Duane T Basham
Forum Replies Created
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Duane’s Transformations Journies.
What I learned from this is that BOTH characters have to be affected by the relationship and both have to change to move closer together.
Maria’s Transformational Journey
• 1. Initial state: Insecure about Men’s love
• 2. Meet-Cute moment: At a roundabout where she damaged flowers.
• 3. Initial challenges: Goes from not wanting to date him to dating him as a test case.
• 4. Major conflict / Obstacle: He did not know he was a spy on her App development.
• 5. Self-Reflection: He was honest in everything he did.
• 6. Acceptance and Growth: This is somebody who doesn’t want anything from her, and supports her doing what she wants to do. This is the kind of person she wants to be around.
• 7. Demonstrate the change: Supports Jimmy getting a cut of the App deal and gives him her dying plant to bring back to life.
• 8. Reunion: At the Airport she realizes that even though Jimmy doesn’t say I love you, everything he does says I love you.Jimmy’s Transformational Journey
• 1. Initial state: Not looking for serious relationship – non committal.
• 2. Meet-Cute moment: Fixing flowers he does not know she tore up.
• 3. Initial challenges: He does not bolt when she pushes him away.
• 4. Major conflict / Obstacle: He does not know she was developing an App and their whole relationship was a test case.
• 5. Self-Reflection: She’s a serious woman who is not needy and actually liked him.
• 6. Acceptance and Growth: This is a confident woman who is his intellectual match and is not looking for a traditional co-dependent relationship.
• 7. Demonstrate the change: Jimmy follows her on the book tour.
• 8. Reunion: At the Airport – they both get from each other what they want. -
What I learned from doing this is there is a basic conflict in the premise and lodged between them in the relationship. There must be something they are dealing with that gets in the way of all the lovey dovely stuff.
The 7 Stages of Love:
• 1. Meet-Cute: They see each other numerous times but meet at a behavioral study for couples – which is to be used to develop an App to determine if someone is in love.
• 2. Attraction/Flirting: He leaves her a long list of sticky notes and she responds.
• 3. Denial: She’s not looking for a relationship – and this was all for testing purposes anyways – and he’s not rushing into anything.
• 4. Separation/Forced Together: Both are involved in the App development but each has secret motives.
• 5. Working through Issues/Differences: When found out – the standoff begins, but they can’t stop trying to find out if any of it was real.
• 6. Hate/Betrayal/All Hope is Lost: He feels used and does not trust her. She feels he took advantage of her to get the inside scoop on the app.
• 7. Love Happens: She comes to understand his motives were simple and pure and he comes to understand she has been hurt so many times she throws the first punch when the relationship is in trouble. We see just how compatible these two nut jobs are. -
GROUP RELEASE FORM
I, Duane Thomas Basham agree to the terms of this release form.
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
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1. Brainstorm at least 5 ideas for each of these and select the one or combination you like best for your bigger story.
• A. What interesting world could this movie/show be set in?
*** Computer Dating App development
• B. What major conflict could be happening?
*** She’s developing the app and he does not know this – and he’s researching the app for another app developer and she doesn’t know that.
• C. What intriguing situation could these characters be engaged in?
*** Sparring over a fake relationship when it feels real to both of them. Different view on what love is and how is expressed. Ulterior motives in this relationship all around.
2. Turn that bigger story into a 3-Act or 4-Act structure.
Act 1:
• Opening – Maria leaves boyfriend one week before the wedding.
• Inciting Incident – Ask college friend who developed an app, if it’s possible to develop and App that can tell if someone is actually in love with you.
• Turning Point – First night in proof of concept of love goes great – BUT Dean of college investigates use of students for a “behavioral study”
Act 2:
• New plan – The Dean of Biology – 45 year old divorcee and thinks love has nothing to do with the biological operation of humans signs on to help with App
• Plan in action – Good testing done and a prototype is developed. Man Maria has met shows up and he and Maria sit in for a session and sparks fly.
• Midpoint Turning Point – Man that Maria left before wedding because she said he did not lover her shows up and demands closure. Maria forces him to go through the evaluation process – and the data (which the team keeps from her) shows he did – does love her – and that she does not love him.
Act 3:
• Rethink everything – Maria pursues relationship with new guy – neither knowing the motives of the other.
• New plan Maria gets real feelings for new guy but will not admit it – claims he is still just a test subject.
• Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift – Maria finally sees the evidence that her ex was in love with her – but she did not love him. The new guy shows up with the app developer and now they both know each others secret – was any of it real.
Act 4:
• Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict – Maria must decide if she trust the app she developed or her heart – and New guy has to decide if he can trust her for anything.
• Resolution – Maria agrees to sell the app – and write a book about love (what she want to do at the beginning but did not know how). Maria and new guy decide to see where this relationship can go – in the real world. -
What I learned doing this assignment – The characters coming into this – and the baggage they carry is critical to to conflict and how it’s resolved.
Who is She? She is “lovelorn” – though I don’t like or use that word. She loves hard but is insecure how much the man loves her. She knows she is a handful, thus she suspects he is going to have issues with her – and she is always on the lookout for them.
Who is He? He is happy go lucky – dates around but never serious. He’s slow to make a move and does not push things. This reads as casual – but in truth he is guarding his heart. He will not put his heart out there to be stepped on, so he will never say I love you first or act like this is a serious relationship
What makes them lovable? The both desire love above anything – but she does not trust it and he does not give it.
What attracts them to each other? The each approach the potential of a relationship differently than anything they have met. This is intriguing, to them and they would both “like to know more.”
What needs does each fulfill for the other? Her need to be supported in her career as a woman with time and deed and whiling loving her just the way she is. His need to have an equal in the relationship – not someone who wants to tie him down or get him to commit. His need is for someone to KNOW he loves them by the way he acts around them all the time and how inclusive he is in her life.
*** This includes my re-thoughts.
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Duane’s Rom-Com Project
What I learned doing this assignment is just answer the questions. If you don't have a good answer, you don't have a good Rom Com concept.HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT:
1. Starting with whatever idea you have, fill in the blanks to create a concept.• Two People Who Belong Together:
Maria, untrusting where love is concerned and Jimmy, who does't go there. They suspect they belong together, but neither one wants to admit it.• How Are They Separated:
Maria did not know that Jimmy only came to the relationship study to find out what the App was all about. Jimmy didn't know it was Maria's App, and he was being used for testing purposes.• What Forces Them together:
They are both aware they have never met someone to interesting and exasperating.• Issues to be Resolved:
Distrust and real motives in the APP making process and sale.• On Their Journey of Love:
Their patience is refreshing as neither responds in the way they expect. This allows the relationship to build a foundation of respect and admiration.CONCEPT
A A jilted woman develops an App to tell if a man is in love with her.2. Then fill in the blanks to create your conventions. Even though some of these are the same, it is worth looking at them in the context of the conventions.
• Experience of Falling In Love:
These two have their guards up but can't let go of the possibilities.• The Journey of Love:
Rocky, but the more they learn about each other, the more the realize the mistakes they made in the past.• Relationship Set-up:
Paired at a Relationship Study for development of an APP.• Issues each must Resolve:
Maris must get over her trust issues and allow someone to love her. Jimmy must move from his carefree nature to admitting just how much her cares.• Separation:
Blowup over Jimmy snooping on the APP and Jimmy not knowing it was Maria's APP in the first place.• How will Comedy be Expressed:
Odd responses to awkward situations.-
This reply was modified 11 months ago by Duane T Basham.
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This reply was modified 11 months ago by
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I, Duane Thomas Basham, As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
Sign,
Duane Thomas Basham -
Tom’s Query Letter Draft ONE
What I learned doing this assignment is that time away from it allows me to re-visit the basic set up – and make objective improvements.
A NEW YEARS WISH Genre: Drama – Inspirational
It’s New Years Eve, and young Rick, like most people, is certain this time next year his life will be better.
Ricks tells a Monk his life is meaningless for the next year and he’d rather skip over all the crap he has to go through.
This Monk, who speaks in parables and is obsessed with old episodes of Columbo, has the power to focus Rick’s obsession and make it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Rick wakes up a year later and has money but he’s not happy. He seeks out the Monk who is no help, but Sere, the Monks granddaughter and caretaker provides him a path.
Rick must learn the four immeasurable virtues of life and find out what gives him true happiness, by the next New Years eve or is old programming will become permanent or his life, and everyone he loves will pass him by.
As the Monk tells him, “Or the wheel of the cart will forever follow the Ox.”
If you like the concept, I’ll send the script.
BIO: Tom Basham wrote, directed and produced a film that won Best Picture at the International Family Film Festival in Hollywood, and produced three other feature films in distribution.
Email: Tom@sapfilms.com
IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1722276/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_2
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Tom’s Target Market
What I learned from this is you don’t need 50 movies to get 50 producers.
Title: A New Years Wish. Genre: Drama, Inspirational
Logline: A late-night radio host’s New Year’s wish comes true when he jumps forward a year ahead to his dream life until it becomes a nightmare, with only a year to learn how to live or his entire life will pass him by.
1. Make a list of five or more movies that are similar to yours and five actors that you might want to play your lead characters.
The Pursuit of Happiness
Soul Surfer
Where the Crawdads Sing
Love Hard
Hustle
Booksmart
Full Count
2. Using the Targeting process above, go to http://www.imdb.com and find 50 to 100 producers (or more) for your specific project.
Got 54 producers so far.
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Tom’s Phone Pitch
What I learned from this is being prepared for all this is good – it’s just they don’t have the same script I am reading from.
1. Tell us which of the four strategies you are going to use to open your pitch:
• Lead with credibility. I’m a produced Screenwriter
• Lead with a great title. A New Years Wish
• Lead with a strong business hook. Everyone makes a wish to themselves on New Years Eve
• Lead with a High Concept.
2. Give us your script for phone call pitches, like I did above.
I’m a produced screenwriter and I’d like to run a quick pitch by you.
Like most people, Rick has a wish on New Years Eve – to accomplish their goal by this time next year.
Rick tells a Monk his life is meaningless until then, and he’d rather skip over all the crap he has to go through.
This Monk, who speaks in parables and is obsessed with old episodes of Columbo, has the power to focus Rick’s obsession and make it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Rick wakes up a year later and has money but he’s not happy. He seeks out the Monk who is no help, but Sere, the Monks granddaughter and caretaker provides him a path.
Rick must learn the four immeasurable virtues of life and find out what gives him true happiness, by the next New Years eve or is old programming will become permanent, and his life, and everyone he loves will pass him by.
3. Give us a one or two sentence answer to the questions a producer may ask:
• What’s the budget range? 1 to 3 million
• Who do you see in the main roles? Kyle Allen and Ami Park
• How many pages is the script? 98 pages
• Who else has seen this? A Few small companies – and I have two coverages from industry professional with “recommend”
• Why do you think this fits our company? Perfect for this kind of gem of a movie.
• How does the movie end? Rick decides less money is more and gets the girl and the life he wil be happy in.
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Tom’s Pitch Fest Pitch
What I learned from this is the pitch needs to be exciting – intriguing and conversational.
1. Tell us your credibility.
Good afternoon, I’m Tom Basham, and I wrote, directed and produced a film that won Best Picture at the International Family Film Festival in Hollywood, and produced three other feature films in distribution.
2. Tell us your genre and title.
I have an inspirational drama called A NEW YEARS WISH.
3. What is your one or two sentence hook?
New Years Eve, we all take stock and have hope for the future.
Rick knows his life will be perfect this time next year, and he tells a Monk his life is meaningless until then, and he’d rather skip over all the crap he has to go through.
This Monk, who speaks in parables and is obsessed with old episodes of Columbo, has the power to focus Rick’s obsession and make it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Rick wakes up a year later and has money but he’s not happy. He seeks out the Monk who is no help, but Sere, the Monks granddaughter and caretaker provides him a path.
Rick must learn the four immeasurable virtues of life and find out what gives him true happiness, by the next New Years eve or is old programming will become permanent, and his life, and everyone he loves will pass him by.
As powerful as Christmas is, New Years cuts across all cultures and religions.
4. Please give your one or two sentence answer to each of these questions:
• What is the budget range? 1 to 3 Mill
• What actors do you like for the lead roles? Great roles for two up and coming actors in their 20’s, and a great role for an older actor.
• Give me the acts of the story.
Act 1: Rick tells a Monk on New Years Eve he knows his life will be great a year from now, and he wakes up the next morning and it’s year later.
Act 2: Rick has money but missed important things in the last year with his father and best friend. The Monk’s granddaughter tells him he must master the four immeasurable virtues to find true happiness.
Act 3: Rick struggles to master the four virtues, but as he stumbles he loses time again. He learns he must find true happiness before the year is out or his entire life will pass him by.
Act 4: Rick has to choose between his offered his dream job and what makes him happy – the final test in mastering the four.
• How does it end? (setup / payoff).
Rick goes from being knowing success and having others serve him will make him happy to knowing happiness in his heart in service of others.
• Credibility questions What have you done?
I have produced four indy features – one I have written.
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Tom’s Query Letter
What I learned from this is the recent work on hooks and synopsis really helped.
OPENING STATEMENT STUFF.
A NEW YEARS WISH. Genre:
Drama – Inspirational
It’s New Years Eve, and young Rick, like most people, is certain this time next year his life will be better.
Ricks tells a Monk his life is meaningless for the next year and he’d rather skip over all the crap he has to go through.
This Monk, who speaks in parables and is obsessed with old episodes of Columbo, has the power to focus Rick’s obsession and make it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Rick wakes up a year later and has money but he’s not happy. He seeks out the Monk who is no help, but Sere, the Monks granddaughter and caretaker provides him a path.
Rick must learn the four immeasurable virtues of life and find out what gives him true happiness, by the next New Years eve or is old programming will become permanent or his life, and everyone he loves will pass him by.
As the Monk tells him, “Or the wheel of the cart will forever follow the Ox.”
If you like the concept, I’ll send the script.
BIO: Tom Basham wrote, directed and produced a film that won Best Picture at the International Family Film Festival in Hollywood, and produced three other feature films in distribution.
Email: Tom@sapfilms.com
IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1722276/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_2
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Tom’s High Concept/Elevator Pitch
What I learned from this is crystalizing the pitch is really really hard.
High Concept Pitch:
A story about how most people feel on New Years Eve: This time next year my life will be great.
Elevator Pitch:
A young go-getter’s New Years Eve wish takes him from blind ambition to peace and serenity.
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Tom’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned doing this is that it’s really hard and healthy to distill the story down to a brief hooky synopsis.
It’s New Years Eve, and young Rick, like most people, are certain this time next year his life will be better.
Rick’s in such a hurry, he tells a Monk his life is meaningless for the next year and he’d rather skip over all the crap he has to go through.
This Monk, who speaks in parables and is obsessed with old episodes of Columbo, has the power to make Rick’s wish a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Rick wakes up a year later and has money but he’s not happy. He seeks out the Monk who is no help, but Sere, the Monks granddaughter and caretaker provides him a path.
Rick must learn the four immeasurable virtues of life and find out what gives him true happiness, or his life, and everyone he loves will pass him by.
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Tom’s 10 Most Interesting Things
What I learned about this is a better way to organize the pitch.
1. A story about the way most people feels on New Years Eve.
2. A young man programmed to work to be happy has to be reprogrammed to allow himself to be happy.
3. A young man makes a wish on New Years Eve to leap forward a year when he knows he will be successful and happy – but is only half right.
4. Rick meets a Monk can make a wish a self-fulfilling prophecy.
5. Now to stay present he must find out who and what gives him true happiness, or his life and everyone he loves will pass him by.
6. Rick has money but he’s not happy.
7. How many people swear, “I’ll be happy when – – – “
8. The journey to find happiness is different than the journey to find success.
9. Rick’s so involved in his quest for success he’s not there for his best friend, or his father and the results are tragic.
10. Rick does not know what it takes to change his programming.
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Tom’s Producer/Manager
What I learned from doing this is I have the background to interface with each of these.
Answer two questions:
1. How will you present yourself and your project to the producer?
My script fits a desirable place in the market – a Holiday Drama for New Years when everyone is tired of Christmas Movies and looking at themselves and a whole new year.
2. How will you present yourself and your project to the manager?
My specialty is character driven dramas. I understand what STOPS someone from looking at their significant other and tapping out on a movie 10 minutes in.
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Tom’s Marketable Components
What I learned doing this is that I have much better ways to pitch this story.
Title: A New Years Wish
Logline : A young go-getter is in such a hurry for success, he jumps forward a year in one night, and has to master the four immeasurable virtues to stay present and live in the moment, or his life will pass him by.
2. Look through the 10 Components of Marketability and pick one or two that have the most potential for selling this script.
• G. Wide audience appeal. It’s the human condition to examine your life on New Years Eve and hope you will be in a better place this time next year.
• J. A great role for a bankable actor.
G. Wide audience appeal: Most people examine their life on New Years Eve and imagine they will be in a better place this time next year. Theme is part of the human condition.
J. Great Role: A journey from blind ambition to peace and serenity. He must learn how to stay present or his life will actually pass him by.
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Tom Basham’s Project and Market
What I learned today is I should have saved what I posted on here the other day.
Genre: Holiday Drama
Title: A New Years Wish
Concept: A young man so anxious for success jumps forward a year in time and his life is better but what did he miss?
What I think is attractive about this is it’s the human condition – we are desperate to reach the hight of success and miss a life while we do it.
Will talk to Producer’s First and then Managers. I think there is a market for this script – for New Years – a not very well covered holiday.
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My name is Tom Basham.
I have written over a dozen screenplays.
I hope – PLAN – EXPECT to find more ways to get my writing to the right people in the industry.
I have been at this for a while, and I know I am good – BUT I lack the confidence to ring the bell and market with abandon.
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Tom Basham
I agree to the terms of this release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
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Tom’s Marketing Plan
What I learned is there is a coordinated approach to this process that allows a writer to BREAK IN to the industry. Maybe it’s a back door, but it is a way to earn your stripes and hone your craft and build your foundation for a career.
1. I will UPDATE my website (10 years since) and hone it for screenwriting.
2. Update by Linkedin profile to show I have done writing assignments and give my speciality.
3. Prepare the materials for a 30 day marketing run.
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Tom’s plan for increasing perceived value.
What I learned from this is that I am in an excellent position to be successful in this business.
Since much of what gets you deals and/or paid is perceived value, tell us your plan to increase your perceived value with producers.
1. What is your speciality? Describe your expertise in that speciality in one or two sentences.
My speciality is Drama. My expertise is character driven drama from unique characters that carry universal baggage.
2. How many producers do you have in your LinkedIn Network?
I have 1,200 in my network – at least half of them are solid.
A. Go to your LinkedIn page. In the search box, put in the word “producer.” Click Search.
B. When the list of producers comes up, it will be for all producers. On the right hand side, you’ll see boxes for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd. Click 1st.
C. With your search narrowed to producer and 1st connections, you’ll have an accurate number.
3. Looking at the list above titled “Increasing Your Perceived Value,” please tell us your plan for increasing your value in these three time frames:
A. Today: Decide on what writing samples I will improve.
B. In the next 30 days: Go out to 100 producers
C. In the next 6 months: Go out to 200 more producers
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Tom is a Note Taking Professional.
What I learned is the “what if game” can still open you up to creative possibilities that can work.
1. Tell us the logline of your treatment from the last assignment.
Johnny and his friends pull a Christmas prank to make people believe in Santa, but they end up saving this dying mining town and proving who put the stink in Stink Town.
2. Tell us how you would honor each of the following requests:
• Cut the budget in half: Cut basketball game, cut 3 locations and no train stunt.
• Write it for a different audience (quadrant). Make the three kids in their 30’s and disillusioned with the mine operation.
• Double the conflict. The Mayor is in on it.
• Change the sex and age of the lead character. Johnny the leader would be red headed woman.
• Change the genre. Turn the mine into a house of horrors with something evil down there.
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Duane’s Decreased Budget
What I learned doing this assignment is: even when you write the screenplay as low budget, there are still things you can do to reduce the budget.
1. Run through this list and tell us how many ways (at least five ways) you can decrease the budget on your High Budget screenplay and what changes you might make in the script to do that.
1. No basketball game – will just have aftermath in the locker room.
2. Reduce locations from 11 to 9.
3. Cut one of the night scenes
4. Cut a flashback scene.
5. Reduce the number of kids (teanagers) frm 5 to 3.
2. With a major scene that depends upon a “high budget variable,” take it through the process of finding another way to deliver on the dramatic goal.
Tell us about the high budget item
in your script that you are letting go of:The opening scene – the High School Basketball scene.
Ask, “What is the dramatic goal am I
trying to accomplish with this scene?”Show the difference between the lowly town kids and the kids from County.
Ask, “How can I accomplish the
dramatic goal without the expense?”:Can show the locker room – hear the BUZZER at the end of the game, the crowd roar, and the Town kids mope into the locker room, and plot another way to get back at the County kids.
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DUANE’S RE-WRITE ROLANDO’S FANTASTIC TREATMENT
What I learned doing this assignment is a good interview with the producer can be inspiring and a huge boost to creativity.
Title: Dead Meat
Genre: Thriller or This Little Piggy
Logline: A tragic accident with a pet pig at the pig slaughterhouse causes one Hog-Size of a man to take his revenge on Christmas Eve.
Christmas Eve is nearing in Miami. Without a juicy roast pig, no holiday dinner would be complete in the Magic City. SARINA, the boss at a pig slaughterhouse, recently took over the family business. She’s not well liked by her staff, because she stays in the office and doesn’t get her hands dirty. Most of them think she had something to do with her husband’s suspicious death. One that likes her is ELIO, her best butcher and a behemoth of a man who lost his hearing as a Marine in battle. A gentle giant, Elio lives a simple life with his pet pig, GUAVA, the runt of the litter, and turns his hearing aid off most of the time to not hear the relentless teasing from MARTINEZ and other employees because of his size hearing impairment.
The day before Christmas Eve, Elio brings Guava to work like usual. Guava sports a diamond earing that matches the one in Elio’s ear. In the middle of the busiest day of the year Guava escapes his confines and mixes in with the line of pigs to the kill room.
In a panic, Elio rumbles around the slaughterhouse searching for Guava and finally thunders into the kill room to find Guava electrically stunned on the bloody floor. Silently, Elio watches the bolt gun punch into Guava’s cranium. Elio takes aim at the smiling Martinez, who shrugs his shoulders and waves his crew in to remove Guava. Elio pummels Martinez and soon is taking on the entire killing crew. When other employees subdue Elio, the last thing he sees is Guava on a hook and Martinez putting Guava’s diamond stud earing into his ear.
Sarina has always looked for Elio, but as she pulls of her blood soaked Jimmy Choo’s she fires him. He begs for his job, but Sarina stands her ground. Serena has to spend the rest of the day shuffling staff and tells her assistant, GINA, she will not go to the bank covered in blood and puts the $ 200K cash haul from the holiday sales in the safe. “I’ll go to the bank after the staff party tomorrow,” she tells Gina.
As the sun sets, Gina walks home through the Trailer Park and sees a drunk Elio packing up his car. Gina goes into the trailer next door and tells her boyfriend, KNOX and his brother G.W. that “tomorrow is the payday we’ve been waiting for.” Knox and G.W. stroll over to Elio’s with several bottles of liquor and rile him up and sets him on a path of revenge.
Christmas Eve is a hectic day at the slaughterhouse. Pigs get slaughtered and picked up by customers and a 4 pm the closed sign goes on. Sarina pulls on her new rubber boots and strides through the facility telling the staff to come to the break room for a party and finds an employee dead. She rushes to call ‘911,’ but the phone line is down. No Wi-Fi. She tells the employees about the murder and that they must leave, but all the exit doors are chained shut. SHOTS are fired and Sarina turns on the facility wide PA system and says: “There’s no way out for any of us, so we have to do what we do best.” The remaining employees scramble to grab knives, hooks, bolt guns and every instrument of death they can find.
Sarina directs her staff like a field General, but Elio is too big and too strong and one by one the employees fall. The last thing they hear is Elio screaming “Martinez!.” The death toll climbs with his viscous assault using everything he learned in the military. Martinez begs for his life as Elio bites off his ear with the diamond earing.
Sarina runs smack into Elio and they both stare at each other in shock. She pleads with him, but notices his hearing aid as been ripped out and his ear bleeds down his massive body. A mob of employees attack Elio and he goes down for the first time. Sarina escapes to a hatch in the roof. She can and see the cell tower in the distance spitting sparks and smoking.
G.W. and Knox run through the slaughterhouse acting like scared employees and make their way to the office. Knox finds the safe and starts at the hinges with a small phosphorus cutting torch.
Sarina is pulled down from the roof by CARLOS, one of her newer employees. He confesses that he has been working undercover for an animal rights organization. His group planned a documentary to expose the slaughterhouse methods. Sarina is upset, but she realizes that it pales in comparison to their current issue. Carlos reveals he has a satellite phone hidden near the pig feed. They find the phone and Sarina calls 911, but G.W. clubs her in the head and runs Carlos through with a machete.
G.W. drag Sarina to the office to find Knox exasperated with the safe. Knox points the torch at Sarina and demand the combination. Sarina screams and Knox and G.W. scream and laugh and Knox holds the torch up to her face. Knox grips the bloody machete and wipes the blood off using her silk blouse. She gives up the combination, and Knox turns the dial and reveals the stacks of cash.
Knox and G.W. load the cash in a bag as Elio bust through the door with a hook and long carving knife. Elio goes to work on Knox and G.W. as Sarina recoils in fear. He grabs Knox and slams him against the desk, sending the picture of Sarina’s Father across the room, shattering the glass. It’s a brawl. Elio is strong, but Knox is quicker. He electrically zaps Elio and gains the upper hand until Sarina slams the postage machine down on Knox’s head. G.W. comes at Elio with the torch but Elio breaks his arm in two and the lit torch falls to the floor. Elio crushes G.W.’s skull with his fist and his lifeless body falls to the floor. Elio turns his attention to Sarina.
Elio appears to try to speak, but he works the diamond earing to his lips and with bloddy hands, jabs it into his ear. Sarina stands, straightens her blouse and snuffs out the torch. Sarina hears the police siren, but of course Elio does not. She looks at the bag of cash and back to Elio. Elio drops his weapon, and bends down to pick the bag of cash. Sarina plunges the machete into his back and Elio collapses on the floor.
Sarina recovers her father’s picture, stands it back on her desk and pours a whisky. She sips the whisky watching the Christmas lights twinkle on the tree.
The End.
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Rolando — do you want to partner up on a Producer call? Let me know – and can email me at tom@sapfilms.com
thanks
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Duane’s Fantastic Treatment
What I learned doing this is the treatment has to be much stronger than the synopsis.
Title: Christmas Comes to Stink Town
Genre: Drama – Holiday
Logline: Johnny and his friends pull a Christmas prank to make people believe in Santa, but they end up saving this dying mining town and proving who put the stink in Stink Town.
TREATMENT
Four Act Structure
The reservoir above the town is covered I green slime. The sign to town has the name “Montgomery, West Virginia” marked out with spray paint and Stink Town written over it. The High School is surrounded by wire fencing and KEEP OUT signs. The School was shut down last year for maintenance problems and the continuing decrease in student population. The kids are now bussed to County – Leland County High School.
Three High School Seniors, Johnny, Harley (Legs) and Tammy, hot off their Basketball Game loss to County, decide to show their anger by messing with the Town’s Nativity Scene. The put the baby Jesus on top of the flag pole at the High School. Johnny notices lights on in the Gym and investigates and hears work going on under the gym floor.
A witness to this is Jelly, the town rummy. That’s a nickname he earned at the hearing from the Newspapers who said he had a spine like a Jelly Fish, as he was blamed for the mine accident. Jelly moves the wise men, and the animals over to the fence so they can see the rise of baby Jesus.
The next day, a journalist in town, Heather, who graduated from the High School is taking care of her mother, notices the Nativity has been altered and takes sunrise photos of this and posts it on her Instagram. The story goes viral.
Hamilton Montgomery, the mine owner, demands the Mayor move up the sale of the school property so he can buy it for almost nothing.
Two nights later, Johnny, Legs and Tammy take a Rudolf from a display and plant him on top of a load of coal in a dump truck just before it pulls out. They lean Santa up against the fence looking at the school and try to break into the Gym but are scared off by the cops.
Montgomery sees this on his security cameras, and has the Town police bring the boys to him. Montgomery’s son, Stephen (Johnny’s nemesis on County’s Basketball team) tells him Johnny could be useful, so Montgomery offers him a job. Johnny takes it, as a way to get inside the operation, but soon they give him a raise and a company car.
The journalist (who went to the town Highschool) does a follow up story about Santa and pitches a series about the Town, the Mine and the soon to be lost High School.
Legs and Tammy decide to break into the School again, but Johnny decides he will keep lookout. Legs and Tammy get in and go under the Gym and find a mining operation with men in haz-mat suits. They follow a long tunnel that comes out on the Mine property, where they are captured by Mine Security. Johnny sees this but can’t help them. Jelly, who was walking around the Mine perimeter fence, also has watched the Mine Security take the kids.
The next morning, the parents report the kids as missing. There are more siting’s of Santa and Baby Jesus around town in odd places – done by Jelly, but nobody knows he did this. Johnny shows up to work like nothing happened. Johnny looks around and notices a series of train cars coming into the Mine property and Rudolf is there too – half buried in the train car of coal. Now Johnny knows they are just making it look like they are mining coal.
Johnny finds his friends in the old, now restricted, area of the mine in a locked room. Johnny tries to free them, but he is captured and thrown in with them.
Jelly goes to the Heather and tells her he will tell her what happened 30 years ago, but she has to get him into the Mine operation. She arranges an interview with Montgomery and takes Jelly along. Jelly fakes being sick, and tries to free to boys, but they have been taken lower in the mine, where the accident happened.
Jelly is too late as the mine shaft, with the boys in it, starts to fill up with water. Jelly pulls an alarm, and is taken by security.
Johnny, Legs and Tammy rely on stories from their Dads and Uncle to find a way out of the Mine.
Montgomery stops the interview and Heather is removed from the property. She goes live on the her Instagram for the paper and begins to tell her story. The town people gather to hear her as Mine security arrives.
Jelly escapes through the same secret passage he used thirty years ago, and tells the journalist he knows where the kids are.
Everyone arrives at the reservoir and there are no kids in site. Jelly starts to cry, “I thought for sure they’d make it.” WOOSH – the kids are spit out of a water discharge pipe from the Mine. They same pipe that continued to carry sulfur to the reservoir and cause the smell.
State Police show up and the Town police and Mine Security stand down.
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Title: Christmas Comes to Stink Town
Genre: Drama
Logline: Johnny and his friends pull a Christmas prank to make people believe in Santa, but they end up saving this dying mining town and proving who put the stink in Stink Town.
Synopsis:
Johnny and his crew pull a prank that leads the Town to believe in Santa. This exposes something odd going on at the old Mine. It’s a Company town, so the Mine owner is protected at all costs.
When Johnny and his friends get caught breaking into the Mine, the cops take them to Montgomery – the mine owner. Johnny’s rival on the basketball court is Montgomery’s son, so Johnny is given a job at the mine.
Johnny’s friends think they have an inside man, but Johnny is given a raise and a company car and starts to toe the Company line.
When Johnny’s friends go back in, they don’t know if Johnny will help, or side with the people who profit from sucking the life out of the town.
These kids find out the mine is a place where many souls go to die and they find out who put the stink in Stink Town.
Johnny tries to save his friends but is thrown in with them to die in the next tragic mining accident.
Only through their roughneck experience in life and stories from their older relatives that worked the mines are the kids able to escape.
It takes one more big Santa Claus prank on Christmas Day to expose Montgomery and bring him to justice.
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Duane’s Key Business Decisions:
What I learned by doing this is that I still enhance the business decisions of this project.
1. Give us the decisions that are in your current High Budget script:
Genre: Holiday Drama
Title: A New Years Wish
Concept: A young go-getter is in such a hurry for success, he jumps forward a year in one night, and has to master the four virtues of to stay present and live in the moment, or his life will pass him by.
Audience: Men and Women over 25
Budget: 1 to 3 mil
Lead Characters: Great Male and Female leads
Journey / Character Arc: A young man goes from obsessed with sucecss to obsessed with enjoying life.
Opening / Ending: Opens with Rick jumping ahead a year after a New Years Even party, and ends with Rick realizing he is not in a hurry to live his life.
2. Tell us which of those decisions you could improve to make your script more marketable.
Could improve the ending to make it more powerful
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Lesson 3: Choosing Your Specialty
Subject line: Duane Basham / Specialty — Family Drama
What I learned doing this assignment:
The presence of strong conflict and opposing characters with different agendas keeps us entertained in this drama. The family secrets people try to keep helps to keep us enganged.
1. Tell us your specialty: Family Drama
A Family Drama refers to a dramatic story with an emphasis on the characters intimate relationships and their responses to the unfolding plot and events in their lives
2. Here are the two movies in this genre I’m watching for this lesson.
The Family Stone – 2005
Home for the Holidays – 1995
3. Here are a few of my favorite films in this genre:
Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolf
August Osage County
4. As you watch each movie, take notes on how that movie fulfills the key parts of your genre.
The Family Stone – Genre listed: Comedy, Drama & Romance
How it delivered on the genre conventions:
The movie uses a family Christmas gathering to bring all the family together and introduce the new person – SJP. She is a “fish out of water” in this family and finds it impossible to get them to like her – and it makes her question her relationship.
Movie outline with key genre plot points:
– Opens with SJP being very busy and involved in her career.
– SJP and Everett arrive at his family’s house and she makes a bad first impression.
– Everett asks his mother for the Grandmother’s ring and she says NO
– Midpoint – SJP has had enough and bolts. Ben goes to find her.
– Everett goes with her sister to find her – and she gets the ring stuck on her finger
– Ben gets her drunk and talks her into staying
– SJP wakes up in Ben’s bed the next morning and the Dad sees them.
– SJP says she will not marry Everett
– SJP moves on with Ben
– Next Christmas all is good
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Duane’s Credibility is Going Up!
What I learned doing this assignment is the importance of auditing your credibility to gauge where you stand.
I have lots of credibility – I look like a player – a guy that has done things.
2 or 3 steps I will take in the next 30 days to increase your credibility?
1) Consolidate my credibility into a few lines for a powerful brief bio.
2) Enhance my Linkedin bio and presence.
3) Get my damn confidence up where it belongs.
CREDIBILITY CHECKLIST
1. Your Writing Sample
My writing sample has received a “Recommend,” from SU and Barb at Extreme Screenwriting.
2. Screenwriting Accomplishments
I have written, directed and produced an award winning feature film and produced three other films that are in distribution. Finalist at Austin Film Festival and attended a Sundance Screenwriting Week.
3. The Google factor
Google your name. How many items on the first page show you as a professional screenwriter?
My IMDB and Linkedin link shows up along with a Coverfly link. appears at the top.
4. Your Network
How many producers are in your network? How many Connections do you have who are connected to producers?<div>
I have 1,248 connections and about 700 of them are producers.
5. Education specific to screenwriting
MSC 15 – Sundance Screenwriting Week – Mentioned in Dave Trotier’s Screenwriting Bible.
6. Borrowed Credibility
Having trouble coming up with anything here.
7. IMDB CREDITS
What credits show up there for you?
Two writer (one feature one short)
Two director ( one feature one short)
Five producer ( 4 features one short
8. Other forms of credibility that are related to screenwriting:
Novels – 2
Produced 4 indie features in distribution
Reader for Austin Film Festival, Judge for Bedford Film Festival, Speaker for Skyline Film Festival
* Possible things you can do to increase your credibility in the future?
Increase my linkedin strength by reaching out more and begin a track record of writing assignments.
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1. Name? Duane (Tom) Basham
2. How many scripts you’ve written? Losing count – over a dozen
3. What you hope to get out of the class? To develop a pathway to getting paid for my experience and expertise.
4. Something unique, special, strange or unusual about you? I started over 20 years ago screenwriting – I have attended a Sundance Screenwriting Conference (2007) and have written, directed and produced an award winning feature film.
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Duane’s Projects and Insights
1. Go to the forums and sign the Group Confidentiality Agreement. DONE!
2. Introduce yourself to the group while you are there. DONE!
3. Tell us the two projects you’re bringing into this class and give us a budget range for each; each project must be:
a. An idea that you would like to create. Mom’s Last Christmas $ 1,000,000
b. A finished script. A New Years Wish $3,000,000
4. Tell us what you learned from the opening teleconference. From the opening video I learned there is a process and a set of skills and mindset that allow me to be successful.
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Tom Basham
I agree with the terms and conditions beloe
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Rita – see my thoughts and suggestions. Sounds like a great story!
Feel free to review mine if you like – and have time.
BLUE MOON
Romantic Comedy
True love only comes once in a Blue Moon… after you fake your way into owning a business you know nothing about.
When Dawn meets a handsome contractor she pretends to own a painting company and signs a contract to finish one of his projects.
For a psychology professor, this is quite the quandary.
She enlists a collection of otherwise unemployable folks and it’s the blind leading the blind (need something non-cliché).
The only problem is that she’s actually a psychology professor who just lectured her class about authenticity so now she has to gather up some workers and get the job done.
Where else to find a paint crew but by plucking random losers from a parking lot?
*** In some areas “undocumented workers” gather in parking lots looking for day work, so best not to call them random losers.
Will Dawn be able to fool him long enough for them to learn to paint like pros?
When he ask her out to dinner, will Dawn have to tell the truth or try to build this relationship on lies?
Either way, she has painted herself into a corner.
If you like this concept, I’ll be happy to send you the script.
Sincerely,
Rita Doyle Roberts