[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski Structure Solutions!

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

I removed several scenes that weren’t necessary and combined others to tighten the scenes. I added a dream to show why Eppsa is overprotective of her son, Hayden.

What I learned from doing this assignment is most of the script matched my pitch. I just needed to change a couple of turning points to make them stronger.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski Has Finished Act 4!

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is it feels good to finish. YEAH! It was a process, but using the skills we are being taught, simplified writing and completing my script. I’m excited to use the next modules to improve my script until it is marketable.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski Continues Act 4

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is when you have an outline, it’s easier to follow through. I caught a couple of plot holes I created when I changed parts of my scenes while I was writing.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski Started Act 4

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is even though I was traveling for a few weeks and didn’t have the ability to write, I went back to using the methods we’ve learned so far to catch up as quick as I can. I will make it happen!

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Finishing Act 3

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is even though I am a few assignments behind, I will not stop the momentum. When I realized I was looking things up and began rewording some dialogue I didn’t like, I stopped myself and moved forward.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Continuing Act 3

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is I can do this! It’s getting easier every day.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski Began Act 3

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is writing faster without being perfect is getting easier. I have encountered scenes where I don’t know what a psychic would say or what a preacher says at a gravesite. I give myself 15 minutes to research to find something, but it doesn’t have to be perfect. Then, I go back to writing.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Completed Act 2

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is the script is moving along much better than I anticipated. I thoroughly enjoy taking the time to write every day, but for the next three weeks, there will be times I will be traveling all day and not able to write.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Continuing Act 2

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is that I have been writing fairly quickly for me. I am glad I have the details in my outline, so I don’t get bogged down. That is generally when I start wordsmithing.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Began Act 2

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is the process is really helping me push through when I want to stop to do research. I realized I forgot to post this assignment when I went to post Assignment 7.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Finished Act 1

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is I am enjoying this process. I’m glad I have my outline to keep me focused. There are times that I think of different things to add or adjust. I try to do those things quickly before I forget and get back to writing.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Next Act 1 Scenes

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is I enjoy speed writing. I still find myself wanting to perfect my writing, but I make it a point to stop it. I did go back when I decided out how to kill off a character without making it look like the guy who was with him murdered him.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Act 1 First Draft Part 1

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is I have some dialogue that I’m not sure how to word, so I had to look into what happens in a séance and what a clairvoyant would say. That slowed me down, but I am going to keep going through the process aiming for speed, not perfection. I love the process, but it’s hard for me to not do research to get an idea of what type of dialogue to use when I don’t have a clue for the scenario.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s High Speed Writing Rules

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is it’s possible to write faster because I have an outline to follow. My concern is when I get to the dialogue where I don’t know what happens when someone attends a séance.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s First Scene

What I learned from doing this assignment is having an outline to follow makes it easier to write the dialogue in the script.

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

How this Process Worked for Me: I like working from a completed outline because it easier to fill in dialogue since I don’t have to worry if the scene is going to work. I know my story flows and there aren’t any plot holes. I am aware of two weak areas that I can figure out as I go along.

[Veronica Turowski]

Hi! I’m ready to exchange for feedback. Please let me know if anyone is interested.

Thanks!

Veronica

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Scene Requirements

What I learned from doing this assignment is I needed to clarify some things and had to get into detail to flush out the issues.

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

Concept: After a ghost tells a professional mourner during his funeral that a serial killer murdered him, she tries to prove him wrong so he can pass over, only to discover that she is a ghost and is the serial killer’s mother.

Title: Grave Justice

Genre: Supernatural Thriller

ACT 1:

1. INT. CHURCH BAPTISMAL – NIGHT

Lonnie checks the chemicals in the church baptismal. The lights go out. A dark figure attacks him. He breaks his neck and drowns. It looks like an accident.

Essence: Lonnie is killed for an unknown reason.

Conflict: Lonnie is attacked by a dark figure.

Subtext: Lonnie knows something and was attacked for it.

Hope/Fear: We hope Lonnie escapes. We fear he gets killed.

Scene Arc: Lonnie gets baptismal ready. Lonnie is killed.

2. EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Eppsa attends a funeral. Lonnie motions her over to tell her he can’t pass over until the serial killer who murdered him is caught. She thinks he’s on drugs and runs off. Lonnie chases her and vanishes as he is hit by Hayden’s ice cream truck.

Essence: Eppsa talks to a ghost, Lonnie.

Conflict: Eppsa thinks Lonnie is a druggie.

Subtext: Eppsa is afraid he is either a ghost or a killer.

Hope/Fear: We hope he’s telling her the truth. We fear she will be a victim.

Scene Arc: Eppsa talks to Lonnie, not knowing he’s a ghost. She runs in fear.

3. INT/EXT. ICE CREAM TRUCK – SAME

Hayden and his son, Evren (14), drive past the cemetery with loud music playing. Eppsa screams for them to stop as Lonnie is hit and disappears.

Essence: Hayden and Evren are oblivious to Lonnie and Eppsa.

Conflict: Eppsa wants the truck to stop.

Subtext: Eppsa fears for Lonnie just in case he’s not a ghost.

Hope/Fear: We hope Lonnie is okay. We fear he’s going to get hit.

Scene Arc: Hayden and Evren drive to another location. They hit a ghost, Lonnie, but are unaware.

4. EXT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY

Eppsa talks to her neighbor for advice. Something ominous happens to them.

Essence: Eppsa doesn’t know who to talk to regarding Lonnie.

Conflict: Eppsa struggles with believing in ghosts.

Subtext: Eppsa wonders if she’s going crazy.

Hope/Fear: We hope she gets answers. We fear she’s going to be haunted.

Scene Arc: Eppsa is embarrassed about seeing a ghost. She talks to a clairvoyant, Clover, for answers.

Inciting Incident:

5. INT. CLOVER’S STORE – DAY

Eppsa talks to the psychic, Clover. She wants to know if Clover can help her find Hayden. When Clover tries to contact her deceased husband, an evil spirit enters the room. Clover warns Eppsa to be careful. The spirit attacks. They flee.

Essence: Eppsa wants to find her son.

Conflict: Clover can’t help her.

Subtext: Eppsa is a ghost who is looking for answers.

Hope/Fear: We hope Clover can help Eppsa. We fear she won’t find Hayden.

Scene Arc: Eppsa asks Clover for help. An evil spirit attacks them.

6. EXT. TAVISH’S HOUSE – DAY

Hayden tries to save Tavish. Evren calls 911.

Essence: Hayden tries to save Tavish.

Conflict: Hayden tries to save Tavish, but he dies doing a TikTok challenge.

Subtext: Hayden isn’t trying to help Tavish.

Hope/Fear: We hope Tavish lives. We fear he will die.

Scene Arc: Hayden tries to save Tavish. Tavish dies.

7. EXT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – BEDROOM – DAY

Eppsa irons her mourning outfit. Something ominous/ghostly happens.

Essence: Eppsa is given the name of the next victim.

Conflict: Eppsa doesn’t believe Lonnie.

Subtext: Eppsa is afraid and in disbelief.

Hope/Fear: We hope he is telling her the truth. We fear he’s lying.

Scene Arc: Eppsa is relaxed and ironing. Lonnie haunts her.

TURNING POINT 1:

8. EXT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY

Eppsa tells her neighbor about Lonnie’s visit. She sees Tavish in the news.

Essence: Eppsa realizes Lonnie gave her the correct name.

Conflict: Eppsa can’t believe he knew the victim’s name.

Subtext: Eppsa is curious about what Lonnie knows.

Hope/Fear: We hope her neighbor calms her down. We fear Lonnie is right.

Scene Arc: Eppsa laughs off Lonnie’s visit with her neighbor. She discovers the murder is actual.

ACT 2:

9. EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Eppsa attends Tavish’s funeral and talks to Lonnie. She tells him to go. He says the next victim is Ramone.

Essence: Eppsa wants to be left alone, but Lonnie is determined.

Conflict: Eppsa doesn’t want to help Lonnie.

Subtext: Eppsa thinks Lonnie is a lost or confused soul.

Hope/Fear: We hope Lonnie is wrong. We fear Ramone will be next.

Scene Arc: Eppsa wants Lonnie to pass over. Lonnie gives her another name.

10. INT. HAYDEN’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

Hayden cleans something and gets a call from the police to remind him of his award in the morning. Something creepy happens. He dismisses it because it’s an old house or blames Evren.

Essence: Hayden gets an award for trying to save Tavish.

Conflict:

Subtext: Hayden knows they are being killed and not because of TikTok challenges.

Hope/Fear: We hope it’s not the evil spirit. We fear it is the evil spirit.

Scene Arc: Hayden is cleaning something at home. Something creepy happens.

11. EXT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY

Eppsa reads Ramone’s name in the obituary. She calls the police. It’s staticky. They tell her to come in. There’s a shadow. She thinks it’s Lonnie. She goes to the cops.

Essence: Eppsa fears Lonnie is right and knows she must talk to the cops.

Conflict: Eppsa’s phone doesn’t work, so she has to go to the station.

Subtext: Eppsa is worried about more victims.

Hope/Fear: We hope the cops will help her. We fear there are more victims.

Scene Arc: Eppsa is shocked Lonnie knew the name. She goes to the cops.

12. INT. POLICE STATION – FRONT DESK – DAY

Eppsa is at the police station. The cop tells her to wait on a bench. A cop in the bullpen motions her over. She passes by Hayden, who is in a chair. He shivers.

Essence: Eppsa waits to talk to the cops.

Conflict: Eppsa can’t actually talk to people.

Subtext: Eppsa wants to help find the killer.

Hope/Fear: We hope the cops help her. We fear they will think she’s involved.

Scene Arc: Eppsa waits to talk. She goes to the bullpen to talk to a cop.

13. INT. POLICE STATION – BULLPEN – DAY

Hayden is at the police station receiving an award. Hayden shivers when Eppsa’s spirit passes him. He asks them to warn people about the trying TikTok challenges.

Essence: Hayden gets an award for trying to save Tavish.

Conflict: Hayden must keep hiding that he is a serial killer.

Subtext: Hayden is the killer.

Hope/Fear: We hope people won’t do the challenges. We fear more people will die.

Scene Arc: Hayden gets an award. He leaves, not knowing Eppsa wants to talk.

14. INT. POLICE STATION – BULLPEN – DAY

From across the room, Eppsa hears a cop yell to Hayden for his good work. She rushes after Hayden, who is walking out.

Essence: Eppsa is anxious to talk to the cops.

Conflict: Eppsa wants to tell the cops there’s a serial killer, but she wants to talk to Hayden even more.

Subtext: Eppsa is anxious about everything.

Hope/Fear: We hope the cops help her. We fear they will think she’s involved.

Scene Arc: Eppsa walks over to the cop to talk to him. She runs after Hayden.

15. EXT. POLICE STATION – DAY

Lonnie, outside the police station, watches Eppsa run after Hayden’s truck. Eppsa overhears cops say the latest deaths were due to dangerous TikTok challenges.

Lonnie tells her there’s going to be another victim.

Essence: Lonnie needs Eppsa’s help, but she no longer believes him.

Conflict: Lonnie is desperate for her help. Eppsa wants him to go away.

Subtext: Eppsa doesn’t care about anything except finding Hayden.

Hope/Fear: We hope Eppsa talks to Hayden. We fear there will be another victim.

Scene Arc: Eppsa tries to talk to Hayden. She no longer believes Lonnie.

16. INT. HOMELESS SHELTER – DAY

Hayden volunteers at a homeless shelter. He talks to his old friend, Kenji.

Essence: Hayden is friendly to Kenji.

Conflict: Hayden is secretly mad at Kenji about the past.

Subtext: Hayden seems cordial but can’t wait to take revenge.

Hope/Fear: We hope they will get together.

Scene Arc: Hayden volunteers. Hayden plans to get together with Kenji.

17. EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

At Ramone’s funeral, Eppsa ignores Lonnie. He summons Ramone’s young daughter, Ynez, and gives her the name, Kizzy Mycroft, to tell Eppsa to get Kizzy’s info from the church office.

Essence: Eppsa ignores Lonnie, but he’s eager to tell her the next victim’s name.

Conflict: Eppsa ignores Lonnie because she doesn’t think there’s a serial killer.

Subtext: Eppsa wants Lonnie to go away while Lonnie is anxious and desperate.

Hope/Fear: We hope Eppsa heeds his warning. We fear there will be another death.

Scene Arc: Lonnie hopes Eppsa will listen to him. Eppsa goes to find the address.

18. INT. CHURCH – OFFICE – DAY

Eppsa looks for the address. Pastor Palmer McKee catches her. She apologizes.

Essence: Eppsa looks up the address of Kizzy to check on her.

Conflict: Eppsa isn’t supposed to be in there and gets caught.

Subtext: Eppsa hopes Lonnie is right.

Hope/Fear: We hope Eppsa gets the address. We fear she will be too late.

Scene Arc: Eppsa looks up the address. She’s caught and runs off.

19. INT/EXT. ICE CREAM TRUCK – DAY

Hayden and Evren are in a ritzy neighborhood. He talks to Kizzy’s husband, Thane.

Essence: Hayden is in Kizzy’s neighborhood.

Conflict:

Subtext: Hayden is concealing he killed Kizzy.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: They sell ice cream. Hayden happily talks to Thane.

20. EXT. CHURCH – DAY

Lonnie stops Eppsa as she runs out. She got the address.

Essence: Lonnie is hopeful Eppsa can help Kizzy.

Conflict: Eppsa doubts Lonnie.

Subtext: Eppsa is hopeful. Lonnie is worried she’ll be too late.

Hope/Fear: We hope Eppsa warns Kizzy. We fear Kizzy will die.

Scene Arc: Eppsa’s happy she got the address. Lonnie’s worried she’ll be too late.

21. INT/EXT. KIZZY’S HOUSE – DAY

Eppsa knocks on the front door. No answer. She goes around back. Kizzy is floating in her pool or hot tub. Thane exits the house to find Kizzy dead. Eppsa runs.

Essence: Eppsa gets the courage to talk to Kizzy, but she’s too late.

Conflict: Eppsa is afraid she’s going to get caught.

Subtext: Eppsa is afraid to talk to Kizzy.

Hope/Fear: We hope Kizzy is okay. We fear she’s dead.

Scene Arc: Eppsa tries to warn Kizzy. She’s too late.

22. EXT. HAYDEN’S HOUSE – BACKYARD – DAY

Hayden has a BBQ. A neighbor’s new boyfriend is Finnick Ziccardi. They were friends in high school.

Essence: Hayden finds an old high school friend.

Conflict: Hayden wants to get revenge on Finnick Ziccardi.

Subtext: Hayden carries a grudge and wants revenge.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: Hayden has a BBQ. He discovers Finnick has moved back to town.

TURNING POINT 2 / MIDPOINT:

23. INT. CLOVER’S STORE – DAY

Eppsa wants help. Clover senses an evil spirit. Lonnie appears. He predicts Kenji’s death. Things fly. Eppsa tells Clover she’s haunted by Lonnie’s evil spirit. Clover’s face is scratched.

Essence: Eppsa needs Clover’s help finding the serial killer, but an evil spirit hurts Clover.

Conflict: Eppsa is afraid of Lonnie.

Subtext: Eppsa thinks Lonnie is an evil spirit who is haunting her.

Hope/Fear: We hope Clover helps Eppsa. We fear the evil spirit will hurt Eppsa.

Scene Arc: Eppsa wants Clover to help her. They flee for their lives.

24. INT. SOUP KITCHEN – DAY

Hayden and Evren serve ice cream. Quince Ryan, who is in charge, praises them. Hayden gives them a $5000 donation. He can’t believe ice cream is so lucrative.

Essence: Hayden supports the soup kitchen. Quince is enamored with Hayden.

Conflict:

Subtext: Hayden is looking for Kenji to determine the best time and way to kill him.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: Hayden and Evren serve ice cream. Quince is thankful for their help and the donation.

25. INT/EXT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – DAY

Eppsa hears a crash outside. Her neighbor is at the door, shaking. She pulls her in. Eppsa sees the ghost of a young woman walk away from the accident. She freaks. An evil spirit is inside. The neighbor flees. Eppsa hides. A crash upstairs. In Hayden’s room, a family picture is on the floor. An amulet hangs on the nail. She thinks the amulet protects Hayden, so she won’t touch it.

Essence: Eppsa’s neighbor came for a visit, but an accident changed everything.

Conflict: Eppsa saw another ghost.

Subtext: Eppsa is afraid of the ghosts she’s seeing.

Hope/Fear: We hope they are okay. We fear the evil spirit will hurt them.

Scene Arc: Eppsa’s neighbor visits. Eppsa finds Hayden’s amulet of protection.

26. INT/EXT. ICE CREAM TRUCK – NIGHT

Hayden follows a man in a hoodie. A police car pulls up with its lights. The man runs. Hayden calls out to Finnick. They all laugh about the mix-up. Hayden gives Finnick a ride home.

Essence: Hayden is stalking Finnick.

Conflict: Hayden stalks Finnick, although Finnick doesn’t know it.

Subtext: Hayden was going to kill Finnick.

Hope/Fear: We hope the killer is stopped. We fear the killer is still at large.

Scene Arc: Hayden stalks Finnick. Hayden tells a story of why he’s following Finnick.

ACT 3:

27. INT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – BEDROOM – DAY

Eppsa has a nightmare about her husband killing Hayden and himself. She tells her neighbor. She thinks it’s a premonition of Hayden dying.

Essence: Eppsa has a nightmare.

Conflict: She struggles with her dream and what really happened.

Subtext: Eppsa was killed by her husband but doesn’t want to remember.

Hope/Fear: We hope Eppsa’s dream doesn’t come true. We fear Hayden will die.

Scene Arc: She has a nightmare. She wakes up and tells her neighbor.

28. EXT. SOUP KITCHEN – DAY

As Hayden goes to his ice cream truck, he is robbed and taken to the hospital.

Essence: Hayden gets robbed.

Conflict: Hayden is attacked by a volunteer.

Subtext: Hayden has an enemy.

Hope/Fear: We hope Hayden is okay. We fear Hayden will be another victim.

Scene Arc: Hayden is at his truck. Hayden goes to the hospital.

29. INT. CLOVER’S STORE – NIGHT

Eppsa asks Clover to get rid of Lonnie. Lonnie materializes. There’s havoc. Clover says Lonnie isn’t evil, but the spirit wants something from Eppsa.

Essence: Eppsa is fearful of Lonnie because he’s evil. Clover says Lonnie isn’t evil.

Conflict: The evil entity attacks them.

Subtext: The evil spirit tries to get Eppsa to cross over to Hell.

Hope/Fear: We hope the evil spirit goes away. We fear the evil spirit will hurt them.

Scene Arc: Eppsa wants to get rid of Lonnie. Eppsa wants to get rid of the evil spirit.

30. INT/EXT. BAR – NIGHT

Hayden is at a bar with Kenji. They go to the park across the way. Hayden tells Kenji that when Evren returns to school, he can help him sell ice cream.

Essence: Hayden wants to help Kenji get back on his feet.

Conflict: Hayden is mad that Kenji turned his back on him after they joined the cult.

Subtext: Hayden is going to kill Kenji for betraying him in high school.

Hope/Fear: We hope Hayden helps Kenji. We fear the killer will kill one of them.

Scene Arc: Hayden and Kenji reminisce. Kenji warns Hayden to be careful.

31. EXT. GAS STATION – NIGHT

Eppsa sees Hayden and Kenji drinking beer. Hayden, drunk, tosses his keys inside his truck. They sit at a bus stop.

Hayden sees Eppsa. He yells at her thinking she’s a real woman who resembles his mom. Kenji witnessed her ineptness in high school. He passes out on the bench. Eppsa cries and runs away.

Essence: Hayden is drunk and yells at Eppsa, not knowing he’s yelling at her ghostly apparition.

Conflict: Hayden confronts Eppsa’s ghostly spirit.

Subtext: Hayden is angry with Eppsa that she wasn’t a good wife.

Hope/Fear: We hope Hayden forgives Eppsa. We fear he’s too angry to ever talk to her again.

Scene Arc: Hayden is happily drunk with Kenji. Hayden yells at Eppsa and passes out.

32. INT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – DAY

Eppsa reads the newspaper. She recognizes Kenji, who was killed last night in a hit-and-run. In Hayden’s yearbook, she finds Kenji’s picture. Eppsa notices a picture of a girl with a heart around her. An evil spirit moves about. A door slams shut. She thinks it’s Lonnie. She yells out to him.

Lonnie manifests, scaring her. He sees the amulet. Eppsa explains it still protects Hayden.

Essence: Eppsa is sad for Kenji but glad Hayden is okay because of the amulet.

Conflict: Eppsa can’t find a way to protect Hayden.

Subtext: Eppsa is fearful for Hayden’s life.

Hope/Fear: We hope Hayden will be okay. We fear Hayden will become a victim.

Scene Arc: Eppsa is sad about Kenji. Now, she’s more desperate to save Hayden.

33. EXT. SOUP KITCHEN – DAY

Hayden exits and sees blood on Quince’s bumper. He sees Ramone’s ??? in the back seat. He calls the police. Quince is arrested.

Essence: Hayden discovers Quince killed Kenji and possibly Ramone.

Conflict: Quince denies everything but doesn’t have an alibi.

Subtext: Hayden framed Quince.

Hope/Fear: We hope Quince is the killer. We fear it’s not him.

Scene Arc: Hayden thinks Quince killed Kenji and Ramone. Quince is arrested.

34. EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Eppsa attends Kizzy’s funeral. She realizes Kizzy was the girl with a heart around her picture. Eppsa apologizes to Lonnie and wants to help.

Essence: Eppsa discovers it’s Hayden’s high school friends who are dying.

Conflict: She has inner turmoil.

Subtext: Someone is killing Hayden’s friends from high school.

Hope/Fear: We hope Eppsa can stop the killer. We fear Hayden is on the list.

Scene Arc: Eppsa attends a funeral. She wants to help Lonnie.

35. INT. POLICE STATION – DAY

Hayden receives a key to the town for helping find Kenji’s killer. Quince confessed he robbed Hayden. The cops also found pictures of Hayden and Ramone buried with bones in his backyard.

Essence: Hayden gets recognition for his good deeds.

Conflict:

Subtext: Hayden framed Quince.

Hope/Fear: We hope Quince is the killer. We fear it’s not him.

Scene Arc: Hayden is recognized as a pillar of the community. He gets the key to the city.

36. INT. CLOVER’S STORE – DAY

Eppsa wants Clover to summon her husband since he was close to Hayden. A crystal ball explodes.

Essence: Eppsa wants answers and to find Hayden.

Conflict: The evil spirit tries to stop Clover.

Subtext: The evil spirit tries to keep Clover from giving Eppsa answers.

Hope/Fear: We hope Clover can find Hayden. We fear the evil spirit will hurt them.

Scene Arc: Eppsa wants answers. An evil spirit stops the séance.

37. INT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – DAY

Lonnie snoops through Eppsa’s house. She catches him. He disappears.

Essence: Lonnie is looking for something.

Conflict: Eppsa catches him sneaking around her house.

Subtext: Lonnie wants to help Eppsa pass over.

Hope/Fear: We hope Lonnie is good. We fear he might be the evil spirit after all.

Scene Arc: Lonnie is looking for something. Eppsa catches him.

38. INT/EXT. ICE CREAM TRUCK – DAY

Hayden kills Sigrid in the back of his ice cream truck while Evren is upfront. Hayden tells Evren he was protecting himself. They can’t tell anyone. Maybe Quince didn’t act alone.

Essence: Hayden kills Sigrid and has Evren help him cover it up.

Conflict: Sigrid attacks Hayden and Hayden kills her.

Subtext: Hayden kills Sigrid because she was onto Hayden.

Hope/Fear: We hope Quince was the only killer. We fear someone else is the killer.

Scene Arc: Hayden kills Sigrid. He tells Evren he doesn’t want to die like his friends.

39. INT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – BEDROOM – DAY

Eppsa searches her closet. She finds a Satanic book hidden behind her husband’s clothes.

Essence: Eppsa wants to know what Lonnie was looking for.

Conflict: She is upset to find a Satanic book in her dead husband’s clothes.

Subtext: Eppsa wonders about her husband.

Hope/Fear: We hope her husband wasn’t Satanic. We fear he has something to do with the murders.

Scene Arc: Eppsa wants answers. Eppsa finds her husband’s Satanic book.

TURNING POINT 3:

40. INTEXT. CHURCH – NIGHT

After Eppsa prays, she sees a woman crying. Her grandson, Marvin, killed himself after joining the Satanic cult 20 years ago. She’s still grieving. The woman takes her to Marvin’s gravesite.

Essence: Eppsa feels sorry for the woman.

Conflict: Eppsa struggles with the thought of Hayden being in a cult.

Subtext: Eppsa is sad for the woman.

Hope/Fear: We hope Hayden didn’t join the cult. We fear he did.

Scene Arc: Eppsa wants peace. Eppsa discovers the cult has been going on for a long time.

41. INT. HAYDEN’S HOUSE – NIGHT

Hayden faces an evil spirit. It does something that reminds him of his dad. He wonders if something has disturbed his dad’s spirit. Possibly: The spirit tries to make him do something evil, but Hayden resists…??? He doesn’t want to be like his dad???

Essence: Hayden encounters the evil spirit.

Conflict: He doesn’t know the spirit is trying to tell him something.

Subtext: Hayden thinks the spirit is his dad.

Hope/Fear: We hope the spirit won’t hurt him. We fear it will.

Scene Arc: Hayden is enjoying his night with Neta. An evil spirit haunts him.

42. INT. CLOVER’S STORE – DAY

Lonnie finally talks to Clover. He’s worried about Eppsa. Should he stop Eppsa talking to Eppsa? He says Finnick is next. Clover says he needs to find Hayden, and he’ll help Eppsa find him when the time is right.

Essence: Lonnie thinks he’s making Eppsa’s existence difficult.

Conflict: Lonnie has inner conflict.

Subtext: Clover knows that Lonnie will help find the killer.

Hope/Fear: We hope Lonnie can help Eppsa find Hayden. We fear he won’t.

Scene Arc: Lonnie wants Eppsa to find peace. He is sad that Clover can’t help him.

43. INT/EXT. CHURCH – DAY

Eppsa attends Kenji’s funeral. No one else is there. She thanks Pastor McKee for a great service. Lonnie appears to say he’ll leave her alone. They walk outside so Eppsa can put flowers on Kenji’s plot.

Essence: While Eppsa attends a funeral, Lonnie tells her he won’t bother her anymore.

Conflict: Eppsa has an internal conflict about Lonnie leaving.

Subtext: Eppsa is relieved Lonnie won’t be around anymore.

Hope/Fear: We hope Lonnie doesn’t disappear forever. We fear Eppsa won’t get closure.

Scene Arc: Eppsa attends a funeral. Lonnie says he’s leaving her alone.

44. EXT. ICE CREAM TRUCK – DAY

Hayden and Evren sell ice cream in a park across the street from the cemetery. Hayden sees the cemetery at Kenji’s cemetery plot. Evren wonders why he didn’t go. They finish with a customer and drive away.

Essence: Hayden didn’t want to attend Kenji’s funeral because funerals remind him of his parent’s death.

Conflict: Hayden’s conflict is internal regarding his parents’ death.

Subtext: Hayden resents his dad killing himself but doesn’t care about his mom.

Hope/Fear: We hope he will get over the death of his parents. We fear he won’t.

Scene Arc: Eppsa attends a funeral. She’s sad no one else is there.

45. EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

As Eppsa and Lonnie walk, she sees Hayden’s ice cream truck pull out of the park. Lonnie remembers Hayden from church. He tells her to check the registry for his contact info. She runs to the church.

Essence: Lonnie recalls Hayden from church and believes his info is in the registry.

Conflict: Hayden drives away, and Eppsa doesn’t talk to him.

Subtext: Eppsa is excited she might finally be able to contact Hayden.

Hope/Fear: We hope Hayden’s info is registered. We fear it won’t.

Scene Arc: Eppsa sees Hayden. Lonnie remembers him from church. She rushes to get his phone number.

46. EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Lonnie remembers Hayden attended the church. Eppsa goes back to the church.

Essence: Lonnie remembers that Hayden belonged to the church.

Conflict:

Subtext: Eppsa is hopeful.

Hope/Fear: We hope Hayden’s info is there. We fear it’s not.

Scene Arc: Lonnie remembers Hayden went to the church. Eppsa rushes inside.

47. EXT. PARK or BUILDING – NIGHT

Hayden, Neta, and Evren are celebrating on the eve of Evren’s 15^th birthday. Hayden, Finnick, and some other men escort Evren into the woods. Evren comes out with an amulet. He shows it to Neta.

Essence: Hayden and Neta celebrate Evren’s birthday. He gets an amulet.

Conflict:

Subtext: Hayden has Evren join the Satanic cult.

Hope/Fear: We hope the amulet protects Evren. We fear the woods.

Scene Arc: There’s a celebration. Evren gets an amulet.

48. INT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – NIGHT

Eppsa tells her neighbor she’s worried about calling Hayden. Her neighbor makes Eppsa call/text him.

Essence: Eppsa needs encouragement from her neighbor.

Conflict: Eppsa doesn’t know how Hayden will react.

Subtext: Eppsa fears talking to Hayden.

Hope/Fear: We hope she calls. We fear he won’t want to talk to her.

Scene Arc: She’s anxious about calling. Eppsa contacts Hayden.

49. EXT. PARK or BUILDING – NIGHT

Walking to their car, Hayden gets a call. It’s staticky. He gets a text from Eppsa. He says it can’t be her and to leave him alone.

Essence: Hayden thinks whoever calls and texts him is just a prank.

Conflict: Hayden can’t imagine who’s texting him.

Subtext: Hayden knows it can’t be his mom since she’s dead.

Hope/Fear: We hope he talks to her. We fear he won’t because he’s mad at her.

Scene Arc: Hayden is contacted by Eppsa. He tells her to stop messaging him.

ACT 4:

50. INT. HAYDEN’S HOUSE – GARAGE – DAY

Hayden checks the ice cream truck engine. Eppsa appears. Afraid, he throws a wrench at her. She ducks, but it goes through her. She’s shocked. A demon steps out of Hayden and morphs into her husband. He tells her Hayden will keep killing. She tells Hayden to get the amulet at the house to protect him from the demon. She disappears. The demon reenters Hayden. Hayden’s eyes turn black, then return to normal.

Essence: Hayden is surprised to see Eppsa. The demon wants Eppsa to go to Hell, where she belongs.

Conflict: The demon inside Hayden has taken over.

Subtext: The demon makes Hayden kill.

Hope/Fear: We hope the demon leaves Hayden and Eppsa alone. We fear it won’t.

Scene Arc: Eppsa confronts Hayden. The demon inside him scares her off.

51. EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Lonnie takes Eppsa to her gravesite. She realizes the nightmares were about her death. They both vanish.

Essence: Lonnie can finally show Eppsa her gravesite.

Conflict: Eppsa can’t believe she’s dead.

Subtext: Eppsa needs closure.

Hope/Fear: We hope Eppsa gets closure. We fear she won’t.

Scene Arc: Eppsa sees her headstone. She realizes she’s dead.

52. INT/EXT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – DAY

Hayden is at his old, dilapidated house. Inside, it’s dirty and falling apart. In his old room, the picture is on the floor, and the amulet is still on the wall. Eppsa appears and angrily snatches it. He talks like a kid to soften her and beg for forgiveness. She crushes the amulet. Hayden rushes to Eppsa’s bedroom. He finds the old floor safe, pulls out a gun, and aims it at her. Struggling, she makes him turn the gun on himself. He begs her because it’s Evren’s 15th birthday. She makes him kill himself.

Essence: Hayden wants his amulet because it gives him incredible power.

Conflict: Eppsa won’t let him have it.

Subtext: Eppsa is angry because he killed people.

Hope/Fear: We hope Eppsa stops him. We fear it won’t be over.

Scene Arc: Hayden sees his old house is collapsing. Eppsa makes him kill himself.

53. INT/EXT. HAYDEN’S HOUSE – NIGHT

The police tell Neta and Evren that Hayden killed himself.

RESOLUTION:

54. EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Eppsa, Lonnie, and the other spirits pass over, finding peace.

Essence: They find peace and pass on.

Conflict:

Subtext: Eppsa is thankful that Lonnie helped her end Hayden’s killing spree so she and everyone else could pass over.

Hope/Fear: We hope they enjoy Heaven. We fear it won’t be over.

Scene Arc: The group is happy at the cemetery. They all go to Heaven.

ONE YEAR LATER

55. INT. HAYDEN’S HOUSE – DAY

Neta watches the morning news as she makes Evren’s birthday breakfast. The news states the cops finally identified the bodies of Sigrid and Finnick who were found a few months ago in the soup kitchen after it closed. Quince was probably responsible for more deaths, but he claimed innocence.

Neta brings Evren his breakfast with the surprise of the ice cream truck keys hidden under the cover. Evren’s eyes turn black and return to normal.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Intriguing Moments

What I learned from doing this assignment is there is already a lot of mystery and intrigue since it’s a thriller. I added some more layers to improve the story.

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

Concept: After a ghost tells a professional mourner during his funeral that a serial killer murdered him, she tries to prove him wrong so he can pass over, only to discover that she is a ghost and is the serial killer’s mother.

Title: Grave Justice

Genre: Supernatural Thriller

ACT 1:

MYSTERY: Who killed Lonnie?

HIDDEN IDENTITY: Hayden is the killer.

INTRIGUE: Eppsa is a professional mourner and is the only one who can see Lonnie.

COVER UP: Clover doesn’t tell Eppsa she’s a ghost.

MYSTERY: Is there an evil spirit haunting Eppsa?

MYSTERY: Is the evil spirit Lonnie?

INCITING INCIDENT:

INTRIGUE: Eppsa tries to find her son, who disappeared years ago.

COVER UP: Clover doesn’t tell Eppsa she’s a ghost.

MYSTERY: Who is the evil spirit haunting Eppsa?

COVERT AGENDA: Lonnie knows Eppsa is a ghost, but he won’t tell her because it will jeopardize her ability to help him find his killer.

TURNING POINT 1:

MYSTERY: How does Lonnie know the names of the victims? Will Eppsa be able to help him?

ACT 2:

COVERT AGENDA: Hayden makes it look like his victims are dying from TikTok challenges.

INTRIGUE / MYSTERY: Eppsa’s phone is staticky each time she calls the police. How did something crash in another room?

INTRIGUE: Why would Hayden suddenly get cold when Eppsa pass him?

MYSTERY: Why are people dying? TikTok videos, suicide, or serial killer?

MYSTERY: Why hasn’t Eppsa been able to find and talk to Hayden?

SCHEME: Hayden sets up a future kill when he talks to an old friend.

MYSTERY: How does the little girl see Lonnie since he’s a ghost?

HIDDEN IDENTITY: Pastor Palmer McKee, who catches Eppsa in the church office, is a ghost killed by Lonnie’s dad in a Satanic ceremony.

COVERT AGENDA: Hayden uses his ice cream truck to search for victims to ensure he has an alibi when people turn up dead.

MYSTERY: Did the woman Eppsa found kill herself, or was she murdered?

SCHEME: Hayden unexpectedly finds another old friend who moved back to town and will become a victim.

TURNING POINT 2 / MIDPOINT:

MYSTERY: Why can’t Clover hear Lonnie? Is she really a clairvoyant, or is she a fake playing on Eppsa’s fears?

MYSTERY / INTRIGUE: Why is Eppsa starting to see more ghosts? How can she get rid of the ghosts?

SECRET / COVERT AGENDA: Everyone adores Hayden. They don’t know he is the killer. He’s looking for the right time to kill another friend. When he slowly drives behind a dark figure, it makes you think Hayden is the killer for a few minutes, but then you think he’s the Red Herring. Hayden works on gaining his friend’s trust, or he wants information before he kills him.

ACT 3:

MYSTERY / SECRET: Eppsa’s nightmare is really what happened, except Hayden wasn’t killed, she was.

COVERT AGENDA: Eppsa tries to help Lonnie pass over with Clover’s help.

COVERT AGENDA: Hayden gains the trust of his homeless high school friend so he can kill him and make it look like he’s innocent. Hayden wants everyone to believe that he could have been the victim, too, but he was the lucky one.

INTRIGUEMYSTERY: Why is Hayden so mad at Eppsa? Neither knows that Hayden can see her because he’s drunk.

MYSTERY: What does the amulet symbol mean? Is it used for protection?

MYSTERY: Was the woman a victim, or did she kill herself?

MYSTERY: How can Eppsa protect Hayden from the killer?

COVERT AGENDA / SECRET: Hayden buried the body of one of his victims in the attacker’s yard.

MYSTERY: Why can’t Clover stop the evil spirit?

MYSTERY / INTRIGUE: What was Lonnie trying to find when she caught him searching her house?

COVER UP: Hayden kills a food truck inspector or someone who sees cherry syrup, or something dark red that looks like blood, oozing out of a freezer, thinking it’s blood.

MYSTERY: Was Eppsa’s husband Satanic?

MYSTERY: Is the evil spirit Hayden’s dad?

TURNING POINT 3:

MYSTERY / INTRIGUE: Was the grandmother’s grandson, who killed himself, part of the Satanic cult that Hayden’s dad belonged to? Was he involved with the same cult?

MYSTERY: Is Hayden running from Eppsa?

INTRIGUE: Why is Lonnie so worried about Eppsa?

MYSTERY / INTRIGUE / HIDDEN AGENDA: Why does Evren have an amulet? What are they doing in the woods?

MYSTERY: What happened that Hayden turned from his mother and considered her dead to him all these years?

SCHEME: Eppsa’s dead husband has been haunting her. WHY?

ACT 4:

MYSTERY / INTRIGUE: How did Hayden get possessed? Is Hayden the killer, or is it her dead husband?

INTRIGUE: When Lonnie and Eppsa disappear, did they pass over? Are they finally gone for good?

MYSTERY: Why did Hayden have an amulet, and why does he need it now?

INTRIGUE: How will Eppsa stop Hayden or the evil spirit that dwells in him?

HIDDEN IDENTITY / COVERT AGENDA / SCHEME: Hayden believes he can get his mom to forgive him if she thinks he’s a child again so that she will go away. He will do whatever it takes to get the amulet back which will give him power.

Resolution:

INTRIGUE: When the evil spirit jumps out of Hayden into Evren, will he turn into a killer like his dad?

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Emotional Moments

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

Concept: After a professional mourner is told by a ghost during his funeral that he was murdered by a serial killer, she tries to prove him wrong so he can pass over, only to discover that she is a ghost and is the mother of the serial killer.

Title: Grave Justice

Genre: Supernatural Thriller

ACT 1: Lonnie is checking the chemicals in the church baptismal. The lights go out. A man attacks him. Lonnie is pushed headfirst into the church baptismal, breaks his neck and drowns. The police consider it an accident.

Hayden AJ 1: Hayden kills Lonnie.

Lonnie PJ 1: Lonnie is killed by Hayden.

DEEPER LAYER: Lonnie is a couple of years older than Hayden. He was in seminary school while Hayden was finishing high school. Lonnie’s younger brother killed himself when he became possessed. Lonnie persuaded Hayden’s friends to get out of a Satanic cult and turn to Jesus, but Hayden was already possessed. Hayden kills Lonnie because he felt Lonnie betrayed him.

SURPRISE/DISTRESS: Lonnie is killed, but it was made to look like an accident.

SETUP: Hayden, who is the serial killer, knows Lonnie from twenty years ago. Hayden has since carried a grudge. Revealed in the Climax.

SETUP: Lonnie becomes a ghost who helps Eppsa.

Eppsa PJ 1: Eppsa attends Lonnie’s funeral. She talks to Lonnie, but when he tells her he was murdered by a serial killer, she panics, realizes he’s a ghost, and runs off. Lonnie chases her. She crosses the street and looks back to see if he’s still following her. When he’s in the middle of the street, he’s about to be hit by an ice cream truck but disappears instead.

Lonnie PJ 2: Lonnie tells Eppsa he needs her help since she is the only one who can see him. He needs justice for the victims and himself so he can pass over. He doesn’t remember his attacker, but he knows the name of the next victim. When she flees, he chases her but vanishes as he is hit by an ice cream truck driven by Hayden.

SURPRISE/DISTRESS: Eppsa talks to a ghost. She is frightened when she discovers Lonnie is a ghost.

SETUP: Eppsa is ghost but doesn’t know it. Revealed in the Climax.

DEEPER LAYER: Lonnie knows that Eppsa is a ghost, but Eppsa doesn’t know she’s dead. He needs her since she can interact with the world.

REVEAL: Lonnie is a ghost.

Hayden AJ 2: Hayden and his 15-year-old son, Evren, drive with their music playing in the ice cream truck as they head to a neighborhood.

BONDING: Hayden and Evren are close. Evren looks up to his dad.

Eppsa PJ 2: Eppsa nervously talks to her neighbor for advice. The neighbor suggests talking to her clairvoyant friend, Clover.

SETUP: Eppsa’s neighbor is a ghost. Revealed in the Resolution.

INCITING INCIDENT: Eppsa talks to Clover and encounters an evil spirit.

Eppsa PJ 3: Eppsa is visiting a clairvoyant, Clover. She asks Clover to help her find Hayden. Eppsa is unaware that Clover only senses her presence as a ghost. Clover can’t locate Hayden just like in the prior sessions because he’s not dead. She senses an evil spirit in the room. Clover wants to know if Eppsa has seen any ghosts. Eppsa, embarrassed, lies and says no. Clover tells her to be cautious because an evil spirit is trying to attach itself to her. An evil spirit interrupts them by causing chaos. Both are afraid. Clover falls ill, and Eppsa leaves the store, unaware of the supernatural events about to unfold.

WOUND/HIDDEN WEAKNESS: Eppsa is afraid to talk to Clover about Lonnie. She loves her son, Hayden, and is desperate to find him.

APPREHENSION: The evil spirit scares them.

SETUP: The evil spirit is her dead husband. He appears multiple times and scares Eppsa. Revealed at Turning Point 3.

SETUP: Unless Eppsa talks to Clover or other ghosts, no one else can’t see or hear her. They can sense her and hear phone static.

Lonnie PJ 3: Lonnie scares Eppsa when he appears in her house. He tells her the name of the next victim before vanishing.

Eppsa PJ 4: Eppsa is terrified when Lonnie appears in her house. She thinks he’s the evil spirit trying to attach himself to her. Terrified, she begs him to leave. When he doesn’t leave, she throws things to scare him away.

TURNING POINT 1: Eppsa discovers the next victim’s name Lonnie gave her was real.

Eppsa PJ 5: In the obituary, Eppsa is shocked when she reads the name of the man Lonnie gave her.

DISBELIEF: She’s shocked to find Lonnie knew the name of the next victim.

ACT 2: Eppsa goes to the cemetery to talk to Lonnie. She’s given another victim’s name.

Eppsa PJ 6: Still wary and afraid, Eppsa, armed with things to ward off evil, goes to the cemetery for answers. She wants to know if he can see into the future or talk to humans because she wants to know about Hayden.

DISTRESS: She’s still afraid of Lonnie and doesn’t trust him.

Lonnie PJ 4: Lonnie laughs at Eppsa’s evil eye necklace, etc. and apologizes to her for scaring her. He doesn’t know anything about Hayden. He tells her the name of the next victim, but he doesn’t how the victims are connected. The serial killer is smart, tricky and vindictive.

SETUP: Hayden is the serial killer who is smart, tricky, vindictive, and possessed by a demon. Revealed in Climax.

Hayden AJ 3: Hayden watches the news and sees another death by someone trying to do a TikTok challenge. It’s becoming an epidemic.

Eppsa PJ 7: Eppsa reads the name of the victim Lonnie gave her. She calls the police. They have a bad connection, and they tell her to call back. She tries again. It’s staticky. They tell her to come in.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: The cop only hears static on the phone because she’s a ghost.

Eppsa PJ 8: Eppsa is at the police station waiting to talk to someone. The cop tells her to wait on a bench and to be patient. She checks her watch because she has a funeral to attend. A cop points in her direction and motions her over. She passes by Hayden who is in a chair.

COURAGE: Eppsa gets the strength to talk to the police.

Hayden AJ 4: Hayden is at the police station to receive an award for trying to save someone. His wife and son are proud of him. Hayden shivers when Eppsa’s spirit passes him. He asks if the news is real saying all the recent deaths are from TikTok challenges.

SETUP: Hayden can sense Eppsa’s spirit. Reveal in the Climax.

SURPRISE/WOUND: Hayden can sense his mom.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden is a good liar and manipulator. People love him. He killed the person but made it look like he was trying to save them. He feels the spirit of his mother when she passes him.

Eppsa PJ 9: From across the room, Eppsa hears a cop yell to Hayden for his good work. She turns from the cop that supposedly called her over and rushes after Hayden, but he and his family are out the door. She overhears cops standing at their car say these last few deaths were because they tried dangerous TikTok challenges.

EXCITEMENT: Eppsa is excited to finally see Hayden. She discovers her grandson.

Lonnie PJ 5: Lonnie appears outside the police station. He watches Eppsa run out. He goes and tells her there’s going to be another victim, but Eppsa tells him to leave her alone. She tries to do it quietly, so no one thinks she’s crazy talking to herself. She explains there’s no serial killer, just people dying from TikTok challenges. She’s late for a funeral and he needs to stop scaring her and pass over. She walks away before he says the next victim’s name. She wants nothing to do with him.

WOUND/DISTRESS: She doesn’t catch up with him.

Hayden AJ 5: Hayden volunteers at a homeless shelter. He passes out ice cream to everyone. He talks to an old high school friend who lives at the shelter. Hayden tells him they should get together next week.

BONDING: It seems like he’s bonding with an old classmate.

SETUP: Hayden volunteers to make him look good while finding victims. This friend is going to be another victim. Reveal in the Climax.

Lonnie PJ 6: Lonnie summons a bored little girl at a funeral to come over to him. He wants her to pass a message on to Eppsa. The next victim is a church member.

SETUP: The little girl might be a ghost, but I don’t know yet.

Eppsa PJ 10: Eppsa is late to a funeral. A little girl from the funeral comes up to her before she’s at the gravesite to tell Eppsa what Lonnie told her. (I don’t know if the little girl is alive and can see ghosts or if she is also a ghost.) Eppsa rushes into the church to find the address of the church member on the computer to check on them. Pastor Palmer McKee catches her in the office. She apologizes and leaves.

COURAGE/DISTRESS: Eppsa finds a way to help the possible next victim. She gets caught going through the church computer.

SETUP: Pastor Palmer McKee is a ghost. Revealed in the Resolution.

Hayden AJ 6: Hayden and Evren sell ice cream in a ritzy neighborhood. He plays classical music for the parents but jokes around with the kids, making him respectful yet fun to everyone.

BONDING: Hayden is loved by his patrons.

Eppsa PJ 11: Eppsa walks up to the front door and knocks. No answer. It’s locked. She goes around back. The door is unlocked. She goes inside and sees the woman dangling. The woman’s husband enters the front door, walks into the kitchen to find his dangling wife. Eppsa runs.

FEAR: Eppsa sees a woman who hung herself. Can she get away without being caught?

Hayden AJ 7: Hayden throws Evren an early birthday party before school starts. One of the kids’ parents was Hayden’s friend from school and will be another victim.

EXCITEMENT: Evren has a birthday party. The kids are jealous that he has such a great dad.

SETUP: Hayden’s friends is going to be one of his victims.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden discovers a dad of Evren’s friend was one of his high school friends who moved back to town.

TURNING POINT 2 / MIDPOINT: Eppsa talks to Clover. Eppsa thinks Lonnie is the evil spirit.

Eppsa PJ 12: Eppsa turns to Clover to see if she can help reveal the name of the serial killer. Clover can’t help her. She says an evil presence is in the room. Lonnie appears. Things fly. Eppsa tells Clover she’s being haunted by Lonnie’s evil spirit and to get rid of him. Clover’s face is scratched. She runs off.

FEAR: The evil spirit is aggressive.

Lonnie PJ 7: Lonnie talks to Eppsa when she is with Clover. Clover can’t hear him.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: The evil spirit is Eppsa’s dead husband, not Lonnie.

Hayden AJ 8: Hayden and Evren serve ice cream at the soup kitchen.

COMPASSION: Hayden seems to care about people.

SETUP: Hayden’s searching for his next victim.

Eppsa PJ 13: When Eppsa’s neighbor walks over, Eppsa hears a crash outside her house. She rushes to see. She sees the ghost of a young woman walking away from the accident. The young woman looks at Eppsa and signals her over. Eppsa is afraid. The young woman disappears. Eppsa freaks out and slams her door after her neighbor enters. An evil spirit comes after them. The neighbor flees. Eppsa hides. She hears a crash upstairs. She goes upstairs and finds a picture on the floor and an amulet hanging on the wall in Hayden’s old room.

FEAR: Eppsa sees another ghost.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: The ghost who is haunting Eppsa, which is her ghostly husband, wants her to find the amulet.

Lonnie PJ 8: Lonnie talks to a victim who wants to pass over but can’t. There might be several people that can’t pass over.

Hayden AJ 9: Driving in a poorly lit neighborhood in his ice cream truck, Hayden creeps along as he follows a man in a dark hoodie. The guy seems nervous and acts weird. Hayden follows him around another corner. The man starts to run. Hayden calls out. It’s his old friend with whom he got reacquainted with at Evren’s party. Hayden gives him a ride home.

FEAR/COMPASSION: We fear for the man because it seems like Hayden is stalking him. Hayden gives his friend a ride.

ACT 3: Eppsa discovers Hayden was friends with all the victims and fears he is on the list. Lonnie helps Eppsa realize she’s a ghost.

Eppsa PJ 14: Eppsa has a nightmare about her husband killing Hayden and himself. She tells her neighbor about the recurring nightmare.

FEAR: Eppsa thinks her husband killed Hayden and then himself.

RELIEF: It was just a nightmare.

Hayden AJ 10: Hayden is attacked or mugged by someone. He’s outside the soup kitchen or homeless shelter when it happens. He goes to the hospital.

FEAR: Hayden is attacked by someone.

SETUP: This is to throw everyone off that Hayden is the killer. Reveal is in the 3^rd Act or Climax? It might be a homeless person, a real killer, or one of his later victims.

Eppsa PJ 15: Eppsa meets with Clover to get rid of Lonnie. Lonnie materializes during the session. An evil entity causes havoc. Clover says it’s not Lonnie, but a different and sinister spirit.

EMOTIONAL DILEMMA: Eppsa wants Clover to get rid of Lonnie although she likes him.

FEAR/RELIEF: Lonnie isn’t evil.

Lonnie PJ 9: Clover senses Lonnie and realizes he’s a good spirit who just has unfinished business. Eppsa needs to listen to him. Lonnie gives her the name of the next victim.

Hayden AJ 10: Hayden is at a bar with his homeless friend. They walk out of a bar and stop in a park. Hayden tells his friend that when Evren goes back to school, his friend could help sell ice cream for cash to get off the street. The friend says he’s had a rough life after they joined the cult. He never truly believed in Jesus and doesn’t believe in Satan. Hayden assures him Satan is real; just look at the world we live in.

BONDING: Hayden talks to his old friend.

Eppsa PJ 16: Eppsa encounters Hayden on the street when he’s drunk and hanging out with his homeless friend. Hayden sees Eppsa’s ghostly form. He yells at her thinking she’s a real woman who resembles his mom. He’s angry that his mom was weak and wasn’t there for him. She was the reason the family was torn apart. He passes out on the bench. Eppsa cries.

DISTRESS/EMOTIONAL DILEMMA: Hayden is mean to Eppsa and Eppsa sees he’s hurting and wants to help.

REVEAL: Deep down, Hayden is hurt by the loss of his parents.

Eppsa PJ 17: Eppsa sees the obituary with the face of the homeless man who was with Hayden the day before. He has a tattoo that resembles the amulet. She looks through Hayden’s yearbook. The homeless man went to his high school. Eppsa is touched that there is a picture of a girl with a heart around her. An evil spirit creeps through her house. It closes a door. She thinks it’s Lonnie.

FEAR: Eppsa sees and/or hears things.

Lonnie PJ 10: Lonnie manifests at her house, scaring her. He sees the amulet. He’s never seen anything like it. Eppsa tells him it’s an amulet Hayden had for protection and it’s also a tattoo on one of the victims.

RELIEF: She thinks it was just Lonnie.

Eppsa PJ 18: Eppsa attends the funeral of the woman she saw hanging. She realizes it’s the woman in Hayden’s yearbook with a heart around her picture. Eppsa apologizes to Lonnie.

BONDING: She likes Lonnie and wants to help him.

Lonnie PJ 11: Lonnie and Eppsa talk after the funeral. She thinks there’s a link with Hayden’s high school friends. She believes the killer is after kids that attended Hayden’s school. She wants to find the killer to protect Hayden.

DISTRESS: She fears Hayden is going to be a victim.

REVEAL: The people killed were high school friends.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Eppsa feels Hayden’s life is in danger by the serial killer.

Hayden AJ 11: Hayden receives a key to the town. His wife, Neta, and Evren are proud of him, too.

SUCCESS: Hayden is loved and gets awards.

Eppsa PJ 19: Eppsa talks to Clover trying to get answers and find Hayden before he becomes a victim of the serial killer. She also wants to speak to her dead husband, thinking he might be able to help her find Hayden since they were close. An evil spirit interrupts and shatters her crystal ball.

FEAR: The evil spirit torments Eppsa.

Lonnie PJ 12: Lonnie is inside Eppsa’s house. He snoops through her stuff. He does something that makes Eppsa question his honesty or something.

Hayden AJ 12: Hayden kills someone in the back of the ice cream truck, while Evren is in front. Hayden shows Evren a gun and says he was protecting himself. He doesn’t want to tarnish his reputation, so they can’t tell anyone.

FEAR: We think Hayden is going to get killed, but he kills someone instead.

REVEAL: Hayden is truly demonic and will kill anyone without remorse.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden is grooming Evren.

Eppsa PJ 20: She finds a Satanic book hidden in the wall of her bedroom closet behind her husband’s clothes which are still in there.

SHOCK: Eppsa can’t believe her husband was a Satanist.

SETUP: Eppsa’s husband was a Satanist. Revealed in Climax.

Hayden AJ 13: Hayden encounters a malevolent, ghostly presence at his house. It does something that reminds him of his dad.

FEAR: Hayden is afraid of the ghost.

TURNING POINT 3: Eppsa is despondent and realizes the people dying all had been part of a Satanic cult. She now believes her husband is the ghost killing everyone.

Eppsa PJ 21: Eppsa goes to church to pray. She sees a woman crying while praying. The woman takes her to her grandson’s gravesite. It is the name of the teenager who killed himself after joining the Satanic cult. She wonders if Hayden was a part of the cult.

BONDING/DISTRESS: Eppsa sympathizes with the grandmother. She is now putting the pieces together. She’s worried about Hayden.

SETUP: The grandson killed himself after joining the cult with Hayden.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: The grandmother is a stuck spirit who is waiting for justice.

Lonnie AJ 13: Lonnie tells Eppsa to look to see if Hayden’s phone number is in the church registry.

Eppsa PJ 22: Eppsa attends the funeral of the homeless man. She goes into the church and finds Hayden’s number. She talks to the Pastor Palmer McKee. She wants him to pray for Hayden’s safety.

Hayden AJ 14: Hayden and Evren make their rounds in the ice cream truck. They are parked across the street from the church where Eppsa sees them.

Eppsa PJ 23: Eppsa calls and runs after Hayden and Evren, but she can’t catch up.

DISTRESS: Eppsa is eager to talk to Hayden to warn him about the danger.

Lonnie PJ 14: Lonnie finally talks to Clover because he’s worried about Eppsa.

BONDING: Lonnie wants to help Eppsa.

Hayden AJ 15: Hayden and his family are celebrating something around a bonfire with a group of people. Hayden escorts Evren along with the other men into the woods. Evren comes out wearing an amulet. He proudly shows it off to his mom.

BONDING/EXCITEMENT: Hayden and Evren are close. It seems like Hayden is giving Evren an amulet to protect him.

SETUP: Hayden introduces Evren to his Satanic cult, although the audience will think the amulet is for protection. Reveal in Resolution.

Eppsa PJ 24: Eppsa texts Hayden. He says it can’t be her because she’s gone and ruined their family. She’s been dead to him a long time. He won’t respond to her texts. She cries. An evil spirit reveals himself as her husband. He’s angry, chases her, and knocks things over. She hides and falls asleep in the closet.

FEAR: Eppsa is chased and tormented by the evil spirit, again.

REVEAL: Eppsa is dead. The audience still might think it’s metaphorical.

ACT 4: Eppsa learns she’s a ghost and was murdered by her husband. She forces Hayden to kill himself.

Eppsa PJ 25: Eppsa is so anxious about Hayden’s safety, that she materializes in front of him at his house to tell him the ghost of his dad is killing people.

LOVE: Eppsa loves her son and will do anything for him.

Hayden AJ 16: Hayden is doing something to the ice cream truck as a surprise for Evren’s birthday in a few days. Hayden sees his mom appear. He gets angry. He throws something at her. It goes through her. A demon steps out of Hayden. The demon morphs into her husband. He threatens to take her to Hell where she belongs. The demon says Hayden had to kill the people because they betrayed Satan. She’s confused and afraid. She says something about their old house. She disappears. The demon reenters Hayden. His eyes turn black and then returns to normal. Hayden thinks she’s gone for good.

LOVE/BONDING/FEAR/EMOTIONAL DILEMMA: Eppsa expresses her love for her son. Hayden is possessed by a demon. Eppsa disappears in fear of what might happen to her.

REVEAL: Hayden is the serial killer possessed by a demon.

REVEAL: Eppsa’s husband was a Satanist.

Eppsa PJ 26: Eppsa is at the cemetery with Lonnie.

Lonnie PJ 15: Lonnie takes Eppsa to her gravesite and shows her the headstone where she and her husband are buried. She realizes the nightmares were real, but she was killed and not Hayden. They both vanish.

WOUND: Eppsa couldn’t face the fact that her husband killed her.

REVEAL: Eppsa discovers she’s a ghost just like Lonnie.

Hayden AJ 17: Hayden goes to his old house. The house is now dilapidated. He enters and looks around. He goes to his old room. The picture is on the floor and the amulet is missing from the wall.

WOUND: Hayden is sad and ??? returning to his old house.

REVEAL: The house was always dilapidated, but Eppsa didn’t see it. Some of the things that scared her was from the house falling down.

Eppsa PJ 27: Eppsa appears and scares Hayden. She takes a step closer to him. Her spectral form seemingly unaffected by the physical barriers.

FEAR/EMOTIONAL DILEMMA: Eppsa is angry and worried about Hayden and the demon inside him.

Hayden AJ 18: To manipulate Eppsa, Hayden talks to her like he’s a kid again and begs for forgiveness. She says he can’t kill people and get away with it. He says he can do whatever he wants.

BETRAYAL: Hayden betrays Eppsa.

REVEAL: She asks Hayden about Lonnie, and he tells her what happened when they were younger.

He sees the amulet that he came back to get. He grabs for it. Eppsa knocks it to the floor. He says it’s his amulet that was sanctified with his friend’s sacrificial blood. He reaches for it. She creates an unseen force around the amulet; it glows and shatters. It was to bond to his evil spirit that leaves his body. Eppsa’s energy builds as she holds him in place. The floorboard safe opens. A gun emerges. Her supernatural power overrides Hayden’s resistance. His hand involuntarily takes ahold of the gun. She seems to draw energy from his fear and vulnerability and makes him shoot himself for justice. A bigger and more malevolent, red-eyed spirit escapes Hayden, swooshes through the house, and vanishes.

FEAR/MORAL ISSUE/EMOTIONAL DILEMMA: Eppsa must choose to stop Hayden by making him kill himself or let him continue to kill people and not get justice for his victims.

REVEAL: The amulet was evil.

Resolution: Eppsa, Lonnie, and the other spirits pass over finding peace. Evren gets keys to the ice cream truck on his 16^th birthday. His fiddles with the amulet around his neck that he got with his dad at the picnic. His eye’s turn black and return to normal.

LOVE: Everyone has closer and passes over.

FEAR: Evren is now possessed by the demon.

REVEAL: All the victims, who couldn’t let go, have closer and pass over.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Reveals!

What I learned from doing this assignment is most of scene’s work. There are a few that need more work. I added a scene to throw off the audience, so they don’t think the killer is Hayden.

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

Concept: After a professional mourner is told by a ghost during his funeral that he was murdered by a serial killer, she tries to prove him wrong so he can pass over, only to discover that she is a ghost and is the mother of the serial killer.

Title: Grave Justice

Genre: Supernatural Thriller

ACT 1: Lonnie is checking the chemicals in the church baptismal. The lights go out. A man attacks him. Lonnie is pushed headfirst into the church baptismal, breaks his neck and drowns. The police consider it an accident.

Hayden AJ 1: Hayden kills Lonnie.

Lonnie PJ 1: Lonnie is killed by Hayden.

DEEPER LAYER: Lonnie is a couple of years older than Hayden. He was in seminary school while Hayden was finishing high school. Lonnie’s younger brother killed himself when he became possessed. Lonnie persuaded Hayden’s friends to get out of a Satanic cult and turn to Jesus, but Hayden was already possessed. Hayden kills Lonnie because he felt Lonnie betrayed him.

SETUP: Hayden, who is the serial killer, knows Lonnie from twenty years ago. Hayden has since carried a grudge. Revealed in the Climax.

SETUP: Lonnie becomes a ghost who helps Eppsa.

Eppsa PJ 1: Eppsa attends Lonnie’s funeral. She talks to Lonnie, but when he tells her he was murdered by a serial killer, she panics, realizes he’s a ghost, and runs off. Lonnie chases her. She crosses the street and looks back to see if he’s still following her. When he’s in the middle of the street, he’s about to be hit by an ice cream truck but disappears instead.

Lonnie PJ 2: Lonnie tells Eppsa he needs her help since she is the only one who can see him. He needs justice for the victims and himself so he can pass over. He doesn’t remember his attacker, but he knows the name of the next victim. When she flees, he chases her but vanishes as he is hit by an ice cream truck driven by Hayden.

SETUP: Eppsa is ghost but doesn’t know it. Revealed in the Climax.

DEEPER LAYER: Lonnie knows that Eppsa is a ghost, but Eppsa doesn’t know she’s dead. He needs her since she can interact with the world.

REVEAL: Lonnie is a ghost.

Hayden AJ 2: Hayden and his 15-year-old son drive down the road with their music playing in the ice cream truck as they head to a neighborhood.

Eppsa PJ 2: Eppsa nervously talks to her neighbor for advice. The neighbor suggests talking to her clairvoyant friend, Clover.

SETUP: Eppsa’s neighbor is a ghost. Revealed in the Resolution.

INCITING INCIDENT: Eppsa talks to Clover and encounters an evil spirit.

Eppsa PJ 3: Eppsa is visiting a clairvoyant, Clover. She asks Clover to help her find Hayden. Eppsa is unaware that Clover only senses her presence as a ghost. Clover can’t locate Hayden just like in the prior sessions because he’s not dead. She senses an evil spirit in the room. Clover wants to know if Eppsa has seen any ghosts. Eppsa, embarrassed, lies and says no. Clover tells her to be cautious because an evil spirit is trying to attach itself to her. An evil spirit interrupts them by causing chaos. Both are afraid. Clover falls ill, and Eppsa leaves the store, unaware of the supernatural events about to unfold.

SETUP: The evil spirit is her dead husband. He appears multiple times and scares Eppsa. Revealed at Turning Point 3.

SETUP: Unless Eppsa talks to Clover or other ghosts, no one else can’t see or hear her. They can sense her and hear phone static.

Lonnie PJ 3: Lonnie scares Eppsa when he appears in her house. He tells her the name of the next victim before vanishing.

Eppsa PJ 4: Eppsa is terrified when Lonnie appears in her house. She thinks he’s the evil spirit trying to attach himself to her. Terrified, she begs him to leave. When he doesn’t leave, she throws things to scare him away.

TURNING POINT 1: Eppsa discovers the next victim’s name Lonnie gave her was real.

Eppsa PJ 5: In the obituary, Eppsa is shocked when she reads the name of the man Lonnie gave her.

ACT 2: Eppsa goes to the cemetery to talk to Lonnie. She’s given another victim’s name.

Eppsa PJ 6: Still wary and afraid, Eppsa, armed with things to ward off evil, goes to the cemetery for answers. She wants to know if he can see into the future or talk to humans because she wants to know about Hayden.

Lonnie PJ 4: Lonnie laughs at Eppsa’s evil eye necklace, etc. and apologizes to her for scaring her. He doesn’t know anything about Hayden. He tells her the name of the next victim, but he doesn’t how the victims are connected. The serial killer is smart, tricky and vindictive.

SETUP: Hayden is the serial killer who is smart, tricky, vindictive, and possessed by a demon. Revealed in Climax.

Hayden AJ 3: Hayden watches the news and sees another death by someone trying to do a TikTok challenge. It’s becoming an epidemic.

Eppsa PJ 7: Eppsa reads the name of the victim Lonnie gave her. She calls the police. They have a bad connection, and they tell her to call back. She tries again. It’s staticky. They tell her to come in.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: The cop only hears static on the phone because she’s a ghost.

Eppsa PJ 8: Eppsa is at the police station waiting to talk to someone. The cop tells her to wait on a bench and to be patient. She checks her watch because she has a funeral to attend. A cop points in her direction and motions her over. She passes by Hayden who is in a chair.

Hayden AJ 4: Hayden is at the police station to receive an award for trying to save someone. His wife and son are proud of him. Hayden shivers when Eppsa’s spirit passes him. He asks if the news is real saying all the recent deaths are from TikTok challenges.

SETUP: Hayden can sense Eppsa’s spirit. Reveal in the Climax.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden is a good liar and manipulator. People love him. He killed the person but made it look like he was trying to save them. He feels the spirit of his mother when she passes him.

Eppsa PJ 9: From across the room, Eppsa hears a cop yell to Hayden for his good work. She turns from the cop that supposedly called her over and rushes after Hayden, but he and his family are out the door. She overhears cops standing at their car say these last few deaths were because they tried dangerous TikTok challenges.

Lonnie PJ 5: Lonnie appears outside the police station. He watches Eppsa run out. He goes and tells her there’s going to be another victim, but Eppsa tells him to leave her alone. She tries to do it quietly, so no one thinks she’s crazy talking to herself. She explains there’s no serial killer, just people dying from TikTok challenges. She’s late for a funeral and he needs to stop scaring her and pass over. She walks away before he says the next victim’s name. She wants nothing to do with him.

Hayden AJ 5: Hayden volunteers at a homeless shelter. He passes out ice cream to everyone. He talks to an old high school friend who lives at the shelter. Hayden tells him they should get together next week.

SETUP: Hayden volunteers to make him look good while finding victims. This friend is going to be another victim. Reveal in the Climax.

Lonnie PJ 6: Lonnie summons a bored little girl at a funeral to come over to him. He wants her to pass a message on to Eppsa. The next victim is a church member.

SETUP: The little girl might be a ghost, but I don’t know yet.

Eppsa PJ 10: Eppsa is late to a funeral. A little girl from the funeral comes up to her before she’s at the gravesite to tell Eppsa what Lonnie told her. (I don’t know if the little girl is alive and can see ghosts or if she is also a ghost.) Eppsa rushes into the church to find the address of the church member on the computer to check on them. Pastor Palmer McKee catches her in the office. She apologizes and leaves.

SETUP: Pastor Palmer McKee is a ghost. Revealed in the Resolution.

Hayden AJ 6: Hayden and Evren sell ice cream in a ritzy neighborhood. He plays classical music for the parents but jokes around with the kids, making him respectful yet fun to everyone.

Eppsa PJ 11: Eppsa walks up to the front door and knocks. No answer. It’s locked. She goes around back. The door is unlocked. She goes inside and sees the woman dangling. The woman’s husband enters the front door, walks into the kitchen to find his dangling wife. Eppsa runs.

Hayden AJ 7: Hayden throws Evren an early birthday party before school starts. One of the kids’ parents was Hayden’s friend from school and will be another victim.

SETUP: Hayden’s friends is going to be one of his victims.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden discovers a dad of Evren’s friend was one of his high school friends who moved back to town.

TURNING POINT 2 / MIDPOINT: Eppsa talks to Clover. Eppsa thinks Lonnie is the evil spirit.

Eppsa PJ 12: Eppsa turns to Clover to see if she can help reveal the name of the serial killer. Clover can’t help her. She says an evil presence is in the room. Lonnie appears. Things fly. Eppsa tells Clover she’s being haunted by Lonnie’s evil spirit and to get rid of him. Clover’s face is scratched. She runs off.

Lonnie PJ 7: Lonnie talks to Eppsa when she is with Clover. Clover can’t hear him.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: The evil spirit is Eppsa’s dead husband, not Lonnie.

Hayden AJ 8: Hayden and Evren serve ice cream at the soup kitchen.

SETUP: Hayden’s searching for his next victim.

Eppsa PJ 13: When Eppsa’s neighbor walks over, Eppsa hears a crash outside her house. She rushes to see. She sees the ghost of a young woman walking away from the accident. The young woman looks at Eppsa and signals her over. Eppsa is afraid. The young woman disappears. Eppsa freaks out and slams her door after her neighbor enters. An evil spirit comes after them. The neighbor flees. Eppsa hides. She hears a crash upstairs. She goes upstairs and finds a picture on the floor and an amulet hanging on the wall in Hayden’s old room.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: The ghost who is haunting Eppsa, which is her ghostly husband, wants her to find the amulet.

Lonnie PJ 8: Lonnie talks to a victim who wants to pass over but can’t. There might be several people that can’t pass over.

Hayden AJ 9: Driving in a poorly lit neighborhood in his ice cream truck, Hayden creeps along as he follows a man in a dark hoodie. The guy seems nervous and acts weird. Hayden follows him around another corner. The man starts to run. Hayden calls out. It’s his old friend with whom he got reacquainted with at Evren’s party. Hayden gives him a ride home.

ACT 3: Eppsa discovers Hayden was friends with all the victims and fears he is on the list. Lonnie helps Eppsa realize she’s a ghost.

Eppsa PJ 14: Eppsa has a nightmare about her husband killing Hayden and himself. She tells her neighbor about the recurring nightmare.

Hayden AJ 10: Hayden is attacked or mugged by someone. He’s outside the soup kitchen or homeless shelter when it happens. He goes to the hospital.

SETUP: This is to throw everyone off that Hayden is the killer. Reveal is in the 3^rd Act or Climax? It might be a homeless person, a real killer, or one of his later victims.

Eppsa PJ 15: Eppsa meets with Clover to get rid of Lonnie. Lonnie materializes during the session. An evil entity causes havoc. Clover says it’s not Lonnie, but a different and sinister spirit.

Lonnie PJ 9: Clover senses Lonnie and realizes he’s a good spirit who just has unfinished business. Eppsa needs to listen to him. Lonnie gives her the name of the next victim.

Hayden AJ 10: Hayden is at a bar with his homeless friend. They walk out of a bar and stop in a park. Hayden tells his friend that when Evren goes back to school, his friend could help sell ice cream for cash to get off the street. The friend says he’s had a rough life after they joined the cult. He never truly believed in Jesus and doesn’t believe in Satan. Hayden assures him Satan is real; just look at the world we live in.

Eppsa PJ 16: Eppsa encounters Hayden on the street when he’s drunk and hanging out with his homeless friend. Hayden sees Eppsa’s ghostly form. He yells at her thinking she’s a real woman who resembles his mom. He’s angry that his mom was weak and wasn’t there for him. She was the reason the family was torn apart. He passes out on the bench. Eppsa cries.

REVEAL: Deep down, Hayden is hurt by the loss of his parents.

Eppsa PJ 17: Eppsa sees the obituary with the face of the homeless man who was with Hayden the day before. He has a tattoo that resembles the amulet. She looks through Hayden’s yearbook. The homeless man went to his high school. Eppsa is touched that there is a picture of a girl with a heart around her. An evil spirit creeps through her house. It closes a door. She thinks it’s Lonnie.

Lonnie PJ 10: Lonnie manifests at her house, scaring her. He sees the amulet. He’s never seen anything like it. Eppsa tells him it’s an amulet Hayden had for protection and it’s also a tattoo on one of the victims.

Eppsa PJ 18: Eppsa attends the funeral of the woman she saw hanging. She realizes it’s the woman in Hayden’s yearbook with a heart around her picture. Eppsa apologizes to Lonnie.

Lonnie PJ 11: Lonnie and Eppsa talk after the funeral. She thinks there’s a link with Hayden’s high school friends. She believes the killer is after kids that attended Hayden’s school. She wants to find the killer to protect Hayden.

REVEAL: The people killed were high school friends.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Eppsa feels Hayden’s life is in danger by the serial killer.

Hayden AJ 11: Hayden receives a key to the town. His wife, Neta, and Evren are proud of him, too.

Eppsa PJ 19: Eppsa talks to Clover trying to get answers and find Hayden before he becomes a victim of the serial killer. She also wants to speak to her dead husband, thinking he might be able to help her find Hayden since they were close. An evil spirit interrupts and shatters her crystal ball.

Lonnie PJ 12: Lonnie is inside Eppsa’s house. He snoops through her stuff. He does something that makes Eppsa question his honesty or something.

Hayden AJ 12: Hayden kills someone in the back of the ice cream truck, while Evren is in front. Hayden shows Evren a gun and says he was protecting himself. He doesn’t want to tarnish his reputation, so they can’t tell anyone.

REVEAL: Hayden is truly demonic and will kill anyone without remorse.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden is grooming Evren.

Eppsa PJ 20: She finds a Satanic book hidden in the wall of her bedroom closet behind her husband’s clothes which are still in there.

SETUP: Eppsa’s husband was a Satanist. Revealed in Climax.

Hayden AJ 13: Hayden encounters a malevolent, ghostly presence at his house. It does something that reminds him of his dad.

TURNING POINT 3: Eppsa is despondent and realizes the people dying all had been part of a Satanic cult. She now believes her husband is the ghost killing everyone.

Eppsa PJ 21: Eppsa goes to church to pray. She sees a woman crying while praying. The woman takes her to her grandson’s gravesite. It is the name of the teenager who killed himself after joining the Satanic cult.

SETUP: The grandson killed himself after joining the cult with Hayden.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: The grandmother is a stuck spirit who is waiting for justice.

Lonnie AJ 13: Lonnie tells Eppsa to look to see if Hayden’s phone number is in the church registry.

Eppsa PJ 22: Eppsa attends the funeral of the homeless man. She goes into the church and finds Hayden’s number. She talks to the Pastor Palmer McKee. She wants him to pray for Hayden’s safety.

Hayden AJ 14: Hayden and Evren make their rounds in the ice cream truck. They park across the street from the church where Eppsa sees them.

Eppsa PJ 23: Eppsa calls and runs after Hayden and Evren, but she can’t catch up.

Lonnie PJ 14: Lonnie finally talks to Clover because he’s worried about Eppsa.

Hayden AJ 15: Hayden and his family are celebrating something around a bonfire with a group of people. Hayden escorts Evren along with the other men into the woods. Evren comes out wearing an amulet. He proudly shows it off to his mom.

SETUP: Hayden introduces Evren to his Satanic cult, although the audience will think the amulet is for protection. Reveal in Resolution.

Eppsa PJ 24: Eppsa texts Hayden. He says it can’t be her because she’s gone and ruined their family. She’s been dead to him a long time. He won’t respond to her texts. She cries. An evil spirit reveals himself as her husband. He’s angry, chases her, and knocks things over. She hides and falls asleep in the closet.

REVEAL: Eppsa is dead. The audience still might think it’s metaphorical.

ACT 4: Eppsa learns she’s a ghost and was murdered by her husband. She forces Hayden to kill himself.

Eppsa PJ 25: Eppsa is so anxious about Hayden’s safety, that she materializes in front of him at his house to tell him the ghost of his dad is killing people.

Hayden AJ 16: Hayden is doing something to the ice cream truck as a surprise for Evren’s birthday in a few days. Hayden sees his mom appear. He gets angry. He throws something at her. It goes through her. A demon steps out of Hayden. The demon morphs into her husband. He threatens to take her to Hell where she belongs. The demon says Hayden had to kill the people because they betrayed Satan. She’s confused and afraid. She says something about their old house. She disappears. The demon reenters Hayden. His eyes turn black and then returns to normal. Hayden thinks she’s gone for good.

REVEAL: Hayden is the serial killer possessed by a demon.

REVEAL: Eppsa’s husband was a Satanist.

Eppsa PJ 26: Eppsa is at the cemetery with Lonnie.

Lonnie PJ 15: Lonnie takes Eppsa to her gravesite and shows her the headstone where she and her husband are buried. She realizes the nightmares were real, but she was killed and not Hayden. They both vanish.

REVEAL: Eppsa discovers she’s a ghost just like Lonnie.

Hayden AJ 17: Hayden goes to his old house. The house is now dilapidated. He enters and looks around. He goes to his old room. The picture is on the floor and the amulet is missing from the wall.

REVEAL: The house was always dilapidated, but Eppsa didn’t see it. Some of the things that scared her was from the house falling down.

Eppsa PJ 27: Eppsa appears and scares Hayden. She takes a step closer to him. Her spectral form seemingly unaffected by the physical barriers.

Hayden AJ 18: To manipulate Eppsa, Hayden talks to her like he’s a kid again and begs for forgiveness. She says he can’t kill people and get away with it. He says he can do whatever he wants.

REVEAL: She asks Hayden about Lonnie, and he tells her what happened when they were younger.

He sees the amulet that he came back to get. He grabs for it. Eppsa knocks it to the floor. He says it’s his amulet that was sanctified with his friend’s sacrificial blood. He reaches for it. She creates an unseen force around the amulet; it glows and shatters. It was to bond to his evil spirit that leaves his body. Eppsa’s energy builds as she holds him in place. The floorboard safe opens. A gun emerges. Her supernatural power overrides Hayden’s resistance. His hand involuntarily takes ahold of the gun. She seems to draw energy from his fear and vulnerability and makes him shoot himself for justice. A bigger and more malevolent, red-eyed spirit escapes Hayden, swooshes through the house, and vanishes.

REVEAL: The amulet was evil.

Resolution: Eppsa, Lonnie, and the other spirits pass over finding peace. Evren gets keys to the ice cream truck on his 16^th birthday. His fiddles with the amulet around his neck that he got with his dad at the picnic. His eye’s turn black and return to normal.

REVEAL: All the victims, who couldn’t let go, have closer and pass over.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Character Action Tracks!

What I learned from doing this assignment is using the skills in the ProSeries and WIM I don’t have change much regarding the character profiles. One of the most helpful lessons in the ProSeries was interviewing the characters. I use that skill every time I write a script. I did find areas to improve. There is still one in the 3^rd Act that I am figuring out.

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

Concept: After a professional mourner is told by a ghost during his funeral that he was murdered by a serial killer, she tries to prove him wrong so he can pass over, only to discover that she is a ghost and is the mother of the serial killer.

Title: Grave Justice

Genre: Supernatural Thriller

ACT 1: Lonnie is checking the chemicals in the church baptismal. The lights go out. A man attacks him. Lonnie is pushed headfirst into the church baptismal, breaks his neck and drowns. The police consider it an accident.

Hayden AJ 1: Hayden kills Lonnie.

Lonnie PJ 1: Lonnie is killed by Hayden.

DEEPER LAYER: Lonnie is a couple of years older than Hayden. He was in seminary school while Hayden was finishing high school. Lonnie’s younger brother killed himself when he became possessed. Lonnie persuaded Hayden’s friends to get out of a Satanic cult and turn to Jesus, but Hayden was already possessed. Hayden kills Lonnie because he felt Lonnie betrayed him.

Eppsa PJ 1: Eppsa attends Lonnie’s funeral. She talks to Lonnie, but when he tells her he was murdered by a serial killer, she panics, realizes he’s a ghost, and runs off. Lonnie chases her. She crosses the street and looks back to see if he’s still following her. When he’s in the middle of the street, he’s about to be hit by an ice cream truck but disappears instead.

Lonnie PJ 2: Lonnie tells Eppsa he needs her help since she is the only one who can see him. He needs justice for the victims and himself so he can pass over. He doesn’t remember his attacker, but he knows the name of the next victim. When she flees, he chases her but vanishes as he is hit by an ice cream truck driven by Hayden.

DEEPER LAYER: Lonnie knows that Eppsa is a ghost, but Eppsa doesn’t know she’s dead. He needs her since she can interact with the world.

Hayden AJ 2: Hayden and his 15-year-old son drive down the road with their music playing in the ice cream truck as they head to a neighborhood.

Eppsa PJ 2: Eppsa nervously talks to her neighbor for advice. The neighbor suggests talking to her clairvoyant friend, Clover.

INCITING INCIDENT: Eppsa talks to Clover and encounters an evil spirit.

Eppsa PJ 3: Eppsa is visiting a clairvoyant, Clover. She asks Clover to help her find Hayden. Eppsa is unaware that Clover only senses her presence as a ghost. Clover can’t locate Hayden just like in the prior sessions because he’s not dead. She senses an evil spirit in the room. Clover wants to know if Eppsa has seen any ghosts. Eppsa, embarrassed, lies and says no. Clover tells her to be cautious because an evil spirit is trying to attach itself to her. An evil spirit interrupts them by causing chaos. Both are afraid. Clover falls ill, and Eppsa leaves the store, unaware of the supernatural events about to unfold.

Lonnie PJ 3: Lonnie scares Eppsa when he appears in her house. He tells her the name of the next victim before vanishing.

Eppsa PJ 4: Eppsa is terrified when Lonnie appears in her house. She thinks he’s the evil spirit trying to attach himself to her. Terrified, she begs him to leave. When he doesn’t leave, she throws things to scare him away.

TURNING POINT 1: Eppsa discovers the next victim’s name Lonnie gave her was real.

Eppsa PJ 5: In the obituary, Eppsa is shocked when she reads the name of the man Lonnie gave her.

ACT 2: Eppsa goes to the cemetery to talk to Lonnie. She’s given another victim’s name.

Eppsa PJ 6: Still wary and afraid, Eppsa, armed with things to ward off evil, goes to the cemetery for answers. She wants to know if he can see into the future or talk to people on earth because she wants to know about Hayden.

Lonnie PJ 4: Lonnie laughs at Eppsa’s evil eye necklace, etc. and apologizes to her for scaring her. He doesn’t know Hayden. He tells her the name of the next victim, but he doesn’t how the victims are connected. The serial killer is smart, tricky and vindictive.

Hayden AJ 3: Hayden watches the news and sees another death by someone trying to do a TikTok challenge. It’s becoming an epidemic.

Eppsa PJ 7: Eppsa reads the name of the victim Lonnie gave her. She calls the police. They have a bad connection, and they tell her to call back. She tries again. It’s staticky. They tell her to come in.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: The cop only hears static on the phone because she’s a ghost.

Eppsa PJ 8: Eppsa is at the police station waiting to talk to someone. The cop tells her to wait on a bench and to be patient. She checks her watch because she has a funeral to attend. A cop points in her direction and motions her over. She passes by Hayden who is in a chair.

Hayden AJ 4: Hayden is at the police station to receive an award for trying to save someone. His wife and son are proud of him. Hayden shivers when Eppsa’s spirit passes him. He asks if the news is real saying all the recent deaths are from TikTok challenges.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden is a good liar and manipulator. People love him. He killed the person but made it look like he was trying to save them. He feels the spirit of his mother when she passes him.

Eppsa PJ 9: From across the room, Eppsa hears a cop yell to Hayden for his good work. She turns from the cop that supposedly called her over and rushes after Hayden, but he and his family are out the door. She overhears cops standing at their car say these last few deaths were because they tried dangerous TikTok challenges.

Lonnie PJ 5: Lonnie appears outside the police station. He watches Eppsa run out. He goes and tells her there’s going to be another victim, but Eppsa tells him to leave her alone. She tries to do it quietly, so no one thinks she’s crazy talking to herself. She explains there’s no serial killer, just people dying from TikTok challenges. She’s late for a funeral and he needs to stop scaring her and pass over. She walks away before he says the next victim’s name.

Hayden AJ 5: Hayden volunteers at a homeless shelter. He passes out ice cream to everyone. He talks to an old high school friend who lives at the shelter. Hayden tells him they should get together next week.

Lonnie PJ 6: Lonnie summons a bored little girl at a funeral to come over to him. He wants her to pass a message on to Eppsa. The next victim is a church member.

Eppsa PJ 10: Eppsa is late to a funeral. A little girl from the funeral comes up to her before she’s at the gravesite to tell Eppsa what Lonnie told her. (I don’t know if the little girl is alive and can see ghosts or if she is also a ghost.) Eppsa rushes into the church to find the address of the church member on the computer to check on them. Pastor Palmer McKee catches her in the office. She apologizes and leaves.

Hayden AJ 6: Hayden and Evren sell ice cream in a ritzy neighborhood. He plays classical music for the parents but jokes around with the kids, making him respectful yet fun to everyone.

Eppsa PJ 11: Eppsa walks up to the front door and knocks. No answer. It’s locked. She goes around back. The door is unlocked. She goes inside and sees the woman dangling. The woman’s husband enters the front door, walks into the kitchen to find his dangling wife. Eppsa runs.

Hayden AJ 7: Hayden throws Evren an early birthday party. One of the kids’ parents was Hayden’s friend from school and will be another victim.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden discovers a dad of Evren’s friend was one of his high school friends who moved back to town.

TURNING POINT 2 / MIDPOINT: Eppsa talks to Clover. Eppsa thinks Lonnie is the evil spirit.

Eppsa PJ 12: Eppsa turns to Clover to see if she can help reveal the name of the serial killer. Clover can’t help her. She says an evil presence is in the room. Lonnie appears. Things fly. Eppsa tells Clover she’s being haunted by Lonnie’s evil spirit and to get rid of him. Clover’s face is scratched. She runs off.

Lonnie PJ 7: Lonnie talks to Eppsa when she is with Clover. Clover can’t hear him.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: The evil spirit is Eppsa’s dead husband, not Lonnie.

Hayden AJ 8: Hayden and Evren serve ice cream at the soup kitchen.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden’s searching for his next victim.

Eppsa PJ 13: When Eppsa’s neighbor walks over, Eppsa hears a crash outside her house. She rushes to see. She sees the ghost of a young woman walking away from the accident. The young woman looks at Eppsa and signals her over. Eppsa is afraid. The young woman disappears. Eppsa freaks out and slams her door after her neighbor enters. An evil spirit comes after them. The neighbor flees. Eppsa hides. She hears a crash upstairs. She goes upstairs and finds a picture on the floor and an amulet hanging on the wall in Hayden’s old room.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: The ghost who is haunting Eppsa, which is her ghostly husband, wants her to find the amulet.

Lonnie PJ 8: Lonnie talks to a victim who wants to pass over but can’t.

Hayden AJ 9: Driving in a poorly lit neighborhood in his ice cream truck, Hayden creeps along as he follows a man in a dark hoodie. The guy seems nervous and acts weird. Hayden follows him around another corner. The man starts to run. Hayden calls out. It’s his old friend with whom he got reacquainted with at Evren’s party. Hayden gives him a ride home.

ACT 3: Eppsa discovers Hayden was friends with all the victims and fears he is on the list. Lonnie helps Eppsa realize she’s a ghost.

Eppsa PJ 14: Eppsa has a nightmare about her husband killing Hayden and himself. She tells her neighbor about the recurring nightmare.

Eppsa PJ 15: Eppsa meets with Clover to get rid of Lonnie. Lonnie materializes during the session. An evil entity causes havoc. Clover says it’s not Lonnie, but a different and sinister spirit.

Lonnie PJ 9: Clover senses Lonnie and realizes he’s a good spirit who just has unfinished business. Eppsa needs to listen to him. Lonnie gives her the name of the next victim.

Hayden AJ 10: Hayden is at a bar with his homeless friend. They walk out of a bar and stop in a park. Hayden tells his friend that when Evren goes back to school, his friend could help sell ice cream for cash to get off the street. The friend says he’s had a rough life after they joined the cult. He never truly believed in Jesus and doesn’t believe in Satan. Hayden assures him Satan is real; just look at the world we live in.

Eppsa PJ 16: Eppsa encounters Hayden on the street when he’s drunk and hanging out with his homeless friend. Hayden sees Eppsa’s ghostly form. He yells at her thinking she’s a real woman who resembles his mom. He’s angry that his mom was weak and wasn’t there for him. She was the reason the family was torn apart. He passes out on the bench. Eppsa cries.

Eppsa PJ 17: Eppsa sees the obituary with the face of the homeless man who was with Hayden the day before. He has a tattoo that resembles the amulet. She looks through Hayden’s yearbook. The homeless man went to his high school. Eppsa is touched that there is a picture of a girl with a heart around her. An evil spirit creeps through her house. It closes a door. She thinks it’s Lonnie.

Lonnie PJ 10: Lonnie manifests at her house, scaring her. He sees the amulet. He’s never seen anything like it. Eppsa tells him it’s an amulet Hayden had for protection and it’s also a tattoo on one of the victims.

Eppsa PJ 18: Eppsa attends the funeral of the woman she saw hanging. She realizes it’s the woman in Hayden’s yearbook with a heart around her picture. Eppsa apologizes to Lonnie.

Lonnie PJ 11: Lonnie and Eppsa talk after the funeral. She thinks there’s a link with Hayden’s high school friends. She believes the killer is after kids that attended Hayden’s school. She wants to find the killer to protect Hayden.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Eppsa must protect Hayden from the serial killer.

Hayden AJ 11: Hayden receives a key to the town. His wife, Neta, and Evren are proud of him, too.

Eppsa PJ 19: Eppsa talks to Clover trying to get answers and find Hayden before he becomes a victim of the serial killer. She also wants to speak to her dead husband, thinking he might be able to help her find Hayden since they were close. An evil spirit interrupts and shatters her crystal ball.

Lonnie PJ 12: Lonnie is inside Eppsa’s house. He snoops through her stuff. He does something that makes Eppsa question his honesty or something.

Hayden AJ 12: Hayden kills someone in the back of the ice cream truck, while Evren is in front. Hayden shows Evren a gun and says he was protecting himself. He doesn’t want to tarnish his reputation, so they can’t tell anyone.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden is grooming Evren.

Eppsa PJ 20: She finds a Satanic book in her bedroom closet amongst her husband’s clothes which are still in there.

Hayden AJ 13: Hayden encounters a malevolent, ghostly presence at his house. It does something that reminds him of his dad.

TURNING POINT 3: Eppsa is despondent and realizes the people dying all had been part of a Satanic cult. She now believes her husband is the ghost killing everyone.

Eppsa PJ 21: Eppsa goes to church to pray. She sees a woman crying while praying. The woman takes her to her grandson’s gravesite. It is the name of the teenager who killed himself after joining the Satanic cult.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: The grandmother is a stuck spirit who is waiting for justice.

Lonnie AJ 13: Lonnie tells Eppsa to look to see if Hayden’s phone number is in the church registry.

Eppsa PJ 22: Eppsa attends the funeral of the homeless man. She goes into the church and finds Hayden’s number. She talks to the Pastor Palmer McKee. She wants him to pray for Hayden’s safety.

Hayden AJ 14: Hayden and Evren make their rounds in the ice cream truck. They park across the street from the church where Eppsa sees them.

Eppsa PJ 23: Eppsa calls and runs after Hayden and Evren, but she can’t catch up.

Lonnie PJ 14: Lonnie finally talks to Clover because he’s worried about Eppsa.

Hayden AJ 15: Hayden and his family are celebrating something around a bonfire with a group of people. Hayden escorts Evren along with the other men into the woods. Evren comes out wearing an amulet. He proudly shows it off to his mom.

Eppsa PJ 24: Eppsa texts Hayden. He says it can’t be her because she’s gone and ruined their family. She’s been dead to him a long time. He won’t respond to her texts. She cries. An evil spirit reveals himself as her husband. He’s angry, chases her, and knocks things over. She hides and falls asleep in the closet.

ACT 4: Eppsa learns she’s a ghost and was murdered by her husband. She forces Hayden to kill himself.

Eppsa PJ 25: Eppsa is so anxious about Hayden’s safety, that she materializes in front of him at his house to tell him the ghost of his dad is killing people.

Hayden AJ 16: Hayden is doing something to the ice cream truck as a surprise for Evren’s birthday in a few days. Hayden sees his mom appear. He gets angry. He throws something at her. It goes through her. A demon steps out of Hayden. The demon morphs into her husband. He threatens to take her to Hell where she belongs. The demon says Hayden had to kill the people because they betrayed Satan. She’s confused and afraid. She says something about their old house. She disappears. The demon reenters Hayden. His eyes turn black and then returns to normal. Hayden thinks she’s gone for good.

Eppsa PJ 26: Eppsa is at the cemetery with Lonnie.

Lonnie PJ 15: Lonnie takes Eppsa to her gravesite and shows her the headstone where she and her husband are buried. She realizes the nightmares were real, but she was killed and not Hayden. They both vanish.

Hayden AJ 17: Hayden goes to his old house. The house is now dilapidated. He enters and looks around. He goes to his old room. The picture is on the floor and the amulet is missing from the wall.

Eppsa PJ 27: Eppsa appears and scares Hayden. She takes a step closer to him. Her spectral form seemingly unaffected by the physical barriers.

Hayden AJ 18: To manipulate Eppsa, Hayden talks to her like he’s a kid again and begs for forgiveness. She says he can’t kill people and get away with it. He says he can do whatever he wants. He sees the amulet that he came back to get. He grabs for it. Eppsa knocks it to the floor. He says it’s his amulet that was sanctified with his friend’s sacrificial blood. He reaches for it. She creates an unseen force around the amulet; it glows and shatters. It was to bond to his evil spirit that leaves his body. Eppsa’s energy builds as she holds him in place. The floorboard safe opens. A gun emerges. Her supernatural power overrides Hayden’s resistance. His hand involuntarily takes ahold of the gun. She seems to draw energy from his fear and vulnerability and makes him shoot himself for justice. A bigger and more malevolent, red-eyed spirit escapes Hayden, swooshes through the house, and vanishes.

Resolution: Eppsa, Lonnie, and the other spirits pass over finding peace. Evren gets keys to the ice cream truck on his 16^th birthday. His fiddles with the amulet around his neck that he got with his dad at the picnic. His eye’s turn black and return to normal.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s New Outline Beats!

What I learned from doing this assignment is there were weak areas that really needed to be improved. There are a couple of areas that still aren’t the way I want them. I had to add more details to this outline to see if the other parts of the script work.

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

Concept: After a professional mourner is told by a ghost during his funeral that he was murdered by a serial killer, she tries to prove him wrong so he can pass over, only to discover that she is a ghost and is the mother of the serial killer.

Title: Grave Justice

Genre: Supernatural Thriller

ACT 1: Lonnie is checking the chemicals in the church baptismal. The lights go out. A man attacks him. Lonnie is pushed headfirst into the church baptismal, breaks his neck and drowns. The police consider it an accident.

Hayden AJ 1: Hayden kills Lonnie.

Lonnie PJ 1: Lonnie is killed by Hayden.

DEEPER LAYER: Lonnie is a couple of years older than Hayden. He was in seminary school while Hayden was finishing high school. Lonnie’s younger brother killed himself when he became possessed. Lonnie persuaded Hayden’s friends to get out of a Satanic cult and turn to Jesus, but Hayden was already possessed. Hayden kills Lonnie because he felt Lonnie betrayed him.

Eppsa PJ 1: Eppsa attends Lonnie’s funeral. She talks to Lonnie, but when he tells her he was murdered by a serial killer, she panics, realizes he’s a ghost, and runs off. Lonnie chases her. She crosses the street and looks back to see if he’s still following her. When he’s in the middle of the street, he’s about to be hit by an ice cream truck but disappears instead.

Hayden AJ 2: Hayden and his 15-year-old son sell ice cream from an ice cream truck.

Lonnie PJ 2: Lonnie tells Eppsa that since she can see him, he needs her help. He doesn’t remember his attacker, but he knows the name of the next victim. He chases her and vanishes as he’s hit by an ice cream truck driven by Hayden.

Eppsa PJ 2: Eppsa nervously talks to her neighbor for advice. The neighbor suggests talking to her clairvoyant friend, Clover.

DEEPER LAYER: Lonnie knows that Eppsa is a ghost, but Eppsa doesn’t know she’s dead.

INCITING INCIDENT: Eppsa is visiting a clairvoyant, Clover. She decides she’s too embarrassed to talk about Lonnie, so she asks Clover to help her find Hayden. Eppsa is unaware that Clover only senses her presence as a ghost. Clover can’t locate Hayden just like in the prior sessions because he’s not dead. She senses an evil spirit and wants to know if Eppsa has seen any ghosts. Eppsa says no. Clover warns her that an evil spirit is trying to attach itself to her and to be cautious. An evil spirit interrupts them by causing chaos. They are afraid. Clover falls ill, and Eppsa leaves the store, unaware of the supernatural events about to unfold.

Lonnie PJ 3: Lonnie scares Eppsa when he appears in her house. He tells her the name of the next victim before she scares him off.

Eppsa PJ 3: Eppsa is terrified when Lonnie appears in her house. She thinks he’s the evil spirit trying to attach himself to her. She throws things to scare him away.

TURNING POINT 1: Eppsa discovers the name of the next victim Lonnie gave her was real.

Eppsa PJ 4: In the obituary, Eppsa reads the name of the man Lonnie gave her.

ACT 2: Eppsa goes to the cemetery to confront Lonnie. He gives her the name of another victim.

Eppsa PJ 5: Eppsa goes to the cemetery. She is armed with things to ward off evil.

Lonnie PJ 4: Lonnie apologizes to Eppsa for scaring her. He tells her the name of the next victim. He doesn’t know the connection or the next victim.

Hayden AJ 3: Hayden watches the news and sees another death by someone trying to do a TikTok challenge. It’s becoming an epidemic.

Eppsa PJ 6: Eppsa reads the name of the victim Lonnie gave her. She calls the police. They have a bad connection, and they tell her to call back. She tries again. It’s staticky. They tell her to come in.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: The cop only hears static on the phone because she’s a ghost.

Eppsa PJ 7: Eppsa is at the police station waiting to talk to someone. The cop tells her to wait and be patient. She checks her watch because she has a funeral to attend. A cop points in her direction and motions her over. She passes by Hayden who is in a chair.

Hayden AJ 4: Hayden is at the police station to receive an award for trying to save someone. His wife and son are proud of him. At the station, Hayden shivers when Eppsa’s spirit passes him. He asks about all the recent deaths. The cops say people are dying from TikTok challenges.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden is a good liar and manipulator. People love him. He killed the person but made it look like he was trying to save them. He feels the spirit of his mother when she passes him.

Eppsa PJ 8: From across the room, Eppsa hears a cop yell to Hayden for his good work. She turns from the cop that supposedly called her over and rushes after Hayden, but he and his family are out the door. She overhears cops standing at their car say these last few deaths were because they tried dangerous TikTok challenges.

Lonnie PJ 5: Lonnie appears outside the police station. He watches Eppsa run out. He goes over to her to tell her there’s going to be another victim, but Eppsa is afraid of him and tells him to leave her alone and she’s going to be late for a funeral.

Hayden AJ 5: Hayden volunteers at a homeless shelter. He passes out ice cream to everyone there. He sees an old high school friend who lives at the shelter. Hayden tells him they should get together next week.

Lonnie PJ 6: Lonnie summons a bored little girl from a funeral to come over to him. He wants her to pass a message on to Eppsa. The next victim is a church member.

Eppsa PJ 9: Eppsa is late to a funeral. A little girl from the funeral comes up to her before she’s at the gravesite to tell Eppsa what Lonnie told her. (I don’t know if the little girl is alive and can see ghosts or if she’s a ghost, too.) Eppsa rushes into the church to find the address of the church member on the computer to check on them. Pastor Palmer McKee catches her in the office. She apologizes and leaves.

Hayden AJ 6: Hayden and Evren sell ice cream in a ritzy neighborhood. He plays classical music for the parents but jokes around with the kids, making him respectful yet fun to everyone.

Eppsa PJ 10: Eppsa walks up to the front door and knocks. No answer. It’s locked. She goes around back. The door is unlocked. She goes inside and sees the woman dangling. The woman’s husband enters the front door, walks into the kitchen to find his dangling wife. Eppsa runs.

Hayden AJ 7: Hayden throws Evren an early birthday party. One of the kids’ parents was Hayden’s friend from school and will be another victim.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden discovers a dad of Evren’s friend was one of his high school friends who moved back to town.

TURNING POINT 2 / MIDPOINT: Eppsa talks to Clover. Eppsa thinks Lonnie is the evil spirit.

Eppsa PJ 11: Eppsa turns to Clover to see if she can help reveal the name of the serial killer. Clover can’t help her. Lonnie appears. Clover says an evil presence is in the room. Things fly. Eppsa tells Clover she’s being haunted by Lonnie’s evil spirit.

Lonnie PJ 7: Lonnie talks to Eppsa when she is with Clover. Clover can’t hear him.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: The evil spirit is Eppsa’s dead husband.

Hayden AJ 8: Hayden and Evren go to the soup kitchen in the ice cream truck.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden’s searching for his next victim.

Eppsa PJ 12: Eppsa hears a crash outside her house. She rushes to see. She calls the police. They can’t hear her on the phone. She rushes outside to help. There’s a swarm of people and a police siren in the distance. She sees the ghost of a young woman walking away from the accident. The young woman looks at Eppsa and signals her over. Eppsa is afraid. The young woman disappears. Eppsa freaks out and slams her door.

Lonnie PJ 8: Lonnie talks to a victim who wants to pass over but can’t.

Eppsa PJ 13: Eppsa’s neighbor helps calm her. An evil spirit comes after them. The neighbor flees. Eppsa hides. She hears a crash upstairs. She goes upstairs and finds a picture on the floor and an amulet hanging on the wall in Hayden’s old room.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: The ghost who is haunting Eppsa, which is her ghostly husband, wants her to find the amulet.

Hayden AJ 9: Driving in a poorly lit neighborhood in his ice cream truck, Hayden creeps along as he follows a man in a dark hoodie. The guy is nervous and acts weird. Hayden follows him around another corner. The man starts to run. Hayden calls out. It’s his old friend with whom he got reacquainted with at Evren’s party. Hayden gives him a ride home.

ACT 3: Eppsa discovers Hayden was friends with all the victims and fears he is on the list. Lonnie helps Eppsa realize she’s a ghost.

Eppsa PJ 14: Eppsa has a nightmare about her husband killing Hayden and himself. She tells her neighbor about the recurring nightmare.

Eppsa PJ 15: Eppsa meets with Clover to get rid of Lonnie. Lonnie materializes during the session. Lonnie gives Eppsa the name of the next victim. An evil entity causes havoc. Clover says it’s not Lonnie, but a different and sinister spirit.

Lonnie PJ 9: Clover senses Lonnie and realizes he’s a good spirit who just has unfinished business.

Hayden AJ 10: Hayden is at a bar with his homeless friend. They walk out of a bar and stop in a park.

Eppsa PJ 16: Eppsa encounters Hayden on the street when he’s drunk and hanging out with his homeless friend. Hayden sees Eppsa’s ghostly form. He yells at her thinking she’s a real woman who resembles his mom. He’s angry that his mom was weak and wasn’t there for him. She was the reason the family was torn apart. He passes out on the bench. It breaks Eppsa’s heart.

Eppsa PJ 17: Eppsa sees the obituary with the face of the homeless man who was with Hayden the day before. She remembers he was one of Hayden’s high school friends.

Lonnie PJ 10: Lonnie manifests at her house, scaring her. He sees the amulet. He’s never seen anything like it. Eppsa tells him it’s an amulet Hayden had for protection.

Eppsa PJ 18: Eppsa attends the funeral of the woman she saw hanging. She apologizes to Lonnie. She wants to find the killer so Lonnie can pass over.

Lonnie PJ 11: Lonnie and Eppsa talk after the funeral.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Eppsa must protect Hayden from the serial killer.

Hayden AJ 11: Hayden receives a key to the town.

Eppsa PJ 19: She talks to Clover trying to get answers and find Hayden before he becomes a victim of the serial killer. She also wants to speak to her dead husband, thinking he might be able to help her find Hayden since they were close. An evil spirit interrupts them as usual. Clover gets scratched across her face.

Lonnie PJ 12: Lonnie is inside Eppsa’s house. He writes a victim’s name on something for her to find.

Hayden AJ 12: Hayden kills someone in the back of the ice cream truck, while Evren is in front. He says he was protecting himself, but he doesn’t want to tarnish his reputation, so they can’t tell anyone.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden is grooming Evren.

Eppsa PJ 20: She finds a Satanic book in her bedroom closet amongst her husband’s clothes which are still in there.

Hayden AJ 13: Hayden encounters a malevolent, ghostly presence at his house. It does something that reminds him of his dad.

TURNING POINT 3: Eppsa is despondent and realizes the people dying all had been part of a Satanic cult. She now believes her husband is the ghost killing everyone.

Eppsa PJ 21: Eppsa goes to church to pray. She sees a woman crying while praying. The woman takes her to her grandson’s gravesite. It is the name of the teenager who killed himself after joining the Satanic cult.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: The grandmother is a stuck spirit who is waiting for justice.

Lonnie AJ 13: Lonnie tells Eppsa to look to see if Hayden’s phone number is in the church registry.

Eppsa PJ 22: Eppsa attends the funeral of the homeless man. She goes into the church and finds Hayden’s number. She talks to the Pastor Palmer McKee. She wants him to pray for Hayden.

Hayden AJ 14: Hayden and Evren make their rounds in the ice cream truck. They park across the street from the church where Eppsa sees them.

Eppsa PJ 23: Eppsa calls and runs after Hayden and Evren, but she can’t catch up. This is when she discovers she has a grandson.

Lonnie PJ 14: Lonnie finally talks to Clover because he’s worried about Eppsa.

Hayden AJ 15: Hayden and his family are celebrating something around a bonfire with a group of people. Hayden escorts Evren along with the other men into the woods. Evren comes out wearing an amulet. He proudly shows it off to his mom.

Eppsa PJ 24: Eppsa texts Hayden. He says it can’t be her because she’s gone and ruined their family. She’s been dead to him a long time. He won’t respond to her texts. She cries. An evil spirit reveals himself as her husband. He’s angry, chases her, and knocks things over. She hides and falls asleep in the closet.

ACT 4: Eppsa learns she’s a ghost and was murdered by her husband. She forces Hayden to kill himself.

Eppsa PJ 25: Eppsa is so anxious about Hayden’s safety, that she materializes in front of him at his house to tell him the ghost of his dad is killing people.

Hayden AJ 16: Hayden is doing something as a surprise for Evren’s birthday in two days. Hayden sees his mom appear. He gets angry. He throws something at her. It goes through her. A demon steps out of Hayden. The demon changes his face into her husbands’ face. He threatens to take her to Hell where she belongs. It says Hayden had to kill the people because they betrayed Satan. She’s confused and afraid. She says something about their old house. She disappears. The demon reenters Hayden. His eyes turn black and then returns to normal. Hayden thinks she’s gone for good.

Eppsa PJ 26: Eppsa is at the cemetery with Lonnie.

Lonnie PJ 15: Lonnie takes Eppsa to her gravesite and shows her the headstone where she and her husband are buried. She realizes the nightmares were real, but she was killed and not Hayden. They both vanish.

Hayden AJ 17: Hayden goes to his old house. The house is now dilapidated. He enters and looks around. He goes to his old room. The picture is on the floor and the amulet is missing.

Eppsa PJ 27: Eppsa appears and scares Hayden.

Hayden AJ 18: Hayden talks to her like he’s a kid again and begs for forgiveness. She says he can’t kill people and get away with it. He says he can do whatever he wants. He sees the amulet that he came back to get. He grabs for it. Eppsa knocks it to the floor. He says it’s his amulet that was sanctified with his friend’s sacrificial blood. He reaches for it. She creates an unseen force around the amulet; it glows and shatters. It was to bond to his evil spirit that leaves his body. Eppsa’s energy builds as she holds him in place. The floorboard safe opens. A gun emerges. Her supernatural power overrides Hayden’s resistance. His hand involuntarily takes ahold of the gun. She seems to draw energy from his fear and vulnerability and makes him shoot himself for justice. A bigger and more malevolent, red-eyed spirit escapes Hayden, swooshes through the house, and vanishes.

Resolution: Eppsa, Lonnie, and the other spirits pass over finding peace. Evren gets keys to the ice cream truck on his 16^th birthday. His fiddles with the amulet around his neck that he got with his dad at the bonfire. His eye’s turn black and return to normal.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1

What I learned from doing this assignment is combining the journeys made it easier for me to find the plot holes.

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

Concept: After a professional mourner is told by a ghost during his funeral that he was murdered by a serial killer, she tries to prove him wrong so he can pass over, only to discover that she is a ghost and is the mother of the serial killer.

Title: Grave Justice

Genre: Supernatural Thriller

ACT 1: Lonnie is checking the chemicals in the church baptismal. The lights go out. A man attacks him. Lonnie is pushed headfirst into the church baptismal, breaks his neck and drowns. The police consider it an accident.

Hayden AJ 1: Hayden kills Lonnie.

Lonnie PJ 1: Lonnie is killed by Hayden.

DEEPER LAYER: Lonnie is a couple of years older than Hayden. He was in seminary school while Hayden was finishing high school. Lonnie’s younger brother killed himself when he became possessed. Lonnie persuaded Hayden’s friends to get out of a Satanic cult and turn to Jesus, but Hayden was already possessed. Hayden kills Lonnie because he felt Lonnie betrayed him.

Eppsa PJ 1: Eppsa attends Lonnie’s funeral. She talks to Lonnie, but when he tells her he was murdered by a serial killer, she panics, realizes he’s a ghost, and runs off. Lonnie chases her. She crosses the street and looks back to see if he’s still following her. When he’s in the middle of the street, he’s about to be hit by an ice cream truck but disappears instead.

Hayden AJ 2: Hayden and his 15-year-old son sell ice cream from an ice cream truck.

Lonnie PJ 2: Lonnie tells Eppsa that since she can see him, he needs her help. He doesn’t remember his attacker, but he knows the name of the next victim. He chases her and vanishes as he’s hit by an ice cream truck driven by Hayden.

Eppsa PJ 2: Eppsa nervously talks to her neighbor for advice. The neighbor suggests talking to her clairvoyant friend.

DEEPER LAYER: Lonnie knows that Eppsa is a ghost, but Eppsa doesn’t know she’s dead.

INCITING INCIDENT: Eppsa is visiting a clairvoyant, Clover. She decides she’s too embarrassed to talk about Lonnie, so she asks Clover to help her find Hayden. Eppsa is unaware that Clover only senses her presence as a ghost. Clover can’t locate Hayden just like in the prior sessions because he’s not dead. She senses an evil spirit and wants to know if Eppsa has seen any ghosts. Eppsa says no. Clover warns her that an evil spirit is trying to attach itself to her and to be cautious. An evil spirit interrupts them by causing chaos. They are afraid. Clover falls ill, and Eppsa leaves the store, unaware of the supernatural events about to unfold.

Lonnie PJ 3: Lonnie scares Eppsa when he appears in her house. He tells her the name of the next victim before she scares him off.

Eppsa PJ 3: Eppsa is terrified when Lonnie appears in her house. She thinks he’s the evil spirit trying to attach himself to her. She throws things to scare him away.

TURNING POINT 1: Eppsa discovers the name of the next victim Lonnie gave her was real.

Eppsa PJ 4: In the obituary, Eppsa reads the name of the man Lonnie gave her.

ACT 2: Eppsa goes to the cemetery to confront Lonnie. He gives her the name of another victim.

Eppsa PJ 5: Eppsa goes to the cemetery. She is armed with things to ward off evil.

Lonnie PJ 4: Lonnie apologizes to Eppsa for scaring her. He tells her the name of the next victim. He doesn’t know the connection or the next victim.

Eppsa PJ 6: Eppsa reads the name of the victim Lonnie gave her. She calls the police. They have a bad connection, and they tell her to call back. She tries again. It’s staticky. They tell her to come in.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: The cop only hears static on the phone because she’s a ghost.

Eppsa PJ 7: Eppsa is at the police station waiting to talk to someone. The cop tells her to wait and be patient. She checks her watch because she has a funeral to attend. A cop points in her direction and motions her over. She passes by Hayden who is in a chair.

Hayden AJ 3: Hayden is at the police station to receive an award for trying to save someone. His wife and son are proud of him.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden is a good liar and manipulator. People love him. He killed the person but made it look like he was trying to save them.

Hayden AJ 4: At the station, Hayden shivers when Eppsa’s spirit passes him.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: He feels the spirit of his mother when she passes him.

Eppsa PJ 8: From across the room, Eppsa hears a cop yell to Hayden for his good work. She turns from the cop that supposedly called her over and rushes after Hayden, but he and his family are out the door. She overhears cops standing at their car say these last few deaths were because they tried dangerous TikTok challenges.

Lonnie PJ 5: Lonnie appears outside the police station. He watches Eppsa run out. He goes over to her to tell her there’s going to be another victim, but Eppsa is afraid of him and tells him to leave her alone and she’s going to be late for a funeral.

Hayden AJ 5: Hayden volunteers at a homeless shelter. He passes out ice cream to everyone there. He sees an old high school friend who lives at the shelter. Hayden tells him they will get together next week.

Lonnie PJ 6: Lonnie summons a bored little girl from a funeral to come over to him. He wants her to pass a message on to Eppsa. The next victim is a church member.

Eppsa PJ 9: Eppsa is late to a funeral. A little girl from the funeral comes up to her before she’s at the gravesite to tell Eppsa what Lonnie told her. (I don’t know if the little girl is alive and can see ghosts or if she’s a ghost, too.) Eppsa rushes into the church to find the address of the church member on the computer to check on them. Pastor Palmer McKee catches her in the office. She apologizes and leaves.

Hayden AJ 6: Hayden and Evren sell ice cream in a ritzy neighborhood. He plays classical music for the parents but jokes around with the kids, making him respectful yet fun.

Eppsa PJ 10: Eppsa walks up to the front door and knocks. No answer. It’s locked. She goes around back. The door is unlocked. She goes inside and sees the woman dangling. The woman’s husband enters the front door, walks into the kitchen to find his dangling wife. Eppsa runs.

Hayden AJ 7: Hayden throws Evren an early birthday party. One of the kids’ parents was Hayden’s friend from school and will be another victim.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden discovers a dad of Evren’s friend was one of his high school friends who moved back to town.

TURNING POINT 2 / MIDPOINT: Eppsa talks to Clover.

Eppsa PJ 11: Eppsa turns to Clover to see if she can help reveal the name of the serial killer. Clover can’t help her. Lonnie appears. Clover says there’s an evil presence. Things fly. Eppsa tells Clover she’s being haunted by Lonnie’s evil spirit.

Lonnie PJ 7: Lonnie talks to Eppsa when she is with Clover. Clover can’t hear him.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: The evil spirit is Eppsa’s dead husband.

Hayden AJ 8: Hayden and Evren go to the soup kitchen in the ice cream truck.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden’s searching for his next victim.

Eppsa PJ 12: Eppsa hears a crash outside her house. She rushes to see. She calls the police. They can’t hear her on the phone. She rushes outside to help. There’s a swarm of people and a police siren in the distance. She sees the ghost of a young woman walking away from the accident. The young woman looks at Eppsa and signals her over. Eppsa is afraid. The young woman disappears. Eppsa freaks out and slams her door.

Eppsa PJ 13: Eppsa’s neighbor helps calm her. An evil spirit comes after them. The neighbor flees. Eppsa hides. She hears a crash upstairs. She goes upstairs and finds a picture on the floor and an amulet hanging on the wall in Hayden’s old room.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: The ghost who is haunting Eppsa, which is her ghostly husband, wants her to find the amulet.

Hayden AJ 9: Hayden meets with his old friend whom he got reacquainted with at Evren’s party.

ACT 3: Eppsa discovers Hayden was friends with all the victims and fears he is on the list. Lonnie helps Eppsa realize she’s a ghost.

Eppsa PJ 14: Eppsa has a nightmare about her husband killing Hayden and himself. She tells her neighbor about the recurring nightmare.

Eppsa PJ 15: Eppsa meets with Clover to get rid of Lonnie. Lonnie materializes during the session. Lonnie gives Eppsa the name of the next victim. An evil entity causes havoc. Clover says it’s not Lonnie, but a different and sinister spirit.

Lonnie PJ 8: Clover senses Lonnie and realizes he’s a good spirit who just has unfinished business.

Hayden AJ 10: Hayden is at a bar with his homeless friend. They walk out of a bar and stop in a park.

Eppsa PJ 16: Eppsa encounters Hayden on the street when he’s drunk and hanging out with his homeless friend. Hayden sees Eppsa’s ghostly form. He yells at her thinking she’s a real woman who resembles his mom. He’s angry that his mom was weak and wasn’t there for him. She was the reason the family was torn apart. He passes out on the bench. It breaks Eppsa’s heart.

Eppsa PJ 17: Eppsa sees the obituary with the face of the homeless man who was with Hayden the day before. She remembers he was one of Hayden’s high school friends.

Lonnie PJ 9: Lonnie manifests at her house, scaring her. He sees the amulet. He’s never seen anything like it. Eppsa tells him it’s an amulet Hayden had for protection.

Eppsa PJ 18: Eppsa attends the funeral of the woman she saw hanging. She apologizes to Lonnie. She wants to find the killer so Lonnie can pass over.

Lonnie PJ 10: Lonnie and Eppsa talk after the funeral.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Eppsa must protect Hayden from the serial killer.

Hayden AJ 11: Hayden receives the key to the city.

Eppsa PJ 19: She talks to Clover trying to get answers and find Hayden before he becomes a victim of the serial killer. She also wants to speak to her dead husband, thinking he might be able to help her find Hayden since they were close.

Lonnie PJ 11: Lonnie wants to go to the other side. He’s pulled back and forth. He’s tired.

Hayden AJ 12: Hayden kills someone in the back of the ice cream truck, while Evren is in front. He says he was protecting himself, but he doesn’t want to tarnish his reputation, so they can’t tell anyone.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden is grooming Evren.

Eppsa PJ 20: She finds a Satanic book in her bedroom closet amongst her husband’s clothes which are still in there.

TURNING POINT 3: Eppsa is despondent.

Eppsa PJ 21: Eppsa goes to church to pray. She sees a woman cry while praying. The woman takes her to her grandson’s gravesite. It is the name of the teenager who killed himself after joining the Satanic cult.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: The grandmother is a stuck spirit who is waiting for justice.

Lonnie AJ 12: Lonnie tells Eppsa to look to see if Hayden’s phone number is in the church registry.

Eppsa PJ 22: Eppsa attends the funeral of the homeless man. She goes into the church and finds Hayden’s number. She talks to the Pastor Palmer McKee. She wants him to pray for Hayden.

Hayden AJ 13: Hayden and Evren make their rounds in the ice cream truck. They park across the street from the church where Eppsa sees them.

Eppsa PJ 23: Eppsa calls and runs after Hayden and Evren, but she can’t catch up. This is when she discovers she has a grandson.

Lonnie PJ 13: Lonnie finally talks to Clover because he’s worried about Eppsa.

Hayden AJ 14: Hayden is at a picnic with his family. He steps away with Evren. Evren is wearing an amulet. He proudly shows it off to his mom.

Eppsa PJ 24: Eppsa texts Hayden. He says it can’t be her because she’s gone and ruined their family. She’s been dead to him a long time. He won’t respond to her texts. She cries. An evil spirit reveals himself as her husband. He’s angry, chases her, and knocks things over. She hides and falls asleep in the closet.

ACT 4: Eppsa learns she’s a ghost and was murdered by her husband. She forces Hayden to kill himself.

Eppsa PJ 25: Eppsa is so anxious about Hayden’s safety, that she appears in front of him at his house to tell him the ghost of his dad is killing people.

Hayden AJ 15: Hayden is doing something as a surprise for Evren’s birthday in two days. Hayden sees his mom appear. He gets angry. He throws something at her. It goes through her. A demon steps out of Hayden. The demon changes his face into her husbands’ face. He threatens to take her to Hell where she belongs. It says Hayden had to kill the people because they betrayed Satan. She’s confused and afraid. She says something about their old house. She disappears. The demon reenters Hayden. His eyes turn black and then returns to normal. Hayden thinks she’s gone for good.

Eppsa PJ 26: Eppsa is at the cemetery with Lonnie.

Lonnie PJ 14: Lonnie takes Eppsa to her gravesite and shows her the headstone where she and her husband are buried. She realizes the nightmares were real, but she was killed and not Hayden. They both vanish.

Hayden AJ 16: Hayden goes to his old house. The house is now dilapidated. He enters and looks around. He goes to his old room. The picture is on the floor and the amulet is missing.

Eppsa PJ 27: Eppsa appears and scares Hayden.

Hayden AJ 17: Hayden talks to her like he’s a kid again and begs for forgiveness. She says he can’t kill people and get away with it. He says he can do whatever he wants. He sees the amulet that he came back to get. He grabs for it. Eppsa knocks it to the floor. He says it’s his amulet that was sanctified with his friend’s sacrificial blood. He reaches for it. She does something to crush it. She makes him kill himself for justice. A dark spirit escapes Hayden, swooshes through the house, and vanishes.

Resolution: Eppsa, Lonnie, and the other spirits pass over finding peace. Evren gets keys to the ice cream truck on his 16^th birthday. His eye’s turn black and return to normal.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Deeper Layer!

What I learned from doing this assignment is that a great story has layers. I have built in a lot of layers already. I am still playing with some more layering ideas.

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

Concept: After a professional mourner is told by a ghost during his funeral that he was murdered by a serial killer, she tries to prove him wrong so he can pass over, only to discover that she is a ghost and is the mother of the serial killer.

Title: Grave Justice

Surface Layer: Eppsa is looking for her son and is trying to stop a serial killer.

Surface Layer: Eppsa is looking for her son, Hayden, and is trying to find a serial killer so Lonnie can pass over.

Deeper Layer: Eppsa was a victim of a murder-suicide by her husband and now she’s a ghost. She only talks to ghosts or Clover, who is a clairvoyant, throughout the movie. Hayden is possessed by a demon and is a serial killer. Eppsa needs to stop Hayden so she and Lonnie can pass over.

Major Reveal: In the Climax, she discovers she’s a ghost, and her son is the serial killer.

Influences Surface Story: Lonnie knows she is a ghost from the beginning of the story. He tells her that since she can see him, she is the only one who can help him.

Hints: Eppsa talks to ghosts, but she doesn’t know they are ghosts except for Lonnie. There might be young girl in the cemetery who can either see ghosts or she is a ghost. The police and Hayden only hear static on the phone.

Changes Reality: When we discover Eppsa is a ghost, she realizes she can’t pass over until she finds her son and kills him to stop him.

3. Add the rest of the structure to the characters to the script. Try to get to the point as we’ve done in the Iron Man example above.

Beginning: Eppsa, a professional mourner, attends a funeral and encounters Lonnie, a ghost seeking help.

Inciting Incident: Eppsa is visiting a clairvoyant, Clover, to help her find Hayden. Eppsa is unaware that Clover only senses her presence as a ghost. Clover can’t locate Hayden just like in the prior sessions because he’s not dead. Eppsa gets emotional but an evil spirit interrupts their session and causes chaos. They are afraid. Clover falls ill, and Eppsa leaves the store, unaware of the supernatural events about to unfold.

Turning Point 1: Eppsa discovers the name of the next victim in the obituary. She’s confused because he died by suicide or from performing a TikTok challenge.

Act 2: Eppsa goes to the cemetery to confront Lonnie. He gives her the next victim’s name which, again, appears in the obituary. She decides to go to the police.

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Eppsa encounters her husband’s ghost, triggering her memories and revealing the truth about her death. She thinks it was a horrific dream.

Act 3: She tries to warn someone to prevent them from being murdered. She finds them dead on their kitchen floor.

Turning Point 3: Eppsa calls and text Hayden to warn him that he might be a victim. Hayden says she’s dead to him.

Act 4 Climax: Eppsa appears in front of Hayden to warn him he’s in danger. She discovers he’s demonically possessed. The demon leaves Hayden’s body. He manifests into her deceased husband and threatens her. She vanishes. Eppsa appears when Hayden returns to their old, dilapidate house. She makes him kill himself.

Resolution: Eppsa, along with Lonnie and other restless spirits, pass over. Evren, now possessed by the demon, exhibits signs of darkness, setting up a potential sequel. His mom, Neta, gives him the keys to the ice cream truck on the morning of his 16^th birthday.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Character Structure

What I learned from doing this assignment is I needed to restructure my script. Now the characters have stronger structure and better arcs.

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

Concept: After a professional mourner is told by a ghost during his funeral that he was murdered by a serial killer, she tries to prove him wrong so he can pass over, only to discover that she is a ghost and is the mother of the serial killer.

Title: Grave Justice

Genre: Thriller

Protagonist Character Journey: Eppsa Kestner

Beginning: Eppsa is confronted by the ghost of Lonnie while she attends his funeral. When she realizes he’s a ghost, she’s afraid and runs off.

Inciting Incident: Eppsa is visiting a clairvoyant, Clover, to help her find her son, Hayden. Eppsa is unaware that only Clover can talk to her because she’s a ghost. Clover can’t locate Hayden just like in the prior sessions because he’s not dead. Lonnie appears and tells Epps the name of a victim. Eppsa gets emotional but an evil spirit interrupts their session and causes chaos. Clover rushes away because she feels sick, and Eppsa leaves the store.

Turning Point 1: The name of the victim Lonnie gave her is in an obituary.

Act 2: Eppsa calls the police to try to report the murder of Lonnie and possibly the second victim that Lonnie named. The cops keep hanging up on her. The cops on TV say the people committing suicide are just copying TikTok videos. She sees Hayden in the police station and chases after him.

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Eppsa has a nightmare about being killed by her husband.

Act 3: She tries to help a potential victim. Now, she fears Hayden is next.

Turning Point 3: She confronts Hayden at his house to tell him his dad’s ghost has been making people kill themselves and he’s in danger.

Act 4 Climax: Eppsa discovers Hayden is the serial killer and she is a ghost. In the end, she makes him kill himself.

Resolution: After Hayden kills himself, Eppsa and Lonnie pass over.

Protagonist Character Journey: Lonnie Dowic

Beginning: Lonnie is killed and becomes a ghost who can’t pass over until his killer is brought to justice.

Inciting Incident: He chases Eppsa to get her to help him. He’s hit by an ice cream truck, driven by Hayden, and he disappears.

Turning Point 1: Lonnie interrupts Eppsa’s session with Clover to ask her to help him find his killer and tells her the next victims’ name. He’s so weak that Clover can’t see or hear him.

Act 2: Lonnie talks to Eppsa. She wants to help him but doesn’t know how. He tells her to go to the police because he can’t talk to people in the world.

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Lonnie sneaks around Eppsa’s house. She catches him and scares him off.

Act 3: Lonnie manifests in Clover’s room while she’s helping a client. He asks for help. He wants to know if she knows the serial killer.

Turning Point 3: Lonnie meets another victim in the cemetery who was just murdered. There are several other victims standing with Lonnie.

Act 4 Climax: Lonnie finds Hayden’s cell number and gives it to Eppsa. Then, he is chased by an evil spirit who tries to pull him into another realm. Lonnie escapes.

Resolution: He, Eppsa, and the other victims pass over.

Antagonist Character Journey: Hayden Kestner

Beginning: Hayden kills several high school friends who he feels betrayed him.

Inciting Incident: While Hayden is driving his ice cream truck, he unknowingly runs over the ghost of Lonnie.

Turning Point 1:

Act 2: Hayden senses Eppsa in the station.

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Hayden is volunteering at a soup kitchen. Afterwards, he and an old, homeless friend from high school leave to have drinks. He sees Eppsa and scares her away. The audience doesn’t know it, but he kills his old friend.

Act 3: Evren, Hayden’s son, witnesses Hayden kill someone. Hayden explains why it’s okay to kill if it’s self-defense.

Turning Point 3: Hayden takes Evren to a Satanic cult meeting. Later, while Evren takes money from a customer, Hayden grabs an ice cream that is stored next to a dead body in the freezer of his ice cream truck. Then, Hayden gets a text from Eppsa. He freaks out.

Act 4 Climax: He comes face to face with Eppsa. She makes him kill himself. Probably with an old gun of his dad’s which had been hidden in a floor safe.

Resolution: He is dead and the evil spirit that lived inside him jumped into Evren to carry on the horror.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Supporting Characters

My Vision: My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is adding purpose and depth to the supporting characters helps move the story forward in a meaningful way.

Supporting Characters: Clover, Neta Kestner, Evren Kestner and Palmer McKee

Background Characters: Cops, doctors/nurses, the ministers, and people mourning at funerals, ghosts in the cemetery, kids/ice cream patrons, Hayden’s victims

Support 1:

Name: Clover

Role: Psychic

Main purpose: To get Eppsa to realize she’s a ghost and help her pass over.

Value: Clover’s the only living person who talks to Eppsa. Eppsa thinks Clover can help her find Hayden and let her talk to her husband to end her grief. Clover tries to advise Eppsa regarding Hayden and guide her to the truth.

Support 2:

Name: Neta Kestner

Role: Hayden’s Wife

Main purpose: To show Hayden’s not the man he portrays to everyone else because he’s abusive.

Value: She is Hayden’s calming voice when he gets angry. In the 3rd Act when Neta believes Hayden is a serial killer, he confesses to her and explains that it will continue to run in the family. Now, she must protect their son, Evren.

Support 3:

Name: Evren Kestner

Role: Hayden’s son

Main purpose: To show his bond with his son like the bond he had with his dad.

Value: He makes Hayden look like a loving man. He will become possessed by the demon who dwells in his dad and will become a future serial killer.

Support 4:

Name: Palmer McKee

Role: Pastor

Main purpose: He was a pastor at the church. Now, he is a ghost, but Eppsa doesn’t know it.

Value: He was possibly killed by Hayden’s dad and hasn’t passed over. He tries to help counsel Eppsa because she is depressed and sees dead people.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Character Profiles Part 2

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

Protagonist: Eppsa Kestner

The High Concept: Eppsa is a ghost who must find and stop a serial killer, only to discover the serial killer is her son.

This character’s journey: Eppsa, who doesn’t know she is a ghost, goes from depressed and mourning to having the courage to hunt down a serial killer. In the end, she learns she is a ghost, her son is the serial killer, and she kills Hayden for justice.

The Actor Attractors for this character: Eppsa is a ghost but doesn’t know it. She goes from depressed, to anxious and determined, to angry. Eppsa doesn’t realize that when she gets mad, things around her move. Eppsa discovers her son is a serial killer, and she kills him for justice.

Role in the Story: Eppsa is determined to save her son from a serial killer. When she discovers he’s the serial killer, she kills him for the justice of his victims.

Age range and Description: Eppsa (40), a desperate woman who wears a lot of black.

Core Traits: A Ghost – Moody, Afraid, In Denial, Courageous

Motivation:

Wants: To find and save her son.

Needs: To kill him.

Wound: She was traumatized by her own death and doesn’t remember that she was murdered by her serial killer husband.

Likability: Eppsa is helpful and caring.

Relatability: She loves her family more than herself.

Empathy: She is a widow and is still looking for her son who ran away years ago.

Character Subtext:

Subtext Identity: Eppsa is afraid to remember she was killed by her husband and that her son didn’t run away, he moved on and is living his life.

Subtext Traits: Loving, Afraid, Angry, In Denial

Subtext Logline: Eppsa is tracking down a serial killer who ends up being her son.

Possible Areas of Subtext: She subconsciously knows she was murdered by her husband but is afraid to remember. She is apprehensive about talking to Lonnie since he’s a ghost. She wants to help Lonnie find his killer so he can pass over. She is worried her son will get murdered since his school friends are being targeted. She still grieves for her husband. She grieves for her missing son. She feels compelled to find the serial killer to help save them from being murdered.

Character Intrigue:

Unspoken Wound: She was traumatized by her own death and doesn’t remember that she was killed by her demon possessed husband.

Secret Identity: She is a ghost but doesn’t know it.

Eppsa is curious about ghosts and what’s it like on the other side. She is compelled to help Lonnie. She doesn’t like death. Life is to be cherished. She wonders why people don’t listen to her. She kills Hayden by making it look like he committed suicide in his old house where his father killed his mother.

Flaw: Self-deprecating.

Values: She loves her family.

Character Dilemma: She wants to believe her son is good but knows he is a serial killer.

Antagonist: Hayden Kestner

The High Concept: Hyden is a serial killer and doesn’t know he is being hunted by his ghostly mom.

This character’s journey: Hayden is a serial killer who drives an ice cream truck looking for his victims. He is killed by his mom who is a ghost.

The Actor Attractors for this character: Hayden dotes on his son and enjoys being the ice cream man. His greatest joy comes from killing his old high school friends. He will be killed by his ghostly mother.

Role in the Story: Hayden is an ice cream man who loves his son. He kills his old high school friends who betrayed him. He is being hunted by his ghost mother who will kill him in the end.

Age range and Description: Hayden (35) cheerful ice cream to his young, customers, but deep down lurks the demon inside him.

Core Traits: Serial Killer – Charming, Intellectual, Persuasive, Sadistic

Motivation:

Wants: To be a good role model for his son.

Needs: To kill his old classmates.

Wound: His dad killed his mother.

Likability: He loves his son. Hayden is great with children.

Relatability: Hayden loves making children happy.

Empathy: His parents died.

Character Subtext:

Subtext Identity: A demon possessed serial killer.

Subtext Traits: Charming, Intellectual, Persuasive, Sadistic

Subtext Logline: Hayden is murdering his old friends who betrayed him.

Possible Areas of Subtext: Hayden is a charming ice cream man. He helps at a homeless shelter to make himself look good but finds one of his future victims. He uses his ice cream truck to store and transport bodies (easy to get into neighborhoods without drawing attention like a burglar). He kills a food truck inspector who discovers a body. Hayden makes his victims look like they committed suicide.

Character Intrigue:

Hidden agendas: To kill his friends who turned from Satanism after one of their friends became possessed and killed himself and tried to convert him to Christianity.

Secret Identity: He’s a serial killer.

His son adores him, and the staff at the homeless shelter gives him an award. He uses the ice cream truck as a cover to drive through neighborhoods without suspicion. He’s murdered 4 friends and has 5 more to kill.

Flaw: Vindictive

Values: Family, Power, Loyalty

Character Dilemma: Cast out the demon inside him and stop killing or get vengeance. When he fights against his ghostly mom, he finally remembers feeling motherly love which forbidden as a teen by his dad.

Triangle: Lonnie Dowic

The High Concept: Lonnie, who is a ghost, manipulates another ghost into finding and stopping her demon possessed, serial killer son so they can pass over.

This character’s journey: Lonnie dies at the hands of Hayden. He helps Eppsa find Hayden and convinces her to kill him.

The Actor Attractors for this character: Lonnie is a ghost and knows that Eppsa is a ghost. He must find a way to manipulate Eppsa to kill her son.

Role in the Story: He’s ghost who helps another ghost find and kill her demon possessed, serial killer son.

Age range and Description: Lonnie (40) is a down to earth, jovial pastor.

Core Traits: (Pastor) A Ghost – Witty, Moralistic, Hopeful, Sneaky

Motivation:

Wants: To pass over.

Needs: To convince Eppsa to kill Hayden so he and Eppsa can pass over.

Wound: His teenage brother committed suicide after getting into a Satanic cult.

Likability: He’s a minister.

Relatability: Even though he’s a ghost, he still wants to help people.

Empathy: He was murdered.

Character Subtext:

Subtext Identity: Lonnie must stop Hayden from killing so he can pass over.

Subtext Traits: Witty, Moralistic, Hopeful, Sneaky

Subtext Logline: Lonnie is a serial killer victim who must convince the serial killers ghostly mom to find and stop him.

Possible Areas of Subtext: Lonnie was a preacher. Lonnie lightens the mood around Eppsa to keep her from being depressed. He manipulates Eppsa into finding and killing Hayden.

Character Intrigue:

Hidden agenda: He must help Eppsa stop Hayden before revealing to her she’s a ghost.

Secrets: When Lonnie discovers Hayden is the serial killer, he can’t reveal it to Eppsa because it could traumatize her, and she would never be able to pass over.

Lonnie can’t see into the future, so he tells Eppsa the name of each person Hayden will murder as soon as he learns who Hayden is going to kill. Lonnie is only able to know the next victim when Hayden decides.

Flaw: Manipulative

Values: God and High moral standards

Character Dilemma: Go against God’s will and have Eppsa kill Hayden.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Character Profiles Part 1

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

Protagonist: Eppsa Kestner

The High Concept: Eppsa is a ghost who must find and stop a serial killer, only to discover the serial killer is her son.

This character’s journey: Eppsa, who doesn’t know she is a ghost, goes from depressed and mourning to having the courage to hunt down a serial killer. In the end, she learns she is a ghost, her son is the serial killer, and she kills Hayden for justice.

The Actor Attractors for this character: Eppsa is a ghost but doesn’t know it. She goes from depressed and anxious to being determined. Eppsa doesn’t realize that when she gets emotional, things around her move. Eppsa discovers her son is a serial killer and she must kill him for justice.

Role in the Story: Eppsa wants to help Lonnie pass over. When she learns her son might be in the sights of a serial killer, she is determined to protect him. When she discovers he is the serial killer, she kills him for the justice.

Age range and Description: Eppsa (40), a desperate woman who wears a lot of black.

Core Traits: A Ghost – Moody, Afraid, In Denial, Courageous

Motivation:

Wants: To find and save her son.

Needs: To protect her son’s victims.

Wound: She was traumatized by her own death and doesn’t remember that she was murdered by her serial killer husband.

Likability: Eppsa is helpful and caring.

Relatability: She loves her family more than herself.

Empathy: She is a widow and is still looking for her son who ran away years ago.

Antagonist: Hayden Kestner

The High Concept: Hyden is a serial killer who doesn’t know he is being hunted by the ghost of his mom.

This character’s journey: Hayden is a serial killer who drives an ice cream truck looking for his victims. He is killed by his mom who is a ghost.

The Actor Attractors for this character: Hayden dotes on his son and enjoys being the ice cream man. His greatest joy comes from killing his old high school friends. He will be killed by his ghostly mother.

Role in the Story: Hayden is an ice cream man who loves his son. He kills his old high school friends who betrayed him. He is being hunted by his ghost mother who will kill him in the end.

Age range and Description: Hayden (30) cheerful ice cream to his young, customers, but deep down lurks the demon inside him.

Core Traits: Serial Killer – Charming, Intellectual, Persuasive, Sadistic

Motivation:

Wants: To be a good role model for his son.

Needs: To kill his old classmates.

Wound: His dad killed his mother.

Likability: He loves his son. Hayden is great with children.

Relatability: Hayden loves making children happy.

Empathy: His parents died.

Triangle: Lonnie Dowic

The High Concept: Lonnie, one of Hayden’s victims, manipulates Eppsa into finding and stopping Hayden from killing anyone else so they can pass over.

This character’s journey: Lonnie dies at the hands of Hayden. He helps Eppsa find and stop Hayden by having Eppsa kill him.

The Actor Attractors for this character: Lonnie is a ghost. He is funny and must find a way to manipulate Eppsa into killing her son.

Role in the Story: He is a ghost who convinces Eppsa to find and kill her son.

Age range and Description: Lonnie (35) is a down to earth, jovial pastor.

Core Traits: (Former Pastor) A Ghost – Witty, Moralistic, Compassionate, Sneaky

Motivation:

Wants: To pass over.

Needs: To convince Eppsa to kill Hayden.

Wound: His brother committed suicide after getting into a Satanic cult.

Likability: He’s a pastor.

Relatability: Even though he’s a ghost, he still wants to help people.

Empathy: He was murdered.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Likability/Relatability/Empathy

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is the audience needs to find ways to like and relate with the characters, even if they are evil.

Protagonist: Eppsa Kestner

Likability: Eppsa is helpful and caring. She wants to help Lonnie pass over and protect her son and others from possibly becoming victims of the serial killer.

Relatability: She loves her family.

Empathy: She is a widow and is still looking for her son who ran away years ago.

Antagonist: Hayden Kestner

Likability: He loves his son.

Relatability: Hayden likes to see happy children.

Empathy: His dad died.

Protagonist: Lonnie Dowic

Likability: He’s a pastor.

Relatability: Even though he’s a ghost, he still wants to help people.

Empathy: He was murdered.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Character Intrigue

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year and sells them to producers who are eager to make my vision a reality by bringing my scripts to completion so everyone can watch my movies on the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is I keep discovered new things about my characters.

Character Name: Eppsa Kestner

Role: Protagonist

Unspoken Wound: She was traumatized by her own death and doesn’t remember that she was killed by her demonic, serial killer husband.

Secret Identity: She is a ghost but doesn’t know it.

Eppsa is curious about ghosts. She is compelled to help Lonnie. Hearing about a suicide brings her to tears or makes her mad because life is to be cherished. She wonders why people don’t take her seriously when she talks to them. She kills Hayden by making it look like he committed suicide.

Character Name: Hayden Kestner

Role: Antagonist

Hidden agendas: He was in a Satanic cult with some friends from high school, but when they turned against him to follow Jesus, the demon inside Hayden wants revenge.

Secret Identity: He’s a serial killer.

He is son adores him and the staff at the homeless shelter give him an award for his help. He uses the ice cream truck as a guise to drive through neighborhoods without suspicion. He’s murdered 4 friends since high school and has 5 more to kill.

Character Name: Lonnie Dowic

Role: Protagonist

Hidden agenda: He must help Eppsa stop Hayden before revealing to her she’s a ghost.

Secrets: Lonnie needs to get her to discover the truth about Hayden’s identity so she can stop him, and both can pass over.

Lonnie was the older brother of one of Hayden’s high school friends who killed himself after a Satanic ritual. He helped the other friends realize Satan worshipping is dangerous and discovered that Hayden was possessed. Lonnie tells Eppsa the name of each person Hayden is going to murder as soon as he learns himself. He can’t see into the future who Hayden is going to kill. Lonnie is only figures out the next victim’s name whenever Hayden decides who he’s going to kill.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Subtext Characters

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year and sells them to producers who are eager to make my vision a reality by bringing my scripts to completion so everyone can watch my movies on the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is that using subtext creates depth to the characters and makes them more intriguing.

Movie Title: The Call

Character Name: Jordan

Subtext Identity: A 911 operator who gets someone killed.

Subtext Trait: Afraid, Intelligent, Clever, Confident

Subtext Logline: Jordan is a 911 operator who must find the courage to help a second teen victim survive a kidnapping until the cops can track her down.

Possible Areas of Subtext: Only teaches because she’s afraid of getting another 911 caller hurt or killed. A trainee fumbles a kidnapping call and Jordan must step in to help. Jordan doesn’t show fear even though she’s terrified. She thinks of ways the teen can help identify the car and the locations they travel. Jordan uses techniques to distract and keep the teen calm at the most stressful times.

Character Name: Eppsa Kestner

Subtext Identity: Eppsa is afraid to remember she was killed by her serial killer husband and that her son was following in his father’s footsteps.

Subtext Traits: Loving, Moody, Afraid, In Denial

Subtext Logline: Eppsa is tracking down a serial killer who ends up being her son.

Possible Areas of Subtext: She is apprehensive regarding speaking to and helping Lonnie. She wants to help Lonnie find his killer. She is afraid her son will get murdered. She still grieves for her husband. She grieves for her son. She feels compelled to find the serial killer to help save people from being murdered.

Character Name: Hayden Kestner

Subtext Identity: A serial killer who takes after his dad.

Subtext Traits: Charming, Intellectual, Persuasive, Sadistic

Subtext Logline: Hayden is murdering his old friends who betrayed him in high school.

Possible Areas of Subtext: Hayden is a charming ice cream man, and he helps at a homeless shelter. He uses his ice cream truck to store and transport bodies (easy to get into neighborhoods without drawing attention like a burglar). He kills a food truck inspector who discovers a body. Hayden makes his victims look like they committed suicide.

Character Name: Lonnie Dowic

Subtext Identity: Lonnie must stop Hayden from killing so he can pass over.

Subtext Traits: Witty, Moralistic, Fearful, Sneaky

Subtext Logline: Lonnie, one of Hayden’s victims, manipulates Eppsa so she can find and stop Hayden from killing anyone else.

Possible Areas of Subtext: Lonnie terrified when he dies. He tries to lighten the mood around Eppsa to keep her from being depressed. As a teen, he changed the minds of Hayden’s friends who were involved in a Satanic cult. He manipulates Eppsa into finding and killing Hayden.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Actor Attractors!

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year and sells them to producers who are eager to make my vision a reality by bringing my scripts to completion so everyone can watch my movies on the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is a Dramatic Triangle works better for this script.

Concept: While at a funeral, a professional mourner is haunted by a ghost who claims a serial killer murdered him, but when he won’t leave her alone, she decides to prove him wrong so he can pass over, only to discover she is a ghost and is the mother of the killer.

Title: Justice from the Grave

Lead Character Name: Eppsa Kestner

Role: Protagonist

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it? Eppsa is depressed because her husband died, and her son ran away. She deals with it by being a professional mourner. In the end, she finds out she is a ghost who was murdered by her serial killer husband. Also, the serial killer she is currently tracking down is her son, Hayden.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story? The people she talks to are ghosts, but she doesn’t know they are ghosts. She is determined to find the serial killer and to save him from becoming a victim.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script? Eppsa is a professional mourner. She thinks she’s talking to people, but they can’t see or interact with her. Some people can sense her and sometimes she is like a breeze and knocks things over. She goes to a psychic who speaks to her. The psychic knows she’s a ghost, but Eppsa is clueless. At the end, she kills her serial killer son.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor? Eppsa is talking to a psychic and something scary happens.

5. What could be this character’s emotional range? She is meek and depressed in the beginning, but then becomes determined and powerful.

6. What subtext can the actor play? She is a ghost and doesn’t know she is only interacting with ghosts. Thinking she’s alive, she meets with a psychic a few times to see if she can talk to her husband and/or find her son. She constantly tries to remember what caused her husband’s death and wants to know why her son ran away. She will remember everything by the end of the movie.

7. What are the most interesting relationships this character can have? Eppsa is drawn to Lonnie because he is helping her find the serial killer. She always seems to come close to seeing and talking to Hayden. She periodically talks to a psychic looking for answers. The psychic knows Eppsa is a ghost and tries to get her to move on.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented? She’s a grieving, motherly person. She is compassionate, but her anger grows as she comes closer to the truth that her husband killed her because he was a serial killer because he was demon possessed.

9. What could make this character special and unique? She’s a ghost but doesn’t know it. Her PTSD from being abused makes her jumpy. When she gets angry, things around her move. It confuses her. Eppsa kills her son, Hayden, for justice.

Lead Character Name: Hyden Kestner

Role: Antagonist

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it? He is a demon possessed serial killer who drives an ice cream truck.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story? The irony of being a devoted dad and an ice cream truck driver whom all the kids love, but he is abusive to his wife. He worships Satan and is a serial killer.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script? He kills his victims and makes each one look like they committed suicide or died from an accident while attempting to do a TikTok challenge.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor? He is surrounded by ice cream lovers.

5. What could be this character’s emotional range? He is kind and gentle around kids, but ultimately, he is seeking revenge on his teenage friends who stopped worshipping Satan and tried to get him to worship Jesus.

6. What subtext can the actor play? He pretends to be a loving, family guy, but he’s a serial killer who is possessed by a demon.

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have? He is loving to his son. Everyone thinks they have the perfect family. Lonnie was his best friend’s older brother. Hayden gets revenge on his old school friends.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented? He’s nice on the surface but ruthless when it comes to vengeance.

9. What could make this character special and unique? Everyone loves him. In the end, his own mom kills him.

Lead Character Name: Lonnie Dowic

Role: Protagonist

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it? Lonnie’s an angry ghost who wants to avenge his murder through Eppsa.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story? He’s manipulating Eppsa so that Hayden will get caught because if Lonnie tells her she’s a ghost, he’s afraid she might disappear or that she will never be able to rest. He doesn’t have control over his surroundings and can’t move around to different locations the way Eppsa does since she believes she’s alive. He can go wherever Eppsa goes.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script? He knows Eppsa is a ghost doesn’t tell her until the end. He learns to use his anger and frustration to move things around him. He can make the air cold.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor? He dies a horrible death.

5. What could be this character’s emotional range? He’s friendly and loves to joke around, but at times he loses his temper out of frustration. He’s angry that he was murdered, and no one seems to be able to catch his killer.

6. What subtext can the actor play? From the beginning, Lonnie knows Eppsa is a ghost, but he doesn’t tell her. He thinks he knows the serial killer is Hayden, but he can’t tell her because then she may not have the heart to confront him.

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have? Lonnie and Eppsa are ghosts. He tries to help her but the things he tries to get her to do don’t go in his favor.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented? He quotes the Bible and/or uses metaphors from the Bible.

9. What could make this character special and unique? Lonnie must find a way to get Eppsa to expose or kill her son, Hayden, even though she’s a ghost, so they can both rest in peace.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Genre Conventions

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is writing a script is easier if you start with an outline. I’m thinking of changing this script into a horror. As long it’s in an outline, it will be much easier to adjust and move around.

Title: Justice from the Grave

Concept: While at a funeral, a professional mourner is haunted by a ghost who claims he was murdered by a serial killer, but when he won’t leave her alone, she decides to prove him wrong so he can pass over, only to discover she is a ghost and is the grandmother of the killer.

Genre: Supernatural Thriller

PURPOSE: To thrill your audience with high stakes, plot twists, and suspense that never lets up until the adrenalin packed climax.

Eppsa must find and stop a serial killer with the help of a ghost he murdered.

LIFE AND DEATH SITUATIONS: They face danger at every step – either physically, emotionally, or mentally. The hero needs to either be in danger or there is the implication of future danger.

Initially, Eppsa is fearful of Lonnie, who is a ghost. She faces emotional distress, deals with ghosts, the ghost of an abusive ex-husband who haunts her, and she finds a dead body. Hayden is in a Satanic cult. The serial killer turns out to be her son, Hayden. In the end, Eppsa lures Hayden back to their old, dilapidated house where she kills him. When Hayden dies, the demon inside him jumps into his son, Evren, to continue the cycle.

MYSTERY/INTRIGUE/SUSPENSE: There’s a mystery that must be solved in order to survive. Intrigue is the underhanded and covert Villain’s plan. Suspense comes from the danger the Hero faces.

Eppsa has been searching for her son since he disappeared years ago. She has the ability to talk to a ghost who claims to have been murdered by a serial killer. People are dying from TikTok challenges, but in reality, Hayden is using the challenges to conceal he’s a serial killer.

HERO: Unknowing, unwitting, but resourceful hero.

Eppsa is a ghost who doesn’t know she was killed by her abusive husband before he killed himself. She finds ways to track down the serial killer who is her son, Hayden, for justice and redemption for the trapped souls.

VILLAIN: Dangerous, devious, and unrelenting. Committed to destroy anyone who gets in their way.

Hayden is a Satanic worshipper. He got involved through his dad as a teenager. A demon lives inside him who wants revenge on Hayden’s old friends who turned against Devil worshipping and found Jesus.

MAIN EMOTIONS: Suspense, intrigue, mystery, tension, anticipation, uncertainty, and surprise.

There are suspenseful and tense moments with the clairvoyant and murders. The mystery is trying to figure out the serial killer. The surprise is when Eppsa discovers her son, Hayden, is the serial killer and then she kills him.

Act 1:

Opening: A man attacks a pastor with a knife in front of a church. Evren tries to stop the fight and gets a bad knife wound. The man runs off.

Eppsa sees Evren with his dad, Hayden, in the news from his hospital bed. Evren’s a hero for trying to save the pastor. She goes to the hospital to reconnect with Hayden and meet her grandson, but they are gone when she gets there.

Inciting Incident: Eppsa is at a funeral. In the distance, she spots a man watching the funeral. She talks to him and finds out his name is Lonnie. He says he needs help to stop a serial killer. She wants to help him and asks if he needs his medication. He is adamant and frantically tells her the name of the serial killer’s next victim. She thinks he’s crazy, freaks out, and leaves the cemetery.

Turing Point: She reads an obituary. It’s the person Lonnie told her would die next. She goes to the police station but sees Lonnie standing outside the building. He chases her across the street. She looks back and he’s stopped in the street. He vanishes as an ice cream truck almost hits him.

Act 2:

New Plan: Find out if Lonnie is telling the truth.

Plan of Action: Uses a psychic, Clover, to get answers.

The psychic tells her to find Lonnie because he knows facts the cops missed. She tells Eppsa her husband is in the room with them. Eppsa is afraid. Things fly around the room. Eppsa and the psychic flee.

She goes to another funeral. A child of the deceased hugs Eppsa and tells her that Lonnie wants to talk to her but is afraid. The child tells Eppsa another victim’s name from Lonnie.

The obituary has another death, but it’s a suicide and not the name the child told her. The news warns everyone to stop copying a TikTok challenge because it kills people, and the trend is becoming an epidemic in the town.

She searches the internet for the name the child gave her. She finds the person’s house. The door is ajar. She enters to find her dead. Her husband enters. She runs.

Midpoint Turning Point: While waiting to talk to the cops in the police station, she sees Hayden and Evren at the police station. As she runs after them, she knocks a stack of files to the floor. She’s flustered and apologetic. The cop is angry and doesn’t want anyone to help him. She continues after Hayden, but she’s too late.

Act 3:

Rethink Everything: Help Lonnie find the serial killer.

New Plan: She goes to church to pray. She talks to an old lady crying on a pew. It’s the anniversary of her grandson who died by suicide a year ago. He was a friend in Hayden’s circle of friends.

She sees Hayden in a park near the cemetery talking to one of his childhood friends who is homeless. She goes over to them, but they are drunk and obnoxious. Hayden yells at her to go away because she reminds him of his pathetic, dead mother.

She goes to the cemetery. Lonnie says another victim will die tonight.

The name Lonnie predicted turns up in the obituaries. The cops say it’s another TikTok victim. She attends his funeral. Something is familiar about the man.

Midpoint Turning Point: The homeless man dies. She goes to the funeral home for the viewing. No one is there. Eppsa puts a list of the names together who have died. She remembers these were kids from their neighborhood. She fears Hayden will be a victim, too. She must protect Hayden and stop the serial killer herself.

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate Expression of the Conflict: Eppsa finds a news article about a wife who was killed in a murder-suicide. The husband was discovered to be a serial killer. Their teenage son was taken in by a church member.

Eppsa goes to the cemetery. Her name is on the headstone along with her husband’s. She realizes she’s dead.

She knows how to find her son and lure him back to their old house which will now be revealed as abandoned and falling apart. Somehow, she kills Hayden. The demon inside him is released and enters his son.

Resolution: After Hayden is killed, Eppsa and Lonnie pass over. Hayden’s son, Evren, looks through a box hidden behind a wall that contains a ring from one of the murder victims.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s 4-Act Transformational Structure

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is that I piece things together better when I know where I want to start and end. The rest of the pieces are arranged and rearranged until I think my outline works.

Title: Grave Justice

Genre: Thriller

Concept: While at a funeral, a professional mourner is haunted by a ghost who claims a serial killer murdered him, but when he won’t leave her alone, she decides to prove him wrong so he can pass over, only to discover she is a ghost and is the mother of the killer.

Main Conflict: Eppsa must find and stop a serial killer, only to discover she is a ghost, and the serial killer is her son.

Old Ways:

· Searches the newspaper for her son, Hayden, who ran away as a teenager.

· Uses mourning at funerals to help her cope with depression. She searches the obituaries for her son, Hayden, who ran away as a teenager.

· Allows self-pity to control her life after her husband died and her son ran away, who was a teenager.

· Timid and feels invisible.

New Ways:

· Hunts for the serial killer.

· People/ghosts go to her for help.

· She discovers she’s a ghost and is confident in doing the right thing.

· Torn that she must stop her serial killer son but knows she must, or he will keep killing. She kills for justice.

Opening: A man is murdered. Eppsa thinks it’s her son and rushes to the ER. There’s a code blue. Doctors and nurses run for a room. She sees the spirit of a man leave the room they just entered. He disappears. She flees the hospital.

Inciting Incident: While she and the other mourners surround an open grave, she notices a ghost, Lonnie, in the distance. It’s the same ghost from the hospital. He tells her a serial killer murdered him. He can’t rest until the killer is stopped and then tells her the next victim’s name.

Turning Point: She reads an obituary. The man in the obituary is the same one Lonnie told her would die.

Act 2:

Reaction: She is shocked Lonnie knew the next victim.

The Plan: She calls the police. They don’t seem to care, and they tell her to stop pranking them (it’s because they only hear static). She goes back to the cemetery to find Lonnie.

Turning Point 2: MIDPOINT: While waiting at the police station to report there is a serial killer on the loose, she overhears cops talking about a string of people dying from TikTok challenges. She sees her son at the police station. She runs after him, but he gets in a car and drives away.

Act 3:

Rethink: She talks to a counselor to get her medications changed.

Turning Point/Midpoint: Lonnie tells her another victim will die in two days. He thinks the serial killer knows his victims.

Eppsa puts a list of names together who have died. Some of them were her son’s friends in high school. She fears Hayden will be a victim, too. She needs to stop the killer before Hayden becomes a victim.

Act 4:

Climax: Eppsa does research for something. A headline about a murder-suicide catches her eye. It says, “Husband kills wife in a murder-suicide. The beloved husband was discovered to be a serial killer. Their teenage son was institutionalized because of the trauma.”

She goes to the cemetery. On the front of a headstone are the names of her and her husband with the same death date. She realizes she’s dead.

Eppsa knows where her son is located. She does something and lures him back to their old house, which is now revealed as abandoned and falling apart. Somehow, she kills Hayden to stop the killings.

In the final scene, Hayden’s wife, Neta, and son, Evren, await his arrival for his surprise birthday party. Something happens, and we find out Evren is following in Hayden’s footsteps.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Subtext Plot

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is beneath the surface by using subtext layers gives the story depth and creates intrigue.

Title: Grave Justice

Genre: Thriller

Concept: While at a funeral, a professional mourner is haunted by a ghost who claims a serial killer murdered him, but when he won’t leave her alone, she decides to prove him wrong so he can pass over, only to discover she is a ghost and is the mother of the killer.

Subtext Plot: Layering

On the Surface: Eppsa must learn the identity of the serial killer and stop the serial killer from killing again.

Beneath the Surface: Eppsa is dealing with…

· She has a hard time dealing with death, but she is drawn to funerals. She is drawn to certain funerals because of something in the obituaries.

· She believes she was put in a psych ward at a hospital, and the medications in the psych ward for depression messed with her mind.

· She’s depressed because her son ran away as a teenager or young adult shortly after her husband/his father was killed.

· Nervous that she is being haunted by a ghost.

· Frustrated because cops don’t take her seriously.

· Fearful the killer will strike again.

· She doesn’t know how she can stop the serial killer.

· Afraid to tell the cops because they might think she’s crazy or has something to do with the murders.

· Trying to figure out why or how the killer chooses his victims?

· She’s lonely because her husband died, and she misses her son.

· She searches for her son because she fears the serial killer is after him, too.

· Intrigue that her son is a serial killer.

· Learns she is a ghost. Her son killed her and her husband.

· Dilemma as to how a ghost can stop a serial killer.

· How can she stop him?

· Will she have to guts to kill him and end his killing spree?

· How can she, as a parent, get the strength to kill her son?

· She wonders why her son ran away from her.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Transformational Journey

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is having an arc for my characters will help me in making a strong journey from beginning to end for my characters.

Title: Grave Justice

Genre: Thriller

Concept: While at a funeral, a professional mourner is haunted by a ghost who claims a serial killer murdered him, but when he won’t leave her alone, she decides to prove him wrong so he can pass over, only to discover she is a ghost and is the mother of the killer.

Protagonist: Eppsa Kestner

Arc Beginning: She’s a professional mourner who doesn’t know she’s dead.<div>

Arc Ending: She knows she’s a ghost and kills her serial killer son for justice.

<div>

Internal Journey: From depressed and apprehensive to confident and dogged.

External Journey: From a professional mourner who doesn’t realize she’s a ghost to being a peaceful ghost who can pass on to the other side.

Old Ways:

· Dull, paranoid life.

· Uses mourning at funerals to help her cope with depression.

· Allows self-pity to control her life after her husband died and her son ran away, who was a teenager.

· Timid and feels invisible.

New Ways:

· Hunts for the serial killer.

· She discovers she’s a ghost and has self-confidence after learning the truth.

· Although she’s torn in stopping her serial killer son, she kills him for justice.

· She allows herself to pass on to Heaven.

</div></div>

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Intentional Lead Characters

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is the importance of building interesting and unique characters.

Title: Grave Justice

Genre: Thriller

Concept: While at a funeral, a professional mourner is haunted by a ghost who claims a serial killer murdered him, but when he won’t leave her alone, she decides to prove him wrong so he can pass over, only to discover she is a ghost and is the mother of the killer.

Protagonist:

Character: Eppsa Kestner<div>

Logline: Eppsa must find and stop a serial killer, only to discover she is a ghost and the mother of the serial killer.

Unique: She believes she is a professional mourner and doesn’t know she’s a ghost who attends funerals.

Antagonist:

Character: Hyden Kestner<div>

Logline: Hyden is a serial killer and doesn’t know he is being hunted by his mom, who is a ghost.

Unique: He’s a bitter family man who is a popular ice cream man and kills people from his past who mistreated him as a kid.

(Possible triangle character) Protagonist:

· Character: Lonnie Dowic

· Logline: Lonnie is a ghost who helps Eppsa track down Hyden so she can stop him from killing more people.

· Unique: He is a ghost who helps Eppsa stop her son so she can cross over.

</div></div>

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Title, Concept, and Character Structure!

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts yearly and then sells them to producers who create my vision for the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is I am torn between Protagonist versus Antagonist, or having a Dramatic Triangle. It’s easier to make changes to a script now while in the outline phase.

Title: Justice from the Grave

Genre: Thriller

Concept: While at a funeral, a professional mourner is haunted by a ghost who claims he was murdered by a serial killer, but when he won’t leave her alone, she decides to prove him wrong so he can pass over, only to discover she is a ghost and is the mother of the killer.

Character Structure: Protagonist versus Antagonist

[Veronica Turowski]

Hi! My name is Veronica Turowski.

I have written 5 scripts since taking Hal’s classes over the last seven years. Several scripts have gotten recommends that I am currently marketing. By doing the assignments and getting input from classmates, I hope to end up with a great script that is marketable.

I’ve been into film and photography since childhood. Something interesting…hmmm. In 2021, my husband and I spent four months on the road, driving over 24,000 miles through 31 states in our car. We shot over 350,000 photos.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski

I agree to the terms of this release form.

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by  Veronica Turowski.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Act 1 First Draft Part 1

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year and sells them to producers who are eager to make my vision a reality by bringing my scripts to completion so everyone can watch my movies on the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is that when I changed an important scene in the beginning, it changed a few other important things in my script. I still need to let go if I can’t solve a problem. Although I had to change a major element in the beginning to improve my script, it is easier to write when I have a complete outline because I know where the story is going.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s High Speed Writing Rules

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year and sells them to producers who are eager to make my vision a reality by bringing my scripts to completion so everyone can watch my movies on the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is writing quickly is possible. Just having to fill in the dialogue makes my writing go more smoothly. When I stop to solve a problem, I catch myself and let it go so I can finish.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s First Scene

What I learned from doing this assignment is writing the outline makes writing the dialogue easier. I don’t have to think about the next scene since it’s already thought out.

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year and sells them to producers who are eager to make my vision a reality by bringing my scripts to completion so everyone can watch my movies on the big screen.

How this Process Worked for Me: Having a complete outline made writing the first scene easy. I know what each scene entails and filling in the dialogue is the exciting part.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Fascinating Scene Outlines

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year and sells them to producers who are eager to make my vision a reality by bringing my scripts to completion so everyone can watch my movies on the big screen.

Concept: While at a funeral, a professional mourner is told by the deceased they were murdered, but when no one believes the mourner, she decides to find and stop the serial killer before he kills his next victim, only to discover she is a ghost and is the mother of the serial killer.

Title: Grave Justice

Genre: Supernatural Thriller

ACT 1:

EXT. CHURCH – DAY

Lonnie and a dark figure fight in the pouring rain. Lonnie is stabbed. Another dark figure rushes up, and as he grabs for the knife, his arm is slashed. The dark figure chases the perpetrator down the street.

INT. HOSPITAL ER ROOM – DAY

Eppsa, dressed in black, runs down the ER hallway. As she approaches a doctor and nurse talking, they say Hayden Kestner is a hero for trying to save his pastor. As they head to his room, there’s a code blue. The doctor sets Hayden’s chart on a cart. He and the nurse rush into a room. Eppsa looks at the chart and goes to Hayden’s room. The bed is empty.

Eppsa turns to see Lonnie walk across the hall and disappear.

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Eppsa attends Lonnie’s funeral. She reluctantly talks to him. Lonnie claims he was murdered but doesn’t know who killed him. He needs Eppsa to help find his killer. Eppsa says she can’t help him. She can’t even find her son, Hayden, who stopped talking to her because they had a fight.

Lonnie knows the next victim will be Ramone Deliz.

EXT. ICE CREAM TRUCK – DAY

Hayden and his son, Evren (16), are in Hayden’s ice cream truck in an affluent neighborhood. Evren inspects Hayden’s sutures because there is blood on the floor. It turns out a freezer malfunctioned, and cherry popsicles melted.

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Ramone appears in the cemetery. Lonnie greets him, and they disappear.

INT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

Eppsa watches the news. A teenager, Ramone, was found. He’s a victim of suicide.

ACT 2:

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Eppsa meets with Lonnie. She wants to know how he knew Ramone was going to die. Lonnie says he has a feeling it was a serial killer but doesn’t know anything else.

INT. ICE CREAM TRUCK – NIGHT

Hayden cleans a box of ice cream that has fallen and melted on the floor of his ice cream truck. The police call him to schedule a time for him to come in to do a police sketch.

INT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – BEDROOM – DAY

Eppsa irons her mourning outfits. Lonnie appears. He is desperate to have her call the police about the serial killer. He disappears. She calls the cops, but they can’t hear her and tells her to call back or come in.

INT. POLICE STATION – OFFICER MOSS’ DESK – DAY

Hayden describes the perpetrator to Officer Moss, who is making a sketch.

INT. POLICE STATION – FRONT DESK – SAME

Eppsa waits in the busy station. An officer calls her over. She walks past Hayden, who has his back to her.

INT. POLICE STATION – OFFICER MOSS’ DESK – SAME

Hayden finishes the sketch. He gets the chills as he gets up. As he walks off, Officer Moss yells he’s getting a Good Samaritan award next week.

INT. POLICE STATION – BULLPEN – SAME

Eppsa hears Officer Moss call Hayden’s name. She rushes after Hayden, but he gets in his car and drives away.

EXT. POLICE STATION – PARKING LOT – DAY

Eppsa overhears cops standing next to their cars that there’s an epidemic of people dying from suicide and copying TikTok challenges.

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Eppsa explains to Lonnie there’s no serial killer. She wants him to leave her alone and move on. He says the next victim is Finnick Ziccardi.

INT. CLOVER’S STORE – DAY

Eppsa talks to the psychic, Clover, to help Lonnie pass over. Essence: Eppsa wants Lonnie to pass over.

EXT. FISHING POND – DAY

While fishing, Evren asks Hayden if his new friend Reece Ziccardi can go hunting with them on their next trip. Hayden wants to know if his dad’s name is Finnick because they were friends in high school. Evren doesn’t know.

INT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY

Eppsa’s neighbor, Bess, stops by to tell her about her trip to Nepal and how she almost died climbing Mt. Everest, but the rescue team revived her. Bess doesn’t know she died on the mountain and can’t cross over because she is waiting for her husband to come home from a business trip.

EXT. CHURCH – SANCTUARY – DAY

At Ramone’s funeral, Lonnie talks to Clair (6), who is at her brother’s funeral. He wants her to give a message to Eppsa, who will be wearing all black and carrying a white rose. The next victim is Tavish Stark. He’s a member of the church. Lonnie disappears.

Eppsa attends Ramone’s funeral. Clair tells Eppsa what Lonnie says. She asks Clair what happened to Finnick. Clair doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Eppsa will prove Lonnie wrong, once and for all.

EXT. ROAD – DAY

Hayden and Evren look for a good spot to sell ice cream. Essence: Hayden and Evren are selling ice cream.

INT. CHURCH – LONNIE’S OFFICE – DAY

Eppsa sneaks in, looks through the church member registry, and finds Tavish’s address. Pastor Palmer McKee enters. She apologizes and runs out.

Essence: Eppsa is looking for Tavish’s address to help him. Conflict: Eppsa is caught by Pastor Palmer McKee.

INT. TAVISH’S HOUSE – DAY

A masked man makes Tavish drink something (out of an old “teacher of the year” cup) like they do in TikTok videos.

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

As Ramone’s casket is lowered, Tavish’s spirit shows up in the cemetery and looks at Lonnie. He knows Eppsa is too late.

EXT. PARK – DAY

Hayden is in the ice cream truck surrounded by children in a neighborhood park. Evren emerges from the public bathroom behind the truck and climbs inside to help customers.

EXT. TAVISH’S HOUSE – DAY

Eppsa knocks on the door. No answer. She goes around back and sees Tavish dead on the floor. Tavish’s wife enters the kitchen and screams. Eppsa runs.

INT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

Lonnie appears in front of Eppsa. She’s mad at Lonnie and wants him to stop haunting her. He was wrong about Finnick because no one named Finnick has died. Tavish was a coincidence. He’s wrong about a serial killer on the loose.

INT. HAYDEN’S HOUSE – BACKYARD – DAY

Hayden, Neta (Hayden’s wife), Evren, Finnick, and Reece have dinner. Hayden reminisces with Finnick. They have a disagreement.

INT. CLOVER’S STORE – DAY

Eppsa has Clover channel Lonnie. Lonnie wants to pass over but can’t until the killer is stopped.

INT. SOUP KITCHEN – DAY

Hayden and Evren bring ice cream to the soup kitchen. Hayden inquires where Kenji has been. He is told Kenji was hospitalized but will be released soon. The staff is grateful for Hayden and his kindness.

INT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY

Eppsa hears a scream and a crash outside her house. Bess runs up the stairs to tell Eppsa that a bicyclist was hit and she needs to call 911.

INT. POLICE STATION – DAY

Hayden receives a Good Samaritan award. Essence: Hayden is a good guy.

ACT 3:

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Eppsa attends Tavish’s funeral. Lonnie calls her over. They argue. He tells her the victims all attended Seneca high school, although some are teens, and some are adults. He can’t figure out the connection. Eppsa says that’s where her son, Hayden, attended. Now, she’s worried Hayden might become a victim, and she must find him.

INT. POLICE STATION – DAY

Hayden is questioned again to see if he can think of anything new.

INT. CHURCH – SANCTUARY – DAY

Eppsa prays in a pew. She goes over to comfort an old woman crying over the 15th anniversary of her grandson’s death. The grandmother is still convinced Monroe didn’t kill himself.

INT. SOUP KITCHEN – DAY

Hayden visits Kenji at the soup kitchen. Kenji never got over the death of his best friend, Monroe.

INT. CHURCH – SANCTUARY – DAY

Lonnie prays for guidance.

INT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY

Eppsa asks Bess for advice on getting rid of spirits that can’t pass over. Bess says maybe they can conduct a seance.

TURNING POINT 3:

INT. CLOVER’S STORE – DAY

Eppsa wants Clover to help her find Hayden. When Clover can’t find him, she wants Clover to channel her husband, Gruzby. He adored Hayden and should know where to find him. He’s probably protecting him. Clover can’t see Gruzby.

EXT. WOODS – DAY

Hayden takes Evren hunting. Hayden explains that killing is okay when protecting someone or if you need food. Reece wasn’t invited because of something.

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

After a funeral, Eppsa sees Monroe’s grandmother at his gravesite. Eppsa recognizes his Seneca letterman jacket in his faded headstone picture.

Eppsa excuses herself when she sees Lonnie. The grandmother goes back to the church to pray.

Lonnie talks to Eppsa. He says the victims are waiting to pass over. He begs her to help. She walks away.

INT. ICE CREAM TRUCK – DAY

Hayden sells ice cream. His freezer shakes and makes a horrible noise. Hayden pounds on the freezer. The noise stops.

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Lonnie meets up with Kenji.

INT. CLOVER’S STORE – DAY

Lonnie’s spirit appears in Clover’s store. He wants to know how he can help Eppsa find the killer. Once the killings stop, he can pass over.

INT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY

Eppsa has two out of three addresses with their last name, Kestner, crossed off. Lonnie shows up. Eppsa argues with him. She throws something at him to scare him off.

EXT. ICE CREAM TRUCK – DAY

In a ghetto area, a woman flags Hayden to stop. When she buys ice cream, she comments about some red liquid on the floor. He claims his cherry popsicles melted from a malfunctioning freezer. As a food truck inspector, she’s great at fixing freezers. When she tries to get inside, he is about to kill her, but her phone rings. The woman has an emergency and leaves.

INT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

Eppsa and Bess hold a seance to get rid of Lonnie and set the victims free. Eppsa thinks Lonnie is gone.

EXT. CAR WASH – NIGHT

Hayden cleans the truck floor. There’s red on the ground that was washed out of the truck. He picks up a handkerchief in the corner that Kenji had on his head. A cop comes up and wants to buy an ice cream cone. Hayden says his freezers are broken. He carefully reaches in and pulls out a soggy ice cream box. He points to the red mess on the ground. The cop leaves. Hayden throws a handkerchief in the trash.

ACT 4:

INT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY

Eppsa listens to the news. Kenji’s name in the obituary. His body was found in a dilapidated warehouse. He was stabbed multiple times but ultimately bled to death.

EXT. FINNICK’S HOUSE – DAY

Hayden and Finnick are building a fence. Finnick makes a comment about suicides in their childhood. He always thought Hayden’s dad was suspicious. They get into an argument.

Hayden admits his dad killed Monroe because he and his friends beat up Hayden daily. Hayden only killed Pastor Palmer McKee because the pastor found something that implicated his dad. Hayden admits he recently killed Monroe’s two other friends. He has only killed people who deserve it.

Hayden kills Finnick but makes it look like Finnick died by having an accident with his circular saw. Hayden flees.

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Lonnie greets Finnick. Lonnie sees Hayden speed by in his ice cream truck.

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Eppsa attends Kenji’s funeral. Lonnie meets up with Eppsa and tells her Hayden is the killer. She denies it. Lonnie wants her to go home and think of the fight she had with Hayden before he stopped talking to her. It might spark a memory.

INT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – BEDROOM – DAY

Eppsa lies in bed thinking about Hayden. She falls asleep. She dreams of the fight she had with her husband, Gruzby. She is aiming a gun at Gruzby because she discovered he killed Monroe. Hayden comes in. When Hayden grabs the gun, it goes off and kills Gruzby. Infuriated that Eppsa killed his dad, Hayden shoots Eppsa. The cops felt bad that Hayden witnessed the murder-suicide.

She wakes up to see her house is dilapidated.

INT. HAYDEN’S HOUSE – GARAGE – DAY

Hayden and Neta fight. Maybe Neta found something and believes Hayden is the murderer. Hayden wants a divorce. Neta opens her phone to call the police.

Hayden grabs a knife and is about to stab Neta when Eppsa appears. Hayden loosens his grip on Neta when he sees his mom’s spirit. Neta can’t see her.

Eppsa apologizes. Hayden freaks. Eppsa tries to get the knife out of his hand.

Evren enters and sees Hayden holding onto his mom and in a position to stab her. He rushes back inside.

Hayden struggles with Eppsa. As he’s about to stab Neta, Evren shoots Hayden.

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Eppsa is at her gravesite. She reads her headstone. Lonnie tells Eppsa that Hayden is with Gruzby in Hell.

She calls out to Bess. Eppsa and Lonnie walk Bess over to her fresh grave.

The victims come out, and they all disappear.

INT. HAYDEN’S HOUSE – EVREN’S ROOM – NIGHT

Evren looks at his list of names crossed off. Neta calls him down to dinner. He tucks the list away in a book and goes downstairs to join her.

INT. HAYDEN’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

Evren and Neta watch the news as they eat. The news says with the help of Evren; they found out Hayden was a serial killer. A cold wind blows through a window and gives Evren the chills. He looks around. A shadow appears in the hallway.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Scene Requirements

What I learned from doing this assignment is I had a lot of the setups and reveals built in, but I added more and flushed out a couple of things. I still have more to discover, and I can’t wait to see my final script.

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year and sells them to producers who are eager to make my vision a reality by bringing my scripts to completion so everyone can watch my movies on the big screen.

Concept: While at a funeral, a professional mourner is told by the deceased they were murdered, but when no one believes the mourner, she decides to find and stop the serial killer before he kills his next victim, only to discover she is a ghost and is the mother of the serial killer.

Title: Grave Justice

Genre: Supernatural Thriller

ACT 1:

EXT. CHURCH – DAY

Lonnie and a dark figure fight in the pouring rain. Lonnie is stabbed. Another dark figure rushes up, and as he grabs for the knife, his arm is slashed. The dark figure chases the perpetrator down the street.

Essence: Lonnie is attacked.

Conflict: Knife fight.

Subtext: Lonnie knows something and was attacked for it.

Hope/Fear: We hope Lonnie escapes. We fear he gets killed.

Scene Arc: Lonnie is attacked to the attacker gets away.

INT. HOSPITAL ER ROOM – DAY

Eppsa, dressed in black, runs down the ER hallway. As she approaches a doctor and nurse talking, they say Hayden Kestner is a hero by trying to save his pastor. As they head to his room, there’s a code blue. The doctor sets Hayden’s chart on a cart. He and the nurse rush into a room. Eppsa looks at the chart and goes to Hayden’s room. The bed is empty.

Eppsa turns to see Lonnie walk across the hall and disappear.

Essence: Eppsa is looking for Hayden.

Conflict: Eppsa can’t find Hayden.

Subtext: Eppsa can see ghosts.

Hope/Fear: We hope Hayden is okay. We fear Lonnie’s spirit.

Scene Arc:

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Eppsa attends Lonnie’s funeral. She reluctantly talks to him. Lonnie claims he was murdered but doesn’t know who killed him. He needs Eppsa to help find his killer. Eppsa says she can’t help him. She can’t even find her son, Hayden, who stopped talking to her because they had a fight.

Lonnie knows the next victim will be Ramone Deliz.

Essence: Lonnie needs help finding his killer.

Conflict: Eppsa doesn’t want to help him.

Subtext: Eppsa doesn’t feel worthy.

Hope/Fear: We hope the killer is found. We fear he won’t.

Scene Arc: Eppsa reluctantly talks to Lonnie’s spirit to see if he needs help. She says she can’t help him.

EXT. ICE CREAM TRUCK – DAY

Hayden and his son, Evren (16), are in Hayden’s ice cream truck in an affluent neighborhood. Evren inspects Hayden’s sutures because there is blood on the floor. It turns out a freezer malfunctioned, and cherry popsicles melted.

Essence: Evren is concerned about his dad.

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/Fear: We hope Hayden is okay. We fear he’s bleeding out.

Scene Arc: They are selling ice cream. They think blood is on the floor of the truck. A freezer malfunctioned, and it’s only melted cherry popsicles that melted.

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Ramone appears in the cemetery. Lonnie greets him, and they disappear.

Essence: Ramone is dead.

Conflict:

Subtext: Ramone was killed by the serial killer.

Hope/Fear: We hope the serial killer is caught. We fear he won’t.

Scene Arc: Ramone’s spirit appears confused in the cemetery until Lonnie shows up.

INT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

Eppsa watches the news. A teenager, Ramone, was found. He’s a victim of suicide.

Essence: Eppsa realizes Lonnie was right.

Conflict: She’s upset that Ramone killed himself.

Subtext: Eppsa is intrigued by Lonnie.

Hope/Fear: We hope she helps Lonnie. We fear she won’t.

Scene Arc: She’s surprised about Ramone. She thinks he killed himself and is not a serial killer victim.

ACT 2:

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Eppsa meets with Lonnie. She wants to know how he knew Ramone was going to die. Lonnie says he has a feeling it was a serial killer but doesn’t know anything else.

Essence: Eppsa is curious about what Lonnie knows.

Conflict: She wants answers, but Lonnie doesn’t know much.

Subtext: Eppsa is skeptical.

Hope/Fear: We hope Lonnie has answers. We fear the killer won’t be found.

Scene Arc: Lonnie knew who was next to die but doesn’t know how else to help.

INT. ICE CREAM TRUCK – NIGHT

Hayden cleans a box of ice cream that had fallen and melted on the floor of his ice cream truck. The police call him to schedule a time for him to come in to do a police sketch.

Essence: Hayden cleans the red sticky mess, which resembles blood.

Conflict: Hayden has to go to the police.

Subtext: Hayden doesn’t want to go to the station.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: Hayden cleans the red floor.

EXT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – BEDROOM – DAY

Eppsa irons her mourning outfits. Lonnie appears. He is desperate to have her to call the police about the serial killer. He disappears. She calls the cops, but they can’t hear her and tells her to call back or come in.

Essence: Eppsa doesn’t believe Lonnie but will at least try.

Conflict: Eppsa doesn’t want to help Lonnie.

Subtext: Eppsa doubts Lonnie.

Hope/Fear: We hope Lonnie is right. We fear he’s wrong.

Scene Arc: Eppsa doesn’t care about helping Lonnie. She tries to call the cops.

INT. POLICE STATION – OFFICER MOSS’ DESK – DAY

Hayden describes the perpetrator to Officer Moss who is making a sketch.

Essence: Hayden is pretending to cooperate.

Conflict: Hayden isn’t helping the police.

Subtext: Hayden is throwing the cops in a different direction.

Hope/Fear: We hope the sketch helps. We fear the cops won’t find the killer.

Scene Arc:

INT. POLICE STATION – FRONT DESK – SAME

Eppsa waits in the busy station. An officer calls her over. She walks past Hayden who has his back to her.

Essence: Eppsa believes a cop is going to help her.

Conflict:

Subtext: She’s a ghost and isn’t seen.

Hope/Fear: We hope the cop helps Eppsa. We fear they won’t find the killer.

Scene Arc: She heads to the cop but is distracted by hearing Hayden’s name.

INT. POLICE STATION – OFFICER MOSS’ DESK – SAME

Hayden finishes the sketch. He gets the chills as he gets up. As he walks off, Officer Moss yells he’s getting a Good Samaritan award next week.

Essence: Hayden feels his mother’s presence. (Maybe he will smell her perfume.)

Conflict:

Subtext: He feels the spirit of his mother’s presence.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: He’s glad to be finished, but he has a weird feeling.

INT. POLICE STATION – BULLPEN – SAME

Eppsa hears Officer Moss call Hayden’s name. She rushes after Hayden, but he gets in his car and drives away.

Essence: Eppsa wants to find her son to apologize.

Conflict: Eppsa can’t catch up to Hayden.

Subtext: She’s a ghost, and Hayden doesn’t see her.

Hope/Fear: We hope she catches up to Hayden. We fear he’ll get away.

Scene Arc: She heads to the cop but is distracted by hearing Hayden’s name.

EXT. POLICE STATION – PARKING LOT – DAY

Eppsa overhears cops standing next to their cars that there’s an epidemic of people dying from suicide and copying TikTok challenges.

Essence: Eppsa believes the cops about how people are dying.

Conflict: Eppsa no longer believes Lonnie.

Subtext: Eppsa believes the cops and not Lonnie.

Hope/Fear: We hope the cops are right. We fear they aren’t.

Scene Arc: Eppsa is worried and wants to report a possible serial killer. Overhearing the cops, she believes them.

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Eppsa explains to Lonnie there’s no serial killer. She wants him to leave her alone and move on. He says the next victim is Finnick Ziccardi.

Essence: Eppsa is finished helping Lonnie.

Conflict: Lonnie needs Eppsa’s help.

Subtext: Eppsa thinks Lonnie is just a lost soul who can’t let go.

Hope/Fear: We hope Eppsa is right. We fear Finnick will be the next victim.

Scene Arc: Eppsa is done helping Lonnie, to Lonnie knows another name.

INT. CLOVER’S STORE – DAY

Eppsa talks to the psychic, Clover, to help Lonnie pass over.

Essence: Eppsa wants Lonnie to pass over.

Conflict:

Subtext: Eppsa is a lost spirit, too.

Hope/Fear: We hope Clover can help Eppsa. We fear Lonnie will never pass over.

Scene Arc: Eppsa hopes Clover can help, but Clover can’t.

EXT. FISHING POND – DAY

While fishing, Evren asks Hayden if his new friend Reece Ziccardi can go hunting with them on their next trip. Hayden wants to know if his dad’s name is Finnick because they were friends in high school. Evren doesn’t know.

Essence: Evren wants a new friend to hunt with them.

Conflict:

Subtext: Hayden knows Finnick who will be on his list.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: Hayden and Evren are fishing. Hayden needs to meet Reece and his dad.

INT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY

Eppsa’s neighbor, Bess, stops by to tell her about her trip to Nepal and how she almost died climbing Mt. Everest, but the rescue team revived her. Bess doesn’t know she died on the mountain and can’t cross over because she is waiting for her husband to come home from a business trip.

Essence: Bess talks to Eppsa about her trip to Nepal, where she died but was brought back to life.

Conflict:

Subtext: Bess is a ghost.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: They have a nice visit. Bess is sad waiting for her husband.

EXT. CHURCH – SANCTUARY – DAY

At Ramone’s funeral, Lonnie talks to Clair (6), who attends her brother’s funeral. He wants her to give a message to Eppsa, who will be wearing all black and carrying a white rose. The next victim is Tavish Stark. He’s a member of the church. Lonnie disappears.

Eppsa attends Ramone’s funeral. Clair tells Eppsa what Lonnie says. She asks Clair what happened to Finnick. Clair doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Eppsa will prove Lonnie wrong, once and for all.

Essence: Lonnie has Clair give Eppsa a message.

Conflict: Eppsa is mad at Lonnie. He was

Subtext: Eppsa doesn’t believe Lonnie because he was wrong about Finnick.

Hope/Fear: We hope Eppsa proves Lonnie is wrong. We fear Tavish will be the next victim.

Scene Arc: Lonnie wants Eppsa to stop Tavish from dying. Eppsa wants to prove Tavish is okay.

EXT. ROAD – DAY

Hayden and Evren look for a good spot to sell ice cream.

Essence: Hayden and Evren are selling ice cream.

Conflict:

Subtext: Hayden is looking for his next victim.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc:

INT. CHURCH – LONNIE’S OFFICE – DAY

Eppsa sneaks in and looks through the church member registry and finds Tavish’s address. Pastor Palmer McKee enters. She apologizes and runs out.

Essence: Eppsa is looking for Tavish’s address to help him.

Conflict: Eppsa is caught by Pastor Palmer McKee.

Subtext: They are both ghosts.

Hope/Fear: We hope Eppsa finds Tavish. We fear Tavish dies.

Scene Arc: Eppsa looks for Tavish’s address. She is caught going through the computer by the pastor.

INT. TAVISH’S HOUSE – DAY

A masked man makes Tavish drink something (out of an old “teacher of the year” cup) like they do in TikTok videos.

Essence: Tavish is being murdered by a serial killer.

Conflict: Tavish is being murdered.

Subtext: There is a serial killer.

Hope/Fear: We hope Tavish gets away. We fear he will die.

Scene Arc: Tavish struggles and dies.

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

As Ramone’s casket is lowered, Tavish’s spirit shows up in the cemetery and looks at Lonnie. He knows Eppsa is too late.

Essence: Lonnie knows Tavish died.

Conflict: Lonnie can’t stop the killer.

Subtext: Lonnie knows when people die by the serial killer’s hand.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: Ramone is buried, and Lonnie realizes Tavish is murdered.

EXT. PARK – DAY

Hayden is in the ice cream truck surrounded by children in a neighborhood park. Evren comes out of the public bathroom behind the truck and climbs inside to help with customers.

Essence: Evren uses the bathroom.

Conflict:

Subtext: Evren killed Tavish.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: Hayden helps kids buy ice cream. Evren joins him, and they leave.

EXT. TAVISH’S HOUSE – DAY

Eppsa knocks on the door. No answer. She goes around back and sees Tavish dead on the floor. Tavish’s wife enters the kitchen and screams. Eppsa runs.

Essence: Eppsa discovers Tavish’s dead.

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/Fear: We hope Eppsa doesn’t find Tavish. We fear she will get caught.

Scene Arc: Eppsa thinks Tavish is safe. She finds him dead.

INT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

Lonnie appears in front of Eppsa. She’s mad at Lonnie and wants him to stop haunting her. He was wrong about Finnick because no one named Finnick has died. Tavish was a coincidence. He’s wrong about a serial killer on the loose.

Essence: Eppsa doesn’t want Lonnie around.

Conflict: Lonnie wants help. Eppsa wants him to go.

Subtext: Lonnie is right.

Hope/Fear: We hope Eppsa is right. We fear Lonnie is right.

Scene Arc: Lonnie appears at Eppsa’s house. He still needs her help. She refuses.

INT. HAYDEN’S HOUSE – BACKYARD – DAY

Hayden, Neta (Hayden’s wife), Evren, Finnick, and Reece have dinner. Hayden reminisces with Finnick. They have a disagreement.

Essence: Hayden wants to get to know Finnick.

Conflict:

Subtext: Hayden wants to know how to find Finnick to kill him and resolve the past.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: Hayden is reacquainted with Finnick. They have a disagreement.

INT. CLOVER’S STORE – DAY

Eppsa has Clover channel Lonnie. Lonnie wants to pass over, but he can’t until the killer is stopped.

Essence: Eppsa uses Clover to help Lonnie.

Conflict: Eppsa wants him to go. Lonnie won’t pass over.

Subtext: Clover wants to help both of them pass over.

Hope/Fear: We hope Lonnie passes over. We fear he will be around forever.

Scene Arc: Eppsa and Clover channel Lonnie to help him. Lonnie can’t go until his killer is found.

INT. SOUP KITCHEN – DAY

Hayden and Evren bring ice cream to the soup kitchen. Hayden inquires about Kenji. He is told Kenji was hospitalized but will be released soon. The staff is grateful for Hayden and his kindness.

Essence: Hayden and Evren bring ice cream to the soup kitchen to make homeless people’s lives better.

Conflict:

Subtext: Hayden is checking in on Kenji, who will be another victim.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: Hayden and Evren supply ice cream. Hayden’s friend, Kenji, is in the hospital.

INT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY

Eppsa hears a scream and a crash outside her house. Bess runs up the stairs to tell Eppsa that a bicyclist was hit, and she needs to call 911.

Essence: There’s an accident outside Eppsa’s house.

Conflict:

Subtext: The bicyclist saw Bess and fell.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: Eppsa helps Bess and calls 911. They can’t hear because of the static.

INT. POLICE STATION – DAY

Hayden receives a Good Samaritan award.

Essence: Hayden is a good guy.

Conflict:

Subtext: Hayden plays the part of a good guy.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc:

ACT 3:

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Eppsa attends Tavish’s funeral. Lonnie calls her over. They argue. He tells her the victims all attended Seneca high school, although some are teens and some are adults. He can’t figure out the connection. Eppsa says that’s where her son, Hayden, attended. Now, she’s worried Hayden might become a victim, and she must find him.

Essence: Lonnie discovers the people who died attended the same high school. Eppsa worries about Hayden.

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/Fear: We hope Hayden is okay. We fear he will become a victim.

Scene Arc: Eppsa is at a funeral. She talks to Lonnie who clues her in the high school connection.

INT. POLICE STATION – DAY

Hayden is questioned again to see if he can think of anything new.

Essence: The cops can’t figure out who killed Lonnie.

Conflict:

Subtext: Hayden knows the killer and won’t tell the police.

Hope/Fear: We hope the killer is found. We fear they won’t.

Scene Arc:

INT. CHURCH – SANCTUARY – DAY

Eppsa prays in a pew. She goes over to comfort an old woman crying over the 15th anniversary of her grandson’s death. The grandmother is still convinced Monroe didn’t kill himself.

Essence: Eppsa helps a grieving grandmother.

Conflict:

Subtext: Her grandson, Monroe, was murdered by the same serial killer.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: Eppsa prays. Then she helps a grandmother.

INT. SOUP KITCHEN – DAY

Hayden visits Kenji at the soup kitchen. Kenji never got over the death of his best friend, Monroe.

Essence: Hayden talks to his friend about Monroe.

Conflict:

Subtext: Hayden knows what happened to Monroe.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: Hayden visits Kenji. Kenji can’t deal with losing his best friend, Monroe.

INT. CHURCH – SANCTUARY – DAY

Lonnie prays for guidance.

Essence: Lonnie prays for help.

Conflict: He wants to pass over.

Subtext:

Hope/Fear: We hope he finds his killer. We fear he will never pass over.

Scene Arc:

INT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY

Eppsa asks Bess for advice on getting rid of spirits that can’t pass over. Bess says maybe they can conduct a seance.

Essence: Eppsa turns to Bess for advice on getting rid of spirits.

Conflict:

Subtext: Eppsa and Bess are spirits who can’t pass over.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: Eppsa asks for help. Bess suggests a seance.

TURNING POINT 3:

INT. CLOVER’S STORE – DAY

Eppsa wants Clover to help her find Hayden. When Clover can’t find him, she wants Clover to channel her husband, Gruzby. He adored Hayden and will know where to find him. He’s probably protecting him. Clover can’t see Gruzby.

Essence: Eppsa is looking for Hayden by any means.

Conflict: Clover isn’t able to find Hayden and Gruzby is in Hell.

Subtext: Clover can only talk to the dead.

Hope/Fear: We hope Clover can help. We fear Eppsa won’t find Hayden.

Scene Arc: Eppsa uses Clover to find Hayden. She can’t find him and Gruzby is in Hell.

EXT. WOODS – DAY

Hayden takes Evren hunting. Hayden explains that killing is okay when protecting someone or if you need food. Reece wasn’t invited because of something.

Essence: Hayden is teaching Evren about life.

Conflict:

Subtext: Hayden justifies it’s okay to kill people to protect family and friends.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: They are hunting. One of them shoots an animal.

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

After a funeral, Eppsa sees Monroe’s grandmother at his gravesite. Eppsa recognizes his Seneca letterman jacket in his faded headstone picture.

Eppsa excuses herself when she sees Lonnie. The grandmother goes back to the church to pray.

Lonnie talks to Eppsa. He says the victims are waiting to pass over. He begs her to help. She walks away.

Essence: Eppsa is flustered when she realizes Monroe when to the same high school.

Conflict:

Subtext: Monroe was killed. He wasn’t suicidal.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: Eppsa comforts Monroe’s grandmother. Lonnie needs Eppsa to hurry because the victims are still waiting to pass.

INT. ICE CREAM TRUCK – DAY

Hayden sells ice cream. His freezer shakes and makes a horrible noise. Hayden pounds on the freezer. The noise stops.

Essence: Hayden’s broken freezer is acting up.

Conflict:

Subtext: Hayden has someone in his freezer.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: Hayden is selling ice cream. His freezer is still broken.

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Lonnie meets up with Kenji.

Essence: Lonnie and Kenji are in the cemetery with the other victims.

Conflict:

Subtext: Kenji is dead.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: Lonnie and Kenji meet up and disappear.

INT. CLOVER’S STORE – DAY

Lonnie’s spirit appears in Clover’s store. He wants to know how he can help Eppsa find the killer. Once the killings stop, he can pass over.

Essence: Lonnie wants Clover to help him with finding his killer.

Conflict:

Subtext: Clover can’t help him.

Hope/Fear:

Scene Arc: Lonnie appears to Clover. He needs her help. She is unable to help him.

INT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY

Eppsa has two out of three addresses with their last name, Kestner, crossed off. Lonnie shows up. Eppsa argues with him. She throws something at him to scare him off.

Essence: Eppsa is looking for Hayden and doesn’t have time for Lonnie.

Conflict: Lonnie is mad that Eppsa won’t help him.

Subtext:

Hope/Fear: We hope Eppsa helps Lonnie. We fear she won’t.

Scene Arc: Eppsa is looking for Hayden. She fights with Lonnie, so he’ll leave her alone.

EXT. ICE CREAM TRUCK – DAY

In a ghetto area, a woman flags Hayden to stop. When she buys an ice cream, she inquires about some red liquid on the floor. He claims his cherry popsicles melted from a malfunctioning freezer. As a food truck inspector, she’s great at fixing freezers. When she tries to get inside, he is kills her, but her phone rings. The woman has an emergency and leaves.

Essence: A women wants to fix Hayden’s broken freezer.

Conflict: Hayden doesn’t want the woman in his truck.

Subtext: Hayden has a body in his freezer.

Hope/Fear: We hope Hayden doesn’t kill her. We fear he will.

Scene Arc: Hayden goes from selling ice cream to almost killing a woman.

INT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

Eppsa and Bess hold a seance to get rid of Lonnie and set the victims free. Eppsa thinks Lonnie is gone.

Essence: Bess helps Eppsa send Lonnie, and anyone else who is lingering with Lonnie, to pass to the other side.

Conflict: They are spirits and can’t get rid of spirits.

Subtext: Eppsa and Bess are ghosts, just like Lonnie and the others.

Hope/Fear: We hope they can help the lost spirits. We fear they won’t pass over.

Scene Arc: They hold a seance, but it fails.

EXT. CAR WASH – NIGHT

Hayden cleans the truck floor. There’s red on the ground that was washed out of the truck. He picks up a handkerchief in the corner that Kenji had on his head. A cop comes up and wants to buy an ice cream cone. Hayden says his freezers are broken. He carefully reaches in and pulls out a soggy ice cream box. He points to the red mess on the ground. The cop leaves. Hayden throws a handkerchief in the trash.

Essence: Hayden cleans blood off the floor of his ice cream truck and deciles the cop.

Conflict: Hayden is spraying blood off his ice cream truck floor. The cop is suspicious but believes Hayden that it’s melted red popsicles.

Subtext: Hayden is a killer.

Hope/Fear: We hope the cop catches Hayden. We fear Hayden will kill the cop.

Scene Arc:

ACT 4:

INT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY

Eppsa listens to the news. Kenji’s name in the obituary. His body was found in a dilapidated warehouse. He was stabbed multiple times but ultimately bled to death.

Essence: Eppsa is sad that a homeless man was killed.

Conflict:

Subtext: Kenji was killed by Hayden.

Hope/Fear: We hope Kenji’s killer is found. We fear he was killed by the serial killer.

Scene Arc:

EXT. FINNICK’S HOUSE – DAY

Hayden and Finnick are building a fence. Finnick makes a comment about suicides in their childhood. He always thought Hayden’s dad was suspicious. They get into an argument.

Hayden admits his dad killed Monroe because he and his friends beat up Hayden, daily. Hayden only killed Pastor Palmer McKee because the pastor found something that implicated his dad. Recently, Hayden admits he finally killed Monroe’s two other friends. He has only killed people who deserve it.

Hayden kills Finnick but makes it look like Finnick died by having an accident with his circular saw. Hayden flees.

Essence: Finnick had a sense from their high school days that Gruzby was a killer.

Conflict: Hayden is mad that Finnick accused his dad and kills him.

Subtext:

Hope/Fear: We hope Finnick and Hayden stop fighting. We fear Hayden will kill Finnick.

Scene Arc: Hayden and Finnick mend a fence. They fight and Hayden kills Finnick.

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Lonnie greets Finnick. Lonnie sees Hayden speed by in his ice cream truck.

Essence: Finnick is one of Hayden’s victims.

Conflict:

Subtext: Lonnie

Hope/Fear: We hope Lonnie recognizes Hayden as his killer. We fear Hayden will get away with murder.

Scene Arc: Lonnie is sad to see Finnick. He’s shocked that he remembers Hayden.

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Eppsa attends Kenji’s funeral. Lonnie meets up with Eppsa and tells her Hayden is the killer. She denies it. Lonnie wants her to go home and think of the fight she had with Hayden before he stopped talking to her. It might spark a memory.

Essence: Lonnie reveals his killer to Eppsa.

Conflict: Eppsa doesn’t believe Lonnie.

Subtext: Deep down, Eppsa knows the truth.

Hope/Fear: We hope Eppsa believes Lonnie. We fear she won’t.

Scene Arc: Eppsa is told Hayden is the serial killer. Eppsa denies it and goes home to ponder her fight with Hayden.

INT. EPPSA’S HOUSE – BEDROOM – DAY

Eppsa lays in bed thinking about Hayden. She falls asleep. She dreams of the fight she had with her husband, Gruzby. She is aiming a gun at Gruzby because she discovered he killed Monroe. Hayden comes in. When Hayden grabs the gun, it goes off and kills Gruzby. Infuriated that Eppsa killed his dad, Hayden shoots Eppsa. The cops felt bad that Hayden witnessed the murder-suicide.

She wakes up to see her house is dilapidated.

Essence: Eppsa remembers her fight with Gruzby and that Hayden shot her in anger.

Conflict: Eppsa discovered Gruzby was a murderer and she killed her husband. Then, Hayden kills her.

Subtext: Gruzby was a serial killer and Hayden is following in his footsteps.

Hope/Fear: We hope Eppsa kills Gruzby. We fear Eppsa will die.

Scene Arc: Eppsa and Gruzby are fighting. Hayden tries to stop Eppsa from killing his dad. Gruzby dies and Hayden kills Eppsa. Eppsa realizes she’s dead.

INT. HAYDEN’S HOUSE – GARAGE – DAY

Hayden and Neta fight. Maybe Neta found something and believes Hayden is the murderer. Hayden wants a divorce. Neta opens her phone to call the police.

Hayden grabs a knife and is about to stab Neta when Eppsa appears.

Hayden loosens his grip on Neta when he sees his mom’s spirit. Neta can’t see her.

Eppsa apologizes. Hayden freaks. Eppsa tries to get the knife out of his hand.

Evren enters and sees Hayden holding onto his mom and in a position to stab her. He rushes back inside.

Hayden struggles with Eppsa. As he’s about to stab Neta, Evren shoots Hayden.

Essence: When Hayden and Neta are fighting, Eppsa appears and Hayden tries to stop Hayden from killing Neta.

Conflict: Neta knows Hayden killed someone. Eppsa wants the killings to stop.

Subtext: Eppsa is angry she didn’t know Hayden was a serial killer like his dad.

Hope/Fear: We hope Hayden dies. We fear he will kill Neta and Evren.

Scene Arc: Hayden and Neta fight. Eppsa appears and tries to stop him. Evren sees and kills Hayden.

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Eppsa is at her gravesite. She reads her headstone. Lonnie tells Eppsa that Hayden is with Gruzby in Hell.

She calls out to Bess. Eppsa and Lonnie walk Bess over to her fresh grave.

The victims come out and they all disappear.

Essence: Eppsa sees her headstone and comes to terms with being dead.

Conflict:

Subtext: Eppsa is relieved.

Hope/Fear: We hope they go to heaven. We fear someone will get killed again and they stay.

Scene Arc: The victims appear at the gravesite. They all pass over.

INT. HAYDEN’S HOUSE – EVREN’S ROOM – NIGHT

Evren looks at his list of names crossed off. Neta calls him down to dinner. He tucks the list away in a book and goes downstairs to join her.

Essence: Evren is a serial killer.

Conflict:

Subtext: Evren will continue to kill.

Hope/Fear: We hope he stops killing. We fear he won’t stop.

Scene Arc: Evren tucks away a list of people he murdered and goes downstairs to eat.

INT. HAYDEN’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

Evren and Neta watch the news as they eat. The news says with the help of Evren, they found out Hayden was a serial killer. A cold wind blows through a window and gives Evren the chills. He looks around. A shadow appears in the hallway.

Essence: Evren was helpful by putting the blame on the deaths on his dad which took the heat off him. One of his victims is still lingering.

Conflict: Evren thinks he’s in the clear, but a spirit still lingers.

Subtext: Evren is a serial killer just like his dad.

Hope/Fear: We hope the spirit haunts Evren. We fear he will continue to kill.

Scene Arc: Evren is calm while watching the news and eating dinner with his mom. A spirit lingers in the shadows, and the wind blowing is a sign they are watching Evren.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Intriguing Moments

What I learned from doing this assignment is it is possible to build more intrigue, even at this point.

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year and sells them to producers who are eager to make my vision a reality by bringing my scripts to completion so everyone can watch my movies on the big screen.

Concept: While at a funeral, a professional mourner is told by the deceased they were murdered, but when no one believes the mourner, she decides to find and stop the serial killer before he kills his next victim, only to discover she is a ghost and is the mother of the serial killer.

Title: Justice from the Grave

Genre: Supernatural Thriller

ACT 1:

HIDDEN IDENTITY/MYSTERY: Hayden kills Lonnie, but why since Lonnie’s family took Hayden in after his parents were part of a murder-suicide while they were in high school?

MYSTERY: Why is Eppsa looking for Hayden?

INTRIGUE: Eppsa sees Lonnie’s spirit after he dies.

INTRIGUE: Lonnie needs Eppsa to help him find his killer.

SECRET/MYSTERY/COVERT AGENDA: Hayden hides a body in his ice cream truck freezer while his son, Evren, is with him. Who is the dead person?

ACT 2:

SCHEME: Eppsa, with the help of Lonnie, plans to find the serial killer.

SUPERIOR POSITION/COVER UP: Hayden lies to the cops and sits with the sketch artist. The cops admire Hayden for trying to save Lonnie. They want to give him a Good Samaritan Award.

MYSTERY: Why are people dying? TikTok videos, suicide, or serial killer?

SUPERIOR POSITION: Lonnie is telling the truth that there is a serial killer, but Eppsa doesn’t believe him.

COVERT AGENDA: Eppsa tries to help Lonnie pass over by talking to a psychic, Clover.

MYSTERY: Why is Hayden telling Evren it’s okay to kill?

SCHEME: Why does Hayden want to know so much about Evren’s new friend, Reece Ziccardi, and his dad, Finnick Ziccardi?

MYSTERY: How can the little girl, Clair, talk to a ghost?

SUPERIOR POSITION: Eppsa sees Tavish and thinks he killed himself since there’s no blood, but we know he was murdered by Hayden.

INTRIGUE/SUPERIOR POSITION: Why is Hayden getting so friendly with Finnick since Finnick was his friend from high school? We know he’s getting information so he can kill Finnick.

COVERT AGENDA/INTRIGUE: Eppsa has Clover channel Lonnie to help Lonnie pass over.

SCHEME: Hayden wants to know about Kenji at the soup kitchen.

MYSTERY: Why does Eppsa tell Bess the bicyclist will be okay when she knows she died?

ACT 3:

SUPERIOR POSITION: Lonnie knows that the serial killer is still out there. We know Hayden is the serial killer, and his life isn’t in jeopardy.

INTRIGUE/SUPERIOR POSITION: Hayden takes his eight-year-old son hunting, but we know he’s grooming Evren to become a serial killer.

SECRET: Clover knows Eppsa is a spirit but won’t let Eppsa know because she might not ever be able to move on if she doesn’t help her son.

COVERT AGENDA: Eppsa and Bess discuss holding a séance to help Lonnie pass over.

SUPERIOR POSITION: We know that Lonnie is watching Hayden and Evren at the cemetery.

INTRIGUE: Eppsa helps a grandmother who is still mourning the death of her grandson, who died 15 years prior. The grandmother says he was killed, although the doctors said he committed suicide.

INTRIGUE: Lonnie tells Eppsa that other victims can’t pass over until the serial killer is discovered and stopped.

INTRIGUE: Will Eppsa be able to find Hayden?

INTRIGUE: Hayden threatens his wife’s life if she considers getting professional help from a psychiatrist. Would he really do it?

SUPERIOR POSITION: A woman who sees blood inside the ice cream truck is suspicious and questions Hayden.

MYSTERY: What does Lonnie know about Eppsa?

ACT 4:

MYSTERY: What will Eppsa find when she gets home?

MYSTERY: How is she going to stop Hayden from killing his wife?

MYSTERY: What cycle won’t end? Killing?

INTRIGUE: Eppsa discovers all the other people she spoke to were ghosts and victims of Hayden since he was in high school.

HIDDEN IDENTITY: Evren has a collection of things he has killed or mutilated and is mentally ready to be a serial killer when he grows up, just like his dad.

[Veronica Turowski]

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Veronica Turowski’s Emotional Moments

What I learned from doing this assignment is I had depth to my characters but now they are stronger.

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year and sells them to producers who are eager to make my vision a reality by bringing my scripts to completion so everyone can watch my movies on the big screen.

Concept: While at a funeral, a professional mourner is told by the deceased they were murdered, but when no one believes the mourner, she decides to find and stop the serial killer before he kills his next victim, only to discover she is a ghost and is the mother of the serial killer.

Title: Justice from the Grave

Genre: Supernatural Thriller

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ACT 1:

SURPRISE/DISTRESS/BETRAYAL: Hayden kills Lonnie. Lonnie is surprised after all his family did for Hayden after that night.

DISTRESS: Eppsa mourns at graves. She is a ghost and wants to pass over.

SURPRISE: Eppsa sees a ghost and can talk to him.

BONDING: Lonnie and Eppsa bond when Lonnie pleads for help.

SHOCK/MORAL ISSUE: Hayden knows it’s wrong to kill in front of his son, but he still hides bodies and disposes of them when Evren is around.

HIDDEN WEAKNESS/WOUND: Eppsa mourns her life that was cut short. She doesn’t know her husband killed her.

ACT 2:

WOUND: She’s angry because she thinks Lonnie is playing games with her. She’s also upset because she feels ignored by people.

MUTUAL WOUND: Eppsa is in denial there’s a serial killer. Lonnie gets angry she doesn’t believe him. He feels connected to Eppsa, but it’s because her son killed him.

DISTRESS: Since the cop only hears static on the phone, she gets frustrated and slams the phone down. Technology fails her, too.

SURPRISE: The cold air Hayden feels in the police station is the spirit of his dead mother.

EMOTIONAL DILEMMA: Eppsa is a ghost who can’t move on. She believes in God but can’t figure out how to pass over herself.

WOUND: In high school, Hayden watched his dad kill his mom and then kill himself. He kills because that is what he knows.

BONDING/LOVE: Hayden and Evren bond while fishing.

BONDING: Eppsa and Bess bond because they are ghosts and don’t know they are ghosts.

SURPRISE: Clair can see Lonnie and other ghosts. Clair tells Eppsa there’s going to be another killing.

SHOCK: Hayden kills Tavish and reveals why he’s killing his old friends.

DISTRESS: Lonnie can feel that Hayden killed Tavish.

TURNING POINT 2 / MIDPOINT:

BONDING: Finnick is shocked to see Hayden. He and Hayden reminisce over old times, but Finnick has trepidations/anxiety because of the past.

EMOTIONAL DILEMMA: Lonnie wants to pass over, but he can’t because if he does, Hayden will never be revealed, and the killings will continue. God’s giving Lonnie a chance to right a wrong from his past.

SURPRISE/EXCITEMENT: Hayden is searching for his next victim, Kenji.

DISTRESS/SURPRISE: Bess is a ghost, and the bicyclist was trying to avoid her. Eppsa sees the ghost of the bicyclist who died after being hit by a car.

ACT 3:

DISTRESS: Eppsa realizes the victims went to school with Hayden. She must protect him from the serial killer.

BONDING: Hayden is grooming Evren to become a serial killer since he thinks it’s genetic.

EXCITEMENT/SURPRISE: Eppsa’s husband, Gruzby, is in Hell.

EMOTIONAL DILEMMA: Lonnie loves Jesus and wants to go to Heaven, but he can’t go to Heaven until Hayden is stopped.

BONDING: Eppsa and Bess are ghosts who are discussing why Lonnie can’t pass over, although neither of them can pass over because they don’t know they are dead.

BONDING/LOVE: Hayden idolizes Gruzby and emphasizes how Evren is just like his grandfather.

SURPRISE/EXCITEMENT: Hayden smells Lonnie’s cologne and knows Lonnie’s presence is there.

SURPRISE: Eppsa recognizes Monroe and remembers he was Hayden’s friend. Now, she fears Hayden is going to be a victim.

DISTRESS: Eppsa ignores Lonnie. He is desperate for Eppsa to help him.

DISTRESS/SURPRISE: Hayden kills again.

DISTRESS: Eppsa can’t find Hayden to warn him a serial killer is after him.

BONDING/LOVE: Hayden plays board games with his wife and son.

DISTRESS: He threatens his wife when she brings up her concern over Evren’s killing/dismembering something.

MUTUAL WOUND: Eppsa turns to Palmer because she wants Lonnie to pass over and leave her alone. Palmer is a ghost and can’t find peace, either.

SURPRISE/EXCITEMENT/DISTRESS: Hayden kills someone other than his old high school friends.

WOUND: Eppsa is distraught over Kenji’s death. She’s more depressed because no one cares about him.

EMOTIONAL DILEMMA: Clover wants Lonnie to tell Eppsa she’s a ghost and her son is the serial killer. Lonnie fears Eppsa will hate him or will think he’s a traitor if he tells her the truth.

WOUND/SHOCK: Hayden’s dad was a serial killer.

BETRAYAL: Eppsa feels betrayed that Lonnie accuses Hayden of being a serial killer.

BETRAYAL/SHOCK: Neta has known Hayden is a serial killer.

SURPRISE/EMOTIONAL DILEMMA: Eppsa is a ghost, and she learns Hayden is a serial killer.

DISTRESS/COURAGE: Eppsa confronts Hayden.

EMOTIONAL DILEMMA/SACRIFICE: Can she truly make him kill himself? If she doesn’t, Hayden will continue killing. He’s not getting revenge on his friends. It’s just an excuse to kill. His killing won’t stop with his friends.

BOND: Bess discovers she is a ghost. Eppsa helps Bess and Hayden’s other victims pass over.

RESOLUTION:

SHOCK/SURPRISE: Evren will become a serial killer.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Character Action Tracks!

What I learned from doing this assignment is I had a lot of the setups and reveals built in, but I added more and flushed out a couple of things. I still have more to discover, and I can’t wait to see my final script.

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year and sells them to producers who are eager to make my vision a reality by bringing my scripts to completion so everyone can watch my movies on the big screen.

Concept: While at a funeral, a professional mourner is told by the deceased they were murdered, but when no one believes the mourner, she decides to find and stop the serial killer before he kills his next victim, only to discover she is a ghost and is the mother of the serial killer.

Title: Justice from the Grave

Genre: Supernatural Thriller

ACT 1:

Hayden AJ 1: Hayden sneaks into Lonnie’s office. When he puts a knife against Lonnie’s neck, Lonnie hits Hayden in the head with a Bible. Hayden’s nose bleeds profusely. Hayden says at least he can’t smell that awful cologne anymore. Hayden says he was not going to let him suffer, but since his DNA is all over, he tells Lonnie it’s going to be painful.

Lonnie PJ 1: Lonnie says he thought Evren was telling stories about Hayden being like Captain Ahab, the whale killer, not King Ahab, the evil ruler who killed people. Or maybe Evren referenced his dad and Lonnie as Cain and Abel.

SETUP: Hayden kills Lonnie and Hayden hates the smell of Lonnie’s cologne.

(Maybe Hayden was taken in by Lonnie’s family after the death of his parents?)

Eppsa PJ 1: Eppsa turns and sees the news in the ER waiting room as she goes through the open doors to the ER rooms. The news says Hayden’s a hero for trying to save his pastor, Lonnie, who was attacked. Eppsa rushes down the hall and finds a chart with Hayden’s name on it. The bed is empty.

INCITING INCIDENT:

Eppsa PJ 2: There’s a code blue. Eppsa jumps when the alarms sound. Doctors and nurses flood a room. She watches Lonnie exit the room. He looks at her like he’s confused and disappears. Eppsa panics and runs away.

REVEAL: Lonnie is a ghost.

Eppsa PJ 3: Dressed in all black, Eppsa goes to Lonnie’s funeral. She cries for Lonnie and his family. She sees Lonnie and is frightened. He pleads for her to come over. He waves his Bible, symbolizing he doesn’t want to hurt her. She reluctantly talks to him.

SETUP: Eppsa can see and talk to spirits.

Lonnie PJ 2: Lonnie tells Eppsa he was a pastor. He jokes that he was a good one, too. Since she can see him, he needs her help. He doesn’t remember his attacker, but he knows the name of the next victim, Ramone Deliz.

REVEAL: Lonnie has the ability to give the names of the serial killer’s victims, so she can help stop the serial killer.

Hayden AJ 2: Evren, Hayden’s young son, takes money from a customer. Hayden removes an ice cream bar and popsicle stored next to the dead body of Ramone, who is in the freezer of his ice cream truck. The ice cream is getting soft. Ramone’s body made it too warm. The red popsicle drips across the floor. He hands the ice cream to the kids. He smiles as he licks the red popsicle oozing down his hand. He drives to a dilapidated area. Evren eats ice cream and plays a video game in the front seat while Hayden drags Ramone’s body into an abandoned warehouse where the slashes up Ramone’s wrists are visible. Hayden wants to stop at the flower shop for Neta because they are running late.

REVEAL: Hayden is the serial killer.

TURNING POINT 1:

Eppsa PJ 4: In the obituary, Eppsa finds Ramone Deliz, and it proclaims he killed himself by slitting his wrists. She cries.

Lonnie PJ 3: Lonnie meets with the ghost of Ramone Deliz. Lonnie holds his Bible in one hand and wraps his other arm around the man. They disappear.

ACT 2:

Eppsa PJ 5: Eppsa goes to the cemetery. She calls out for Lonnie. She says not to ignore her like everyone else seems to. Annoyed, she tells Lonnie the man killed himself. Stop playing games.

Lonnie PJ 4: Lonnie says Ramone’s name just came to him. Knowing things is part of the spirit world, but spirits don’t always know everything. Eppsa doesn’t believe him. He says someone should notify the police to search for a possible serial killer.

Hayden AJ 3: Hayden cleans out his ice cream truck. He gets a call from the police to come to do a sketch. He rolls his eyes or chuckles at them.

Eppsa PJ 6: Eppsa calls the police. They have a bad connection, and they tell her to call back. She calls again. It’s staticky. They tell her to come in. Lonnie, very faint, appears in Eppsa’s house. Startled, she jumps. She wants Lonnie to stay away.

SETUP: The cop only hears static on the phone.

Hayden AJ 4: Hayden describes a man for the cops’ sketch at the police station. Hayden retells his lie, stating when he chased the man away, when he was trying to kill Lonnie, the man slashed his arm.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden is a good liar and manipulator. People love him.

Eppsa PJ 7: Eppsa is at the busy police station waiting to talk to someone. No one listens to her. She checks her watch. Officer Moss, sitting at a desk, points in her direction and motions her over. (She passes by Hayden in a chair but doesn’t notice him because he’s not facing her and he’s wearing a hat.) He is actually pointing to someone else.

SETUP: Eppsa wasn’t called over by a cop; the cop was talking to someone behind her.

Hayden AJ 5: The cops want to give him an award for being a good Samaritan. He shivers and tells a cop it’s drafty in the station. He leaves.

SETUP: The cold air he feels is from the spirit of his mother.

Eppsa PJ 8: Eppsa hears a cop yell after Hayden for his good work. She turns away from Officer Moss and rushes after Hayden. He’s gone. In the parking lot, she overhears cops saying these last few deaths were because they tried TikTok challenges.

Eppsa PJ 9: Eppsa goes to the cemetery to tell Lonnie he’s wrong. There isn’t a serial killer. The slew of deaths are from TikTok challenges and suicides. She questions his belief in God. He should want to go to heaven. She says she won’t hang around the earth when she dies. Heaven is beautiful. Lonnie needs to stop holding on and pass over like a good spirit.

SETUP: Eppsa is a ghost who can’t move on.

Lonnie PJ 5: Lonnie gets mad that she thinks he’s lying. He tells her the name of the next victim, Finnick Carnell, and says there’s more to come. He vanishes.

Eppsa PJ 10: Eppsa turns to Clover. Eppsa thinks Lonnie is confused and wants to see if Clover can help Lonnie pass over. Clover and Eppsa have met on several occasions. Eppsa believes she is sitting at the table with Clover as a person. Clover tells Eppsa she won’t accept money because Eppsa is selfless and is always trying to help people. Clover knows Eppsa can’t pay because she’s a spirit.

SETUP: Clover is a medium that can talk to Eppsa.

REVEAL: Lonnie can’t pass over until the serial killer is dead.

Hayden AJ 6: Hayden goes camping with Neta and Evren. After fishing, Hayden makes Evren kill and clean the fish he caught. Hayden rationalizes his killing to Evren. Evren tells Hayden of this new kid in the neighborhood, Reece Ziccardi. Hayden recognizes the last name, Ziccardi. Evren remembers the last name because it rhymes with Bacardi, which is Neta’s favorite alcohol. Hayden is curious if his old friend, Finnick Ziccardi, has moved back to town.

SETUP: Hayden is looking for his next victim, Finnick.

Eppsa PJ 11: While Eppsa is looking at a map of Kestner’s in the area, a neighbor, Bess, stops by to visit. They say it seems like years since they’ve seen each other (that’s because Eppsa died years ago). Bess was on a trip and recently died while in Nepal. Bess and Eppsa don’t know either of them are ghosts. Bess tells her about her trip to Mt. Everest and that she had gotten altitude sickness while climbing. She said the rescue team thought she was going to die. She doesn’t remember the rescue team bringing her down or her trip home, but she’s fully recovered now. Eppsa is looking for Hayden. He won’t talk to her since they had a big fight. She wants to beg him for forgiveness.

SETUP: Bess is a ghost.

SETUP: Eppsa is looking for Hayden to beg for forgiveness.

Lonnie PJ 6: Lonnie sees a little girl, Clair, at a funeral. Clair is alive and at Ramone’s funeral, which is her dad. Lonnie knows Eppsa won’t listen to him, so he wants the little girl to pass a message on to Eppsa. He describes Eppsa, who is always dressed in a black pants outfit and carries a white rose. The next victim is Tavish Stark, who is a member of the church. Eppsa must find Tavish now before he dies. Lonnie disappears.

SETUP: Clair can see Lonnie and other ghosts.

Eppsa PJ 12: Eppsa goes to the funeral of the man stored in Hayden’s ice cream truck. Clair speaks to Eppsa and tells Eppsa the name of another victim Lonnie gave her. Eppsa tells her they are dying because of TikTok videos, not a serial killer. Clair pleads with Eppsa. Eppsa decides to prove Lonnie wrong. She rushes into the church to find the address of the church member on the computer. Papers in the office move while she’s in there looking. She types on the computer. She finds Tavish’s address. A pastor, Palmer McKee, enters. She apologizes for being where she’s not supposed to be and runs away.

SETUP: Clair tells Eppsa that Hayden is going to kill someone.

SETUP: Palmer is a ghost.

Hayden AJ 7: Hayden argues with Tavish Stark about their high school days while Tavish is tied to a chair. Hayden makes him drink bleach and something like that in a TikTok video. Tavish dies. Hayden ducks back into the ice cream truck where Evren is waiting.

REVEAL: Hayden kills Tavish and reveals why he’s killing his old friends.

Lonnie PJ 7: Lonnie tells Clair that Eppsa is too late to stop Hayden this time. He wishes he could stop the killer, but he isn’t strong enough. The mother calls her daughter, Clair, back. Lonnie disappears, and Clair walks off with her mom, hand in hand.

REVEAL: Lonnie knows that Hayden killed Tavish.

REVEAL: Clair isn’t a ghost but a child who is at her dad’s funeral.

Eppsa PJ 13: Eppsa walks up to the front door and knocks. No answer. It’s locked. She goes around back. The door is locked. She looks in the window and sees Tavish on the floor with foam coming from his mouth. The Tavish’s wife enters the front door, walks into the kitchen, sees him, and screams. Eppsa runs.

TURNING POINT 2 / MIDPOINT:

Hayden AJ 8: Hayden throws Evren (8) a birthday party. Reece comes with Finnick, his dad. Finnick was Hayden’s friend from high school and will be another victim near the end. Hayden is chummy with Finnick, but secretly he’s getting information to find him later to kill him.

REVEAL: Finnick is Hayden’s old friend and will now become another victim.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden wanted to make sure Evren’s friend’s dad was one of his friends from school who had moved back to town.

Eppsa PJ 14: Eppsa goes back to Clover to help Lonnie pass over. Clover channels Lonnie.

Lonnie PJ 8: Lonnie talks to Clover while Eppsa is “visiting” Clover. Lonnie has low energy, and Clover can’t hear him very clearly. He tells them he wants to go, but it’s impossible to go unless the killer is stopped. God knows he’s here and was told he will be a key in stopping the killer. It’s all in God’s time.

REVEAL: God is allowing Lonnie to be on earth to help stop Hayden.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Clover can talk to Eppsa and Lonnie because she can channel them. Eppsa has a strong presence on earth because of unfinished business. Lonnie wants to move on and has a foot here and a foot on the other side.

Hayden AJ 9: Hayden and Evren go to the soup kitchen in the ice cream truck. They pass out food. Hayden inquiries about his next victim, Kenji, who hasn’t shown up to the soup kitchen in a while. Kenji was hospitalized, but he will be released soon. They thank Hayden for being so thoughtful.

SETUP: Hayden’s searching for his next victim, Kenji.

Eppsa PJ 15: Eppsa hears a scream and a crash outside her house. She rushes outside. Bess runs up the steps. She tried to move out of the way of the bicyclist, but when the bicyclist swerved, she fell into the street. She needs to call 911. The 911 operator can’t hear her on the phone. Bess passes out. Eppsa rushes outside to help. There’s a swarm of people and a police siren in the distance. She sees the ghost of a young woman walking away from the accident. The young woman looks at Eppsa and signals her over. Eppsa is afraid. The young girl disappears. Eppsa freaks out and slams her door. She tells Bess to rest because the bicyclist will be okay.

REVEAL: Bess is a ghost, and the bicyclist was trying to avoid her.

Hayden AJ 10: Hayden receives a Good Samaritan award at the police station.

ACT 3:

Eppsa PJ 16: Eppsa attends Tavish’s funeral.

Lonnie PJ 9: Lonnie sees Eppsa at the funeral. Eppsa wants to be left alone. She can’t stop everyone from playing TikTok games. Lonnie tells her that all the victims graduated from the same high school. (They were all 29 and 30 when they died.) He knows it’s a serial killer. Eppsa is now worried Hayden’s life is in jeopardy.

SETUP: Lonnie wants her to realize the men dying graduated from Hayden’s high school, and they were all the same age.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Eppsa realizes they all went to school with Hayden. She must protect him from the serial killer.

Hayden AJ 11: Hayden takes Evren hunting. Evren shoots the rabbit. The rabbit is only hurt. Hayden makes Evren kill the rabbit so it doesn’t suffer. That’s what Hayden’s dad taught him.

SETUP: Hayden is grooming Evren to become a serial killer since he thinks it’s genetic.

Eppsa PJ 17: She talks to Clover, trying to get answers and find Hayden before he becomes a victim of the serial killer. Clover senses a dark spirit around Hayden, but she can’t find him. Eppsa also wants to speak to her dead husband, Gruzby, thinking he might be able to help her. Clover can’t see into the darkness where his soul lingers.

SETUP: Eppsa’s husband, Gruzby, is in Hell.

Lonnie PJ 10: Lonnie walks through the church. He tells the statue of Jesus he wants to go to the other side, but he knows he must stay to help Eppsa. He asks for guidance.

Eppsa PJ 18: Eppsa’s neighbor comes over to talk. Eppsa tells her about Lonnie. Her neighbor says Lonnie is a confused spirit. Or he’s mad because he can’t pass over. She had read that somewhere.

Hayden AJ 12: Hayden brings Evren to the cemetery. Hayden tells Evren about his amazing grandfather, Gruzby, and Evren is just like him.

SETUP: Hayden idolizes Gruzby and emphasizes how Evren is just like his grandfather.

Lonnie PJ 11: Lonnie sees Hayden and Evren. He recognizes Hayden. He rushes at him but can’t do anything. Hayden senses Lonnie’s spirit. He smells his cologne. Hayden laughs at Lonnie.

REVEAL: Hayden smells Lonnie’s cologne and knows Lonnie’s presence is there.

TURNING POINT 3:

Eppsa PJ 19: Eppsa goes to church to pray. She sees a woman cry while praying. The woman takes her to her grandson’s gravesite. Her grandson, Monroe, was born the same year as her son and died the year before their high school graduation. The woman wants to find the killer because she knows Monroe didn’t kill himself. Eppsa recognizes the picture of the kid on the headstone in his letterman jacket.

SETUP: Eppsa sees another ghost.

REVEAL: Eppsa recognizes Hayden’s friend. Now, she fears Hayden is going to be a victim.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Monroe was Hayden’s first victim in high school. Possibly, all of Hayden’s friends were exceptional soccer players, and that is why they formed a bond from middle school through high school.

Lonnie PJ 12: Lonnie sees Eppsa with the woman. When she’s finished with the woman, Eppsa goes over to Lonnie. He tells Eppsa that other victims are waiting to pass over. She needs to help them. She ignores him because she doesn’t believe in lost spirits.

Hayden AJ 13: Hayden kills another victim, Kenji.

Eppsa PJ 20: Eppsa has a list of all the Kestner’s in the nearby towns. Each name, with the address and phone number, is crossed off, except one. She crosses the last one off. There’s a map with “X’s” on it throughout the cities surrounding her house. Lonnie appears and tries to tell her he knows the name of the killer. Eppsa throws something at him. He disappears.

REVEAL: Eppsa can’t find Hayden.

Hayden AJ 14: Hayden and his family play games at home.

Eppsa PJ 21: Eppsa, depressed and worried, goes to the church to talk to the pastor, Palmer McKee, about Lonnie. She wants to know how to get him to pass over. She thinks there must be something in the Bible to help him. She could suggest Lonnie’s a demon. She just wants to find her son. Palmer gives her advice.

SETUP: Palmer is a ghost.

Hayden AJ 15: A woman buys ice cream. She sees blood inside the truck. She says she’s an inspector for food trucks. He blames it on a melted red popsicle. She wants to get his information and inspect his truck. Evren walks up as Hayden kills the food truck inspector. Hayden explains it’s okay and that he will understand better when he’s an adult.

REVEAL: Hayden kills people other than his original victims.

Eppsa PJ 22: Eppsa is the only one who attends Kenji’s funeral.

Lonnie PJ 13: Lonnie talks to Clover, who tells him he must tell Eppsa the truth.

SETUP: Clover wants Lonnie to tell Eppsa she’s a ghost and her son is the serial killer.

Hayden AJ 16: Just before Hayden kills Finnick. Finnick tells him he will never stop killing. It’s in his blood like his father.

REVEAL: Hayden’s dad was a serial killer.

ACT 4:

Eppsa PJ 23: Eppsa goes to the cemetery to attend Finnick’s funeral.

Lonnie PJ 14: Lonnie tells Eppsa that Hayden is the serial killer. She doesn’t believe it. Lonnie tells her Hayden has one more victim, Neta. She must kill Hayden. Lonnie tells her to go home where she will find all the answers to her questions. If she doesn’t do it, he will haunt her forever. He tells her that her anger will give her the strength to do whatever it takes to stop Hayden.

Hayden AJ 17: Hayden and his wife, Neta, have a fight. She discovered the truth when Evren said something to her. She fears Evren might become like him because he killed a squirrel and skinned it. Evren told her his dad said it’s okay to kill, just don’t let it suffer when you do it. Neta can’t continue to live a lie. She’s going to turn him in. Hayden says there’s no proof of anything. Besides, he won’t hesitate to kill her and Evren if she even thinks about going to the cops.

REVEAL: Neta has known Hayden is a serial killer.

Eppsa PJ 24: Eppsa returns home. The house is dilapidated. There are old newspapers inside the doorway. One headline reveals she was killed in a murder-suicide. Now, she remembers. Infuriated, she calls Hayden on the phone and tells him to come home.

REVEAL: Eppsa is a ghost, and she learns Hayden is a serial killer.

Hayden AJ 18: Hayden, in disbelief, goes to his old house. Eppsa reveals herself. Hayden explains why he killed his first victim and then had to kill pastor Palmer McKee. She’s sorry she didn’t see he had mental problems. His dad was giving her problems and she didn’t have time to focus on him. She forces him to kill himself to stop the cycle. As he’s dying, Hayden says something about the cycle will never end.

REVEAL: Eppsa’s house is in shambles because it has been vacant since the murder-suicide.

REVEAL: Palmer was his second victim.

Eppsa PJ 25: Eppsa goes to her gravesite and sees the headstone where she and her husband are buried. She mourns for herself and her son. She calls out to Bess, who is patiently waiting in the distance. Eppsa takes her neighbor to visit her new gravesite. Lonnie appears.

REVEAL: Bess is a ghost.

Lonnie PJ 15: Eppsa, Lonnie, and Eppsa’s neighbor pass on, along with the other victims, including the grandmother of the first victim and pastor Palmer McKee, who was Hayden’s second victim years ago.

Resolution: After Hayden dies and Eppsa and the rest of the victims pass over, Neta and Evren are left. Evren will grow into a serial killer like his dad. Maybe he kills something in the basement or has a collection of dead animals in the basement.

REVEAL: Evren is going to be a serial killer when he becomes an adult.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Character Action Tracks!

What I learned from doing this assignment is I tried to think of the character actions as I was creating my outline. I had notes in my outline, so I didn’t get lost and/or to make sure things worked. My outline is getting stronger with each pass.

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year and sells them to producers who are eager to make my vision a reality by bringing my scripts to completion so everyone can watch my movies on the big screen.

Concept: While at a funeral, a professional mourner is told by the deceased they were murdered, but when no one believes the mourner, she decides to find and stop the serial killer before he kills his next victim, only to discover she is a ghost and is the mother of the serial killer.

Title: Justice from the Grave

Genre: Supernatural Thriller

ACT 1: Flashes of two men in a church sanctuary struggle with a knife. No faces are shown. One is stabbed in the chest. The other has his arm sliced open.

Hayden AJ 1: Hayden sneaks into Lonnie’s office. When he puts a knife against Lonnie’s neck, Lonnie hits Hayden in the head with a Bible. Hayden’s nose bleeds profusely. Hayden says at least he can’t smell that awful cologne anymore. Hayden says he was not going let him suffer, but since his DNA is all over, Lonnie’s going to be painful.

Lonnie PJ 1: Lonnie says he thought Evren was telling stories about Hayden being like Captain Ahab the whale killer, not King Ahab the evil ruler who killed people. Or maybe Evren referenced his dad and Lonnie as Cain and Abel.

DEEPER LAYER: Hayden kills Lonnie because he found out he was a serial killer.

(Maybe Hayden was taken in by Lonnie’s family after the death of his parents?)

Eppsa PJ 1: Eppsa turns and sees the news in the ER waiting room as she goes through the open doors to the ER rooms. The news says Hayden’s a hero for trying to save his minister, Lonnie, who was attacked. Eppsa rushes down the hall and finds a chart with Hayden’s name on it. The bed is empty.

INCITING INCIDENT: Eppsa sees Lonnie’s ghostly body. Hayden disposes of a body he has hidden in his ice cream truck while his son is with him.

Eppsa PJ 2: There’s a code blue. Eppsa jumps when the alarms sound. Doctors and nurses flood a room. She watches Lonnie exit the room. He looks at her like he’s confused and disappears. Eppsa panics and runs away.

DEEPER LAYER: Lonnie knows that Eppsa is a ghost, but Eppsa doesn’t know she’s dead.

Eppsa PJ 3: Dressed in all black, Eppsa goes to Lonnie’s funeral. She cries for Lonnie and his family. She sees Lonnie and is frightened. He pleads for her to come over. He waves his Bible. She reluctantly talks to him.

Lonnie PJ 2: Lonnie tells Eppsa he was a minister. He jokes that he was a good one, too. Since she can see him, he needs her help. He doesn’t remember his attacker, but he knows the name of the next victim.

Hayden AJ 2: Evren, Hayden’s young son, takes money from a customer. Hayden removes an ice cream bar and popsicle stored next to a dead body in the freezer of his ice cream truck. The ice cream is getting soft. The body made it too warm. The red popsicle drips across the floor. He hands the ice cream to the kids. He smiles as he licks the red popsicle oozing down his hand. He drives to a dilapidated area. Evren eats ice cream and plays a video game in the front seat while Hayden drags the body into an abandoned warehouse. The man has slits up his wrists. He wants to stop at the flower shop for his wife because they are late.

TURNING POINT 1: Eppsa discovers Lonnie gave her the correct name. Lonnie meets with the victim at the cemetery.

Eppsa PJ 4: In the obituary, Eppsa reads the name of the man Lonnie gave her. The man killed himself by slitting his wrists. She cries.

Lonnie PJ 3: Lonnie meets with the ghost of the man in the freezer. Lonnie holds his Bible in one hand and wraps his other arm around the man. They disappear.

ACT 2: Eppsa contacts the police. Lonnie informs Eppsa that the cops should be looking for a serial killer. Hayden goes to the police station to give a composite sketch. Then, he kills another victim.

Eppsa PJ 5: Eppsa goes to the cemetery. She calls out for Lonnie. She says not to ignore her like everyone else seems to. Annoyed, she tells Lonnie the man killed himself. Stop playing games.

Lonnie PJ 4: Lonnie says the name of the victim just came to him. Knowing things is part of the spirit world, but spirits don’t always know everything. Eppsa doesn’t believe him. He says someone should notify the police to investigate.

Hayden AJ 3: Hayden cleans out his ice cream truck. He gets a call from the police to come in and do a sketch. He rolls his eyes or chuckles at them.

Eppsa PJ 6: Eppsa calls the police. They have a bad connection, and they tell her to call back. She calls again. It’s staticky. They tell her to come in. Lonnie, very faint, appears in Eppsa’s house. Startled, she jumps. She wants Lonnie to stay away.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: The cop only hears static on the phone because she’s a ghost.

Hayden AJ 4: Hayden describes a man for the cops’ sketch at the police station. Hayden retells his lie, stating when he chased the man away, when he was trying to kill Lonnie, the man slashed his arm.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden is a good liar and manipulator. People love him.

Eppsa PJ 7: Eppsa is at the busy police station waiting to talk to someone. No one listens to her. She checks her watch. A cop, sitting at a desk, points in her direction and motions her over. (She passes by Hayden in a chair but doesn’t notice him because he’s not facing her and he’s wearing a hat.)

Hayden AJ 5: The cops want to give him an award for being a good Samaritan. He shivers and tells a cop it’s drafty in the station. He leaves.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: He feels the spirit of his mother.

Eppsa PJ 8: Eppsa hears a cop yell after Hayden for his good work. She turns away from the cop that “called” her over and rushes after Hayden. He’s gone. In the parking lot, she overhears cops saying these last few deaths were because they tried TikTok challenges.

Eppsa PJ 9: Eppsa goes to the cemetery to tell Lonnie he’s wrong. There isn’t a serial killer. The slew of deaths is from TikTok challenges. She questions his belief in God. He should want to go. She won’t hang around earth when she dies. Heaven is beautiful. Lonnie needs to stop holding on and pass over like a good spirit.

Lonnie PJ 5: Lonnie gets mad that she thinks he’s lying. He tells her the name of the next victim and says there’s more to come. He vanishes.

Eppsa PJ 10: Eppsa turns to Clover. Eppsa thinks Lonnie is confused and wants to see if Clover can help Lonnie pass over. Clover and Eppsa have met on several occasions. Eppsa believes she is sitting at the table with Clover as a person. Clover tells Eppsa she won’t accept money because Eppsa is selfless and is always trying to help people. Clover knows Eppsa can’t pay because she’s a spirit.

Hayden AJ 6: Hayden goes camping with Neta and Evren. After fishing, Hayden makes Evren kill and clean the fish he caught. Hayden rationalizes killing to Evren.

Eppsa PJ 11: While Eppsa is looking at a map of Kestner’s in the area, a neighbor stops by to visit. They say it seems like years since they’ve seen each other (that’s because Eppsa died years ago). The neighbor had been on a trip. The neighbor died while in Nepal. The neighbor and Eppsa don’t know either of them are ghosts. The neighbor tells her about her trip to Mt. Everest. She had gotten altitude sickness while climbing. She said the rescue team thought she was going to die. She doesn’t remember the rescue team bringing her down or her trip home, but she’s fully recovered now.

Lonnie PJ 6: Lonnie sees a little girl at a funeral. The little girl is alive and at her dad’s funeral. He knows Eppsa won’t listen to him, so he wants the little girl to pass a message on to Eppsa. He describes Eppsa, who is always dressed in a black pants outfit and carries a white rose. The next victim is a member of the church. Eppsa must find him now before he dies. Lonnie disappears.

Eppsa PJ 12: Eppsa goes to the funeral of the man stored in Hayden’s ice cream truck. The little girl speaks to Eppsa. The girl tells Eppsa the name of another victim Lonnie gave her. Eppsa tells her they are dying because of TikTok videos, not a serial killer. The little girl pleads with Eppsa. Eppsa decides to prove Lonnie wrong. She rushes into the church to find the address of the church member on the computer. Papers in the office move while she’s in there looking. She types on the computer. The name and address appear. A minister, Palmer McKee, enters. She apologizes for being where she’s not supposed to be. She goes to find the man.

Hayden AJ 7: Hayden argues with a man about their high school days while the man is on a chair with a rope tied around his neck. Hayden tips the chair. The guy dies. Hayden ducks back into the ice cream truck where Evren is waiting.

Lonnie PJ 7: Lonnie tells the little girl it’s too late. He wishes he can stop the killer, but he isn’t strong enough. The mother calls her daughter back. Lonnie disappears, and the little girl walks off with her mom, hand in hand.

Eppsa PJ 13: Eppsa walks up to the front door and knocks. No answer. It’s locked. She goes around back. The door is locked. She looks in the window and sees the man dangling. The man’s wife enters the front door, walks into the kitchen, sees him, and screams. Eppsa runs.

TURNING POINT 2 / MIDPOINT: Eppsa talks to a psychic. Hayden is looking for his next victim.

Hayden AJ 8: Hayden throws Evren (8) a birthday party. One of the kids, a year younger than Evren, is invited. The dad was Hayden’s friend from school and will be another victim near the end. Hayden is chummy with his old friend, but secretly he’s getting information to find him later to kill him.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden wanted to make sure Evren’s friend’s dad was actually one of his friends from school who had moved back to town.

Eppsa PJ 14: Eppsa goes back to Clover to help Lonnie pass over. Clover channels Lonnie.

Lonnie PJ 8: Lonnie talks to Clover while Eppsa is “visiting” Clover. Lonnie has low energy, and Clover can’t hear him very clearly. He tells them he wants to go but it’s impossible to go unless the killer is stopped. God knows he’s here and was told he will be a key in stopping the killer. It’s all in God’s time.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Clover can talk to Eppsa and Lonnie because she can channel them. Eppsa has a strong presence on earth because of unfinished business. Lonnie wants to move on and has a foot here and a foot on the other side.

Hayden AJ 9: Hayden and Evren go to the soup kitchen in the ice cream truck. They pass out food. Hayden inquires about his next victim, who hasn’t shown up to the soup kitchen in a while. The homeless man was hospitalized, but he will be released soon. They thank Hayden for being so thoughtful.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden’s searching for his next victim.

Eppsa PJ 15: Eppsa hears a scream and a crash outside her house. She rushes outside. Her neighbor runs up the steps. She tried to move out of the way of the bicyclist, but when the bicyclist swerved, she fell into the street. She needs to call 911. The 911 operator can’t hear her on the phone. Her friend is shaken and rests on the couch. Eppsa rushes outside to help. There’s a swarm of people and a police siren in the distance. She sees the ghost of a young woman walking away from the accident. The young woman looks at Eppsa and signals her over. Eppsa is afraid. The young girl disappears. Eppsa freaks out and slams her door. She tells her neighbor to rest because the bicyclist will be okay.

Hayden AJ 10: Hayden receives a Good Samaritan award at the police station.

ACT 3: Eppsa discovers Hayden was friends with all the victims and fears he is on the list. Hayden kills another person or two, and his son witnesses one of the killings. Lonnie helps Eppsa realize she’s a ghost.

Eppsa PJ 16: Eppsa attends the funeral of the man she saw hanging.

Lonnie PJ 9: Lonnie sees Eppsa at the funeral. Eppsa wants to be left alone. She can’t stop everyone from committing suicide. Lonnie tells her that all the victims graduated from the same high school. (They are all 29 and 30 when they died.) He knows it’s a serial killer. Eppsa is now worried Hayden’s life is in jeopardy.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Eppsa realizes they all went to school with Hayden. She must protect him from the serial killer.

Hayden AJ 11: Hayden takes Evren hunting. Evren shoots the rabbit. It’s only hurt. Hayden makes Evren kill the rabbit so it doesn’t suffer.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden is grooming Evren.

Eppsa PJ 17: She talks to Clover trying to get answers and find Hayden before he becomes a victim of the serial killer. Clover senses a dark spirit around Hayden, but she can’t find him. Eppsa also wants to speak to her dead husband, thinking he might be able to help her. Clover can’t see into the darkness where his soul lingers.

Lonnie PJ 10: Lonnie walks through the church. He tells the statue of Jesus he wants to go to the other side, but he knows he must stay to help Eppsa. He asks for guidance.

Eppsa PJ 18: Eppsa’s neighbor comes over to talk. Eppsa tells her about Lonnie. Her neighbor says Lonnie is a confused spirit. Or he’s mad because he can’t pass over. She had read that somewhere.

Hayden AJ 12: Hayden brings Evren to the cemetery. Hayden tells Evren about his amazing grandfather, and Evren is just like him.

Lonnie PJ 11: Lonnie sees Hayden and Evren. He recognizes Hayden. He rushes at him but can’t do anything. Hayden senses Lonnie’s spirit. He smells his cologne. Hayden laughs at Lonnie.

TURNING POINT 3: Eppsa is depressed she can’t find Hayden.

Eppsa PJ 19: Eppsa has a list of all the Kestner’s in the nearby towns. Each name, with the address and phone number, is crossed off, except one. She crosses the last one off. There’s a map with “X’s” on it throughout the cities surrounding her house.

Hayden AJ 13: Hayden kills another victim who is a homeless man that attends the soup kitchen.

Eppsa PJ 20: Eppsa goes to church to pray. She sees a woman cry while praying. The woman takes her to her grandson’s gravesite. Her grandson was born the same year as her son and died the year before their high school graduation. The woman wants to find the killer because she knows her grandson didn’t kill himself. Eppsa recognizes the picture of the kid on the headstone in his letterman jacket.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: This was Hayden’s first victim in high school. All the victims and Hayden were exceptional soccer players.

Lonnie PJ 12: Lonnie sees Eppsa with the woman. When she’s finished with the woman, Eppsa goes over to Lonnie. He tells Eppsa that other victims are waiting to pass over. She needs to help them.

Hayden AJ 14: Hayden and his family play games at home.

Eppsa PJ 21: Eppsa, depressed and worried, goes to the church to talk to the minister, Palmer McKee, about Lonnie. She wants to know how to get him to pass over. She thinks there must be something in the Bible to help him. She could suggest Lonnie’s a demon. She just wants to find her son. Palmer gives her advice.

Hayden AJ 15: A woman buys ice cream. She sees blood inside the truck. She says she’s an inspector for food trucks. He blames it on a melted red popsicle. She wants to get his information and inspect his truck. Evren walks up as Hayden kills the food truck inspector. Hayden explains it’s okay and that he will understand better when he’s an adult.

Eppsa PJ 22: Eppsa is the only one who attends the homeless man’s funeral.

Lonnie PJ 13: Lonnie talks to Clover, who tells him he must tell Eppsa the truth.

ACT 4: Eppsa learns she’s a ghost and was murdered by her husband. She forces Hayden to kill himself.

Eppsa PJ 23: Eppsa goes to the cemetery for answers.

Lonnie PJ 14: Lonnie tells Eppsa that Hayden is the serial killer. She doesn’t believe it. Lonnie tells her Hayden has one more victim. She must kill Hayden. Lonnie tells her to go home where she will find all the answers to her questions. If she doesn’t do it, he will haunt her forever.

Hayden AJ 16: Hayden and his wife, Neta, have a fight. She discovered the truth when Evren said something to her. She fears Evren might become like him because he killed a squirrel and skinned it. Evren told her his dad said it’s okay to kill, just don’t let it suffer when you do it. Neta can’t continue to live a lie. She’s going to turn him in. Hayden says there’s no proof of anything. Besides, he won’t hesitate to kill Evren and her if she even thinks about going to the cops.

Eppsa PJ 24: Eppsa returns home. The house is dilapidated. There are old newspapers inside the doorway. One headline states she was killed in a murder-suicide. Now, she remembers. Infuriate, she calls Hayden on the phone and tells him to come home.

Hayden AJ 17: Hayden, in disbelief, goes to his old house. Eppsa reveals herself. Hayden explains why he killed his first victim and then had to kill pastor Palmer McKee. She’s sorry she didn’t see he had mental problems. His dad was giving her problems, and she didn’t have time to focus on him. She forces him to kill himself to stop the cycle. He says something about the cycle will never end.

Eppsa PJ 25: Eppsa goes to her gravesite and sees the headstone where she and her husband are buried. She mourns for herself and her son. She calls out to her neighbor, who is patiently waiting. Eppsa takes her neighbor to visit her new gravesite. Lonnie appears.

Lonnie PJ 15: Eppsa, Lonnie, and Eppsa’s neighbor pass on, along with the other victims, including the grandmother of the first victim, and pastor Palmer McKee who was Hayden’s second victim years ago.

Resolution: After Hayden dies and Eppsa and the rest of the victims pass over, Hayden’s wife and son are left. Evren will grow into a serial killer like his dad. Maybe he kills his mom.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s New Outline Beats!

What I learned from doing this assignment is I didn’t have plot holes, but I had weak areas that needed to be flushed out and strengthened.

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year and sells them to producers who are eager to make my vision a reality by bringing my scripts to completion so everyone can watch my movies on the big screen.

Concept: While at a funeral, a professional mourner is told by the deceased they were murdered, but when no one believes the mourner, she decides to find and stop the serial killer before he kills his next victim, only to discover she is a ghost and is the mother of the serial killer.

Title: Justice from the Grave

Genre: Supernatural Thriller

ACT 1: Flashes of two men in a church sanctuary struggle with a knife. No faces are shown. One is stabbed in the chest. The other has his arm sliced open.

Hayden AJ 1: Hayden kills Lonnie.

Lonnie PJ 1: Lonnie is killed by Hayden.

DEEPER LAYER: Hayden kills Lonnie because he found out he was a serial killer. (Maybe Hayden’s son, Evren, says something to Lonnie.)

Eppsa PJ 1: Eppsa sees the news in the ER as she enters the hallway. It shows Hayden’s a hero trying to save his minister, Lonnie, who was attacked. Eppsa looks at a chart with his name on it. The bed is empty.

INCITING INCIDENT: Eppsa sees Lonnie’s ghostly body. Hayden disposes of a body he has hidden in his ice cream truck while his son is with him.

Eppsa PJ 2: There’s a code blue. Eppsa watches Lonnie exit a room. He looks at her and disappears.

DEEPER LAYER: Lonnie knows that Eppsa is a ghost, but Eppsa doesn’t know she’s dead.

Eppsa PJ 3: Eppsa goes to Lonnie’s funeral.

Lonnie PJ 2: Lonnie tells Eppsa that since she can see him, he needs her help. He doesn’t remember his attacker, but he knows the name of the next victim.

Hayden AJ 2: Evren, Hayden’s young son, takes money from a customer. Hayden removes an ice cream bar stored next to a dead body in the freezer of his ice cream truck and hands the ice cream to a child. That night, they drive over a bridge. Evren eats ice cream and plays a video game in the front seat while Hayden tosses the body over the bridge.

TURNING POINT 1: Eppsa discovers Lonnie gave her the correct name. Lonnie meets with the victim at the cemetery.

Eppsa PJ 4: In the obituary, Eppsa reads the name of the man Lonnie gave her.

Lonnie PJ 3: Lonnie meets with the ghost of the man in the freezer. They disappear.

ACT 2: Eppsa contacts the police. Lonnie informs Eppsa that the cops should be looking for a serial killer. Hayden goes to the police station to give a composite sketch. Then, he kills another victim.

Eppsa PJ 5: Eppsa calls the police. They have a bad connection, and they tell her to call back. She calls again. It’s staticky. They tell her to come in. Lonnie, very faint, appears in Eppsa’s house. She jumps and then tells him she’s going to the police to file a report.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: The cop only hears static on the phone because she’s a ghost.

Hayden AJ 3: Hayden gives a statement or does a sketch for the cops at the police station. Hayden lies and claims he chased the man away who killed Lonnie and slashed his arm.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden is a good liar and manipulator. People love him.

Eppsa PJ 6: Eppsa is at the busy police station waiting to talk to someone. No one listens to her. She checks her watch. Someone points in her direction and motions her over. (She passes by Hayden in a chair but doesn’t notice him because he’s not facing her and he’s wearing a hat.)

Hayden AJ 4: The cops want to give him an award for being a good Samaritan. He shivers and tells a cop it’s drafty in the station.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: He feels the spirit of his mother.

Eppsa PJ 7: Eppsa hears a cop yell after Hayden for his good work. She walks away from the cop that “called” her over and rushes after Hayden. He’s gone. She overhears cops saying these last few deaths were because they tried TikTok challenges.

Eppsa PJ 8: Eppsa goes to the cemetery and tells Lonnie he’s wrong. There isn’t a serial killer, and he needs to move on.

Lonnie PJ 4: Lonnie gets mad that she thinks he’s lying or something. He tells her the name of the last victim and says there’s more to come. He leaves.

Eppsa PJ 9: Eppsa turns to Clover. Eppsa thinks Lonnie is confused and wants to see if Clover can help Lonnie pass over.

Hayden AJ 5: Hayden goes camping with Neta and Evren. After fishing, Hayden makes Evren kill and clean the fish he caught. Hayden rationalizes killing to Evren.

Eppsa PJ 10: While Eppsa is looking at a map of Kestner’s in the area, a neighbor stops by to visit. They say it seems like years since they’ve seen each other (that’s because Eppsa died years ago). The neighbor had been on a trip. The neighbor died while in Europe. The neighbor and Eppsa don’t know they are both ghosts. The neighbor tells her about her trip to Mt. Everest. She had gotten ??? from climbing. She was extremely sick and weak. They thought she was going to die. She doesn’t remember the rescue team bringing her down or her trip home, but she’s fully recovered now.

Lonnie PJ 5: Lonnie sees a girl at a funeral. Eppsa isn’t listening to him, so he wants the little girl to pass a message on to Eppsa. The next victim is a member of the church. Eppsa must find him now. Eppsa shows up, and Lonnie disappears.

Eppsa PJ 11: Eppsa goes to the funeral of the man in Hayden’s ice cream truck freezer. She speaks to the little girl. (I don’t know if the little girl is alive and can see ghosts or if she’s a ghost, too.) The girl tells Eppsa the name of another victim Lonnie gave her. Eppsa tells her they are dying because of TikTok videos, not a serial killer. She’s going to prove Lonnie is wrong. Eppsa rushes into the church to find the address of the church member on the computer.

Hayden AJ 6: Hayden argues with a man about their high school days while the man is on a chair with a rope tied around his neck. Hayden tips the chair. The guy dies. Hayden ducks back into the ice cream truck where Evren is waiting.

Lonnie PJ 6: Lonnie tells the little girl it’s too late. He wishes he could stop the killer, but he isn’t strong enough. Lonnie disappears, and the little girl goes off with her mom.

Eppsa PJ 12: Eppsa walks up to the front door and knocks. No answer. It’s locked. She goes around back. The door is locked. She looks in the window and sees the man dangling. The man’s wife enters the front door, walks into the kitchen, sees him, and screams. Eppsa runs.

TURNING POINT 2 / MIDPOINT: Eppsa talks to a psychic. Hayden is looking for his next victim.

Hayden AJ 7: Hayden throws Evren a birthday party. One of the kids invited was Hayden’s friend from school and will be another victim near the end.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden wanted to make sure Evren’s friend’s dad was actually one of his friends from school who had moved back to town.

Eppsa PJ 13: Eppsa goes back to Clover to help Lonnie pass over. Clover channels Lonnie. He tells them he wants to go but is staying until the killer is stopped.

Lonnie PJ 7: Lonnie talks to Clover while Eppsa is “visiting” Clover. Lonnie has low energy, and Clover can’t hear him very clearly.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Clover can talk to Eppsa and Lonnie because she can channel them. Eppsa has a strong presence on earth because of unfinished business. Lonnie wants to move on and has a foot here and a foot on the other side.

Hayden AJ 8: Hayden and Evren go to the soup kitchen in the ice cream truck.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden’s searching for his next victim.

Eppsa PJ 14: Eppsa hears a crash outside her house. She rushes to see. She calls the police. They can’t hear her on the phone. She rushes outside to help. There’s a swarm of people and a police siren in the distance. She sees the ghost of a young woman walking away from the accident. The young woman looks at Eppsa and signals her over. Eppsa is afraid. The young girl disappears. Eppsa freaks out and slams her door.

Hayden AJ 9: Hayden receives a Good Samaritan award.

ACT 3: Eppsa discovers Hayden was friends with all the victims and fears he is on the list. Hayden kills another person or two, and his son witnesses one of the killings. Lonnie helps Eppsa realize she’s a ghost.

Eppsa PJ 15: Eppsa attends the funeral of the man she saw hanging.

Lonnie PJ 8: Lonnie sees Eppsa at the funeral. Lonnie tells her that all the victims graduated from the same high school. (They are all 29 and 30 when they died.) Eppsa is now worried Hayden’s life is in jeopardy.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Eppsa realizes they all went to school with Hayden. She must protect him from the serial killer.

Hayden AJ 10: Hayden takes Evren hunting. Evren shoots the rabbit; it’s only hurt. Hayden makes Evren kill the rabbit so it doesn’t suffer.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden is grooming Evren.

Eppsa PJ 16: She talks to Clover trying to get answers and find Hayden before he becomes a victim of the serial killer. Clover senses a dark spirit around Hayden, but she can’t find him. Eppsa also wants to speak to her dead husband, thinking he might be able to help her.

Lonnie PJ 9: Lonnie walks through the church. He tells the statue of Jesus he wants to go to the other side, but he knows he must stay to help Eppsa.

Eppsa PJ 17: Eppsa’s neighbor comes over to talk. Eppsa tells her about Lonnie. Her neighbor says Lonnie is confused. Or he’s mad because he can’t pass over. She had read that somewhere.

Hayden AJ 11: Hayden brings Evren to the cemetery. Hayden tells Evren about his amazing grandfather, and Evren is just like him.

Lonnie PJ 10: Lonnie sees Hayden and Evren. He recognizes Hayden. He rushes at him but can’t do anything. Hayden senses Lonnie’s spirit. He laughs at the spirit who is around him. Maybe Hayden smells something that reminds him of Lonnie.

TURNING POINT 3: Eppsa is depressed she can’t find Hayden.

Eppsa PJ 18: Eppsa has a list of all the Kestner’s in the nearby towns. Each name, with the address and phone number, is crossed off, except one. She crosses the last one off. There’s a map with “X’s” on it.

Hayden AJ 12: Hayden kills another victim who is a homeless man that attends the soup kitchen.

Eppsa PJ 19: Eppsa goes to church to pray. She sees a woman cry while praying. The woman takes her to her grandson’s gravesite. Her grandson was born the same year as her son and died the year before their high school graduation. The woman wants to find the killer because she knows her grandson didn’t kill himself. Eppsa recognizes the picture of the kid on the headstone in his letterman jacket.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: This was Hayden’s first victim in high school. All the victims and Hayden were exceptional soccer players.

Lonnie PJ 11: Lonnie sees Eppsa with the woman. When she’s finished with the woman, Eppsa goes over to Lonnie. He tells Eppsa that two other victims are waiting to pass over. She needs to help them.

Hayden AJ 13: Hayden and his family play games at home.

Eppsa PJ 20: Eppsa, depressed and worried, goes to the church to talk to the minister, Palmer McKee, about Lonnie. She wants to know how to get him to pass over. There must be something in the Bible, or maybe Lonnie’s a demon.

Hayden AJ 14: A woman buys ice cream. She sees blood inside the truck. She says she’s an inspector for food trucks. Evren walks up as Hayden kills the food truck inspector. Hayden explains it’s okay and that he will understand better when he’s an adult.

Eppsa PJ 21: Eppsa is the only one who attends the homeless man’s funeral.

Lonnie PJ 12: Lonnie talks to Clover, who tells him he must tell Eppsa the truth.

ACT 4: Eppsa learns she’s a ghost and was murdered by her husband. She forces Hayden to kill himself.

Eppsa PJ 22: Eppsa goes to the cemetery for answers.

Lonnie PJ 13: Lonnie tells Eppsa that Hayden is the serial killer. She doesn’t believe it. Lonnie tells her Hayden has one more victim. She must kill Hayden. Lonnie tells her to go home, where she will find all the answers to her questions.

Hayden AJ 15: Hayden and his wife, Neta, fight. She discovered the truth when Evren said something to her. She fears Evren might become like him because he killed a mouse (or something or many things) and skinned it. Evren told her Hayden said it’s okay to kill something, so it doesn’t have to suffer. She’s going to turn him in. Or she thinks Evren has emotional problems and might turn into a serial killer.

Eppsa PJ 23: Eppsa returns home. The house is dilapidated. She calls Hayden on the phone and tells him to come home.

Hayden AJ 16: Hayden, in disbelief, goes to his old house. Eppsa reveals herself. She forces him to kill himself.

Eppsa PJ 22: Eppsa goes to her gravesite and sees the headstone where she and her husband are buried. She passes on.

Lonnie PJ 14: Lonnie passes on along with the other victims, the grandmother of the first victim, and pastor Palmer McKee who was Hayden’s second victim.

Resolution: Eppsa and Lonnie pass over. Hayden dies and leaves his wife and son (who was being groomed to turn into a serial killer as an adult).

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1

What I learned from doing this assignment is showing the journey helps keep a story from having plot holes and to make sure the story flows. It’s difficult going back and forth between assignments trying to find the journeys, conventions, etc. of my characters. I hope I don’t miss anything.

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year and sells them to producers who are eager to make my vision a reality by bringing my scripts to completion so everyone can watch my movies on the big screen.

Concept: While at a funeral, a professional mourner is told by the deceased they were murdered, but when no one believes the mourner, she decides to find and stop the serial killer before he kills his next victim, only to discover she is a ghost and is the mother of the serial killer.

Title: Justice from the Grave

Genre: Supernatural Thriller

ACT 1: Flashes of two men in a church sanctuary struggle with a knife. No faces are shown. One is stabbed in the chest. The other has his arm sliced open.

Hayden AJ 1: Hayden kills Lonnie.

Lonnie PJ 1: Lonnie is killed by Hayden.

DEEPER LAYER: Hayden kills Lonnie because he found out he was a serial killer. (Maybe Hayden’s son, Evren, says something to Lonnie.)

Eppsa PJ 1: Eppsa sees the news in the ER as she enters the hallway. It shows Hayden’s a hero trying to save his minister, Lonnie, who was attacked. Eppsa looks at a chart with his name on it. The bed is empty.

INCITING INCIDENT: Eppsa sees Lonnie’s ghostly body. Hayden disposes of a body he has hidden in his ice cream truck while his son is with him.

Eppsa PJ 2: There’s a code blue. Eppsa watches Lonnie exit a room. He looks at her and disappears.

DEEPER LAYER: Lonnie knows that Eppsa is dead, but Eppsa doesn’t know she’s dead.

Eppsa PJ 3: Eppsa goes to Lonnie’s funeral.

Lonnie PJ 2: Lonnie tells Eppsa that since she can see him, he needs her help. He doesn’t remember his attacker, but he knows the name of the next victim.

Hayden AJ 2: Evren, Hayden’s young son, takes money from a customer. Hayden removes an ice cream bar stored next to a dead body in the freezer of his ice cream truck and hands the ice cream to a child. That night, they drive over a bridge. Evren eats ice cream and plays a video game in the front seat while Hayden tosses the body over the bridge.

TURNING POINT 1: Eppsa discovers Lonnie gave her the correct name. Lonnie meets with the victim at the cemetery.

Eppsa PJ 4: In the obituary, Eppsa reads the name of the man Lonnie gave her.

Lonnie PJ 3: Lonnie meets with the ghost of the man in the freezer. They disappear.

ACT 2: Eppsa contacts the police. Lonnie informs Eppsa that the cops should be looking for a serial killer. Hayden goes to the police station to give a composite sketch. Then, he kills another victim.

Eppsa PJ 5: Eppsa calls the police. They have a bad connection, and they tell her to call back. She calls again. It’s staticky. They tell her to come in.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: The cop only hears static because she’s a ghost.

Hayden AJ 3: Hayden gives a statement or does a sketch for the cops at the police station. Hayden lies and claims he chased the man away who killed Lonnie and slashed his arm.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden is a good liar and manipulator. People love him.

Eppsa PJ 6: Eppsa is at the busy police station waiting to talk to someone. No one listens to her. She checks her watch. Someone points in her direction and motions her over. (She passes by Hayden in a chair but doesn’t notice him because he’s not facing her and he’s wearing a hat.)

Hayden AJ 4: The cops want to give him an award for being a good Samaritan. He shivers and tells a cop it’s drafty in the station.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: He feels the spirit of his mother.

Eppsa PJ 6: Eppsa hears a cop yell after Hayden for his good work. She turns from the cop that supposedly called her over and rushes after Hayden but misses him.

Lonnie PJ 4: Lonnie sees a girl at a funeral. He must go somewhere or do something (possibly rest because he’s tired), but he wants her to pass a message on to Eppsa.

Eppsa PJ 7: Eppsa goes to a funeral. She speaks to the little girl. (I don’t know if the little girl is alive and can see ghosts or if she’s a ghost, too.) The girl tells Eppsa the name of another victim. Eppsa rushes into the church to find the address of the church member on the computer.

Hayden AJ 5: Hayden argues with a man about their past while the man is on a chair with a rope tied around his neck. Hayden tips the chair. The guy dies. Hayden ducks back into the ice cream truck where Evren is waiting.

Lonnie PJ 5: Lonnie tells the little girl it’s too late. Lonnie disappears, and the little girl goes off with her mom.

Eppsa PJ 8: Eppsa walks up to the front door and knocks. No answer. It’s locked. She goes around back. The door is locked. She looks in the window and sees the man dangling. The man’s wife enters the front door, walks into the kitchen, sees him, and screams. Eppsa runs.

TURNING POINT 2 / MIDPOINT: Eppsa talks to a psychic. Hayden is looking for his next victim.

Hayden AJ 5: Hayden throws Evren a birthday party. One of the kids invited was Hayden’s friend from school and will be another victim near the end.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden wanted to make sure Evren’s friend’s dad was actually one of his friends from school who had moved back to town.

Eppsa PJ 9: Eppsa turns to Clover to see if Clover can help reveal the name of the serial killer. Clover can’t help her. She channels Lonnie and a few other people.

Lonnie PJ 6: Lonnie talks to Clover while Eppsa is “visiting” Clover. Lonnie has low energy, and Clover can’t hear him very clearly.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Clover can talk to Eppsa and Lonnie because she can channel them. Eppsa has a strong presence on earth because of unfinished business. Lonnie wants to move on and has a foot here and a foot on the other side.

Hayden AJ 6: Hayden and Evren go to the soup kitchen in the ice cream truck.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden’s searching for his next victim.

Eppsa PJ 10: Eppsa hears a crash outside her house. She rushes to see. She calls the police. They can hear her on the phone. She rushes outside to help. There’s a swarm of people and a police siren in the distance. She sees the ghost of a young woman walking away from the accident. The young woman looks at Eppsa and signals her over. Eppsa is afraid. The young girl disappears. Eppsa freaks out and slams her door.

ACT 3: Eppsa discovers Hayden was friends with all the victims and fears he is on the list. Hayden kills another person or two, and his son witnesses one of the killings. Lonnie helps Eppsa realize she’s a ghost.

Eppsa PJ 11: Eppsa attends the funeral of the man she saw hanging.

Lonnie PJ 7: Lonnie sees Eppsa at the funeral. Lonnie tells her that all the victims graduated from the same high school. (They are all 29 and 30 when they died.)

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Eppsa realizes they all went to school with Hayden. She must protect him from the serial killer.

Hayden AJ 7: Hayden takes Evren fishing. He makes Evren kill the fish he caught. Don’t let the fish suffer. He tells Evren that sometimes it’s okay to kill.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden is grooming Evren.

Eppsa PJ 12: She talks to Clover trying to get answers and find Hayden before he becomes a victim of the serial killer. She also wants to speak to her dead husband, thinking he might be able to help her.

Lonnie PJ 8: Lonnie wants to go to the other side. He’s pulled back and forth. He’s tired.

Hayden AJ 8: Hayden receives a Good Samaritan award.

TURNING POINT 3: Eppsa is depressed. She discovers she has a grandson.

Eppsa PJ 13: Eppsa goes to church to pray. She sees a woman cry while praying. The woman looks at her. They talk. The woman takes her to her grandson’s gravesite. Her grandson was born the same year as her son and died the year before their high school graduation. The woman wants to find the killer because she knows her grandson didn’t kill himself. Eppsa recognizes the picture of the kid on the headstone in his letterman jacket.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: This was Hayden’s first victim in high school. All the victims and Hayden were exceptional soccer players.

Lonnie AJ 8: Lonnie tells Eppsa the serial killer is Hayden. She can’t believe it.

Hayden AJ 9: Hayden kills another victim who is a homeless man that attends the soup kitchen.

Eppsa PJ 14: Eppsa is at the church. She is depressed and worried. She talks to the minister, Palmer McKee.

Hayden AJ 10: Hayden and Evren make their rounds in the ice cream truck. They park across the street from the church where Eppsa sees them.

Eppsa PJ 15: Eppsa calls and runs after Hayden and Evren, but she can’t catch up. This is when she discovers she has a grandson.

Lonnie PJ 9: Lonnie talks to Clover, who tells him he must tell Eppsa the truth.

ACT 4: Eppsa learns she’s a ghost and was murdered by her husband. She forces Hayden to kill himself.

Eppsa PJ 16: Eppsa talks to Lonnie.

Lonnie PJ 10: Lonnie takes Eppsa to her gravesite and shows her the headstone where she and her husband are buried.

Hayden AJ 11: Hayden kills someone. Evren sees. Hayden explains it’s okay and that he will understand better when he’s an adult.

Eppsa PJ 17: Eppsa returns home. The house is dilapidated. She calls Hayden on the phone and tells her to come home.

Hayden AJ 12: Hayden goes to his old house. Eppsa reveals herself. She forces him to kill himself.

Resolution: Eppsa and Lonnie pass over. Hayden dies and leaves his wife and son (who was being groomed to turn into a serial killer as an adult).

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Deeper Layer!

What I learned from doing this assignment is that a great story has layers. I have built in a lot of layers already. I am still playing with some more layering ideas.

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year and sells them to producers who are eager to make my vision a reality by bringing my scripts to completion so everyone can watch my movies on the big screen.

Concept: While at a funeral, a professional mourner is told by the deceased they were murdered, but when no one believes the mourner, she decides to find and stop the serial killer before he kills his next victim, only to discover she is a ghost and is the mother of the serial killer.

Title: Justice from the Grave

Surface Layer: Eppsa is looking for her son and is trying to stop a serial killer.

Deeper Layer: Eppsa is a ghost. She was part of a murder-suicide when she told her husband she knew he was a serial killer. Their son, Hayden, is also a serial killer, which he learned from being around his father. Eppsa must kill Hayden to stop the cycle.

Major Reveal: At the end of the 3^rd Act or the beginning of Act 4, she discovers her son is the serial killer, and she is a ghost.

Influences Surface Story: Lonnie knows she is a ghost from the time he saw her in the hospital. At the cemetery, he tells her that since she can see him, she is the only one who can help him.

Hints: Eppsa talks to ghosts, but she doesn’t know they are ghosts except for Lonnie. The little girl in the cemetery can either see ghosts, or she is a ghost. I haven’t determined it yet. The police can’t hear her on the phone because they hear static.

Changes Reality: When we discover Eppsa is a ghost, she realizes she can’t pass over until she finds her son and kills him to stop his mental issue/evil side of being a serial killer.

Beginning: Eppsa sees the ghost of Lonnie in the hospital.

Inciting Incident: Eppsa talks to Lonnie in the cemetery. Since she can see him, he needs her help. Someone is going to be murdered, and she must stop the killer.

Turning Point 1: She reads an obituary, and Lonnie had given her the correct name of the person who was going to die. They didn’t get murdered; they died by suicide. Later we find out he was killed by Hayden.

Act 2: She can’t find Lonnie. She calls the police. They have a bad connection, and they tell her to call back. She attends the funeral and talks to a little girl. She goes to her husband’s grave but doesn’t go to the front where the names and death dates are shown.

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: The police report people are committing suicide because of TikTok video challenges. At the police station, she sees Hayden who is complaining about how cold it is in the station. Eppsa rushes past a desk to get to Hayden, and papers fall to the floor.

Act 3: She talks to a lady at the church who is mourning the loss of her grandson, who died by suicide. It’s the year Hayden graduated from high school. While crossing the road, she tries to tell a cop someone is going to be murdered, but a person is hit by a car. She sees the ghost of the person who was hit.

Eppsa turns to Clover, who is a psychic, for help. Clover talks to Lonnie by channeling him while she is having a “session” with Eppsa.

Turning Point 3: Lonnie tells her another victim will die tonight. Lonnie had been confused since he died and hasn’t been able to recall everything. The person, who is going to die, was a friend of Hayden’s in high school. Lonnie was a friend of Hayden’s as well. He tells Eppsa that Hayden might be a victim soon.

Act 4 Climax: Eppsa sees a headline in the newspaper. “Husband kills wife in a murder-suicide. The beloved husband was discovered to be a serial killer. Their teenage son was taken in by a church member.”

She discovers Hayden watched her husband kill her and saw her husband commit suicide. She goes to the cemetery and sees the headstone with her name and death date on it.

Eppsa finds Hayden. She either makes him slash his wrists in his ice cream truck, or she lures him back to their old, dilapidated house, where she will make him commit suicide.

Resolution: Eppsa and Lonnie go to Heaven. Hayden’s wife and son, Neta and Evren, await his arrival for his surprise birthday party. Evren plays with a knife next to the cake. He can’t wait to “slice” the cake.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Character Structure

What I learned from doing this assignment is the storyline I had is continually getting stronger because now I know how to integrate the three characters.

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year and sells them to producers who are eager to make my vision a reality by bringing my scripts to completion so everyone can watch my movies on the big screen.

Concept: While at a funeral, a professional mourner is told by the deceased they were murdered, but when no one believes the mourner, she decides to find and stop the serial killer before he kills his next victim, only to discover she is a ghost and is the mother of the serial killer.

Title: Justice from the Grave

Genre: Thriller

Protagonist Character Journey: Eppsa Kestner

Beginning: Eppsa is in the hospital looking for her son, Hayden. She sees a ghost, Lonnie, in the hallway.

Inciting Incident: She sees Lonnie in the cemetery at his funeral. He tells her he was murdered and someone else will be murdered. She must stop the killer.

Turning Point 1: The man Lonnie said was going to be murdered is on the newspaper cover saying he committed suicide.

Act 2: Eppsa calls the police to try to report the murder of Lonnie and possibly the second victim that Lonnie named. The cops keep hanging up on her. The cops on TV say the people committing suicide are just copying TikTok videos. She sees Hayden in the police station and chases after him.

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: She turns to her psychic, Clover, for help.

Act 3: She turns to Lonnie for help finding the serial killers’ victims. She visits her husband’s grave. She leans on the church minister, Palmer McKee, for emotional support.

Turning Point 3: She learns Hayden might be on the serial killers’ list.

Act 4 Climax: She discovers Hayden is the serial killer, and she is a ghost. She kills Hayden to protect his wife and son. His wife, Neta, and son, Evren, are waiting for Hayden at his surprise birthday party when they learn of Hayden’s death.

Resolution: Hayden is dead. Eppsa and Lonnie pass over and go to Heaven.

Protagonist Character Journey: Lonnie Dowic

Beginning: Lonnie dies in the hospital and becomes a ghost who can’t pass over.

Inciting Incident: He meets Eppsa and asks her to help him find his killer. He tells Eppsa the next victim’s name.

Turning Point 1: Lonnie and the next victim meet in the cemetery and vanish.

Act 2: Lonnie talks to a little girl at the cemetery who is attending a funeral. He tells her the next victim’s name and explains she must tell Eppsa when she shows up.

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Lonnie talks to another victim in the cemetery who was just murdered. He warns Eppsa that there will be more victims soon.

Act 3: Lonnie remotely talks to Clover, the psychic, while Eppsa talks to Clover.

Turning Point 3: Lonnie warns Eppsa of another victim. This time it’s one of Hayden’s friends from school. All the victims knew Hayden. He tells her to find the killer because Hayden might be on the list.

Act 4 Climax: Lonnie remembers who killed him. He reveals to Eppsa that she is a ghost and convinces her to kill Hayden before he kills his last victim. Lonnie walks Eppsa over to her grave so she can see the tombstone with her and her husband’s names along with the same death date. She remembers her husband killed her.

Resolution: He passes over and goes to Heaven.

Antagonist Character Journey: Hayden Kestner

Beginning: Two men fight. You don’t know the men are Hayden and Lonnie. It looks like Hayden’s trying to save the man. He is cut down his arm.

Inciting Incident: Hayden ducks out of the hospital with a bandage on his arm. The news says he’s a hero trying to save his friend but was cut in the process.

Turning Point 1: Evren, Hayden’s young son, takes money from a customer. Hayden removes an ice cream bar stored next to a dead body in the freezer of his ice cream truck and hands the ice cream to the customer.

Act 2: Hayden kills another person.

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Hayden gives a statement or helps with a sketch for the cops at the police station. Hayden lies and claims he chased a man away who killed the man and slashed his arm. The cops want to give him an award for being a good Samaritan. He shivers and tells a cop it’s so cold in the station.

Act 3: He goes to the cemetery to his dad’s grave. He feels Lonnie’s presence.

Turning Point 3: Evren witnesses Hayden kill another victim. Hayden explains why it’s okay to kill sometimes and that his dad (Evren’s grandfather) did the same thing.

Act 4 Climax: He comes face to face with his mom, Eppsa. She makes him grab a knife, and he slits his wrists.

Resolution: He dies by suicide in his ice cream truck. Neta and Evren are left. Neta is worried that Evren has a taste for blood like his dad and grandfather.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Supporting Characters

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year and sells them to producers who are eager to make my vision a reality by bringing my scripts to completion so everyone can watch my movies on the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is that the supporting characters must have a purpose. If they do not add to the story, then they should be removed.

Supporting Characters: Clover, Neta Kestner, and Palmer McKee

Background Characters: Cops, doctors/nurses, the ministers and people mourning at funerals, ghosts in the cemetery, kids/ice cream patrons, Hayden’s victims

Support 1:

Name: Clover

Role: Psychic

Main purpose: She advises Eppsa to do whatever it takes.

Value: Clover’s the only living person who talks to Eppsa. Eppsa uses Clover to try to contact her husband but is unsuccessful. She tries to help Eppsa find Hayden. Clover is another person who guides Eppsa to the truth.

Support 2:

Name: Neta Kestner

Role: Hayden’s Wife

Main purpose: To show Hayden’s loving side.

Value: She is Hayden’s calming voice when he gets angry. In the 3rd Act when Neta believes Hayden is a serial killer, he confesses to her and explains that it runs in the family. Now, she must protect Hayden and Evren.

Support 3:

Name: Evren Kestner

Role: Hayden’s son

Main purpose: To show his bond with his son like the bond he had with his dad.

Value: Throughout, Hayden gives clues to Evren regarding his son’s future as a serial killer.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Character Profiles Part 2

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year and sells them to producers who are eager to make my vision a reality by bringing my scripts to completion so everyone can watch my movies on the big screen.

Protagonist: Eppsa Kestner

The High Concept: Eppsa is a ghost who must find and stop a serial killer, only to discover the serial killer is her son.

This character’s journey: Eppsa, who doesn’t know she is a ghost, goes from depressed and mourning to having the courage to hunt down a serial killer. In the end, she learns she is a ghost, her son is the serial killer, and she kills Hayden to stop the serial killer cycle.

The Actor Attractors for this character: Eppsa is a ghost but doesn’t know it. She goes from depressed to anxious and determined to angry. Eppsa doesn’t realize that when she gets mad, things around her move. Eppsa discovers her son is a serial killer, and she kills him for justice.

Role in the Story: Eppsa is determined to save her son from a serial killer. When she discovers he’s the serial killer, she kills him for the justice of his victims.

Age range and Description: Eppsa (40), a desperate woman who looks like she just came from a funeral, runs down the ER hallway.

Core Traits: (Former nurse) A Ghost – Moody, Afraid, In Denial, Courageous

Motivation:

Wants: To find and save her son.

Needs: To kill him.

Wound: She was traumatized by her own death and doesn’t remember that she was killed by her serial killer husband. Also, just before her husband killed her in a murder-suicide, she learned her son was taking after his dad.

Likability: Eppsa is helpful and caring. She wants to protect her son and others from possibly becoming victims of the serial killer.

Relatability: She loves her family.

Empathy: She is a widow and is still looking for her son, who ran away years ago.

Character Subtext:

Subtext Identity: Eppsa is afraid to remember she was killed by her serial killer husband and that her son was following in his father’s footsteps.

Subtext Traits: Loving, Moody, Afraid, In Denial

Subtext Logline: Eppsa is tracking down a serial killer who ends up being her son.

Possible Areas of Subtext: She subconsciously knows she was murdered by her husband but is afraid to remember. She is apprehensive about talking to Lonnie since he’s a ghost. She wants to help Lonnie find his killer. She is worried her son will get murdered since his high school friends are being targeted. She still grieves for her husband. She grieves for her missing son. She feels compelled to find the serial killer to help save people from being murdered.

Character Intrigue:

Unspoken Wound: She was traumatized by her own death and doesn’t remember that she was killed by her serial killer husband. Also, just before her husband killed her in a murder-suicide, she learned her son was taking after his dad.

Secret Identity: She is a ghost but doesn’t know it.

Eppsa is curious about death and what’s it like on the other side. She is compelled to help Lonnie. Hearing about suicide brings her to tears or makes her mad that someone took their own life because life is to be cherished. She wonders why people don’t take her seriously when talking to them. She kills Hayden by making it look like he committed suicide.

Flaw: Can’t face reality.

Values: She loves her family.

Character Dilemma: She wants to believe her son is good but knows he is a serial killer.

Antagonist: Hayden Kestner

The High Concept: Hyden is a serial killer and doesn’t know he is being hunted by his mom, who is a ghost.

This character’s journey: Hayden is a serial killer who drives an ice cream truck. He is killed by his mom.

The Actor Attractors for this character: Hayden dotes on his family and enjoys being the ice cream man. But his greatest joy comes from killing his old high school friends who betrayed him. He will be killed by his mother.

Role in the Story: Hayden is an ice cream man who loves his family. He is killing his old high school friends whom he felt betrayed him. He is being hunted by his ghost mother, who will kill him in the end.

Age range and Description: Hayden (28) pulls down his sleeve to hide his stitches when he grabs an ice cream to serve ice cream to a young customer.

Core Traits: Serial Killer – Charming, Intellectual, Persuasive, Sadistic

Motivation:

Wants: To be a good role model for his son.

Needs: To kill his old classmates who he believes turned on him.

Wound: His dad was a serial killer. He was told by his dad that it runs in the family.

Likability: He loves his wife and son. Hayden is great with children.

Relatability: Hayden was bullied as a teen.

Empathy: He’s good to his wife and son.

Character Subtext:

Subtext Identity: A serial killer who takes after his dad.

Subtext Traits: Charming, Intellectual, Persuasive, Sadistic

Subtext Logline: Hayden is murdering his old friends who betrayed him in high school.

Possible Areas of Subtext: Hayden is a charming ice cream man and also helps at a homeless shelter. He uses his ice cream truck to store and transport bodies (easy to get into neighborhoods without drawing attention like a burglar). He kills a food truck inspector who discovers a body. Hayden makes his victims look like they committed suicide.

Character Intrigue:

Hidden agendas: Kill his high school friends who turned against him when they found out he killed someone and tried to have him arrested.

Secret Identity: He’s a serial killer.

His family adores him, and the staff at the homeless shelter has given him awards. He uses the ice cream truck as a guise to drive through neighborhoods without suspicion. When he killed Lonnie, he almost got caught by a churchgoer. He was treated in the hospital because he slashed his wrist to make it look like Lonnie cut him. He lied and said he was trying to save Lonnie. He’s murdered 3 friends and has 4 more to kill.

Flaw: Cruel to those who betrayed him

Values: Family, Power, Loyalty

Character Dilemma: Retaliates against high school friends versus forgiving them.

Triangle: Lonnie Dowic

The High Concept: Lonnie, one of Hayden’s victims, manipulates Eppsa into finding and stopping Hayden from killing anyone else, so both can pass over.

This character’s journey: Lonnie dies at the hands of Hayden. He helps Eppsa find and stop Hayden from killing by having her kill him.

The Actor Attractors for this character: Lonnie is a ghost and knows that Eppsa is a ghost. He is funny and must find a way to manipulate Eppsa to kill her son.

Role in the Story: A ghost who convinces Eppsa to find and kill Hayden.

Age range and Description: Lonnie (30) closes the Bible at his desk in his church office. Arms wrap around him and stab him in the chest.

OR

Lonnie (30) looks out of place in his polo shirt, slacks, and socks, as he exits an ER room. He pauses, glances up and down the hall, and vanishes.

Core Traits: (Former Minister) A Ghost – Witty, Moralistic, Fearful, Sneaky

Motivation:

Wants: Revenge and to pass over.

Needs: To convince Eppsa to kill Hayden so he and Eppsa can pass over.

Wound: Was killed by Hayden.

Likability: He’s a minister.

Relatability: Even though he’s a ghost, he still wants to help people.

Empathy: He was murdered.

Character Subtext:

Subtext Identity: Lonnie must stop Hayden from killing so he can pass over.

Subtext Traits: Witty, Moralistic, Fearful, Sneaky

Subtext Logline: Lonnie, one of Hayden’s victims, manipulates Eppsa so she can find and stop Hayden from killing anyone else.

Possible Areas of Subtext: Lonnie was a preacher. He’s terrified when he dies. Lonnie lightens the mood around Eppsa to keep her from being depressed. He manipulates Eppsa into finding and killing Hayden.

Character Intrigue:

Hidden agenda: He must help Eppsa stop Hayden before revealing to her she’s a ghost.

Secrets: He knows that Hayden is the serial killer but can’t reveal it to Eppsa because it would traumatize her, and she would never be able to pass over. Lonnie needs to get her to discover the truth about Hayden’s identity so she can stop him.

One of Hayden’s friends finally confesses to his minister, Lonnie, that Hayden made someone kill themselves when they were teens. Lonnie was going to tell the police about Hayden murdering someone when Hayden killed him. Lonnie tells Eppsa the name of each person Hayden will murder as soon as he learns himself. He can’t see into the future who Hayden is going to kill. Lonnie is only able to know the next victim when Hayden decides.

Flaw: Angry and Impatient. Lonnie is frustrated that he can’t do much to help Eppsa so their spirits can move on.

Values: God and High moral standards

Character Dilemma: Get Eppsa to kill Hayden, or he’ll never find peace and go to Heaven.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Likability/Relatability/Empathy

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year and sells them to producers who are eager to make my vision a reality by bringing my scripts to completion so everyone can watch my movies on the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is when my characters have qualities an audience likes, they become fully immersed in the movie. I want my antagonist to have some likable qualities even though he’s a serial killer.

Protagonist: Eppsa Kestner

Likability: Eppsa is helpful and caring. She wants to protect her son and others from possibly becoming victims of the serial killer.

Relatability: She loves her family.

Empathy: She is a widow and is still looking for her son, who ran away years ago.

Antagonist: Hayden Kestner

Likability: He loves his wife and son. Hayden is great with children.

Relatability: Hayden is angry about being bullied as a teen.

Empathy: He was bullied.

Protagonist: Lonnie Dowic

Likability: He’s a minister.

Relatability: Even though he’s a ghost, he still wants to help people.

Empathy: He was murdered.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Character Intrigue

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year and sells them to producers who are eager to make my vision a reality by bringing my scripts to completion so everyone can watch my movies on the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is my characters are changing. I just realized it’s better if Lonnie is a priest instead of being one of Hayden’s old high school friends. With each pass, I have discovered new things about my characters.

Character Name: Eppsa Kestner

Role: Protagonist

Unspoken Wound: She was traumatized by her own death and doesn’t remember that she was killed by her serial killer husband. Also, just before her husband killed her in a murder-suicide, she learned her son was taking after his dad.

Secret Identity: She is a ghost but doesn’t know it.

Might Show up in Script: Eppsa is curious about death and what’s it like on the other side. She is compelled to help Lonnie. Hearing about suicide brings her to tears or makes her mad because life is to be cherished. She wonders why people don’t take her seriously when she talks to them. She kills Hayden by making it look like he committed suicide.

Character Name: Hayden Kestner

Role: Antagonist

Hidden agendas: Kill his high school friends who turned against him when they found out he killed someone and tried to have him arrested.

Secret Identity: He’s a serial killer.

Might Show Up in Script: He is family adores him and the staff at the homeless shelter give him an award. He uses the ice cream truck as a guise to drive through neighborhoods without suspicion. When he killed Lonnie, he almost got caught and had to be treated in the hospital because of some injury. He had to lie and say he was trying to save Lonnie. He’s murdered 3 friends and has 4 more to kill.

Character Name: Lonnie Dowic

Role: Protagonist

Hidden agenda: He must help Eppsa stop Hayden before revealing to her she’s a ghost.

Secrets: He knows that Hayden is the serial killer but can’t reveal it to Eppsa because it would traumatize her, and she would never be able to pass over. Lonnie needs to get her to discover the truth about Hayden’s identity so she can stop him.

Might Show Up in Script: One of Hayden’s friends finally confessed to Lonnie that Hayden killed someone. Lonnie was going to tell the police about Hayden murdering someone when Hayden killed him. Lonnie tells Eppsa the name of each person Hayden is going to murder as soon as he learns himself. He can’t see into the future who Hayden is going to kill. Lonnie is only able to know the next victim when Hayden decides.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Subtext Characters

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year and sells them to producers who are eager to make my vision a reality by bringing my scripts to completion so everyone can watch my movies on the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is subtext is used throughout to give depth to the characters and makes them more intriguing. Don’t tell or explain the character’s attributes and faults. Show it through their actions.

Movie Title: The Call

Character Name: Jordan

Subtext Identity: A 911 operator who gets someone killed.

Subtext Trait: Afraid, Intelligent, Clever, Confident

Subtext Logline: Jordan is a 911 operator who must find the courage to help a second teen victim survive a kidnapping until the cops can track her down.

Possible Areas of Subtext: Only teaches because she’s afraid of getting another 911 caller hurt or killed. A trainee fumbles a kidnapping call and Jordan must step in to help. Jordan doesn’t show fear even though she’s terrified. She thinks of ways the teen can help identify the car and the locations they travel. Jordan uses techniques to distract and keep the teen calm at the most stressful times.

Character Name: Eppsa Kestner

Subtext Identity: Eppsa is afraid to remember she was killed by her serial killer husband and that her son was following in his father’s footsteps.

Subtext Traits: Loving, Moody, Afraid, In Denial

Subtext Logline: Eppsa is tracking down a serial killer who ends up being her son.

Possible Areas of Subtext: She is apprehensive regarding speaking to and helping Lonnie. She wants to help Lonnie find his killer. She is afraid her son is in trouble or will get murdered. She still grieves for her husband. She grieves for her son. She feels compelled to find the serial killer to help save people from being murdered.

Character Name: Hayden Kestner

Subtext Identity: A serial killer who takes after his dad.

Subtext Traits: Charming, Intellectual, Persuasive, Sadistic

Subtext Logline: Hayden is murdering his old friends who betrayed him in high school.

Possible Areas of Subtext: Hayden is a charming ice cream man, and he helps at a homeless shelter. He uses his ice cream truck to store and transport bodies (easy to get into neighborhoods without drawing attention like a burglar). He kills a food truck inspector who discovers a body. Hayden makes his victims look like they committed suicide.

Character Name: Lonnie Dowic

Subtext Identity: Lonnie must stop Hayden from killing so he can pass over.

Subtext Traits: Witty, Moralistic, Fearful, Sneaky

Subtext Logline: Lonnie, one of Hayden’s victims, manipulates Eppsa so she can find and stop Hayden from killing anyone else.

Possible Areas of Subtext: Lonnie was a preacher. He’s terrified when he dies. He lightens the mood around Eppsa to keep her from being depressed. As a teen, he told the authorities that Hayden did something horrible, possibly Hayden made a person kill themselves or killed them and made it look like a suicide, although the cops didn’t believe Lonnie because he’s a jokester. He manipulates Eppsa into finding and killing Hayden.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Actor Attractors!

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year and sells them to producers who are eager to make my vision a reality by bringing my scripts to completion so everyone can watch my movies on the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is each lead character must have a unique voice to stand out from the other characters to attract actors. I had to change from Protagonist versus Antagonist to a Dramatic Triangle.

Concept: While at a funeral, the deceased appears and tells a professional mourner he was murdered, but when no one believes the mourner, she decides to find and stop the serial killer before he kills his next victim, only to discover she is a ghost and is the mother of the serial killer.

Title: Justice from the Grave

Lead Character Name: Eppsa Kestner

Role: Protagonist

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it? Eppsa is depressed because her husband died and her son ran away. She deals with it by being a professional mourner. In the end, she finds out she is a ghost who was murdered by her serial killer husband. Also, the serial killer she is currently tracking down is her son.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story? The people she talks to are ghosts, but she doesn’t know they are ghosts. She is determined to find the serial killer to save her son from becoming a victim.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script? Eppsa is a professional mourner. She talks to people who can’t see her. She goes to a psychic who speaks to her. The psychic knows she’s a ghost, but Eppsa is clueless. She kills her serial killer son.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor? Eppsa wakes up in an emergency room where her son was being treated for something. She sees a ghost leave a room where the doctors had just rushed in for a code blue. She panics and runs away.

5. What could be this character’s emotional range? She is meek and depressed in the beginning, but then becomes determined and more ominous or sinister.

6. What subtext can the actor play? She is a ghost and doesn’t know she is only interacting with ghosts. Thinking she’s alive, she meets with a psychic a couple of times to see if she can talk to her husband and/or find her son. She constantly tries to remember what caused her husband’s death, and her son ran away. She will remember everything by the end of the movie.

7. What are the most interesting relationships this character can have? Eppsa is drawn to Lonnie because he is helping her find the serial killer. She always seems to come close to seeing and talking to Hayden, but they never connect until the end.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented? She’s a grieving, motherly person. She is compassionate, but her anger grows as she comes closer to the truth that her husband killed her because he was a serial killer, and now her son is a serial killer.

9. What could make this character special and unique? She’s a ghost but doesn’t know it. When she gets angry, things around her move. It confuses her. Eppsa kills her son, Hayden, for justice.

Lead Character Name: Hyden Kestner

Role: Antagonist

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it? He is a serial killer who drives an ice cream truck.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story? The irony of being a good dad and an ice cream truck driver, but he’s actually a serial killer.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script? He kills his victims and makes each one look like they committed suicide.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor? He kills Lonnie.

5. What could be this character’s emotional range? He is kind and gentle around kids, but ultimately, he is seeking revenge for something his friends did to him as a teen.

6. What subtext can the actor play? He pretends to be a loving, family guy, but he’s a serial killer.

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have? He is loving to his wife and son. They look like the perfect family. Lonnie was his best friend growing up. Hayden gets revenge on his high school friends for something that happened in school or maybe something they did to him.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented? He’s nice on the surface but ruthless when it comes to vengeance.

9. What could make this character special and unique? Everyone loves him. In the end, his own mom kills him.

Lead Character Name: Lonnie Dowic

Role: Protagonist

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it? Lonnie’s an angry ghost who wants to avenge his murder through Eppsa.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story? He’s manipulating Eppsa so that Hayden will get caught because if Lonnie tells her she’s a ghost, he’s afraid she might disappear or that she will never be able to rest. He doesn’t have control over his surroundings and can’t move around to different locations the way Eppsa does since she believes she’s alive.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script? He knows Eppsa is a ghost but never tells her. He learns to use his anger to move things around him.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor? Lonnie’s spirit exits his hospital room where Eppsa sees him for the first time.

5. What could be this character’s emotional range? He’s friendly and loves to joke around, but at times he loses his temper out of frustration. He’s controlling towards Eppsa but is out of control since he can’t do anything the way she can.

6. What subtext can the actor play? From the beginning, Lonnie knows Eppsa is a ghost, but he doesn’t tell her. He knows the serial killer is Hayden, but he can’t tell her because then she may not have it in her to stop him.

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have? Lonnie and Eppsa are ghosts.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented? He has to control his anger over being murdered.

9. What could make this character special and unique? Lonnie must find a way to get Eppsa to expose or kill her son, Hayden, even though she’s a ghost, so they can both rest in peace.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Actor Attractor

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year and sells them to producers who are eager to make my vision a reality by bringing my scripts to completion so everyone can watch my movies on the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is it is important to introduce lead characters by having them do something unusual, exciting, or intense so an actor will want to play the role from the beginning of the script.

Movie Title: The Call

Genre: Thriller

Lead Character Name: Jordan (Halle Berry)

1. Why would an actor WANT to be known for this role? As a 911 operator, Jordan goes through a lot of tense and emotional moments.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in the movie? Jordan messes up a 911 call causing the child to get abducted. She has a meltdown and no longer can take 911 calls until another child is abducted and takes over for a trainee who panics during the call.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead takes in the movie? Jordan freaks after the call and has an emotional breakdown. She steps down to become an instructor because she thought she could take the pressure of someone possibly dying again.

4. How is this character introduced that could sell it to an actor? Jordan is a confident 911 operator who answers various calls about break-ins, stabbings, and talking someone down from killing themselves.

5. What is this character’s emotional range? She goes from strong to weak and broken. When she has to step in to help a trainee, she is weak at first but gets stronger and more confident than she was in the beginning.

6. What subtext can the actor play? She is hiding the fact that she is terrified of doing something wrong and causing the second kidnapped child to die.

7. What’s the most interesting relationship this character has? Joran is focused on connecting with Casey to help her survive a kidnapping.

8. How is this character’s unique voice presented? She is a competent and knowledgeable 911 operator. She thinks quickly and stays calm under stressful situations. She is great at distracting and calming the kidnapped teenager and helping the teen focus on what is around her so Jordan can help the cops can find her.

9. What makes this character special and unique? She is more resilient than she thought she was.

10. Jordan is talking to Casey who is locked in a trunk. Casey notices a shovel and knows she’s going to be buried. Casey is crying and becomes hysterical. Jordan tries to calm her. When it doesn’t work, she asks Casey what’s her favorite movie. Casey is confused and stops focusing on being buried. She tells her BRIDESMAIDS. Jordan loves the movie, too. Jordan tells her they will go to the movies this weekend. Now that Casey is calm, Jordan has her look around the trunk and use paint to pour out of the taillight hole so a police helicopter can see it or another vehicle might report it.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Genre Conventions

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year and sells them to producers who are eager to make my vision a reality by bringing my scripts to completion so everyone can watch my movies on the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is it is important to organize the 4-Act structure and put in the genre conventions so that it makes creating the script easier.

Title: Justice from the Grave

Concept: While at a funeral, the deceased appears and tells a professional mourner he was murdered, but when no one believes the mourner, she decides to find and stop the serial killer before he kills his next victim, only to discover she is a ghost and is the mother of the serial killer.

Genre: Thriller

Act 1:

Opening: Eppsa wakes up in an ER chair after a dream of someone being murdered. She looks at the chart on the wall. It shows her son, Hayden, was discharged against medical advice. She approaches a doctor. There’s a code blue. He runs for a room. She sees the spirit of a man enter the hall from the room the doctor entered. He vanishes. She leaves the hospital.

Inciting Incident: Eppsa is at a funeral. In the distance, she spots the man who died in the hospital. No one notices him. His name is Lonnie. He didn’t kill himself; he was murdered by a serial killer. He can’t rest until the killer is stopped and then tells her who the serial killer will murder next.

Turing Point: She reads an obituary. The man in the obituary is the same one Lonnie told her would die next.

Act 2:

New Plan: Find Lonnie for information and contact the police.

Plan of Action: Report there’s a serial killer to the police.

She goes to another funeral. A child of the deceased hugs Eppsa. The child tells her that Lonnie wanted her to know the police are wrong and that her dad didn’t kill himself. The child gives Eppsa another name from Lonnie to let her know who is going to die next.

She reads about another suicide. It’s not the name the girl gave her. The news warns everyone to stop copying a TikTok challenge because people are dying. It’s becoming an epidemic.

She searches for the name the girl gave her. She finds the person’s house. The door is ajar. She enters to find him dead. His wife enters. She flees.

Midpoint Turning Point: While waiting to talk to the cops in the police station, she sees Hayden leaving the police station. As she runs after him, she knocks a file from a desk onto the ground. Hayden gets in a car and drives away before she can get to him.

Act 3:

Rethink Everything: She talks to a psychic to find out why she’s seeing ghosts.

New Plan: She goes to church to pray. She talks to an old lady crying on a pew. Her grandson died by suicide, the same way Lonnie died, but the grandson’s death date is a couple of years earlier.

She sees Hayden in a park in her neighborhood talking to one of his childhood friends. She approaches, but the two get into a heated argument. Hayden chases after him before she gets to him.

She goes back to the cemetery. Lonnie says another victim will die in two days. He thinks the victims are people who hurt the serial killer in his childhood.

The name Lonnie predicted turns up dead in the obituaries. The cops say it’s a homeless man who committed suicide. She goes to the funeral home for the viewing. No one is there. Something is familiar about this homeless man.

Midpoint Turning Point: Eppsa puts a list of the names together who have died. She remembers these were Hayden’s friends in high school. She fears he will be a victim, too. Since no one believes her, she needs to stop the serial killer herself.

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate Expression of the Conflict: Eppsa finds a news article about a wife who was killed in a murder-suicide. The beloved husband was discovered to be a serial killer. Their teenage son was taken in by a church member.

Back at the cemetery, her name is on the headstone along with her husband’s. They have the same death date. She realizes she’s dead.

Eppsa knows how to find her son. She lures him back to their old, house which is now revealed as abandoned and falling apart. Somehow, she kills Hayden to save the world from a serial killer.

Resolution: Hayden’s wife and son await his arrival for his surprise birthday party.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s 4 Act Transformational Structure

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year and sells them to producers who are eager to make my vision a reality by bringing my scripts to completion so everyone can watch my movies on the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is putting in what you think works and then filling in the blanks made the process easier. Stepping away numerous times truly helped when I got stuck.

Title: Justice from the Grave

Genre: Thriller

Concept: While at a funeral, a professional mourner is told by the deceased they were murdered, but when no one believes the mourner, she decides to find and stop the serial killer before he kills his next victim, only to discover she is a ghost and is the mother of the serial killer.

Main Conflict: Eppsa must find and stop a serial killer, only to discover she is a ghost, and the serial killer is her son.

Old Ways:

· Always worried and searches for her son, Hayden, who ran away as a teen.

· She thinks mourning at funerals helps her cope with her depression.

· She’s lonely and can’t find inner peace since her husband died and her son ran away.

· Doesn’t have self-confidence and feels invisible.

New Ways:

· Hunts for the serial killer.

· People/ghosts go to her for help.

· Discovers she’s a ghost. Has the confidence to do the right thing.

· Torn that she must stop her serial killer son but knows she must, or he will keep killing. She kills for justice.

Opening: A man is murdered. Eppsa wakes up in an ER chair. It was only a dream. She pulls the curtain back. There’s a code blue. Doctors and nurses run for a room. She sees the spirit of a man leave the room they just entered. He disappears. She leaves the hospital.

Inciting Incident: While she and the other mourners surround an open grave, she notices the ghost of the deceased in the distance. Lonnie is the ghost from the hospital. He tells her he didn’t kill himself; he was murdered by a serial killer. He can’t rest until the killer is stopped and then tells her who the serial killer will murder next.

Turning Point: She reads an obituary. The man in the obituary is the same one Lonnie told her would die.

Act 2:

Reaction: She is shocked Lonnie knew the next victim.

The Plan: She contacts the police. They don’t seem to care, and they tell her to stop pranking them (it’s because they only hear static). She goes back to the cemetery to find Lonnie.

Turning Point 2: MIDPOINT: While waiting at the police station to report a serial killer, she overhears cops talking about people dying from TikTok challenges. She sees her son outside the police station. She runs after him, but he gets in a car and drives away.

Act 3:

Rethink: She talks to a counselor for advice and to get her medications changed.

Turning Point/Midpoint: Lonnie tells her another victim will die in two days. He thinks the victims are people who hurt the serial killer in his childhood.

Eppsa puts a list of the names together who have died. She remembers these were her son’s friends in high school. She fears Hayden will be a victim, too. She needs to stop the killer before Hayden becomes a victim.

Act 4:

Climax: Eppsa does research for something. A headline catches her eye. It says, “Husband kills wife in a murder-suicide. The beloved husband was discovered to be a serial killer. Their teenage son was taken in by a church member.”

She goes back to the cemetery. On the front of the headstone, both of their names are on it with the same death date. She realizes she’s dead.

Eppsa knows where her son is located. She does something and lures him back to their old house, which is now revealed as abandoned and falling apart. Somehow, she kills Hayden to save the world from a serial killer.

In the final scene, Hayden’s wife and son await his arrival for his surprise birthday party.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Subtext Plot

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year and sells them to producers who are eager to make my vision a reality by bringing my scripts to completion so everyone can watch my movies on the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is the subtext layers give the story depth while creating intrigue for the audience.

Title: Justice from the Grave

Genre: Thriller

Concept: While at a funeral, a professional mourner has a vision of the deceased being murdered, but when no one believes her, the mourner must find and stop the serial killer before he kills his next victim, only to discover she is a ghost and is the mother of the serial killer.

Subtext Plot: Layering

On the Surface: Eppsa must learn the identity of the serial killer and stop the serial killer from killing again.

Beneath the Surface:

· She has a hard time dealing with death, but she is drawn to funerals. She is drawn to certain funerals because of something in the obituaries.

· She’s depressed because her son ran away as a teenager or young adult shortly after her husband/his father was killed.

· Shocked she has a vision of the deceased at a funeral being murdered.

· Frustrated because cops don’t take her seriously.

· Curious why strangers seem to seek her help.

· Fearful the killer will strike again.

· She doesn’t know how she as a common citizen can stop the serial killer.

· Why does the killer choose his targets?

· She’s lonely because her husband was murdered, and the cops never found the killer.

· She searches more intently for her son because she fears the serial killer is after him, too.

· Intrigue is that her son is the serial killer.

· Learns she is a ghost because her son killed her and her husband.

· Dilemma as to how a ghost can stop a serial killer.

· Can she stop him, or will she have to kill him to end his murdering spree?

· How can a parent get the strength to kill her son whom she adores and has been trying to find since he ran away?

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Transformational Journey

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year and sells them to producers who are eager to make my vision a reality by bringing my scripts to completion so everyone can watch my movies on the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is there has to be a clear beginning and ending so it’s easier to navigate and come up with details between those points.

Protagonist: Eppsa Kestner

Arc Beginning: Professional mourner who doesn’t know she’s dead.

Arc Ending: Confident ghost who kills her son, the serial killer, for justice.

Internal Journey: From depressed and apprehensive to confident and dogged.

External Journey: From a professional mourner who doesn’t realize she’s a ghost to being a peaceful ghost who can pass on to the other side.

Old Ways:

· Always paranoid that something bad is going to happen to her.

· She thinks mourning at funerals helps her cope with her depression.

· She’s lonely since her husband died after the birth of their son and her son ran away as a teen.

· Doesn’t have self-confidence and feels invisible.

New Ways:

· Hunts for the serial killer.

· People/ghosts go to her for answers.

· Discovers she’s a ghost. Has confidence now that she knows she’s a ghost.

· Torn that she must stop her serial killer son but knows she must, or he will keep killing. She kills for justice.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Intentional Lead Characters

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year and sells them to producers who are eager to make my vision a reality by bringing my scripts to completion so everyone can watch my movies on the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is my characters must be unique to build interest, but they also need to deliver on the concept.

Title: Justice from the Grave

Genre: Thriller

Concept: While at a funeral, a professional mourner has a vision of the deceased being murdered, but when no one believes her, the mourner must find and stop the serial killer before he kills his next victim, only to discover she is a ghost and is the mother of the serial killer.

Protagonist:

Character: Eppsa

Logline: Eppsa is a ghost who must find and stop a serial killer, only to discover the serial killer is her son.

Unique: She believes she is a professional mourner and doesn’t know she’s a ghost.

Antagonist:

Character: Hyden

Logline: Hyden is a serial killer and doesn’t know he is being hunted by his mom who is a ghost.

Unique: He’s a beloved family man who works as an ice cream man and is a serial killer.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Title, Concept, and Character Structure!

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year and sells them to producers who are eager to make my vision a reality by bringing my scripts to completion so everyone can watch my movies on the big screen.

What I learned from doing this assignment is I have four concepts I love. I finally chose one to do in class and one to do on my own. Having the right character structure is important so that each layer we create can be strong while I build onto my outline.

Title: Justice from the Grave

Genre: Thriller

Concept: While at a funeral, a professional mourner has a vision of the deceased being murdered, but when no one believes her, the mourner must find and stop the serial killer before he kills his next victim, only to discover she is a ghost and is the mother of the serial killer.

Character Structure: Protagonist versus Antagonist

[Veronica Turowski]

Hi! I’m Veronica and I currently live in Fort Walton Beach, Florida.

I have five recommends on my feature scripts. I enjoy writing horror and thrillers. I’ve taken numerous SWU courses including Pro Series 60 and MSC9. I want learn new techniques so I can write more efficiently. I would like to do more marketing to get my scripts optioned and eventually find a manager.

My husband and I traveled across the US last summer (over 26,000 miles in our car) which was thrilling and a blessing in gathering ideas for different concepts.

What is truly unique about me is that I had a traumatic brain injury in a car accident in 2002. I went from having an almost photographic memory to being compared to someone with Alzheimer’s. My kids still call me Swiss cheese brain, which I find hilarious. For years, I couldn’t read, but when my memory improved, I started reading again. Much to my dismay, I discovered I had turned dyslexic. I still have memory issues, but I won’t let it stop me from writing scripts, which I love doing.

I fear marketing because of my memory issues.

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski

I agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of Writing Incredible Movies, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, through social media, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, videos, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Veronica Turowski]

Margurite,

I would love to exchange if you haven’t found someone already. I have a supernatural thriller. My email is VeronicaTurowski@gmail.com. My phone number is 561-951-0908.

Thanks! Veronica