[Tom Minier]

Assignment 1: Tom’s Height of the Emotion

What I learned in this assignment was that finding emotional peaks in the story is easy, but trying to come up with a profound line is challenging. I took a first pass at this and identified where I wanted lines that could move an audience, and had a couple ideas for good dialogue, but I wasn’t comfortable calling it profound. In the second pass I reviewed the lesson again and looked for the essence in the dialogue I wanted to create, and that opened up everything for me. Some pretty darn good dialogue developed. I was surprised by this because normally I need to get into the scene and characters and let the dialogue flow from there. It was interesting to work in reverse.

Assignment 2: Tom Builds Meaning with Dialogue

What I learned doing this assignment was to focus on how a line evolves with the character or story. I found that in my story my lines with deeper meaning weren’t said by one person but rather passed along or back and forth raising the stakes of their meaning each time. The lines came easier for me in this lesson, but the changing meaning was challenging.

[Tom Minier]

Tom Delivers Irony!

What I learned is that I had irony built into the story already, and that with intention I could connect that irony to the new ways and profound insights escalated the overall quality of the story. I still struggle with the second option for building irony. I will be returning to this lesson to devote more time here.

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Delivers Insights Through Conflict

What I learned doing this assignment was how to identify key points of conflict that could act as setups or payoffs toward the new ways or profound truth. Through that I was able to see how scenes could be rewritten to have a greater impact on the audience by starting with the end result in mind.

[Tom Minier]

ASSIGNMENT 1

Tom’s Seabiscuit Analysis

What I learned doing this assignment was the power and the number of times you can show a profound truth. I saw the value of second chances show up in so many of the main characters including two of the horses. It was interesting to see how those characters were broken in their own way but through second chances at life, happiness, love, success, walking, riding, etc., they found themselves again.

List the Profound Moments, then tell briefly what made them profound for you.

The stock market crash – how many people lost everything they had

Family gives boy up to ride – families had to make such tough choices that they would be willing to give up their kids for an opportunity

Son dies in truck accident – when left alone Charlie’s only son dies in a car accident which leads to wife leaving him

Tom saves the white horse from being shot – he has some sort of horse whisper skill

Charlie asks Tom why he saved the horse if he can’t race – You don’t throw a life away just because he’s banged up a little

Tom’s first interaction with Seabiscuit – he looked through me, they connected

Tom sees Red fighting four guys and Seabiscuit fighting three – he sees two kindred spirits

Meeting between Seabiscuit and Red – there is an understanding between horse and man

Red is at Charlie’s and he looks down at the food and is hesitant to eat – Charlie says it’s okay and Red says it’s a lot of food – Charlie responds I’d rather you be strong than thin, Red says it’s a lot of food — reminding the audience of mindset of a jockey and possibly of the depression

Charlie gives Red $20 – it’s symbolic of being okay again, this leads to Seabiscuit to winning his first race, ultimately turning Seabiscuit into a symbol of the underdog and common man

They lose a big race by a nose and we find out Red is blind in one eye and he lied to Charlie and Tom – Tom responds that you don’t throw a life away because he’s a little beat up

Riding in the dark at night – Red must completely trust the horse

Red falls off horse and is dragged into the stable – he injures his leg and needs to be operated – Charlie stays at the hospital with him – he won’t ride but he can walk

Red can’t ride but he gets the other guy that he competed with earlier to take his place – this showed selflessness

When Red is walking the other jockey through the race – he says to go against Tom and make sure he gives up the lead at the last stretch – Seabiscuit needs to see that horse and his heart will pull him across the finish line – later Tom says the same thing

Red and Seabiscuit meet again with injured legs – they are again connected and with a new common pursuit – recovery

Other jockey – its better to break a man’s leg than his heart

Charlie letting Red ride – Charlie now sees Red as a son and is terrified of losing him again

ASSIGNMENT 2

Tom Turns Insights Into Action

What I learned from this assignment was that showing is far more interesting than telling, and that looking for ways to illustrate insight through action is a great activity for the outlining process as it allows you to see the destination and begin reverse engineering your setups to get there.

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Living Metaphors

What I learned from this assignment was that living metaphors came easy for me and I had five readily available in my story. That said, should work, but doesn’t challenges were far more challenging. The five that I came up with definitely gave me food for thought in terms of building out the scenes where the moments occur.

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Counterexamples

What I learned from this scene was how to reimagine some of my scenes in terms of dialogue and questioning. Also, scenes have also exposed themselves in different ways to show how counterexamples could be happening in the action helping me to see the transformational map for my main character more clearly.

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s 12 Angry Men Analysis

What I learned from this lesson was that old ways can be tackled in groups, multiple times, and with different levels of intensity. While there were some on-the-nose moments in this movie, there were also some challenges that felt more generated by discovery.

ASSIGNMENT 1

Old Way: Assumption of guilt

Challenge: Initially challenged by Juror 8 who voted not guilty to start a conversation;

Old Way: Just want this over

Challenge: Initially challenged by Juror 8 who voted not guilty to start a conversation; One guy switches his vote because he just wants it to be over and then gets called out by the person who came to the country

Old Way: Not caring

Challenge: Initially challenged by Juror 8 who voted not guilty to start a conversation; One guy switches his vote because he just wants it to be over and then gets called out by the person who came to the country

Old Way: Prejudice

Challenge: Initially challenged by Juror 8 who voted not guilty to start a conversation; Multiple jurors later say the boy is from the slums and that all, which enlightens others to the systemic racism at play; One juror says that the accused should burn and gets called out for personally wanting him to take the fall—then gets riled up and says that he’ll kill the juror, illustrating that someone could say something like this without really meaning it; Guy starts making racist comments and everyone gets up and turns their back on him—another guy tells him to shut it or he’ll split his skull.

Old Way: Not looking beneath the surface

Challenge: Initially challenged by Juror 8 who voted not guilty to start a conversation; Guy starts making racist comments and everyone gets up and turns their back on him—another guy tells him to shut it or he’ll split his skull

Old Way: Assuming the evidence is not questionable

Challenge: Initially challenged by Juror 8 who voted not guilty to start a conversation; Juror 8 later asks to see the knife, another juror summarizes the segment of the trial regarding the knife, and juror 8 reveals the same knife, it was bought at the corner store for $2—indicating there could likely have been more than one knife; the stabbing motion is called into play later and the juror who grew up in the slums explains anyone who ever used a switchblade would stab low and up, not high and downward.

Old Way: Assuming the witnesses were accurate

Challenge: Initially challenged by Juror 8 who voted not guilty to start a conversation; The witness saw the murder through the windows of an elevated train, and the old man says he heard the boy screaming out, the old juror says he did it for attention and he knows this because he too is old and lonely; Calling into question that an old man travelled across the room in 15 seconds, one of the jurors who was adamant he was guilty, yells out how can we trust anything an old man says. They then map it out and see it takes 28 seconds; The woman who saw the murder wore glasses but says she rolled over in bed and saw the murder but would not have had time to

Old Way: Assuming the Defense Attorney did his job

Challenge: Initially challenged by Juror 8 who voted not guilty to start a conversation;

Old Way: Assuming the case is completely logical

Challenge: Initially challenged by Juror 8 who voted not guilty to start a conversation;

ASSIGNMENT 2

Tom’s Old Ways Challenge Chart

What I learned from this lesson was that there are a variety of ways to challenge the old ways and that the challenge lands even harder when the character struggling through the old ways has the self-discovery that leads them to acknowledge the need for change.

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Profound Ending

What I learned from this lesson is essentially the ending to my story. It was a void on the outline, but this exercise helped me put together an ending that checks all the boxes that I was hoping to accomplish in terms of payoffs and does so in a way that I hope is profound.

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Connection with Audience

What I learned in this assignment is that I really want to make the change agents pop by putting special attention on these four items early on. One change agent only has one scene in the first 30 minutes, but then becomes a major player at the midpoint. This got me thinking about that first scene and how I can really go big with it. The other change agent is the antagonist and I’ve gone back and forth about how I wanted to portray him, but now I feel like having a very complex and likable villain will make the character that much more memorable.

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Transformational Structure

What I learned… this lesson took me a really long time because it exposed so many gaps that I was aware of and unaware of in my story. I made it through the first four mini movies and came to a screeching halt. After reimagining the second half of my story, I was finally able to proceed, and now that this structure is built into the outline I really feel like I have a better grasp on not just what the transformational character is going through, but all the characters, as well as the the story arc itself.

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Three Gradients

I am playing around with the idea of combining the desire change and forced change gradients based on the nature of the story. Other than “excitement” the journey of the transformable character fits both stories.

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Lead Characters

The big thing I learned from this lesson is having intention in the transformation by giving more structure to your characters. Also, incorporating a betraying character to show how difficult the change is makes a lot of sense and builds a new layer into the dramatic arc of the transformational journey.

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Transformational Journey

What I learned is that I have an essence of my main character’s transformation, and that my goal is to align that transformation with the way I am trying to make the audience perceive the message of the story. Also, to carry over from last lesson, that the goal is to have these items operating in the background, not the focus of the story, to avoid sounding preachy.

Logline:

A small town police officer is falsely accused of murdering his wife and while trying to understand what really happened to her, discovers that the very essence of existence is so much bigger than he was willing to imagine.

Tell us what you see as the Old Ways.

Isolated <div>

Untrusting

Narrow-minded

Not spiritual or even open to the possibility

Logical, sometimes to a fault

Chain of command oriented

Military-minded

Conservative

Not interested or concerned with science

Tell us what you see as the New Ways.

Connected to his family and community </div><div>

Eyes open

Open to mysticism (or what we might perceive as mysticism)

Spontaneous

Capable of feeling

Operating from his heart

Eyes open to a bigger design

Deeply intertwined with the science that was the basis of his wife’s work

</div>

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s First Three Decisions

I learned that I am just scratching the surface of what will drive this story. I feel like have a good handle on the entertainment vehicle, but the profound truth was tricky, and don’t feel like I really nailed. My answers are still brain answers, and I feel like I need to hear what my heart has to say about the matter.

What is your profound truth?

We are in control of our fate.

Grief is unavoidable, but how we handle it is within our control

The key to survival is community/family

What is the change your movie will cause with an audience?

To reconsider our relationship to those in our lives (the value of community) and how those people help shape our destiny.

Kids need positive adult interaction

The value of real connection

What is your Entertainment Vehicle that you will tell this story through?

Alternate realities

Nostalgia

Fear metaphor – the infection of fear is akin to the internet—its available to everyone, but affects us differently; the weak are consumed by it; the strong utilize as a tool; and the masses fall victim to it ubiquitousness

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Analysis of Groundhog Day

What I learned… I’ve watch Groundhog Day many times but I’ve never analyzed the actual transformation of Phil. I didn’t recall the profound message being such a focal point of the story. Maybe be Bill Murray is amazing to watch, but to the lesson’s point this kind of work slips under the consciousness radar unless it’s being looked for.

What is the CHANGE this movie is about? What is the Transformational Journey of this movie?

Going from self-centered to putting others first

2. Lead characters:

Who is the Change Agent (the one causing the change) and what makes this the right character to cause the change?

Rita

Who is the Transformable Character (the one who makes the change) and what makes them the right character to deliver this profound journey?

Phil

What is the Oppression?

Phil’s attitude and sarcasm. His ego-centrism.

3. How are we lured into the profound journey? What causes us to connect with this story?

When Groundhog Day repeats for the first time we see a confused less cynical Phil trying to make sense of what is happening.

4. Looking at the character(s) who are changed the most, what is the profound journey? From “old ways” to “new way of being.” Identify their old way: Identify their new way at the conclusion:

Phil. His old way was being mean and self-centered. He spoke with sarcasm. His new way became being helpful and focused on others. He speaks from the heart.

5. What is the gradient the change? What steps did the Transformational Character go through as they were changing?

He tries to confide in Rita, then goes to the doctor, then to a psychiatrist

While at the bar he is talking with two men he just met (and I think the guys he called morons earlier that day) and is confiding in them. When they are too drunk to drive he drives them home.

On the third day after getting arrested, he wakes up again with an attitude that he can do anything. Kisses the old lady at the B&B, punches Ned, lets another guy step in the puddle, eats an enormous amount of terrible food.

He uses the repetition to learn about Nancy and then on the following day is able to hook up with her, but while they are back at his room he calls her Rita twice.

Phil then proceeds to ask Rita about the things she likes, trying to get to know her. Is he really interested or is this just another non-consequential challenge.

Phil puts a ton of work into the creating the perfect day for him and Rita but then at the very end he pushes too hard for sex and Rita realizes that its all just been a set up.

The dates just keep getting worse and worse each ending with Phil getting slapped and going home alone.

Phil then gets angry yelling at the people putting on the ceremony and then turning back to the camera with disdain.

Phil kidnaps the groundhog and drives off a cliff in the quarry hoping that it will end the cycle if the groundhog is dead.

He commits suicide multiple times.

Phil confides in Rita again, revealing everything about everyone. Rita is mystified and says that she should spend the rest of the day with him.

Rita spends the entire night with Phil. She falls asleep and Phil genuinely says how he feels about her.

Phil wakes up and becomes nice to everyone. He gives the homeless guy his money, and then gets coffee and donuts for the crew. He asks Larry what he thinks about the best shot. He carries Larry’s camera. He begins taking Piano lessons. He takes ice sculpting. He is nice to Ned, very Nice. He takes the homeless guy to the hospital and he passes away.

He gives a touching speech. Rita asks him to get a cup of coffee, but he has errands to run. He catches a boy as he falls out of a tree. He fixes the tire for the old ladies. He gives the Heimlich to guy at the restaurant.

At the party Phil is playing the piano with a jazz band. As he is dancing with all the people he’s helped come up to him and thank him.

Bachelor auction. Rita bids everything she has.

Phil wakes up with Rita

He wants them to stay in Punxsutawney

6. How is the “old way” challenged? What beliefs are challenged that cause a main character to shift their perspective…and make the change?

The old way is challenged when he realizes he can’t just take advantage of people. Doing whatever he wants doesn’t get him out of the loop. When he begins doing things to help people we see a shift. He strives to be more like Rita ultimately focusing on others and finding happiness.

7. What are the most profound moments of the movie?

On the third day when Phil begins to accept what is happening we see him live life as he thinks he wants to

Realizing that happiness isn’t just about his wants—when he is getting what he wants he is becoming more miserable

He learns that happiness comes from caring about others and makes that his mission

8. What are the most profound lines of the movie?

What would you do if you were stuck in the same place everyday, and nothing mattered? Guy takes a shot. Other guy says, “that about sums it up for me.”

What if there no tomorrow?, Phil asks. Drunk guy 1 responds, “That would mean there would be no consequences. We could whatever we wanted!” Phil responds, “that’s true, we could do whatever we want” and drives through a mailbox with a cop nearby leading to him playing chicken with a train.

Sir Walter Scott quote

Phil says, “You think I am acting like this because I’m ego-centric”. Rita responds, “I know you’re ego-centric, it’s you defining characteristic.”

I love you. You love me, you don’t even know me. I can’t believe I fell for this, this whole day has just been one long set up.

I could never love anyone like you Phil because you could never love anyone but yourself.

I’ll give you a winter prediction. It’s gonna be cold. It’s gonna be gray. And it’s gonna last you for the rest of your life.

I’m a god. A god, not the god… I don’t think.

Tomorrow you will have forgotten all about this and you will treat me like a jerk again.

What I wanted to say was, I think you’re the kindest, sweetest, prettiest person I ever met in my life. I’ve never seen anyone who is nicer to people than you are. The first time I saw you, something happened to me. I knew that I wanted to hold you as long as I could. I don’t deserve someone like you. But if I ever could I would love you for the rest of my life.

Did you say something?

Goodnight Rita.

I know your face so well I could have done it with my eyes closed.

No matter what happens tomorrow or for the rest of my life, I’m happy now because I love you.

Something is different. Good or bad. Anything different is good. But this could be real… good.

Today is tomorrow. It happened. You’re here.

Is there anything I can do for you, today. I’m sure I could think of something.

It’s so beautiful. Let’s live here.

9. How does the ending payoff the setups of this movie?

Phil discovers happiness, and it wasn’t just on a random night, it was a day in which he did all that he could do to help others, as he had been doing for many days, but this was the day it all came together Rita and then the next morning, she was there with him.

10. What is the Profound Truth of this movie?

True happiness comes from genuinely caring about others.

Groundhog Day was an excellent example of a transformation since we are literally repeating the same day, so it easy to identify the progression of the character as he makes different choices in accordance to how he is coping with the situation.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  Tom Minier.

[Tom Minier]

Hey everyone, sorry I am late to the party. I had a life-event happen that slapped a move halfway across the country onto my schedule about a week before the class was slated to begin. I am finally getting settled and ready to get profound.

My name is Tom Minier, and I’ve written about ten scripts to date. What I am hoping to get out of this class is a rewrite. I’m currently on the third draft of a feature, and I believe it has a lot of promise with regards to its profoundness. I’m hoping to find that opportunity here. I study human achievement and performance.

[Tom Minier]

Tom Minier

I agree to this form.

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As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

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