil?) by an IC contractor who once worked for Scott at the Intelligence Support Activity while Jennifer watches from a concealed position.
Direction: Jennifer has dedicated 10 years to the FBI and plans on it as a career.
Twist: She resigns from the FBI, hired at the DIA then volunteers for the Activity.
</div>
-
Subject line: Jim Thompson’s Dramatic Reveals (place in first line)
“What I learned is…?”
This lesson helped me begin the restructuring. I still need to work on the MIS around each and put them together in the Thriller Map. However, I am beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve modified the ‘map’ to include the reveals. They still need work, particularly in the area of drama and making sure the mystery, intrigue and suspense are at the right level for each.
ASSIGNMENT:
Make a list of the important reveals that you want the audience to experience. <div>
Reveal — The first Fargo safe house has indications of additional houses, apartments, and garages in Fargo, Bismarck, and Grand Rapids, ND.
Therefore, this is a huge. complex operation requiring large funds and sophistication
This must be the work of either a domestic or foreign terrorist group.
Reveal – There is a Sioux Falls, SD safe house location containing the Mustard powder manufacturing and some mixed gas facility.
Discovery and surveillance show at least one individual in the house.
Reveal – Everett Dixon, a member of the Lakota tribe, owns the house and a SCUBA diving business including filling air tanks.
Dixon is a former member of the US Army Special Forces as a weapons sergeant and is a current member of a native American protest group.
The take down of the house does not go well for the HRT due to booby traps and IEDs which kill and injure several operators.
Everett Dixon is ‘vaporized’ in an explosion as the HRT takes the house.
Jennifer Andrews is among the injured.
Reveal – The fake cell towers used in the power system infrastructure attacks were leasing land paid for by Midsouth Mobility, LLC.
This company is a shell within a shell but eventually FBI accountants trace funds back to banks in Lichtenstein.
The FBI and Interpol go after the funding in these accounts.
Reveal – The weapons used in the infrastructure attacks were stolen from US military armories but the thefts were more than 10 years ago and were ‘commando-like’.
Reveal – After going through the hundreds of killed and thousands injured in Fargo, Jeff and Jorge discover a small number of civilians belong to the same extended family and most resided outside the primary Fargo attacks.
M.I.S. – the attack across multiple cities is huge and uses WDM (Mustard powder) to expand the scope.
Confusion and cover-up by the total number of people killed and injured.
Letters delivered to media sites indicate a campaign against courts by Native Americans.
Beginning of political and media pressure to identify, arrest, or kill the terrorist group leaders.
Multiple Native American leaders state there are no terrorist activity by any of the tribes.
Reveal – Fourteen civilians killed in the Fargo attacks had been part of a jury more than 15 years ago.
The number killed in the attack slows down the discovery process.
The trial was for Grace Miller who died 15 years ago.
The extended family killed were related to Grace and won a verdict against her.
Grace’s husband, Scott, is still alive but is 71 years old working as a computer network security engineer.
One of her daughters is a US Army CID warrant officer.
Her son is a US Army Special Forces engineering sergeant who would be an expert with explosives including IEDs.
Reveal – Scott is an engineer and expert in cloud computing, security, advanced encryption techniques, automation, and artificial intelligence.
He has multiple patents and copyrights.
Reveal – Scott worked as a reserve Police Officer and Deputy Sheriff for about 15 years.
Reveal – Scott retired from the US Army after 30 years as a Special Operations warrant officer with more than 20 years in Special Mission Units.
Their daughter and son both are overseas during the Fargo attacks.
Scott was working in Atlanta and stayed there the weekend of the attacks.
Scott’s personnel file has more redacted portions than open.
2. Build any improvements into your Thriller Map.
ACT I
Opening Image (0% – 1%)
Life Threatening Event 1 – Three police cars have a suspect trapped inside the house of a judge. The suspect fires on the cars disabling all of them. As the police get ready to breach the house, the Fargo courthouse explodes along with several business in downtown Fargo, ND.
Mystery 1 – Who is the person shooting the police?
Mystery 2 – Why have the buildings exploded?
Villain’s Plan 1 – The real reason for the attacks in ND and the killing of lawyers is more complicated.
Setup (1% – 10%)
Villain’s Plan 2 – Make the ND attacks the worse terrorist event in US history to have multiple Federal and State law enforcement agencies interact.
Life Threatening Event 2 – The courthouse and many other buildings are contaminated with Mustard gas/powder. In addition, the power structure for the city has been taken down with the substations contaminated with Mustard. This has resulted in hundreds of injuries of first responders and power company workers.
Villain’s Plan 2 – Distraction of the Federal LEAs through ruthless attacks and use of Mustard to injure and kill, increase pressure for a quick solution.
Life Threatening Event 3 – Fargo PD Detectives Jeff Peters and Jorge Robertson get video of the perpetrator’s escape from the uniformed officers. Using the video, they find a house where the perp may be located. When the detectives investigate with SWAT backup, they discover what appear to be improvised explosive devices protecting the property and back off for the explosive ordinance disposal (EOD) team.
Life Threatening Event 4 – Before the Fargo PD EOD team arrives, planes carrying the Critical Incident Response Group (CIRG) from the FBI and including members of DHS, ATF, US Marshall Service, and DoD investigators (includes members of Delta’s WMD squadron). This also brings Special Agent Jennifer Andrews part the FBI’s Hostage Rescue Team (HRT) advanced force who will prepare the ‘environment’ for the HRT squadron.
Mystery 3 – Why did the attackers use Mustard in their attacks? How did they manufacture Mustard?
Mystery 4 – How did the terrorists place the Mustard in containers camouflaged as power transformers?
Catalyst (10%)
Life Threatening Event 5 – The perp’s house in Fargo has IEDs which will spread Mustard over more than a city block and the EUDs are sophisticated with anti-tamper devices which make the task of the EOD teams extremely risky.
Mystery 5 – The perp’s house in Fargo is destroyed through explosives and seeded with Mustard but using Site Sensitive Exploitation (SSE) procedures developed by the DoD SOF, the HRT finds evidence of a ‘safe house’ in Sioux Falls, SD where the Mustard was manufactured. Included in this SSE are indications of a terrorist group made up of Native Americans, ISIS, and possibly other groups working to tear down the US government.
Reveal — The first Fargo safe house has indications of additional houses, apartments, and garages in Fargo, Bismarck, and Grand Rapids, ND. Therefore, this is a huge. complex operation requiring large funds and sophistication This must be the work of either a domestic or foreign terrorist group.
Villain’s Plan 3 – Further distraction through attacks on Bismarck and Grand Rapids.
Mystery 6 – With the collection of data on the attacks, the Bismarck and Grand Rapid attacks have no surveillance video showing a perp, only the Fargo attacks show a perp.
Debate (10% – 20%)
Life Threatening Event 6 – Frank Walters and Robert Williams receive direct pressure from the ND representatives and senators to find the terrorist group. They see Jennifer’s focus on a possible single perp as a threat and threaten dismissal or disgrace to Jennifer if she does not stop.
Villain’s Plan 4 – Start of the attacks on the Midwest power infrastructure to increase pressure.
Life Threatening Event 7 – Jennifer travels to Sioux Falls as part of the reconnaissance advanced team to place surveillance on the house with a focus on what the HRT will need to know for their assault. As part of the assault, she is slightly injured but two members are killed and five members are hospitalized.
Mystery 7 – Who is the Lakota, Everett Dixon, whose remains are found in the Sioux Falls safe house?
Mystery 8 – The SSE found in Sioux Falls leads the CIRG/JTTF to a same house in the Midwest.
Villain’s Plan 5 – The safe house in Sioux Falls includes a chemical lab in the basement and SCUBA diving air generators to fill and mix gases.
Reveal – There is a Sioux Falls, SD safe house location containing the Mustard powder manufacturing and some mixed gas facility. Discovery and surveillance show at least one individual in the house.
Reveal – Everett Dixon, a member of the Lakota tribe, owns the house and a SCUBA diving business including filling air tanks. Dixon is a former member of the US Army Special Forces as a weapons sergeant and is a current member of a native American protest group. The take down of the house does not go well for the HRT due to booby traps and IEDs which kill and injure several operators. Everett Dixon is ‘vaporized’ in an explosion as the HRT takes the house. Jennifer Andrews is among the injured.
Direction: Terrorist group successfully attacks inside the US.
Twist: This may be a single individual out for revenge, using the killing of hundreds and maiming thousands to mask his vengeance.
ACT II
Break into Act II (20%)
As Jeff and Jorge refine the Fargo homicide data, they find several deaths outside of the city of civilians who are not lawyers or judges. Why were they killed?
Reveal – After going through the hundreds of killed and thousands injured in Fargo, Jeff and Jorge discover a small number of civilians belong to the same extended family and most resided outside the primary Fargo attacks. M.I.S. – the attack across multiple cities is huge and uses WDM (Mustard powder) to expand the scope. Confusion and cover-up by the total number of people killed and injured. Letters delivered to media sites indicate a campaign against courts by Native Americans. Increasing political and media pressure to identify, arrest, or kill the terrorist group leaders. Multiple Native American leaders state there are no terrorist activity by any of the tribes.
Mystery 9 – The civilians killed are all part of the same family group Why were they killed?
Life Threatening Event 8 – Jeff and Jorge take their findings about the odd group of civilian deaths to the FBI Assistant Director in charge of the CIRG and the Joint Terrorist Task Force (JTTF), Frank Walters but Director Walters does not agree and still believes these are anomalies.
Life Threatening Event 9 – Jennifer hears about the anomalous civilian deaths, she seeks out Jeff and Jorge to find out more. When her HRT supervisory agent, Robert Williams, hears of this, he orders her to stop this line of inquiry and focus on developing the ‘battlespace’ for the HRT follow on forces. Jennifer does her job but also works with Jeff and Jorge including allowing access to multiple Federal databases.
Trust: Andrews is encouraged to present directly to the Assistant Director in charge of the investigation. Walters. He agrees that the evidence appears to indicate something different than a standard foreign or domestic terror group.
Distrust: Walters receives pressure from the US Senators and three Representatives from ND that he find the terrorist group.
Distrust: Williams places pressure on Andrews to put aside the singleton theory and put emphasizes her AFO duties.
Trust: Williams has known Andrews for years from being her commanding officer in the Army to encouraging her to apply to the FBI and then sponsoring her for selection into the FBI’s HRT, finally letting her create an Advanced Force Operations (AFO) cell within the HRT.
Distrust: Andrews presents the findings from the Fargo PD detectives, Williams seems to agree but when discourages Walters from agreeing.
Direction: Possible single perpetrator out for revenge.
Twist: The SSE recovered from the safe houses prove to the FBI, DHS, and ATF this is a larger terrorist group.
B story (22%)
Villain’s Plan 6 – The use of fake cell towers leased by ‘Midsouth Mobility, LLD’ which is owned through multiple shell companies that eventually lead to an account in Lichtenstein.
Villain’s Plan 7 – The use of stolen military weapons for the attacks using the cell towers.
Life Threatening Event 10 – Prior to the assault on the Sioux Falls house, attacks begin on the power infrastructure in the Midwest by using cell towers with high powered military weapons, 50 caliber machine-guns, 81mm Mortars, and recoilless rifles. These take out the critical substations with very high and extremely high power transformers.
Direction: Military weapons indicate a sophisticated terrorist group.
Twist: Retrieved serial numbers from sites show all weapons were from DoD Armory robberies but more than ten years ago.
Reveal – The fake cell towers used in the power system infrastructure attacks were leasing land paid for by Midsouth Mobility, LLC. This company is a shell within a shell but eventually FBI accountants trace funds back to banks in Lichtenstein. The FBI and Interpol go after the funding in these accounts.
Reveal – The weapons used in the infrastructure attacks were stolen from US military armories but the thefts were more than 10 years ago and were ‘commando-like’ raids.
Mystery 10 – The civilians killed were members of a jury pool more than 15 years ago. Why were they killed? Does this have to do with a trial more than 15 years ago?
Reveal – Fourteen civilians killed in the Fargo attacks had been part of a jury more than 15 years ago. The number killed in the attack slows down the discovery process.The trial was for Grace Miller who died 15 years ago. The extended family killed were related to Grace and won a verdict against her. Grace’s husband, Scott, is still alive but is 71 years old working as a computer network security engineer. One of her daughters is a US Army CID warrant officer. Her son is a US Army Special Forces engineering sergeant who would be an expert with explosives including IEDs.
Direction: FBI Assistant Director in charge of the investigation sees merit in the revenge motive.
Twist: The increased scope and scale of the attacks make a singleton perpetrator impossible.
Trust: Andrews out of the hospital, brings further evidence to Walters that the perpetrator must have extensive US military and special operations experience
Fun and Games (20% – 50%)
Villain’s Plan 8 – The use of cloud, advanced automation techniques, and artificial intelligence to pace the attacks as well as surveil the locations. The use of AI allows only necessary surveillance to alert Scott.
Mystery 11 – How can the terrorist strike dozens of power sites simultaneously?
Life Threatening Event 11 – Jennifer is sent to examine a ‘false’ cell phone tower with a small team of HRT operatives. When they arrive, they are under surveillance and when they arrive, the team and their vehicles are taken under fire by a 50 caliber machine-gun.
Mystery 12 – Do all of the false cell towers have terrorist surveillance?
Reveal – Scott is an engineer and expert in cloud computing, security, advanced encryption techniques, automation, and artificial intelligence. He has multiple patents and copyrights.
Life Threatening Event 12 – Jeff and Jorge bring more evidence to Jennifer that the attack on ND is simple revenge and not a more sophisticated terrorist group. Convinced, she goes directly to Frank Walters who listens but the pressure from executive and legislature branches who need these escalating attacks to be part of ISIS and not a single man bent on revenge. He threatens her with immediate dismissal and being black listing to prevent her from ever working in law enforcement.
Trust: Andrews believes the evidence and information the Fargo PD detectives have gathered.
Direction: Federal law enforcement focuses on identifying the terrorist group through SSE and taking down the identified safe houses.
Twist: The body parts recovered of Dixon in Sioux Falls have ice crystals, he had been frozen before the HRT took down the house and the IED nearly vaporized him.
Mystery 13 – Who is Scott Miller?
Reveal – Scott worked as a reserve Police Officer and Deputy Sheriff for about 15 years.
Villain’s Plan 9 – Scott uses general aviation assets through multiple IDs for untracked movement around the country. He hires an actor ‘look alike’ for the ND attack timeframe. He kills the actor to remove the link.
Mystery 14 – Scott Miller has an alibi for the time of the attack in ND, he is working in Atlanta.
Midpoint (50%)
Life Threatening Event 13 – Jeff, Jorge, and Jennifer begin investigating Scott Miller but other than a generic US Army record in SOF and retirement as a CW4, they have very few details. They do find that he is a highly successful computer network engineer over the last 20 years. As they dig, Jorge is killed with Jeff and Jennifer both wounded – but Scott has an alibi for the time of their attack.
Reveal – Scott retired from the US Army after 30 years as a Special Operations warrant officer with more than 20 years in Special Mission Units. Their daughter and son both are overseas during the Fargo attacks. Scott was working in Atlanta and stayed there the weekend of the attacks. Scott’s personnel file has more redacted portions than open.
Direction: The search by Jeff, Jorge, and Jennifer has been dangerous but impersonal.
Twist: They are under surveillance and considered a threat by the perp.
Villain’s Plan 10 – Scott created the initial war chest through attacks on drug houses in the Southeast region. He identified the houses through his county Deputy Sheriff’s access.
Villain’s Plan 11 – Scott increases the war chest by attacks on armored cars carrying diamonds and large amounts of cash from gambling.
Mystery 15 – If Scott Miller is the perp, how has he gotten the funding and weapons for an operation of this scope?
Mystery 16 – Could this all have been planned and put into place over the last 15 years without anyone realizing it?.
Bad Guys Close In (50% – 70%)
Distrust: Walters has Andrews suspended for failure to follow orders and insubordination.
Life Threatening Event 14 – Jennifer is placed on suspension while in the hospital. She takes her findings to the DoD and Delta operatives on the CIDG/JTTF.
Mystery 17 – DoD agents find Scott’s ‘201 file’ heavily redacted and of not much more use than what Jennifer has already discovered.
Mystery 18 – The Delta operatives discover more since Scott had been in 1st SFOD-D for 12 years before going to the Intelligence Support Activity (ISA) for another 10 years.
Reveal — The Delta operatives reach out to the ISA to get ‘read on’ to projects and activities. The query reaches up the ranks until the commanders of the units talking.
All is Lost (75%)
Trust: Andrews is encouraged to present directly to the Assistant Director in charge of the investigation. Walters. He agrees that the evidence appears to indicate something different than a standard foreign or domestic terror group.
Distrust: Walters receives pressure from the US Senators and three Representatives from ND that he find the terrorist group.
Distrust: Williams places pressure on Andrews to put aside the singleton theory and get back to her AFO duties.
Distrust: Williams and Walters under political pressure to find a foreign terrorist group which the US can attack, work to disgrace Andrews within the FBI.
Life Threatening Event 15 – Frank Walters finds out that Jennifer has given the DoD and SOF operatives sensitive FBI information, he lets her know that her career at the FBI is now at an end.
Villain’s Plan 12 – Increase the number of attacks and pressure on law enforcement agencies.
Mystery 19 – With Scott under surveillance, the attacks in the Midwest, South, and Southeast continue and even increase in their pace and scope. More than a quarter of the nation is having brown outs or even black outs. More than 100 courthouses have been blown up to the point of being razed. How can Scott continue doing this with the level of surveillance on him?
Villain’s Plan 13 – Distraction by getting the FBI and DHS focus on other safe houses he’s allowed them to discover.
Mystery 20 – The other safe houses discovered have a mixture of Native Americans, Arabs, Black, and Hispanics with indications of their complicity in the terrorist attacks.
Direction: Discovery of the terrorist network of safe houses.
Twist: The body parts recovered have ice crystals like Dixon. All were frozen before the explosive dismemberment.
Mystery 21 – Even as the safe houses are rolled up, the attacks on the infrastructure continue and even increase.
Dark Night of the Soul (75% – 80%)
Mystery 22 – The commanders of Delta and the Activity place the full resources of multiple teams on Scott to figure out if he is the perp of the worst terrorist attack in US history. Scott was a plank owner for the AFO G Squadron and an expert in singleton intelligence operations which he perfected at the Activity. If he is the perp, they will have him killed.
Life Threatening Event 16 – Jennifer is confronted by operators from Delta’s F Squadron warning her off, hinting that they will take care of their own.
Life Threatening Event 17 – When Jennifer does not drop it, she is abducted a block from Scott’s home, taken to an unknown location with a black hood over her head and hands cuffed behind her back.
ACT III
Break into Act III (80%)
Mystery 23 – Does the DoD or Delta have evidence that Scott is the perp?
Life Threatening Event 18 – Released, Jennifer manages to get through surveillance to confront Scott at his home and question him.
Finale (80% – 99%)
Life Threatening Event 19 – Jennifer is picked back up when she leaves Scott’s house. Rather than threatening her, a DIA operative offers her an opportunity to switch from the FBI over to either the DIA or NSA with an increase in pay grade.
Mystery 24 – While Scott appears to be safe, he prepares to leave for South America. Why does he leave and why are the attacks continuing?
Villain’s Plan 184- Finish and escape to live another day.
Mystery 25 – Scott leaves for Brazil.
Final Image (99% – 100%)
Scott is assassinated in Ireland (or Sao Paulo, Brazil?) by an IC contractor who once worked for Scott at the Intelligence Support Activity while Jennifer watches from a concealed position.
Direction: Jennifer has dedicated 10 years to the FBI and plans on it as a career.
Twist: She resigns from the FBI, hired at the DIA then volunteers for the Activity.
3. Tell us about the reveals you built into your Thriller Map.
(a) Act l becomes much more about the terrorist attack with reveals to lead Jennifer et all away from the Villain’s plan. </div>
(b) Use the political and media pressure to force the reveals on the infrastructure.
(c) Moved the discovery of the family connection and jury to Act ll.
(d) Still need work on the FBI accounting and ‘following the money’ and were it leads.
(e) Reveals for Scott need to wait until Act lll.
The story arc becomes more of a standard ‘crime story’. -
Subject line: (Your name’s) Trust Relationships
What I learned doing this assignment is…?”
The more I work on this, the more I realize how much more work remains. While I understand about the deadlines, when the course is finished, I will need more time than given during course to work on improving the map. Looking at the overall structure, I’ll need to place a greater focus on developing Act ll.
Create trust / distrust relationships between your characters and add them to your Thriller Map.
1. Make a list of the main characters.
Hero: Jennifer Andrews
Villain: Scott Miller
Red Herring Character: Everett Dixon
Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Frank Walters & Robert Williams
Isn’t trusted, but should be:2. With each character, ask these questions:
What is their basic state — trustable or not trustable? <div>
Jennifer – Trustable
Scott – Not trustable
Frank Walters – Not trustable
Robert Williams – Not trustable
Jorge Robertson – Trustable
Jeff Peters – Trustable
James Simmons – Trustable
How might they really be trustable, but appear not trustable OR be not trustable, but appear trustable?
Frank Walters – appears trustable but is driven by pressure to find a group
Robert Williams – appears trustable – sponsored and mentored her at the HRT but backstabs her with Walters
James Simmons – appears not trustable as Fargo PD Chief but when presented the evidence, completely backs his detectives and allows them extraordinary leeway.
What circumstances might cause them to switch from one to the other?
Political pressure
True belief that one man could not possible continue the scope and frequency of attacks.3. With each character relationship, brainstorm how trust or distrust might show up between them.
Hero / Villain: Jennifer comes to distrust all of the presented evidence of a large terrorist group. She believes that Scott is doing his best to present a false front to lead the Federal LEAs away from him. </div><div>
Hero / Red Herring Character: Wounded during the Sioux Falls safe house take down, Jennifer does not believe the story of a Lakota as part of the terrorist attacks but has no evidence.
Hero / Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Jennifer trusts her mentor Robert Williams who listened to the her (and Jorge & Jeff’s) presentation and evidence, seems to agree but then argues a larger terrorist group to Walters.
Hero / Isn’t trusted, but should be:
4. Create a sequence for each trust/distrust relationship (like I did with Three Days of The Condor) and then add that to your map.
Andrews/Williams
Trust: Williams has known Andrews for years from being her commanding officer in the Army to encouraging her to apply to the FBI and then sponsoring her for selection into the FBI’s HRT, finally letting her create an Advanced Force Operations (AFO) cell within the HRT. </div><div>
Distrust: Andrews presents the findings from the Fargo PD detectives, Williams seems to agree but when discourages Walters from agreeing.
Distrust: Williams places pressure on Andrews to put aside the singleton theory and put emphasizes her AFO duties.Trust: Williams visits her and the other HRT operatives in the Sioux Falls hospital where she presents her theory that the safe house was used to decoy the investigation. Williams again agrees with her and states he’ll look into it.
Distrust: Williams folds under political pressure and threatens her suspension.
Andrews/Walters
Trust: Andrews is encouraged to present directly to the Assistant Director in charge of the investigation. Walters. He agrees that the evidence appears to indicate something different than a standard foreign or domestic terror group. </div><div>
Distrust: Walters receives pressure from the US Senators and three Representatives from ND that he find the terrorist group.
Trust: Andrews out of the hospital, brings further evidence to Walters that the perpetrator must have extensive US military and special operations experience.
Distrust: Walters has Andrews suspended for failure to follow orders and insubordination.
5. Give us the new version of your Thriller Map.
ACT I
Opening Image (0% – 1%)
Life Threatening Event 1 – Three police cars have a suspect trapped inside the house of a judge. The suspect fires on the cars disabling all of them. As the police get ready to breach the house, the Fargo courthouse explodes along with several business in downtown Fargo, ND.
Mystery 1 – Who is the person shooting the police?
Mystery 2 – Why have the buildings exploded?
Villain’s Plan 1 – The real reason for the attacks in ND and the killing of lawyers is more complicated.
Setup (1% – 10%)
Villain’s Plan 2 – Make the ND attacks the worse terrorist event in US history to have multiple Federal and State law enforcement agencies interact.
Life Threatening Event 2 – The courthouse and many other buildings are contaminated with Mustard gas/powder. In addition, the power structure for the city has been taken down with the substations contaminated with Mustard. This has resulted in hundreds of injuries of first responders and power company workers.
Villain’s Plan 2 – Distraction of the Federal LEAs through ruthless attacks and use of Mustard to injure and kill, increase pressure for a quick solution.
Life Threatening Event 3 – Fargo PD Detectives Jeff Peters and Jorge Robertson get video of the perpetrator’s escape from the uniformed officers. Using the video, they find a house where the perp may be located. When the detectives investigate with SWAT backup, they discover what appear to be improvised explosive devices protecting the property and back off for the explosive ordinance disposal (EOD) team.
Life Threatening Event 4 – Before the Fargo PD EOD team arrives, planes carrying the Critical Incident Response Group (CIRG) from the FBI and including members of DHS, ATF, US Marshall Service, and DoD investigators (includes members of Delta’s WMD squadron). This also brings Special Agent Jennifer Andrews part the FBI’s Hostage Rescue Team (HRT) advanced force who will prepare the ‘environment’ for the HRT squadron.
Mystery 3 – Why did the attackers use Mustard in their attacks? How did they manufacture Mustard?
Mystery 4 – How did the terrorists place the Mustard in containers camouflaged as power transformers?
Catalyst (10%)
Life Threatening Event 5 – The perp’s house in Fargo has IEDs which will spread Mustard over more than a city block and the EUDs are sophisticated with anti-tamper devices which make the task of the EOD teams extremely risky.
Villain’s Plan 3 – Further distraction through attacks on Bismarck and Grand Rapids.
Mystery 5 – With the collection of data on the attacks, the Bismarck and Grand Rapid attacks have no surveillance video showing a perp, only the Fargo attacks show a perp. As Jeff and Jorge refine the Fargo homicide data, they find several deaths outside of the city of civilians who are not lawyers or judges. Why were they killed?
Debate (10% – 20%)
Life Threatening Event 6 – Jeff and Jorge take their findings about the odd group of civilian deaths to the FBI Assistant Director in charge of the CIRG and the Joint Terrorist Task Force (JTTF), Frank Walters but Director Walters does not agree and still believes these are anomalies.
Life Threatening Event 7 – Jennifer hears about the anomalous civilian deaths, she seeks out Jeff and Jorge to find out more. When her HRT supervisory agent, Robert Williams, hears of this, he orders her to stop this line of inquiry and focus on developing the ‘battlespace’ for the HRT follow on forces. Jennifer does her job but also works with Jeff and Jorge including allowing access to multiple Federal databases.
Trust: Williams has known Andrews for years from being her commanding officer in the Army to encouraging her to apply to the FBI and then sponsoring her for selection into the FBI’s HRT, finally letting her create an Advanced Force Operations (AFO) cell within the HRT.
Distrust: Andrews presents the findings from the Fargo PD detectives, Williams seems to agree but when discourages Walters from agreeing.
Villain’s Plan 4 – Start of the attacks on the Midwest power infrastructure to increase pressure.
Direction: Terrorist group successfully attacks inside the US.
Twist: This may be a single individual out for revenge, using the killing of hundreds and maiming thousands to mask his vengeance.
Mystery 6 – The civilians killed are all part of the same family group or were members of a jury pool more than 15 years ago. Why were they killed? Does this have to do with a trial more than 15 years ago?
Trust: Andrews is encouraged to present directly to the Assistant Director in charge of the investigation. Walters. He agrees that the evidence appears to indicate something different than a standard foreign or domestic terror group.
Distrust: Walters receives pressure from the US Senators and three Representatives from ND that he find the terrorist group.
Distrust: Williams places pressure on Andrews to put aside the singleton theory and put emphasizes her AFO duties.
ACT II
Break into Act II (20%)
Life Threatening Event 8 – Frank Walters and Robert Williams receive direct pressure from the ND representatives and senators to find the terrorist group. They see Jennifer’s focus on a possible single perp as a threat and threaten dismissal or disgrace to Jennifer if she does not stop.
Villain’s Plan 5 – The safe house in Sioux Falls includes a chemical lab in the basement and SCUBA diving air generators to fill and mix gases.
Mystery 7 – The perp’s house in Fargo is destroyed through explosives and seeded with Mustard but using Site Sensitive Exploitation (SSE) procedures developed by the DoD SOF, the HRT finds evidence of a ‘safe house’ in Sioux Falls, SD where the Mustard was manufactured. Included in this SSE are indications of a terrorist group made up of Native Americans, ISIS, and possibly other groups working to tear down the US government.
Direction: Possible single perpetrator out for revenge.
Twist: The SSE recovered from the safe house proves to the FBI, DHS, and ATF this is a larger terrorist group.
B story (22%)
Life Threatening Event 9 – Jennifer travels to Sioux Falls as part of the reconnaissance advanced team to place surveillance on the house with a focus on what the HRT will need to know for their assault. As part of the assault, she is slightly injured but two members are killed and five members are hospitalized.
Trust: Williams visits her and the other HRT operatives in the Sioux Falls hospital where she presents her theory that the safe house was used to decoy the investigation. Williams again agrees with her and states he’ll look into it.
Mystery 8 – Who is the Lakota, Everett Dixon, whose remains are found in the Sioux Falls safe house?
Mystery 9 – The SSE found in Sioux Falls leads the CIRG/JTTF to a same house in the Midwest.
Villain’s Plan 6 – The use of fake cell towers leased by ‘Acme Mobile Access, LLD’ which is owned through multiple shell companies that eventually lead to an account in Lichtenstein.
Villain’s Plan 7 – The use of stolen military weapons for the attacks using the cell towers.
Direction: Military weapons indicate a sophisticated terrorist group.
Twist: Retrieved serial numbers from sites show all weapons were from DoD Armory robberies but more than five years ago.
Life Threatening Event 10 – Prior to the assault on the Sioux Falls house, attacks begin on the power infrastructure in the Midwest by using cell towers with high powered military weapons, 50 caliber machine-guns, 81mm Mortars, and recoilless rifles. These take out the critical substations with very high and extremely high power transformers.
Direction: FBI Assistant Director in charge of the investigation sees merit in the revenge motive.
Twist: The increased scope and scale of the attacks make a singleton perpetrator impossible.
Trust: Andrews out of the hospital, brings further evidence to Walters that the perpetrator must have extensive US military and special operations experience
Villain’s Plan 8 – The use of cloud, advanced automation techniques, and artificial intelligence to pace the attacks as well as surveil the locations. The use of AI allows only necessary surveillance to alert Scott.
Mystery 10 – How can the terrorist strike dozens of power sites simultaneously?
Life Threatening Event 11 – Jennifer is sent to examine a ‘false’ cell phone tower with a small team of HRT operatives. When they arrive, they are under surveillance and when they arrive, the team and their vehicles are taken under fire by a 50 caliber machine-gun.
Mystery 11 – Do all of the false cell towers have terrorist surveillance?
Fun and Games (20% – 50%)
Life Threatening Event 12 – Jeff and Jorge bring more evidence to Jennifer that the attack on ND is simple revenge and not a more sophisticated terrorist group. Convinced, she goes directly to Frank Walters who listens but the pressure from executive and legislature branches who need these escalating attacks to be part of ISIS and not a single man bent on revenge. He threatens her with immediate dismissal and being black listing to prevent her from ever working in law enforcement.
Trust: Andrews believes the evidence and information the Fargo PD detectives have gathered.
Direction: Federal law enforcement focuses on identifying the terrorist group through SSE and taking down the identified safe houses.
Twist: The body parts recovered of Dixon in Sioux Falls have ice crystals, he had been frozen before the HRT took down the house and the IED nearly vaporized him.
Mystery 12 – Who is Scott Miller?
Villain’s Plan 9 – Scott uses general aviation assets through multiple IDs for untracked movement around the country. He hires an actor ‘look alike’ for the ND attack timeframe. He kills the actor to remove the link.
Mystery 13 – Scott Miller has an alibi for the time of the attack in ND, he is working in Atlanta.
Midpoint (50%)
Life Threatening Event 13 – Jeff, Jorge, and Jennifer begin investigating Scott Miller but other than a generic US Army record in SOF and retirement as a CW4, they have very few details. They do find that he is a highly successful computer network engineer over the last 20 years. As they dig, Jorge is killed with Jeff and Jennifer both wounded – but Scott has an alibi for the time of their attack.
Direction: The search by Jeff, Jorge, and Jennifer has been dangerous but impersonal.
Twist: They are under surveillance and considered a threat by the perp.
Villain’s Plan 10 – Scott created the initial war chest through attacks on drug houses in the Southeast region. He identified the houses through his county Deputy Sheriff’s access.
Villain’s Plan 11 – Scott increases the war chest by attacks on armored cars carrying diamonds and large amounts of cash from gambling.
Mystery 14 – If Scott Miller is the perp, how has he gotten the funding and weapons for an operation of this scope?
Mystery 15 – Could this all have been planned and put into place over the last 15 years without anyone realizing it?.
Bad Guys Close In (50% – 70%)
Distrust: Walters has Andrews suspended for failure to follow orders and insubordination.
Life Threatening Event 14 – Jennifer is placed on suspension while in the hospital. She takes her findings to the DoD and Delta operatives on the CIDG/JTTF.
Mystery 15 – DoD agents find Scott’s ‘201 file’ heavily redacted and of not much more use than what Jennifer has already discovered.
Mystery 16 – The Delta operatives discover more since Scott had been in 1st SFOD-D for 12 years before going to the Intelligence Support Activity (ISA) for another 10 years. They reach out to the ISA to see if they can be ‘read on’ to some of the projects and activities. The query reaches up the ranks to the commanders of the units talking.
All is Lost (75%)
Distrust: Williams and Walters under political pressure to find a foreign terrorist group which the US can attack, work to disgrace Andrews within the FBI.
Life Threatening Event 15 – Frank Walters finds out that Jennifer has given the DoD and SOF operatives sensitive FBI information, he lets her know that her career at the FBI is now at an end.
Villain’s Plan 16 – Increase the number of attacks and pressure on law enforcement agencies.
Mystery 17 – With Scott under surveillance, the attacks in the Midwest, South, and Southeast continue and even increase in their pace and scope. More than a quarter of the nation is having brown outs or even black outs. More than 100 courthouses have been blown up to the point of being razed. How can Scott continue doing this with the level of surveillance on him?
Villain’s Plan 17 – Distraction by getting the FBI and DHS focus on other safe houses he’s allowed them to discover.
Mystery 18 – The other safe houses discovered have a mixture of Native Americans, Arabs, Black, and Hispanics with indications of their complicity in the terrorist attacks.
Direction: Discovery of the terrorist network of safe houses.
Twist: The body parts recovered have ice crystals like Dixon. All were frozen before the explosive dismemberment.
Mystery 19 – Even as the safe houses are rolled up, the attacks on the infrastructure continue.
Dark Night of the Soul (75% – 80%)
Mystery 20 – The commanders of Delta and the Activity place the full resources of multiple teams on Scott to figure out if he is the perp of the worst terrorist attack in US history. Scott was a plank owner for the AFO G Squadron and an expert in singleton intelligence operations which he perfected at the Activity. If he is the perp, they will have him killed.
Life Threatening Event 20 – Jennifer is confronted by operators from Delta’s F Squadron warning her off, hinting that they will take care of their own.
Life Threatening Event 21 – When Jennifer does not drop it, she is abducted a block from Scott’s home, taken to an unknown location with a black hood over her head and hands cuffed behind her back.
ACT III
Break into Act III (80%)
Mystery 21 – Does the DoD or Delta have evidence that Scott is the perp?
Life Threatening Event 22 – Released, Jennifer manages to get through surveillance to confront Scott at his home and question him.
Finale (80% – 99%)
Life Threatening Event 23 – Jennifer is picked back up when she leaves Scott’s house. Rather than threatening her, a DIA operative offers her an opportunity to switch from the FBI over to either the DIA or NSA with an increase in pay grade.
Mystery 22 – While Scott appears to be safe, he prepares to leave for South America. Why does he leave and why are the attacks continuing?
Villain’s Plan 18 – Finish and escape to live another day.
Mystery 23 – Scott leaves for Brazil.
Final Image (99% – 100%)
Scott is assassinated in Ireland (or Sao Paulo, Brazil?) by an IC contractor who once worked for Scott at the Intelligence Support Activity while Jennifer watches from a concealed position.
Direction: Jennifer has dedicated 10 years to the FBI and plans on it as a career.
Twist: She resigns from the FBI, hired at the DIA then volunteers for the Activity.
</div>
-
Subject line: Jim Thompson’s Twists and Turns
What I learned doing this assignment is…?”
I probably need to re-work the story structure by going deeper into Act ll and lll to build more twists, as well as MIS. Once I have those done, I can go back to work on Act l. With the timeline for the class, I won’t have the time this month or for this class. A lot more re-write and restructuring.
Build Twists throughout your story.
1. Tell us the places you added twists.
ACT I
Opening Image (0% – 1%)
Setup (1% – 10%)
Catalyst (10%)
Direction: Terrorist group successfully attacks inside the US.
Twist: This may be a single individual out for revenge, using the killing of hundreds and maiming thousands to mask his vengeance.
Debate (10% – 20%)
ACT II
Break into Act II (20%)
Direction: Possible single perpetrator out for revenge.
Twist: The SSE recovered from the safe house proves to the FBI, DHS, and ATF this is a larger terrorist group.
B story (22%)
Direction: Military weapons indicate a sophisticated terrorist group.
Twist: Retrieved serial numbers from sites show all weapons were from DoD Armory robberies but more than five years ago.
Direction: FBI Assistant Director in charge of the investigation sees merit in the revenge motive.
Twist: The increased scope and scale of the attacks make a singleton perpetrator impossible.
Fun and Games (20% – 50%)
Direction: Federal law enforcement focuses on identifying the terrorist group through SSE and taking down the identified safe houses.
Twist: The body parts recovered of Dixon in Sioux Falls have ice crystals, he had been frozen before the HRT took down the house and the IED nearly vaporized him.
Midpoint (50%)
Direction: The search by Jeff, Jorge, and Jennifer has been dangerous but impersonal.
Twist: They are under surveillance and considered a threat by the perp.
Bad Guys Close In (50% – 70%)
All is Lost (75%)
Direction: Discovery of the terrorist network of safe houses.
Twist: The body parts recovered have ice crystals like Dixon. All were frozen before the explosive dismemberment.
Dark Night of the Soul (75% – 80%)
ACT III
Break into Act III (80%)
Finale (80% – 99%)
Final Image (99% – 100%)
Direction: Jennifer has dedicated 10 years to the FBI and plans on it as a career.
Twist: She resigns from the FBI, hired at the DIA then volunteers for the Activity.
2. Include the new version of your Thriller Map.
ACT I
Opening Image (0% – 1%)
Life Threatening Event 1 – Three police cars have a suspect trapped inside the house of a judge. The suspect fires on the cars disabling all of them. As the police get ready to breach the house, the Fargo courthouse explodes along with several business in downtown Fargo, ND.
Mystery 1 – Who is the person shooting the police?
Mystery 2 – Why have the buildings exploded?
Villain’s Plan 1 – The real reason for the attacks in ND and the killing of lawyers is more complicated.
Setup (1% – 10%)
Villain’s Plan 2 – Make the ND attacks the worse terrorist event in US history to have multiple Federal and State law enforcement agencies interact.
Life Threatening Event 2 – The courthouse and many other buildings are contaminated with Mustard gas/powder. In addition, the power structure for the city has been taken down with the substations contaminated with Mustard. This has resulted in hundreds of injuries of first responders and power company workers.
Villain’s Plan 2 – Distraction of the Federal LEAs through ruthless attacks and use of Mustard to injure and kill, increase pressure for a quick solution.
Life Threatening Event 3 – Fargo PD Detectives Jeff Peters and Jorge Robertson get video of the perpetrator’s escape from the uniformed officers. Using the video, they find a house where the perp may be located. When the detectives investigate with SWAT backup, they discover what appear to be improvised explosive devices protecting the property and back off for the explosive ordinance disposal (EOD) team.
Life Threatening Event 4 – Before the Fargo PD EOD team arrives, planes carrying the Critical Incident Response Group (CIRG) from the FBI and including members of DHS, ATF, US Marshall Service, and DoD investigators (includes members of Delta’s WMD squadron). This also brings Special Agent Jennifer Andrews part the FBI’s Hostage Rescue Team (HRT) advanced force who will prepare the ‘environment’ for the HRT squadron.
Mystery 3 – Why did the attackers use Mustard in their attacks? How did they manufacture Mustard?
Mystery 4 – How did the terrorists place the Mustard in containers camouflaged as power transformers?
Catalyst (10%)
Life Threatening Event 5 – The perp’s house in Fargo has IEDs which will spread Mustard over more than a city block and the EUDs are sophisticated with anti-tamper devices which make the task of the EOD teams extremely risky.
Villain’s Plan 3 – Further distraction through attacks on Bismarck and Grand Rapids.
Mystery 5 – With the collection of data on the attacks, the Bismarck and Grand Rapid attacks have no surveillance video showing a perp, only the Fargo attacks show a perp. As Jeff and Jorge refine the Fargo homicide data, they find several deaths outside of the city of civilians who are not lawyers or judges. Why were they killed?
Debate (10% – 20%)
Life Threatening Event 6 – Jeff and Jorge take their findings about the odd group of civilian deaths to the FBI Assistant Director in charge of the CIRG and the Joint Terrorist Task Force (JTTF), Frank Walters but Director Walters does not agree and still believes these are anomalies.
Life Threatening Event 7 – Jennifer hears about the anomalous civilian deaths, she seeks out Jeff and Jorge to find out more. When her HRT supervisory agent, Robert Williams, hears of this, he orders her to stop this line of inquiry and focus on developing the ‘battlespace’ for the HRT follow on forces. Jennifer does her job but also works with Jeff and Jorge including allowing access to multiple Federal databases.
Villain’s Plan 4 – Start of the attacks on the Midwest power infrastructure to increase pressure.
Direction: Terrorist group successfully attacks inside the US.
Twist: This may be a single individual out for revenge, using the killing of hundreds and maiming thousands to mask his vengeance.
Mystery 6 – The civilians killed are all part of the same family group or were members of a jury pool more than 15 years ago. Why were they killed? Does this have to do with a trial more than 15 years ago?
ACT II
Break into Act II (20%)
Life Threatening Event 8 – Frank Walters and Robert Williams receive direct pressure from the ND representatives and senators to find the terrorist group. They see Jennifer’s focus on a possible single perp as a threat and threaten dismissal or disgrace to Jennifer if she does not stop.
Villain’s Plan 5 – The safe house in Sioux Falls includes a chemical lab in the basement and SCUBA diving air generators to fill and mix gases.
Mystery 7 – The perp’s house in Fargo is destroyed through explosives and seeded with Mustard but using Site Sensitive Exploitation (SSE) procedures developed by the DoD SOF, the HRT finds evidence of a ‘safe house’ in Sioux Falls, SD where the Mustard was manufactured. Included in this SSE are indications of a terrorist group made up of Native Americans, ISIS, and possibly other groups working to tear down the US government.
Direction: Possible single perpetrator out for revenge.
Twist: The SSE recovered from the safe house proves to the FBI, DHS, and ATF this is a larger terrorist group.
B story (22%)
Life Threatening Event 9 – Jennifer travels to Sioux Falls as part of the reconnaissance advanced team to place surveillance on the house with a focus on what the HRT will need to know for their assault. As part of the assault, she is slightly injured but two members are killed and five members are hospitalized.
Mystery 8 – Who is the Lakota, Everett Dixon, whose remains are found in the Sioux Falls safe house?
Mystery 9 – The SSE found in Sioux Falls leads the CIRG/JTTF to a same house in the Midwest.
Villain’s Plan 6 – The use of fake cell towers leased by ‘Acme Mobile Access, LLD’ which is owned through multiple shell companies that eventually lead to an account in Lichtenstein.
Villain’s Plan 7 – The use of stolen military weapons for the attacks using the cell towers.
Direction: Military weapons indicate a sophisticated terrorist group.
Twist: Retrieved serial numbers from sites show all weapons were from DoD Armory robberies but more than five years ago.
Life Threatening Event 10 – Prior to the assault on the Sioux Falls house, attacks begin on the power infrastructure in the Midwest by using cell towers with high powered military weapons, 50 caliber machine-guns, 81mm Mortars, and recoilless rifles. These take out the critical substations with very high and extremely high power transformers.
Direction: FBI Assistant Director in charge of the investigation sees merit in the revenge motive.
Twist: The increased scope and scale of the attacks make a singleton perpetrator impossible.
Villain’s Plan 8 – The use of cloud, advanced automation techniques, and artificial intelligence to pace the attacks as well as surveil the locations. The use of AI allows only necessary surveillance to alert Scott.
Mystery 10 – How can the terrorist strike dozens of power sites simultaneously?
Life Threatening Event 11 – Jennifer is sent to examine a ‘false’ cell phone tower with a small team of HRT operatives. When they arrive, they are under surveillance and when they arrive, the team and their vehicles are taken under fire by a 50 caliber machine-gun.
Mystery 11 – Do all of the false cell towers have terrorist surveillance?
Fun and Games (20% – 50%)
Life Threatening Event 12 – Jeff and Jorge bring more evidence to Jennifer that the attack on ND is simple revenge and not a more sophisticated terrorist group. Convinced, she goes directly to Frank Walters who listens but the pressure from executive and legislature branches who need these escalating attacks to be part of ISIS and not a single man bent on revenge. He threatens her with immediate dismissal and being black listing to prevent her from ever working in law enforcement.
Direction: Federal law enforcement focuses on identifying the terrorist group through SSE and taking down the identified safe houses.
Twist: The body parts recovered of Dixon in Sioux Falls have ice crystals, he had been frozen before the HRT took down the house and the IED nearly vaporized him.
Mystery 12 – Who is Scott Miller?
Villain’s Plan 9 – Scott uses general aviation assets through multiple IDs for untracked movement around the country. He hires an actor ‘look alike’ for the ND attack timeframe. He kills the actor to remove the link.
Mystery 13 – Scott Miller has an alibi for the time of the attack in ND, he is working in Atlanta.
Midpoint (50%)
Life Threatening Event 13 – Jeff, Jorge, and Jennifer begin investigating Scott Miller but other than a generic US Army record in SOF and retirement as a CW4, they have very few details. They do find that he is a highly successful computer network engineer over the last 20 years. As they dig, Jorge is killed with Jeff and Jennifer both wounded – but Scott has an alibi for the time of their attack.
Direction: The search by Jeff, Jorge, and Jennifer has been dangerous but impersonal.
Twist: They are under surveillance and considered a threat by the perp.
Villain’s Plan 10 – Scott created the initial war chest through attacks on drug houses in the Southeast region. He identified the houses through his county Deputy Sheriff’s access.
Villain’s Plan 11 – Scott increases the war chest by attacks on armored cars carrying diamonds and large amounts of cash from gambling.
Mystery 14 – If Scott Miller is the perp, how has he gotten the funding and weapons for an operation of this scope?
Mystery 15 – Could this all have been planned and put into place over the last 15 years without anyone realizing it?.
Bad Guys Close In (50% – 70%)
Life Threatening Event 14 – Jennifer is placed on suspension while in the hospital. She takes her findings to the DoD and Delta operatives on the CIDG/JTTF.
Mystery 15 – DoD agents find Scott’s ‘201 file’ heavily redacted and of not much more use than what Jennifer has already discovered.
Mystery 16 – The Delta operatives discover more since Scott had been in 1st SFOD-D for 12 years before going to the Intelligence Support Activity (ISA) for another 10 years. They reach out to the ISA to see if they can be ‘read on’ to some of the projects and activities. The query reaches up the ranks to the commanders of the units talking.
All is Lost (75%)
Life Threatening Event 15 – Frank Walters finds out that Jennifer has given the DoD and SOF operatives sensitive FBI information, he lets her know that her career at the FBI is now at an end.
Villain’s Plan 16 – Increase the number of attacks and pressure on law enforcement agencies.
Mystery 17 – With Scott under surveillance, the attacks in the Midwest, South, and Southeast continue and even increase in their pace and scope. More than a quarter of the nation is having brown outs or even black outs. More than 100 courthouses have been blown up to the point of being razed. How can Scott continue doing this with the level of surveillance on him?
Villain’s Plan 17 – Distraction by getting the FBI and DHS focus on other safe houses he’s allowed them to discover.
Mystery 18 – The other safe houses discovered have a mixture of Native Americans, Arabs, Black, and Hispanics with indications of their complicity in the terrorist attacks.
Direction: Discovery of the terrorist network of safe houses.
Twist: The body parts recovered have ice crystals like Dixon. All were frozen before the explosive dismemberment.
Mystery 19 – Even as the safe houses are rolled up, the attacks on the infrastructure continue.
Dark Night of the Soul (75% – 80%)
Mystery 20 – The commanders of Delta and the Activity place the full resources of multiple teams on Scott to figure out if he is the perp of the worst terrorist attack in US history. If he is, they will have him killed.
Life Threatening Event 20 – Jennifer is confronted by operators from Delta’s F Squadron who warn her off, hinting that they will take care of their own.
Life Threatening Event 21 – When Jennifer does not drop it, she is abducted a block from Scott’s home, taken to an unknown location with a black hood over her head and hands cuffed behind her back.
ACT III
Break into Act III (80%)
Mystery 21 – Does the DoD or Delta have evidence that Scott is the perp?
Life Threatening Event 22 – Released, Jennifer manages to get through surveillance to confront Scott at his home and question him.
Finale (80% – 99%)
Life Threatening Event 23 – Jennifer is picked back up when she leaves Scott’s house. Rather than threatening her, a DIA operative offers her an opportunity to switch from the FBI over to either the DIA or NSA with an increase in pay grade.
Mystery 22 – While Scott appears to be safe, he prepares to leave for South America. Why does he leave and why are the attacks continuing?
Villain’s Plan 18 – Finish and escape to live another day.
Mystery 23 – Scott leaves for Brazil.
Final Image (99% – 100%)
Scott is assassinated in Ireland (or Sao Paulo, Brazil?) by an IC contractor who once worked for Scott at the Intelligence Support Activity while Jennifer watches from a concealed position.
Direction: Jennifer has dedicated 10 years to the FBI and plans on it as a career.
Twist: She resigns from the FBI, hired at the DIA then volunteers for the Activity.
-
Subject Line: Jim Thompson’s Thriller Plot!
Answer the question “What I learned is…?”
Each lesson get more difficult and the pressure to complete within the time limit increases the difficulty. The structure helps put things in perspective but I’m going to need to take more time to flesh out portions of each act but particularly Acts 2 and 3.
ASSIGNMENT
1. List out your structure using whatever structure you are comfortable with.
ACT I
Opening Image (0% – 1%)
Setup (1% – 10%)
Catalyst (10%)
Debate (10% – 20%)
ACT II
Break into Act II (20%)
B story (22%)
Fun and Games (20% – 50%)
Midpoint (50%)
Bad Guys Close In (50% – 70%)
All is Lost (75%)
Dark Night of the Soul (75% – 80%)
ACT III
Break into Act III (80%)
Finale (80% – 99%)
Final Image (99% – 100%)
2. Inside your structure, fill in the gaps with the Life Threatening situations, Mysteries, and Villain’s plan.
ACT I
Opening Image (0% – 1%)
Life Threatening Event 1 – Three police cars have a suspect trapped inside the house of a judge. The suspect fires on the cars disabling all of them. As the police get ready to breach the house, the Fargo courthouse explodes along with several business in downtown Fargo, ND.
Mystery 1 – Who is the person shooting the police?
Mystery 2 – Why have the buildings exploded?
Villain’s Plan 1 – The real reason for the attacks in ND and the killing of lawyers is more complicated.
Setup (1% – 10%)
Villain’s Plan 2 – Make the ND attacks the worse terrorist event in US history to have multiple Federal and State law enforcement agencies interact.
Life Threatening Event 2 – The courthouse and many other buildings are contaminated with Mustard gas/powder. In addition, the power structure for the city has been taken down with the substations contaminated with Mustard. This has resulted in hundreds of injuries of first responders and power company workers.
Villain’s Plan 2 – Distraction of the Federal LEAs through ruthless attacks and use of Mustard to injure and kill, increase pressure for a quick solution.
Life Threatening Event 3 – Fargo PD Detectives Jeff Peters and Jorge Robertson get video of the perpetrator’s escape from the uniformed officers. Using the video, they find a house where the perp may be located. When the detectives investigate with SWAT backup, they discover what appear to be improvised explosive devices protecting the property and back off for the explosive ordinance disposal (EOD) team.
Life Threatening Event 4 – Before the Fargo PD EOD team arrives, planes carrying the Critical Incident Response Group (CIRG) from the FBI and including members of DHS, ATF, US Marshall Service, and DoD investigators (includes members of Delta’s WMD squadron). This also brings Special Agent Jennifer Andrews part the FBI’s Hostage Rescue Team (HRT) advanced force who will prepare the ‘environment’ for the HRT squadron.
Mystery 3 – Why did the attackers use Mustard in their attacks? How did they manufacture Mustard?
Mystery 4 – How did the terrorists place the Mustard in containers camouflaged as power transformers?
Catalyst (10%)
Life Threatening Event 5 – The perp’s house in Fargo has IEDs which will spread Mustard over more than a city block and the EUDs are sophisticated with anti-tamper devices which make the task of the EOD teams extremely risky.
Villain’s Plan 3 – Further distraction through attacks on Bismarck and Grand Rapids.
Mystery 5 – With the collection of data on the attacks, the Bismarck and Grand Rapid attacks have no surveillance video showing a perp, only the Fargo attacks show a perp. As Jeff and Jorge refine the Fargo homicide data, they find several deaths outside of the city of civilians who are not lawyers or judges. Why were they killed?
Debate (10% – 20%)
Life Threatening Event 6 – Jeff and Jorge take their findings about the odd group of civilian deaths to the FBI Assistant Director in charge of the CIRG and the Joint Terrorist Task Force (JTTF), Frank Walters but Director Walters does not agree and still believes these are anomalies.
Life Threatening Event 7 – Jennifer hears about the anomalous civilian deaths, she seeks out Jeff and Jorge to find out more. When her HRT supervisory agent, Robert Williams, hears of this, he orders her to stop this line of inquiry and focus on developing the ‘battlespace’ for the HRT follow on forces. Jennifer does her job but also works with Jeff and Jorge including allowing access to multiple Federal databases.
Villain’s Plan 4 – Start of the attacks on the Midwest power infrastructure to increase pressure.
Mystery 6 – The civilians killed are all part of the same family group or were members of a jury pool more than 15 years ago. Why were they killed? Does this have to do with a trial more than 15 years ago?
ACT II
Break into Act II (20%)
Life Threatening Event 8 – Frank Walters and Robert Williams receive direct pressure from the ND representatives and senators to find the terrorist group. They see Jennifer’s focus on a possible single perp as a threat and threaten dismissal or disgrace to Jennifer if she does not stop.
Villain’s Plan 5 – The safe house in Sioux Falls includes a chemical lab in the basement and SCUBA diving air generators to fill and mix gases.
Mystery 7 – The perp’s house in Fargo is destroyed through explosives and seeded with Mustard but using Site Sensitive Exploitation (SSE) procedures developed by the DoD SOF, the HRT finds evidence of a ‘safe house’ in Sioux Falls, SD where the Mustard was manufactured. Included in this SSE are indications of a terrorist group made up of Native Americans, ISIS, and possibly other groups working to tear down the US government.
B story (22%)
Life Threatening Event 9 – Jennifer travels to Sioux Falls as part of the reconnaissance advanced team to place surveillance on the house with a focus on what the HRT will need to know for their assault. As part of the assault, she is slightly injured but two members are killed and five members are hospitalized.
Mystery 8 – Who is the Lakota, Everett Dixon, whose remains are found in the Sioux Falls safe house?
Mystery 9 – The SSE found in Sioux Falls leads the CIRG/JTTF to a same house in the Midwest.
Villain’s Plan 6 – The use of fake cell towers leased by ‘Acme Mobile Access, LLD’ which is owned through multiple shell companies that eventually lead to an account in Lichtenstein.
Villain’s Plan 7 – The use of stolen military weapons for the attacks using the cell towers.
Life Threatening Event 10 – Prior to the assault on the Sioux Falls house, attacks begin on the power infrastructure in the Midwest by using cell towers with high powered military weapons, 50 caliber machine-guns, 81mm Mortars, and recoilless rifles. These take out the critical substations with very high and extremely high power transformers.
Villain’s Plan 8 – The use of cloud, advanced automation techniques, and artificial intelligence to pace the attacks as well as surveil the locations. The use of AI allows only necessary surveillance to alert Scott.
Mystery 10 – How can the terrorist strike dozens of power sites simultaneously?
Life Threatening Event 11 – Jennifer is sent to examine a ‘false’ cell phone tower with a small team of HRT operatives. When they arrive, they are under surveillance and when they arrive, the team and their vehicles are taken under fire by a 50 caliber machine-gun.
Mystery 11 – Do all of the false cell towers have terrorist surveillance?
Fun and Games (20% – 50%)
Life Threatening Event 12 – Jeff and Jorge bring more evidence to Jennifer that the attack on ND is simple revenge and not a more sophisticated terrorist group. Convinced, she goes directly to Frank Walters who listens but the pressure from executive and legislature branches who need these escalating attacks to be part of ISIS and not a single man bent on revenge. He threatens her with immediate dismissal and being black listing to prevent her from ever working in law enforcement.
Mystery 12 – Who is Scott Miller?
Villain’s Plan 9 – Scott uses general aviation assets through multiple IDs for untracked movement around the country. He hires an actor ‘look alike’ for the ND attack timeframe. He kills the actor to remove the link.
Mystery 13 – Scott Miller has an alibi for the time of the attack in ND, he is working in Atlanta.
Midpoint (50%)
Life Threatening Event 13 – Jeff, Jorge, and Jennifer begin investigating Scott Miller but other than a generic US Army record in SOF and retirement as a CW4, they have very few details. They do find that he is a highly successful computer network engineer over the last 20 years. As they dig, Jorge is killed with Jeff and Jennifer both wounded – but Scott has an alibi for the time of their attack.
Villain’s Plan 10 – Scott created the initial war chest through attacks on drug houses in the Southeast region. He identified the houses through his county Deputy Sheriff’s access.
Villain’s Plan 11 – Scott increases the war chest by attacks on armored cars carrying diamonds and large amounts of cash from gambling.
Mystery 14 – If Scott Miller is the perp, how has he gotten the funding and weapons for an operation of this scope?
Mystery 15 – Could this all have been planned and put into place over the last 15 years without anyone realizing it?.
Bad Guys Close In (50% – 70%)
Life Threatening Event 14 – Jennifer is placed on suspension while in the hospital. She takes her findings to the DoD and Delta operatives on the CIDG/JTTF.
Mystery 15 – DoD agents find Scott’s ‘201 file’ heavily redacted and of not much more use than what Jennifer has already discovered.
Mystery 16 – The Delta operatives discover more since Scott had been in 1st SFOD-D for 12 years before going to the Intelligence Support Activity (ISA) for 10 years. They reach out to the ISA to see if they can be ‘read on’ to some of the projects and activities. The query reaches up the ranks to the commanders of the units talking.
All is Lost (75%)
Life Threatening Event 15 – Frank Walters finds out that Jennifer has given the DoD and SOF operatives sensitive FBI information, he lets her know that her career at the FBI is now at an end.
Villain’s Plan 16 – Increase the number of attacks and pressure on law enforcement agencies.
Mystery 17 – With Scott under surveillance, the attacks in the Midwest, South, and Southeast continue and even increase in their pace and scope. More than a quarter of the nation is having brown outs or even black outs. More than 100 courthouses have been blown up to the point of being razed. How can Scott continue doing this with the level of surveillance on him?
Villain’s Plan 17 – Distraction by getting the FBI and DHS focus on other safe houses he’s allowed them to discover.
Mystery 18 – The other safe houses discovered have a mixture of Native Americans, Arabs, Black, and Hispanics with indications of their complicity in the terrorist attacks.
Mystery 19 – Even as the safe houses are rolled up, the attacks on the infrastructure continue.
Dark Night of the Soul (75% – 80%)
Mystery 20 – The commanders of Delta and the Activity place the full resources of multiple teams on Scott to figure out if he is the perp of the worst terrorist attack in US history. If he is, they will have him killed.
Life Threatening Event 20 – Jennifer is confronted by operators from Delta’s F Squadron who warn her off, hinting that they will take care of their own.
Life Threatening Event 21 – When Jennifer does not drop it, she is abducted a block from Scott’s home, taken to an unknown location with a black hood over her head and hands cuffed behind her back.
ACT III
Break into Act III (80%)
Mystery 21 – Does the DoD or Delta have evidence that Scott is the perp?
Life Threatening Event 22 – Released, Jennifer manages to get through surveillance to confront Scott at his home and question him.
Finale (80% – 99%)
Life Threatening Event 23 – Jennifer is picked back up when she leaves Scott’s house. Rather than threatening her, a DIA operative offers her an opportunity to switch from the FBI over to either the DIA or NSA with an increase in pay grade.
Mystery 22 – While Scott appears to be safe, he prepares to leave for South America. Why does he leave and why are the attacks continuing?
Villain’s Plan 18 – Finish and escape to live another day.
Mystery 23 – Scott leaves for Brazil.
Final Image (99% – 100%)
Scott is assassinated in Ireland (or Sao Paulo, Brazil?) by an IC contractor who once worked for Scott at the Intelligence Support Activity while Jennifer watches from a concealed position.
-
Subject Line: Jim Thompson’s Life Threatening Sequence
Answer the question “What I learned is…?”
While I had a good deal of fun with this lesson, I also realized how much deeper I need to reach into the characters. As I said in one of the earlier lessons, I needed to turn my story on its head where Scott is not the ‘hero’ but the villain which meant that I needed a hero. Since I did not have any women within the original story, Jennifer seemed like a good idea but writing this, she is not developed to the point that she needs to be.
I get way too bogged down into the details – JTTF and CIRG, HRT, and … while knowing how the different organizations work, too much detail takes away from the story and the flow of the MIS. On the other hand, perhaps that is part of the editing process where entire scenes get left on the cutting room floor.
Thank you Hal for the Example of a Life Threatening Sequence from Basic Instinct. It was immensely helpful – not sure that I am on the right track with what I wrote but the example at least let me move forward in a fun way.
Question – are we going to get any feedback before Lesson 15? I would like to know if what I am doing is moving in the right direction or am I off track.
As I said, I had a good time working on this lesson and look forward to putting together everything from the last three lessons. I’m hoping it is going to be as much fun to write. I do wish it were on the weekend where I have more time to devote rather than during my working week.
1. What is the Villain’s plan and how does that put the Hero in danger?
The Fargo attacks being the worst terrorist incident in US history, the legislature and executive branches place pressure on the FBI to identify the terrorist group responsible.
As the attacks on the power infrastructure continue, the political pressure increases. Also the number of law enforcement agencies increases with Federal (FBI, DHS, ATF, DEA, US Marshall’s Service, and DIA), State (State Police and Bureau of Investigation), and City (Fargo, Bismarck, and Grand Rapids Pas). While the Federal have claimed jurisdiction, there is conflict between the FBI, DHS and Marshall’s Service on who would take charge. The Marshall’s Service lost several members in the destruction of the courthouses in Fargo and Grand Rapids.
2. What other potential dangers could your Hero experience as they try to solve the mystery and confront the Villain?
The FBI assigns an Assistant Director in charge of the Critical Incident Response Group (CIRG) and the investigation, which includes a large Forensics team and Behavioral Analysis Unit members along with other agents to create a Joint Terrorist Task Force. The FBI sends out two teams from the Hostage Rescue Team (HRT) including members of their Mobility Team and FBI Helicopters with their support team. The CIRG and Joint Terrorist Task Force believe the attacks are a large and sophisticated terrorist organization.
Jennifer, working with the Fargo Detectives Jeff Peters and Jorge Robertson, focus on the non-lawyers killed in Fargo and just outside of the Fargo area. The Assistant Director sees the logic in what Jennifer presents, but counters with the number of non-lawyers injured and killed by the Mustard gas used in the attacks. He does not want any of his people wasting time. At first he demands, Jennifer and the others stop pursuing the single terrorist theory. When this doesn’t stop her, he threatens Jennifer with being fired, including black-listing her to prevent her from ever working in law enforcement of any kind.
Jennifer’s theory gains some traction with the DIA agents who have been called into the JTTF because of the weapons stolen from DoD armories and the techniques, tactics, and processes (TTP) used by the perpetrator(s).
As Jennifer, Jeff, and Jorge continue their search through the Midwest, they find one of the false cell towers being used to attack the power infrastructure. As they approach, the US Army M2 fifty-caliber machine gun fires on their vehicle, destroying it and severely wounding Jeff. Both Jennifer and Jorge receive metal splinters from the attack, but are only slightly wounded.
The HRT taking down the safe house in Sioux City, SD, where Everett Dixon is located, two members badly injured by the explosion.
The HRT taking down the safe house in Waukegan, IL where Mahmud is located are more careful and find several anti-personnel mines (M18A1 Claymores) but are still surprised by IEDs which maim several members.
3. From the list of potential dangers, choose the ones that work for this story.
Presence of explosives and sophisticated IEDs from the start then continuing
Threats – physical (IEDs) and non-physical
Political pressure and threats
Loss of job and career
Demand to get with the program and stop wasting time pursing a ‘lone ranger’
Physical danger at the ‘cell towers’ and ‘safe houses’
Surveillance from the ‘cell towers’ and ‘safe houses’
People die and are seriously injured at the ‘safe houses’
DIA and Intelligence Community agents wanting to cover up ‘one of their own’
DIA wanting to kill Scott before the FBI can arrest him
4. Sequence those dangers in order and make a list like the one I did for Basic Instinct above.
A. Opens with courthouse explosions and collapses.
B. The Fargo PD responds to a break in at a judge’s residence but the perpetrator kills the judge then eludes the police while disabling their vehicles.
C The Fargo detectives pull video of the perpetrator, which shows a large man with military style weapons, including automatic weapons, use of suppressors, and grenade launchers.
D. The FBI takes over from the Fargo PD with dozens of agents, a Forensics and BAU team.
E. The Fargo detectives keep copies of the city video and trace the perp to a house within the city, but the FBI insists on using their HRT to breach rather than the locals.
F. The Fargo safe house has many IEDs which burn it to the ground but the HRT is able to recover some sensitive site exploitation to find another safe house in Sioux City, SD where the Mustard gas and powder were manufactured.
G. ND State Police and Bureau of Investigation push the Fargo PD to provide them with information.
H. The Fargo detectives, Jeff and Jorge, talk with one of the FBI Special Agents (Jennifer) who has been working closely with them about a strange collection of deaths who are not lawyers.
I. Jennifer, using her resources, finds several people are all related – nieces, nephews, and cousins. Then several of the others were employed by the family members.
J. Jeff and Jorge find that fourteen of the killed personnel had been part of the same jury more than 15 years ago.
K. The FBI HRT, DHS, and ATF focus on the Sioux City safe house which they breach, but it also has been booby trapped, which seriously injure several agents.
L. Jennifer takes this information they have discovered up to the FBI Assistant Director in Charge of the JTTF about the trial of Grace Miller, who had also been arrested for murder but the charges had been dismissed. Jennifer’s research discovers that Grace’s husband Scott Miller retired from the US Army as a CW4 after more than 30 years in Special Operations.
M. The FBI Assistant Director after talking with the HRT Director, DHS, ATF, and others within the JTTF and CIRG, are convinced this attack has to be a sophisticated terrorist group.
N. Jennifer pushes for a full investigation of Scott Miller, but the Assistant Director and her Supervisory Agent shut her down and threaten her job and future career in law enforcement.
O. Jennifer officially backs off to search for the fake ‘cell towers’ but talks with the DIA and DoD Special Agents attached to the JTTF about her theory.
P. The DIA begins a background investigation on Scott.
Q. Jennifer, Jeff, and Jorge team to find one of the ‘cell towers’ but Scott, using surveillance techniques, uses the weapons on the tower to ambush them, wounding all and seriously Jorge.
R. The DIA agent finds Scott’s background is highly redacted even for the DIA and IC. This causes him to raise the issue with his supervisor, then up to his director and finally up to the Director of the DIA.
S. The DIA agent talks with Jennifer and Jeff about what he’s found but warns them off with a hint that Scott will be taken care of quietly.
T. The DIA gets Scott fired from the Sheriff’s department and re-open the investigation on the drug house killings.
U. Jennifer travels with Jeff to Scott’s house, confronting Scott.
V. The DIA is already has surveillance on Scott. They attempt to pull Jennifer and Jeff off by reporting them to their respective superiors.
W. Jennifer attempts to get a warrant to search Scott’s home and interrogate him.
X. Jennifer questions Scott at his home.
Y. Scott, realizing he is under surveillance by the IC, leaves the US for South America where he’d spent several years and speaks fluent Spanish and Brazilian Portuguese.
Z. An IC contractor who once worked for Scott at the Intelligence Support Activity, assassinates Scott in Ireland.
-
Subject Line: Jim Thompson’s Mystery Sequence
“What I learned is…?” —
Bottom Line – I have already learned a great deal that will help make my book salable but I am already having problems implementing what I am learning. From the descriptions of the next two lessons, I can see that this will become even harder and something which will take longer to both understand and implement. However, I am getting more from the course than expected with more than half the class still left.
As I worked on creating the mystery sequence, I wrote more narrative than needed rather than focusing on the the ‘big secret’. I went back then tried to write more lists than narrative but left what I had earlier written.
Working on the Secret/Cover-up also challenged me. I again wrote a longer narrative then went back to break them down by lists. I’m not sure whether I’m on the right track with this or not which is why I only broke out Mystery 1, 2 and 5.
Sequencing the mysteries and the mystery chain were more difficult than I’d realized and I’m again not sure that I am doing it correctly. The lesson explanation was excellent with good examples from ‘Basic Instinct’ helped even though I had trouble implementing.
Last, I have gone back to watch both ‘Basic Instinct’ and ‘The Silence of the Lambs’ again to get a better feel for stack of suspense and the mystery sequence.
Create your mystery sequence. Give us the answer to these questions.
What is the big secret that the Villain is covering up?
Mystery 1: Who attacked and killed all of lawyers in ND?
Mystery 2: Who is the Lakota man, Everett Dixon?
Mystery 3: Who is the ISIS terrorist, Mohamed Abazaida?
Mystery 4: Is ISIS working with a Native American movement?
Mystery 5: Who is Scott Miller?
Mystery 6: Is Scott Miller the perpetrator of the ND attack?
——
The reason for the attack on the court system is revenge for the death of Scott Miller’s wife, Grace. While taking care of an aunt (90+) who had helped raise her, the aunt wanted to visit her sister outside of Fargo, ND. Grace took her aunt on the visit and stayed for two weeks before traveling back to NC. Within days of Grace’s return home, the aunt is taken very ill and rushed to the hospital in Fargo. Scott and Grace travel back to ND but when they arrive, Grace is arrested for murder. The niece taking care of the aunt, has made it look as if Grace has poisoned her aunt.
While Grace beats the murder charge, the niece and her mother sue Grace for money the aunt had given her. The trial is a sham with the group of Fargo native easily persuaded into a finding for the niece against Grace. While Scott pays the money and assures Grace this is not going to be a major issues, Grace is broken and falls into deep depression. She dies a year after the verdict.
Scott starts his preparation for revenge on Grace’s relatives, the jury, and lawyers but he understands that it will take years before he would be ready to carry out his plan. The preparation takes more than 15 years before the attack on Fargo.
His years with the County Sheriff’s department and SWAT team have made him even more cynical about the court system.
How many ways can they cover that secret? Those become the mysteries.
Mystery 1: Who attacked and killed all of lawyers in ND?
Secret: The killing of Grace’s relatives, the jury, and those involved in the trial is the real purpose of the ND attacks.
Cover up: Make the attacks in ND look like a major terrorist incident with nation wide coverage.
Mystery 2: Who is the Lakota man, Everett Dixon?
Secret: Everett Dixon is already dead and has nothing to do with the attacks in ND.
Cover up: Video of the perpetrator and fingerprints lead the FBI and DHS to Everett Dixon. When the attack on the ‘safe house’ where Dixon is located causes massive explosions, the FBI forensics team find Dixon’s DNA at the site.
Mystery 5: Who is Scott Miller?
Secret: Scott Miller is the lone perpetrator of the ND attacks.
Cover up: Scott has an near ‘air tight’ alibi in Atlanta, GA during the times of the ND attacks. While he has some wealth, Miller does not have nearly the resources needed for this size and scope of the ND attacks or the continued attacks around the country.
——
Scott’s preparation for revenge starts with becoming a reserve police officer at their local town then moving up to become a part-time deputy sheriff and part of the SWAT team. Using his contacts, he locates, recons, and attacks a number of drug houses to build up a ‘war chest’.
The attack on Fargo, Bismarck, and Grand Rapids, ND take place more than 15 years after his wife’s death. Scott personally conducts the Fargo attack but killing every member of the jury, Grace’s relatives, and all of the lawyers involved. This is obfuscated by the total destruction of the Federal Courthouse, the Fargo Police Department building, County Courthouse, State Courthouse, and Municipal Courthouse while also killing all of the lawyers and judges in Fargo. The same is done in Bismarck and Grand Rapids but through remote control and the use of pre-placed explosives and Mustard Gas.
Simple revenge on a small number of people becomes the killing of hundreds of lawyers and judges with massive destruction of the courthouses and police departments of three major cities. The killing of two dozen seemingly unrelated civilians become lost in the background noise of the largest terrorist incident on US soil.
By continuing the attacks throughout the Midwest, South, and Southeast, the FBI and DHS are forced by political pressure to look for some large scale and sophisticated domestic terrorist group.
Third, by setting up a number of ‘safe houses’, Scott leads the FBI primary investigator to a location in Sioux City, SD where he has placed a Native American (Lakota) activist who Scott kidnapped and killed literally placing the man ‘on ice’ for the FBI HRT. Using remote controlled automation, Scott has the Lakota ‘defrosted’ before the HRT attack. He has also seeded the house and area to make it very deadly for the HRT even though Scott knows a number of the operators on the team. The Lakota is blown to pieces during the assault but they are still able to recover some evidence, including computer hard drives which lead the investigation down a false path.
This continues for another ‘safe house’ outside of Chicago where an Arab with ties to ISIS has the same fate when the HRT breach the building.
The first mystery must engage the Hero into solving it.
Two of the Fargo PD homicide investigators, Jorge Robertson and Jeff Peters, along with FBI Special Agent Jennifer Andrews pull the data from the Fargo attack. As they assemble all of the killings, there are a few which are unusual in Walcott, Wahpeton, Fergus Falls, and a few other small towns. The people there are not lawyers and have nothing to do with the court system.
Categorizing the people, Jeff Peters discovers a connection to eight – they are all related. Why were they killed? Is this part of the terrorist attack or something which happened separately?
Sequence the mysteries so that each one leads us to the next one. Include ONE Red Herring mystery if you can.
Who is the Lakota discovered in Sioux Falls?
Who is the Arab discovered in Chicago?
Is ISIS working with Native American activists?
Because of the weapons and techniques used to attack the power grid, is a militia group involved?
Create a Mystery Chain for each main mystery.
Mystery 1: Who attacked and killed all of lawyers in ND?
– Video footage and fingerprints identify the Lakota, Dixon, as the perpetrator.
– Dixon has a record with the FBI and DHS as an American Indian activist with criminal and violent tendencies.
– The FBI cannot locate Dixon.
– Due to the scope of the attacks, political pressure is placed on the FBI to find the perpetrators quickly.
– The political pressure builds with the continued attacks on infrastructure and the court systems.
In the Fargo attacks, the police have video footage of the perp which matches what they eventual discover with the Lakota.
However, while the video footage and even some fingerprints match what they eventually learn about the Lakota, they have no DNA evidence.
Who is behind the terrorist attack in North Dakota?
How can there be no DNA evidence at the multiple crime scenes?
Is the same group attacking the infrastructure throughout the Midwest, South, and Southeast?
As Jorge, Jeff, and Jennifer investigate the commonalities between the civilians, they find the old suit against Grace Miller. When they look at Scott, he not only has an alibi for the time of the attacks in ND but it seems impossible for him to have traveled so quickly?
If Scott is involved, is he just part of a group?
If there is a larger group, why did they allow the civilians who were part of the suit to be killed?
Can the FBI break Scott’s alibi?
Can the FBI trace other connections, such as the drug house raids and killings back to Scott?
Is there DNA or other physical evidence linking Scott?
-
Subject Line: Jim Thompson’s Villain Has a Great Plan!
“What I learned is…?”
I focus too much on the technical and tactical details within each scene than rather than the MIS needed. Looking at the scenes to add MIS while building the Villan’s plan.has been interesting and helps the story’s structure. Not sure that I can change my initial writing style but I can certainly learn to edit by adding MIS while also removing some details if necessary or extraneous.
I have been going back into the outline portion of my novel to add M.I.S. to the beats and characters. I can see a very long road ahead but also a slow improvement to my story. As I said earlier, I am turning the story on its head which has made me also focus more on the investigation side and develop the ‘hero’ rather than the ‘anti-hero’ approach.
Reading the lesson, I did not agree with the conclusions of ‘Basic Instinct’. Rather than Beth as the villain with a plan, I thought it was Cathrine who manipulated and frame Beth. Interesting alternate perspective and I can see how it works.
To create your Villain’s plan, answer these four questions:
1. What is the end goal?
Killing of all the people who harmed his spouse and caused her death. Because of their use of corruption within the court, he attacks and wants to force a restructure of the Court system.
2. How can the Villain accomplish that in a devious way?
Use military and intelligence techniques, tactics, and procedures (TTPs) to execute all lawyers within Fargo,Grand Rapids, and Bismark, ND.
3. How can they cover it up?
Using ‘dummy’ terrorists (Lakota and Arab) with leads to a safe house sends the investigation on a different path. After the attacks in ND, a series of attacks on the power grid in the mid-west, south, and southeast threaten to bring the power grid down. This causes a political storm increasing the pressure on law enforcement to find the terrorist group. Besides the power grid, there are continued attacks on the Federal Court system. All of this leads the FBI and DHS to put aside all indications that this might be a lone individual.
4. Sequence it to make it as intriguing as possible.
At the areas where the power grid attacks have taken place, the terrorists have destroyed the equipment through explosives and incendiary devices. However, one FBI investigator from the Fargo attack, with the assistance of the FBI forensics lab out of Minneapolis pieces together enough from three locations to show how it could be automated and controlled through an Internet connection. Investigating how the equipment was put into place, they find a fake telco lease for the tower going back 5, 10, and 13 years.
-
ASSIGNMENT 2 – Subject Line: Jim Thompson SOTL Stacking Suspense
As I indicated from the first assignment in this lesson, this second part was probaby the most difficult to date. I started by watching “The Silence of the Lambs” in its entirety withoutpausing to fill out the word version of the Stacking Suspense Chart provided. I had never watched the movie or read the book before this.
I had a forced break due to a friend’s surgery. During this pause, I used the waiting time to read and listen to Thomas Hassis’s book. I used a copy of the stacking suspense chart to take notes on each chapter rather than scenes during my ‘waiting room’ time at the hospital. While the book and movie differ, the exercise of looking at each chapter with Action, MIS, Character MIS, and the stakes was enlightening to say the least.
The stacking of mystery starts from the very beginning with the introduction of Clarice Starling and Jack Crawford then continues without pause with Dr. (Ph.D) Chilton and Dr. (M.D.) Hannibal Lecter.
The same stacking is done with intrigue and suspense. Each time Clarince meets with Dr. Lecter, there is a tension on what might happen based on what Lecter has done in the past. I need to go back to study the dialog during these exchanges because they are used to rachet up the suspense, tension and intrigue in every case.
The mystery of the ‘valentine’ gift. Going to the storage site finding the head – the book and film diverge where the book goes into greater detail on the older vehicle which I thought made more sense than the movie. In each of these, the MIS builds over every scene (or chapter). I did not get the feeling of ‘stakes’ as much in the move as the book where Clarice Starling as an FBI Academy trainee may be recycled due to her involvement with Hannibal Lecter and the search for Buffalo Bill.
The introduction to Buffalo Bill and his abduction Cathrine sared and frightened. How easy to lure her into his grasp.
The death’s head moth is brilliant. By itself, it increased the mystery of why and how Buffalo Bill uses them. The intregue and suspense with the moth fore-shadows later in the movie. Clarice’s ability to keep herself detached from the horror while focusing on pulling every detail from the crime scene adds to her character, not sure about the MIS in this case. Perhaps, the scene has enough intregue by itself.
The Senator calling out to Buffalo Bill, then getting Dr. Hannibal Lecter to agree to give them information if they promise him a move with a window. I’m not sure about suspense or intregue, I think everyone knew this was not going to end well. So much so that even with the fore-shadowing from Barney, I felt bad about what was going to happen to the new guards. Hannibal’s escape is not as much mystery, intreque, or suspense but the tension builds even though we know what is going to happen and he proves that he is a master criminal mind who delights in gore and deception.
Clarice making the connection to Buffalo Bill and his sewing solves some of the earlier mystery on why the flailing of the women – to make a suit but the skill needed for this is not insignificant. The move does a better job than the book with the HRT and Clarice. I thought they were looking at the same location but when I realize Clarice is at a different location the suspense goes through the roof! With the lights out, the confrontation between Clarice and Buffalo Bill is a classic pistol duel when Bill holds the winning hand but Clarice surprises him with her skill, determination, and professionalism.
The book and film diverge again with the book having Dr. Lecter still in the states. Both leave us knowing that Chilton’s days are numbered before he is on the menu while setting us up for additional movies with Hannibal (and Clarice.)
— Give us a detailed list of the things you learned from doing this process that can help you write stronger thrillers.
This process took a long time and I know that I missed more than I found in the scenes. For me going over the Book chapters then the movie and back again, while it took more time, I began to believe that I was comprehending more of the Mystery, Intrigue and Suspense of each scene and character. In the above, I hardly mention anything about Jack Crawford but he plays an essential role in several scene MIS and his how character’s. Barney the attendant who treated Dr. Lecter with as much respect as possible in the circumstances plays a pivitol role warning the new guards and the police about Dr. Lecter. It is not so much that he is ignored as their lack of experience with Lecter which leads to their demise and his escape.
These two assignments have highlighted to me how much I don’t know and a number of flaws within what I have been writing. I don’t know that I will be able to move as quickly from this course to the necessary level of writing but I do feel like I will have gained some skill and just as important tools to increase those skill with additional practice.
Last, I will not be looking at movies or even TV show the same. I’ll have to keep some of my comments to myself (of it will be like critiquing ‘war’ movies for the wrong weapons, tactics or uniforms :).
-
Subject Line: Jim Thompson BI Stacking Suspense
1. Make a list of everything you learn in the process that can help you write stronger thrillers:
My thanks to Hal Croasmun for the excellent example for Basic Instinct. I do not believe I could have pulled the information (M.I.S., action or stakes) without the example. I went through the movie once on my computer with the pdf open. The smoothness and flow of the scenes as each builds M.I.S. upon the last humbled me. Particularly when I read “we are only working with action, stakes, character MIS, and the MIS of each scene. We’ll add other skills later.”
I watched the movie a second time without the pdf open and tried to identify each scene, the M.I.S within the scene and the characters. This second viewing, hopefully helped for the second assignment. When I went back to the pdf, I was not surprised to find that I’s missed scenes and not found the same M.I.S. for either the scene or characters.
The thing I found interesting were the turning points or twists. From scene 37, where Cathrine finishes her book and breaks it off with Nick, the finish could have been the focus on Beth as the killer with Cathrine waling away, leaving the viewer to wonder whether Beth had been framed or was the killer. By bringing Cathrine and Nick back together then showing the ice pick under the bed, we are left knowing Cathrine is the killer but will she kill Nick or perhaps when will she kill Nick.
The pacing of this movie due to the stacking of suspense made it one of the most intense I remember. The interrelationships between the characters which are brought out as part of the scene or character’s intrigue builds additional tension throughout the film.
2. Give us a list of the things you learned about Thrillers as you did this assignment.
I learned how MIS builds upon each scene and beat to make an amazing thriller.
After walking through each scene with a focus on the obvious MIS, watching the movie gave me a different perspective on the building of suspense and intrigue in a more visceral way. We (my wife and I) found when we discussed the movie afterwards that we both ‘felt’ the tension as the scenes stacked the suspense.
I found the chase scenes exciting but my wife did not. They are probably one of the more obvious areas of stacking the suspense and tension. We both knew something bad was going to happen to Gus as he went up to the fourth floor. Again, obvious but the suspense and tension of the scene were exceptional.
I went back to my Plottr outline to look at where I had missed the mark on adding MIS or stacking the suspense and tension. I learned a lot that I could apply and realize there is so much more that I don’t know.
I hope I can learn how to apply the current MIS, stacking suspense, increasing tension and the more advanced skills being taught but from what I have already learned (in this first week), it looks like a very long road.
This only barely touches the surface of what I have learned or started learning.
-
Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?”
While I like working from my protagonists angle, I believe that I will need to turn the book on its head. My FBI and DHS agents or at least a couple of them will need to be come the focus. I think the M.I.S will be focused on the disbelief of their superiors that the perpetrator could be working alone and not part of a larger group. The story stays essentially the same but with the focus on the law enforcement effort. The rogue agent’s focus will be not on the lawyers and judges killed or the destruction across the country but on the small number of civilians killed in and around Fargo, ND who are not part of the justice system. Using these, they back track more than a dozen years to find linkage to Scott but when they look into Scott, he not only has an alibi but his build is nothing like what is shown on the captured video in Fargo.
WORLD: After an attack in Fargo,ND on the lawyers, magistrates, judges, and a number of private citizens, there are a continuous series of attacks running through the Mid-West, South, and Southeast on power infrastructure, lawyers, politicians, and justice system (Federal, State, and local).
Big Mystery: Why the attacks in Fargo, ND? While Fargo is an important city in North Dakota, it is not on the majority of American’s radar. If Fargo, then why the continued attacks?
Big Intrigue: The FBI and Homeland Security cannot find the perpetrators of these attacks. Homeland security deputy director absolutely convinced the acts are from a domestic terrorist group.
Big Suspense: The Federal LEA closing in on him. An female FBI agent absolutely sure that he is the perp but unable to find any proof and unable to convince her superiors.
Tell us the Intriguing World you have selected for this story.
How one person using skills gained over many years in special operations experience can bring the Federal government to a near standstill. The combination of special operations skills, intelligence tradecraft combined with the use of current technology including advanced encryption, unmanned vehicles (air, ground, and sea) for surveillance and obfuscation (electronic and more), with much of this controlled through general artificial intelligence systems are used to confuse and mislead. The use of the tradecraft and technology builds an infrastructure of money, safe houses, vehicles, and attack sites which work together to keep the LEA personnel off balance.
With your top 2 or 3 characters, tell us the role they play and then answer these three questions:
HERO: Scott Guderian
Mystery: Why did Scott attack Fargo, ND?
Intrigue: How can his attacks be so thorough? How can he avoid being captured on close circuit TV? How does he escape the most intense manhunt in US history?
Suspense: How does Scott manage to not only escape but continue to attack other areas in the Mid-West, South, and Southeastern United States? Is he working alone or is this a terrorist group? Does the killing of the Fargo, ND civilians – who are not lawyers – indicate a possible motive and point to an individual(s)?
VILLAIN: Frank Walters (FBI Supervisory Special Agent) and Denise Johanson (FBI Special Agent)
Mystery: Why the devastating attack on Fargo, ND including the use of poisonous gas (Mustard) and numerous IEDs?
Intrigue: Is this a single event or just the start of something larger? How can they identify the terrorist group? Were there indicators of this attack that the FBI and DHS missed?
Suspense: There is no DNA recovered from any of the scenes which is beyond belief and the FBI and Homeland Security bring in their own teams to gather evidence at every site (more than twenty sites within Fargo and another dozen outside the city).
RED HERRING(S): Lakota Indian and Arab Activist
Mystery: Is this the start of a ‘Native American’ uprising? Are the tribes cooperating with a group of Arab terrorists to bring down the American Justice System?
Intrigue: How did these people gather the information about the lawyers in Fargo and other cities within North Dakota? Why did they attack the civilians in Fargo but no where else in ND?
Suspense: The FBI makes a discovery of the safe house in Sioux Falls, SD but is unable to capture anyone when the house blows up. The evidence from the house points to other safe houses in several other states but not the specific addresses. Weapons recovered from the wreckage are all ‘Ghost’ guns created with sophisticated 3-D printers with many full automatic rifles with suppressors.
-
Subject line: Jim Thompson Big M.I.S.
ASSIGNMENT
Give us your logline, then answer these questions. As you do, try to get to the essence for each answer. If you give more than a paragraph for each answer, you’ve likely gotten sucked into your own story. The more you can get to the point, the stronger your story will end up being.
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”
When thinking about my protagonist, one issue in creating suspense and tension is usually done with the ‘hero’ failing. If my protagonist fails by being seen/identified then it leads to him being captured and imprisoned. The way I have looked at this in the past has been through intense rehearsals, simulation techniques, infiltration of the LEA, use of disguise and other tradecraft. I need to find a way to use those to add M.I.S. into the scenes.
1. What are the conventions of your story?
Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: Scott Guderian
Dangerous Villain: FBI Special Agent in Charge, FBI Deputy Director, Fargo Police Department homicide detective, DHS Special Agent
High stakes: Destruction of the US infrastructure – specifically power grid and the Department of Justice court system
Life and death situations: Attack on Fargo, ND with multiple encounters with LEA but maintaining a distance and no killing of local LEA in spite of being trapped, keeping closed circuit systems from identifying, getting the federal LEA to attack a decoy safe house which also takes them down a false path, nearly every scene has life or death situations or set up the next.
This story is thrilling because? The underdog attacking injustice and corruption with a near constant set of attacks, near defeats/captures, and the chase of a monolithic group of law enforcement and homeland security. Can this ‘little’ man persevere over the government agencies while maintaining some level of rationality to maintain a non-covert persona?
The Big M.I.S.:
Mystery: Why did Scott attack Fargo, ND? Why does he continue attacking the US justice system? Does Scott part of a larger organization?
Intrigue: Will Scott be caught? How does he have the skills to accomplish this campaign? Is he able to change the US justice system through violence? Does he use other means? Why can’t the US Federal, state and local law enforcement organizations catch the terrorist?
Suspense: Will Scott be caught – killed or captured? Can he keep up the increased chaos and domestic terror attacks as multiple law enforcement agencies work to find the terrorists?
-
Lesson One Movie: Sisu
Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: Arksel Korpi
Dangerous Villain: Nazi commander and rapist sadistic sergeant
High stakes: Loss of gold and death
Life and death situations: Truck w/nazi’s; minefield (5); Scortched Earth/Hanged; AircraftThis movie is thrilling because – Arksel becomes more injusred but even more determined, even pulling shapnel and bullets out of his body as he continues.
What is the BIG Mystery, Intrigue, and Suspense of this story – why is he so focused on keeping or recovering the gold, what is the source of his skills
Big Mystery: How can Arksel keep moving forward.
Big Intrigue: Will Arksel survive the next scene.
Big Suspense: Will Arksel survive? Will he defeat/kill all of the SS complany?
Anything else that makes this movie a great thriller? It contians outrageous and satisfying scenes with bullets, bombs and even some laughs. The movie is exciting with surprising thrills and filled with action and suspense. Somehow, this movie maintians humor while being both bloody and brutal.
-
My name is James (Jim) Thompson. I have not written any scripts but have multiple draft novels and short stories. I’m hoping to add better structure, flow, and deeper subplots to my writing.
I am a retire US Army SGM with extensive experience in communications, airborne, and special operations. I have 30 years network and simulation engineering experience with Internet service providers. I was one of the authors of a Cisco Press technical book. I hold a 2d degree black belt in Okinawan karate. I actively scuba dive. I am an avid and prolific reader including non-fiction, technical as well as fiction.
-
I, Jim Thompson, agree to the terms of this release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.