[Timothy G Winters]

JT. Here are a few comments, if interested.
Jessica Trembley Outline

Jessica Tremblay’s Horror Outline Version 1
Title: Death Cleaning
Logline: Trapped in the basement of a building, a pregnant woman battles a bloodthirsty creature using objects found in storage lockers.
1. OPENING. INT. APARTMENT BUILDING, STORAGE LOCKERS – NIGHT
JOHN (60) is attacked by a vicious creature.
2. INT. JOHN’S APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
He dies of a heart attack.
3. INT. JOANNA’S APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM – DAY
Joanna retrieves clothes from her purse and removes their anti-theft devices.

(We know Joanna is resourceful and hurting for money: great!)

4. EXT. PARK – DAY
Chasing a white rabbit, she almost gets hit by a car. MIKE (23), a passerby, stops to ask if she’s okay. His dog grabs the dead rabbit.
5. INT. JOANNA’S APARTMENT, ENTRANCE – DAY
Mike escorts Joanna home. She kisses him.
6. BEDROOM
They make love.
NEXT DAY.
She steals money from his wallet while he sleeps. He’s a cop! She hides clothes with store tags.
7. LIVING ROOM
She practices yoga. Her arm is shaky. She massages her old shoulder injury.

(Do we know how she got the injury? Will that play later?)

Hears spooky noise coming from the —
8. KITCHEN
Mike’s dog throws up blood, bones, and fur at her feet.

( I was curious if Joanna has a thing against dogs, which will get healed [John’s dog] by the end of the story…)

9. EXT. VETERINARIAN OFFICE, PARKING LOT – DAY
Mike holds a leash. No dog. She tries to console him. He knows she stole money from him and leaves her in the parking lot.
10. INT. JOANNA’S APARTMENT, KITCHEN – DAY
Joanna cleans the blood on the floor.
11. INCITING INCIDENT. INT. BATHROOM – DAY
She throws up. Gets a phone call from Memento Mori.
12. EXT. MEMENTO MORI FUNERAL HOME – DAY
She picks up her father’s urn and personal belongings at a “drive-thru” funeral. Finds his address and keys dangling from a white rabbit’s paw keychain.
13. EXT. JOHN’S APARTMENT BUILDING – NIGHT
A sign “NO PETS ALLOWED”.
14. INT. JOHN’S APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
A picture of her father and his dog. No traces of the dog.
Texts Mike. He asks why she was chasing the rabbit. Strange noises. She chases a raccoon out of the apartment.
15. INT. JOHN’S BEDROOM- DAY
She wants to sleep in, but is awaken by footsteps. There’s someone in the apartment!
16. INT. JOHN’S LIVING ROM – DAY
She catches the BUILDING MANAGER (late 50s, leather vest) going through her father’s stuff.
He gives her five days to empty the place or he’ll charge her a month’s rent. He gives her business card of a junk removal company.
17. INT. JOHN’S APARTMENT BUILDING, HALLWAY – DAY
She meets her father’s neighbour MRS. LARSEN (70, bandaged hand) and ask about her father’s dog. She says pets are not allowed in the building, and shuts the door.
18. INT. JOHN’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
She looks for money, valuables, but apartment has been cleaned up (probably by Manager). She calls junk removal company.
19. INT. JOHN’S BEDROOM – DAY
She wakes up to find manager showing apartment to OLD MAN (a potential renter). Her body is exposed. Manager winks at her.
20. INT. JOHN’S KITCHEN – DAY
Manager escorts OLD MAN out then asks for her father’s armchair.
21. INT. BUILDING MANAGER’S APARTMENT – DAY
They push armchair to his place.
22. INT. JOHN’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
She finds scribbled message STOR where armchair was. Doesn’t know what it means.
She pushes the urn OUT of the KEEP pile. Junk removal company arrives.
23. EXT. PARK – DAY
She waits in the park.
24. INT. JOHN’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
Urn still there. They don’t take human remains. And they can’t give her money because the stuff is worth nothing.
25. INT. APARTMENT BUILDING, LOBBY – DAY
She sees Junk Removal Guy give money to manager. She waits for mailman. Finds three pension cheques with different names sent to her father’s address. Manager grabs them.
26. INT. JOHN’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
Joanna asks for her father’s money, but Bank needs death certificate. She phones Removal company but they remind her she signed a contract.
27.INT. JOHN’S BATHROOM – DAY
She throws up.
28.INT. PHARMACY – DAY
Exits with shopping bag.
29. INT. JOHN’S HALLWAY – DAY
Mrs. Larsen sees pregnancy test through plastic bag.
30. INT. MRS. LARSEN’S APARTMENT – DAY
Mrs. Larsen confirms father’s dog is dead – they had him stuffed. Didn’t she find him?
She confirms names of previous residents from her father’s place – same name she saw on envelops. She warns Joanna to get out as soon as she can.
31. INT. JOHN’S BATHROOM – DAY
Pregnancy test is positive.
32. INT. JOHN’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
Calls Mike, but doesn’t tell him about pregnancy. He asks again why she was chasing white rabbit. She doesn’t answer.
She packs her suitcase. Manager inspects apartment. Wants her to clean the floor. She cleans floor with old t-shirt as OLD MAN watches, waiting to move in.
33. TURNING POINT 1. INT. BUILDING MANAGER’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Manager won’t take keys back. He demands she empties her father’s storage locker before midnight. She remembers her father’s scribbling STOR.
34.INT. STORAGE AREA – DAY
She finds a few keepsakes, including a stitched Bunny (full of lavender buds) and a letter from father asking her to feed Charlie. She yells that his dog is dead.
She piles up boxes outside the door. She’s done.
Eyeing some valuables, she breaks in lockers and steals items.
She tries to leave, but the pile of boxes (and stolen goods) collapses, blocking the door. She’s trapped inside! No phone.
She looks for another exit – finds none.
35. ENTRANCE
She paints a message – HELP – and slips it under the door. Doesn’t notice the claw marks on the concrete floor
A banging noise is revealed to be an old unstable air conditioning unit, dangling from a metal arm.
In another hallway, water PLOPS from a leaky pipe into a bucket underneath.
Since JOHN’S LOCKER is now empty she takes refuge in —
36. MRS. LARSEN’S LOCKER
Joanna browses through Mrs. Larsen’s photo albums and discovers she had a husband and child but they died. She tucks in a doll.
Scare: Suddenly, all lights go off.
Release: a few emergency lights turn back on.
MINUTES LATER
Joanna gets ready to spend the night. Xmas lights plugged in. Annoyed by plopping sound.
37. HALLWAY
She puts fabric at the bottom of the bucket.
She finds a locker with door ajar. She closes it. Finds a tennis ball and takes it.
38. MRS. LARSEN’S LOCKER
Scares: Sleeping, her hand sticks out in hallway, under the door, between planks, holding the tennis ball. Something zeroes in on it.
Release: She removes her hand at last second, stirring in her sleep.
Scares: Baby spiders climbs on her.
Realease: She slaps them. Sits on boxes to sleep.
Scares: Nightmare – a creature grabs her hair.
Release: Wakes up to find her hair was just stuck on a long nail.
Awake. The plop noise is louder.
39. HALLWAY
As she approaches bucket, it falls. Water spills. An animal scampers off. She’s not alone!
40. EXIT
Cardboard on floor was pushed back, smudged, now reads HELL.
41. HALLWAY
A hairy creature comes out, pulling out the sleeping bag. The string of Xmas lights unplug before she can see more.
42. NEW PLAN. LOCKER
She shelters in place. Creates a barricade.
Beast breaches barricade. Joanna comes face to face with it. Beast smells Joanna and attacks. Joanna crawls over the wall
43. ANOTHER LOCKER
Beast finds her smell. She throws her clothes in hallway. Beast shreds them and moves away.
She puts on old clothes – vintage shorts and top.
Looking for objects to defend herself. Doll points to tool box in locker across hallway.

(The doll is an intriguing touch. They, inanimate objects are on her side.? And why?)

44. HALLWAY
She crosses over the hallway using a ladder as a bridge.
45. CONSTRUCTION LOCKER
The only tool she finds is a mini exacto knife with one inch blade. She uses it to unscrew bicycle mirror and look in hallway.
46.HALLWAY
Crossing back. The ladder falls in hallway. Beast chases.
She throws Bunny. Beast eats it. Gets sleepy. (Beast weakness: lavender is like catnip to the beast.)( Can that be foreshadowed before this?)
47. PLAN IN ACTION. LOCKER
Sows bunny. Overfeeds it. Gets an idea.
Fills balloon with rat poison. Throws it to the beast. It catches it, but beast sneezes poison in her face!
48.HALLWAY
They both run to the water hole from opposite direction. Beast drinks and Joanna washes her eyes.
They’re face to face. After a MIGHTY ROAR, the beast throws up the balloon. Joanna runs.
49.LOCKER
Doll is covered in poison. She peels off one layer of clothes (from pink to blue). Her stomach growls. She realizes monster is also hungry.
50. HALLWAY
Horror situation: using baby mice as bait.
Suspense: she places the picnic basket in the hallway. The baby mice are inside. She waits for the beast to appear and eat the mice.
Dread: Monster comes closer. Momma mouse looks at Joanna. She decides to save the mice.
Surprise: Monster breaks in, eats the mice (and momma mouse). Chase.
Monster reveal: Monster is hungry and wants to eat her.
51. HALLWAY
She kisses and throws bunny like a grenade to slow down the beast. Loses Bunny.

(So many smart strategies in dealing with monster, draws me into the situation.)

52. LOCKER
Horror Situation: chased by beast in hallway, she used phone flash to blind beast.
Surprise: she finds her father’s phone in the locker (where he was attacked). Her birthday unlocks it.
Dread: She walks in hallway. The beast could be anywhere.
Fear: monster arrives.
Panics: monster chases. She flees.
Suspense: Will monster catch her?
Dread: Monster is close. Almost reach her.
Hysteria: she uses the phone flash to blind the beast.
Surprise: she looks at monster pic.
Monster reveal: a glimpse of its physical appearance. It’s terrifying.
Scare: a noise!
Release: it was just a box falling.
53. MIDPOINT. LOCKER
Finds pictures of her mom on her dad’s phone. It gives her energy to fight. Prep montage. She puts on hockey equipment and straps doll to her chest for protection. She’s now ready to fight.
54. RETHINK EVERYTHING. HALLWAY
The doll strapped to herself like Rambo-with-a-baby, she attacks! They become ally in the fight, fist bumping and high fiving.
The attack fails. She gets injured.
55. FAILURE. LOCKER
HORROR SITUATION: losing the doll.
HYSTERIA: As beast rams against door, Joanna removes a giant splinter. She bleeds heavily. She sows her wound with threads and needle.
APPREHENSION: She cleans doll, removes the last layer of slimy clothes. Discovers it’s a girl. Not knowing if she and her baby will live, she names the doll (and her baby) Violet. Hugging doll, she finds a battery holder. Struggles to insert batteries. (Or maybe Lavender?)

Surprise: And just when she’s about to press monster breaks in and steals doll!
ANGUISH: The sound of the doll crying Mamma awakes her maternal instinct.
HORROR: Beast taunts her with doll. She can’t help but want to save it.
She removes all protection. Time to get dirty!
56. VARIOUS LOCKERS
NEW PLAN. Prep montage – She breaks things. Creates traps and weapons.
57. MRS. LARSEN’S LOCKER
Stakeout under rabbit fur coat. She steps out for the big showdown.
58. HALLWAY
She faces beast with a Super Soaker filled with urine. Sprays her urine everywhere. Beast goes mad.
Saves doll by throwing it in another locker where it will be safe, out of reach. (She’s done her job as a mother, by protecting the doll.)
Horror situation: She tries to scare beast by making herself look larger – making butterfly wings with sleeping bag over her head. The beast cowers.
Apprehension: Her arm shakes, gets tired.
Monster reveals: monster gets even larger and looms over her
Dread: Joanna bows, at the mercy of the beast
Surprise: she pulls the handle of inflatable raft. Rafts inflates, scaring beast
Horror: raft hits a nail. It deflates.
Chases. Beast pushes against raft. Rafts crashes on wall.
Dread: will monster catch her?
59. LOCKER
She falls in a trap. Gets injured. Beast drags her to a tunnel towards a certain death. Suddenly –
60. HALLWAY
Horror situation: Mrs. Larsen (who cleared the blocked door) arrives to check on Joanna.
Surprise: Mrs. Larsen is in storage!
Panic: Beast attacks Mrs Larsen. She uses the diversion to reach the door.
Horror: Beast eats Mrs Larsen.
Suspense: Will she leave or stay to help Mrs Larsen? She decides to stay.
Panic: They flee in a locker, but Mrs. Larsen can’t make it over the wall.
Hysteria: Larsen dies.
61. HALLWAY
Horror situation: Joanna stays to confront the beast.
Apprehension: Joanna finally reaches door, but beast roars to get her attention.
Suspense: She sees it has her mother’s brooch on fur (a family heirloom). Will she stay or go? She closes door. This time it’s personal.
Horror: She runs in a loop. Beast chases. Its heads get caught in a rope attached to all the locks — all locker doors open as beast pushes forward.
Dread: Beast is held back, only inches from Joanna’s face.
Monster reveal: the monster in all its glory.
Dread: Beast backs away and door CLACKS in reverse.
Suspense: All doors are now open, obscuring view of hallway.
Dread: Suddenly all doors slams back again as monster lunge forward. She runs as the rope breaks and monster chases her.
Except now all lockers are open, so she can use the big objects from inside lockers. Weedwhackers, etc.
Beast gets entangled in Xmas lights. Exhilarating battle. But then things go sideways.
62. LOCKER
She takes refuge in a locker. Larsen grabs her ankle (not dead).
Larsen reveals the monster origin. How she found beast in park and brought it here as her secret pet. But it became aggressive. When it bit her, she stopped feeding it, thinking it would die, but it attacked Joanna’s father (who was her lover). Following his death, she’s been plagued with guilt. She dies from her wound.
Joanna removes all protective equipment.
63. EXECUTE NEW PLAN. HALLWAY
Horror situation: fighting the beast.
Surprise: She pulls on AC but it doesn’t fall.
Scare: Beast gets closer. AC finally falls.
Release: Beast lies dead. It’s over.
Apprehension: she walks carefully around the dead body.
Scare: Beast not dead! It grabs her ankle.
Panic: She does yoga pose to grab object and strike the beast.
Monster reveal: Fights mano-a-mano and discovers beast has tits! The Beast is female!
Surprise: She punches beast in the tits and gets covered in bloody mucus.
Anxiety: Beast grunts in pain, walks away, steps on the cardboard sign.
Apprehension:Joanna crawls to exit, sees sign that now says HELL O. Frowns. Beast moans.
64. TURNING POINT 2. Beast drags itself aimlessly in hallway, followed by a trail of blood. Joanna opens door of a locker. Beast crawls in.
Beast gives birth to pups.
Joanna realizes all this was her fault. By closing door of the locker earlier, she had accidentally locked beast out of its lair and left it to roam in hallway. Beast was just protecting entrance of its lair.
She finds her father’s stuffed dog Charlie and a note “Don’t forget to feed Charlie”. She sees $100 bill sticking out of mouth. The stomach is full of it. He used dog as piggy bank! Picks it up and faints before she can reach door.
Wakes up when Manager comes in. She tries to leave without being seen (if he finds out she was stealing stuff she’ll go to prison). The ripped cardboard sign says HE.
Meanwhile he finds Mrs. Larsen’s body, the beast and puppies. He calls her name. Knows it’s her who created this mess. She tries to reach the exit.
He catches her.
She smashes the stuffed dog on his head. It explodes with cash. Manager says he’ll let her go, if she leaves the money, but when she walks by, he grabs her. She knows he steals cheques from dead residents so he wants to kill her.
Big chase.
65 .LOCKER
Enters locker (the one with door swinging ajar that she had closed earlier) and discovers a tunnel.
66. TUNNEL
She crawls in the tunnel — wondering where it will lead (mystery) — as Manager chases her.
67. CLIMAX. LAIR
Monster reveal: Discovers tunnel leads to the monster’s lair in furnace room. That’s why it was guarding the entrance the whole time.
It’s hot. Discovers old resident’s bodies that manager was cremating. He says he could have cremated her father for free if Mrs. Larsen hadn’t found him first.
Fight. She knocks out Manager thanks to hot yoga move.
She crawls out of lair.
68. LOCKER
She uses beast against manager. He gets eaten.
69. RESOLUTION. HALLWAY
Washes at the leaky pipe. Puts on a new dress.
She gives bunny to beast. Grabs brooch from beast.
Forgives her dad.
Heads towards EXIT sign with her suitcase and Charlie the dog under her arms. Hear puppies whine. Looks back. She can’t leave them.
70.PARK
Joanna caries her suitcase near pond. Frees beast and pups hidden inside. They run into the wild.
71. LAKEHOUSE
She drives to lake house from her childhood photos. Leave a voicemail to Mike and answers his question truthfully about why she was chasing rabbit. (Story of her mom’s rabbits.)
72. ROAD
Phone rings. Reaching for her phone ringing, she finds a puppy on the back seat. Calls Mike, says she’s coming home with a surprise.
*
Your outline is much more developed than mine. Brilliant Alien situation in a foreboding basement. I was also curious if there is ultimately a further step. Why did the creature come into being? I love the maternal twist to the creature, but was also wondering if it was created for a purpose and the events of the story changes it’s destiny. Or. Perhaps that is what is to be discovered in the sequel. Love the story and it has great potential to terrify . . .

[Timothy G Winters]

Time’s Outline Version 1
Title: WAR SURPLUS
First Logline: 5 victims of war fight to survive being passengers in a demon-haunted battle ambulance and an active war Zone.

Outline 1:

Opening Scene:
1. EXT – AFGHANISTAN DESERT – DAY
THREE MEN in Russian uniforms kneel surrounded by Afghani fighters, all weapons trained on the prisoners. They refuse to get into the offered vehicle. The Afghani leader orders them shot.
Horror situation: Russian fighters refuse getting into an old ambulance and are shot.
Apprehension: Russian prisoners might have a chance to live, but are stubborn.
Fear: would rather die than ride in that.
Suspense: Surely they can go along, though one of them is cracking down. They are killed.

2. EXT –OUTSIDE SAN ANGELO, TEXAS – NIGHT
CHAS kicked from a pick-up and savagely beaten. He tries to get help from a locked truck lot. Sees a man in white who lets him in and shows him to an old ambulance, a Dodge Wc54 truck ambulance, circa WWII. Chaz catches a glimpse of guy’s face. Whatever it is, it ain’t human, or at least a living one. Chaz screams. . .
Horror Situation: Meeting a stranger late at night, needing help
Fear: Strange guy, somethings not right.
Shock: His face is a living skull with shining eyes. . .

3. INT – TRUCK, AFGHANISTAN CITY – DAY.
Chas awakens with his left hand cuffed to the steering wheel of the antique war surplus truck in Afghanistan and the war is still going on around him. The only modern equipment is some blinking camera devices in the Dashboard and the back of the truck: who is watching? U.S. Soldier Ambrose is forced to use Chaz to drive the truck to rendezvous with the others JAMES HOWARD, PVT. DIANE SIKOWSKI, RAFI SAWRIZ, SALA MUHAMMED, and her baby ALI. They are fired upon as they escape.

4. INT – TEMP. ARMY GARAGE – DAY
Ambrose gets the truck to mechanic. The Mechanic is shocked when touching the truck. Has a vision, but can’t find any damage.
5. INT — TRUCK – DAY.
While alone in the truck, Sikowski also sees unexplainable vision of a Nazi. GUNFIRE ERUPTS NEARBY.
• Horror Situation: Seeing a Nazi appear and disappear in the truck
• Horror emotions Fear of insanity and the irrational.
• Scares: Words are being etched into the side of the truck.
• Releases: The others load up and all seems the way it was.
• Monster reveals: something is in this truck.
6 INT – TEMP. ARMY GARAGE – DAY
Rafi (the Translator) Warns them they will not get to Mosul and because of the truck refuses to go with them. As the enemy moves in on the station, Mechanic Throws tools and cans of gas in the back and goes with them out of town.
7. INT – TRUCK – DAY.
Mechanic Cousins is knocked unconscious in the escape from the city. He sees himself killed in war, a Japanese sword swings towards his neck. Upon waking, he is relieved that it was just an illusion.
8. INT/EXT – TRUCK – DAY
Visibility has gone down to zero in blowing sand. Ambrose tells Cousins to lift himself out and see if he can get their bearings. Sikowski volunteers but Cousins does it. He sticks his head above the truck and a low hung radio wire contacts his neck. The Mechanic is decapitated.
• Horror Situation: Eric wakes from Nightmare, and then lives it.
• Horror emotions Apprehension, dread.
• Scares: Irrational punishment, decapitation.
• Releases: Sword was just a dream, in a truck alive.
• Monster reveals: The truck manipulates dreams and lives
9. INT – TRUCK – DAY
There is mayhem inside the ambulance. Sikowski wants to recover the body, but Howard won’t have it. They berate Ambrose for his sacrificing Cousins. Howard takes command.
10. INT — TRUCK – DAY.
After losing control of his weapon, Ambrose finds himself across from a man dressed in a white suit. Chaz is no longer there. The driver’s side window opens and the cab is filled with foul, burning fumes. Ambrose literally starts falling apart. He stumbles into the back and finds himself unharmed.
• Horror Situation: Ambrose, angry at Howard, is vulnerable to the truck.
• Horror emotions anger, loss of power.
• Scares: He is dissolved
• Releases: Weird old man, got to get a grip. Just a bad dream.
• Monster reveals: The truck is working on his sanity.

11. INT – TRUCK – DAY
A discussion of mission and strategy with Howard, Sikowski and Ambrose about what is going on, as driver Chaz listens in. Sala remains silent. The only thing certain for Ambrose is that he has to get Howard, the truck and the mystery cargo to Mosul. James Howard is with a company called Blackwater, and demands they get him there ASAP.

12. INT – TRUCK – DAY.
Chaz drives on. SHOTS wake everyone in the back of the truck. One of the gasoline cans is tipped over and is leaking around someone’s boots.

13. INT – TRUCK – DAY.
Chaz wants to stop but they drive on.

14. INT – TRUCK – NIGHT.
The group in the back trying not to succumb to sleep. The man in white is seen again. Howard has a vision and is killed in it. Gun fires and nails Howard through the skull, as in the hallucination.

• Horror Situation: a vision of Vlad Tsepes and has a nightmare of having his hat nailed to his head
• Horror emotions : Fear, Insanity.
• Scares: Hat nailed on his head.
• Releases: Just a dream?
• Monster reveals: No one is safe. Renew desire to get out of there.

15. INT. – TRUCK – NIGHT.

Chaz needs a bathroom break. The survivors decide to drive until there is a place along the highway that they can pull over safely. Fight between Howard and Sitkowski and a thrown match falls into the leaking gas. Ambrose’s gas-soaked uniform is ignited and he, their presumed leader, dies in fire.

16. INT – TRUCK – NIGHT
Sikowski is touched by Gray. She is in a room with the Nazi, Old and decaying. He puts the Luger in her mouth, but then gives her the luger. With broken bayonet he finishes the inscription on the truck wall: Wir sind die Holle. Zerstore UNS!.

• Horror Situation: BEING TORTURED BY A DEAD NAZI
• Horror emotions: Dread, apprehension.
• Scares: decayed re-appearance of Nazi corpse.
• Releases: Only a dream, but not really. . .
• Monster reveals: Somehow there is a way to destroy this truck . . .. .

17. INT – TRUCK – NIGHT.
SIKOWSKI wakes up and the Afghan women translates from the German: We are Hell. Destroy US! Yes, Sala speaks fluent English and other languages. They put together what needs to happen.

18. EXT/INT – TRUCK – NIGHT.
Chaz, still driving, sees the beings of the truck clawing onto the exterior of the truck. He sees the bloodied Howard and burnt Ambrose.Truck runs over an IED, EXPLOSION. The survivors finish the job and burn the Truck.

19. EXT – DESERT – DAWN.
The next morning, the truck is again road worthy and waiting for them. Chaz heads into town. He drops off Sikowski, Sala, and Ali. He drives the truck into Mosul for the dropoff. Chaz sees all the entities haunting the truck, trying to prevent him from his goal. He is killed by a sniper’s bullet and the truck crashes.

20. EXT – MOSUL STREET – DAY.
Resolution: Under US Surveillance, the WAR Surplus vehicle stands, yet again, pristine in the center of a Taliban stronghold. One of the Taliban fighters is lured to the truck, just as Chaz was. The cameras in the truck are still watching as the cycle starts again.
21. EXT – MOSUL – DAY
Sikowski, Sala, and the baby trudge through the city with Howard’s bags of American Dollars, searching for a way out of the war zone.

[Timothy G Winters]

Time’s Horror Outline Version 1

What I learned doing this assignment is that finishing the outline was the most onerous part of this endeavor yet. I have much judgment, which I am trying to ignore, about the product so far. though I can see a shape of this story emerging.

Opening Scene:
1. EXT – AFGHANISTAN DESERT – DAY
THREE MEN in Russian uniforms kneel surrounded by Afghani fighters, all weapons trained on the prisoners. They refuse to get into the offered vehicle. The Afghani leader orders them shot.
Horror situation: Russian fighters refuse getting into an old ambulance and are shot.
Apprehension: Russian prisoners might have a chance to live, but are stubborn.
Fear: would rather die than ride in that.
Suspense: Surely they can go along, though one of them is cracking down. They are killed.

2. EXT –OUTSIDE SAN ANGELO, TEXAS – NIGHT
CHAS kicked from a pick-up and savagely beaten. He tries to get help from a locked truck lot. Sees a man in white who lets him in and shows him to an old ambulance, a Dodge Wc54 truck ambulance, circa WWII. Chaz catches a glimpse of guy’s face. Whatever it is, it ain’t human, or at least a living one. Chaz screams. . .
Horror Situation: Meeting a stranger late at night, needing help
Fear: Strange guy, somethings not right.
Shock: His face is a living skull with shining eyes. . .

3. INT – TRUCK, AFGHANISTAN CITY – DAY.
Chas awakens with his left hand cuffed to the steering wheel of the antique war surplus truck in Afghanistan and the war is still going on around him. The only modern equipment is some blinking camera devices in the Dashboard and the back of the truck: who is watching? U.S. Soldier Ambrose is forced to use Chaz to drive the truck to rendezvous with the others JAMES HOWARD, PVT. DIANE SIKOWSKI, RAFI SAWRIZ, SALA MUHAMMED, and her baby ALI. They are fired upon as they escape.

4. INT – TEMP. ARMY GARAGE – DAY
Ambrose gets the truck to mechanic. The Mechanic is shocked when touching the truck. Has a vision, but can’t find any damage.
5. INT — TRUCK – DAY.
While alone in the truck, Sikowski also sees unexplainable vision of a Nazi. GUNFIRE ERUPTS NEARBY.
• Horror Situation: Seeing a Nazi appear and disappear in the truck
• Horror emotions Fear of insanity and the irrational.
• Scares: Words are being etched into the side of the truck.
• Releases: The others load up and all seems the way it was.
• Monster reveals: something is in this truck.
6 INT – TEMP. ARMY GARAGE – DAY
Rafi (the Translator) Warns them they will not get to Mosul and because of the truck refuses to go with them. As the enemy moves in on the station, Mechanic Throws tools and cans of gas in the back and goes with them out of town.
7. INT – TRUCK – DAY.
Mechanic Cousins is knocked unconscious in the escape from the city. He sees himself killed in war, a Japanese sword swings towards his neck. Upon waking, he is relieved that it was just an illusion.
8. INT/EXT – TRUCK – DAY
Visibility has gone down to zero in blowing sand. Ambrose tells Cousins to lift himself out and see if he can get their bearings. Sikowski volunteers but Cousins does it. He sticks his head above the truck and a low hung radio wire contacts his neck. The Mechanic is decapitated.
• Horror Situation: Eric wakes from Nightmare, and then lives it.
• Horror emotions Apprehension, dread.
• Scares: Irrational punishment, decapitation.
• Releases: Sword was just a dream, in a truck alive.
• Monster reveals: The truck manipulates dreams and lives
9. INT – TRUCK – DAY
There is mayhem inside the ambulance. Sikowski wants to recover the body, but Howard won’t have it. They berate Ambrose for his sacrificing Cousins. Howard takes command.
10. INT — TRUCK – DAY.
After losing control of his weapon, Ambrose finds himself across from a man dressed in a white suit. Chaz is no longer there. The driver’s side window opens and the cab is filled with foul, burning fumes. Ambrose literally starts falling apart. He stumbles into the back and finds himself unharmed.
• Horror Situation: Ambrose, angry at Howard, is vulnerable to the truck.
• Horror emotions anger, loss of power.
• Scares: He is dissolved
• Releases: Weird old man, got to get a grip. Just a bad dream.
• Monster reveals: The truck is working on his sanity.

11. INT – TRUCK – DAY
A discussion of mission and strategy with Howard, Sikowski and Ambrose about what is going on, as driver Chaz listens in. Sala remains silent. The only thing certain for Ambrose is that he has to get Howard, the truck and the mystery cargo to Mosul. James Howard is with a company called Blackwater, and demands they get him there ASAP.

12. INT – TRUCK – DAY.
Chaz drives on. SHOTS wake everyone in the back of the truck. One of the gasoline cans is tipped over and is leaking around someone’s boots.

13. INT – TRUCK – DAY.
Chaz wants to stop but they drive on.

14. INT – TRUCK – NIGHT.
The group in the back trying not to succumb to sleep. The man in white is seen again. Howard has a vision and is killed in it. Gun fires and nails Howard through the skull, as in the hallucination.

• Horror Situation: a vision of Vlad Tsepes and has a nightmare of having his hat nailed to his head
• Horror emotions : Fear, Insanity.
• Scares: Hat nailed on his head.
• Releases: Just a dream?
• Monster reveals: No one is safe. Renew desire to get out of there.

15. INT. – TRUCK – NIGHT.

Chaz needs a bathroom break. The survivors decide to drive until there is a place along the highway that they can pull over safely. Fight between Howard and Sitkowski and a thrown match falls into the leaking gas. Ambrose’s gas-soaked uniform is ignited and he, their presumed leader, dies in fire.

16. INT – TRUCK – NIGHT
Sikowski is touched by Gray. She is in a room with the Nazi, Old and decaying. He puts the Luger in her mouth, but then gives her the luger. With broken bayonet he finishes the inscription on the truck wall: Wir sind die Holle. Zerstore UNS!.

• Horror Situation: BEING TORTURED BY A DEAD NAZI
• Horror emotions: Dread, apprehension.
• Scares: decayed re-appearance of Nazi corpse.
• Releases: Only a dream, but not really. . .
• Monster reveals: Somehow there is a way to destroy this truck . . .. .

17. INT – TRUCK – NIGHT.
SIKOWSKI wakes up and the Afghan women translates from the German: We are Hell. Destroy US! Yes, Sala speaks fluent English and other languages. They put together what needs to happen.

18. EXT/INT – TRUCK – NIGHT.
Chaz, still driving, sees the beings of the truck clawing onto the exterior of the truck. He sees the bloodied Howard and burnt Ambrose.Truck runs over an IED, EXPLOSION. The survivors finish the job and burn the Truck.

19. EXT – DESERT – DAWN.
The next morning, the truck is again road worthy and waiting for them. Chaz heads into town. He drops off Sikowski, Sala, and Ali. He drives the truck into Mosul for the dropoff. Chaz sees all the entities haunting the truck, trying to prevent him from his goal. He is killed by a sniper’s bullet and the truck crashes.

20. EXT – MOSUL STREET – DAY.
Resolution: Under US Surveillance, the WAR Surplus vehicle stands, yet again, pristine in the center of a Taliban stronghold. One of the Taliban fighters is lured to the truck, just as Chaz was. The cameras in the truck are still watching as the cycle starts again.
21. EXT – MOSUL – DAY
Sikowski, Sala, and the baby trudge through the city with Howard’s bags of American Dollars, searching for a way out of the war zone.

[Timothy G Winters]

Time’s Scary-As-Hell Scene. (Horror Day 14)

What I learned doing this assignment is . . .not sure yet. I wrote this, not really knowing where I was going, except to fill out the skeletal outline, partially in my head and partially on the page.

A. Horror Situation: Get the Haunted truck to its destination, maybe that will free them.
B. Dread to Shock.
C. 1,Dread: The Truck is renewed. Driving the infernal machine into an ambush.
2. Surprise/scare: Chaz tries to drive into IED; Truck avoids it. He keeps trying.
3. Fear: the truck throws everything into stopping them.
4. Anxiety: All are tortured. Chaz sees Amin in the tower.
5.Release: Chaz leaves the two women out.
6. Shock : Chaz gets to Mosul. The sniper shoots him.
______________________________________________________________________________
EXT – AFGHAN DESERT – DAWN
The three ragged survivors (and one baby) continue to walk toward their destiny in Mosul. The sun is coming up over rock. They are burned out as well as the truck but keep moving forward. They round a curve in the road and . . .

The truck, back to it’s original condition, sits to the side of the road waiting for them. It has won and is even impervious to fire.

SIKOWSKI
NO . . .

They stare at the thing in shock.

SALA
It’s dead. We burned it…

CHAZ
What do I do?

SALA
It wants to get to the city . . .?

Chaz starts forward, then looks back.

CHAZ
Are you okay here? You can get into town . . .?

They watch the truck.

SIKOWSKI (To Chaz)
You and me—we go.

SALA
No, we all go. We were brought together. We have to go.

They move forward.

INT – TRUCK – DAY.
The dash-cam in the truck wakes up to record the four of them climbing back into the truck.
CHAZ
Here goes.

He starts the engine and starts driving.

EXT – DESERT – DAY.
The truck moves toward the outskirts of the city. Along one side of the road, the evidence of an IED crater with wreckage nearby. Chaz slows down watching. He drives onto the side of the street to see if the wheels can find another explosive.

The left front wheel comes to a mound of sand by the concrete and stops.

INT – TRUCK – DAY.
Chaz takes his hands off the wheel. Without his help, the truck backs up away from the mound. The wheel twists in front of Chaz. He grabs it and tries to steer into the bomb, but the truck is determined.

Chaz picks up speed trying to swerve onto the shoulder, while the truck constantly swerves back onto the road. THE ENGINE ROARS.

On the passenger side, Sikowski and Sala hold on with white knuckles.

The Man In White is suddenly there with them, covered in other’s sacrificial blood.

The dead Nazi is on Sikowski.

The man with the turban nailed to his head SCREAMS IN GHOSTLY ECHOES with them.

Cousins’ Headless body is there.

The still burning corpse Ambrose writhes in eternal pain.

The truck is riding like an earthquake.

EXT – TOWER (dream) – DAY
Abdul (sniper) scans the street below, high- powered rifle at the ready. His scope sight roams for possible targets.

INT – TRUCK – DAY
CHAZ SCREAMS and slams on the brakes. Sikowski and Sala, shaking, look to Chaz.

CHAZ
Get out! HURRY! Get out now!!!

There is the thought to protest, but Sikowski painfully helps Sala (and the baby) from the truck.
CHAZ
It’s time . . .

EXT – TRUCK – DAY
The truck peels out in the direction of a tall tower near the city center. The truck dodges traffic and pedestrians racing on.

EXT – TOWER – DAY
Abdul HEARS A RACING ENGINE and resets the rifle. . .

INT – TRUCK – DAY
All the entities in the vehicle are moving on Chaz steering toward the tower. They are tearing him apart as he SCREAMS and fights on, fighting them to steer the truck. Chaz is surrounded by the dead, enveloped by them, becoming one of them.

EXT – TOWER – DAY
The Sniper’s scope finds an American truck driving crazily toward it. . .

INT – TRUCK – DAY
Chaz is barely alive and in torment or triumph,

CHAZ
FUCK YOU!

The wind screen shatters AS AN EXPLOSION of a bullet cuts through Chaz’s head.

EXT – CITY – DAY.
Several citizens come running up to the vehicle that was careening through their streets. They surround it as if it were a dangerous animal that might lunge at them. The truck is empty. It is in good solid shape, for a vehicle built in the 1940’s and a veteran of so much warfare, almost pristine once again. The truck is entirely empty. It appears. . .

[Timothy G Winters]

Time’s Scares, Releases, and Creepy moments!

What I learned doing this assignment is not to wait for inspiration, silly me, but keep banging away for an idea and sitting before the keyboard, see what happens.

INT – TRUCK – NIGHT
Sala’s eyes are heavy. She checks Ali, tucking his blanket around him, and relieved that he is asleep. She looks at the others in the back. Sikowski is sitting up and trying not to sleep. Howard, clinging to his silver cases, is continuing to smoke. Sala lets her eyes close. Something nudges her hand. Her eyes dart open.

Howard is leaning over her.

SALA( in Afghani)
Get back!

HOWARD
Sorry. You’re not using this cover, right?

Howard holds a folded blanket that wasn’t being used. SALA PRACTICALLY HISSES at Howard. He retreats to his cases with the spare blanket.

Sala watches him as her eyelids get too heavy to stay open. Something touches her hand in a caress. Her eyes open and she stare at Howard, who is still on the other side of the truck. She stares daggers at him. He shrugs and looks away.

Her eyes close again.

A small child’s hand caresses her hand but her eyes don’t open this time. A child’s voice (QALI) speaks to her and her face responds to the sound.

QALI (OS, in Afghani)
Mumi! Mumi! I love you! Where have you been?

SALA
I’m here. I’m here. Just go back to sleep.

QALI (OS)
I need you, Mumi.

SALA
I need to rest my eyes. Go to sleep, Qali.

She opens her eyes.
SALA (whisper)
. . . Qali . . .?

Howard is still across the truck bed. Sikowski has lost her battle to stay awake. Chaz is still driving in the light of the dashboard. Ali is peacefully asleep.

SALA
Qali. . .
Her eyes close as if she wants to go back to her other older son. Immediately the child’s hand is caressing hers. Her hand moves to him. She touches his small spindly legs in his white shorts.
QALI (OS)
Mumi . . .

Sala must be dreaming but it is a good dreaming. She looks down at where her hand is resting on her boy’s knee. Qali is kneeling before his mother. She has missed him terribly. Her eyes move up his small form. He is wearing the T-shirt of a rock band that the American gave him. Her eyes move up to his beautiful face, but . . .

It’s not a clean cut and his HEAD IS GONE. . .

Sala bolts upright and there is no boy there. She bites her finger to keep from making a sound. She is alone among these people.

[Timothy G Winters]

Time’s Level 3 Horror Emotion Scene

What I learned from this assignment is even when I stew, contemplate, and stew some more, I have to sit there, see if I can follow the instructions, and come up with the best thing I can. I am greatly in debt to the phrase, “You can come back later and fix it.”

INT – TRUCK – NIGHT.
In the light of the dashboard, Chaz struggles to stay awake. His eyes close. Ambrose, riding shotgun, punches him in the shoulder. The truck swerves.
CHAZ
Hey!

AMBROSE
We should switch you out, but you made THAT hard . . .

CHAZ
Do you think I did this –

Chaz stops himself; it isn’t worth the effort. The Truck starts hitting bumps in the road.

INT – TRUCK BED – NIGHT.
BUMP as the truck jars, one of the gas cans falls on it’s side. Drops of gas start leaking from the lid.

INT – TRUCK – NIGHT
Ambrose squints ahead through the windshield.

AMBROSE
Try and stay on the concrete. Don’t need to find an IED
right now . . .We don’t have a mechanic anymore…

CHAZ
Or a translator. R.I.P. (Pause) God.
Improvised Explosive Devices. Sounds so civilized,
doesn’t it? Forgot about them . . .

A huge bump. A CHORUS OF DISAPPROVAL FROM THE BACK. Howard is smoking something.

SIKOWSKI HOWARD
Ouch! Hey . . . Watch the road!

AMBROSE
That’s keep us awake—

Ambrose closes his eyes and rubs them. Long day.

INT – TRUCK (DREAM) – NIGHT.

GRAY(OS)
Long day . . .

Ambrose’s eyes shoot open. He is sitting opposite the man in the white suit, who is now splattered with blood. Ambrose looks toward the back of what should be the truck but can’t see anyone.

GRAY
Your eyelids are heavy. How about some fresh night air?

Ambrose rolls down the passenger side window. Clouds of chemical smoke pour through the opening. Ambrose COUGHS TO RETCHING.

GRAY
Wonderful stuff: spent fuel, chemicals, poisons. Been
burning them for years . . .

Ambrose grabs his throat and tries to roll up the window: it doesn’t roll up. HIS SKIN STARTS BLISTERING, HIS HAIR SMOKING AND FALLING OFF IN EMBERS. . .

INT – TRUCK – NIGHT
Ambrose HACKS HIMSELF AWAKE. Everyone in the vehicle is now awake and staring at Ambrose. Another BUMP IN THE ROAD. Ambrose returns their blank stares. Embarassed, he throws an order at Chaz . . .

AMBROSE
Pay attention to what you’re doing!

Chaz looks away. Ambrose is still puffing like a steam engine. He looks at the other passengers . . .

AMBROSE
You guys—seen an old guy in white?

Sikowski turns away. Chaz double takes but keeps his eyes on the road. Sala kisses her baby. Howard puffs away.

HOWARD
Fuck you. We’re all a little stressed out. By
tomorrow night, t his’ll be a distant memory.

The gasoline has started puddling around someone’s boots. Sikowski looks at Howard.

SIKOWSKI
You gonna share that?

AMBROSE
Fuck sakes, Sikowski. You’re on duty.

Sikowski takes the doobie from Howard.

SIKOWSKI
I know. You want some?

A dirty look from Ambrose, as Howard offers his super Lighter to re-light. She lights up and as the truck bumps, Howard, yeah, drops his lighter. It rolls on the floor as both Sikowski and Howard try to capture it.

Ambrose looks at the clownshow, then extends his hand to Sikowski.

AMBROSE
One puff. . .

She hands over the joint. Ambrose sucks one hit and then holds up the J as an example—

AMBROSE
And that’s it!

He snubs the joint on the dash and drops it. The puddle of gas is around Ambrose’s boots. Good thing the silly cig was out, cause it falls right into the puddle of petrol. Nothing.
Then

FLOOOOOOOMMMMMM! Ambrose disappears into a SCREAMING INFERNO. EVERYONE SCREAMING. The passenger door flies open and Ambrose is gone. AMBROSE’S VOICE ECHOES in the night air.

Chaz hits the brake, but the ambulance swerves and the engine dies. Sikowski grabs a blanket, jumps out the back and runs back to aid the downed soldier. She tries beating at the consuming flames, but to little avail. Ambrose screams and rolls about but the flames continue and seem to grow brighter. Sikowski’s blanket ignites. She throws dirt on him but it seems to ignite, too.

SIKOWSKI
Stop, goddammit! Stop!

There’s nothing she can do. She runs back to the truck door and yells—

SIKOWSKI
Gimme his gun!

Chaz stares at the smoldering passenger seat beside him. He looks back at the others and then . . .

CHAZ
Ambrose had it on him.

They turn to the DYING SCREAMS and the still writhing figure in flames.

[Timothy G Winters]

Time Winters’ Level 2 Horror Emotion Scene
“What I learned doing this assignment is that I don’t have all the answers. And maybe don’t worry about being good and getting the thing submitted in time (though I would still love to.) I must sit and face my story and not give up.

TRUCK INT – AFGHANISTAN CITY – DAY.

Chaz snaps awake. It is bright daylight. He is in the driver’s seat of the old ambulance. He reaches for the door handle and finds his left hand is cuffed to the steering wheel. Chaz pulls and tugs every which way to get his hand free; it’s locked to the wheel!

CHAZ
‘ hell is . . . ?

Staring at his left hand as if it betrayed him, he notices: He’s no longer in the civvies he was wearing before, he’s in

CHAZ
…My desert fatigues?

Chaz grabs the cuff chain and wrenches at it with all his might. Something moves behind him in the back of the truck. . .

CHAZ
Hey, old man, did you. . .?

Chaz turns around. The back is entirely empty except for a wooden crate labeled, ”U.S. MILITARY”. He feels under the seats for—anything.
His breath comes in bursts.
CHAZ
O.K. . . .Okay. Ah, okay. . .

Chaz clumsily opens the car door and slips out.

EXT – AFGHAN STREET – DAY
He looks at the bombed-out city around him. He’s not in Texas anymore. He tries to get his bearings: where in hell is he and how did he get here?
There is no one around. He makes sure and then unzips and relieves himself, single-handedly, on the side of the truck.

AMBROSE (OS)
Hey! Hold it right there, buddy! That’s my damn
Vehicle . . .

Chaz freezes mid-stream and peers behind himself. Stomping towards Chaz is SARGEANT DAVID AMBROSE, 29, a strapping, by-the-book, jar-head haircut in full desert battle gear.

CHAZ
Your truck?

AMBROSE
Button goddamn up!

CHAZ
So you got a key to this? Get this off me!

AMBROSE
You’re cuffed to my vehicle!

CHAZ
Give me the key and I won’t be . . .

Ambrose looks at the cuffs and Chaz attached to them.

AMBROSE
No! No! No! Not now, not today . . .Who ARE you?

SOUNDS OF RIFLE FIRE within a couple blocks. Both men freeze, listening.

AMBROSE
Can you drive? Get in the truck . . .

Chaz climbs back in as Ambrose runs to the passenger side.

INT – TRUCK – DAY
Ambrose shoves the key into the ignition, pulling his sidearm, and aiming it at Chaz’s head. Chaz starts the engine.

AMBROSE
Two blocks, up ahead. There’s an alley on the left—take it . . .

Chaz hits the gas.

CHAZ
I’m driving! You gonna shoot me?

EXT – AFGHAN STREET – DAY.
As the truck cruises out past the building into the open, bullets spray across the street and the truck.

INT – TRUCK – DAY.
The men shield from the blasts as Chaz focuses on getting out of the open. THE BULLETS PINGING THE TRUCK AND THE STREET drown out everything else. Chaz sees the alley and aims for it. Sunlight pours through several holes in the back as the windshield is suddenly webbed with cracks. Both men YELL.

EXT – AFGHAN STREET – DAY.
Chaz pilots the ambulance into the narrow alleyway.

AMBROSE
Pull behind there and stop!

CHAZ
You ’ any idea what you’re doing?

AMBROSE
Nobody does. . .STOP!

The truck slams to a stop.

INT – TRUCK – DAY.
SILENCE. Chaz and Ambrose watch the alleyway, waiting. Ambrose checks his watch and the structure they are now directly behind.

CHAZ
We gotta get outta here! What are you waiting for?

AMBROSE
Shut up! (checking watch again) Dammit. Let’s go.
They’re not coming . . .. . .Supposed to get out
here. They’re . . .

Chaz sees someone cowering in the shadows of the doorway. He immediately slams into gear and manuvers the back of the truck in line with the door.

CHAZ
Get the door! Let’em in . . .

AMBROSE
My orders, asshole!

Ambrose, however, jumps up and opens the back doors of the ambulance. BULLET SOUNDS GETTING CLOSER. Out of the shadows come: JAMES HOWARD (40’s, American) dusty business suit clutching several suitcases, PVT. DANA SIKOWSKI (20’S) Female U.S. GI, ushering SALA RASFARI (30, Afghani) carrying a baby, and RAFI ABDUL, (30’s, Afghani) turbaned and distrustful.

They plow into the truck. As Ambrose starts to shut the back, Chaz drives as fast as he can from the alley. As the group settle in and hold on, Ambrose makes his way up to the shotgun seat. As he sits . . .

AMBROSE
(appreciative) You’ve done this before. There’s
one more stop . . .

Chaz scowls.

CUT TO:

[Timothy G Winters]

“What I learned doing this assignment is that I don’t know what to write yet, that some things are starting to flow in. I want to follow the directions you give as closely as I possibly can and see where I can get to.

Time Winters Level 1 Horror Emotion scene.

FIRST DRAFT

EXT –TEXAS COUNTRY ROAD – NIGHT

A single street light shines down on a dusty road near some sort of barbed-wire compound, dark, shadowy, and dead. Then there’s some TINNY MUSIC FROM A RADIO and SOME DRUNK COWBOYS SINGING in the distance. A NOISY PICK-UP ROARS down the road, as one of the drunk A–holes shouts:

A—HOLE #1
Pullover. Leave him here! Bastard can walk the hell back…

The pick-up comes to a stop and two of the COWBOYS drop from the front seat and stagger to the tailgate. Inside the bed of the truck is a mostly unconscious, beat to shit man’s body: this is CHAZ HOPPER. The Cowboys drop him from the back, and one of them gives a last kick, just for good measure. The moment is memorialized with some spit and . . .

A—HOLE #1
…Faggot!

The Cowboys remount the cab, singing again, and the pick-up kicks a dust cloud into the air as it swerves off into the dark. THE GROWL OF THE MOTOR and THE RADIO disappear into the distance.

Chaz isn’t moving and might be dead. Then . . .

CHAZ(with difficulty)
Embrace—the suck . . .

His eyes open and try to establish his location. Painful to move.

CHAZ
(Almost a whisper) Man down… help…

Chaz painfully moves to the locked gate of the compound: Big steel closed padlock on the gate. He tugs on the lock. It is solidly closed.

CHAZ
Hey! . . .Anybody? . . .Need some help here . . .

Tries to snap off the padlock. No good. Chaz stops squinting at the little office structure inside the compound. Vaguely he can make out, the figure of a man, in a white suit, facing the door of the office. The figure stands there, not moving. The figure is GORHAM GRAY, though that introduction will never happen.

CHAZ
Hey, shithead! Can you hear . . .Need some help?

A LOUD CLICK. Chaz notices the padlock on the gate has fallen open. Chaz drops the lock and pushes through the open gate, his eyes fixed on the still figure. As Chaz shuffles toward the man, he hears a vaguely British-accented voice speaking, though the figure is still frozen.
GRAY(OS)
Chaz Hopper, Corporal, U.S. Army. Retired.
GRAY (con.)
I have a place for you.

The white figure slowly moves into the graveyard of broken military vehicles and as Chaz can’t do anything else he follows the creepy old guy, unable to see the face.

CHAZ
You know my . . .Can I use your phone?

Chaz, hurting, is moving as slowly as the guy in white walks ahead and moves behind a beat-up military truck (Dodge Wc 54, circa 1942) that looks like it might have been an ambulance in another life. Suddenly all the doors of the ambulance are standing wide open in a whirl of dust . . .

CHAZ
How’d you do that? . . .Ah,– the phone?

Gray is apparently standing somewhere behind the truck.

GRAY (OS)
Rest here . . .

Chaz limps to the driver’s side door. He takes a whiff of the inside and grimaces.
The figure of the man in white moves around behind Chaz who is staring into the truck trying to decide what to do.

GRAY (OS)
Touch the wheel.

Chaz eyes the inside of the old claptrap. The driver’s seat might be a place he could rest for a minute . . .

GRAY (OS)
Touch the wheel.

Chaz shrugs. His left hand contacts the old steering wheel. Suddenly,

EXT – FLASH FORWARD – DAY
Hell on earth, a world in flames, everything is burning.

EXT – TEXAS COMPOUND – NIGHT
Chaz snaps his hand back as if he’s been stung.

CHAZ
Ouch! Static, huh?

GRAY(OS)
Rest . . .

Chaz grasps the wheel again, holding himself up. He considers sitting in the driver’s seat. Starts to move forward, but hesitates. He glances at the guy behind him in the side mirror of the truck.

Instead of seeing a face, he sees something else. A never before seen thing that shouldn’t be alive, with glowing eyes that shouldn’t be living. As a scream escapes his throat . . .

CUT TO:

[Timothy G Winters]

Time: Horror Outline version 1
What I learned is that I am willing to accept creative defeat. ( I really wish your system of posting assignments was easier for me to grasp.

EXT – AFGHANISTAN DESERT – DAY
THREE MEN in Russian uniforms kneel in the blowing sand. Their uniforms are ragged. They are surrounded by Afghani fighters, all weapons trained on the prisoners. The Afghan leader, speaking Afghani, tells the Russians to get into the vehicle. Not sure if the Russians understand what is being said. The Russian commander studies the conveyance vehicle. He confers with his comrades in Russian. He spits and tells the rebels (Russian) to go to Hell and then repeats it in Afghani. The Rebel leader looks confused but then orders their execution. The Russians are shot.
EXT –OUTSIDE SAN ANGELO, TEXAS-/NIGHT
CHAS HOPPER kicked from the back of a pick-up . A THUG jumps out of the truck and and gives one last kick to the already beaten badly Chaz. Off the road is what looks like a used-car lot for old military vehicles. Chaz painfully moves to the locked gate of the compound: padlocked. He yells for help. Nothing, he is alone. He yells again, losing hope. In fury he tries breaking the lock. Too strong. Looking at the office door on the other side of the fence, he notices something move. There’s a man standing in front of the office now, dressed entirely in a white suit, not moving, no sound, just standing. “Hey, I need some help here!.” The padlock suddenly clicks open. Chas pushes through the gate his eyes on the figure in white. “I have a place for you, Chaz Hopper”, Says the white figure. The spectre slowly moves into the graveyard of broken military toys and as Chaz can’t do anything else he follows the creepy old guy, unable to see his face. Chaz is led to a particular old truck(a beat up Dodge Wc54 truck, circa 1942) and opens the driver’s side door for Chaz. “You need rest,’ says Gray. Chaz still can’t see the guy’s face but moves around and looks inside. Bad smelling thing but he could probably nap in there for a bit. Chaz doesn’t like it but could use some R and R right then. He catches sight of something chilling in the side view mirror: Looks like the guy in white has the face of a weird skull with glowing eyes. Chaz lets out a scream . . .

TRUCK INT – AFGHANISTAN CITY – DAY.
Chas awakens IN THE SCREAM. His left hand is cuffed to the steering wheel of the antique war surplus truck in familiar surroundings: Afghanistan? He reacts. Where is he? How’d he get here? He searches for a way to escape. No key to the cuffs. Tries to take off the steering wheel. Needs a wrench. GUNFIRE SOUNDS IN THE DISTANCE.

SARGEANT AMBROSE throws open the door and finds Chaz cuffed to the wheel.
Ambrose: What the hell you doin’ in my truck?
Chaz: I DON’T FUCKING KNOW!
Ambrose: Can You Drive?
Chaz: Ah-yeah . . .
Ambrose: You’re gonna drive!

Ambrose has Chaz drive the truck to a back entrance to a building. They wait. After hearing GUNFIRE, Ambrose says they have to go. There are several people trapped in the building but Ambrose gives up on them making it out alive. Chaz fights Ambrose to rescue the group in a building. Chaz backs the truck up to the door and is able to arrange the escape into the ambulance of JAMES HOWARD, PVT. DIANE SIKOWSKI, RAFI SAWRIZ, LELA MUHAMMED, and her baby Child, into the Dodge ambulance. They haul ass as gunmen shower the vehicle in bullets.

Corporal Ambrose says the truck and the package has to get to Mosul in less than 24 hours. Chaz can’t be in Afghanistan again. He was in Texas before; is this hell? Fired upon and the truck is damaged.
INT – TEMP. ARMY GARAGE – DAY
Ambrose gets the truck to mechanic ERIC COUSINS. The Mechanic is shocked when opening the hood, he has a vision of WWII Japanese soldiers dragging him from a sweat box. He reacts as if it’s just a static electricity. He can’t find any damage and doesn’t believe this old truck could have withstood the ambush. Warns them they will not get to Mosul but as the enemy moves in on the station, he joins them on the trip. The enemy is taking the city. Eric throws some tools in the back and goes with them as head out town.
INT — TRUCK – DAY.
While alone in the garage, Sikowski sees a uniformed Nazi in the empty truck with her. He tries to speak but there is no sound from him. He vanishes. She shakes it off, she’s got to be hallucinating…but the word “die” is etched into the truck’s side. A “W” is being etched above it. She jumps from the back as everyone else is getting back in. As she has no choi9ce, she joins them in the vehicle. GUNFIRE ERUPTS NEARBY.
EXT – AFGHANISTAN CITY – DAY.
The tank is filled and some spare cans of gas are hurriedly loaded. The truck speeds towards escape, Cousins is knocked unconscious. He nightmares that he is in that sweat box again. There is no organic sound as he is dragged out and a sword swings toward his neck. Upon waking, he is relieved that it was just an illusion. Visibility has gone down to zero in blowing sand. Ambrose tells him to lift himself out and see if he can get their bearings. Sikowski volunteers but Cousins does it anyway. He sticks his head above the truck and a low hung radio wire contacts his neck. The Mechanic is decapitated.
There is mayhem inside the ambulance. Sikowski wants to recover the body, but Howard won’t have it. They berate Ambrose for his sacrificing Cousins. Howard takes command.
INT — TRUCK – DAY.
Ambrose is sitting across from a man dressed in a white suit. Chaz is no longer there. The driver’s side window opens and the cab is filled with foul, burning fumes. Ambrose literally starts falling apart. He stumbles into the back and finds himself unharmed.
INT – TRUCK – DAY
A discussion with Howard, Sikowski and Ambrose about what is going on, as driver Chaz listens in. The Afghan mother remains silent. The only thing certain for Ambrose is that he has to get Howard to Mosul with the crate in the back. James Howard is with a company called Blackwater, and demands they get him there ASAP. It seems best that they all stay awake.

INT – TRUCK – NIGHT.
Chaz drives on. SHOTS wake everyone in the back of the truck. One of the gasoline cans is leaking around someone’s boots.

Chaz wants to stop. Howard takes the weapon and demands they drive on. What can they do?

Ambrose looks around at the group in the back trying not to succumb to sleep. He sees the man in white again. Or thinks he does.

Howard is glancing around the shadows also. He sees a vision of Vlad Tsepes and has a nightmare of having his hat nailed to his head. He wakes yelling and everyone else startles. Ambrose wrests the gun from Howard. Gun fires and nails Howard through the skull, as in the hallucination.

Ambrose’s gas-soaked uniform is ignited and he, their presumed leader dies in fire.: Incineration.

Chaz needs a bathroom break. The survivors decide to drive until there is a place along the highway that they can pull over safely.

EXT. – DESERT – NIGHT.

Chaz sees the beings of the truck clawing onto the exterior of the truck. He sees the bloodied Howard and burnt Ambrose.

Truck runs over an IED, EXPLOSION.

INT – TRUCK – NIGHT
Sikowski is touched by Gray. She is in a room with the Nazi, Old and decaying. He puts the Luger in her mouth, but then gives her the luger. With broken bayonet he finishes the inscription on the truck wall: Wir sind die Holle. Zerstore UNS!. NAZI KILLS HIMSELF.
SIKOWSKI wakes up and the Afghan women translates from the German: We are Hell. Destroy US!

The survivors burn the Truck, regardless of the peril of no other transport to Mosul. The next morning, the truck is again road worthy and waiting for them. The last of them make it to Mosul . . .
Resolution: Under US Surveillance, the WAR Surplus vehicle is placed in the center of a Taliban stronghold. The Colonel interacts with one of the fighters, just as Chaz was.
Chaz awakens from a night out in Texas, battered and bruised but…strangely, alive.
Chaz is back in Texas (with young mother?) and the truck is being used by the US Government to continue the chaos.

[Timothy G Winters]

Time Winters’ MONSTER REVEAL TRACK.

What I’ve learned doing this assignment is that each of the pieces of an outline can add up to being able to define the story in a stronger way than improving all the way through. I am excited to see if I can fill in between the dots . . .

1. Create each part of this model:
A. Who is your monster and what is their terror?
• Powers? It eats the horrors of war. With fear and bloodshed it gets stronger. It contains the souls or spirits of those in the many battles it has experienced. And absorbed.
• Limitations? Humans have to be in contact with the truck to be affected by it.
• Weaknesses? It has a harder time manipulating innocence. But the damned thing can, with ease, corrupt anything within its proximity.
• Plan/Purpose/Appetite? The field of battle and a world devolving into chaos is the perfect feeding ground for this inauspicious Dodge Dc54 former ambulance.
B. Sequence the reveals.
Prologue: A group of Russian soldiers, when offered a ride back to their border, choose death rather than touch that infernal thing. They are shot.
During 1st Act: Chaz is led to the truck by Gray, and the reflection of Gray in the rearview mirror (is it even human?)
Chaz fights Ambrose to rescue the group trapped by Taliban in a building.
Mechanic Cousins has a vision when he first touched the truck: is it his own death?
Sikowski sees a uniformed Nazi in the empty truck with her.
Several catch sight of Colonel Gray in the ambulance with them, but then reflect that it was an illusion.
Act 1 Turning Point: He nightmares that he is in a medievel battle and is about to be beheaded. Upon waking, he sticks his head above the truck and a low hung radio wire contacts his neck. The Mechanic is decapitated.
2nd half of 2nd Act: Ambrose, their presumed leader dies in fire.
Chaz sees the beings in the truck clawing onto the exterior of the truck.
Act 3: The survivors decide to burn the Truck, regardless of the peril of no other transport to Mosul. The next morning, the truck is again road worthy and waiting for them.
Resolution:
Chaz is back in Texas (with young mother?) and the truck is being used by the US Government to continue the chaos.
2. Lay that over your current outline and fill in each clue/reveal using the tag “Monster Reveal:.”
2.
Prologue: A group of Russian soldiers, when offered a ride back to their border, choose death rather than touch that infernal thing. They are shot.

ACT 1 –SET UP FOR HORROR

Chas Hopper kicked from the back of a pick-up in the middle of the night and in no-where Texas and beaten badly by thugs. MONSTER REVEAL: Chas crawls to Office of Surplus Vehicles lot and meets spectre Colonel Gray. Chaz is led to the truck by Gray, and the reflection of Gray in the rearview mirror (is it even human?) Chas sees Monster and wants to run but is unable.
Chaz gets into truck.

Chas awakens handcuffed to the steering column of the antique war surplus truck in fucking Afghanistan and the war is still going on. Private Ambrose says the truck they are driving has to get to Mosul in less than 24 hours.
Chaz fights Ambrose to rescue the group trapped by Taliban in a building.

Chaz and Ambrose rescue Sikowski, Howard, and a young mother and her baby from Taliban.
Ambrose goes in, guns blazing.
Chaz is getaway driver, waiting in the open. No keys for the others. Fired upon and the truck is damaged.
Ambrose gets the truck to mechanic Cousins. MONSTER REVEAL: Mechanic Cousins has a vision when he first touched the truck: is it his own death?
Sikowski sees a uniformed Nazi in the empty truck with her.
MONSTER REVEAL:Cousins can’t find any damage to the truck. Warns them they will not get to Mosul but as the enemy moves in on the station, he joins them on the trip.
MONSTER REVEAL:Cousins the mechanic nightmares that he is in a medievel battle and is about to be beheaded. Upon waking, he sticks his head above the truck and a low hung radio wire contacts his neck. The Mechanic is decapitated.
All have come into contact with Colonel Gray. Gray communicates with each of them.
Ambrose is touched by Gray and imagines an atomic inferno. Ambrose’s gas-soaked uniform is ignited and he, their presumed leader dies in fire.: Incineration.
Why: Profound Hawk. Dismissive of self-immolation. Has image of atomic blast, but finds the liquid dripping on him is gas. . .

After dark, Chaz sees the beings of the truck clawing onto the exterior of the truck. For fear of improvised bombs and Avoiding Taliban ambush, and a possible IED, SENDS THE TRUCK INTO AN IED EXPLOSION.

James Howard, Blackwater war profiteer, now sees himself as the leader and promises rescue. MONSTER REVEAL: He sees a vision of Vlad Tsepes and has a nightmare of having his hat nailed to his head. He wakes and is Killed by enemy bullet.

Act 3: The survivors decide to burn the Truck, regardless of the peril of no other transport to Mosul. The next morning, the truck is again road worthy and waiting for them. The last of them make it to Mosul . . .
Resolution: Under US Surveillance, the WAR Surplus vehicle is placed in the center of a Taliban stronghold. The Colonel interacts with one of the fighters, just as Chaz was.
Chaz awakens from a night out in Texas, battered and bruised but…strangely, alive.
Chaz is back in Texas (with young mother?) and the truck is being used by the US Government to continue the chaos.

[Timothy G Winters]

TIME WINTERS’ HORROR PLOT

“What I learned doing this assignment is outline is an interesting way to fill in a plot before knowing the specifics as yet unwritten. Reassuring, a bit, to trust that things can be altered and bettered down the line.

ACT 1 –SET UP FOR HORROR
Atmosphere of Evil Established: Chas Hopper kicked from the back of a pick-up in the middle of the night and in no-where Texas and beaten badly by thugs. Chas crawls to Office of Surplus Vehicles lot and meets spectre Colonel Gray.

Connect with the Characters: Chas awakens handcuffed to the steering column of an antique war surplus truck. The rest of the crew is also waking with various understandings of how they got there.

Characters warned not to do it: They are being prepared for the mission across Afghanistan. Machanic thinks they are crazy to go.

Denial of Horror: No one admitting how they came there. All want to be be where they were before. Decision to go, with the hope that it will free them.

Safety taken away: The Afghan war is still happening and they are now driving straight into it.

Monster: Nature of the Beast: All have come into contact with Colonel Gray, who is responsible for this. Gray communicates with one of them.

ACT 2- THE POINT OF NO RETURN

Isolated/trapped/ Abducted: It is clear that this drive is no picnic. In fact, the natives are trying to kill them. They are on their own.

One is killed: One tries to accomplish the Colonel’s first order. They fail to finish the task and that commandee dies violently in front of the others.

MIDPOINT: The Monster is worse than we thought.

Full pursuit by the killer: Two others are separately ordered by the ghostly Colonel on impossible tasks that conflict with the other.

Terrorized: Who will act first? What if they don’t fulfil their mission?

ACT 3—FULL OUT HORROR

Fight to the Death: Avoiding Taliban ambush, and a possible IED, SENDS THE TRUCK INTO AN IED EXPLOSION.

Hysteria: Right the truck, get it repaired. Hit the road for Mosul.

Escape from Death: On the race to the completion of the delivery of the truck, each meets the colonel and their final come-uppance with not fulfilling his orders.

Resolution: Under US Surveillance, the WAR Surplus vehicle is placed in the center of a Taliban stronghold. The Colonel interacts with one of the fighters, just as Chaz was.
Chaz awakens from a night out in Texas, battered and bruised but…strangely, alive.

• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  Timothy G Winters.

[Timothy G Winters]

Horror Day 3: Characters for Horror

4. What I learned doing this assignment is that I feel at least as much fear as my “rag-tag band of misfits” in being able to put these pieces together and not imaginative enough to finish it. I don’t care for the horror film formula but appreciate it’s specificity. I learned it might much easier to create an empty killing machine (Art the Clown, Michael Meyers, Jason Vorhees) than a functional character (Jigsaw, Freddy Kreuger etc.).

!. A Rag-tag group of young warriors are gifted the cushy mission of driving a secret weapon across war-ravaged Afghanistan in a truck that happens to be haunted.

2. Dying pattern: I’m thinking one up front and two later on.

3. A) A confused loner, hungover from the night before and not sure why he has been chosen for this job.
B) An suspect Afghani translater
C) Private Ambrose: a by-the-book officer in training, looking forward to getting into Officer Training after this fubar assignment is completed.
D) Private Sikowski. A female who showed up with Ambrose and wants to get back home in one piece.
E) British Army Mechanic Eric Cousins, who thinks he’s getting to Mosul on a free ride.
F) James Howard, says he works for the US government and sees himself as the leader of the mission.

• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  Timothy G Winters.

[Timothy G Winters]

Horror Day 2
What I learned : I have my work cut out for me. It feels like a mountainous glacier is heading my way. . .

1. So far, a run of the mill ghost. Colonel Gorham Gray. British Expeditionary Force (BEF), a causualty of the Second World War.

2. Their Terror: Condemned to an eternity of War and decimation, he is an entity that demands his words be carried out to the Nth degree. What humanity and empathy he might have once possessed has dwindled to a devious ruthlessness. And really, everyone in his path is the enemy now.

His Mystery: why he continues to wreak havoc and death on those he encounters and his habitation of the truck to which he is figuratively (and possibly even literally) chained.

Appearance: I suspect he is sometimes seen with a molding, shattered, rather lupine gas mask. When he gets into your brain, he also can appear as others with whom the victim has yet to complete their business.

Rules: If he touches you, you will not only die, but you will see how it will happen, however and whenever it may be coming.

Mythology: Haven’t a clue. I doubt a medal is coming his way . . .

3. As mentioned above, I have my work cut out for me. It feels like a mountainous glacier is heading my way. . .

[Timothy G Winters]

Horror Day 1

What I learned doing this assignment is that I still love Horror genre, even when it is only so-so. Looks like there are patterns I can learn from and with this class am taking a trust drop—so far.

1. SPIRAL. 1998. Not sure if it matches your model, but I had recorded it and been wanting to watch it.
2. Title / Concept: SPIRAL/ A doctor dies a week after watching a video tape that is cursed. (Sound familiar? I thought so, too. Turns out the film is the twin feature of RINGU (THE RING).
Terrorize The Characters: A PATHOLOGIST-FATHER IS GRIEVING THE LOSS OF HIS SON. This cursed video tape is out there or a cursed diary that can also kill a week after being watched/read. Sadako, the persistent demon who was wrongly killed starts showing up in mirror reflections and in person.
Isolation: A group of friends in a large cold Tokyo. Not really isolated but I didn’t question other people weren’t around.
Death: A week after watching the tape, 4 people died simultaneously of heart attack due to a tumor in their hearts, two strangled.
Monster/Villain: The cursed video tape, the curser Sadako who wants revenge for being thrown down a well and killed.
High Tension: those who watch the tape can count on dying in a week if they can’t get someone else to watch it. The demon can materialize at any moment and usually in dark rooms.
Departure from Reality: A cursed video tape.
Moral Statement: Most people aren’t believers, leaving them open to curses and demons. Don’t throw people down wells, they may come back as angry demons
3. This film doesn’t stick with the myth as closely as the Ring did, so it got a bit confusing, but a pretty cool concept.
4. Concept: 5 young US soldiers must get a haunted war surplus truck across Afghanistan during war believing it carries a secret weapon.
Terrorize The Characters: Each man tortured by his greatest fears or loves.
Isolation: Young soldiers in Afghanistan’s desert terrain during wartime. No one speaks their language.

Death: certainly, unknown as yet.
Monster/Villain: An undead power-mad colonel. The truck maybe the secret weapon.
High Tension: Both the transport truck and seemingly everyone all around them are trying to kill them.
Departure from Reality: Haunted truck, materialized dead who are deeply pissed-off.
Moral Statement: War is inhumane hell. It is insanity.
5. See above.

[Timothy G Winters]

Time Winters is my name, sideways for Timothy. Written four scripts and some shorts. Interested in working on those stories and improving. I love the horror genre and am generally intimidated by the good ones. Been working endlessly on a long form novel about actor Boris (Frankenstein’s Creature) Karloff. Hope to learn.

[Timothy G Winters]

Time Winters.
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