Trish Carothers
Forum Replies Created
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Paul, I had same problem with dates, for which I had to contact Customer Service and they fixed it right away. Msgs re should appear in your email within a day or maybe 2…not sure they work on weekends.
Also, some other weird things…like incorrectly naming the movie to watch and comment on. Hope you have it cleared up soon.
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I didn’t really like this movie. It wasn’t funny. A testosterone dump on Greg by nearly everyone in the family and Kevin, including his fiance…a complete spineless loser “Daddy’s Girl.” Greg should have dumped her and driven away very fast. Not that he’s a gem…he’s a convenience liar, just trying to impress the parents and his fiance, to be included which many people can relate to, even to the point of verbally, emotionally, and spiritually beating Up Greg. Not planning to use this in a rewrite..
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What I learned is that I do not yet know how or where in the script I can use this scene although perhaps in the midpoint or slightly b4 or after, unless I use the test on a scene already written towards the end…
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What I learned about rewriting my scene is to pump up the emotive power and difficult choices for the characters involved. Excited and thrilled to see what I can accomplish.
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What I learned about the scene I am deciding to rewrite is that it will be much more emotionally impactful for both characters who are allies in a dangerous situation. Not rewritten yet but definitely inspired
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Interesting dynamic between will, the “son” and Sean the “father” figure. The scene is powerful in emotion and attack – deflect. Will wants confrontation because he feels safe in that emotion of defensive anger…and don’t we all. Then Sean’s repeated declaration of “It’s not your fault.” A gentle rain of repeated caring on the ears and emotion of Will until Will cracks open…and can’t we relate…if we have been so fortunate to have had this experience of release of long held shuttered emotions. And Will doesn’t even see it coming until it’s there.
And Sean’s face tells of his own emotional catharsis because of his work with Will, Will’s powerful response, and I suspect Sean’s own acceptance of his wife’s death…that wasn’t his fault either. Powerful writing coupled with powerful emotions, and acting…amazing.
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Week 4, Day 2 – Walking Dead
I’m not into movies like this one. No interest, even if the writing is considered by some aspects good – questionable. However, the grim moment of shooting a child and seeing the bullet hole for shock value, doesn’t necessarily mean “great writing.” At least, to me.
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What makes this writing great is the way the writer teases us with stupid prosecutor questions followed by snappy saucy replies…from a woman, especially as she gets into the details of multiple cars. What a hoot as the writer tricks us with this successful twist on our expectations. The chewing gum was a nice bit of characterization. A nice example of attack/ counterattack.
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What I learned from this assignment is that one of my characters has similar issues and I need to write at least one of his scenes better using Rudy as a somewhat template as far as challenges, character traits like perseverence, facing danger, pain, and possible failures-training experiences. There are many ways to incorporate and imagine the story.
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Week 3, Day 5
Don’t we always root for the underdog? Here’s Rudy, with so much against him: a shrimp among giants. How can he overcome this glaring handicap playing for Notre Dame football against guys that weigh more, are taller, are beefier? In practice they cream hom; in the final game everyone cheers him…why? Because he has the most important traits: heart, determination, perseverance, fight, team spirit which he inspires in the team. He is the winner because of those traits even if he had lost the game. Great writing because the writer overcomes our disbelief as we follow Rudy to Success.
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Wow! The drama, the intrigue, the acting, the world they created..from writing. Writing a script. The glorious birth of Neo…meaning “New.” I’m in awe. Keanu Reeves…I cannot imagine now anyone else on this role…he is Neo.
Pwerful support team for his journey for his re- birth. I laughed because he chose the “red pill!” And away he went into the real world, sucked out if the Matrix…many people can relate to that with every insight and breakthrough they have ever experienced themselves. Though to see it on-screen in such a dramatic way…maybe not. What a thrill to watch Neo’s hand raise up and fight through the membrane, to see his stunned amazement at the AI machine. Then snatched out of the embrionic state and Flushed away as refuse..not a word spoken…simply experienced. My heart stood still. Action: yes! Emotion: yes! Relateability: yes! Traits: Courage, yes Deb – curiosity, no fear, wonder, willing to go where…and immense trust. Definitely a turning point of such power…he will never be the same. There’s no going back…only forward into his future. Can we do as much…or more.
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My script isn’t finished either. That said, every class of this course generates new insights and additions to characterization. Love the creativity
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Amazing what cinematography and actors/directors can add to simple conversation. The attraction is obvious between them: caring motions, loving touches, loving looks, connecting on a deeper level, trying to be real, though how real can it be with a falling down alcoholic? Ever. Gaga actually recognizes who he is while doing her song, which presupposes her hidden agendas, as does her singing. Is she just a user? Maybe. Although coming out of the dressing room, she seems vulnerable. Not sure Cooper feels vulnerable here…and if so, might be a combination of being unsure in the presence of someone who wants to know the man not just the star. and mawkish sentimentality. Maybe clearer with a viewing of the whole movie.
At this point, can’t see either of them living into their futures, although there are small hints that something might happen between them in the future…his comment – “You could be a songwriter.”
Traits: her scrappiness in the fight which will come in handy in the music industry. She can be tender, insightful, and fearless. He is already a “success” music wise but his personal life is crap. He can be caring and thoughtful and romantic…is that real, a drunken fantasy, a star’s is habit, or can I get you to bed before I pass out moves? Too early to tell.
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Ps…Unsure what their wounds are but both are needy and that could be the engine that drives their relationship…until one or both no longer have those need(s) fulfilled in their futures …or not.
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What I learned is that on one major scene I thought was mostly about love that must end for main characters, I can put onto their emotional leave taking comments that incidently tie into a different lead character they don’t even know but have a commonality with that adds cohesiveness to the whole story. Might use it again for a different tie in to cohesiveness.
Secondly, breakthrough on seeding comments that point to their futures in a coming scene.
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What I learned from this example is that my huge scen is of antagonists who never come to a moment like Horse and Red. I would like to have this as an ongoing problem that eventually becomes friendship or love…and have several places but not a continuous arc. Will need to re- examine scenes and/or characters for possible areas. I love the way that each movie and questions jogs and percolate new ideas and deeper meanings.
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On the surface, it would be a miracle if Seabiscuit and anybody, including Red, could become friends. The horse is wild and barely controlable in general for anyone. RED’S VIOLENCE IS LIMITED TO A MOMENT IN TIME. ONCE IT’S OVER, IT’S OVER. Looking at the two for similarities is the anger, bravado, and violence expressed as an underlying base of fear and thus self-protection.
The drama of this scene occurs because of perceived attack and then defend in both characters, horse and boy.
The cofrontations reveal that a wound exists. For the boy, it may be a rough life built on abandonment and defense to survive. For the horse, we can’t tell but can guess at repeated mishandling of some sort…but the same fear, hurt, anger and subsequent violence and self-protection as the boy.
For the same traits as mentioned above, the horse and the boy are both the “right characters.”
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Boyh characters are living into their future.
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What I noticed is that I have several triangle relationships already in play. What I learned is that several are just Too nice! Definitely planning rewrites for added tension and action.
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Love triangles create tension and intrigue and this triangle is fought with those Whose dominant? Two guys thumping their chests, one woman managing the situation. She does her best but she’s no lion tamer. Danny has the advantage because he and Tess have history. Terry can’t really overcome that so he uses his and Tess’ present relationship and the freedom to touch Tess intimately as his high cards. Only Tess’ high card of allowing Terry’s high cards to be significant. So it’s two against one. So Danny appears to lose face. We wonder what’s going to happen and to whom.
Danny ‘s secret is that he is robbing the casino, and he keeps it even though he wants his wife back. He tries to create those ties with Tess but no go. Can’t tell if Tess has a secret by reading this scene. Or Terry,, unless he’s using Tess to beat Danny up emotionally.
Danny needs his wife’s love – he’s risking a lot to even talk to her. It seems like tess still loves Danny but she’s hurt and now doesn’t trust him. Terry is a smuck and doesnt really trust Tess, much mess have feelings for her…he’s a machine!
What is the conflict between the points of the triangle. There are two points of conflict between Danny and Terry: Danny’s prison past and his wife; Danny and Tess: past and present and possible future?; Tess and Danny present, past, possible future and Tess’ relationship with Terry. Complex and intriguing…how are they all going to resolve these issues.
The drama this scene is built around is a casino robbery revolving around the passions of the triangles.
The profile traits that showed up between Danny and Terry are intelligence, wit, pride, chess players, and excellent planners. Danny may be a liar but he’s honest about his feelings for Tess. Terry is an emotional liar who is using Tess to wound Danny, which works.
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What a great movie and great acting. Two seemingly very different men about to go on a journey together, if they can agree on Terms, Don – wealthy snobbish piano virtuoso singularly alone except for the “help,” and Tony the typical stereotypical Italian bronx character, rough, togh, very little education, street fighter- a survivalist who doesn’t take ant putdowns. The money is fair,but Tony sees an apportunity – based on Don’s clothes and appartment and address to up it a bit. But he won’t be any man’s stooge, valet, butler or dogsbody. That’s the clincher for him – not the money.
What Does Don see – a tough guy who is no man’s slave or toady – and Don needs that tough guy where he’s going who has no fear, can’t be bought or intimidated.
It’s clear they are mismatched in : clothes, style, language, education, talents, demeanor, attitude towards each other, behaviorist, and place in society.
They both have to get over their own misconceptions and assumptions about each other or this job/relationship won’t work, and it almost doesn’t until Don caves on the money.
From this scene its difficult to see any living into their futures. I liked Deb’s point about Don stepping down “off his throne”, with his flowing white and gold robe, but in this scene is it enough to think that Tony’s stepping into any future for sure? Not really, except for a road trip. Even if you you add Tony getting the job, so what. It’s just a job that ends back at home with his family..But what has he gained? A powerful, famous lifelong friend who finally accepts Tony as he is; Tony’s internal changes are significant, and he broadens his experiences and mind. These paragraphs speak to some of the traits of both men.
I liked and enjoyed Sandeeps analysis of their similarities making them more alike than different.
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Worthy opponents indeed. One I liked immensely, Holliday, and the other I loathed immensly. Great opposites. Watching Holliday’s casual mockery of Ringos “terror” display is hilarious, a wonderful twist – thank you writer! If he’s this intelligent and humorous when drunk, what must he have been sober. Sadness for Holliday’s dilemma – how to live life while dying, and sadness for Ringo and what might have been if he had chosen his life differently. It’s like seeing both sides of the same coin, but one side is shinier. But then, we wouldn’t have the joy of this movie, one of the best.
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I agree with
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I agree up front with David Moe’s analysis of poer struggles. We see it immediately as the “whites” enter the room. Thd discriminatory student comment that Herman kills with a look.. a look…amazing. Then he melts the assistant coach, finally he faces the coach in a subtle power play…”Who are you?” comment, which doesn’t intimidate Hermon. The coach gets power-packed when Hermon tells him that he’s the coaches replacement. Nobody physically hit anyon,anyone, but there is definitely a winner and some losers…like the team record.
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I learned that adding and deepening traits helped the characters become more complex humans. And more “alive” on the page and the mind. My first complexity is a power balance/imbalance which flips, and eventually flips again, and then again. Fun times.
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What’s not to love about love and romance, especially when a cutie-pie like Jonah is operating like a marriage broker. I fell in love right away. What makes Sam a great character is that he’s sensitive, funny, patient, kind, loving – wife and son,- and believes that falling in love is “magic,” which captures Annie’s imagination and belief in magic herself. She’s sweet, needy, emotional, empathetic, saucy and intrigued. It’s cosmic, as someone mentioned elsewhere, love across a continent. Without phones and Jonah, though, they might never have met. The potential for sweet love that’s improbable draws the audience into the movie and creates intrigue…we want to know how true love is going to happen…or not happen (wince).
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It is a challenge Jim and I am with you on this
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That is the best reason I have heard for joining. Thanks Sandeep!
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Hey Sandeep…I am old school! I dont do Twitter, but for the duration of this class and your safety concerns, I will do that. I will send you my text as soon as I set up Twits. Thanks
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Thanks Leona: email is trish94c183@gmail.com
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Hi Leona. If u r ready now for fb, then I am ready now too. Not sure how 2 do it. I put my email on site so can get fb and move forward also. I’m already behind! Arg…
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As per your question on sending a file, I prefer Word Perfect 93, unless we can find a waY 2 do pdf
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Hi Sandeep. Would you like to exchange feedback. I will b glad to do fb on yours when you are ready
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Karyn, I loved your analysis, especially the fear, which I either missed or was running underneath the intense emotional acting in this scene. The wound exposure was phenomenal, and I like how you addressed that.
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What I learned from doing this assignment is how pale and unreal my characterizations are. To challenge myself to imagine and create real actions and responses from my characters as real people living real lives, as they once did, is the goal, not just going from A to Z. To see such excellent writing and acting is both intimidating and inspiring.
Minnie Driver is excellent in this role, as is Matt Damon. Matt Damon is over the top, highly emotional and convincing in his hurt and rage. He is quite unprepared after sex with Driver to be confronted with 1) her request that he move to California to be with him, and 2) to be confronted with her accurate assessment of his wound. The two states, bliss vs pain is too much for him to handle. The pain button Driver hits is very apparent. It literally catapults him into the atmosphere of emotional rage. He immediately distances himself from her touch, then follows it up by beating her up emotionally as payback, purposefully. His incendiary response triggers her own wound and sensitivity, attacking her mercilessly and noisily sends her into the stratosphere of need – a disappointment for her agenda. seemingly so innocent. In this scene, Driver shows her courage and bravery to even bring up the issues, facing them head-on, and acknowledging her need as she begs him to be honest with her. A scene that is in the face of the audience and for those with these issues, brutal, emotional, and convincing. Wow! Terrific writing.
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LESSON 4 – WK 1 – CHARACTERS ASSIGN
What I learned re-writing my scene/character is that several re-writes are necessary because the layering of ideas, motives, depth, and vision are complex. It can be occurring on the first write, but complexity is revealed as the mind works, the subconscious brings up hidden connections, memories, and results. It’s actually exciting to see what else can be revealed to the writer of my/our own creativity and exploration into the darkness of my imaginary campfire.
INSIGHTS AND BREAKTHROUGHS about what makes this character great: For all three characters, Just because you love someone doesn’t mean that everything they do is okay. If the person violates a standard or expectation, they may not be forgiven. For Kate: Best beware of what you reveal around a cozy campfire in the dark when confessions seem easy and confidence in the other person is not questioned. She appears shy and vulnerable at the campfire. Perhaps her secret is too heavy for her to carry alone anymore, if in truth she is guilty. Her motives are different from Sawyer’s and Jack’s, as are their motives. Jack is conflicted because if he loves her, how is he ever going to accept that she is wanted for murder? Sawyer seems a bit too cool for someone who’s supposed to be in love with Kate. His challenges in the drinking game seem random, but are geared to finding out Kate’s secret through trickery. If one of the rules is honesty, then presumably Sawyer is not being honest while Kate seems to trust him with her secret.
How is Kate’s secret set up? Kate’s secret is set up in the love triangle, and the jealousy that the two men are experiencing. It seems highly important to them to find it out, but neither one expects it to be something so portentous.
What causes demand to know what the secret is?: In the set up section of the assignment, Sawyer and Jack both want to know what Kate’s secret is, thinking that it must be something about each of them or one of them, or about her or about the love triangle relationship perhaps probably who’s on first. But they have no idea and don’t have a clue as to how wrong they are.
How is Kate’s Secret Revealed?: Her secret is revealed by trickery from Sawyer in a “simple” game where one of the rules is honesty. Kate is unaware that she is being set up and strung along by the innocuous nature of Sawyers questions, until he plays her by saying he’s never killed a man. He either doesn’t know what her answer will be, or he suspects it. He definitely wants to know it. Perhaps he knows about the wanted poster too. This would be a good place for Kate to lie.
What drama is this scene built around?: The drama is built around honesty, and trickery.
What traits showed up in these character’s words and actions?: For Kate: a certain vulnerability, trust in Sawyer, trust in a silly game, and perhaps honesty about killing her husband. Or pathetic weakness. For Sawyer: conniving, user, insincere, a player = dishonest and manipulative. For Jack: passionate, caring, unforgiving, cruel, betrayed and wounded.
3 DIFFERENT REVEALS ABOUT KATE
A. DEMAND: Marshall dying, giving Jack the wanted poster on Kate.
B. ADMISSION: Sawyer gets Kate to admit her secret.
C. WHAT Kate does: Kate tells the truth about her secret because of the way Sawyer phrases his questions in a silly drinking game. She’s honest, he’s deceptive.
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LESSON 3 – WEEK 1
Bagger Vance: Comes out of the darkness, perhaps the deep area of his own psyche. What makes this character great is his sense of humor – catches more worms, his persistence in attaining his goal…hired by Junah, his obvious expertise with a golf club, his sartorial presentation – his best self, presented and his respect for himself, and his impertability, he knows that he knows, he wants to help Junah, and the evidence that he can spot a problem and fix it.
Junah: Is coming from failure. Which shows up in his golfing and his attitude. He is behaving like a loser. What makes this character great is his lack of clothes sense – he isn’t dressing like a success – his mood has affected even his clothing and the viewer knows immediately that he’s just playing. His “swing” is off, and no matter how many balls he hits, it’s off. He isn’t even listening to the sound of the club hitting the ball, otherwise he would be doing something different. He’s just out there passing time. After some time and interaction, he crankily forces Bagger to handle the golf club but then he is convinced that Bagger has wisdom and hires him-a smart move.
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GROUP RELEASE FORM
I Patricia Carothers, As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
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LESSON 8
Trish’s Profound Endings
What I learned by doing this assignment is
1. My Profound Truth is face your challenges and evolve into who you really are.
a. Delivered by Harald and Thorenssen, the adventurers, and Elisiv and Bettina their new wives leaving for Norway.
2. My Lead Characters – Change Agent and Transformable Character come to an end that represents the completed change by leaving the “Old Ways” that no longer work, and embracing the “New Ways” that offer hope and accomplishments to move forward in life.
a. Old Ways: fears of death, leaving family behind, self-centeredness, limiting beliefs about abilities, who they are.
b. New Ways: embracing possible death, creating new “family,” learning to love another, trusting, anticipating their destinies, valuing life to the fullest.
3. What are the setups/payoffs that complete in the end of this movie.
a. The payoff of finding a new family
b. The payoff of finding their courage, of facing the worst, death, which gives them new life based on bravery and honesty.
c. The payoff of finding what’s of real value in life.
d. The payoff of finding love in a war so far from home.
4. How am I designing it to have the audience see an inevitable ending and then making it surprising when it appears.
a. The gains in experience and bravery that Harald embodies
b. The grousing of the men to return home
c. The wealth that Harald and the men have accumulated
d. The baptism in the River Jordan
e. The death of Rongvald and promise to return home
f. The return to Kiev
g. Elisiv and Harald in the garden at night.
5. What is the Parting Image/Line that leaves us with the Profound Truth in our minds. The parting image is of Harald, Thorensson, their wives and a cadre of warriors around them as they ride out of the city, and look at each other. Harold grins at Thorensson, grasps his shoulder and says, “Well, old friend, we ride for Norway, toward our futures, either life or death, God alone knows” Laughing, they kick their horses into a canter, ready to go home at last. Elisiv and Bettina role their eyes and grin, then high 5. After all, the men wouldn’t even be here without them.
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LESSON 8
Trish’s Profound Endings
What I learned by doing this assignment is that the characters interact, and ideas for the expansion on top of ideas evolves. Can see why revisions are so necessary, and why so many are recommended.
1. My Profound Truth is face your challenges and evolve into who you really are.
1. Delivered by Harald, Thorensson, Bettina, and Elisiv as they leave Kiev: Harald says: “Well, old friend, we ride for Norway, toward our futures, either life or death, God alone knows” Laughing, they kick their horses into a canter, ready to go home at last. Elisiv and Bettina role their eyes and grin, then high 5 and urge their horses to catch up. After all, the men wouldn’t even be here without Bettina and Elisiv.
2. My Lead Characters – Change Agent and Transformable Character come to an end that represents the completed change by leaving the “Old Ways” that no longer work, and embracing the “New Ways” that offer hope and accomplishments to move forward in life.
3. What are the setups/payoffs that complete in the end of this movie.
a. The payoff of finding a new family
b. The payoff of finding their destinies
c. The payoff of finding their courage, of facing the worst, death, which gives them new life based on bravery and honesty.
d. The payoff of finding what’s of real value in life.
e. The payoff of finding love in a war so far from home.
4. How am I designing it to have the audience see an inevitable ending and then making it surprising when it appears.
a. The gains in experience and bravery that Harald embodies
b. The grousing of the men to return home
c. The wealth that Harald and the men have accumulated
d. The baptism in the River Jordan
e. The death of Rongvald and promise to return home
f. The return to Kiev
g. Elisiv and Harald in the garden at night.
5. What is the Parting Image/Line that leaves us with the Profound Truth in our minds. The parting image is of Harald, Thorensson, their wives and a cadre of warriors around them as they ride out of the city, and look at each other. Harold grins at Thorensson, grasps his shoulder and says, “Well, old friend, we ride for Norway, toward our futures, either life or death, God alone knows” Laughing, they kick their horses into a canter, ready to go home at last. Elisiv and Bettina role their eyes and grin, then high 5 and urge their horses to catch up. After all, the men wouldn’t even be here without Bettina and Elisiv.
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LESSON 7 – CONNECTING WITH AUDIENCE
Trish’s Connection with the Audience
What I learned by doing this assignment is that these qualities are present in differing degrees in each character, and probably Dalkr also after you get to know him better. He’s just not used to having a lot of close friends and has no family. It’s interesting how doing these exercises provokes creativity and ideas about other areas of the script.
I. Intentionally connecting Audience with Rongvald, Thorensson, Dalkr, and Harald.
1. Olaf
Likable, Intrigue, Empathy
a. Leader
b. King
c. Older brother
d. Wise
e. Brave
f. Loyal
g. Protective
2. Harald is the younger, idolizing brother of Olaf. He wants to be a part of the big battle at Sticklestad. He talks Olaf into letting him go with him. Olaf assigns protectors to Harald as this is the first time he’s ever been in a battle. Harald is only 14, going on 15 yrs old. Olaf assigns two friends of Harald’s, and Dalkr, one of Olaf’s men, seasoned in battles to protect Harald during the battles. He assigns these men to Harald in the war tent the night before the big battle.
Likability, and Relatability, Empathy
1. He’s brave
2. He’s loyal to a fault at times
3. He’s naive
3. Rongvald is a friend both to Harald and Thorenssen, all friends throughout childhood. He is loyal to his friends, brave. He will save, protect, and follow Harald, even though he would rather be home with his wife and children.
Likability, Empathy
1. He’s loyal,
2. He’s Morose sings morose love songs.
3. He’s brave
4. He loves his family
4. Thorensson is a friend also. He’s single, handsome, tall, and blond haired Viking who plays the lyre. Like Rongvald, he is committed to protect, care for, and follow Harald on his journeys. Young and unmarried, he hopes to earn enough money to buy land and have a family.
Likability, Empathy, Relatable
1. Bachelor
2. Loyal
3. Fun
4. Honest
5. Dalkr is an old friend of Olaf, and has been part of his retinue for years, traveling with him during his reign as King of Norway. He is assigned to babysit Olaf’s little brother during the battle, to keep him safe and alive. He is not happy with the new assignment. He wants to be by Olaf’s side as always, and he has a bad feeling about what is to come. He would die for Olaf, and maybe Harald but not if he had to choose. At Olaf’s death, Dalkr takes on the job of older brother/friend to Harald. To protect and defend, guide and advise and castigate.
Relatable, Intrigue, Empathy
1. He’s gruff
2. He’s rough.
3. Older
4. Not very nice or polite.
5. Cranky
6. Honest
d. Asta Gudbrandsdotter Syr: mother of Olaf-oldest and Harald-younger. A definite preference for Olaf, from her first husband a renowned King of southern Norway. Not quite “motherly” to Harald and the other children. A bit snotty and arrogant to her second husband, Sigurd Syr.
Empathy, Relatability, Intrigue
1. Responsible
2. Good Cook
3. Fair wife, who was abandoned by her first husband, then married Sigurd Syr, a minor king
4. A good mother toward Olaf, so-so toward Harald and his two older brothers
5. Faithful, relatively
e, Sigurd Syr: father of Harald, step-father of Olaf. He loves all his children, including Olaf, and does his best for them all. He kinda tolerates Harald’s dreams of being King of Norway as being a passing fantasy, and hero-worship of Olaf.
Empathy, Likability, Relatability
1. Good husband
2. Good father to all the children
3. Salt of the earth farmer
4. King
5. Honest
6. Kind
II. Opening scene is Harald playing by himself. Father calls him to do his chores. Harald replies that he is being the king. Father tells him to do his chores first, and then be king. But Dad… Do your chores and you might be done by the time Olaf rides in. Harald hurries through his chores. Olaf rides in. Mother is ecstatic, ignores other children, do time for anyone else to greet Olaf. Olaf and Sigurd look at one another. They know her ways. But Olaf ruffles Harald’s hair and ask him how the king business is going? They grin at each other. Olaf starts letting Harald ride with him.
Scene in foggy forest as Olaf, Harald, the protectors, some of the army when they ride through to meet Kalfr at the church to negotiate terms. Doesn’t go well, no terms. Olaf wins, Kalfr loses and is mad, calls in King Canut to be King of Norway. Break to tent scene where Olaf plans protection for Harald and friends, and Dalkr to his dismay.
Morning of the big battle, death of Olaf, and the escape of wounded Harald to the hills by his friends, warriors, Dalkr. Harald heals in secret cabin in mountains, as gets better goes through Emotional Gradient. Turn point 1.
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LESSON 8
Trish’s Profound Endings
What I learned by doing this assignment is that the characters interact, and ideas for the expansion on top of ideas evolves. Can see why revisions are so necessary, and why so many are recommended.
1. My Profound Truth is face your challenges and evolve into who you really are.
1. Delivered by Harald, Thorensson, Bettina, and Elisiv as they leave Kiev: Harald says: “Well, old friend, we ride for Norway, toward our futures, either life or death, God alone knows” Laughing, they kick their horses into a canter, ready to go home at last. Elisiv and Bettina role their eyes and grin, then high 5 and urge their horses to catch up. After all, the men wouldn’t even be here without Bettina and Elisiv.
2. My Lead Characters – Change Agent and Transformable Character come to an end that represents the completed change by leaving the “Old Ways” that no longer work, and embracing the “New Ways” that offer hope and accomplishments to move forward in life.
3. What are the setups/payoffs that complete in the end of this movie.
a. The payoff of finding a new family
b. The payoff of finding their destinies
c. The payoff of finding their courage, of facing the worst, death, which gives them new life based on bravery and honesty.
d. The payoff of finding what’s of real value in life.
e. The payoff of finding love in a war so far from home.
4. How am I designing it to have the audience see an inevitable ending and then making it surprising when it appears.
a. The gains in experience and bravery that Harald embodies
b. The grousing of the men to return home
c. The wealth that Harald and the men have accumulated
d. The baptism in the River Jordan
e. The death of Rongvald and promise to return home
f. The return to Kiev
g. Elisiv and Harald in the garden at night.
5. What is the Parting Image/Line that leaves us with the Profound Truth in our minds. The parting image is of Harald, Thorensson, their wives and a cadre of warriors around them as they ride out of the city, and look at each other. Harold grins at Thorensson, grasps his shoulder and says, “Well, old friend, we ride for Norway, toward our futures, either life or death, God alone knows” Laughing, they kick their horses into a canter, ready to go home at last. Elisiv and Bettina role their eyes and grin, then high 5 and urge their horses to catch up. After all, the men wouldn’t even be here without Bettina and Elisiv.
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i have introduced myself and signed the confidentiality agreement so am not sure what these messages are about.
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LESSON 2, WEEK 1 – CHARACTER-ASSIGN
What I learned rewriting my/character is that I still love the Terminator movie, admire the writers and the actors who pull it off… they give it Life! The insights of others was enlightening. Thanks to all who shared
1. Insights and Breakthroughs: Living into Their Future – Terminator
a. Insights: The darkness is scary, as is the water tunnel. It provides a space to be honest and frank. Sarah naturally resists this demented man “from her future” but the discussion about her son resonates with her, as does Kyle’s serious demeanor and language…he’s not messing around with politeness or distance. He needs to deliver his important message and try to break through Sarah’s disbelief. Of course Sarah is astounding and barely able to understand the import of Kyle’s words. On some level, she does trust what he says because of his manner and her inability to distract him from his purpose. She doesn’t know him. I wish you would expand more on the silence, David. Good insight though. I’m going backto listen to that again…thanks. Paul McGregor= what an awesome connection you made from this lesson to your screenplay. I loved your last comment! and as of this moment, I’m going to go back and take another look on how to apply it. I for sure don’t know everything about the scene I’m reconfiguring. Living into Their Future will be fun and exciting to find out what more there might be! Thanks for the jump!
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LESSON 7 – CONNECTING WITH AUDIENCE
Trish’s Connection with the Audience
What I learned by doing this assignment is that these qualities are present in differing degrees in each character, and probably Dalkr also after you get to know him better. He’s just not used to having a lot of close friends and has no family. It’s interesting how doing these exercises provokes creativity and ideas about other areas of the script.
I. Intentionally connecting Audience with Rongvald, Thorensson, Dalkr, and Harald.
1. Olaf
Likable, Intrigue, Empathy
a. Leader
b. King
c. Older brother
d. Wise
e. Brave
f. Loyal
g. Protective
2. Harald is the younger, idolizing brother of Olaf. He wants to be a part of the big battle at Sticklestad. He talks Olaf into letting him go with him. Olaf assigns protectors to Harald as this is the first time he’s ever been in a battle. Harald is only 14, going on 15 yrs old. Olaf assigns two friends of Harald’s, and Dalkr, one of Olaf’s men, seasoned in battles to protect Harald during the battles. He assigns these men to Harald in the war tent the night before the big battle.
Likability, and Relatability, Empathy
1. He’s brave
2. He’s loyal to a fault at times
3. He’s naive
3. Rongvald is a friend both to Harald and Thorenssen, all friends throughout childhood. He is loyal to his friends, brave. He will save, protect, and follow Harald, even though he would rather be home with his wife and children.
Likability, Empathy
1. He’s loyal,
2. He’s Morose sings morose love songs.
3. He’s brave
4. He loves his family
4. Thorensson is a friend also. He’s single, handsome, tall, and blond haired Viking who plays the lyre. Like Rongvald, he is committed to protect, care for, and follow Harald on his journeys. Young and unmarried, he hopes to earn enough money to buy land and have a family.
Likability, Empathy, Relatable
1. Bachelor
2. Loyal
3. Fun
4. Honest
5. Dalkr is an old friend of Olaf, and has been part of his retinue for years, traveling with him during his reign as King of Norway. He is assigned to babysit Olaf’s little brother during the battle, to keep him safe and alive. He is not happy with the new assignment. He wants to be by Olaf’s side as always, and he has a bad feeling about what is to come. He would die for Olaf, and maybe Harald but not if he had to choose. At Olaf’s death, Dalkr takes on the job of older brother/friend to Harald. To protect and defend, guide and advise and castigate.
Relatable, Intrigue, Empathy
1. He’s gruff
2. He’s rough.
3. Older
4. Not very nice or polite.
5. Cranky
6. Honest
d. Asta Gudbrandsdotter Syr: mother of Olaf-oldest and Harald-younger. A definite preference for Olaf, from her first husband a renowned King of southern Norway. Not quite “motherly” to Harald and the other children. A bit snotty and arrogant to her second husband, Sigurd Syr.
Empathy, Relatability, Intrigue
1. Responsible
2. Good Cook
3. Fair wife, who was abandoned by her first husband, then married Sigurd Syr, a minor king
4. A good mother toward Olaf, so-so toward Harald and his two older brothers
5. Faithful, relatively
e, Sigurd Syr: father of Harald, step-father of Olaf. He loves all his children, including Olaf, and does his best for them all. He kinda tolerates Harald’s dreams of being King of Norway as being a passing fantasy, and hero-worship of Olaf.
Empathy, Likability, Relatability
1. Good husband
2. Good father to all the children
3. Salt of the earth farmer
4. King
5. Honest
6. Kind
II. Opening scene is Harald playing by himself. Father calls him to do his chores. Harald replies that he is being the king. Father tells him to do his chores first, and then be king. But Dad… Do your chores and you might be done by the time Olaf rides in. Harald hurries through his chores. Olaf rides in. Mother is ecstatic, ignores other children, do time for anyone else to greet Olaf. Olaf and Sigurd look at one another. They know her ways. But Olaf ruffles Harald’s hair and ask him how the king business is going? They grin at each other. Olaf starts letting Harald ride with him.
Scene in foggy forest as Olaf, Harald, the protectors, some of the army when they ride through to meet Kalfr at the church to negotiate terms. Doesn’t go well, no terms. Olaf wins, Kalfr loses and is mad, calls in King Canut to be King of Norway. Break to tent scene where Olaf plans protection for Harald and friends, and Dalkr to his dismay.
Morning of the big battle, death of Olaf, and the escape of wounded Harald to the hills by his friends, warriors, Dalkr. Harald heals in secret cabin in mountains, as gets better goes through Emotional Gradient. Turn point 1.
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What I learned from doing this assignment is that the writers set up the actors in nuanced ways: who’s the most intelligent, who has the guts to speak up, who is the leader and who are the followers, a boy-girl encounter, in a bar where not just everybody goes. Will may be “just a janitor, but he’s very sharp, not afraid to take on a bully inside with words or outside with fists. Skylar is not afraid to tell Chuckie to stop it. Chuckie is arrogant, rude, thinks he’s superior by right of “daddy’s” wealth and position in society, a plagerizer because he can’t really think at Will’s level. The setting and the clothing speak volumes from Skylar’s sexy black dress to Will’s torn and scruffy shirt; Ben and “Chuckie” are both wearing jock jackets but their intelligence level is different, check out the accents.. I was not even sure that Ben was actually attending school at Harvard. Of course the lighting plays an important part also because when it’s dark people often think they can act or speak whatever they want, even exposing themselves for who they really are.
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Hello! My name is Patricia Carothers. I am in the process of writing my first script to completion, with one on the back burner, and a couple of books waiting in the background for my attention. My goal in this class is to get a deeper understanding of characterization and interactions to write a profound movie that will entertain and enlighten the audience on some level.
Unique…what ever could that be? I’ll have to get back on this one. Maybe, I’m in the Platinum Blonde group now?!
Hal and Cheryl always deliver and I am looking forward to this class…while I finish up a couple of others. See you in the Forums
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LESSON 6 TRANSFORMABLE STRUCTURE
LOGLINE: Harold, one of the three men that eventually vie for the English crown, sees his brother die, and must run away to Russia and Constantinople to avoid sure death, to learn how to fight and think like a great warrior.
HARALD: Transformable Character
MM #1 – Pages 1 – 15 – Our hero’s status quo, his ordinary world, ends with an inciting incident or “call to adventure,” introducing the story’s main tension.
EMOTION: Fear/despair/denial: in a huge battle in 1030 ad, after watching the brutal death of his older brother, Olaf, King of Norway, by his enemy Kalfr, and being almost killed himself, Harald is whisked away from the battle by his friends Rongvald, Thorensson, and Dalkr (Olaf’s man). He takes some time to heal in a secret cabin in the mountains doctored by Thorensson, as all are hiding from capture/death by Kalfr’s soldiers.
Turning Point: Call to Adventure: Harold’s brother Olaf is dead. Harald is severely wounded, unconscious. He and his friends hide in a mountain cabin, to hide from Kalfr and his soldiers who are searching the forest for them. While he heals.
MM #2 – Pages 15 – 30 – Our hero’s denial of the call, and his gradually being “locked into” the conflict brought on by this call.
DENIAL: Upon awakening, Harald can’t believe what happened to his brother in front of his eyes, can’t believe he couldn’t reach him in time to save him, and can’t believe he’s still alive. He’s feels guilt, sorrow, and shame all at once, a confusing entwined ball of emotions. Days pass as he wrestle with himself.
ANGER: He is bitter, cranky, and angry, blames himself, his friends, Olaf, and God, and wondering, “What Now?”
BARGAINING: Confined to his bed, he bargains with God – If you let me live, I’ll kill Kalfr and avenge my brother…If you let me live, I will do something to honor my brother and all who died on the battlefield…If you let me live, I’ll appreciate every day I breathe…If you let me live I will lead the men to safety and take care of them…
DEPRESSION: What’s the use…I’m too young…I’m too stupid…I’m too unskilled…I’m too wounded… too helpless. I CAN’T DO ANYTHING! Bad odds and tied to this bed – arggghhh… I would be better off dead. While Harold heals slowly, once the fevers stop, he thinks “What now?” He realizes he can’t go home. Is his family even alive?
T and R baby him, but Dalkr takes him to task.
INT – HAROLD’S BEDROOOM IN THE FORREST CABIN– DAY
A crash against the bedroom door as Harald hurls a bowl of soup against it.
DALKR
Stop pouting and feeling sorry for yourself.
HARALD
Who says I’m pouting?” as he thumps his fist against his leg. “Ouch!”
DALKR
You’re an idiot. You’re like a nasty snake just waiting to strike at any one of us, or all of us together. All we did to deserve the worst of you, was save your sorry, stinking, life. Don’t make us regret it any more than we already do, you blasted sniveling puppy!”
RONGVALD
Begins to make up a song about a bratty little boy who gets sent to his room without any supper.
Thorensson picks up his lyre and plays a mournful melody in time with Rongvald’s song, ending with a verse about laying around in bed all day and pouting
HARALD
I’m already in my room, in my bed and I’m Not pouting. There’s nowhere else you can send me.
DALKR
We could send you to Valhalla where your brother Olaf is. Wonder if he would welcome such a pewling snotty little boy like you into the resting place of warriors. If you would even be allowed intro such a sacred place.
RONGVALD
Don’t you mean Heaven, Dalkr? I’m sure that’s where he is this very moment.
DALKR
Where ever.
THORENSSON
Where ever he is, he would be glad to see you, Harald, pewling, snotty nose and all. In an aside to Dalkr, “Stop beimg so hard on him. He just lost his brother.
HARALD
I miss him. I’m tired of just laying about in bed all day. You guys get to be up and doing stuff. Though, I know not what. I can only imagine while I twiddle my thumbs.
DALKR
The only part of you that you can actually move. I will jump for joy the day I have to stop taking care of your pee and crap, not to mention this mess of soup on the floor…unless you want to crawl over here and lick it up. Don’t suppose you would like to hop up and take care of that job, would you?”
HARALD
Stop complaining and whining, Dalkr.
ACCEPTANCE: My brother chose to fight. I chose to fight with him. I’m proud that he was courageous and faced Kalfr so bravely, that he tried to win. I actually was brave and courageous too. I’m like him in many ways. I always wanted to be King of Norway since I was little. I’m going to be the King. I just never realized that it would be this way.
ACTION: His desire, as a Viking, if he lives… he feels the burning need for revenge, as do his men. The need to recapture the kingship also hardens into resolve for Harald.
He starts to do bed exercises. He and his friends make plans to leave. He sends Thorenssr on with men to a port to buy boats and supplies for everyone.
Turning Point: Locked in. MM #3 – Pages 30 – 45 – Our hero’s first attempts to solve his problem, first things that anyone with this problem would try, appealing to outside authority to help him. Ends when all these avenues are shut to our hero.
Harald, with his friends and army sneak out two by two to leave the cabin and go to a port to meet Thorensson. They leave for Kievan Rus, to the castle of King Yaroslav and his wife, Ingrgerd, a relative of Harald and Olaf.
4) King Yaroslav persuades Harald to lead his men and Yaroslav’s and his brother’s men into battle against his enemies, the Poles and the Pechinegs. Harald is fearful but determined. His friends look out for him. A secret enemy in Harald’s army with orders from Kalfr tries to kill him from behind, and misses. Kills someone else close by which makes Rongvald, Thorensson, and Dalkr suspiscious. Become more vigilent.
5) In between battles, as Harald’s skills improve and his fears diminish, he becomes acquainted with Yaroslav’s daughter, Elisiv. He forms an emotional attachment to her, asks her to marry him and she rejects him. This event recreates Harald’s feelings of “less than” from his mother’s obvious preference for Olaf and her concentration of support and love for Olaf. Also, the rejection he feels is exacerbated by memories of his mother’s treatment of him. He realizes idol worship and similarities to Olaf may be manifestations of competition with his brother for his mother’s love.
Turning Point: Standard ways fail
He is angry and hurt, and turns to Yaroslav, Elisiv’s father, for advice. Yaroslav the Wise tells Harald to leave and go to Constantinople and become a Varangian Guard for the Emperor of Byzantiaum, the Easterm Holy Roman empire. Perhaps he will find both his fortune and enough prestige and power that Harald will then impress Elisiv.
MM #4 – Pages 45 — 60 – Our hero spawns a bigger plan. He prepares for it, gathers what materials and allies he may need, then puts the plan into action — only to have it go horribly wrong, usually due to certain vital information the hero lacked about the forces of antagonism allied against him.
6) He leaves with his friends and army for Constantinople to hire themselves out as mercenaries to the Emperor of Rome of the Eastern Provinces. Harold meets with the Emperor in the Great Throne room in the palace. Empress Zoe flirts with Harald. The Emperor hires them as his personal guards, the Varangians, and then sends them into battle. They fight for several years.
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Turning Point: Plan backfires.
MM #5 – Pages 60 — 75 – Having created his plan to solve his problem WITHOUT changing, our hero is confronted by his need to change, eyes now open to his own weaknesses, driven by the antagonist to change or die. He retreats to lick his wounds.
Montage of Harald’s battles, strategies, smarts, winning important battles and they all get rich by the pillaging of the palace exchequer on the death of the emperor (3 times). “Aren’t we rich enough yet, Harry?” The men’s grousing increases about going home especially Rongvald who misses his wife and childfren. They don’t understand how much money Harald will need to become King. Harold finally agrees to go home. Plans to go to Jerusalem before going home. Everyone to be baptized in the River Jordan.
Turning Point: The decision to change.
MM #6
– Pages 75 – 90 – Our hero spawns a new plan, but now he’s ready to change. He puts this plan into action…and is very nearly destroyed by it. And then…a revelation.On the way to Jerusalem two planted betrayers by Kálfr Árnonson attempt to murder Harald. They mortally wound Harald’s friend Rognavald + his dog Skoll, Dalk+ his dog Hati, and Harald’s dog Geri, some warriors, and the traitors mortally wounded in return. “Who told you to kill us?” Harald thunders, then kneels by his best and oldest friend Rognavald who gives advice and instructions about his burial pyre with his dog Skoll. What to take home to his family and tells Harald to go home. Harald promises to go… and take special care of Kálfr Árnonson.
EXT: CAMP CENTER WITH FIRE – NIGHT
(12E10)37. He tortures one of the least dead. traitors. “Who betrayed us you rancid pig” He gasps… “King Canut. Harald jabs his fist into the wound…he screams…”Who? Try again!” as Harold holds a knife against his throat. “Kálfr! Kálfr Árnonson…” “You are a dead man. Pray and cleanse your soul!” Harald slits his throat and they throw his naked carcass outside the camp for the dogs. Harold’s remaining dog. Freki, getting first crunch. Harald realizes that life is shorty. His friend died because of Harald’s greed and complete disregard for his people; another burden to carry for the rest of his life. It was actually past time to go home and what might await for them all there.
Turning Point: The ultimate failure.
MM #7 – Pages 90 – 105 – The revelation allows our hero to see victory, and he rejoins the battle with a new fervor, finally turning the tables on his antagonist and arriving at apparent victory. And then the tables turn one more time!
Return to Constantinople, where a suspicious, greedy new Emperor, Michael V, imprisons them and plans to kill them. Zoe asks Harald to marry her, he refuses and tells her he and his men are going home. Zoe adds accusations also and the plan to kill them all proceeds. Arguments erupt, fear and anxiety among the troops. Escape with help from Thorensson’s slave girl, who is secretly in love with Thorensson, who releases them and they escape, in 1043.
Turning Point: Apparent victory.
attempt to defeat him, wraps up his story and any sub-plots, and moves into the new world he and his story have created.
Escape out of Constantinople
Sailing up to Kiev. Big celebrations. Yaroslav and Harald have a talk. Elisiv and Harald are strolling in the gardens. Elisiv is waiting for Harald to renew his proposal, but he talks on and on about the myriad events of his Constantinople work. She abruptly interrupts him.
ELISIV: Harold, I want to marry you. Would you like to marry me?
HARALD: Are you asking?
ELISIV: Yes, I am. Will you marry me, Harald?
HARALD grills her. He stops and looks at her, seriously. “Why would I want to marry you, Elisiv?”
ELISIV: Are you serious, Harald? “I’m the daughter of a wealthy, powerful man. You proposed to me before you left for Constantinople. Why wouldn’t you still want to marry me? Unless you were just asking because of the money.
HARALD: I’m not a king, Elisiv. I may never be one. What do you think about that?
ELISIV: Why are you asking me that?
HARALD: Most of my family is probably dead, and we weren’t anything but smalltime farmers. Did you know that?
ELISIV: Yes, Ingregerd told me before you came the first time. Is this important to you?
HARALD: It seemed to be important to you before I left for Constantinople. You know, your exalted family connections and such that are so important to you?
ELISIV: They were then, but they aren’t now.
Harald: Why the change, Elisiv? Is this just about the money?
ELISIV: I would slap you but I think you were in the same position when you proposed to me. I thought you were after the money then. I didn’t know you. You worked for my father and bragged about yourself. Offered me the role of camp follower. As if. You had nothing to recommend yourself except a propensity to win military battles. An important skill I admit and one I personally admire. Your exploits show bravery and intelligence, quick thinking. And my father admires you. (even though he’s not yet a king, she believes in him. He’s no longer an untried boy) Besides, you’re a handsome, strong man. What’s not to love?
HARALD: You’re right. What’s not to love (an epiphany). I accept your proposal, Elisiv. You realize we’ll live in Norway eventually. Can you handle that?
ELISIV: I think I can, as long as the sex is good.
HARALD: What sex?
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LESSON 5 – THE THREE GRADIENTS Trish’s Three Gradients What I learned from doing this assignment is that I have gaps in my story that need to be addressed according to the gradients lesson.
Character 1. The Emotional Gradient
A. For Harald: Forced Change
a. EMOTION: Fear/despair/Denial: in a huge battle in 1030 ad, after watching the brutal death of his older brother, Olaf, King of Norway, by his enemy Kalfr, and being almost killed himself, Harald is whisked away from the battle by his friends Rongvald, Thorensson, and Dalkr (Olaf’s man). He takes some time to heal in a secret cabin in the mountains doctored by Thorensson, and who are all hiding from capture/death by Kalfr’s men.
DENIAL: Upon awakening, Harald can’t believe what happened to his brother in front of his eyes, can’t believe he couldn’t reach him in time to save him, and can’t believe he’s left alive.
ANGER: He is bitter, cranky, and angry, blames himself, his friends, God, and wondering, “What Now?”
BARGAINING: Confined to his bed, he bargains with God – If you let me live, I’ll kill Kalfr and avenge my brother…If you let me live, I will do something to honor my brother and all who died on the battlefield…If you let me live, I’ll appreciate every day I breathe…If you let me live I will lead the men to safety and take care of them…
DEPRESSION: What’s the use…I’m too young…I’m too stupid…I’m too unskilled…too inexperienced. I’m too wounded, too helpless, against bad odds and tied to this bed – arggghhh… I would be better off dead.
ACCEPTANCE: My brother chose to fight. I chose to fight with him. I’m proud that he was brave and courageous, that he tried to win. I was brave and courageous too. I’m like him in many ways. I always wanted to be King of Norway since I was little. But can I do it?
b. ACTION: 1) I’m going to be as brave and courageous as Olaf. My friends will help, and the other soldiers who lived and fought that day will come with us. Will fight with us. Will win with us.
2) First, I have to get out of this bed .
3) Harald, with his friends and army leave the cabin and sneak away to a port. get bpats. and leave for Kievan Rus, to the castle of King Yaroslav and his wife, Ingrgerd, a relative of Harald and Olaf.
4) King Yaroslav persuades Harald to lead his men and Yaroslav’s men into battle against his enemies, the Poles and the Pechenigs. Harald is fearful but determined. His friends look out for him. A secret enemy in Harald’s army with orders from Kalfr tries to kill him from behind, and misses, kills the man in front of Harald.
5) In between battles, as Harald’s skills improve and his fears diminish, he becomes acquainted with Yaroslav’s daughter, Elisiv. He forms an emotional attachment to her, asks her to marry him and she rejects him.
6) He leaves, angry and rejected, feeling less than like his mother used to make him fee in comparison to her love for Olaf. With his friends and army fhey head for Constantinople to hire themselves out as mercenaries to the Emperor of the Eastern Holy Roman Empire. They are hired as the Emperor’s personal Varangian guards, and then sent into battle.
7) They fight for several years, through the deaths of three Emperors. They all get rich, especially Harald, through the capture of enemy fortresses and the riches they get from sacking them. Harald sends all his wealth to King Yaroslav to keep for him when he returns, so Elisiv will see what she’s missing.
8) Harald is now an experienced fighter and wins his battles. Rongvald longs to go home to his family, Thorenssen longs to return to a beautiful slave girl at the Constantinople Palace, the other men in the army are calling for home too. Harald says ok, after they go to the River Jordan in Jerusalem to be baptized.
9) On the way to Jerusalem, stopping for the night, two of Kalfr’s traitors attack the core group. Ronvald has a mortal wound. Dalk’r is killed, with his dog. Thorenssen is slightly wounded, and Harald has a slice on his arm. Some of the men are wounded or killed.
10) Harald promises a dying Rongvald that he will burn him in a funeral pyre, take his prizes to his family, and take care of his dog. They have the funeral pyre and head for Jerusalem in the morning. They are baptized in the river, and begin the journey back to Constantinople.
11) Harold in now a confident and experienced warrior. Arriving in Constantinople, the new Emperor is suspicious and afraid of Harald and his army being in the city.
12) He arrests them and imprisons them in one of the buildings to face possible death on fake charges. Queen Zoe wants to marry him, but Harald refuses. She wants him killed too. A big riot is going on in the town against the Emperor. Thorenssen’s slave girl secretly frees them, and they all stealthily head for the boats at the shore close by, avoiding any large angry groups.
13) They lose half the men going over the steel rope barrier across the inlet to the city, and sail to Kiev, where Yaroslav receives them. A celebration ensues, and after a lavish dinner, a few days of joisting and wrestling, Harald agrees to meet Elisiv in the gardens again. Elisiv wants Harald to propose to her again, but he doesn’t. He tells her that this time, she has to propose. When she does, he grills her with questions about his suitability after all, he’s the same man as before when she rejected him. What’s changed…his riches…is that what she’s after? After his intense quizzing, she praises his accomplishments, his improved physic, and his concerns and she accepts his proposal. A big wedding ensues with huge celebration.
12) A month later, the Wedding over, Harald and Elisiv, Thorenssen and his slave girl now wife, and the army prepare to leave to city and return home.
13) Harald plans to return to fight to be the King of Norway, and his friends and whole army plan to go with him on these plans. Two of Kalfr’s remaining killers blend back into the army. So begins the fraught journey home to Norway.
c. CHALLENGE: To accept his role as leader, let go of the guilt, and accept the responsibility for himself and his men in strange lands and at home.
d. WEAKNESS: Youth and naivete, and inexperience
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LESSON 4b – ANALYSIS OF DEAD POETS SOCIETY
Trish’s Analysis of Dead Poets Society
What is the change this movie is about? This movie is about becoming your real self no matter what and the consequences of not becoming your true authentic self.
What is the Transformational Journey of this movie?
The TJ of this movie is the challenge to awaken from the old societal pressure ways by embracing the new ways, accepting the challenges and overcoming them. The new ways as well as the old ways are different for each individual, and therefore the responses must be individual also, as Mr. Keeting demonstrated.
Lead characters:
Who is the Change Agent (the one causing the change) and what makes this the right character to cause the change?
Mr. Keeting is the change agent, who comes in and not only challenges the boys’ expectations of their physical environment but also their minds, beliefs, and actions. He’s perfect because he has already become his own true self and is willing to teach the boys how to do it.
Who is the Transformable Character (the one who makes the change) and what makes them the right character to deliver this profound journey?
Nuwanda is the prime example of the change in that he already has some of the change traits and fully embraces the New Ways changes
Todd is the other best example as he is completely shut down socially (Old Ways), and because of Neil’s befriending and including him, he evolves to speak up – classroom poetry experiment breakthrough – until in the end he berates the Headmaster and is 1st to climb on his desk = New Ways.
Neil is the boy who could have become a leader like Mr. Keeting but failed the test when he could not be honest with or rebel fully against his father Old Ways), choosing a figurative as well as a physical death. Right after his father demolishes him and he goes to his room, we see him as the shadow of his real self on the wall, already “dead.”
What is the Oppression? The old beliefs, the school, the headmaster, the silent supportive academic community, except for Keeting, the parents, the older alumni, and the 4 pillars.
How are we lured into the profound journey? What causes us to connect with this story?
We are lured in and connected by the challenge to be our authentic selves (New Ways) just like them, to stand up, the fun, and the bonding, and the emotion of finding and expressing the spirit within. By breaking the bindings (Old Ways) that keep us captive
Looking at the character(s) who are changed the most, what is the profound journey? From “old ways” to “new way of being.” Identify their old way: Identify their new way at the conclusion:
Todd: journeys from withdrawn, uncommunicative, and unable to make friends, unable to confront, to the 1st person to stand on his desk, the 1st person to defend Keeting to Headmaster’s face and to say “Captain. My Captain” as Keeting leaves.
Nuwanda: already rebellious and straining against the leash of rules and conformity embraces the New Ways entirely and in sticking to the Dead Poets Society is expelled completely from the school, the symbol of the “Old Ways.”What is the gradient of the change?
Stuck in old ways-sleepwalking, introduced to the change = mentally confused state, begin to accept and test the change, then either accept or reject the change, if accept practice and become, if reject then die inside, not nessasarily physically…”live a life of quiet desperation.”What steps did the Transformational Character go through as they were changing? Steps:
a) experience an authentic person = see the change, b) want the change, c) practice the change, d) embrace-own the change, e) be the change.How is the “old way” challenged? The boys are already rebelling in small ways to begin with…smoking in rooms, sneaking out at night. Neil begins rebelling in small ways with his friends and leads them into New Ways changes too. “Nuwanda” embraces the new ways, drops the Old Ways, faster than the others and takes it to the limit = he’s expelled.
What beliefs are challenged that cause a main character to shift their perspective…and make the change?
1. Conformity, you must think and behave according to the 4 Pillars of the school, which are a bit twisted in practice.
2. The old guys in charge know best…so behave and obey. No questioning.
3. Live your parents life, not your own.
4. Go with your heart.What are the most profound moments of the movie? a) Mr Keeting tells them they are worm food; b)Todd’s explosive soul poetry; c) choose…in or out; d) standing on desk 1st time; e) Keeting challenging Neil to confront his father; f) Neil’s death; g) signing confession document; h) Kwwtings departure and standing on desks.
What are the most profound lines of the movie? So many but here’s a few:
Why doesn’t he let you do what you want?
I’ll do what I have to.
We’re food for worms.
On my class you will learn to think for yourself. You will learn to savor words and language.
Poetry, beauty, romance, love…this is what we stay alive for.
The powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?
How does the ending payoff the setups of this movie?
Setups Paid off:
a) Old ways are overcome by choice. and taking action
b) Keeting teachings = New Ways are. confirmed when boys stand up on. desks and verify him as “Captain. My Captain” in front of Headmaster
c) Neil fails to act on the New Ways by. refusing to defy his father to be his. true self and then killing himself. instead.
d) “Nuwanda” demonstrates the. complete change to New Ways. when he refuses to sign the. “confession” papers and is expelled.e) Keeting is the expression of. living.his true self fully when he is. fired. He never backed diwn.
What is the Profound Truth of this movie?
Our best selves lie hidden within until challenged to come forth and then stand up for your true self against those people who or circumstances that would diminish you. -
LESSON 4a. THE CHANGE AGENT AND TRANSFORMABLE CHARACTER
Trish’s Lead Characters
What I learned doing this assignment is how to think about and organize the story given these parameters, very helpful for clarity on roles and motivations.
1. Logline: The captivating and complex story of 11th century royalty in 3 countries and the ongoing battles and betrayals that lead to the eventual accession of William as King of England.
2. Change Agent a) For Harold – the death of his brother, King of Norway before his eyes fits the role as revenge and hatred generator; for William – the violent death of his father at dinner by poison, also as revenge, self preservation, and hatred generator; for Harold of England – family expectations, battles with Wales and other earls, and Norman influence on King Edward the Confessor – vision of him and his family in power positions, and self as King.
3. Transformable Character (s): Main: Harald of Norway who sees himself as King of Norway and then England. Becomes stronger,smarter, and determined to succeed; William of Normandy who becomes Duke and then make a play for King of England – becomes a strong warrior. Extremely clever and crafty, political savvy; Harold of England – the last Anglo Saxon to become King of England – extremely clever, trained in political intrigue, in a position of power and influence, adept in battles. Rongvald, Thorensson,Dalkr who save and ride with Harald – Loyal friends, protective, advisors to Harald.
4. The Oppression: For: a) Harald, internal and external pressures – pressure of survivor’s guilt, constant threat of death by Kalfr’s men, battle training for others, and youthful uncertainty; b) William, internal pressure of a youth filled with abuse and ridicule, father’s vioent murder, loneliness as hides to save his life, and nobles’ attempts to take his kingdom and kill him; c) England’s Harold, father’s and family’s expectations of his rise to power and influence with the King, other nobles’ power moves, King Edward treachery.
5. Betraying Character: a) Kalfr, who killed King Olaf Harald’s older brother first, and sends his warriors to find Harald and kill him. Harald is 14.
b) Neighboring nobles kill Will’s father, Robert, in front of him, and work to kill William, especially Allan of Boulonge, to get his wealthy kingdom.c) The powerful earls of Morcar of Northumbria, and Edwin of of Mercer, among others and King Edward, who will all play a role in Harold’s defeat in 1066.
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LESSON 14 – MOST MEMORABLE LINE
Trish’s Most Memorable Line
What I learned from doing this assignment is that there is always room for improvement. It appears that in the rewrites new ideas pop up. This was fun.
INT – RECEPTION ROOM – FALAISE CASTLE – NIGHT
Duke Robert raises his glass. He looks around the room at all his guests: friends, family, and enemies.
GUEST 1: Someone whispers, “I hope he makes this a short speech.” A woman’s voice.
GUEST 2: After that fealty pantomime, I cannot see that happening. But at least the food will be hot and plentiful.”
GUEST 1: “Is food all you ever think about, Nigel?”
GUEST 2: “No. I think about mead, and wine too. I dream about them. And women of course.”
GUEST 1: “I think you’ve had enough wine. And you do have a wife.
GUEST 2: “I know.”
ROBERT: “Friends,” the Duke begins, “and family, Archbishop, welcome all to share this feast with us in honor of my only son and heir, William, Duke-to-Be of all my kingdom. I am pleased with all the new nobles who have come to swear fealty to my son… especially if I should happen to die before my time.”
Everyone laughs and raises their glasses high.
ALLAN: Duke Allan III raises his glass and toasts, “Long life to William, the Duke to be…but not too soon we hope.”
Everyone laughs again.
ARTHUR THE MAJOR DOMO: The Duke suspects all the guests have been at the mead before dinner. He looks at his major domo with raised eyebrow, who comes forward as if signaled. He speaks in a low voice to Robert. “Your grace, one of the serving boys is a relative of His Grace, Allan de Balonge, and has poisoned your Grace’s next glass of wine. Shall I imprison the boy?”
ROBERT: Robert casually gazes out at his guests. “By all means do so. Take my glass, Arthur, before he delivers it and make sure Allan has it.” Things might get even more interesting as the night progresses.
NIGEL Viscount CANTENTIN: The next to toast, wineglass in hand, “To Duke Robert and his son and heir upon this, his ninth birthday. May he live a long and prosperous life. So, please, raise your glasses. A toast: long live Duke Robert and his son and heir, William.”
The guests all raise their glasses to the toast.
Duke Robert signals the wine steward to pour more wine. Duke first, and then on his right, William. On his left, Walter, brother of Arlette, William’s mother, now wife of his friend Earl Herluin of Conteville halfway across the room. Then all others wherever they stand. He looks around the room, interspersed with more friends, family, and recent enemies, now sworn vassals, suspiciously. Supposedly loyal now. He took a sip from his new glass of wine. Might as well stir the pot.
ROBERT: “Archbishop Mauger, we haven’t heard from you. Don’t you wish William well as the future Duke?”
ARCHBISHOP MAUGER: The archbishop glares at Robert. He might say that more and more as the night unfolds. Strike where the pain would hurt the most. Separate the wolves out. “To the future Duke of Normandy with all good wishes for his reign by the Grace of God.”
ROBERT: “Well spoke, Archbishop. Speaking of reigns,” Robert spoke casually, “I’ve been thinking of taking a journey to Jerusalem to meet the Pope.” Robert watched as Allan switched his wineglass with that of his wife. The scoundrel.
More wine was needed to loosen more tongues. Robert signals for more wine to be served. His very best vintage in honor of the occasion of his son’s acknowledgement, by his vassals of Will. His chosen heir to inherit the kingdom of Normandy, future now secured.
ALLAN: Allan laughs, and sips his new glass of wine. “Yes. Perhaps you should, now that you’ve conquered most of Normandy. No doubt you have much for which to ask forgiveness.”
ROBERT: Robert paused, then lowers his glass. “No doubt I do, Allan. Almost as much as you have to beg God’s forgiveness for your many sins.” Robert watched Arlette pour something into her wineglass. What could she be up to now?
ALLAN: “Beg, my lord?” questioned Allan. Allan grabs for his wife’s wineglass. “I’m sorry my love, but you’ve had enough wine for the night. He knocks it out of her hands, spilling it. He hands the empty glass to a passing waiter. “See that my wife receives no more wine tonight.
CASSANDRA: “But husband…”
ALLAN: “Cassandra, Cassandra, Cassandra. Hush, like the dutiful wife you are.”
ROBERT: Robert interrupts abruptly, unwilling to see Cassandra further humiliated. “Yes, Allan. Beg…on your knees, if that’s at all possible.”
ALLAN: “Perhaps before the Lord it is, Your Grace.”
ROBERT: “To think that you did Will the honor of bowing before him tonight.” Robert watches Arlette switch glasses of wine, sending her glass over to Allan via the young wine server. The minx.
ARCHBISHOP: “Don’t you think it a bit blasphemous to compare Will to God, Robert?”
ROBERT: “No, Archbishop. As a Duke, as you teach, Will is an agent of God on earth. He deserves as much obeisance as one gives to God himself. Wouldn’t you agree, Alan?”
ALLAN: “Being a Duke myself, I must of course agree. Perhaps thus to only bow before God, then.” Reaching for another glass of wine from the young wine server, Allan clumsily knocks it over.
YOUNG WINE SERVER: “Perhaps a new glass, Your Grace?”
ALLAN: “Of course a new glass, you bumbling idiot.” In a quiet aside, as he pretends to pat at his waistcoat, he whispers, “Five pounds if you give this glass to Duke Robert.” He surreptitiously points to the poisoned with glass, and waits for the servant’s nod, and surreptitiously passes him five pounds and picks out a new wineglass.
ROBERT: “Then you must come with me to Jerusalem before it’s too late. And Nigel must come with us too. And perhaps Roger Montgomery. Let’s all travel down together since we are all so in need of forgiveness.
ALLAN: “It might already be too late, Your Grace.”
ROBERT: “Is it ever too late, Roger Montgomery? What say you?”
ROGER: No, Your Grace.
ROBERT: What better friends could we travel with on a journey of such long duration?”
ROGER: “None other, Your Grace,” Roger mumbles into his wineglass.
ROBERT: “One last glass of wine all around, Arthur, before we eat.” Arthur and the serving boys move among the crowd one more time. Everyone happily accepts more of Robert’s best wine.
ALLAN: Allan muses, “Perhaps we will all come. We shall see what happens before you leave on this journey, Your Grace.”
ROBERT: Robert lifts his final glass of wine, before dinner, the high-lights of the chandelier overhead and the glowing sconces twinkling in it. He raises it to his lips and drains it to the last drop. “Then, to a future journey to bow before God and now a fine meal to be accented with my finest vintage from my own cellars. Can life be any sweeter than this day and this night?”
GUESTS: “No, Your Grace, We wish you and William every felicitation…and we anticipate your dinner with pleasure.” Everyone laughs as they all raise their glasses to Robert and William and drink.
As Robert starts to sit in his chair at the head of the table, he convulses, then crashes into his chair, his glass slipping from his fingers to the floor. Foam begins to pour from his lips. He desperately looks at Will. Will is gaping at his father’s face. Robert reaches out.
The following line is changed to express Will’s terror and to pull the most emotion from the audience that one line can.
WILLIAM
“Papa, papa, papa,” Will screams. He struggles from his chair. Reaching his father, screaming. He drops to his knees, sobbing, “Don’t leave me papa…don’t leave me… don’t leave me.”0
ROBERT: Robert grabs Will’s sleeve and yanks him closer. Spitting foam in Will’s face, Robert speaks wildly, “Run, Will. Run…” Walter suddenly appears and grabs Will. “Hide him…Save him…” Robert is choking on the never ending foam.
The guests are crashing around the room, women shrieking and screaming and grabbing their frightened, wailing children, men scrambling in horror to help them escape, wine and glass tumbling to the floor.
ARLETTE: Arlette runs down the aisle reaching for Walters arm. “Hide him in the forest with the peasants before they kill him. Now, run, the both of you.” Then she turns to Robert, holding him up, trying to wipe the foam away. They have to tear William away from his father, screaming, “Papa papa, papa…!” The Archbishop is running toward Robert to give him his last rites.
One man stands still in the chaos, hands on his son’s shoulders.
Robert looks up, gasping for air as he dies, and looks straight into Allan’s eyes. He watches as Allan turns and walks slowly through the door.
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LESSON 13 – TRANSFORMATIONAL JOURNEY – PM
Trish’s Transformational Journey
What I learned from doing this assignment is a new way of clarifying my main character(s) and thinking/organizing my script based this assignment.
LOGLINE: TRANSFORMATIONAL JOURNEY
Harald, the young brother of King Olaf, King of Norway sees his brother and his dream die violently in battle and must escape and fight to heal physically, emotionally, and spiritually until he faces challenges that mature him before he begins his journey back to Norway to become King.OLD WAYS: a) Hero worships older brother Olaf. b) Older brother living his childhood dream as King of Norway. c) Wants to be just like him. d) Too young and immature to go into battle to see Olaf’s grisly death, and nearly die himself.
e) Felt envious and resentful, feels guilty – suvivor guilt and alone. Naive but loyal untried boy warrior.NEW WAYS: Mature, clever, smart man who has fought and won many battles of different kinds, is now ready to return home to become King of Norway.
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LESSON 13 – TRANSFORMATIONAL JOURNEY – PM
Trish’s Transformational Journey
What I learned from doing this assignment is a new way of clarifying my main character(s) and thinking/organizing my script based this assignment.
LOGLINE: TRANSFORMATIONAL JOURNEY
Harald, the young brother of King Olaf, King of Norway sees his brother and his dream die violently in battle and must escape and fight to heal physically, emotionally, and spiritually until he faces challenges that mature him before he begins his journey back to Norway to become King.OLD WAYS: a) Hero worships older brother Olaf. b) Older brother living his childhood dream as King of Norway. c) Wants to be just like him. d) Too young and immature to go into battle to see Olaf’s grisly death, and nearly die himself.
e) Felt envious and resentful, feels guilty – suvivor guilt and alone. Naive but loyal untried boy warrior.NEW WAYS: Mature, clever, smart man who has fought and won many battles of different kinds, is now ready to return home to become King of Norway.
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LESSON 14 – MOST MEMORABLE LINE
Trish’s Most Memorable Line
What I learned from doing this assignment is that there is always room for improvement. It appears that in the rewrites new ideas pop up. This was fun.
INT – RECEPTION ROOM – FALAISE CASTLE – NIGHT
Duke Robert raises his glass. He looks around the room at all his guests: friends, family, and enemies.
GUEST 1: Someone whispers, “I hope he makes this a short speech.” A woman’s voice.
GUEST 2: After that fealty pantomime, I cannot see that happening. But at least the food will be hot and plentiful.”
GUEST 1: “Is food all you ever think about, Nigel?”
GUEST 2: “No. I think about mead, and wine too. I dream about them. And women of course.”
GUEST 1: “I think you’ve had enough wine. And you do have a wife.
GUEST 2: “I know.”
ROBERT: “Friends,” the Duke begins, “and family, Archbishop, welcome all to share this feast with us in honor of my only son and heir, William, Duke-to-Be of all my kingdom. I am pleased with all the new nobles who have come to swear fealty to my son… especially if I should happen to die before my time.”
Everyone laughs and raises their glasses high.
ALLAN: Duke Allan III raises his glass and toasts, “Long life to William, the Duke to be…but not too soon we hope.”
Everyone laughs again.
ARTHUR THE MAJOR DOMO: The Duke suspects all the guests have been at the mead before dinner. He looks at his major domo with raised eyebrow, who comes forward as if signaled. He speaks in a low voice to Robert. “Your grace, one of the serving boys is a relative of His Grace, Allan de Balonge, and has poisoned your Grace’s next glass of wine. Shall I imprison the boy?”
ROBERT: Robert casually gazes out at his guests. “By all means do so. Take my glass, Arthur, before he delivers it and make sure Allan has it.” Things might get even more interesting as the night progresses.
NIGEL Viscount CANTENTIN: The next to toast, wineglass in hand, “To Duke Robert and his son and heir upon this, his ninth birthday. May he live a long and prosperous life. So, please, raise your glasses. A toast: long live Duke Robert and his son and heir, William.”
The guests all raise their glasses to the toast.
Duke Robert signals the wine steward to pour more wine. Duke first, and then on his right, William. On his left, Walter, brother of Arlette, William’s mother, now wife of his friend Earl Herluin of Conteville halfway across the room. Then all others wherever they stand. He looks around the room, interspersed with more friends, family, and recent enemies, now sworn vassals, suspiciously. Supposedly loyal now. He took a sip from his new glass of wine. Might as well stir the pot.
ROBERT: “Archbishop Mauger, we haven’t heard from you. Don’t you wish William well as the future Duke?”
ARCHBISHOP MAUGER: The archbishop glares at Robert. He might say that more and more as the night unfolds. Strike where the pain would hurt the most. Separate the wolves out. “To the future Duke of Normandy with all good wishes for his reign by the Grace of God.”
ROBERT: “Well spoke, Archbishop. Speaking of reigns,” Robert spoke casually, “I’ve been thinking of taking a journey to Jerusalem to meet the Pope.” Robert watched as Allan switched his wineglass with that of his wife. The scoundrel.
More wine was needed to loosen more tongues. Robert signals for more wine to be served. His very best vintage in honor of the occasion of his son’s acknowledgement, by his vassals of Will. His chosen heir to inherit the kingdom of Normandy, future now secured.
ALLAN: Allan laughs, and sips his new glass of wine. “Yes. Perhaps you should, now that you’ve conquered most of Normandy. No doubt you have much for which to ask forgiveness.”
ROBERT: Robert paused, then lowers his glass. “No doubt I do, Allan. Almost as much as you have to beg God’s forgiveness for your many sins.” Robert watched Arlette pour something into her wineglass. What could she be up to now?
ALLAN: “Beg, my lord?” questioned Allan. Allan grabs for his wife’s wineglass. “I’m sorry my love, but you’ve had enough wine for the night. He knocks it out of her hands, spilling it. He hands the empty glass to a passing waiter. “See that my wife receives no more wine tonight.
CASSANDRA: “But husband…”
ALLAN: “Cassandra, Cassandra, Cassandra. Hush, like the dutiful wife you are.”
ROBERT: Robert interrupts abruptly, unwilling to see Cassandra further humiliated. “Yes, Allan. Beg…on your knees, if that’s at all possible.”
ALLAN: “Perhaps before the Lord it is, Your Grace.”
ROBERT: “To think that you did Will the honor of bowing before him tonight.” Robert watches Arlette switch glasses of wine, sending her glass over to Allan via the young wine server. The minx.
ARCHBISHOP: “Don’t you think it a bit blasphemous to compare Will to God, Robert?”
ROBERT: “No, Archbishop. As a Duke, as you teach, Will is an agent of God on earth. He deserves as much obeisance as one gives to God himself. Wouldn’t you agree, Alan?”
ALLAN: “Being a Duke myself, I must of course agree. Perhaps thus to only bow before God, then.” Reaching for another glass of wine from the young wine server, Allan clumsily knocks it over.
YOUNG WINE SERVER: “Perhaps a new glass, Your Grace?”
ALLAN: “Of course a new glass, you bumbling idiot.” In a quiet aside, as he pretends to pat at his waistcoat, he whispers, “Five pounds if you give this glass to Duke Robert.” He surreptitiously points to the poisoned with glass, and waits for the servant’s nod, and surreptitiously passes him five pounds and picks out a new wineglass.
ROBERT: “Then you must come with me to Jerusalem before it’s too late. And Nigel must come with us too. And perhaps Roger Montgomery. Let’s all travel down together since we are all so in need of forgiveness.
ALLAN: “It might already be too late, Your Grace.”
ROBERT: “Is it ever too late, Roger Montgomery? What say you?”
ROGER: No, Your Grace.
ROBERT: What better friends could we travel with on a journey of such long duration?”
ROGER: “None other, Your Grace,” Roger mumbles into his wineglass.
ROBERT: “One last glass of wine all around, Arthur, before we eat.” Arthur and the serving boys move among the crowd one more time. Everyone happily accepts more of Robert’s best wine.
ALLAN: Allan muses, “Perhaps we will all come. We shall see what happens before you leave on this journey, Your Grace.”
ROBERT: Robert lifts his final glass of wine, before dinner, the high-lights of the chandelier overhead and the glowing sconces twinkling in it. He raises it to his lips and drains it to the last drop. “Then, to a future journey to bow before God and now a fine meal to be accented with my finest vintage from my own cellars. Can life be any sweeter than this day and this night?”
GUESTS: “No, Your Grace, We wish you and William every felicitation…and we anticipate your dinner with pleasure.” Everyone laughs as they all raise their glasses to Robert and William and drink.
As Robert starts to sit in his chair at the head of the table, he convulses, then crashes into his chair, his glass slipping from his fingers to the floor. Foam begins to pour from his lips. He desperately looks at Will. Will is gaping at his father’s face. Robert reaches out.
The following line is changed to express Will’s terror and to pull the most emotion from the audience that one line can.
WILLIAM
“Papa, papa, papa,” Will screams. He struggles from his chair. Reaching his father, screaming. He drops to his knees, sobbing, “Don’t leave me papa…don’t leave me… don’t leave me.”0
ROBERT: Robert grabs Will’s sleeve and yanks him closer. Spitting foam in Will’s face, Robert speaks wildly, “Run, Will. Run…” Walter suddenly appears and grabs Will. “Hide him…Save him…” Robert is choking on the never ending foam.
The guests are crashing around the room, women shrieking and screaming and grabbing their frightened, wailing children, men scrambling in horror to help them escape, wine and glass tumbling to the floor.
ARLETTE: Arlette runs down the aisle reaching for Walters arm. “Hide him in the forest with the peasants before they kill him. Now, run, the both of you.” Then she turns to Robert, holding him up, trying to wipe the foam away. They have to tear William away from his father, screaming, “Papa papa, papa…!” The Archbishop is running toward Robert to give him his last rites.
One man stands still in the chaos, hands on his son’s shoulders.
Robert looks up, gasping for air as he dies, and looks straight into Allan’s eyes. He watches as Allan turns and walks slowly through the door.
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LESSON 2 – DEFINE THE CHANGE
What I learned doing this assignment is to learn more about the purpose of my screenplay by exploring the answers to the 1<sup>st</sup> three questions.
Trish’s First Three Decisions
1. Profound Truth: Set your goal, face the obstacles, and work to overcome them.
2. Audience Journey: Take courage to act and persevere in pursuit of their dream as they take steps towards an unknown future.
3. Entertainment Vehicle: Embellished Conflict
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Kate…it sounds like you have led an interesting life. I’ve often thought about how great if would be to go to Australia…still do, because of the movies about down under! Until I saw a National Geo magazine that had a picture of an Aboriginal’s feet and read that they all go barefoot from birth onwards. I just said “ouch.” I would still like to go though. Does your screenplay have some of this Aussie stuff in it?
I love the title of your Screenplay “My Own Blue Ridge.” Great title! Makes me want to read it.
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Hey Karen, I’m not an ocean person as I am a landlubber…but I love the water – ocean, lakes, rivers, ponds, and rain. I love that you may be a former mermaid! Hoping you can keep such a busy schedule and a long-distance all going at the same time. Sounds like it…You must be the Queen of organizationl…which I am Not! I love languages too and have studied several, but only know English well. Idaho is – or rather has been – a not multi-language experence, but it is lovely and the nature part is sweet (don’t tell anyone). Lots of nice lakes.
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Thank you for your service. I will put you on my prayer list if you agree. Please keep writing your screenplay. It will be exciting to watch how it develops. Sometimes I get busy with keeping up on my own writing…am currently in the Rewrite class and at least 3 lessons behind. Hope to catch up this weekend. Read somewhere that if a person writes for 6 or 7 hours a day on their screenplay, the draft can be done in 15 days, with about 10 drafts after that to polish it up! hmmmm…
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Still working!! Amazing. You must be an extraordinary person, Bill, and I wish you success on your profound movie lessons. Never give up! I am working on my screenplay – unfinished – but getting closer with the goal. The rewrite class I’m just finishing up is incredible for development when you get further along.
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Wowza Susan! I watched that Titanic dive and loved it, although I wished it had been longer or had more editions. Because of that film, I went to my city’s Discovery Center, which had a 4 room presentation with some actual artifacts and a lot of information. I loved it. How wonderful for you to actually go there. I love nature too. Lately I’ve been fascinated by clouds and with our weather we have had plenty of chances to take pics. Of course, I have had to take pics of my apple tree that is blooming. And the color yellow on anything reaches my inner soul. Your life sounds pretty amazing and am sorry to hear that you have difficulties with an issue.
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The Lesson marked 15 is incorrect.
LESSON 13 – SEPARATING CHARACTER DIALOGUE
Trish Loves Separating Character Dialogue
What I learned from doing this assignment is that I must finish the screenplay to get a more accurate assessment of this assignment. However, I could see that Harald is progressing from the attributes of a young boy in his first battle, to a war-hardened soldier by the end, a nice maturity scale.
CHARACTER PROFILE:
Harald:
Role: King in the making
Core Character Traits: Loyal, Fierce, Brave, Determined
Character Subtext: Harald is is forced to leave childhood behind and become a man.
Flaw: Naïve
1. Before:
Harald screaming Olaf’s name
After:
“Olaf, Olaf. I’m coming. I’m coming. Dalkr, with me. Kalfr! Wait! Wait! You snake. You bas…”
Before:
“Who says I’m pouting?
After:
“Who says I’m pouting?” as he thumps his fist against his wounded leg. “Ouch.”
2. Before:
“I’m already in my bed. There’s no place you can send me.”
After:
“I’m already in this stupid, stinking bed. There’s no other stinking place you can send me no matter how badly you want to.
3. Before:
“Don’t you mean Heaven, Dalkr? I’m sure that’s where he is this very moment.”
After: “Don’t you mean Heaven, Dalkr? I’m sure that’s where he is this very moment. That’s where I want to be right now too. With my brother.
4. Before:
“I miss him. I’m tired of laying around in bed all day. You guys get to be up doing stuff, though I don’t know what that might be.”
After:
“I miss my brother. I’m tired of laying in bed all day with nothing to do. You guys get to be up doing stuff all day, though for the life of me, I don’t know what that could possibly be! I can only imagine while I lay here and twiddle my thumbs.”
Before:
“I’m not a king, Elisiv, but I will be. Will you marry me and be my wife?”
After:
“I know I’m not a king yet, Elisiv, but I will be the King of Norway one day. Will you marry me and be my wife?”
Before:
“Who betrayed us, you pig?”
After:
Who betrayed us, you rancid pig of a whoreson?”
Before:
“Well, my friends, we ride for home today.”
After:
“Well my friends, today we ride for Norway, towards our futures, and either life or death. God alone knows.”
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LESSON 13 – SEPARATING CHARACTER DIALOGUE
Trish Loves Separating Character Dialogue
What I learned from doing this assignment is that I must finish the screenplay to get a more accurate assessment of this assignment. However, I could see that Harald is progressing from the attributes of a young boy in his first battle, to a war-hardened soldier by the end, a nice maturity scale.
CHARACTER PROFILE:
Harald:
Role: King in the making
Core Character Traits: Loyal, Fierce, Brave, Determined
Character Subtext: Harald is is forced to leave childhood behind and become a man.
Flaw: Naïve
1. Before:
Harald screaming Olaf’s name
After:
“Olaf, Olaf. I’m coming. I’m coming. Dalkr, with me. Kalfr! Wait! Wait! You snake. You bas…”
Before:
“Who says I’m pouting?
After:
“Who says I’m pouting?” as he thumps his fist against his wounded leg. “Ouch.”
2. Before:
“I’m already in my bed. There’s no place you can send me.”
After:
“I’m already in this stupid, stinking bed. There’s no other stinking place you can send me no matter how badly you want to.
3. Before:
“Don’t you mean Heaven, Dalkr? I’m sure that’s where he is this very moment.”
After: “Don’t you mean Heaven, Dalkr? I’m sure that’s where he is this very moment. That’s where I want to be right now too. With my brother.
4. Before:
“I miss him. I’m tired of laying around in bed all day. You guys get to be up doing stuff, though I don’t know what that might be.”
After:
“I miss my brother. I’m tired of laying in bed all day with nothing to do. You guys get to be up doing stuff all day, though for the life of me, I don’t know what that could possibly be! I can only imagine while I lay here and twiddle my thumbs.”
Before:
“I’m not a king, Elisiv, but I will be. Will you marry me and be my wife?”
After:
“I know I’m not a king yet, Elisiv, but I will be the King of Norway one day. Will you marry me and be my wife?”
Before:
“Who betrayed us, you pig?”
After:
Who betrayed us, you rancid pig of a whoreson?”
Before:
“Well, my friends, we ride for home today.”
After:
“Well my friends, today we ride for Norway, towards our futures, and either life or death. God alone knows.”
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LESSON 2
Profound Movie
Trish’s First Three Decisions
What I learned from doing this assignment is that I had no idea what the Profound Truth would be or what the Audience Change would be. Still may not know.
1. Profound Truth: Face obstacles and overcome them
2. Audience Change: Be courageous and take action as they face an unknown future
3. Entertainment Vehicle: Embellished True Story
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LESSON 2
Profound Movie
Trish’s First Three Decisions
What I learned from doing this assignment is that I had no idea what the Profound Truth would be or what the Audience Change would be. Still may not know.
1. Profound Truth: face obstacles and overcome them
2. Audience Change: Be courageous and take action as they face an unknown future
3. Entertainment Vehicle: Embellished True Story
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Trish’s Analysis of Groundhog Day
What I learned doing this assignment is that paying attention to the profound structure made a big difference in understanding the movie. It enhanced my appreciation of it beyond the comedic value.
1. a) The change in this movie is about a self-centered, egotistical, unaware man who by reliving the same day over and over comes to see and understand himself and others better.
b) The transformational journey the character goes through advances beyond manipulating others for his own gains to treating them like the valuable humans they are, with respect and care.
2. a) The change agent is Ground Hog day, having to relive himself, and Rita the eventual love interest because her personality is opposite his and he eventually sees the difference.
b) Phil Conner is the Transformable character and he is perfect for the journey because he is so obnoxious and completely unaware of anyone outside of himself, whom he is also completely unaware of.
c) The oppression is the constant repetition of being in a day that keeps repeating itself and gives him the opportunity to see himself more clearly and others too, to either accept the journey and learn from it or refuse it and be stuck in his present life until his real death.
3. We are lured into the profound journey by the intrigue of seeing Phil do his life and wondering if he will change, and do it differently. He seems to be fine with his life until he discovers that every day is really just the same old same old.
4. a) Phil and Rita are changed the most, although by the end of the movie we see how one person changing can cause changes in everyone that person meets. Phil is the major change agent. His egotistical, self-centered “old way” colors everyone and everything in a “frozen” world and he cannot connect with anyone else except in superficial ways. By the end of the movie, we see him become a vibrant, loving, kind person whose new personality lets other become more real, multi-faceted and whom he helps become colorful and vibrant in their own lives.
Rita’s personality doesn’t change to extend of Phil’s, but she does change, especially in her judgment of Phil, and in her realization as he helps her explore what she truly wants from life, her personality enlarges to accept love within her standards. She demands the best from Phil, as she opens up and explores her own life goals. In the end she becomes more loving, demanding that her relationships are authentic and that her life can include what she really desires. As Phil changes, she changes too.
5. a) The gradient of change begins with two people (and therefore the people they interact with) who start off primarily concerned with themselves in their individual, dysfunctional lives who through a series of actions and reactions, re-evaluations and events learn and by the end become the people
b) The steps of the Transformational Character go through are: i) completely obtuse and self-centered, to realizing he is stuck in his life, he begins to treat others, not with the prior indifference, but with meanness, then he starts behaving in self-destructive ways and discovers each time that he’s still alive, starts using information he gathers against others, especially Rita. His reliving of Rita slapping his face off, seems to begin making his see differently, to what he really wants. On that journey, his changes begin to affect others in a positive way. They sleep together in a loving, platonic way, and Phil realizes he loves her and wants her in his life just being together. When he “wakes up” again, it’s a brand new sparkling day, and he’s no longer stuck reliving Ground Hog Day. He’s free at last, and so is Rita. They face a new world together.
6. a) The “old way” is challenged by Phil by seeing his real self and not liking himself at all. Becoming conscious of how he is in the world and seeing/living it over and over causes him to realize that he can choose differently. A hard lesson to learn to become “unstuck” in his normal everyday “stuff.” He finds out that he isn’t the center of the universe = he is not a god = without changing he can do and be nothing. He discovers that other people are as plastic as he is until he chooses to get to know them. Then they become real, more interesting too, and more worthy of his care and attention, just like he is starting to see himself. Beliefs challenged: he does make a difference in the world; he can get what he really wants by changing how he sees the world and others in it that he meets; he doesn’t have to be a jerk, he can be kind, involved, and giving, and change other’s worlds even as he changes his own.
7. The most profound moments in the movie are: a) Phil wakes up the next day and everything is the same except his awareness that something is different. b) He begins to drag others into this strange and changeable experience of deja vue. c) He discovers that other people are real. d) his choice of dying change nothing. e) Even a belief that he is god changes nothing in his life. f) He starts to pursue Rita because he sees her life approach in her kindness to him and others, her positive outlook, and her ability to forgive him. g) In the ice sculpture scene he begins to explore himself in a new way which leads to other personal discoveries of self and others. Takes care of an old street person man who dies and shakes up his world view. h) Asks Rita to stay with him. She does. He believes he loves her. i) Wakes up with Rita realizing it’s a brand new day that is different. Lesson learned.
8. Most profound lines of the movie: a) What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same and nothing ever mattered. b) Sometimes I think you have to take the big chances. c) I’m not going to live by their rules anymore. d) If you only had one day to live, what would you do? e) It’s a perfect day, a perfect end to a perfect day. f) I would never love someone like you Phil, cause you can never love anyone else except yourself. g) It’s cold out there every day. h) It’s going to be cold and gray and it’s going to last you the rest of your life. i) Is this what you do with eternity? j) I’ve killed myself so many times, I don’t even exist anymore. k) It was just his time. l) Is there anything I can do for you today?
9. The ending pays off the setups in this movie by resolving Phil’s existential quandary, by the changes Phil, Rita, and others make, by Phil waking up to a different song and realizing that “Today is Tomorrow” which he says to Rita. The both go out together holding hands to a bright, beautiful, glistening snowy day. Phil says to Rita, “Let’s live here.”
10. Profound Truth of this movie is that we make each day lovely ourselves by the way we live it, and who we live it with, the choices we make each day.
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Patricia Carothers
“I agree to the terms of this release form.”
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Hello. I am Patricia Carothers. I am currently working on a screenplay, have a partial one on hold, and have 3 books started. Right now I’m concentrating on finishing up the current screenplay. I hope to not only get new ideas about screenwriting, but also plan to get as much information and practice on creating an awesome screenplay. Hmmm…unique and strange? You might have to talk to my family for the “strange”, but I can say that I love horses, nature, and paint now in pastels.
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LESSON 12
Trish’s Dramatic Scene Transitions
What I learned about doing this assignment is that these transitions are an amazing tool. Playing with them was eye-opening. Watching a movie, I could see them in play out.
BEFORE:
(In the church, Kalfr is enraged. Bested by Olaf at every turn. He orders his two most trusted friends, Thorir and Halek, to:
. KALFR
Go to Denmark immediately, and appeal for an audience with King Canute. Request his aid in re-establishing his rule over Norway as his right and proper kingdom.
Inform him of the treasonous activities and claims that Olaf Sigurdson is making, and the taxes he is collecting. Let him know that many Norwegians are dissatisfied with his claims to be King of all Norway.
Intreat him to come himself or send a competent military leader with a large army to restore his proper position and territory.
THORIR
My Lord, are you fully persuaded that this is the most prudent action to take?
HALEK
At least Olaf is a Norwegian like us. Canute is Danish. Do you truly believe that he will be a better king than Olaf? That he will treat us fairly? That he will be a better King to rule over us than Olaf?
KALFR
Why wouldn’t he be? We are offering him more land, a kingship, and the opportunity to win in battle against the usurper, Olaf? He comes out of this, if he wins, a richer, more powerful man.
THORIR
And what do we get out of it? Prison or death if we lose for sure. . KALFR
Or richer, more powerful, and famous when we win. What say you then?
(While they quietly confer, Kalfr waits patiently. He knows his friends.)
THORIR
We leave immediately.
(They start to move off. Kalfr stops them.)
KALFR
Wait! We will all leave together in case Olaf has set up an ambush for us.
. HALEK
(In an aside to Thorir) That’s not Olaf’s nature. He’s too straightforward and true for such trickery.
(They leave the church. At a whistle they mount up, soldiers falling in two by two. They disappear like ghosts into the dense fog.)
FADE OUT
VISUAL TRANSITION
FADE IN
(Out of the fog, Olaf appears with his men. They are headed for camp not far from the Plain of Sticklestad. Although shrouded in fog he and his men pick it out, one campfire among many, almost by instinct. He throws a leg over his saddle and slips to the ground, weary to the bone.)
OLAF
Well, Harald, that didn’t go well at all, wouldn’t you say?
(Olaf pulls off his gloves one finger at a time and flexes them. A long day.)
HARALD
Kalfr is a snake and a coward. He deserves death. I hope to be the one who crushes him tomorrow.
(Olaf clasps Harald by the shoulder.)
Olaf
That will be my pleasure, Harald. You will have to content yourself with killing someone else…as you will be several rows behind me with Thorensson, Rongald, and Dalkr protecting you.
HARALD
That’s not fair! I want to be by right by your side brother.
OLAF
You can’t be there, Harald. I will need my most able warriors around me if I am to even survive the first wave.
HARALD
But Olaf…
OLAF
(HARSHLY)
Are you a baby that your older brother must watch over you and at the same moment try to hack away at my enemies? To protect you? How long do you think I would live? Minutes? Seconds? Is that what you want? A dead brother so you can step into his shoes and be King yourself?
(Harald is aghast at Olaf’s words. He’s wounded that Olaf might think so poorly of him.)
OLAF
You’re a soldier now. Obey my orders and stop thinking so highly of yourself. Now go to bed.
(Harald leaves the group angry, humiliated, and hurting because of Olaf’s harsh words and because he won’t be in a position to protect Olaf.)
OLAF
(Turns to Thorensson, Rongvald, and Dalkr.)
Your only job tomorrow is to protect Harald. I won’t be able to protect him myself. He’s my youngest brother, most like me. If you do your job well, I will be able to do mine. I would send him home if I could, but I know he wouldn’t go or stay away. If I fall in battle tomorrow, you must save Harald. Kalfr and his men will try to kill him if they can.
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LESSON 5
Trish’s Character Story Beats
What I learned from this assignment that just marching along got the job done. Not sure at this minute that I did it satisfactorily. Will look at again later.
CHARACTER NAME: HARALD – NORWAY
ROLE: King in the making
CORE CHARACTER TRAITS: Loyal, fierce, focused, determined
CHARACTER SUBTEXT: Harald leaves childhood behind and becomes a man, a warrior.
LOGLINE: Harald has lost all his family and his friends become his new familyFlaw: naive
Determined to brutal with enemiesA. His Character Profile – Loyal, fierce, focused, determined
B. His Overall Story
Beginning: Near death on the battlefield close by dead brother. Spirited away to Kiev and King zyaroslav.
Middle: Leaves Kiev with friends and army and is appointed to Emperor’s personal mercenary Varangian army in Constantinople
End: Rides triumphant out of Kiev, wealthy, determined to be King of Norway,, and married to a King Yaroslav’s daughter.
C. Broad Strokes:
1) Harald chooses to fight with his half-brother Olaf who dies, and Harald is nearly killed.
2) Harald’s friends and men whisk him away to mountains to heal.
3) As Harald heals he and the group plan escape to Rus and relatives. Harald’s need for revenge hardens his resolve. His need to be King is also hardened into relentless pursuit.
4) They are welcomed in Kiev at King Yaroslav’s castle. Harald meets the daughter, Elisev, his future wife.
5) Harald and men fight battles with Yaroslav against his enemies.
6) Harald proposes to Elisev who refuses him.
7) He and his men leave for Constantinople to fight for Emperor Michael IV.
8) They fight for many yrs. Harald decides to go home.
9) One last trip to Jerusalem to be baptized in the Jordan river. His friend Rongvald is killed.
10) They enter Constantinople and are imprisoned. A slave girl frees them and they escape.
11) They enter Kiev as heros. Harald marries Elisev
12) Harald and army ride out of Kiev with Elisev and all his riches.D. New Overall Story:
1. Beginning: Harold almost dies at Battle of Sticklstad by his dead brother Olaf. His friends and other soldiers whisk him away onto the mountains to a rustic cabin here he gradually heals thanks to Thorensson’s skills. Harold’s resolve to be King and get enough money hardens into a quest.
2. Middle: He and his friends plans his escape to Rus to King Yarislav and relatives in Kiev. Thorensson with men get boats in Sweden port and they sail up the Baltic sea.cross overland to Kiev where they fight with Yarislav. Harold woos Elisev who refuses his proposal. They all leave for Constantinople.
At Constantinople they become part of the Varingian guard with Harrold as their lead captain. They fight many battles and all grow rich. Harold sends all of his booty to Yaroslav to store.
End: Plan to go to Jerusalem to be baptized. When two traitors in their midst attack them, one mortally wounds Ronvald, and Thor and Harald kill the other. Promises to keep to Rongvald made before he dies. Burn him in a funeral pyre. Next day go to Jerusalem and get Baptised Return to Constantinople and are imprisoned. Thor’s slave girl love frees them and escapes with them.
Once in Kiev there is a big celebration and two marriages. Next day, Harold and Elisev, Thor and slave girl, and all Harold’s men leave Kiev and head home to Norway to see about making Harald King of Norway.
End of Part OneCHARACTER PROFILE – 2
CHARACTER NAME: RONGVALD – VIKING
ROLE: Best friend to Harald – Norway
CORE CHARACTER TRAITS: Faithful, honest, brave, righteous
CHARACTER SUBTEXT: Rongvald embraces the Viking qualities of warrior and love for family.
LOGLINE: Rongvald takes action first and thinks after.
Righteous to narrow minded.
Makes the character hard hearted and judgemental.
Goal: Rongvald has a character arc now. He’s more faceted.1. His Character Profile:
A) Beginning: Faithful, honest, brave, righteous, cranky.
B) Middle: Fiercly protective, brave, blunt.
C) End: Dies: fierce, gentle, tough, brave.
2. His Overall Story
Beginning: Helps save a wounded Harald from death and escape to mountain hut with Thorensson and others.
Middle: Sails from Sweden to Kiev with Harald, Thorensson and army of faithful followers, then to Constantinople with his friends and army.
End: Is murdered by betrayers in Harald’s zrmy on their way to Jerusalem to be baptized in river JordanC. Broad Strokes
1) Rongvald has left his family to fight with Olaf and Harald at Sticklestad. Although slightly wounded he helps grab Harald and haul him into mountains to a rustic cabin.
2) Rongvald heals and guards the cabin and Harald until Harald heals. Worry is now one of his traits.
3) They all escape into Sweden and race down to meet Thorensson at the warf. They all sail up the Baltic Sea to Nova, cross land carrying boats to Kiev.
4) Rongvald rides beside Harald in battles for Yaroslav.
5) He goes to Constantinople with Harald and fights in all the battles.
6) On the way to Jerusalem, Rongvald is mortally wounded. Gives last instructions to Harald. Dies.
7) Burned to ashes in a funeral pyre.
New Overall Story:
1. Beginning: Rongvald reluctantly leaves his family to fight with his friend Harald.
2. Middle: Rongvald gripes-a mumbling monologue of crankiness that gets louder and more frequent the farther from home he gets and as the years go by.
3. End: Rongvald doesn’t fault Harald for his death. Cuts a piece of his hair to send home with his love and new fortune to family. Dies and burned in funeral pyre.CHARACTER PROFILE – 3
CHARACTER NAME: WILLIAM – NORMANDY
ROLE: Duke of Normandy
CORE CHARACTER TRAITS: fierce, bold, wise, wary, honestCHARACTER SUBTEXT:
Willian is the illigitimate son of a Duke
Want: to force his enemies into submission
Need: to be accepted as legitimate
Wary to impulsive. Makes him unpredictable, which could be interesting
LOGLINE: Fights and works hard to be a success as a man and leader of his people.
Character Overall Story
Beginning: As a young boy, 6 yrs old, Will sees his father die from poison at dinner.
Middle: At age 9, he becomes Duke of Normsndy. He must fight against neighbors, greedy family, and the King of France.
End: As King Edward remains ia. ll, William expects to be King of England. He marries the daughter, Mathilda, of powerful Count Baldwin V of Flanders.His Character Profile: fierce, bold, wise, wary, honest, tricky.
B. His Overall Story:
1. Beginning: At the age of 6, Will sees his father die of poison at the dinner table.
2. Middle: at the age of 15, the King of France, Henri 1, knights William.
3. End: As Duke of Normandy William must fight everyone to stay alive.Broad Strokes:
1. At age 2, Sticklstad happened. Will didn’t care. He was a daddy’s boy. He is a Bastard and suffers all the slings from children and adults.
2. At age 6, he sees his father die from poison at dinner.
3. His uncle guards him and keeps the dukedom going.
4. At age 9, he is declared Duke of Normandy. The fighting begins. Will must learn fast.
5. At age 15, King of France knights him.
6. From that time, he fights neighbors, kinsmen, the King of France.
7. He Marries Mathilda of Flanders.New Overall Story:
Beginning: Will learns from a young age that the world is never safe.
Middle: After fighting for many years, he captures Harold the Earl of Wessex and Kent etc. essentially his prisoner. Doesnt actually threaten him but Harold is alone amongst Will’s fighting men. Forces Harold to fight under Will’s flag, swear fealty and promise to support William as King of England, then lets him go home.
End: Will returns to fighting to secure his kingdom. The best move William makes is courting Mathilda of Flanders and marrying her as provides heir and children who will rule.CHARACTER PROFILE – 4
CHARACTER NAME: HAROLD – ENGLAND
ROLE: Heir of the Earl of Wessex, Kent etc.
CORE CHARACTER TRAITS: diplomatic, charming, intelligent, valiant, honest.CHARACTER SUBTEXT: possible heir to English throne
World view: revolves around me-my family.
Want: to be the best
Need: his father’s approval
LOGLINE: Harold works with his father to remain near King Edward to manipulate him into making Harold king.
Mission/Agenda: To become King no matter what it takes.
Young smart man to leader of men.Character Profile: diplomatic, charming, intelligent, valiant, somewhat honest.
Character Overall Story.
Beginning: A young boy being groomed by his father to be Earl of Wessex and Kent, and to become close enough to King Edward the Confessor to become king when Edward dies.Middle: Learns to be diplomatic and smooth over squabbles while maneuvering closer to king. Harold is sent as an envoy to William of Normandy, shipwrecked and captured and taken to William.
End: Forced to declare fealty to William, fights with him against his enemies and allowed to go home after he promises to support William for King of England when King Edward dies. Life goes on as usual.Broad Strokes:
1. Harold is born into privilege, power, and wealth as the son of the richest most powerful man in England, Earl Godwonson.
2. At a young age -6- Harold’s father grooms him to be an Earl and gain the skill to be the king’s main advisor.
3. King Edward sends Harold to William of Normandy to tell him he will be King of England.
4. Harold is captured and taken to William. All alone and surrounded by potential enemies and death.
5. Harold stays quite a long time. Must swear fealty to William and promise to support his position as King of England and undergoes fealty ceremony to Will.New Overall Story:
Beginning: Harold groomed to be diplomat by his father. Tutors him on the Sticklestad battle mistakes made. Father also tutors him on how to successfully manage estates of earldom. Primary function – how to manage the King.
Middle: the King tries to manage Harold by sending him to William to tell him he will be King of England on Edward’s death But Harold is captured and turned over to William as his prisoner, then as his virtual prisoner.
End: In order to be free to return home, Harold must bow to Will, swear his fealty to him in a ceremony, and fight battles with him. He must promise to support William as King of Egland before William will let him go. Harold uses all his charm and diplomatic skills to survive and lies about his oath as it was made under duress so he could return home.CHARACTER PROFILE – 5
CHARACTER NAME: THORENSSON – VIKING
ROLE: best friend with Harald, Rongvald – of Norway
CORE CHARACTER TRAITS: genial, fun loving, loyal.
Flaw: sly
Want: to have a family.CHARACTER SUBTEXT: Thorensson acts tough but is a big softy.
LOGLINE: Thorensson is a careful advisor to Harald who couches his advice in humor.
Changed genial to cranky In ” sarcastic” humor.Made him seem more real and interesting.
Gives him a goal outside of warring.His Overall story:
Beginning: Helps wounded Harald to escape death from enemies to a mountain hut. Escapes to Kiev
Middle: After leaving Kiev with Harald and army for Constantinople, meets a beautiful slave girl from the Emperor’s palace, who is in charge of seeing that they are fed.
End: Rides out of Kiev for Norway with Harald and Elisev.His Character Profile: careful advisor, sarcastic humor, faithful.
Broad Strokes:
1) Thorensson fights at Sticklestad with Harald and Rongvald. He’s unscathed.
2) Thorensson helps Rongvald and other warriors take a severely wounded Harald up into the mountains to a rustic hut.
3. Thorensson helps guard and heal Harald.
4) When Harald is mostly healed, Harald sends Thorensson with twenty men down to a coastal town in Sweden to buy and outfit ships to sail to Rus, to King Yarislav in Kiev.
5) He fights alongside Harald and Rongvald as they fight Yarislav’s enemies. Thor watches as Harald woos Elisev and learns. Rongvald tells tales of his wooing tactics with his wife and points out Harald’s mistakes. He gets lonely and envious.
6) They all go to Constantinople to work for the Emperor to earn a lot of money and booty.
7) Thor meets a beautiful slave girl in the palace who brings them food. Thor is smitten and begins his wooing to the ribaldry of his friends.
8) Fighting and winning many battles they all get rich. They decide to go to Jerusalem and get baptized in the river Jordan.
9) Two of Kalfr’s betraying fighters try to kill Harald. Thor kills one and Ronvald is mortally wounded by the other, who will die too.
10) After a funeral pyre, the men go and get baptised. Now Thorensson can hardly wait to go back to Constantinople.
11) They all go back to Constantinople. They are arrested and put in jail to die later. Thor connects with slave girl and she frees them.
12) Thor takes slave girl to Kiev. When Harry marries Elisev, Thor marries slave girl. Big celebration.
13) Thor and wife leave with Harald, Elisev, and his army as they ride out through the castle gates.
(Some new changes above in story)New Overall Story:
Beginning: Thorensson goes to Sticklestad to fight with Harald and Rongvald as a supporting friend. Thor helps heal Harald, smart in creating medicines and wound care.
Middle: Thorensson works hard to protect his friends fighting for Yaroslav. He’s lonely as Rongvald laments his absence from family and Harald woos Elisev. He later meets and woos a beautiful slave girl when they all go to Constantinople to fight for the Emperor.End: At the death of Rongvald, Thorensson realizes life is short and unpredictable. He goes to Jerusalem but now he’ll fight for himself and his own dreams as well as protect Harald. He persuades the slave girl and she saves them all when they get imprisoned in Constantinople. He takes her to Kiev and marries her. He leaves Kiev for home with Harald and Elisev, and the army.
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Hi Bob. Your #5 elevation is excellent. Questions: 1) What is Vespoli’s isolation about since he seems surrounded by people? 2) It seems the granddaughter could play a bigger part in the story … possibly bigger than Momma? 3) is there a rowing person who can/ is going to act as a friend or ally a truth teller that helps?
Hope this helps, Bob. Nicely advancement of story.
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Patricia. Just saw your nsg for feedback
Will email you. Do you want fb on 3 or 4 or both or…? Let ne know at trish94c183@gmail.com
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Anyone up for feedback?
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Lesson 4
Trish’s Character Profiles
What I learned from doing this assignment is:
small changes can make a big difference and make a more interesting, deeper character.CHARACTER PROFILE – 1
CHARACTER NAME: HARALD – NORWAY
ROLE: King in the making
CORE CHARACTER TRAITS: Loyal, fierce, focused, determinedCHARACTER SUBTEXT: Harald leaves childhood behind and becomes a man, a warrior.
LOGLINE: Harald has lost all his family and his friends become his new family
Flaw: naive
Determined to brutalCHARACTER PROFILE – 2
CHARACTER NAME: RONGVALD – VIKING
ROLE: Best friend to Harald – Norway
CORE CHARACTER TRAITS: Faithful, honest, brave, righteousCHARACTER SUBTEXT: Rongvald embraces the Viking qualities of warrior and love for family
LOGLINE: Rongvald takes action first and thinks after.
Righteous to narrow minded.
Makes the character hard hearted and judgemental.Goal: Rongvald has a character arc now. He’s more faceted.
CHARACTER PROFILE – 3
CHARACTER NAME: WILLIAM – NORMANDY
ROLE: Duke of Normandy
CORE CHARACTER TRAITS: fierce, bold, wise, wary, honestCHARACTER SUBTEXT:
Willian is the illigitimate son of a Duke.Want: to force his enemies into submission
Need: to be accepted as legitimateWary to impulsive. Makes him unpredictable, which could be interesting
LOGLINE: Fights and works hard to be a success as a man and leader of his people.
CHARACTER PROFILE – 4
CHARACTER NAME: HAROLD – ENGLAND
ROLE: Heir of the Earl of Wessex, Kent etc.
CORE CHARACTER TRAITS: diplomatic, charming, intelligent, valiant, honestCHARACTER SUBTEXT: possible heir to English throne
World view: revolves around me-my family.
Want: to be the best
Need: his father’s approvalLOGLINE: Harold works with his father to remain near King Edward to manipulate him into making Harold king.
Mission/Agenda: To become King no matter what it takes.
Leader to bully = a distastful characterCHARACTER PROFILE – 5
CHARACTER NAME: THORENSSON – VIKING
ROLE: best friend with Harald, Rongvald – of Norway
CORE CHARACTER TRAITS: genial, fun loving, loyalFlaw: sly
Want: to have a family.CHARACTER SUBTEXT:
LOGLINE: Thorensson is a careful advisor to Harald who couches his advice in humor.
Changed genial to cranky
In ” sarcastic” humorMade him seem more real and interesting.
Gives him a goal outside of warring. -
Anyone up for Feed Back?
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Would like to partner for FB)
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Lesson 3a and b – Elevate by Beats
Trish’s Basic Structure Version
What I’ve learned from doing this assignment is that weaving three disparate yet similar lives together onto a whole narrative is difficult. I kept getting lost among the beats during creation, but doing it was enlightening as far as structure, progression, idea generation, scene and word realignmen, more etc …awesome. still have more work to do.
Logline: The captivating and complex story of 11th Century royalty in 3 countries and the ongoing battles and betrayals that lead to the ultimate emergence of King William of England. (Most credit goes to Bob for this logline).
EXT: FOREST IN NORWAY – NIGHT
1. King of Norway, Olaf Tyggerson and his men ride silently through a dark and foggy forest to meet Kálfr Arnonson at his instigation, at a small Norwegian church. Meeting to discuss Kalfr’s disgruntalment with King Olaf’s policies. (Added to scene, realligned)
2. Olaf, suspicious, catches a glimpse of a man on a horse, sends his men to surround Kalfr’s silently. Meets Kalfr inside calling peace in company with a few of his warriors. (add info, realign)
2. INT: NORWEGIAN STAVE CHURCH –
NIGHT3. Kálfr Árnason raves against Olaf’s taxes, huge army -over 500 men; cost to feed them. Gives the signal to attack to ambush Olaf but finds out his men, outside and then inside are surrounded by Olaf’s men. Olaf shows mercy but Kálfr Árnonson is angry and bitter. Olaf leaves. (elaborated and added info)
4. Harold Godwinson, (born c. 1020—Parents: father is Godwine, Earl of Wessex and Kent; Mother, Gytha powerful noble Danish family related to Canute. He is 10 yrs old at time of Sticklestad.
5. William Born: September 1028 at Falaise, Normandy. Parents: Robert I, Duke of Normandy, and Arlette daughter of Fulbert (Will is illegitimate son). He is 2 yrs old at time of Sticklestad.
6. Kálfr Árnason sends emissaries to King Canute to be King of Norway. King Canute sends an army to the field of Sticklestad
EXT: STICKLSTAD, NORWAY – NIGHT
7. Olaf, Rongvald, Thoresson, Dalgr, Harald-15 years old, and other close friends and leaders meet to discuss strategy and position. Olaf tells Harald to stay behind him. (added info)
EXT: STICKLSTAD BEACH – DAWN
8. The army challenges King Olaf and his men on the Sticklestad Field, north of Trondheim. Kálfr Árnason’s men join King Canute’s warriors, 40,000 warriors total, and go to battle King Olaf’s forces, 10,000 warriors.
9. Olaf and his men, as well as the enemy armies, know it’s hopeless but face it courageously. Kalfr, a betrayer mocks King Olaf. In heavy fighting, Olaf is stabbed many times and many of his warriors are viciously killed. His young half- brother Harald, who is close behind Olaf, is badly wounded and near death. Leaving the raging carnage behind. some warriors rush to save Harald. They escape on foot into the mountains on the border of Sweden to hide. (rearranged)
EXT: WESSEX – ENGLAND – DAY
10. Harold of Wessex hears about the battle, as his father, Godwine speaks with returning warriors. Harold is 10 years old in 1030 and already busy learning to be a diplomat and warrior. (info added)
INT: NORMANDY – COURTYARD – DAY
11. Robert, Duke of Normandy, stands outside on cobblestone entryway, holding his two year old son, William, in 1030. Robert receives his spies who report to him the results of the Battle of Sticklestad. (elaborated)
EXT – MOUNTAINS – DEEP NIGHT
12. For months Harald and his men hide in the mountains to recuperate in a rustic cabin, avoiding discovery by Canute’s and Kalfr’s army. Harald is near death. An experienced warrior tends his wounds. Harald survives.
INT: BEDROOM – NIGHT
13. While Harold heals slowly, once the fevers stop, he thinks “What now?” He realizes he can’t go home. Is his family even alive? His desire, as a Viking, if he lives… he feels the burning need for revenge, as will his men. The need to recapture the kingship also hardens into resolve. (additions, new info)
INT: CABIN – DAY
14. As Harald heals, he and his men continue to hide in the mountains. They determine to make speed over the mountains and down into Sweden, to the river at______. Thorensson will already buy enough boats for 500 men to travel to Rus, to Harald’s relatives at King Yaroslav’s palace for safety.(new info, strategy)
15. Ext: MONTAGE OF TRAVEL TO KIEV
Loading boats-very busy warfare
Sailing upriver to port.
Landing and hauling boats overland ( new oinfo)EXT: WIDE THOROUGH FARE – DAY
16. Harald and his men ride into Rus to the palace. A great disturbance. Met by Varingian Guards and surrounded. Settled into quarters. (new info)
INT: LARGE CELABRATORY ROOM – NIGHT
17. Harald, 17 years old, meets Elisev, King Yaroslav’s 15 years old daughter at dinner. Yaroslav and Elisev talk about how well her brothers have married. Yaroslav talks about his enemies. Harald tells him about the Battle of Sticklstad and Olaf’s death. (add info, reallignment).
INT: LARGE MEETING ROOM – DAY
18. Yarislov puts Harald in charge of his troops as captain, with Rongvald, Thorasson, and Dalkr as his lieutenants. Harald is fiercely angry. He impresses Yarislov by winning some important battles, as he refines abilities, and creativity. (new info)
19. Battle of _____ ( new info)
20. Battle of _____. (new info)
EXT: PALACE GARDEN – DAY
21. Harald proposes to Elisev. She rejects him: “I’m a princess, you are not even a king. Look at my siblings. All of them well married into royalty. I can do no less. To do otherwise would shame myself and my family.” (new info)
EXT: KING EDWARD’S GARDENS – DAY
22. In 1034, Godwine, Earl of Wessex and father to Harold , who is now 14, walks with his son discussing matters regarding King Edward in the gardens, where no other ears can hear. (added info)
23. William is 6 yrs old, both he and his father (behind his back by children…to father’s face by adults) are mocked and tormented by legitimate children and adults. William must fight to even stay alive. He is knocked down, tripped, thrown rocks at etc.( added info)
NORMANDY – BANQUET HALL – NIGHT
24. In 1035 , Will sees his father die from poison at the dinner table. Uncle guards him.
INT: NORMANDY – CASTLE — DAY
25. In 1037 Will becomes Duke of Normandy – age 9.
EXT: PALACE GATE – MORNING
26. 1034 – Harald, age 19, and his men leave for Constantinople.
EXT: ARMY MARCHES INTO.
CONSTANTINOPLE27. In town, they are housed etc
INT: EMPEROR’S RECEPTION ROOM
28. Harold has audience with Emperor Michael IV at palace. He and his army become part of the Varingian Guards, who protect Emperor Michael IV of the Byzantine empire. Harald quickly becomes a captain. He leads them into battle many times and they all become rich. (new info, realligned)
EXT: MONTAGE OF BATTLES
29. Battle of_______ (new info)
30. Battle of________ (new info)
31. Battle of________ (new info)EXT: ENGLAND -KENT ESTATE – DAY
32. In 1034, Harold of England is 14. As the son of an Earl in service to the King, he learns to manage the earldom, work with his father on the estate, and the king’s business, play politics and diplomatics, form alliances, King Edward the Confessor business etc. new info?
EXT: WALES – BATTLE – DAY
33. In 10__ , battles the Welsh. He becomes wealthy and powerful, and known as a great warrior.
INT: KING HENRI 1ST’ CASTLE- NIGHT
34. William, in 1043, is still the only heir of his father. At 15, French King Henry 1 knights Will. He battles many of his neighbors and enemies and becomes known as a mighty, clever warrior.
INT: EMPEROR MICHAEL’S RECEIVING ROOM – NIGHT
35. Michal meets Harald and sends his friends, and army to fight against Michael IV’s enemies. Harald’s strategies, smarts, win many battles and they all get rich through the Byzantine practice of polutasvarf (loosely translated as “palace-plunder”),[53] a term which implies the pillaging of the palace exchequer on the death of the empeor (3times). “Aren’t we rich enough yet, Harry?” The men grouse about going home. Harold to finally agrees to go home. Plans to go to Jerusalem before going home. Everyone to be baptized before they all go home. (new info) (2 b cleaned for dlialogue).
EXT: CAMP – DUSK
36. On the way to Jerusalem two planted betrayers of Kálfr Árnason attempt to murder Harald. They mortally wound Harald’s friend Rognavald, Dalkr, some warriors, and are mortally wounded in return. “Who told you to kill us!? “Harald screams and then kneels by his close friend Rognavald who gives advice and instructions about his burial pyre. What to take home to his family and tells Harald to go home. Harald promises to go and take special care of Kálfr Árnason. (rearrange, new info)
EXT: CAMP CENTER WITH FIRE – NIGHT
37. He tortures one of the least dead. traitors. “Who betrayed us you filthy traitor!” He gasps… “King Canute…try again!” as Harold holds a knife against his throat. “Kálfr! Kálfr Árnason…” “You are a dead man. Clear your soul!” They kill the traitor and throw his carcasse outside the camp.
EXT: FUNERAL PYRE – NIGHT
38. They burn Rognavald and Dalkr in a Viking funeral pyre. As the fire burns, “When the fire is gone, gather some of their ashes. Then, let’s go to the Jordan River and release Rognavald and Dalkr into the river. Then we’ll all go home.” Harald clasps Thorasson’s shoulder. “Friend, as I promised.” ( new info, realligned)
EXT: THEY TRAVEL TO JERUSALEM – DAY
39. Driven by deep anger and hard cold revenge, Harald and his remaining friends and men, get baptized in the Jordan River. They cast Rognavald’s and Dalkr’s ashes into the river. (new info)
INT: CASTLE –
40. In 1043, French King Henry knights William at age 15 in ________.
EXT: INTO CONSTANTINOPLE – DAY
43. Return to Constantinople, where a suspicious new Emperor, Michael V, imprisons them and plans to kill them.
INT: DARK, DANK BUILDING – NIGHT
44. Arguments erupt, fear and anxiety among the troops. Escape by help of a slave girl secretly in love with Thorasson releases them and they escape, in1043. (nee info)
45. They all then go to Kievan Rus where Harald – now a very rich man and mighty warrior – proposes again to Elisiv who accepts.
INT: HAGIA SOPHIA -DAY
46. Huge pomp /huge wedding ceremony.
EXT: ROAD OUT OF CONSTANTINOPLE
Harold and troops begin their return to Norway to become King. Harald, Elisev, Thorasson, close warriors, and the army with followers, including the slave girl, march out of the castle gate, an impressive entourage.
END OF PART 1
(need to fill in blanks)
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Or someone not already engaged?
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I have posted Lesson 2 (b)- Elevate.
Looking for a partner for feed back. Henri…r u up for it?
Do Not know if this is correct place to post.
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I hope this is enough to get the block against continuing onto Lesson 2 and perhaps 3 lifted off my account.
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Thanks Karen. Here’s revised version…only did a little emotion. Will do more later. Still have 2nd change to do. How r u doing on your 2nd time around?
Trish’s Basic Structure Version 1
What I’ve learned from doing this assignment is that weaving three disparate yet similar lives together onto a whole narrative is dufficult. I get glimpses of deeper issues but now can’t look at more.
Genre: Historical Drama
Logline: The captivating and complex story of 11th Century royalty in 3 countries and the ongoing battles and betrayals that lead to the ultimate emergence of King William of England. (Most credit goes to Bob for this logline).
Main Conflict: 3 strong, mighty, powerful royal men born in early 1000’s A.D. must battle each other to become King of England in 1066.
a) Opening: King of Norway, Olaf Tyggerson, is to meet Kálfr Arnonson at a small Norwegian church at night to discuss Kalfr’s disgruntalment with King Olaf’s policies. It is dark and foggy. Olaf, suspicious when he catches a glimpse of a man on horse, and takes the meet with a few warriors inside. Kálfr Árnason tries to ambush Olaf but finds out his men, inside and out, are surrounded by Olaf. Olaf shows mercy but Kálfr Árnonson is angry and bitter. Olaf leaves.
• a) Harald, Olaf’s younger brother – born 1015 in Ringerick, Norway, is badly wounded & nearly killed at Sticklestad 1030, age 15.
b) Harold Godwinson, (born c. 1020— Parents: father is Godwine, Earl of.
Wessex and Kent, Mother, Gytha –
powerful noble Danish family related to.
Canute. 10 yrs old at time of Sticklestad.• c) William Born: September 1028 at Falaise, Normandy. Parents: Robert I, Duke of Normandy, and Arlette daughter of Fulbert (illegitimate son). He is 2 yrs old at Sticklestad.
•
• a) Inciting Incident: Kálfr Árnason sends emissaries to King Canute to be King of Norway. King Canute sends an army to the field of Sticklestad• The army challenges King Olaf and his men on the field at, north of Trondheim. Kálfr Árnason’s men join King Canute’s warriors, 40,000 warriors total, and go to battle King Olaf’s forces, 10,000 warriors. They know it’s hopeless but face it. Kalf mocks King Olaf-betrayal He is stabbed to death many times and many of his warriors are viciously killed. His young half- brother Harald, is badly wounded and near death. Some warriors rush to save Harald , to escape into the mountains on the border of Sweden to hide.
• By page 10, you know what the movie is about: Harald is near death but ww know if he lives he will want revenge and the kingship.
• First turning point at end of Act 1: Harald and his men hide in mountains to recuperate in a rustic cabin, avoiding discovery by Canute’s army while Harold heals and thinks “What now?” They plan to go to Rus, to Harald’s relatives in King Yaroslav’s castle for safety.
b) Harold of Wessex hears about the battle, as his father speaks with returning warriors, he is 10 yrs old.
c) William is a 2 yr old baby.• Mid-Point: When Harald and his men arrive in Rus at the castle, Yarislov puts him in charge of troops as captain, where he impresses Yarislov by winning some important battles, refining abilities and creativity.
16 year old Harald meets Elisev,
Yaroslav’s 14 years old daughter and
proposes. She rejects him: “I’m a.
princess, you are not even a king. Look
at my siblings, all well married into
royalty. I can do no less.”b) Harold of England – 1034, is 14 yrs old.
c) William is 6 yrs old, both he and his father (behind his back by children…(to father’s face by adults) mocked and tormented by legitimate children and adults. Knocked down, tripped, thrown rocks at etc.1035 – Will’s father dies. He sees his father die from poison at the dinner table. Uncle guards him.
1037- Will becomes Duke of Normandy – age 9. French King Henry zI knights him at age 15 – 1043.Second turning point at end of Act 2:
1034 – Harald age 19, goes to Constantinople with his men. They become part of the Varingian Guards who protect Emperor Michael IV of the Byzantine empire. Harald quickly becomes a captain. He leads them into battle many times and they all become rich.
b) Harold of England is 14. As the son of an Earl in service to the King, he must learn to manage the earldom, work with his father on the estate and the king’s business, play politics and diplomatics, form alliances.etc. Welsh, King Edward the Confessor. He becomes wealthy and powerful, and known as a great warrior.
c) William 1035 – At the age of 7, sees his father die of poison at the table. His uncle diligently protects Will as he is the only heir. At the age of 9, he becomes Duke. At 15, French King Henry 1 knights Will. He battles many of his neighbors and enemies and becomes known as a mighty, clever warrior.
Crisis: Harald and his friends are sent to fight against Michael IV’s enemies, where Harald’s strategies, smarts, friends, and men win many battles and get rich through the Byzantine practice of polutasvarf (loosely translated as “palace-plunder”),[53] a term which implies the pillaging of the palace exchequer on the death of the empeor (3times). “Aren’t we rich enough yet, Harry?” The men grouse about going home. Harold to finally agrees to go home. Plans to go to Jerusalem before going home. Everyone to be baptized before they all go home.
Climax: On the way to Jerusalem two planted betrayers of Kálfr Árnason attempt to murder Harald. They mortally wound Harald’s friend Rognavald, some warriors, and are mortally wounded in return. “Who told you to kill us!? “Harald screams and then kneels by his close friend Rognavald who gives advice and instructions about his burial pyre. What to take home to his family and tells Harald to go home. Harald promises to go and take special care of Kálfr Árnason. Then he grills one of the traitors. “Who betrayed us you filthy traitor!” He gasps…”Kálfr Árnason…” “Try again. You are a dead man already. Clear your soul!”
“Let’s go to the Jordan River and release Rognavald’ s and Dalkr’s bags of ashes into the river.” They kill the traitor and throw his carcas in the bushes. ” Then we’ll all go home, friend, as I promised.” Harald promises Thorasson they will do it for their friend. They burn Rognavald and Dalkr in a funeral pyre.Resolution: driven by deep anger and hard cold revenge, Harald and his remaining friends and men, baptized in the Jordan River in Jerusalem, cast Rognavald’s and Dalkr’s ashes, into the river. 1) Returning to Constantinople, where New Emperor Michael V imprisons them and plans to kill them. Escape is a slave girl secretly in love with Thorasson releases them and they escape, in1043. 2) They then go to Kievan Rus where Harald – now a very rich man and mighty warrior – proposes again to Elisiv who accepts. After pomp /ceremony, he begins his return to Norway to become King. Harald, Elisev, Thorasson, close warriors, and the army with followers, including the slave girl, march out of the castle gate, an impressive
On Sun, Mar 19, 2023, 7:16 AM Karen Brandin <karen.brandin@gmail.com> wrote:
Hi Trish,
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Lesson 1 Feedback
Logline: Former Olympian counselor takes a job to counsel an enclave of vets in a small town where her Granny lives. Klutsey as she is, she endears herself to vets and the new doctor in spite of her clumsiness as she finds love with Finn, acceptance by vets, and a new life.
.Story: this story has so much to offer: real relationships, insights, profound moments, fun, and a heartfelt moments with vets as part of centerpiece.
On Fri, Mar 17, 2023, 1:29 PM Trish Caro <trish94c183@gmail.com> wrote:
Sounds good, Karen! Let’s do it that way. I’m having a bit of trouble myself navigating this site…but is getting better. Hope 2 have L#2 1st draft done today although we have all weekend…I think.
On Fri, Mar 17, 2023, 11:11 AM Karen Brandin <karen.brandin@gmail.com> wrote:
Hi Trish,
I think that we can email each other with our comments, then post any revised documents to the forum, but that’s just what I’ve observed so far on the site. I’m not hard over on how we communicate. I’m finding the process for this class a little disconnected from Hal, but am still learning a lot from his emails/info.
Please let me know how you’d like to proceed and off we go.
Karen
On Fri, Mar 17, 2023 at 12:27 PM Trish Caro <trish94c183@gmail.com> wrote:
Karen…just saw your partner request and replied yes on Forum site. Do we respond w/fb here or on Forum site? I’m not sure how Hal will read fb for all if not on Firum. Do you know? What do you prefer?
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Trish,
Love, love, love it. I can see it unfolding and you’ve hit the 3 act plot points nicely. Kudos to Bob on the logline, it sings.
It’s all I can do to do the assignments the first time and read the comments on it from others as I’m in a historical series class with Anna Henry of Stage 32 right now also. So, I probably won’t post/send revisions, but know that I am paying attention to comments, and appreciate them.
Hope that you have a good start to the week.
Karen
Show quoted text
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Lovely. How do I get out of #1 and upload #2? Not sure i like this new format
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We Three Kings by Trish Carothers.
What I learned from this assignment is that it is necessary to choose a dramatic beginning, get focused on story evolution, important character’s trajectory, plot…avoid being locked into the dramas.
Genre: Historical Drama
Logline and Page One:
Three Main Players: Harald III Sigurdsson -B. 1000 A.D. of Norway, Harold II Godwineson -B. of England, and Duke William of Normandy.
Main Focus: From slightly before Harald III Sigurdsson HHadrad’s half-brother’s Olaf Tryggavason’s confrontation on a foggy night foiling a traitors trap, to his half-brother’s death in 1030 at the Battle of Sticklstad and his own near death by Olaf’s side at the age of 15, and subsequent flight to Kyiv Rus to distant relatives. The ways he survives, lives to fight and become captain of Yaroslav’s army, then goes to Constantinople to fight for Emperor Michael IV of Byzantium, becomes leader of Varsgian Guards, personal guards of M IV, then leads them in many battles from Mediterranean to Jerusalem before going back to Russia and marrying Princess Eliseff, daughter of King Yaroslav, then fighting his way back to Norway and then fighting to become/and stay king.
In the Meantime Harold II Godwineson is born about the same time as Harald III and eventually becomes a strong leader and fighter. His King, Edward the Confessir sends him to Duke William of Normandy to name him as Ed’s successor. Godwineson a virtual prisoner swears fealty to Will and fights battles with him before returning home. On King Ed’s deathbed in 1066, E says Harold II is his ssuccessor-betraying Duke William – and England’s mighty elect him king. He goes to Stamford Bridge in Northern England to fight against the combined invasion forces of Harald III and Godwineson’s betraying brother Tostig Godwinson and wins. Harald III is killed, Tostig flees, H Godwineson wins but must hurry to Southern England with weary troops and fighters going back home for harvest, goes to Hastings where Harold II must battle the very angry, newly arrived Duke William of Normandy. Godwinson dies – the last Anglo-Saxon king of England- and William becomes King of England after much fighting to London and beyond.
It’s possible I have bitten off more than I can chew…but here I go anyway!
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Patricia Carothers
Confidentiality Agreement
Hi everyone,
As we go forward with the class, we need everyone here to acknowledge their agreement to the Group Confidentiality form. The purpose here is to protect yourself, each other and to make this a safe environment where you’ll be able to work on the most marketable concept you have without worry.
The release form does all of those things and it also makes whatever we work on in this class confidential. Once everyone has acknowledged their agreement on the forums, we’ll have a safe environment where we can all focus on our writing, instead of worrying about protection.
This Group Confidentiality Agreement covers the entire class.
I highly recommend that you agree to this confidentiality agreement so you can participate in all the group feedback.
Remember, the more you interact with this group, the stronger your relationships will be after the class is concluded. Those relationships can translate into career success, so they are valuable to cultivate.
See you then,
Hal
Below is the release form. You have one of two choices here:
AGREE, in which case, you Reply to this topic and include three things at the top of the page:
1. Your name.
2. The words “I agree to the terms of this release form.”
3. Please leave the entire text below to confirm what you agree to.
OR
NOT AGREE, in which case, you hit “Reply to this topic” and type in the words “I’ll do the class privately.”
If you agree to the terms of the release form, then you can post your assignments into the group and your cohort can give feedback on them.
Also, if you don’t agree to this group confidentiality agreement, you’ll still need to sign an agreement that says you will keep the strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
0
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I already uploaded my answers to part 1, and relied and agreed to Confidentiality Agreement, though I’m still not seeing it as posted. Is there’s a problem…did I post it ok? Or is its posting delayed? I thought today was the 48 hour deadline…am I incorrect?
I apologize if these questions are a nuisance. Just say so.
Last concern at this time: I have purchased quite a few programs in the past. Where do I now access those finished/paid for programs that I purchased, for review now?
Thank you for your responces.
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As a member of this group, zI agree to all the terms of this class’ Confidential Agreement as listed on the SU class as listed.
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I agree to the terms of the confidential agreement
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What I hope to accomplish with this class is to finish the 1st draft with interesting characters in interesting situation and weave the three stories together in a way that serves the story…hope to electrify my script in so doing.
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Hello! This is an August company. My name is Patricia Carothers. I live in the beautiful state of Idaho.
I have several scripts in various stages and two books, and will be working specifically on this historical script through this process. I have taken several classes with Hal…wonderful classes.
Something unusual/unique might be my love of languages and voracious reading – especially in trees when young- throughout my life…and love for profound and comic movies.
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Not sure how to do the introduction and sign confidentiality agreement.
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We Three Kings by Trish Carothers.
What I learned from this assignment is that it is necessary to choose a dramatic beginning, get focused on story evolution, important character’s trajectory, plot…avoid being locked into the dramas.
Genre: Historical Drama
Logline and Page One:
Three Main Players: Harald III Sigurdsson -B. 1000 A.D. of Norway, Harold II Godwineson -B. of England, and Duke William of Normandy.
Main Focus: From slightly before Harald III Sigurdsson HHadrad’s half-brother’s Olaf Tryggavason’s confrontation on a foggy night foiling a traitors trap, to his half-brother’s death in 1030 at the Battle of Sticklstad and his own near death by Olaf’s side at the age of 15, and subsequent flight to Kyiv Rus to distant relatives. The ways he survives, lives to fight and become captain of Yaroslav’s army, then goes to Constantinople to fight for Emperor Michael IV of Byzantium, becomes leader of Varsgian Guards, personal guards of M IV, then leads them in many battles from Mediterranean to Jerusalem before going back to Russia and marrying Princess Eliseff, daughter of King Yaroslav, then fighting his way back to Norway and then fighting to become/and stay king.
In the Meantime Harold II Godwineson is born about the same time as Harald III and eventually becomes a strong leader and fighter. His King, Edward the Confessir sends him to Duke William of Normandy to name him as Ed’s successor. Godwineson a virtual prisoner swears fealty to Will and fights battles with him before returning home. On King Ed’s deathbed in 1066, E says Harold II is his ssuccessor-betraying Duke William – and England’s mighty elect him king. He goes to Stamford Bridge in Northern England to fight against the combined invasion forces of Harald III and Godwineson’s betraying brother Tostig Godwinson and wins. Harald III is killed, Tostig flees, H Godwineson wins but must hurry to Southern England with weary troops and fighters going back home for harvest, goes to Hastings where Harold II must battle the very angry, newly arrived Duke William of Normandy. Godwinson dies – the last Anglo-Saxon king of England- and William becomes King of England after much fighting to London and beyond.
It’s possible I have bitten off more than I can chew…but here I go anyway!
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HERE is what I sent to Customer Servicer on your behalf. Hope it makes a difference. Hey guys… Paul McGregor in our current CHARACTERS class cannot access the class materials to finish the class on time with us. He says that he has contacted you about this class several times. I am contacting you because I had this same problem earlier, when the instructors went on vacation?? Anyway, Paul’s classes need to be reinstated for the current class period, which is now. Please see to this problem, not only for Paul, but also for the rest of us who value Paul’s comments and insights. Thanking you now cause I know how awesome you have all been.Paul, just now sent a message to C.Service on your behalf. Hope it makes a difference
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Hi Paul…sorry to hear about your continued difficulties. I will contact Customer Service on your behalf right now. How you see some difference ASAP.
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Sandeep…Cypher = what a name and doesn’t he live down to it. He slipped thru the cracks…doesnt that happen? He’s the flawed dirty dog deceiver whose vision never gets past his smallness, never part of the group and their vision or purpose. That’s life. Maybe Cypher’s experience into awakening produced the creature he’s become…he can’t go back into his oblivious pod.
Why should or how could Trinity suspect the evil among them posing as their compatriot and friend? Surely you have experienced such a betrayal in Your life? Have you experienced a breakthrough so profound that it hanged your life and you could never and would never go bake to your pre-birth? It’s possible.
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Thanks Sandeep. I don’t yet know enough to know what to do. So back I go. Maybe by the time class is over I’ll be up to scratch!
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Hey Sandeep…did u try to go to my twit account from Utah?
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Hi Paul. I’m curious about your statement of meaning without words. I agree. How is this “action” expressed in the script?
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The whole movie is awesome
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Hi Karen. My Gmail keeps saying that the WordPress server is not accepting my replies. I’m on Twitter now. If you are maybe we can connect. Here’s my Twit: CaroTrish49026. If this doesn’t work, perhaps you have a different email address and I promise not to abuse it. Let me know what you decide. I believe you have my Gmail address.
Thanks for your efforts and patience.
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Sandeep, My Gmail is not responding to WordPress, so I cannot reply. I thought that is why I set up Twitter but there are many others with your name. Is there a better identufier so I can get this to you for feedback? Plse reply to my Twitter at
CaroTrish49026 and we’ll see if this works. Thanks
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Hi Karen. I’m getting your WordPress but my reply to you from my Gmail is claiming that your server is not accepting my replies? I don’t know enough about this stuff to fix it so I can send you my scene. If u know what 2 do let me know
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Hi Sandeep. I’m on Twitter now but there r about 30 Sandeep Gupta on their. Can we thin the herd?
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Sorry Sandeep…is Word the same as Word Perfect? Anyway, someone showed me how 2 do a pdf so that’s done. Just need to do Twitter for class duration. I am with Leona as to email preferences. However…I do respect privacy issues.
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Just learning how this system works. What kind of horses do you like best? I am just finishing the Rewrite class, which is excellent. Please let me know how you like your other class. I may take the Professional class but not right away. I have a very nice gray rescue cat…not a kitty anymore1
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Meant to ask if you have your artwork on the web somewhere.
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Hi Ginny…this should be an awesome class. Just finishing Rewrite class which is pretty awesome. Still finding my way around this computer setup!
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Hey Doug; fleshing out is looking good. I found the “diamond” necklace story a bit confusing…did Flora know the diamonds are real when she used them in the picture Conner saw? Did she substitute fake for real knowingly…if so, how does this play with her memory problems? What did zi miss in the story? If so – how would it be if Gerty – the sharp one – managed it – to get back at Conner? Just wondering.
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Hi Karen. Thank you for reaching out. I would like to partner up. I believe Hal said we can work with several feedbackers (lol). Are you wanting feedback now on 1 and 2 of this story? Let me know.
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Thank you Henry. I would like to partner with you. I’m working on Assign 2 right now. Shall we connect on 1 also? Or r u onto 2 for feedback? Let me know.
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Hi Bob. My eyes r crossing…it’s getting so late. Your log line and 1 page could be tightened up a bit.
Log Line: Would changing Title to ” With All Her Might” keep the focus more on her story rather than the “…their…” story? Or perhaps a title that doesn’t fit that mold…like “Chariots of Fire”?
Might you, in the page 1 section, perhaps say…she chooses …to return…
Somehow make the brief telling of the story more gripping…perhaps with action verbs to grab a producers attention. Hope this is helpful to you Bob.
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I thought I had uploaded the pertinent info. Thanks for your efforts.
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Hello Patricia Brown. Am wondering if you would like to partner up this round to see if we fit. I have taken several of Hal’s classes and appreciate his ideas and provisions greatly.
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This sounds like sci- fi too…1 of my favorites! Looking forward o your develment…
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Sounds pretty funny! Hope 2 c the development
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Sounds fun, Douglas…do you prefer Doug?