Tina Steffan
Forum Replies Created
-
Tina’s Deeper Layer!
My Vision: My writing enables me to live an exuberantly creative and productive life in prosperity.
ARGUS’ EYES
A teenage girl has her disfigured face reconstructed at a beauty clinic in the Black Forest, only to discover that her new face is just a mask and she is now the livestock for a blind demon who has stolen her eyes for himself.
Surface Layer: It is what we think the story is about during the 1st Act.
Growing up in the foster system until her 16th birthday Val is finally asked by her grandmother to live with her in the black forest in Germany. Val just agrees to come to rob her grandmother, because she sent Val away as a baby.
– She sent Val an amulette that protects her by mutilating everyone who tries to attack Val and that leads her to her grandmother.
Deeper Layer: When revealed, it gives us a whole new take on what is really happening.
Val’s grandmother is possesed by a demon who lured Val to the Black Forest to take revenge on the descendants of the witch who cursed him while he burned her on the same spot 400 years ago. Val’s parents got killed protecting her and the grandmother’s only chance to save Val as a baby was to sent her far away from this cursed place.
— he took her eye when she was a baby.
Major Reveal: It gets revealed in a dramatic way at a key moment.
MIDPOINT (later?) – Val sees the demon with all the eyes he stole from the clinic patients and from herself. Both her eyes are gauged out by the demon, her face is just a perfect mask. And her grandmother is possessed acting for the demon.
Influences Surface Story: Because this deeper layer always exists, it has an impact on the surface story – even if we don’t understand why. Some decisions, actions, or reactions are based upon that deeper layer.
The grandmother behaves irrational, sweet than hostile towards Val.
Everyone after the ‘Facial’ is tired. Patients have weird black out, times where they can’t remember what they did.
Hints: There are moments when the deeper layer peaks through the curtain to reveal itself. We don’t see it because we have fully bought into the surface story.
The grandmother cries one tear of blood – because in reality her eyes are gauged out and bloody.
Agatha tries to leave but then seems to forget, never leaving the premises.
Beyond the obviously magic amulet the place seems normal and pleassant.
Changes Reality: When the deeper layer is revealed, we see the story in a completely different way. The real story is finally clear to us.
– Val’s grandmother tried to protect her by keeping her away
-
Tina’s Character Structure
My Vision: My writing enables me to live an exuberantly creative and productive life in prosperity.
ARGUS’ EYES
A teenage girl has her disfigured face reconstructed at a beauty clinic in the Black Forest, only to discover that her new face is just a mask and she is now the livestock for a blind demon who has stolen her eyes for himself.
Role: Valentina Flemmin
Beginning: Val in the youth detention center. Her sixteenth birthday. she gets a present from her estranged grandma, a necklace for protection.
Inciting Incident: Val gets attacked by a guard, the necklace mutilates the guard.
Turning Point 1: Val in counselling, another freak accident. Val has to flee or she will be blamed for the death of her counsellor.
Act 2: At the beauty clinic her grandmother locks her in instead of welcoming her.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: TWIST Val finds the glasses her mother left for her. She can see the eyes and the demon. val sees it’s not her grandmother. Her grandmother is under his spell.
Act 3: Before Val can do anything she gets a facial and is also under the demon’s influence. Her friend Susie arrrives.
Turning Point 3:
Her gandmother drinks poison to make the demon feed on her and die with her but it fails.
Act 4 Climax: Val accesses the blood well where she can lift the spell and rip off her mask. Without it she is blind, both her eyes gauged out. But with her mother’s glasses she can see.
Resolution: The demon feeds on the patients. Val sprays them with blood from the well, thes get free from the masks. With their powers returning together they can force the demon to return their eyes.
Role: Agatha Flemmin – Val’s grandma
Beginning: When Val was born she protected her from the demon but he could take on of her eyes. So Agatha send the baby into an orphanage far away.
Inciting Incident: Agatha can’t flee and the demon takes her as his livestock to feed on her.
Turning Point 1: Val arrives to join her, the demon lured her here. Agatha tries to scare her away again to protect her.
Act 2: Agatha tries to leave the clinic to get help but the demon feeds in her and almost kills her.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: To save Val from getting a facial Agatha drinks poison to kill the demon but fails
Act 3: Agatha tells Val the truth about it all, she is unable to help now.
Turning Point 3:
Act 4 Climax:
Resolution:
Agatha can take the demons form before her body dies.
Role: Demon
Beginning: the executioner in witch trial in 1600 in the black forest.
Inciting Incident: He binds a witch (flemmin) to burn, but befores she dies she curses him and pokes his eyes out. He dies with her in the flames.
Turning Point 1: He comes back to life In the ashes and blood of the killed witches. But he needs witches lifeforece and their eyes to come to power.
Act 2: In 2008 he gets hold of baby Val, kill her parents (Flemmin) and takes her eye but before he can do more the grandmother saves her. He takes the grandmother as his livestock.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: He build a beauty clinic to provide him with livestock. Now Val turns 16 he lures her into the clinic to finally feed on her.
Act 3: Val get a facial, he feeds on her and becomes more powerful. He locks down the clinic to be in total control.
Turning Point 3: the grandmother tries to poison him bit he sees through val what she’s doing and lets her die.
Act 4 Climax: the blood from the well returns the powers of the witches to all patients. his eyes return to them and he is blind unable to fight.
Resolution: he dies
-
Tina’s Supporting Characters
My Vision: My writing enables me to live an exuberantly creative and productive life in prosperity.
ARGUS’ EYES
A teenage girl has her disfigured face reconstructed at a beauty clinic in the Black Forest, only to discover that her new face is just a mask and she is now the livestock for a blind demon who has stolen her eyes for himself.
Supporting Characters:
Name: Luzi
Role: Val’s friend from the orphanage
Main purpose: Comes to the clinic as outsider, believes the crazy stories, that Val sees the gauged out eyes. / In the orphanage Luzi is the only one Val doesn’t see as a threat, still she steals from her.
Value: Her trust in Val brings Val to start believing that maybe it’s not everyone for themselves, that friends and family can support each other
Name:
Role:Guard
Main purpose: He tries to hurt Val to show her he’s in charge. Then his hands get cut off in a freak accident.
Value: We see Val has no fear even the consequences of her sassy mouth are brutal. Then the power of her amulet she gto from her grandmother, it protects her by mutilating Val’s attackers – instant Karma.
Name:
Role: Facility director
Main purpose: The bureaucratic side of things can be as brutal as the actions of an evil person. When he blocks Val’s way out, her independence, he gets killed in a freak accident.
Value: We know that he can do anything to Val until she is 18. When he dies Val is a the point of no return, she will be bamed for the accidents and end up in prison.
Name:
Role: Bike group in the black forest
Main purpose: they start harassing Val but stop when they see the amulet.
Value: We know here the rules have changed, people won’t try to hurt her because they know what will happen.
Background Characters:
Name:
Role: The clinic patients
Main purpose: They suffer from the false face and the demon feeding on them. They all display various forms of exhaustion, irratic behaviour
Value: We see the consequences of the demon, yet no one knows that anything is wrong. It’s just normal to be tired and crying.
-
Tina’s Character Profiles Part 2
My Vision: My writing enables me to live an exuberantly creative and productive life in prosperity.
ARGUS’ EYES
A teenage girl has her disfigured face reconstructed at a beauty clinic in the Black Forest, only to discover that her new face is just a mask and she is now the livestock for a blind demon who has stolen her eyes for himself.
—————————————————————–
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Character: Valentina Flemmin, 16 year old runaway, one-eyed
Logline: Valentina has her disfigured face reconstructed at a beauty clinic run by her estranged grandma, only to discover that her new face is just a mask and she is now the livestock for a blind demon who has stolen her eye for himself.
A. The High Concept.
Val must find a way to escape the demon who is holding her captive under a false mask to control her and feed on her.
B. This character’s journey.
Val goes from hostile loner to sacrificing herself for her new found family.
C. The Actor Attractors for this character.
What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
A raw and unsocial behaviour because she had to fight for herself since early childhood combined with unconditional empathy for the ones that need her help.
What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
-she steals from friends and foes alike, it’s her means of survival and hard to quit.
-manipulated by psychologists her whole life she can play the game better than anyone
What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?
she doesn’t trust the norm because the system betrayed her
Her unsocial behavior leads her to uncovering the demon
– she lives off the grid, can’t be confined and always choses to make her own path. takes the window instead of the door, eats in a tree, sits on the ground or on the table, sleeps under the bed, her bag is always packed,
She blames her missing eye for all the rejection she experienced. So when she gets a ‘normal’ face she clings to the hope that now her life will change. But to really change she has to trust her grandmother and disfigure her face even more to save them and find where she belongs.
How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
She stays cool when her attacker gets mutilated and then let’s Ayla clean the blood off of her to have a loving moment in the midst of total gore and violence.
What could be this character’s emotional range?
From cold and distant when facing people dying or struggling to absolute self sacrifice and violence when protecting her friend Ayla.
What subtext can the actor play?
On the outside she’s cool, inside she’s screaming of pain and rage.
What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?
– Val distrusts her grandma Agatha but choses to ‘play family’ with her to just have the experience even if it’s fake. She copies poses from other people’s family photos.
– Val only trusts one person and that is Ayla, her friend from the orphanage. Val can be cold an even cruel to others, but with Ayla she’s loving and over protective.
How will this character’s unique voice be presented?
Val doesn’t seem to let anything that is done to her upset her. She has brutal comebacks that reflect her dislike for everyone around her and ,after being under the supervision of therapists all her life, she knows exactly which buttons to push to make people explode.
What could make this character special and unique?
Val’s reactions and actions are either ice cold or scorching hot.
3. Brainstorm the first 6 parts of the profile for each of your lead characters.
Role: Valentina has her disfigured face reconstructed at a beauty clinic run by her estranged grandma, only to discover that her new face is just a mask and she is now the livestock for a blind demon who has stolen her eye for himself.
Age range and Description:
Val, 16 and a handful. An eyepatch covers a crude cavaty that once was her left eye and that she lost as a baby.
Core Traits: loud loner, alienates others, secretly helps – hard shell-soft core
Fears (Primal fears): losing her sight – loss of independence
Likability / Rooting factors: bad ass
How they react under stress: take care of it, solve it, doesnt rely on others,
Relationship with other characters: distant, unfamiliar with affection, just let’s it happen, frozen when Luzi washes her
Motivation; Want/Need:
Want: independence “everyone fights for themselves”
Needs: finding a home and family – when she found it she wont let the demon destroy it
Unspoken Wound: Val lost her eye and her parents as a baby and was given into the foster system where she was abused.
Likability: She cares for her friend, doesn’t back down from bullies even though she has to pay the price, Her friend loves her and cares for her deeply
Relatability: She’s left alone, depends on herself to survive,
Empathy: She is locked up and abused, her family rejected her
——
7. Character Subtext:
Every woman for herself, thieving, suspicious
-Pretends to be the loving granddaughter while robbing her grandmother and secretly disobeying her rules
-Get out of the foster system by stealing form her estranged grandmother.
8. Character Intrigue:
Hiding: Val hides that she can see the the gauged out eyes with her mother’s glasses and knows of the demon.
Conspiracy: Val and Luzi
Deception: Uses Luzi to find the demon.
9. Flaw:
Mistrusts everyone
has a death wish (she hides from herself)
thinks she is not supposed to be in this world because her family didn’t want her
10. Values:
an eye for an eye
her life is easily given to safe others
independence
11. Character Dilemma:
to save herself she has to condemn all others to
Possible Areas of Subtext:
hides her true agenda from Agatha
uses Luzi to trap the demon
Val sneaks around and finds a box from her parent that was ‘discarded’ by Agatha.
Val agrees to stay with Agatha but steals everything of value and tries to leave (the demon stops her).
When Agatha tells her not to disturb patients after the facial that’s what she does.
She follows Agatha and sees her drinking something in secret (to poison the demon).
Val is too suspisious of everyone that she can’t see Agatha is trying to protect her, questions every word she is told.
—————————————————————–
—————————————————————–
Character: Agatha Flemmin, 58. Valentina’s grandmother
Logline: Agatha is forced by Argus to run a beauty clinic that provides him with human livestock so he can feed on female powers and use their eyes as his own.
Unique: Under her false face Agatha is in constant terror.
A. The High Concept
Agatha is controlled by the demon who feeds on her and her only way to save Val from the same fate is to poison herself to kill him.
B. This character’s journey.
Agatha goes from thinking she has to alienate Val to save her to accepting help and trusting her granddaughters powers.
— Agatha dies but can take the demons place and continue to watch over Val.
She’s the gate keeper – “It is what you make of it.”
C. The Actor Attractors for this character.
What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
Agatha is a 55 year old woman terrorized by a demon since 16 years who feeds on her power.
What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
Her inner fight to break free from his spell makes her the most tormented character. She
What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?
How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
Agatha watches Val get injured without helping her. She welcomes her into the clinic with a big smile while a tear of blood runs down her perfect face.
What could be this character’s emotional range
From perfect host to hateful and desperate avenger.
What subtext can the actor play?
Agatha is in a constant war against the demon’s oppression. Whenever the demon’s powers weaken, she tries to sabotage its influence and save her granddaughter Valentina. This makes her behavior seem irrational and crazy.
What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?
Agatha sent Val away as a baby to get her out of the demon’s reach. She pretends to not want her to keep her away.
How will this character’s unique voice be presented?
Agatha’s contradictive behaviour from over sweet to hostile to fearless warrior makes her unpredictable.
What could make this character special and unique?
Agatha’s contradictive behaviour from over sweet to hostile to fearless warrior makes her unpredictable.
3. Brainstorm the first 6 parts of the profile for each of your lead characters.
Role in the Story:
Agatha is forced by Argus to run a beauty clinic that provides him with human livestock so he can feed on female powers and use their eyes as his own.
Age range and Description: Agatha in her fifties. As the manager of the clinic she wears immaculate clothes but on the inside, the part not controlled by the demon, she is an eccentric old witch not giving a damn what others think of her.
Fears: losing her granddaughter to the demon, never seeing another sunrise with her own eyes
Core Traits: crazy old witch / caring, fixer, alienates people
Likability / Rooting factors: crazy and free, forces into shape
How they react under stress: like a manic robot, chaotic and
Relationship with other characters: the manager, the tough love matiriarch, cold when cutting her losses
“Gone. Let’s continue.”
Motivation; Want/Need:
Wants save Val and get rid of the demon at the cost of her own life
Needs: to trust Valentina and accept her help, even if that puts Val into more danger
Unspoken Wound: She lost her daughter to the demon and had to sent val away as a baby to keep her safe. She is constantly tortured by the demon.
Likability: She puts herself in harms way to protect Val, She hides the demon to get Val out, pretends to dislike Val to get her away
Relatability: doesn’t give up, will always defend herself even if it seem hopeless,
Empathy: She suffers from the torment of the demon, has no way of escape,
——
7. Character Subtext:
Agatha hides the secret of the clinic (the demon) from Val to protect her, she pretends to want Val out of her life, but when she’s possed by the demon she lures Val back in.
Agatha suffers under the demon’s posession but hides its existence from Val and tries to get rid of her to protect her.
Unique: Under her false face Agatha is in constant terror.
Secret Identity: She’s a powerful witch but has to hide all her abilities or the demon would kill her like her daughter.
8. Character Intrigue:
Hidden Agenda: Get Val out of the clinic to protect her.
Conspiracy: She tries to poison the demon by poisoning herself, when he feeds on her he will die with her.
Secret: She knows all about the demon but can’t tell anyone because he would instantly know (he uses her eyes) and destroy everyone.
Deception: The nice granny welcoming her lost granddaughter. She covers her sometimes crazy behaviour and pain up so Val doesn’t learn the truth about the clinic, to protect her.
Unspoken Wound: She lost her daughter to the demon and had to sent val away as a baby to keep her safe. She is constantly tortured by the demon.
9. Flaw:
The estranged grandmother, alternately affectionate and evil, making her appear crazy.
Subtext Trait: scheming, protective
10. Values:
family above all, even if that means hurting the ones you love to protect them
11. Character Dilemma:
Agatha has to hurt Valentina to make her go away, to protect her from the demon
3. Give us an idea of how that character’s subtext might show up in your movie.
Agatha smile but cries bloody tears under her mask. She wears a sleeping mask and pretends to sleep walk so she can do hidden things the demon can’t see. She’s horrible to Val in the hope she’ll get out of the cinic before it’s too late.
Agatha doesn’t help Val when she is injured because se wants her to leave.
Is warm and welcoming but cries tears of blood (her inside screaming).
Assigns Val the ‘broom closet’ to sleep in, because it’s the only space in the clinic Agatha could hide from the demon with a spell.
Is cruel to Val when she is herself to make Val hate her and drive Val away. / Is charming when controlled by the demon to keep Val in the clinic to feed on her.
Invites Val’s friend Luzi to help her fight the demon./Agatha/demon kills the phone lines after Val called Ayla.
Agatha sends Val the amulet which seemingly protects her but is just a way of keeping Val save until she is ready for harvest by the demon.
—————————————————————–
—————————————————————–
Character: Argus, blind demon, spawn of a former witch executioner
Logline: Argus traps women under a false face to feed on their powers and steal their eyes for himself, taking revenge on the ancestors of the witch who blinded him when he was still human, Val and Agatha.
Unique: Argus wears a dozen eyes that he ripped out from women, so that he can see everything they see, and force them to act as his puppets.
A. The High Concept.
A demon who steals the eyes of withes to control them and feed of them
B. This character’s journey.
From invincible and master of the clinic to frightened and erratic
C. The Actor Attractors for this character.
ARGUS / Demon born from a with executioner
Role: Antagonist
What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
A new monster with the power and eyes of his ‘prisoners’. Tormented by the pain that a witch took his eyes and now haunting her ancestors to find peace in revenge.
What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
Not vivibly present he is there all the time and controlling and protecting his live stock.
What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?
He takes their eyes for his own, his body covered in eyes.
How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
He appears in a group, everyone frozen with shock while he feeds on their powers. But when he leaves nobody can remember what happened, they just feel exhausted somehow.
What could be this character’s emotional range
He is flirty when in control and deadly when threatened, killing his life stock (the patients) and so harming himself.
What subtext can the actor play?
Underneath all is a desire to be seen. The witches got their memorial, he got killed on the job and got nothing.
What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?
The demon is obsessed with Val because she is the one that got away, he only took one of her eyes.
How will this character’s unique voice be presented?
The demon is non verbal. He depends on the witches powers and sucks it out, but he is a gourmet, nothing tastes as good as the Flemmin family.
What could make this character special and unique?
His body covered with the eyes he took. With them he can see what they are seeing. He can make everyone who sees him forget him. He sees all. His ‘livestock’ sees nothing.
3. Brainstorm the first 6 parts of the profile for each of your lead characters.
Role in the Story: Argus traps women under a false face to feed on their powers and steal their eyes for himself, taking revenge on the ancestors of the witch who blinded him when he was still human, Val and Agatha.
Argus traps women under a false face to feed on their powers and steal their eyes for himself, taking revenge on the ancestors of the witch who blinded him when he was still human, Val and Agatha.
Age range and Description:
30 year old witches executioner when he was still alive in the 1600. Then a demon resurrected form the blod of the ones he killed with dozens of eyes in his body that he stole from his victims.
Core Traits:
brutal, invisible, controlling
Motivation; Want/Need:
Wants to revenge his suffering by making the witches descendants his livestock
needs to get more power so they can’s destroy hm again.
Wound: He got his eyes stolen by a witch and then burned with her in her fire.
Demon ‘Argus’:
Likability: x
Relatability: He is blind without the witches’ eyes
Empathy: He suffered, when he killed the witches one stole his eyes and killed him, the only way out for him is to feed on the witches to come to power
Intrigue: He is omnipresent without ever being remembered, we see his effects but not himself
—
7. Character Subtext:
Unique: Argus wears a dozen eyes that he ripped out from women, so that he can see everything they see, and force them to act as his puppets.
8. Character Intrigue:
Hidden Agenda: His whole existence is hidden, they see heim when he’s feeding on them bit instantly forget he ever existed when he is out of sight.
He feeds from the woman to gather enough strength to take over the world.
Competition: The Flemmin’s are his arch enemies, the acestors of the one who blinded him.
Secret: he is the secret
Deception: He uses Agatha to act on his behalf, lure Val in and bring him more livestock to feed on.
Unspoken Wound: He was the witch executioner 400 years ago. A witch, Martha Flemmin, cursed him while she was tortured. He lost his eyes and died in the fire with her.
Secret Identity: The killer of Val’s parents.
9. Flaw:
He is blind without the stlen eyes.
He is obsessed with killing the descendents of the witch who blinded him and killed him
10. Values:
He wants revenge, an eye for an eye
power
11. Character Dilemma:
when he kills someone he loses their eyes and can’t feed on them anymore
3. Give us an idea of how that character’s subtext might show up in your movie.
The patients don’t realize he is the cause for their fatigue and pain. He is always present bit never seen. Always felt but never in the conscious awareness of the patients he uses as livestock.
-
Tina’s Character Profiles Part 1
My Vision: My writing enables me to live an exuberantly creative and productive life in prosperity.
ARGUS’ EYES
A teenage girl has her disfigured face reconstructed at a beauty clinic in the Black Forest, only to discover that her new face is just a mask and she is now the livestock for a blind demon who has stolen her eyes for himself.
—————————————————————–
—————————————————————–
Character: Valentina Flemmin, 16 year old runaway, one-eyed
Logline: Valentina has her disfigured face reconstructed at a beauty clinic run by her estranged grandma, only to discover that her new face is just a mask and she is now the livestock for a blind demon who has stolen her eye for himself.
A. The High Concept.
Val must find a way to escape the demon who is holding her captive under a false mask to control her and feed on her.
B. This character’s journey.
Val goes from hostile loner to sacrificing herself for her new found family.
C. The Actor Attractors for this character.
What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
A raw and unsocial behaviour because she had to fight for herself since early childhood combined with unconditional empathy for the ones that need her help.
What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
-she steals from friends and foes alike, it’s her means of survival and hard to quit.
-manipulated by psychologists her whole life she can play the game better than anyone
What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?
she doesn’t trust the norm because the system betrayed her
Her unsocial behavior leads her to uncovering the demon
– she lives off the grid, can’t be confined and always choses to make her own path. takes the window instead of the door, eats in a tree, sits on the ground or on the table, sleeps under the bed, her bag is always packed,
She blames her missing eye for all the rejection she experienced. So when she gets a ‘normal’ face she clings to the hope that now her life will change. But to really change she has to trust her grandmother and disfigure her face even more to save them and find where she belongs.
How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
She stays cool when her attacker gets mutilated and then let’s Ayla clean the blood off of her to have a loving moment in the midst of total gore and violence.
What could be this character’s emotional range?
From cold and distant when facing people dying or struggling to absolute self sacrifice and violence when protecting her friend Ayla.
What subtext can the actor play?
On the outside she’s cool, inside she’s screaming of pain and rage.
What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?
– Val distrusts her grandma Agatha but choses to ‘play family’ with her to just have the experience even if it’s fake. She copies poses from other people’s family photos.
– Val only trusts one person and that is Ayla, her friend from the orphanage. Val can be cold an even cruel to others, but with Ayla she’s loving and over protective.
How will this character’s unique voice be presented?
Val doesn’t seem to let anything that is done to her upset her. She has brutal comebacks that reflect her dislike for everyone around her and ,after being under the supervision of therapists all her life, she knows exactly which buttons to push to make people explode.
What could make this character special and unique?
Val’s reactions and actions are either ice cold or scorching hot.
3. Brainstorm the first 6 parts of the profile for each of your lead characters.
Role: Valentina has her disfigured face reconstructed at a beauty clinic run by her estranged grandma, only to discover that her new face is just a mask and she is now the livestock for a blind demon who has stolen her eye for himself.
Age range and Description:
Val, 16 and a handful. An eyepatch covers a crude cavaty that once was her left eye and that she lost as a baby.
Core Traits: loud loner, alienates others, secretly helps – hard shell-soft core
Fears (Primal fears): losing her sight – loss of independence
Likability / Rooting factors: bad ass
How they react under stress: take care of it, solve it, doesnt rely on others,
Relationship with other characters: distant, unfamiliar with affection, just let’s it happen, frozen when Luzi washes her
Motivation; Want/Need:
Want: independence “everyone fights for themselves”
Needs: finding a home and family – when she found it she wont let the demon destroy it
Unspoken Wound: Val lost her eye and her parents as a baby and was given into the foster system where she was abused.
Likability: She cares for her friend, doesn’t back down from bullies even though she has to pay the price, Her friend loves her and cares for her deeply
Relatability: She’s left alone, depends on herself to survive,
Empathy: She is locked up and abused, her family rejected her
—————————————————————–
—————————————————————–
Character: Agatha Flemmin, 58. Valentina’s grandmother
Logline: Agatha is forced by Argus to run a beauty clinic that provides him with human livestock so he can feed on female powers and use their eyes as his own.
Unique: Under her false face Agatha is in constant terror.
A. The High Concept
Agatha is controlled by the demon who feeds on her and her only way to save Val from the same fate is to poison herself to kill him.
B. This character’s journey.
Agatha goes from thinking she has to alienate Val to save her to accepting help and trusting her granddaughters powers.
— Agatha dies but can take the demons place and continue to watch over Val.
She’s the gate keeper – “It is what you make of it.”
C. The Actor Attractors for this character.
What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
Agatha is a 55 year old woman terrorized by a demon since 16 years who feeds on her power.
What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
Her inner fight to break free from his spell makes her the most tormented character. She
What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?
How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
Agatha watches Val get injured without helping her. She welcomes her into the clinic with a big smile while a tear of blood runs down her perfect face.
What could be this character’s emotional range
From perfect host to hateful and desperate avenger.
What subtext can the actor play?
Agatha is in a constant war against the demon’s oppression. Whenever the demon’s powers weaken, she tries to sabotage its influence and save her granddaughter Valentina. This makes her behavior seem irrational and crazy.
What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?
Agatha sent Val away as a baby to get her out of the demon’s reach. She pretends to not want her to keep her away.
How will this character’s unique voice be presented?
Agatha’s contradictive behaviour from over sweet to hostile to fearless warrior makes her unpredictable.
What could make this character special and unique?
Agatha’s contradictive behaviour from over sweet to hostile to fearless warrior makes her unpredictable.
3. Brainstorm the first 6 parts of the profile for each of your lead characters.
Role in the Story:
Agatha is forced by Argus to run a beauty clinic that provides him with human livestock so he can feed on female powers and use their eyes as his own.
Age range and Description: Agatha in her fifties. As the manager of the clinic she wears immaculate clothes but on the inside, the part not controlled by the demon, she is an eccentric old witch not giving a damn what others think of her.
Fears: losing her granddaughter to the demon, never seeing another sunrise with her own eyes
Core Traits: crazy old witch / caring, fixer, alienates people
Likability / Rooting factors: crazy and free, forces into shape
How they react under stress: like a manic robot, chaotic and
Relationship with other characters: the manager, the tough love matiriarch, cold when cutting her losses
“Gone. Let’s continue.”
Motivation; Want/Need:
Wants save Val and get rid of the demon at the cost of her own life
Needs: to trust Valentina and accept her help, even if that puts Val into more danger
Unspoken Wound: She lost her daughter to the demon and had to sent val away as a baby to keep her safe. She is constantly tortured by the demon.
Likability: She puts herself in harms way to protect Val, She hides the demon to get Val out, pretends to dislike Val to get her away
Relatability: doesn’t give up, will always defend herself even if it seem hopeless,
Empathy: She suffers from the torment of the demon, has no way of escape,
—————————————————————–
—————————————————————–
Character: Argus, blind demon, spawn of a former witch executioner
Logline: Argus traps women under a false face to feed on their powers and steal their eyes for himself, taking revenge on the ancestors of the witch who blinded him when he was still human, Val and Agatha.
Unique: Argus wears a dozen eyes that he ripped out from women, so that he can see everything they see, and force them to act as his puppets.
A. The High Concept.
A demon who steals the eyes of withes to control them and feed of them
B. This character’s journey.
From invincible and master of the clinic to frightened and erratic
C. The Actor Attractors for this character.
ARGUS / Demon born from a with executioner
Role: Antagonist
What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
A new monster with the power and eyes of his ‘prisoners’. Tormented by the pain that a witch took his eyes and now haunting her ancestors to find peace in revenge.
What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
Not vivibly present he is there all the time and controlling and protecting his live stock.
What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?
He takes their eyes for his own, his body covered in eyes.
How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
He appears in a group, everyone frozen with shock while he feeds on their powers. But when he leaves nobody can remember what happened, they just feel exhausted somehow.
What could be this character’s emotional range
He is flirty when in control and deadly when threatened, killing his life stock (the patients) and so harming himself.
What subtext can the actor play?
Underneath all is a desire to be seen. The witches got their memorial, he got killed on the job and got nothing.
What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?
The demon is obsessed with Val because she is the one that got away, he only took one of her eyes.
How will this character’s unique voice be presented?
The demon is non verbal. He depends on the witches powers and sucks it out, but he is a gourmet, nothing tastes as good as the Flemmin family.
What could make this character special and unique?
His body covered with the eyes he took. With them he can see what they are seeing. He can make everyone who sees him forget him. He sees all. His ‘livestock’ sees nothing.
3. Brainstorm the first 6 parts of the profile for each of your lead characters.
Role in the Story: Argus traps women under a false face to feed on their powers and steal their eyes for himself, taking revenge on the ancestors of the witch who blinded him when he was still human, Val and Agatha.
Age range and Description:
30 year old witches executioner when he was still alive in the 1600. Then a demon resurrected form the blod of the ones he killed with dozens of eyes in his body that he stole from his victims.
Core Traits:
brutal, invisible, controlling
Motivation; Want/Need:
Wants to revenge his suffering by making the witches descendants his livestock
needs to get more power so they can’s destroy hm again.
Wound: He got his eyes stolen by a witch and then burned with her in her fire.
Demon ‘Argus’:
Likability: x
Relatability: He is blind without the witches’ eyes
Empathy: He suffered, when he killed the witches one stole his eyes and killed him, the only way out for him is to feed on the witches to come to power
Intrigue: He is omnipresent without ever being remembered, we see his effects but not himself
-
Tina’s Likability/Relatability/Empathy
My Vision: My writing enables me to live an exuberantly creative and productive life in prosperity.
Val Flemmin
Likability: She cares for her friend, doesn’t back down from bullies even though she has to pay the price, Her friend loves her and cares for her deeply
Relatability: She’s left alone, depends on herself to survive,
Empathy: She is locked up and abused, her family rejected her
Agatha Flemmin
Likability: She puts herself in harms way to protect Val, She hides the demon to get Val out, pretends to dislike Val to get her away
Relatability: doesn’t give up, will always defend herself even if it seem hopeless,
Empathy: She suffers from the torment of the demon, has no way of escape,
Demon ‘Argus’
Likability:
Relatability: He is blind without the witches’ eyes
Empathy: He suffered, when he killed the witches one stole his eyes and killed him, the only way out for him is to feed on the witches to come to power
Intrigue: He is omnipresent without ever being remembered, we see his effects but not himself
-
Tina’s Character Intrigue
My Vision: My writing enables me to live an exuberantly creative and productive life in prosperity.
ARGUS’ EYES
A teenage girl has her disfigured face reconstructed at a beauty clinic in the Black Forest, only to discover that her new face is just a mask and she is now the livestock for a blind demon who has stolen her eyes for himself.
———————————-
Character: Valentina Flemmin, 16 year old orphan, one-eyed
Role: Valentina has her disfigured face reconstructed at a beauty clinic run by her estranged grandma, only to discover that her new face is just a mask and she is now the livestock for a blind demon who has stolen her eye for himself.
Hidden Agenda: Get out of the foster system by stealing form her estranged grandmother. Uses Luzi to find the demon.
Conspiracy: Val and Luzi
Secret: Val hides th at she can the the gauged out eyes and knows of the demon.
Deception: Causing someone to believe something that is not true, especially to gain some personal advantage.
Unspoken Wound: Val lost her eye and her parents as a baby and was given into the foster system where she was abused.
Secret Identity: every woman for herself
3. Give us an idea of how that character’s subtext might show up in your movie.
hides her true agenda from Agatha
uses Luzi to trap the demon
———————————-
Character: Argus, blind demon, spawn of a former witch executioner
Logline: Argus traps women under a false face to feed on their powers and steal their eyes for himself, taking revenge on the ancestors of the witch who blinded him when he was still human, Val and Agatha.
Unique: Argus wears a dozen eyes that he ripped out from women, so that he can see everything they see, and force them to act as his puppets.
Hidden Agenda: His whole existence is hidden, they see heim when he’s feeding on them bit instantly forget he ever existed when he is out of sight.
He feeds from the woman to gather enough strength to take over the world.
Competition: The Flemmin’s are his arch enemies, the acestors of the one who blinded him.
Secret: he is the secret
Deception: He uses Agatha to act on his behalf, lure Val in and bring him more livestock to feed on.
Unspoken Wound: He was the witch executioner 400 years ago. A witch, Martha Flemmin, cursed him while she was tortured. He lost his eyes and died in the fire with her.
Secret Identity: The killer of Val’s parents.
3. Give us an idea of how that character’s subtext might show up in your movie.
The patients don’t realize he is the cause for their fatigue and pain. He is always present bit never seen. Always felt but never in the conscious awareness of the patients he uses as livestock.
———————————-
Character: Agatha Flemmin, 58. Valentina’s grandmother
Logline: Agatha is forced by Argus to run a beauty clinic that provides him with human livestock so he can feed on female powers and use their eyes as his own.
Unique: Under her false face Agatha is in constant terror.
Hidden Agenda: Get Val out of the clinic to protect her.
Conspiracy: She tries to poison the demon by poisoning herself, when he feeds on her he will die with her.
Secret: She knows all about the demon but can’t tell anyone because he would instantly know (he uses her eyes) and destroy everyone.
Deception: The nice granny welcoming her lost granddaughter. She covers her sometimes crazy behaviour and pain up so Val doesn’t learn the truth about the clinic, to protect her.
Unspoken Wound: She lost her daughter to the demon and had to sent val away as a baby to keep her safe. She is constantly tortured by the demon.
Secret Identity: She’s a powerful witch but has to hide all her abilities or the demon would kill her like her daughter.
3. Give us an idea of how that character’s subtext might show up in your movie.
Agatha smile but cries bloody tears under her mask. She wears a sleeping mask and pretends to sleep walk so she can do hidden things the demon can’t see. She’s horrible to Val in the hope she’ll get out of the clinic before it’s too late.
———————————-
-
.
-
Tina’s Subtext Characters
My Vision: My writing enables me to live an exuberantly creative and productive life in prosperity.
this worked great, the character’s actions became stronger and clearer.
——————————–
Character Name: Valentina Flemmin, 16 year old orphan, one-eyed
Subtext Identity: The loving granddaughter, robbing her grandmother
Subtext Trait: Every woman for herself, thieving, suspicious
Subtext Logline: pretends to be the loving granddaughter while robbing her grandmother and secretly disobeying her rules
Possible Areas of Subtext:
Val sneaks around and finds a box from her parent that was ‘discarded’ by Agatha.
Val agrees to stay with Agatha but steals everything of value and tries to leave (the demon stops her).
When Agatha tells her not to disturb patients after the facial that’s what she does.
She follows Agatha and sees her drinking something in secret (to poison the demon).
Val is too suspisious of everyone that she can’t see Agatha is trying to protect her, questions every word she is told.
——————————–
Character Name: Agatha Flemmin, 58. Valentina’s grandmother
Subtext Identity: The estranged grandmother, alternately affectionate and evil, making her appear crazy.
Subtext Trait: scheming, protective
Subtext Logline: Agatha hides the secret of the clinic (the demon) from Val to protect her, she pretends to want Val out of her life, but when she’s possed by the demon she lures Val back in.
Agatha suffers under the demon’s posession but hides its existence from Val and tries to get rid of her to protect her.
Possible Areas of Subtext:
Agatha doesn’t help Val when she is injured because se wants her to leave.
Is warm and welcoming but cries tears of blood (her inside screaming).
Assigns Val the ‘broom closet’ to sleep in, because it’s the only space in the clinic Agatha could hide from the demon with a spell.
Is cruel to Val when she is herself to make Val hate her and drive Val away. / Is charming when controlled by the demon to keep Val in the clinic to feed on her.
Invites Val’s friend Ayla to help her fight the demon./Agatha/demon kills the phone lines after Val called Ayla.
Agatha sends Val the amulet which seemingly protects her but is just a way of keeping Val save until she is ready for harvest by the demon.
-
Tina’s Actor Attractors!
My Vision: My writing enables me to live an exuberantly creative and productive life in prosperity.
ARGUS’ EYES
A teenage girl has her disfigured face reconstructed at a beauty clinic in the Black Forest, only to discover that her new face is just a mask and she is now the livestock for a blind demon who has stolen her eyes for himself.————————————
Lead Character Name:
Valentina Flemmin, 16
Role: Protagonist
What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
A raw and unsocial behaviour because she had to fight for herself since early childhood combined with unconditional empathy for the ones that need her help.
What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
-she steals from friends and foes alike, it’s her means of survival and hard to quit.
-manipulated by psychologists her whole life she can play the game better than anyone
What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?
she doesn’t trust the norm because the system betrayed her
Her unsocial behavior leads her to uncovering the demon
– she lives off the grid, can’t be confined and always choses to make her own path. takes the window instead of the door, eats in a tree, sits on the ground or on the table, sleeps under the bed, her bag is always packed,
She blames her missing eye for all the rejection she experienced. So when she gets a ‘normal’ face she clings to the hope that now her life will change. But to really change she has to trust her grandmother and disfigure her face even more to save them and find where she belongs.
How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
She stays cool when her attacker gets mutilated and then let’s Ayla clean the blood off of her to have a loving moment in the midst of total gore and violence.
What could be this character’s emotional range?
From cold and distant when facing people dying or struggling to absolute self sacrifice and violence when protecting her friend Ayla.
What subtext can the actor play?
On the outside she’s cool, inside she’s screaming of pain and rage.
What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?
– Val distrusts her grandma Agatha but choses to ‘play family’ with her to just have the experience even if it’s fake. She copies poses from other people’s family photos.
– Val only trusts one person and that is Ayla, her friend from the orphanage. Val can be cold an even cruel to others, but with Ayla she’s loving and over protective.
How will this character’s unique voice be presented?
Val doesn’t seem to let anything that is done to her upset her. She has brutal comebacks that reflect her dislike for everyone around her and ,after being under the supervision of therapists all her life, she knows exactly which buttons to push to make people explode.
What could make this character special and unique?
Val’s reactions and actions are either ice cold or scorching hot.
————————————
Agatha Flemmin, 55 and Val’s estranged grandmother
Role: Protagonist
What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
Agatha is a 55 year old woman terrorized by a demon since 16 years who feeds on her power.
What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
Her inner fight to break free from his spell makes her the most tormented character. She
What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?
How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
Agatha watches Val get injured without helping her. She welcomes her into the clinic with a big smile while a tear of blood runs down her perfect face.
What could be this character’s emotional range
From perfect host to hateful and desperate avenger.
What subtext can the actor play?
Agatha is in a constant war against the demon’s oppression. Whenever the demon’s powers weaken, she tries to sabotage its influence and save her granddaughter Valentina. This makes her behavior seem irrational and crazy.
What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?
Agatha sent Val away as a baby to get her out of the demon’s reach. She pretends to not want her to keep her away.
How will this character’s unique voice be presented?
Agatha’s contradictive behaviour from over sweet to hostile to fearless warrior makes her unpredictable.
What could make this character special and unique?
Agatha’s contradictive behaviour from over sweet to hostile to fearless warrior makes her unpredictable.
————————————
ARGUS / Demon born from a with executioner
Role: Antagonist
What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
A new monster with the power and eyes of his ‘prisoners’. Tormented by the pain that a witch took his eyes and now haunting her ancestors to find peace in revenge.
What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
Not vivibly present he is there all the time and controlling and protecting his live stock.
What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?
He takes their eyes for his own, his body covered in eyes.
How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
He appears in a group, everyone frozen with shock while he feeds on their powers. But when he leaves nobody can remember what happened, they just feel exhausted somehow.
What could be this character’s emotional range
He is flirty when in control and deadly when threatened, killing his life stock (the patients) and so harming himself.
What subtext can the actor play?
Underneath all is a desire to be seen. The witches got their memorial, he got killed on the job and got nothing.
What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?
The demon is obsessed with Val because she is the one that got away, he only took one of her eyes.
How will this character’s unique voice be presented?
The demon is non verbal. He depends on the witches powers and sucks it out, but he is a gourmet, nothing tastes as good as the Flemmin family.
What could make this character special and unique?
His body covered with the eyes he took. With them he can see what they are seeing. He can make everyone who sees him forget him. He sees all. His ‘livestock’ sees nothing.
-
Tina’s Genre Conventions
My Vision
My writing enables me to live an exuberantly creative and productive life in prosperity.
I worked witht the horror conventions from the horror class.
TITLE
ARGUS’ EYES
CONCEPT
A teenage girl has her disfigured face reconstructed at a beauty clinic in the Black Forest, only to discover that her new face is just a mask and she is now the livestock for a blind demon who has stolen her eyes for himself.
GENRE
Horror
Act 1:
S1
Opening
All Val wants is to be left alone, but gets attacked by a guard in the ‘troubled youth center’ in Utah, she stays passive, he has a freak accident before he can harm her. —Val is protected by an amulet from her mother
Inciting Incident
Val (on booty juice to calm her) is blamed by the director for the injuries of her guard. Begs him to send her to her grandmother. When he rejects her and humiliates her. he dies of a freak accident.
S2
Turning Point
Val fears she will be blamed for his death and escapes. She decides to search for her estranged grandmother. rob her and punish her because she left Val to grow up in this hell instead of taking her in as a baby after her parents died. Val flies to Germany.
Act 2
S3
New plan
travels to her grandmother who manages a beauty clinic in hte Black Forest. Gets warnings on the way, cursed place.
Finds her family name on a memorial for burned witches in 1600.
S4
Plan in action
Grandmother nicer than expected, warm welcome but with mixed messages.
Val sticks to her plan and tries to find valuables to steal. Finds old stuff from her mother, can’t make sense of it.
The clinic patients and her grandmother are acting weird.
Val uses her mother’s glasses and sees behind the masks – she sees their gauged out eyes.
Midpoint Turning Point
Sees the demon for the first time at group with patients. He feeds on them and leaves. After he’s gone everyone forgets he was ever there. (we know now)
Act 3:
S5
Rethink everything
Before Val can follow her instincts she gest the facial – her eyes gauged out and covered by the mask. With the facial she can’t take a step without being watched.
Val needs a friend – Ayla from her youth facility arrives, invited by her grandmother.
S6
New plan
Ayla gets a facial so Val can follow the demon and find out wher he lives / how they can kill him.
The demon discovers her and feeds on her until she almost dies.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift
Her gandmother drinks poison to make the demon feed on her and die with her but it fails.
Grandma dies. Val and Ayla are too weak with their masks sucking out even more energy.
S7
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict
Val accesses the blood well where she can lift the spell and rip off her mask. Without it she is blind, both her eyes gauged out. But with her mother’s glasses she can see.
S8
Resolution
The demon feeds on the patients. Val sprays them with blood from the well, thes get free from the masks. With their powers returning together they can force the demon to return their eyes.
-
Tina’s 4 Act Transformational Structure
My Vision: My writing enables me to live an exuberantly creative and productive life in prosperity.
It was very confusing to work in this 4 Act structure. I did it anyway, resistance is futile…
Concept
ARGUS’ EYES (Horror)
A teenage girl has her disfigured face reconstructed at a beauty clinic in the Black Forest, only to discover that her new face is just a mask and she is now the livestock for a blind demon who has stolen her eyes for himself.
Dramatic Triangle
Main Conflict
Val must find a way to escape the demon that has her trapped under a false face to keep her as his livestock.
Old Ways:
ferral
stays quiet when mistreated
runs from her oppressors
doesn’t believe anyone wants her because she is one-eyed ugly
“life is shit and then you die”
schemes to get what she needs
doesn’t trust anyone
steals from ‘friends’ – doesn’t believe anyone could be her real friend
rejects her witchy grandma because she rejected her
New Ways:
confronts authorities
risks her life to save the others
embraces her witchy heritage
sacrifices her newfound beauty to free herself
kills the demon
stands up for herself
accepts friendship and love
Act 1:
Opening
All Val wants is to be left alone, but gets attacked by a guard in the ‘troubled youth center’ in Utah, she stays passive, he has a freak accident before he can harm her. —Val is protected by an amulet from her mother
Inciting Incident
Val (on booty juice to calm her) is blamed by the director for the injuries of her guard. Begs him to send her to her grandmother. When he rejects her and humiliates her. he dies of a freak accident.
Turning Point
Val fears she will be blamed for his death and escapes. She decides to search for her estranged grandmother. rob her and punish her because she left Val to grow up in this hell instead of taking her in as a baby after her parents died. Val flies to Germany.
Act 2:
New plan
travels to her grandmother who manages a beauty clinic in hte Black Forest. Gets warnings on the way, cursed place. Finds her family name on a memorial for burned witches in 1600.
Plan in action
Grandmother nicer than expected, warm welcome but with mixed messages.
Val sticks to her plan and tries to find valuables to steal. Finds old stuff from her mother, can’t make sense of it.
The clinic patients and her grandmother are acting weird.
Val uses her mother’s glasses and sees behind the masks – she sees their gauged out eyes.
Midpoint Turning Point
Sees the demon for the first time at group with patients. He feeds on them and leaves. After he’s gone everyone forgets he was ever there. (we know now)
Act 3:
Rethink everything
Before Val can follow her instincts she gest the facial – her eyes gauged out and covered by the mask. With the facial she can’t take a step without being watched.
Val needs a friend – Ayla from her youth facility arrives, invited by her grandmother.
New plan
Ayla gets a facial so Val can follow the demon and find out where he lives / how they can kill him.
The demon discovers her and feeds on her until she almost dies.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift
Her grandmother drinks poison to make the demon feed on her and die with her but it fails.
Grandma dies. Val and Ayla are too weak with their masks sucking out even more energy.
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict
Val accesses the blood well where she can lift the spell and rip off her mask. Without it she is blind, both her eyes gauged out. But with her mother’s glasses she can see.
Resolution
The demon feeds on the patients. Val sprays them with blood from the well, thes get free from the masks. With their powers returning together they can force the demon to return their eyes.
-
Tina’s Subtext Plot
My Vision: My writing enables me to live an exuberantly creative and productive life in prosperity.
With every answer more questions emerge, that make me excited to go deeper into my story.
ARGUS’ EYES
A teenage girl has her disfigured face reconstructed at a beauty clinic in the Black Forest, only to discover that her new face is just a mask and she is now the livestock for a blind demon who has stolen her eyes for himself.
Someone Hides Who They Are
A Major Cover Up
3. Give us a few sentences on how your Subtext Plot will play out inside this story.
The demon has everyone under its spell by covering them with a false face, which allows him to use them as his puppets when he wishes.
– Valentina is welcomed to the beauty clinic by her grandma, but she sends mixed signals- trying to get rid of Valentina and at the same time pulling her deeper into the clinic. Under the false faces they try to fight their way out and sometime reach the surface where they try to leave or threaten — until they forget again.
Valentina investigates what’s wrong and finally finds a way to see behind the false faces – but then Valentina also gets the false face – under which she fights to gain control once again.
– Valentina befriends her grandmother to steal from her.
-
Tina’s Transformational Journey
My Vision: My writing enables me to live an exuberantly creative and productive life in prosperity.
It’s beautiful to discover more of the story and hard not to start writing.
ARGUS’ EYES
A teenage girl has her disfigured face reconstructed at a beauty clinic in the Black Forest, only to discover that her new face is just a mask and she is now the livestock for a blind demon who has stolen her eyes for himself.
HERO: VALENTINA FLEMMIN
Character: Valentina Flemmin, 16 year old runaway, one-eyed
Logline: Valentina has her disfigured face reconstructed at a beauty clinic run by her estranged grandma, only to discover that her new face is just a mask and she is now the livestock for a blind demon who has stolen her eye for himself.
Unique: Val’s other eye was stolen by the demon when she was a baby.
2. Character Arc for your Protagonist:
Arc Beginning: lonely orphan, rejected
Arc Ending: powerful witch with a family
3. Give us their Internal/External Journey.
Internal Journey:
Feeling rejected and powerless to loved and mighty.
External Journey:
Discarded orphan to powerful witch who saves her grandmother and slays the demon.
4. Tell us their Old Ways at the beginning of the movie and their New Ways at the end.
Old Ways:
stays quiet when mistreated
runs from her opressors
doesnt believe anyone wants her because she is one-eyed ugly
“life is shit and then you die”
schemes to get what she needs
doesn’t trust anyone
steals from ‘friends’ – doesn’t believe anyone could be her real friend
rejects her witchy grandma because she rejected her
New Ways:
confronts authorities
risks her life to save the others
embraces her witchy heritage
sacrifices her newfound beauty to kill the demon
stands up for herself
accepts friendship and love
-
Tina’s Intentional Lead Characters
My Vision
My writing enables me to live an exuberantly creative and productive life in prosperity.ARGUS’ EYES
A teenage girl has her disfigured face reconstructed at a beauty clinic in the Black Forest, only to discover that her new face is just a mask and she is now the livestock for a blind demon who has stolen her eyes for himself.
Dramatic Triangle
Character: Valentina Flemmin, 16 year old runaway, one-eyed
Logline: Valentina has her disfigured face reconstructed at a beauty clinic run by her estranged grandma, only to discover that her new face is just a mask and she is now the livestock for a blind demon who has stolen her eye for himself.
Unique: Val’s other eye was stolen by the demon when she was a baby.
Character: Argus, blind demon, spawn of a former witch executioner
Logline: Argus traps women under a false face to feed on their powers and steal their eyes for himself, taking revenge on the ancestors of the witch who blinded him when he was still human, Val and Agatha.
Unique: Argus wears a dozen eyes that he ripped out from women, so that he can see everything they see, and force them to act as his puppets.
Character: Agatha Flemmin, 58. Valentina’s grandmother
Logline: Agatha is forced by Argus to run a beauty clinic that provides him with human livestock so he can feed on female powers and use their eyes as his own.
Unique: Under her false face Agatha is in constant terror.
Character: The Beauty Clinic
Logline: A beauty Clinic in the Black Forest in Germany, build on the grounds of a former witches’ execution site.
-
Tina’s Title, Concept, and Character Structure!
My writing enables me to live an exuberantly creative and productive life in prosperity.
I’ve learned that one small decision at a time will lead me to write an incredible movie script.
ARGUS’ EYES
A teenage girl has her disfigured face reconstructed at a beauty clinic in the Black Forest, only to discover that her new face is just a mask and she is now the livestock for a blind demon who has stolen her eyes for himself.
Horror/ Dramatic Triangle
-
Tina Steffan
I agree to the terms of this release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of Writing Incredible Movies, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, through social media, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, videos, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
-
Hello all,
I’m Tina Steffan from Berlin, Germany.
I’ve written 3 features (one option), 3 TV shows and half a novel 😉
So far my genre was sci-fi, but my next projects are going to be horror.
I’m a media designer, creating event concepts for Google and Netflix among others. I also developed an automatic restaurant for SAP.
Let’s connect
https://www.instagram.com/thetinasteffan/
https://www.facebook.com/tina.steffan
https://www.linkedin.com/in/tina-steffan/
-
I go on with some hole in this one, but they’ll fill eventually.
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
Atmosphere of Evil established:
Val in a single cell i her orphanage
one eyed (he took her eye when she was a baby – her witches powers diminished
the night guard attacks her
she warns him, not afraid
he dies of freak accident, just before her amulet glows
— she tells us this is what happened all her life to people who attack her
Connect with the characters:
Her social worker should protect her bit totally gets her screwed
sends her back into the hands of her attackers
The characters are warned not to do it:
sneaks into her room to get her things
roomate warns her not to go to search for her aunt,
only picture shows her family as crazy, chaos, poor
better than this
Denial of Horror:
a village next to hers
witches memorial – horrors of the past
witches with cut out eyes
Safety taken away:
on her journey asks women for the way, beautiful but tired/exhausted
praise the beauty farm
drinks a tea that makes her funny
her stuff gets stolen
with the only picture of her parents and aunt
Monster: The nature of the beast:
waits for her aunt to pick her up
Gets attacked again
first she’s arrogant
realizes her amulet is gone – her protection is gone /didn’t belive in it anyway
than gets hit
her face gets slashed
Her aunt watches her smiling / next to her in the car invisible the demon
gets thrown in a water
cleansed for her arrival
aunt pull her out
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
Isolated / Trapped / Abducted:
Val is taken in by her aunt
her aunt denies any connection to witches – there’s no such thing as magic
cant remember well – drifts of when asked about her parents
gets locked in her room, but its pretty
aunt promises to get custody for her
denied hospital – in the coming days she will have surgery for her face
—finds box with her parents stuff – spell book – elixirs – kids stuff (they had to hide their magic in ridicoulous objects)
a fernglas with sigil carved into it – that makes black rings around your eyes
her aunt sees it – takes the glases away
Val helps out in the clinic. they all act weird
her aunt packs to leave then forgets
a woman sweeps the threshhold
need to stay awake
befriends a woman. she gets a facial. tries to stay awake for days. gets tired and dies / sent home
— in their sleep he visits and feeds of them
— she finds her stolen things, but not her protection ring amulet
One of us killed:
finds the glasses again in her aunts office
looks at someone, sees their eyes cut out –
drops the glasses and they break
MIDPOINT — THE MONSTER IS WORSE THAN WE THOUGHT
Full pursuit by the killer:
Dinner with aunt
val still in shock about the eyes
tried to repair the glasses, tries them in her aunt but they dont work
demon joins them for dinner
val cant move
her aunt seems to not notice him
next day is her surgery
Val wakes up bandaged
takes it off
her face is beautiful, no scars, both her eyes perfect
shes tired
her aunt apologizes silently
her aunt gives her a hint – the box of her parents – hidden more stuff
val finds other glasses
val can see again
when she takes it off everyone looks good
//eyes gauged out!
The group has entered full terror. They are being chased, trapped, attacked, and killed.
ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
Fight to the death:
sees the demon at her aunts bed feeding
pretends not to see
she attacks the demon
memory lapse
wakes up in bed
weak
Hysteria:
With death happening all around the characters, they have lost control of their emotions. Screaming, crying, and shaking are natural responses to the horror that is raining down on them!
The thrilling escape from death:
Just as exciting as the horror are the escapes and near-escapes. The characters may escape many times, only to face the monster again.
Death returns to take one or more:
val gets drink
sees
drinks poison when the demon comes
the demon feeds of her poisonous energy
he’s in pain, the eyes close and vanish. they go back to their owners – not enough
Even after they think they’ve killed the monster, it will return to shock their reality once more.
Resolution:
witches execution site
aunt drink more poison
aunt free from the spell
her eye got taken and with it her power
Someone has survived after an unbelievable horror gauntlet. But it isn’t a happy ending. They are very likely traumatized for life…but they are alive.
-
Tina’s Characters for Horror
I found it hard to come up with more character because I envisioned it mainly as a coming of age of a witch – her journey to finding her power and fighting the demon. All the others are mainly under the influence of the demon until they are rescued
1. Tell us your Concept and the Group you have chosen.
A demon keeps patients in a beauty clinic as his livestock to feed on their dormant witch powers, until they are an empty shell and released.
A group of patients in the beauty clinic
2. Tell us the Dying Pattern of this movie.
The characters experience the terror and survive together, but one or two die.
There’s more ‘collateral’ but the meaningful deaths are just 1-2
3. Give us an Identity and a sentence for each character that makes up your group.
The Rescuer/The Chosen One
A 16 year old girl doesn’t know she’s a witch. She has to learn how to unleash her powers to defeat the demon.
The aunt – Leads the clinic / is a puppet for the demon
Appears as the Moral One under influence of the monster / her true self is The Rebel
The female patients of the beauty clinic – Monster Bait
under control of the demon – their true selfs only come out when he doesn’t feed on their powers
The villagers
The Love Interest (for the aunt) – The Mayor
They ignore strange incidents to keep the money from the clinic coming
-
Tina’s Terrifying Monster
It’s great to see it shift and squirm then how the pieces fall into place. It continues to evolve…
1. Tell us what or who your monster is.
A featureless demon sucking out the energy of witches and using their eyes as his own.
2. Give us a few sentences for each of the following for your monster:
Their Terror:
He sucks out the witches’ powers, it’s his life source. He gauges their eyes out to use as his own and sews their mouth shut to keep them quiet, then replaces their face witch a mask. He keeps them as his livestock, making his rounds to feed on them.
He leaves his victims powerless/submissive and exhausted, sometimes for a lifetime.
When he sucks out too much of their power they wither away and die faster.Their Mystery:
How can we fight something if we forget that something happened once it’s over?
What do we fight against when we can’t see our wounds? (we just feel their impact, suffer underneath the mask)Their Fear Provoking Appearance:
The monster: A faceless figure with dozens of eyes of his victims inserted into his blank face.
The victims: The mask of a normal face, with the eyes gouged out and the mouth sewn shut underneath.Their Rules:
– When he appears everyone behaves like he’s part of daily life. But when he’s gone you can’t remember he ever existed.
– He must feed on the power of witches or he dies.
– When he has no eyes of his victims he is blind.
– No one can see behind the masks of his victims, until…Their Mythology:
In 1625 the ‘witches’ of the village were tortured and burned. The hatred of the villagers spawned a demon that fed on the blood and ashes of the witches. It continued to evolve. In 1920 he opened a beauty farm on the execution spot, where he finds new victims to ‘feed’ on.
-
The Invisible Man Horror Conventions
Title / Concept: The Invisible Man / Blumhouse
Cecilia’s abusive ex-boyfriend fakes his death and becomes invisible to stalk and torment her. She begins experiencing strange events and decides to hunt down the truth on her own.
Terrorize The Characters: Celia is haunted by her dead boyfriend who kills her sister. She appears insance and violent. It seems impossible to get out of the traps he sets for her.
Isolation: Nobody believes her, she is put in a mental hospital for killing her sister
Death: sents fake death notes in her name, then kills sister in public – forcing her hand with a knife
Monster/Villain: the ex, a narcissistic psychopath
High Tension: the violence escalates and she is blamed for it, no escape
Departure from Reality: he’s truly invisible
Moral Statement: overcoming deception, staying with her own truth even though nobody believes her. getting out of an abusive relationship
3. Anything else you’d like to say about what made this movie a great horror film?
It’s probably more on the thriller side of things but since it’s a Blumhouse…
I love that it starts by her getting out of the house without a backstory.
4. With your concept, fill in each of these Conventions for your story.
Concept:
Sabrina meets The Stepford Wives/Get Out
A lowly demon has tricked his way up the ladder to become the boss of a lucrative beauty farm in the Black Forest, feeding on the spirits of witches to increase his power and make them his servants.
Terrorize The Characters:
With the promise of a beauty treatment women get lured into the clinic. There their faces, eyes and mouth, are sewn shut and replaced by a lifelike mask. They live in terror, unable to make themselves heard, forced to wear a smiling face on the outside.
Isolation:
Witches trapped inside their body without a way to communicate.
The teenage witch is the only one who can see the terror, she can see behind the masks, but nobody believes her.
Death:
When the demon sucks out too much of the energy the witches wither away until death comes as a relief.
Monster/Villain:
A lower demon with a god complex
High Tension: A teenage witch has to find the key to her powers to save her aunt and the other witches before the demon council can feast on their powers and kill all
Departure from Reality: witches, demons, human body as prison
Moral Statement: society sucking energy from female workforce, double burden of caring for children, family and caregiving, only 15 percent female management representation in big businesses (in Germany)
-
Tina Steffan
I agree to the terms of this release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
-
Hi,
I’m Tina Steffan from Berlin, Germany.
I’ve written 3 features (one option), 3 TV shows and half a novel 😉
So far my genre was sci-fi, but my next projects are going to be horror comedy.
I’m a media designer, creating event concepts for Google and Netflix among others. I also developed an automatic restaurant for SAP.
Let’s connect
https://www.instagram.com/thetinasteffan/
https://www.facebook.com/tina.steffan
-
This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by Tina Steffan.
-
This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by
-
Tina Steffan
I agree to the terms of this release form.
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
-
Hi Farrin! Such a great class 🙂