victor Valleau
Forum Replies Created
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TITLE: MONKEY BUSINESS
GENRE: COMEDYCONCEPT: Desiring fame as an endangered species wildlife photographer , Matt stalks the elusive laughing ape.
Log Line
Trekking jungles in Borneo stalking an endangered species, an ambitious photographer is trapped when he discovers the laughing ape with a big nose but then must lead his helpers to escape the terrors of the wilds.For partnering, Please contact me by text note with your name, email at 310-985 3525 and/or email at victorvalleau@yahoo.com. Thanks. I hope to be ready with outline by the weekend.
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WHAT I LEARNED:
Each of my main characters, has a 3-Act Structure of their journey. It fleshes out the character, adds to story, etc. Characters tell their story when you go deep on them so holes in story are obvious.
Beginning: Niece
She unwillingly finances Uncles trip in honor of her dead fathers wishes.
Turning Point: her motives/gayness is discoveredMidpoint: she’s locked into going with uncle
Turning Point 2: she brings professor as security, cover for publicity.
Dilemma:
does she get famous for this or a villain?3rd Act Climax: She saves the day but gives professor credit.
Ending:PROFESSOR
Beginning: INVITES HERSELFTurning Point: UNINVITES HERSELF
Midpoint: BEGS TO GOTurning Point 2: ESCAPES ARRESTED FOR POACHING ANIMALS
Dilemma: INNOCENT OR GUILTY IN PRESS/LOSES JOB IF TTRUE, MUST PROVE HERSELF INNOCENT.3rd Act Climax: ABANDONED FOR LOST IN JUNGLE
Ending: GIRL COMES BACK ALONE TO QUESTIONS, DID SHE KILL THEM?
PROTOGRAPHER/ BEN
Beginning: RETURNING HERO, CREATIVE GENIUS INTERVIEWS, READING ARTICLES ON PONTOON BOAT, he kidnaps niece for security guarantee trip happens.
Turning Point: PROF QUESTIONS HIS STORY/ MONKEYS JUMPING AND HE PHOTO’S?
Midpoint: FALSE STORY SINCE CLOSENESS SCARES MONKEYS, SO WHO TOOK PHOTOS?
Turning Point 2: GIRL BELIEVES PROF, SEES SCAMDilemma: CANCEL TRIP? TOO LATE
3rd Act Climax: JUMPING MONKEYS
Ben attacks Prof who escapes, lost in jungle.Ending: FIRE KILLS BEN, PROF LOST, GIRL RESCUED
Victor Valleau
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Vic Valleau,
Great hookASSIGNMENT
6. Answer the question “A. How did this process work for you? B. What did you learn doing this assignment?” and put it at the top of your work.i LEARNED HOW HORROR SEEMS TO BE THE FAVORED GENRE WITH CONFINED IDEAS, NOT FUNNY, NOT ROMANTIC.
CONFINED SEEMS TO ADD DRAMA TO EVERYTHING SINCE SURVIVAL IS USUALLY AT STAKE,
WHAT IF CHARACTERS DIDNT KNOW OF CONFINEMENT?
brainstorm possible major hooks.A. Intriguing Contained Setting:-
Trapped in threatening space- avalanche, underwater, lacks air, fire possible, explosions, infested with bugs, snakes, poison air,
innocent looking but bad locations- near hostile gangs, military, hospital, courtroom,B. Unique Device atomic reactor in closet, poison canisters ready to explode,
c. . Unique Monster/Villain: invisible, silent , bugs, airborne germs,
D. Mystery:
people are stricken frozen then recover from sound high pitch sirens.E. Impossible goal/Unsolvable problem: Halloween tour leaves realistic bodies in closets, scares people
AI follows their movements, generates complimentary images.F. Unique layers:
randomly generated holograms offering surviving various courses of action,
such as long treks thru snow, surviving falling thru ice,
falling in love images, soft, loving, warm engaging like love stories
split group of half to love movie and half to violence/horror, then observe them
to see if they cooperate. AI generating loving conditions just from watching.
social engineering thru AI7. Post your assignment in the forums at https://www.screenwritingclasses.com/forums/
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What I learned is the importance of location. It can be a story point. Tropical islands for romance. Jungles for adventure.
I watched romantic comedies and action flix with many locations/scene changes,. Also be aware that changes add interest. I would get lost in movie. I’m considering how else to establish movie’s central locations etc without travelling to or from it. Defining the world of the film
adds to the story, usually with location. I suppose Woody Allen without NY background is possible. Small humans lives pale against
big permanent buildings adds to the loneness.Im thinking of using photographs,, print media, internet, ChatGPT etc. home movies, etc. to push out the walls of my story location.
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I agree to the terms of the release form, and incorporate entire form herein. .
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victorContained – LIVE SU Alumni
Confidentiality Agreement
Posted by cheryl on September 9, 2024 at 5:56 am
Confidentiality AgreementHi everyone,
As we go forward with the class, we need everyone here to acknowledge their agreement to the Group Confidentiality form. The purpose here is to protect yourself, each other and to make this a safe environment where you’ll be able to work on the most marketable concept you have without worry.
The release form does all of those things and it also makes whatever we work on in this class confidential. Once everyone has acknowledged their agreement on the forums, we’ll have a safe environment where we can all focus on our writing, instead of worrying about protection.
This Group Confidentiality Agreement covers the entire class.
I highly recommend that you agree to this confidentiality agreement so you can participate in all the group feedback.
Remember, the more you interact with this group, the stronger your relationships will be after the class is concluded. Those relationships can translate into career success, so they are valuable to cultivate.
See you then,
HalBelow is the release form. You have one of two choices here:
AGREE, in which case, you Reply to this topic and include three things at the top of the page:
1. Your name.
2. The words “I agree to the terms of this release form.”
3. Please leave the entire text below to confirm what you agree to.
OR
NOT AGREE, in which case, you hit “Reply to this topic” and type in the words “I’ll do the class privately.”
If you agree to the terms of the release form, then you can post your assignments into the group and your cohort can give feedback on them.
Also, if you don’t agree to this group confidentiality agreement, you’ll still need to sign an agreement that says you will keep the strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential.I victor Valleau agree to the terms of tis release form. GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class. -
I’m Vic Valleau. SAG member since 1990’s, member of CA Bar Association and writer of screenplays. I hope to write another
fun and interesting, unique screenplay. -
Rita’s Query Letter Draft 2
What I learned:
Peter helped me locate where I could up the stakes/hooks in the query. I’m not sure if this is the right amount of detail to go along with the increased tension or if it also increases confusion.
And does my protagonist become unlikable in this version?
NOTE: I’d also really love feedback on the title.
I SUGGEST A TITLE THAT EVOKES THE STORY: THE BUSINESS OF LOVE., OR EVEN PAINTING LOVE.
Hi Rita: love your concept. Thanks for a change to exchange ideas.
Vic
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BLUE MOON PAINTERS/
POSSIBLE TITLE: THE BUSINESS OF LOVE.
Romantic Comedy
True love only comes once in a blue moon… after you fake your way into a business you know nothing about.
When Dawn meets Tom, a handsome contractor, she pretends to own a painting company to get his number.
Then she signs a contract to finish one of his projects.
The only problem is that she’s actually a psychology professor who just lectured her class about authenticity. Now she has to gather up some workers and get the job done.
Where else to find a paint crew but by plucking random losers from a parking lot? I WOULD USE HER INEXPERIENCE AGAINST HER, PICKING A CREW THAT FAILS HER AT EVERY TURN. HER CREW COULD BE VOLUNTEERS FROM COMMUNITY OUTREACH PROGRAM. SHE TRICKS THEM INTO HELPING PAINT.
They arrive on the job to find out it’s the dean of faculty’s address! Now Dawn has to pretend she’s NOT a painting contractor but covers her lie by claiming she’s the head of a community outreach program to help disadvantaged youth. GREAT MISDIRECTION!
Never mind that her crew is mostly middle-aged. MAYBE SOME ARE OLDER???AFRAID TO CLIMB LADDERS, OR GET STUCK ON THE ROOF, CAN’T GET DOWN SO NEED FIRE DEPARTMENTS HELP. Again tone of your story is final decider, if this idea is useful.
While Dawn uses her psychology skills to keep everyone on track, her colorful crew finds their groove and just might pull this off.
The crew screws up, is funnier, particularly when they follow her advice to the letter. This would give her and contractor a lively sparky date where she’s on defensive. She’s forced into lying, so denies her advice and background. This could be a small change but big payoff. Again, she could BE FORCED TO USE contractor’s parents, WHO ARE VOLUNTEERS FROM COMMUNITY OUTREACH AND INSIST ON HELPING HER.
Plus, Tom finally asks her out to dinner. IS HIS/HER INTEREST ROMANTIC, BUSINESS OR BOTH?
But she can’t juggle the lies much longer. What if Tom finds out the truth? And what if the Dean finds out she lied? GREAT, LOVE IT!
If she comes clean, will she end up alone, fired from both her fake and her real job? FIRED FROM HER FAKE JOB IS FUNNY.
Or maybe she can find a way to have it all. GREAT QUESTION SINCE I WANT MORE INFO. GOOD TEASE.
If you like this concept, I’ll be happy to send you the script.
Sincerely,
Rita Doyle Roberts
BIO: Rita Roberts is a professional artist who inherited a painting company and had to bluff her way through commercial contracts as the lead on construction sites. Blue Moon Bay Painting is now a successful business… and a great way to get dates.
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Vic Valleau Query Letter Exchange. Romantic Comedy
TITLE “Call me Daddy”/“PERKS OF FATHERHOOD”
In the world of women’s fertility treatments: “Are men really necessary?”
In today’s scientific world, human reproductive technology, ‘Perks of Fatherhood” follows the ups and downs of one man’s plea for fatherhood. The trend is not his friend.
Independent single women are flocking to fertility services. Marriage is down, population is declining, Bridal shops are closing by the thousands as women cope with their already confused world of dating and love, marriage and babies. Bob must deal with all of that and a fractured penis. This is the first ever comedy treatment of this groundbreaking trend.
In this media inspired, unique search for true love, an unlucky guy stacks up enemies, is evicted from his donor job in a posh women’s fertility clinic, ultimately faces homelessness. Risking his job, Bob lurks in his clinics parking lot, offering flower bouquets to single unengaged women clients. He teases them:
No ring by Spring? What about me? Just list me as father on the birth certificate! You can even do it without me and the baby uses your last name.
BIO: Writer and Stand Up at several comedy clubs: Comedy Story on Sunset, Improv in Santa Monica and also on Sunset and Ventura Blvd, IMDB, Truman show re-writes on teaser as fundraiser exhibited at early Cinemacon, published writer of medical-legal articles, Multi-optioned scripts, including at AFM Currently have scripts in process with A level producers and directors.
If you like the concept, I’d be happy to send you the script.
Cell: 310-985-3525, Office: 310-452-8877, 3435 Ocean Park Blvd. #107-508, Santa Monica, CA 90405
Hi fellow students see my Email above. Send a text so I expect your email.
Please exchange query letters, synopsis to follow.
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Vic Valleau TARGET MARKET assignment #10
What I learned is to use the Targeting process to find producers, and everyone else. Also comedy is popular right now.
Also learned costs and budgets. $8 million and up needed along with name star for distribution, otherwise its Netflix, Hulu+ etc and wait for residuals and writers strike. Comedy Easy A cost $8 million and earned 80 million. This is with Emma Stone as lead. Rare but Swingers $200k cost to distributor Miramax $5 million.
Title: “Call me Daddy”/ “Perks of Fatherhood”
Genre: Comedy
Make a list of five or more movies that are similar to yours.
http://www.imdb.com and find 50 to 100 producers (or more) for your specific project.
· I believe in Santa, , Release Dec 14, 2022 NETFLIX
4 producers Netflix distributor
writer producer, (Bob?) Male lead John Ducey,for Bob,
Lead Female (Mia) Christina Moore producer with 4 others.
ESX ENTERTAINMENT (Produced by) Ali Afshar Christina Moore, Daniel Aspromonte, Ava Rettke so not in the Guild, right?
2. Wheels of Fortune, Release Date: 2020
Same Producers at #1 above. Except add
Producer Writer John Ducey
Tag Line: In order to claim his inheritance, a born loser travels the country with his childhood friends to prove he can be a winner. Ish.
3. A tourists guide to love (High Budget)
Rachael Leigh Cook
Ben Feldman (Bob)?
Missi Pyle or Melissa Pyle
4. THE INVENTION OF LYING
Ricky Gervais, Lead (Bob)
Mark Bellison producer, writer, director
Fred Armisen Comedy actor
5. EASY A
Will Gluck and Zanne Devine producers.
6.. Love Guaranteed
7. Holiday Harmony/HBOMax Streaming
ESX Entertainment
8. That’s Amour Streaming
ESX Entertainment
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Vic Valleau Phone Pitch #9
What I learned from this lesson is… value of phone script to settle my nerves.
REFERRAL: Hello —————
I appreciate this chance to talk to you about my romantic comedy screenplay called “Call me Daddy’ or Perks of Fatherhood.
COLD CALL: Hello, this is Vic Valleau calling. I’m a produced writer/director and actor for years. My first big production was working on the Truman Show in 1998. Could I give you some detail about my new script?
Briefly, In the world of women’s fertility treatments, are men no longer necessary? Our male lead becomes obvious that if he wants to be a father, he must do far more than sketchy requests to single women seeking fertility treatments.
After a lucky accident to his love’s husband profoundly challenging everyone, he realizes having a future and a baby, means he must give up lusting after the evil twin and settle with the good twin.
Biz:
Female Lead (Identical twins0: Seeking Amy Adams innocence and saucy undercurrent.
Male Lead: Uncomfortable in his skin, grows into a man and father figure.
Former Football Player/musician/ wealthy husband cast as a sex symbol.
The script is 95 pages, currently set in Los Angeles, Beverly Hills.
Budget: 1 to 2 million budget or higher, depending on casting and director and producer..
Currently, an A-list producer and director requested script for a full read. His budget would be higher.
I’m contacting your company since this script could fit that same audience, as your recent productions.
Our male lead, steps up into a risky duo with the evil twin, only to discover the good twin is a better match for him as he chances love.
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Vic Valleau Pitch Fest Pitch
Create your entire Pitch Fest Pitch.
1. Tell us your credibility.
Finished in the top 20 percentile in Titan and Big Break Screenplay competitions.
2. Tell us your genre and title.
Romantic Comedy, “Perks of Fatherhood/ Call me Daddy!
3. What is your one or two sentence hook?
In the world of women’s fertility treatments, are men really necessary?
4. Please give your one or two sentence answer to each of these questions:
What is the budget range? $1 to 2 million, or more depending on director and casting. .
What actors do you like for
the lead roles? Eugeneo Derbez, Andy Dick, Paul Dano.Give me the acts of the story.
Act
1: Bib accepts but is failing on his fatherhood quest, fired, depressed.
Act
2: Love of his life snubs him3. Bob spies on his enemy, then sabotages him.
4. His new girlfriend is a sleep around, he must step up.
Ends :Bob is great man to calm her down. Credibility questions: What have you done
BIO: Writer and Stand Up at several comedy clubs: Comedy Story on Sunset, Improv in Santa Monica and also on Sunset and Ventura Blvd, IMDB, Truman show re-writes on teaser as fundraiser exhibited at early Cinemacon, published writer of medical-legal articles, Multi-optioned scripts, including at AFM informal offer from Gersh Agency, employing their talent, Rob Schneider. Currently have scripts in process with A level producers and directors.
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VIC VALLEAU QUERY LETTER #7
What I learned doing this assignment is: My Bio is unique and I am uniquely qualified.
TITLE “PERKS OF FATHERHOOD”
BIO: Writer and Stand Up comedy superstar at Comedy Story on Sunset, Improv in Santa Monica and also on Sunset and Ventura Blvd, IMDB, Truman show re-writes on teaser, published writer of medical-legal articles, optioned scripts.
In the world of women’s fertility treatments: “Are men really necessary?”
In this media inspired, unique search for true love, an unlucky guy stacks up enemies, is evicted from his donor job in a posh women’s fertility clinic, ultimately faces homelessness. Risking his job, Bob lurks in his clinics parking lot, offering flower bouquets to single unengaged women clients. He teases them:
No ring by Spring? What about me? Just list me as father on the birth certificate! You can even do it without me and the baby uses your last name.
“Áre men really necessary?” In today’s scientific world, human reproductive technology, ‘Perks of Fatherhood” humorously follows the ups and downs of one man’s plea for fatherhood. Independent single women are flocking to fertility services. Marriage is down, population is declining, Bridal shops are closing by the thousands as women cope with their already confused world of dating, love and marriage and babies. Bob must deal with all of that and a fractured penis. This is the first ever comedy treatment of this groundbreaking trend.
If you like the concept, I’d be happy to send you the script.
Cell: 310-985-3525, Office: 310-452-8877, 3435 Ocean Park Blvd. #107-508, Santa Monica, CA 90405
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Vic Valleau SYNOPSIS HOOKS, 1<sup>ST</sup> DRAFT. LESSON 5 TITLE: “CALL ME DADDY”
What I learned: writing this pitch sharpened my script into a missile. I now see marketing targets and most interesting plot and character points.
SYNOPSIS HOOKS FOR M Y SCRIPT “CALL ME DADDY”
“Áre men really necessary?” In today’s scientific world, human reproductive technology asks this disturbing question: “Are men really necessary” . “Call me Daddy” humorously asks and answers that question with one man’s plea to be recognized as a father to many babies.
Independent single women are demanding fertility services. Is this an admission of failure or proof of independence? Marriage is down, Bridal shops are closing by the thousands as women cope. This is the first ever comedy treatment about artificial insemination in the already confused world of dating, mating and marriage.
Our story follows BOB who is shocked to see his elusive high school sweetheart MIA at his clinic where he is a sperm donor. After one failed sexual experience in college, lovesick Bob loses her, keeping only his enduring fantasy love of her. She avoided him since high school, but he follows her to college and beyond. She is married to his rival, international playboy Wylie. Believing Wylie is sterile, she seeks clinics help. Bob’s dream to be the father of Mia’s baby may come true. Could Bob be the father if Wylie can’t? Would it be Bob and Mia’s secret?
Rumors swirl throughout their tight knit world. Rumor has it Mia had sex with entire football team when Bob abandoned her. Or was it her identical twin Sia or just an urban tale? Is Bob gay? Artificial insemination confuses everyone.
These mysteries clear up when Bob does the unthinkable. Wylie fractures his penis, trying to be super sexy man. Bob’s true colors show when his story takes a sharp turn earning the honor to be called daddy.
Like Dallas Buyers club and the Truman Show and its spinoffs, we peek into others intimate lives. Beyond the anticipated and expected film funding sources, new sources include fertility clinics, medical professions, political interest groups. Deep feelings can result in easier financial contributions. Name actresses may align and champion the cause playing major roles due to personal experience with fertility procedures.
Surprise ending: Bob marries Sia then discovers she’s pregnant, but is ‘Call me Daddy” Bob the father? . He was content pretending she was Mia when, during sex, he closed his eyes. His comforting fantasy explodes when he finds out biological father is lying Wylie. Lucky, Bob stands up to Wylie, as never before. Bob requires Wylie to relinquish all daddy rights but allows him to be godfather.
With stand up comedy background and three divorces, I have a revealing view of this world. I’m familiar with audience appreciation of comedy springing from pain and pitfalls of romance, suggesting a good time movie is welcome.
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VIC VALLEAU MARKETABLE COMPONENTS/ POWER PLAYERS 4/12/23
WHAT I LEARNED: I love to do marketing writeups but lacking confidence, don’t follow through.
LOG LINE A flop at dating and am embarrassment as a sperm donor, Bob is homeless unless he gets recognition as a father by his 40<sup>th</sup> birthday.
A. Unique setting.A unique look
at human reproductive technology to humorously asks the question “Are men
necessary?”
B. Great Title, similar to Who’s your daddy but without sexist
overtones. .
C. True.Inspired by true events
from newspaper, repeated on internet.
D. Timely.Artifical
insemination is widely used in today’s Western world..
E. It’s a first comedy treatment
about a serious subject.Independent single woman choosing sperm donors over husbands is more popular than ever. A timely comedic film treatment finds humor in this universal, yet deeply personal choice, Is this an admission of failure, she can’t find a man, or independence, that she doesn’t need a breadwinner.
F. Ultimate
G. Wide audience appeal This topic touches many lives personally.
H. Adapted from a popular book.
I. Similarity to a box-office success.
J. A great role for a bankable actor My (unnamed) friend.
3. Elevate/ emphasize role/components
PITCH I COULD USE
G: START WITH WIDE AUDIENCE APPEAL BABIES AND SINGLE MOTHERS ARE WIDELY POPULAR AND UNIQUE.
E: COMEDY TREATMENT THAT LIGHTENS UP A DEEPLY HUMAN CONCERN, AND THIS MAY BE A FIRST.
Independent single woman choosing sperm donors over husbands. r. Is this an admission of failure, she can’t find a man, or independence, that she doesn’t need a breadwinner.
Controversial subject like Dallas Buyers Club, Truman show startling peek into others intimate reality.
Timely- connected to some major trend or event.
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LESSON 3, ANTICIPATORY DIALOGUE
VIC VALLEAU 1/19/23
What I learned: Looking from POV of audience for what’s next to expect frees me up. Key is to push anticipatory dialogue as early as possible so A/D acts as a context of what to expect.
Vision: My writing is gold to producers, highly sought after.
EXT. RITZ HOTEL – LATER
Laura enters hotel spied on and followed by Mia and Bob.
MIA
I owe you. I have a room here. Its a large bed.
Confusing Bob, Mia teases.
MIA
Sex between us can happen but who cares, its fun!
Bob indicates his teeth hurt.
BOB
I will sleep on the floor.
MIA
In the morning, I’ll make a scene, then break her up with him.
BOB
Please don’t make a scene!
MIA
Bob, I never understood you.
INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
Mia lays on bed seductively, almost naked. Gingerly sitting on her bed, Bob fidgets.
She teases him.
MIA
Is this fun Bob? Remember our college days of our silly joke of almost sex? I love being turned on by you.
BOB
I remember. We almost had sex on Sunday, we almost had sex on Monday, through the week. If Wylie comes in that door, he will almost beat me to a bloody pulp.
MIA
That’s what’s exciting and the door’s unlocked. I had your donated sperm, that’s our connection, why we are close..
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Bob’s Baby is 77 scenes, 92 pages, completely formatted in Final Draft.
A true to life comedy about a man who, despite his well- informed reluctance, marries his high school sweethearts identical twin sister.
Vic Valleau
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Vic Valleau Module 6 Lesson 5.
I’m ready to exchange a modern romcom. Here’s the logline:
Losing his last ditch job as a sperm donor and a failure at dating, a desperate young man will lose his inheritance unless he becomes a father soon.
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Vic Valleau Lessons 13,14
<font face=”inherit”>I’m on Page 91, and am already thinking of big ideas, big revisions, additions for rewriting. I’m very happy at a few </font>breakthrough<font face=”inherit”> ideas, pointing the direction for rewriting. Need to clarify plot flow and theme and subplots. </font>
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Vision: As a writer, I am an alchemist, turning the ordinary into a frenzy of producers seeking my gold.
What I learned: Finished lesson 10,11,12 but couldn’t get into Forums to report it. I’m at page 88, act 4. I need to get them to the wedding chapel. Twin sisters Mia and Sia’s double wedding with Bob and Wyle happens. Surprise to me, Bob calmly accepts risk of new woman and new life with help from his friends.
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Page 75 I feel like Im done with first draft, maybe a few more scenes, not obvious now.
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Lesson 9 begin Act 3
Vision: As a writer, my work is gold, highly sought after by producers.
How is it going?: starting page 60, definitely act 3. l m beyond thinking I am organized. I hope the story falls together but now goal is to ferret out likely scene conflicts between characters. I get engrossed in story. I keep writing, so that’s good.
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BOB’S BABY BY VIC VALLEAU
NOV 9, 2022
WIM ASSIGNMENT MODULES
WHAT I LEARNED DOING THESE ASSIGNMENTS: Staying positive and expecting to finish this script is key.
I chose a compelling story: Comically delivering on the concept of how screwed up love, marriage, divorce, abortion, dating and sex are today’s world. This keeps me writing. I have 47 page length est. scenes according to Final Cut Pro. My story evolves and gets richer.
I’m adding subplots and scenes missing from original outline.My subplots usually come from competing agendas among main characters. I’ve added a few supporting characters’, mostly inserted into existing scenes.
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Vic Valleau
Module 5 Lessons 1-3
My vision: to sell my scripts. I enjoy writing.
What I learned doing this assignment: Assignments 1-3 I learned how to trust my outline
without being a slave to it.
Act 1 is a few scenes short of complete, or maybe not depending on next draft.
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Hi Karen
Let’s exchange: Please send your outline if interested to:
I have a modern romantic comedy called “Bob’s Baby”.
An anonymous sperm donor with 40 babies, Bob wants one who calls him “Daddy”.
Thanks
Vic
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WIM Vic Valleau Mod 4 Lesson 9: Scene Requirements
VISION: As a writer, I am an alchemist, turning the ordinary into gold.
What I learned doing this assignment: Need 5-8 pages of scene slug lines, etc I need more story, more story in second or third act. More story, subplots? B story? Build up Bob’s character? Mia and Lawyer could fight over Wyle.
10am Trim it down, do 5 scene requirements for every; slugline, I have about 20, need 40.
Added 2 spying subplots, yea!!! Bob and Mia, and Laura.
Mia’s spied on Wyle since beginning, because women chase him. He gives in to temptation.
Scene Arc: From Bob parking in Clinic Doctors parking lot to
EXT. CLINIC DOCTOR’S PARKING LOT- DAY
VERSIONS
1. Dilemma
Beginning Bob can lose his job pursuing Mia.
Middle
end
Superior Knowledge- She ignores him, shuns contact
VERSION 1-3 1. Bob spots Mia 2. who 3. hides.
Beginning: (Intrigue) Doesn’t respond to his wolf whistles
Beginning: Intrigue Bob hold her hands kisses like lovers.
Beginning: More interesting setting:His stereo store job
3 Middles: Mia 1. Responds romantically 2. Not at all or 3. Superior position of she knows him, he doesn’t know her.
3 Ends (misinterpretation) Bob treats her as a lover 2. Bob runs away 3.Mia has him arrested.
SCENE 2 .
Leaving hospital
Essence Goal is seeing his desperation to impress Mia.
INT. CLINIC – DAY
Essence is Bob’s sad routine on display, tries to impress staff.
Conflict between characters is Staff laughs at him.
He checks in as Brad Pitts brother, Bob Pitt. “Date” readiness, and his claim he found mother for his baby. “Just a baby to call me daddy” refrain. Meanwhile Mia ignores him, awaits lecture on Ectopic pregnancy by Samantha.
INT. CLINIC – DAY
Version 1: Bob
Beginning
Middle End
INT/EXT. CLINIC- DAY
Mia comes out of ladies room, collides with Bob With sperm cup in hand, chases her.
Scene Arc Bob chases Mia to end of gets fired. begin and end
Essence: goal
Conflict: between characters: Mia’s running and screaming
Subtext:: She thinks her ectopic pregnancy was Bob’s sperm, too ambitious, rushing to meet egg inside tube, not waiting like a polite sperm in uterus.
Hope: Bad Bob to zip up his pants, be a gentleman.
Fear: Bad bob gets repercussions
INT. CLINIC – DAY
BOB COMES BACK TRIES AND FAILS TO FLIRTS WITH STAFF
Conflict between characters is Bob has a lot to prove.
Samantha fires him.
Scene Arc Bob meets Mia to end of gets fired. begin and end
Essence: goal
Conflict: Samantha fires Bob. Why?
Hope: Sam relents.
Fear: Sam sees through his pretense to loneliness, covertly tries to get a gf for him from her single donees.
Bob gets slammed by Sam for accosting Mia, but with a suspicious flimsy excuse not real reason. He senses her affair with Wyle, Mia’s fiancé.
INT. SAM’S OFFICE CLINIC – DAY
Sam asks donee if she’s like a nice man to go with the sperm? His name is Bobb Pit.
INT. CLINIC DONATION ROOM- NIGHT
Sam locks door, corners Mia there to see Bob, subtle threats to stay away from Bob. He’s a liar. About everybody, me, you, everybody Wyle. Don’t tell him anything.
MIA defends Bob to Sam, backstory
INT. SHADY BAR – NIGHT
Mia teams with Bob to spy on Sam.
Ext LAX – NIGHT
Wyle arrives, looking like royalty, no explanation of who or why, big greeter with sign of WYLE.
EXT. YACHT – NIGHT
Bob and Mia hunker down in dingy tied to Wyle’s yacht. Wyle unlocks dock gate, walks to his yacht. No explanation.
Purpose is to show Bob is outmatched.
Scene arc: begins at dock gate Wyle keyed in, ends with lights out in yacht.
Essence: Suspense, humor, show Wyle is alone.
Conflict: Bob wants to quit spying, too dangerous.
Subtext: Bob wants good life, Wyle has.
Hope to fear: Wyle comes on deck with gun, shoots in air to scare intruders.
Now what? Keep going with more subplot. Who? Lawyer ex-girlfriend still goes for Wyle.
She busts him so he avoids her. What’s her name? LAURA KIDDIE When do we first see her, never?
Hear lots about her, before seeing her. She calls Wyle says she’s coming to yacht. Wyle yells, no, then calls her from yacht- they argue. She tries to break in thru gate, he ignores her but comes out, shoots gun. Why did Mia hire her? To spy on Wyle when Laura was already having an affair with Wyle. Mia suspected. Get ready for divorce.
Laura has a million dollar TAX judgment against Wyle hanging over his head. Like Alex Jones, he will never get away from it. But Wyle has assets (yacht) to protect.
INT. RITZ CARLTON – DAY
NEW WOMAN FLIRTS MEETS WYLE, NO EXPLANATIONS. Mia comes out of ladies room, slinks around.
Scene Arc: Mia walked up to Wyle, diverted by new woman.
Essence: Shows player
Conflict: Mia is shuttled to second fiddle, or lower.
Subtext: Wyle is desirable man
Fear to hope: New woman refuses romance.
EXT. INDIAN CASINO – NIGHT
Bob throws up from fear, comes out of men’s room in Indian disguise, slinks around. WYLE IS A HIGH ROLLLER WITH SAMANTHA IN ULTRA SEXY OUTFIT NEXT TO HIM.
Scene arc: Bob spies, hunkers up to betting table with Wyle, affects a Texas accent, leaves when he sees Samantha, pretends he leaves as he realizes it’s a $500 min table.
Essence: Bob is fully in the game, helping Mia, living exciting life.
Conflict: Avoiding Sam.
Subtext: Bob excited to be fully alive, at stake is his future.
Fear 2 hope: Vomiting to bolting away from Sam.
SCENE REQUIREMENTS TO BE ADDED
1. Scene Arc-begin with Sam threats and ends with Bob defusing situation. .
2. Essence-main objective: HUMOR AND Show Wyle’s vulnerability and soft side.
3. conflict: opposition: Sam laughs at him, says sex is trap for men, DONATORS ARE LUCKY.
4. subtext: another meaning beneath: Injury to manhood
5. Hope2Fear or fear2hope: Wyle hopes for recovery and fears popping stitches.
INT. CLINIC NIGHT
Scene Arc/ SHORT DESCRIPTION Bob is mopping floors in janitors uniform. Sam pops in, supervises.
Essence Bob’s keeps clinic cred. And cool and rent money but loses donor claims.
Conflict between characters is Samantha laughs at him. .
Scene Arc Bob mops floor.
Essence: goal Bob’s demotion from donor to sketchy janitor.
Conflict: between characters; Bob bows down to Sam.
Subtext:: Enduring humiliation, Bob’s committed to help Mia by spying on Sam.
Hope/fear: We hope Bob helps Mia.
ACT 2
UNDERHANDED PLOT TO TELL Mia about Wyle and Sam.
EXT. CLINIC DOCTOR’S PARKING LOT – DAY
Sam follows Bob out, begs him to not tell Mia but he wants Mia and threatens to separate Mia from Wyle with this information.
EXT. WYLE AND MIA FIGHT, SHE RUNS OUT.
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Mia and Wyle fight. Mia runs out, running into Bob who was stalking her.
Ectopic pregnancy and Wyle opposes abortion, which she did.
Scene Arc to change : Bob promises MIA they will always be friends. Change is against her warning to stay away, that Wyle gets violent.
End of scene is chasing after her promising friends always, like college.
Essence Goal.
INT. CLINIC- NIGHT
Wyle opposes Bob. Sam told Wyle who blames Bob as the father. Uncertain, BOB SNEAKS RECORDS SEEING IT WAS HIS ECTOPIC BABY Mia lost.
This is two or three sceenes????
Bob opposes wWyle Bob says how did you know who told you I was father, records are secret?
Wyle is trapped, weakly lies out of trap or blames Mia?
Wyle passes test for potency, can father Mia’s baby.
Daddy’s little girl scene.
STORY POINTS TO TURN INTO SCENES:
MIA IS FIRST TO REPENT: APOLOGIZES TO BOB HE DIDN’T CAUSE IT: Prolactin caused it. Pituatary overactive from so much yoga. Super fertile
Talks to yoga friend who says be careful with headstands, stop so not so fertile.
How does Bob and Sam get Mia reconciled to Wyle? Sam threatens Wyle t0 tell Mia about their affair. Why? Because Bob will if she doesn’t.
EXT DOCK MARINA – NIGHT
Wyle gets Mia to visit his yacht.
EXT. OUTSIDE YACHT – NIGHT
Wyle gets amorous, as does she, hears “get a room” yells.
INT. YACHT – NIGHT
THEY GET DRUNK AS Wyle drinks laced Viagra, etc snuck in by Mia.
INT. YACHT – NIGHT
WYLE SO EXCITED W MIA HE ends up sex with a FRACTURED PENIS.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM- DAY (pp73-77 seasick script
CROWD AROUND Wyle’s as his plaster penis cast hardens.
1. Scene Arc-begin with Wyle sedated in bed and ends Wyle fears popping stitches, holding his penis together.
2. Essence-main objective: Show Wyle’s vulnerability and soft side.
3. conflict: opposition: Sam laughs at him, says sex is trap for men.
4. 5 REQUIREMENTS FOR EACH SCENE
subtext: another meaning beneath: Injury to manhood.
5. Hope2Fear or fear2hope: Wyle/ audience hopes for recovery and fears popping stitches.
SCENE REQUIREMENTS TO BE ADDED
2. Essence-main objective: HUMOR AND Show Wyle’s vulnerability and see him as sympathetic.
3. conflict: opposition: Sam laughs at him, says sex is trap for men, DONATORS ARE LUCKY.
4. subtext: another meaning beneath: Injury to manhood
5. Hope2Fear or fear2hope: Wyle hopes for recovery and fears popping stitches.
EXT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY
CONSPIRACY WITH BOB, MIA AND SAM WHO COVERED UP BUT WYLE PASSED HIS TESTS FOR POTENCY. MIA IS THRILLED.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM/ BED – DAY
WYLE OVERHEARS SAM, IS ENRAGED, PULLS OUT ALL HIS PENIS TUBES, JUMPS OUT OF BED WITH ERECT PLASTER CAST, CHASES HER DOWN THE HALL.
INT. HALL – CONTINUOUS
THAT’S WHAT I CALL A FULL RECOVERY SAYS NURSE TO DR. DICKSON AS THEY WATCH WYLE CHASING SAMANTHA.. WYLE’S AND OTHER VISITORS CHEER WYLE AS HE CHASES SAM. .
INT. HALL – CONTINUOUS
OTHER MEN PATIENTS SAY I WANT that sex drive he had. HE GOT TO CHASE THAT WOMAN. WOW THAT’S A SEX DRIVE, I NEED! Ill pay double!
53. INT HOSPITAL ROOM – LATER
WYLE IS being CONNECTED TO TUBES AGAIN.
Dr. Dickson is crying says over and over My masterpiece, ruined!
says you shot yourself in the foot, maybe not ever heal from those rips and tears.
In despair, he leaves.
Scene Arc-begin with Doctor examining etc Wyle sedated in bed and ends with Doctor lamenting Pop PoP POP
2. Essence-main objective: HUMOR AND Show Wyle’s vulnerability and see him as sympathetic.
3. conflict: opposition: Wyle’s temper could ruin his manhood.
4. subtext: another meaning beneath: Self-inflicted Injury to manhood
5. Hope2Fear or fear2hope: Audience hopes for recovery and fears popping stitches.
Bob comes in room.
LATER
WYLE IS STARING OUT THE WINDOW, DEEP IN BAD THOUGHTS, UNREACHBLE.
BOB SAYS: Hey, stop it, no more suicide talk. I mean even stop thinking about it. A broken dick isn’t a broken life or even a broken marriage. Even for Mr. Coxman! There are other ways, look at me. I should know.
Wyle gets in bob’s face: GROWLS!
BOB GROWLS BACK. SAYS: Wake up, you have a great life! I can help you with her!
10 ADDITIONAL ACT 4 SCENES.
VISION: As a writer, I am an alchemist, turning the ordinary into gold, and in high demand by buyers, producers, and other industry professionals.
What I learned from doing this assignment is: Intrigue is lurking inside dramatic moments.
One sentence description from each act for these elements:
ACT 1 Bob’s Grand Entrance Fizzles
Intrigue: Something underhanded is going on with Bob’s lying, pretend job, pretend girlfriend, pretend importance. And we must discover what it is
Secret Done He lies to everyone, mostly not successful.
Covert Agenda: Bob’s hidden plan that is being enacted is for Bob is donating again.
Hidden identity: A character is either lying or unaware of what his or her true identity is
Conspiracy: An agreement by two or more persons to commit a crime, fraud, or other act without disclosing who they are.
Scheme: An underhanded plot or plan against another.
Superior position: The audience knows something that one or more of the characters don’t know.
Cover up: The act of concealing or preventing investigation or exposure.
Mystery: A key part of the story that has been hidden and we must discover what really happened.
ACT 2 Bob’s complicated Donor job.
Intrigue: Bob promises always friends to Mia but lying since Samantha owns Bob.
Secret Done: Bob knows Wyle’s and Sams affair.
Covert Agenda: Promises Sam secret is safe but not really.
Hidden identity: Bob is unaware of his weakness.
Conspiracy: Bob and Sam’s agreement fails because of Bob’s weakness. .
Scheme: An underhanded plot to lie to Mia about Wyle’s affair with Sam is a plot against another character.
Cover up: Sam interrupts Bob’s date with Mia, concealing or preventing investigation or exposure.
Mystery: A key part of the story is motivation and back stories of Bob, Wyle and Mia. That has been hidden and we must discover what really happened.
ACT 3 Bob, Mia, Sam, Wyle screw up and repent, kinda.
Intrigue: Something underhanded is going on under the surface and we must discover what it is
Secret Done, made, or conducted without the knowledge of others.
Covert Agenda: Bob realizes his donation is covering up his real selfish reasons and problems.
Hidden identity: A character is either lying or unaware. Wyle loves Mia
.
Scheme: An underhanded plot or plan against another. Bob helps Wyle get back with Mia.
Superior position: ectopic pregnancy. Sam knows something that Mia had an ectopic pregnancy smothered the fetus requiring an abortion, Wyle would have opposed.
Cover up: Mia fearful of Wyle, hides this concealing or preventing exposure.
Mystery: A key part of the story that has been hidden and we must discover what really happened. Why does Bob lie about getting fired and janitor job?
Bob sneaks records seeing it was his ectopic baby Mia lost. What is backstory of Mia and Bob? Nothing but sperm donor. Mia blames Bob but he doesn’t know he’s father.
Scheme: An underhanded plot or plan against another: Bob against Wyle and Wyle against Bob.
ACT 4 Redemption (recover)
Intrigue: Something underhanded is going on with Bob and 1. Mia, 2. Sam or 3.whoever.
Covert Agenda: Mia surrenders to Wyle, planned by Bob and Samantha
Conspiracy: An agreement or confession by Bob with Mia or Sam or others act without
Wyle’s knowledge.
Superior position: The audience knows/ suspects something that Bob can’t admit that he just wants to be called “Daddy” Is his bogus cover up for wanting and needing love.
Cover up: Denied earlier, Wyle passes tests for potency, can father Mia’s child.
Mystery: Daddy moment with little girl almost gets Bob arrested because he sneaked Wyle’s classified info.
End of Lesson 9
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WIM Vic Valleau Mod 4: Lesson 8: Depth-Intriguing Moments
VISION: As a writer, I am an alchemist, turning the ordinary into gold, and in high demand by buyers, producers, and other industry professionals.
What I learned from doing this assignment is: Intrigue is lurking inside dramatic moments.
One sentence description from each act for these elements:
ACT 1 Bob’s Grand Entrance Fizzles
Intrigue: Something underhanded is going on with Bob’s lying, pretend job, pretend girlfriend, pretend importance. And we must discover what it is
Secret Done He lies to everyone, mostly not successful.
Covert Agenda: Bob’s hidden plan that is being enacted is for Bob is donating again.
Hidden identity: A character is either lying or unaware of what his or her true identity is
Conspiracy: An agreement by two or more persons to commit a crime, fraud, or other act without disclosing who they are.
Scheme: An underhanded plot or plan against another.
Superior position: The audience knows something that one or more of the characters don’t know.
Cover up: The act of concealing or preventing investigation or exposure.
Mystery: A key part of the story that has been hidden and we must discover what really happened.
ACT 2 Bob’s complicated Donor job.
Intrigue: Bob promises always friends to Mia but lying since Samantha owns Bob.
Secret Done: Bob knows Wyle’s and Sams affair.
Covert Agenda: Promises Sam secret is safe but not really.
Hidden identity: Bob is unaware of his weakness.
Conspiracy: Bob and Sam’s agreement fails because of Bob’s weakness. .
Scheme: An underhanded plot to lie to Mia about Wyle’s affair with Sam is a plot against another character.
Cover up: Sam interrupts Bob’s date with Mia, concealing or preventing investigation or exposure.
Mystery: A key part of the story is motivation and back stories of Bob, Wyle and Mia. That has been hidden and we must discover what really happened.
ACT 3 Bob, Mia, Sam, Wyle screw up and repent, kinda.
Intrigue: Something underhanded is going on under the surface and we must discover what it is
Secret Done, made, or conducted without the knowledge of others.
Covert Agenda: Bob realizes his donation is covering up his real selfish reasons and problems.
Hidden identity: A character is either lying or unaware. Wyle loves Mia
.
Scheme: An underhanded plot or plan against another. Bob helps Wyle get back with Mia.
Superior position: ectopic pregnancy. Sam knows something that Mia had an ectopic pregnancy smothered the fetus requiring an abortion, Wyle would have opposed.
Cover up: Mia fearful of Wyle, hides this concealing or preventing exposure.
Mystery: A key part of the story that has been hidden and we must discover what really happened. Why does Bob lie about getting fired and janitor job?
Bob sneaks records seeing it was his ectopic baby Mia lost. What is backstory of Mia and Bob? Nothing but sperm donor. Mia blames Bob but he doesn’t know he’s father.
Scheme: An underhanded plot or plan against another: Bob against Wyle and Wyle against Bob.
ACT 4 Redemption (recover)
Intrigue: Something underhanded is going on with Bob and 1. Mia, 2. Sam or 3.whoever.
Covert Agenda: Mia surrenders to Wyle, planned by Bob and Samantha
Conspiracy: An agreement or confession by Bob with Mia or Sam or others act without
Wyle’s knowledge.
Superior position: The audience knows/ suspects something that Bob can’t admit that he just wants to be called “Daddy” Is his bogus cover up for wanting and needing love.
Cover up: Denied earlier, Wyle passes tests for potency, can father Mia’s child.
Mystery: Daddy moment with little girl almost gets Bob arrested because he sneaked Wyle’s classified info.
Thank you.
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WIM Vic Valleau Module 4, LESSON 7 DEPTH EMOTIONAL MOMENTS
.
WHAT I LEARNED DOING THIS ASSIGNMENT: Emotional moments come from Empathy IN AUDIENCE WHEN CHARACTERS HONESTLY FACE THEIR CONFLICTS.
EMOTIONAL MOMENTS
Act 1:
SURPRISE Act 1
Lying to friends, BOB does odd jobs at the clinic, just to keep his friends thinking he’s a donor, goes to clinic 2-3 times a week. Changes into janitor clothes. Dresses in a tie after work, to go visit his work friends.
EXCITEMENT: Act 1
Bob is under Threat of discovery with Mom and friends he’s lying about his job,
COURAGE/HUMILITY: Bob bites the bullet, accepts janitor job after fired as over donating,
SUCCESS/WINNING: Bob sees being a donor as an honor, tells everyone lies, he’s prime stud.
LOVE: Bob’S X made a joke when they split us “That’s all you’re good for.” He took it seriously, proving he’s great at something.
FAITHFULNESS: BOB GREW UP AN ABANDONED ORPHAN, RAISED BY AUNT, LIES SHE’S HIS MOTHER, SHE NEEDS HIS MONEY, LIVES WITH HER. .
NEGATIVE EMOTIONS
HATE: BOB SAYS HE MISSES HAVING A FATHER HE COULD HATE, LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE SEEMS TO HATE.
WOUND: Bob tells Stephanie, Clinic manager, he will never give up, UNTIL HE GETS his old job back.
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA
Bob needs job to pretends he’s still a donor, does odd jobs just to stick around.
Embarrassed he got fired for over donating.
BETRAYAL
To keep Samantha’s secret and his job, Bob agrees not to rat out Samantha to Wyle, not his baby.
MORAL ISSUE: BOB attacks Wyle with info when discovered that SAMANTHA SAYS Wyle’s sterile.
HIDDEN WEAKNESS
Bob is a glutton for what people think of him, tries to impress, loses his self respect.and disrespects himself, claims he is Brad Pitt’s brother is laughable.
DISTRESS: Seeing Mia again opens up Bob’s old wound..
SACRIFICE: Bob misses a real life with love. We see cute clinic nurse flirt but he’s busy listening TO HIS OWN THOUGHTS OF his loser mentality, cleaning floors, avoiding Samantha.
ACT 2
BONDING
Bob gets off it, bonds with Mia, saying always friends.
EXCITEMENT: BOB SETS A TRAP FOR WYLE.
NEGATIVE EMOTIONS:
WEAKNESS: UNABLE TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT WYLE’S ATTACKS.
EXCITEMENT: TRAP FALLS APART.
MORAL ISSUE FOR MIA:
MIA GOES ON A DATE WITH BOB TO QUESTION HIM, ALSO ENLIST HIS HELP then tells HIM SHE IS MARRIED BUT SEPARATING.
GENEROUS/KIND: BOB IS TOO HELPFUL, UNTIL HE GETS SLAMMED BY SAMANTHA FOR DATING MIA.
TRAITOR: BOB HIDES HIS CONFLICTING AGENDAS, SERVING SAMANTHA FROM Mila and HIDING HIS AFFECTION FOR MIA FROM WYLE.
ACT 3
BONDING: BOB TELLS WYLE MIA LEFT HIM ALSO IN COLLEGE STANDING AT THE CHURCH ALTER.
HIDDEN WOUND: BOB’S ANNULED MARRIAGE
DISLOYALTY: MIA- NEVER TOLD WYLE ABOUT HER ABORTION FROM ECTOPIC PREGNANCY. HE’S THE FATHER.
LOVE: WYLE HE FALLS IN LOVE WITH HER AGAIN ALTHOUGH THEIR BABY BORN DEAD. SHE HATES HIS PITY AND FORCED AFFECTION.
MORAL ISSUE/ WEAKNESS: BOB REALIZES HE’S DONATING FOR SELFISH REASONS.
ACT 4
SURPRISE/SHOCK/ STRENGTH/ HONESTY/COURAGE:
BOB’S CONFESSION/ LAYING BLAME SPEECH BUSTS EVERYBODY INCLUDING HIMSELF.
WEAKNESS BOB’S LIE, CATCHING SAM AND WYLE, LYING TO MIA,
SUCCESS/WINNING: LAURA THE LAWYER: BOB NEVER FELT GOOD ENOUGH TO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND WHO IS A LAWYER. (MUST BE SETUP IN ACT 2, BEGINNING.
LOVE: Bob expresses his feelings honestly to her, BUT IN HIS SILLY WAY.
Resolution scenes:
Bonding: Bob respects Wyle, vice versa. r.
Surprise: Bob offers to work for Wyle.
Surprise: Wyle professes his love for Mia.
JOY: Mia is JOYFUL for Bob.
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WIM Vic Valleau MODULE 4, LESSON 5 CHARACTER ACTION TRACKS
VISION: As a writer, I am an alchemist, turning the ordinary into gold, creating screenplays that buyers compete to produce.
WHAT I LEARNED DOING THIS ASSIGNMENT IS: finding new actions builds character.
ACT 1 Dressed for a date and with flowers in hand, Bob makes his theatrical entrance. Meanwhile, there is also Wyle there to court his secret girlfriend Manager Samantha from clinic.
Beat 1 Bob studies door marked Donor’s entrance, congratulates himself.
Beat 2 Bob sees Mia, parks in Dr. parking.space, flirts.
He walks past Donor’s door but fails, is disappointed and meekly dismisses Clinic staff giggling at his theatrical entrance.
Beat 3 Wyle and whole waiting room, hide their laughter.
Beat 4 Mia hides in bathroom from Wyle
Beat 5. Mia runs into Bob leaving Donor’s room.
Beat 6. Smitten and chasing Mia, Bob’s fired for chasing Mia.
Beat 11 Cute meet: Minnie giggles at Bob’s embarrassment, as Mia runs out.
Beat 7 Bob talks too much. Bob’s back story. Mom says, 2 week Las Vegas marriage was annulled by W wo said she wasn’t a walking womb and a baby factory when Bob wouldn’t shut up about babies.
Beat 8 Wyle laughs at Bob again after hearing Bob’s exit interview.
Beat 9Neither Mia nor Bob see Wyle or see him or know this at start.
Beat 10.: Mia tells Minnie she had miscarriage from 1<sup>st</sup> husband.
Beat 12 Mia tells Minnie about her miscarriages
Beat 13 INCITING INCIDENT FOR BOB: . He’s fired.
beat 14.Bob’s Exit interview covers annulment reasons, then Lies to Mia .
ACT 2
Wyle blackmails Bob says he will tell Mia if Bob gets unmanageable. i
Bob says fate brought Mia to him, so he’s immovable. She thinks he’s nuts.
Beat 11 Wyle is cornered by Mia. He pretends he is doing favor for his wife when he needs cover with Sam.
Beat 12Mia looks to divorce if she catches Wyle with Sam.
Beat 13. Wyle journeys starts with his muscle contest photos and keeping his secret of being sterile, blaming Mia.
Deeper Layer
Beat 14. Bob fights real love with Minnie, lives in fantasy. .
MIDPOINT (Beat 15) Minnie sneaks Mia’s records to Bob, explains menstrual cycles and when Mia will come in again. 29 days with the moon.
Beat 16 Bob shows college scrapbook with Mia Homecoming queen. He was court jester
:
Beat 17 Bob misunderstands politeness for attraction by Mia
.
Beat 18 Bob asks his men friends if it is love when a woman smiles and says Excuse me”.
Beat 19 Bob asks other women at the clinic if she wants his baby. They laugh.
Beat 20 How does Wyle react to Bob’s pursuit of his wife?
Beat 21 Mia’s lies and both men believe her.
Beat 22 She lies about why she’s at the clinic. She’s spying on him, just used the restroom, to hide from Wyle.
Deeper Layer: Both men want to believe her conflicting stories.
Genre conventions: two men compete for woman’s love.
ACT 3
Beat:23 Bob convinces Mia to leave Wyle,
Beat 24 Bob brings flowers for Mia but she switches card to Minnie.
Beat 25 Mia and Minnie concoct a plan fort Minnie to get Bob.
Beat 26 Plan in effect but fails.
Beat 27 Bob then proposes marriage.
TURNING POINT:
Beat 28 Bob’s marriage proposal to Mia causes her to run.
Beat 29 Wyle scares Bob. Reconciles with Mia.
Beat 30 Bob listens to Mia to pursue Minnie and he agrees.
Deeper Layer: Bob steps up for first time, fights for love but Minnie is
Angry about Bob’s marriage proposal to Mia.
Genre conventions: Bob loses girl
ACT 4
Bob become serious for love so now is mate material, recognized by Mia but Minnie presses his to prove his fidelity.
CLIMAX Bob and Wyle fight, both almost arrested. .
Sam confronts Wyle but Wyle needs to be fighting for Mia who wants him back.
Bob thanks Mia.
Bob is fighting for his integrity, becoming a family man, stable, employed, respected by friends.
Desperate “Daddy” quest ends up. A random baby calls him Daddy in front of police,
Minnie kisses him and asks ”Do you want to be a daddy?” He gives up “Daddy” quest but finds love. .
Gets busted by SAM reporting Bob to police for stealing clinic records and firing Minnie. .
Deeper Layer
Bob’s stepping up, being a man.
Wyle and pregnant Mia re-unite. Bob and Wyle shake hands then kiss their women, as camera pans over wall photo of Clinic of hundreds of laughing baby photos.
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WIM Vic Valleau MODULE 4, LESSON 4 BASIC PLOTTING
VISION: As a writer, I am an alchemist, turning the ordinary into gold, creating screenplays buyers compete to produce.
WHAT I LEARNED DOING THIS ASSIGNMENT IS: making basic plot decisions on beat sheet saves lots of Re-writing v. my old ways of fine tuning each scene but losing plot.
THREE ANGLES: BEGINNING TO END (B/E) , END TO BEGIN (E/B) , BOTH WAYS FROM MAJOR EVENT (B/W) WITH 3 QUESTIONS A,B, and C below from EACH ANGLE:
A. Are there any logical jumps? Mom pushes Bob to meet clerk Minnie, see her when he has appointment.
B. Is the focus on the leads characters journey?
C. Does it feel like anything is missing?
A. ARE THERE ANY LOGIC JUMPS? Why this clinic? Wyle’s affair with Sam, keeps him coming back but Mia nor Bob know this at start.
(E/B)
B. IS THE FOCUS ON THE LEAD CHARACTERS JOURNEY?
Yes, we follow Bob who wrongly says fate brought Mia to him. She thinks he’s nuts.
C. DOES IT FEEL LIKE ANYTHING IS MISSING? Bob’s backstory is missing. Why is he a sperm donor. Why is it important to him? Why does his mother encourage him? What is toll she suffers?
Protag Journey Structure;
Bobs journeys starts with him being public, Guinness worlds record of donations??? On table book is proof of his even puffed up important. from lonely birthday party to falling in love, first with Mia a married woman, then with Minnie, the right woman.
WYLE: Antag Journey Structure:
A. ARE THERE ANY LOGIC JUMPS: Why risk his marriage if Mia discovers Sam? Mia follows him, is there to find out why he is there. Mia bumps into Bob with donation spilling out.
B. IS THE FOCUS ON THE LEAD CHARACTERS JOURNEY?
Wyle sneaks around, or blusters with self importance. He pretends he is doing favor for his wife when he needs cover with Sam.
C. DOES IT FEEL LIKE ANYTHING IS MISSING? Mia’s arc isn’t spelled out. Maybe she’s trying to trick Wyle into admitting affair, then divorce. She’s following him, following her.
Wyle journeys starts with his muscle contest photos and keeping his secret of being sterile, blaming Mia.
Deeper Layer
Bob insults Minnie for not being Playmate material, fights real love, lives in fantasy of important to grows up.
Wyle’s disrespect for everyone.
Genre conventions
Cute meet? Minnie giggles at Bob’s embarrassment, as Mia runs out. .
ACT 4 back into Act 1, (E/B)
(B/W) MAJOR EVENT SO GO BACK AND FORTH
Bob is smitten, obsessed like a first love teen age boy toward Mia. Awkward, clumsy, stuttering.
Going forward is:
B. IS THE FOCUS ON THE LEAD CHARACTERS JOURNEY?
Bob shows demonstrated love for Mia. How? Writes songs on guitar, poetry, flowers, greeting cards, bumps into her chance meetings, becomes a nuisance. Did Bob go to college with Mia, pursued her then?
Going backwards is:
Bob misunderstands politeness for attraction by Mia.
Bob asks his men friends if it is love when a woman smiles and says Excuse me”.
Bob asks other women at the clinic if she wants his baby. They laugh.
C. DOES IT FEEL LIKE ANYTHING IS MISSING?
How does Wyle react to Bob’s pursuit of his wife?
Protag Journey Structure Loves Mia wrongly. She is flattered. He builds up romance.
(B/f) Antag Journey Structure: Mia’s lies and both men believe e her. She lies about why she’s at the clinic. Wyle hates Bob, yet both accept Mia’s explanation of why she’s at clinic.. She’s spying on him, just used the restroom.
Deeper Layer: Both men want to believe she’s there for donation. in agreement are deceived with story
Genre conventions: two men compete for woman’s love.
ACT 3
Bob’s marriage proposal to Mia causes her to run.
B. IS THE FOCUS ON THE LEAD CHARACTERS JOURNEY?
Bob is a die hard romantic, wrongly pro[posing,
C. DOES IT FEEL LIKE ANYTHING IS MISSING? Earlier he convinces her to separate from Wyle
Mia tells Minnie about her miscarriages.
Protag Journey Structure:
Bob: Diamond ring proposal to Mia, separated from Wyle.
Antag Journey Structure Wyle attacks Bob. Reconciles with Mia.
Deeper Layer: Bob steps up for first time, fights for love.
Genre conventions: loses girl
ACT 4
A. ARE THERE ANY LOGIC JUMPS: Yes Why are we here, now, inescapable confrontation? How?
Who is giving party and why? Wyle is courting Mia to get her back. Party is meeting of opposing forces. Where is party? Restaurant? Reunion? Camping trip?
B. IS THE FOCUS ON THE LEAD CHARACTERS JOURNEY?
Wyle needs to be fighting for Mia.
Bob is fighting for his integrity, becoming a man, a man who is a 4 principled desirable mate? Wants family, is stable, employed, respected by friends.
C. DOES IT FEEL LIKE ANYTHING IS MISSING?
Protag Journey Structure: How or why does Bob become mate material, recognized by Mia but Minnie presses in. Desperate “Daddy” quest ends up. A random baby calls him Daddy in front of police, to Minnie kisses him and asks ”Do you want to be a daddy?” He gives up “Daddy” quest but finds love. .
Antag Journey Structure
Gets busted by SAM reporting to police.
Deeper Layer
Bob’s stepping up, being a man.
Genre conventions
Happily ever after? Bob gets unmarried girl, better than Mia married. Minnie finally accepts flowers from Bob, after secret crush. Minnie takes flowers Bob brought for Mia, switches card in vase. Wyle and pregnant Mia re-unite. Bob and Wyle shake hands then kiss their women, as camera pans over wall photo of Clinic of hundreds of laughing baby photos.
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WIM Vic Valleau MODULE 4, LESSON 3 BEAT SHEET 1
VISION: As a writer, I am an alchemist, turning the ordinary into gold, creating screenplays in demand from buyers.
WHAT I LEARNED DOING THIS ASSIGNMENT IS: I’m hesitant to do beat sheet. I feel constrained. I’m a gardener, planting story ideas to bloom, not an architect who works from a blueprint with set points.
Protag Journey Structure;
Bobs journeys starts with him being public, Guiness worlds record of donations??? On table book is proof of his even puffed up important. from lonely birthday party to falling in love, first with Mia a married woman, then with Minnie, the right woman. .
Antag Journey Structure:
Wyle journeys starts with his muscle contest photos and keeping his secret of being sterile, blaming Mia.
Deeper Layer
Bob fights real love, lives in fantasy of important to grows up.
Wyle’s disrespect for everyone.
Genre conventions
Cute meet? Minnie giggles at Bob’s embarrassment.
Protag Journey Structure Loves Mia wrongly
Antag Journey Structure: Wyle hates Bob, yet accepts Mia’s need for baby.
Deeper Layer: Both men see Mia’s need for a baby
Genre conventions
ACT 3
Protag Journey Structure:
Bob: Diamond ring proposal to Mia, separated from Wyle.
Antag Journey Structure Wyle attacks Bob. Reconciles with Mia.
Deeper Layer Mano a mano, who wins
Genre conventions: loses girl
ACT 4
Protag Journey Structure: Desperate “Daddy” quest to baby calls him Daddy in front of police, to Minnie kisses him and asks ”Do you want to be a daddy?” He gives up “Daddy” quest but finds love. .
Antag Journey Structure
Gets busted by SAM reporting to police.
Deeper Layer
Jealous woman, Bob’s stepping up, being a man.
Genre conventions
Happily ever after? Bob gets unmarried girl, better than Mia married. Minnie finally accepts flowers from Bob, after secret crush.
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Vic Valleau Purpose Driven Supporting Character Profiles Module 3, Lesson 8
VISION: As a writer, I am an alchemist, turning the ordinary into gold.
WHAT I LEARNED DOING this assignment: Working from premise, then leading characters, creating purpose driven supporting characters is a logical extension of that story line.
NAME Molly
ROLE Sperm Clinic Charge nurse, stay away from Eve, manager
MAIN PURPOSE: Mia asks Molly for help . Molly helps. hiding donation, friend helps Mia even in a bar, no alcohol,
VALUE (INCREASES humor, tension, suspense) , helps Mia escape divorce and husband with lies.
NAME: EVE
ROLE: Clinic manager Hard nose, manager no nonsense.
MAIN PURPOSE: Snoops for trouble at clinic or with services. Is Mia a customer or just a friend of Molly???
VALUE: unravels twisted story lines, we4 see thru her eyes. Becomes a detective, follows Mia. Bob follows Mia, H follows Mia.
NAME ZAK
ROLE: Bobs work nemesis
MAIN PURPOSE: Defines Bob’s character,
VALUE: Pushes plot, humor
NAME: Snoop
ROLE: Neighbor Kid
MAIN PURPOSE: Spies, pushes Bob’s character arc, tension, humor
VALUE: Outsider sees foolishness
DINNER DATE:
NAME: Therapist Driver
ROLE: BOB AND Mia’s uber driver.
MAIN PURPOSE: Sounding board to escape H. Driver is a psychologist moonlighting. Charges.
VALUE: Challenges Bob to be a man.
COSTUME PARTY:
NAME: H Girlfriend#1
ROLE: H GIRLFRIEND#1.
MAIN PURPOSE: Shadow like woman like Mia
VALUE: Humor, pushes plot, 2 Katharine Hepburns. Mia and gf#1.
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WIM Module 3 Lesson 7 Character Profiles, Part 2 7-11
Vic Valleau
Vision: As a writer, I am an alchemist, turning the ordinary into gold.
What I learned: WE are arming a character with traits to deeply engage the audience and deliver powerfully on that character’s journey by Looking at the 11character profile parts.
BOB, protagonist
High concept. Bob, a sperm donor with 40 babies, wants one to call him dad.
Bob’s character journey is from a Walter Middy life to exploding into fatherhood.
The Actor attractors for this character-
Deep subtext with great acting needed to portray characters wounds leading to his healing. Sadly, Bob deceives himself as to his social value v. just a sperm donor yet tries everything to be important.
1. Role in the story: Sperm donor, son, wanna be boyfriend of Mia, clown to many, Likeable poser.
2. Age range and description; 40-45, good looking, wiry, Caucasian, too old and too short for sperm donor.
3. Core traits- Ambitious, Too honest, Foolish, gives away his power, lives in a haze of pretense, dreamer with all facts against him.
4. Motivation: Want/Need: Conflicted with dreams v. who he is. He knows he needs something to grab onto, ground him, grabs at Mia as a lifesaver.
5. Wound: What they can’t face. Worst nightmare is never be called Daddy.
6. Likeability: People laugh at him, but he’s friends to everybody,
Relatability- Easily taken advantage of. Not sophisticated in den of Hollywood sophisticates.
Empathy- too open, vulnerable and accessible emotionally. We wait and fear for his day of reckoning.
7. Character subtext: To help create families.
8. Character Intrigue: Embarrassed so hides sperm donor from his mother.
9. Flaw: Hiding secret life exposes him to constantly trying hard to not be discovered or tripped up and says wrong thing, on dates, even with friends, coworkers.
10. Values: his mother and her respect.
11. Character dilemma: wants to tell all but can’t take the shame.
MIA
MIA ANTAG/PROTAG (DRAMATIC TRIANGLE)
A. High concept. Bob, a sperm donor with 40 babies, wants one to call him dad.
B. This Characters journey from clinics to baby’s birthday.
C. The Actor attractors for this character-
Mia is Bob’s disapproving savior. She scopes out Bob, sees he deceives himself as to his social value v. just a sperm donor. Helps him get real.
1. Role in the story Dramatic Triangle, helps Bob, restores his family.
2. Age range and description 30-40, very attractive, and sexy.
3. Core traits: Reluctant Helper, generous, charming and disarming
4. Motivation: Want/Need to get pregnant and start a family
5. Wound: What they can’t face. Worst nightmare is: Husband will leave her.
6. Likeability/Relatability/Empathy:
Likeability: Bob adores her. Clinic loves her. She imitates old time movie star, maybe funny voice, comes to clinic reception desk as that old time movie star Katharine Hepburn imitation and disguise. Every day is Halloween.
Relatability Sympathetic Lonely, with husbands’ bad treatment. Wants to escape her husband. She’s annoyed., credit card bounces- no sperm donation.
Empathy: Husband disrespects her for no babies, broke, Husband obviously unfaithful. She must team up with Bob and Bob’s mother as helper and spy.
7. Character subtext: Afraid to say, to be a mother of an exceptional/ outstanding child.
8. Character Intrigue Has shopped the world’s clinics for perfect sperm.
9. Flaw: She is overpowered by husband, gets sidetracked.
10. Values: Family, loyalty
11. Character dilemma: She Loves Bob’s friendship but can’t call it love.
Bob’s Mom: Antagonist
High concept. Bob, a sperm donor with 40 babies, wants one to call him dad.
Mom Character journey from goes from Pep talking Bob to date to baby’s birthday party.
The Actor attractors for this character-
Mom hides his lying, finally cost is too high, sees he deceives himself as to his social value v. just a sperm donor. She sees danger in helping him, mostly from hurting Bob, ruining their relationship
1. Role in the story- Antagonist, Nudges Bob,
2. Age range and description; 60-70, older, wifely and motherly
3. Core traits; Smothering and overly mothering, lacks understanding/loyalty,
4. Motivation: Want/Need FAMILY
5. Wound: Worst nightmare would be to Lose Bob
6. Likeability/Relatability/Empathy:
7. Character subtext: Lies about family history, Bob’s father was a war hero.
8. Character Intrigue: Social climber
9. Flaw: lazy, no real facts, gets caught in lies
10. Values respect
11. Character dilemma Dreams of being important, famous, celebrates famous.
Mia’s husband, Antagonist
High concept. Tries to stop Bob and Mia, hates idea of sperm donor, refuses to let baby call Bob Daddy. Bob, a sperm donor to Mia, wants the baby to call him dad.
This Characters desperate journey from trying to stop donor Bob and Mia from first meeting to baby’s birthday.
The Actor attractors for this character- Smartest and toughest guy in the room, A retired MMA (Mixed martial arts) fighter. Husband scopes out Bob, sees he deceives himself as to his social value v. just a sperm donor. He creates danger to Bob and Mia and Bob’s mother.
1. Role in the story Antagonist,. Beats up Bob.
2. Age range and description: fit, older, rich, high class, MMA champion.
3. Core traits: Proud, intolerant, Selfish and self-centered, clever, very smart and resourceful.
4. Motivation: Want/Need to be recognized as father, important, unbeatable, needs dominance,
5. Wound: What they can’t face. Worst nightmare is wife leaves him, so his friends would laugh at him, like they laugh at Bob.
6. Likable/Relatable/Empathy
Likeable: Mia likes her husband, respects him, yet wants a baby he can’t provide.
Relatable: Sterile, needs help, hates getting sperm donor.
Empathetic: he will lose Mia without sperm donation, lost 2 wives who divorced him, earlier.
7. Character subtext: Outsized ego,
8. Character Intrigue: hides his humble origins
9. Flaw: Brags to the wrong people who know better
10. Values: Fitness, physical and mental
11. Character dilemma: Hungry for recognition, yet people see thru him.
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Vic Valleau WIM Module 3 Lesson 6 Character Profiles, Part 1
Vision: AS a writer I am an alchemist, turning the ordinary into gold.
What I learned is: Ferreted out little character facts, traits, etc. explode into big scenes.
FOUR LEAD CHARACTERS: BOB, Mia, Bob’s Mom, Mia’s husband: tell us the following:
BOB PROTAGONIST
High concept. Bob, a sperm donor with 40 babies, wants one to call him dad.
This Characters journey from lying to mom about going on dates and BOASTING ABOUT meeting Mia to baby’s birthday.
The Actor attractors for this character-
Deep subtext needed to portray characters wounds leading to his healing. Sadly, Bob deceives himself as to his social value v. just a sperm donor, yet tries everything to be important.
1. Role in the story: Sperm donor, son, wanna be boyfriend of Mia, clown to many, Likeable poser.
2. Age range and description; 40-45, good looking, wiry, Caucasian, too old and too short for sperm donor.
3. Core traits- Ambitious, Too honest, Foolish, gives away his power, lives in a haze of pretense, dreamer with all facts against him.
4. Motivation: Want/Need: Conflicted with dreams v. who he is. He knows he needs something to grab onto, ground him, grabs at Mia as a lifesaver.
5. Wound: What they can’t face. Worst nightmare is never be called Daddy.
6. Likeability: People laugh at him, but he’s friends to everybody,
Relatability- Easily taken advantage of. Not sophisticated in den of Hollywood sophisticates.
Empathy- too open, vulnerable and accessible emotionally. We wait and fear for his day of reckoning.
MIA ANTAG/PROTAG (DRAMATIC TRIANGLE)
A. High concept. Bob, a sperm donor with 40 babies, wants one to call him dad.
B. This Characters journey from meeting Bob and donation to baby’s birthday.
C. The Actor attractors for this character-
Mia is Bob’s disapproving savior in disguise of Bob’s enemy, scopes out Bob, sees he deceives himself as to his social value v. just a sperm donor. Helps him get real.
1. Role in the story Dramatic Triangle, helps Bob, restores his family.
2. Age range and description 30-40, very attractive, and sexy.
3. Core traits: Reluctant Helper, generous, charming and disarming
4. Motivation: Want/Need to get pregnant and start a family
5. Wound: What they can’t face. Worst nightmare is: Husband will leave her.
6. Likeability/Relatability/Empathy:
Likeability: Bob adores her. Clinic loves her. She imitates old time movie star, maybe funny voice, comes to clinic reception desk as that old time movie star Katharine Hepburn imitation and disguise. Every day is Halloween.
Relatability Sympathetic Lonely, with husbands’ bad treatment. Wants to escape her husband. She’s annoyed., credit card bounces- no sperm donation.
Empathy: Husband disrespects her for no babies, broke, Husband obviously unfaithful, She must team up with Bob and Bob’s mother’s as helper and spy.
High concept. Bob, a sperm donor with 40 babies, wants one to call him dad.
This Characters journey from goes from Pep talking Bob who lies about his “date” to meeting Mia and donation to baby’s birthday.
The Actor attractors for this character- Mia scopes out Bob, sees he deceives himself as to his social value v. just a sperm donor. She sees danger in helping him, mostly from her husband.
1. Role in the story
2. Age range and description
3. Core traits; Smothering and overly mothering, lacks loyalty,
4. Motivation: Want/Need FAMILY
5. Wound: Worst nightmare would be to Lose Bob
6. Likeability/Relatability/Empathy:
Mia’s husband, Antagonist
High concept. Tries to stop Bob and Mia, hates idea of sperm donor, refuses to let baby call Bob Daddy. Bob, a sperm donor to Mia, wants the baby to call him dad.
This Characters desperate journey from trying to stop donor Bob and Mia from first meeting to baby’s birthday.
The Actor attractors for this character- Smartest and toughest guy in the room, A retired MMA (Mixed martial arts) fighter. Husband scopes out Bob, sees he deceives himself as to his social value v. just a sperm donor. He creates danger to Bob and Mia and Bob’s mother.
1. Role in the story Antagonist,. Beats up Bob.
2. Age range and description: fit, older, rich, high class, MMA champion.
3. Core traits: Proud, intolerant, Selfish and self-centered, clever, very smart and resourceful.
4. Motivation: Want/Need to be recognized as father, important, unbeatable, needs dominance, .
5. Wound: What they can’t face. Worst nightmare is wife leaves him, so his friends would laugh at him, like they laugh at Bob.
6. Likable/Relatable/Empathy
Likeable: Mia likes her husband, respects him, yet wants a baby he can’t provide.
Relatable: Sterile, needs help, hates getting sperm donor.
Empathetic: he will lose Mia without sperm donation, lost 2 wives who divorced him, earlier.
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Vic Valleau Likeability/Relatability/EmpathyModule 3 Lesson 5
Vision AS a writer, I am an alchemist, turning the ordinary into Gold.
What I learned doing this assignment: I love my characters, especially making them likeable/relatable/empathetic. More flaws means more relatable and big flaws make them empathetic.
Brainstorm one or more ways you can present your Protagonist through each of these:
BOB
Likeability- He is friends and considerate to everybody. His Friends, co-workers, tease him about donating sperm, Can’t get a date tonight? He laughs at teasing or at least doesn’t get hostile.
Sperm Clinic staff loves his silliness. Says he’s a movie star doing Charlie Chaplin little Tramp walk. save the cat helps old lady find her cat, Meets up with woman Dog walker with 8 dogs. Instant connection, untangling the leashes. .
Relatability- Sympathetic, Extremely lonely at night and celibate, clearly not by choice. Winning and losing? Bob loses a lot. He’s a loser with vending machines, even kids steal his lunch when he’s trying to give it to them. Losses including his unrequited love for Mia. Bob knows what’s right for Mia but she hates advice good or bad. .Bob’s spied on by 5 onlookers, some are kids with walkie talkies going into clinic. Rob him coming out after payment from donation. Arrested by police watching him give money to drug gang kids,
Empathy: Majorly damaging experience: Mia gets restraining order against him. crippling bicycle accident arm in sling, arrested, going broke, losing too much gambling, kid bicycle mob chases him, debts for action figures. Attacked by Big Bertha as Male Chauvinist Pig for donating sperm- He jokingly calls this a sexual experience.
Ways my Antagonist could be presented through each of these:
MIA
Likeability: Bob adores her. Clinic loves her. She imitates old time movie star, maybe funny voice, comes to clinic reception desk as that old time movie star Katharine Hepburn imitation and disguise. Every day is Halloween.
Relatability Sympathetic Lonely, with husbands’ bad treatment. Wants to escape her husband. She’s annoyed., credit card bounces- no sperm donation. So must be on her own, stranded with no place to live, beg Bob, but his terms are only with sex.
Empathy: Husband disrespects her for no babies, broke, Husband obviously unfaithful, She must team up with Bob and Bob’s mother’s helper and spy. They are dressed up as Noir detectives to blackmail the husband. Husband hired Bob to watch Mia, but in secret only.
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Vic Valleau’s Character Intrigue
Vision: As a writer I am an alchemist, turning ordinary into gold.
What I learned doing this assignment is: Adding intrigue, kicks up my interest in character and story. From the added intrigue, creative and new original scene visualizations pop into my head. Casting Theo Von as Bob?
Role: Protagonist Bob Pit
Hidden agenda: Be the king!
Competition: All desirable women and what women say are good looking datable men. He hides, pretends they don’t exist.
Conspiracies: Pity Bob preaches population decline. He says fault is with Women who shun short, quiet well-meaning men, also Internet dating sites run by women against men. He tries but too short, too bald, too skinny, to self critical, stops himself because of his faults, weaknesses, his own worst enemy.
Secrets 40 your old Virgin and Never had any interest from a woman or a girlfriend. He just had plastic surgery on his Jimmy.
Deception: His deceptions become new goals. Example: Pretends to be secret stud,
Unspoken Wound: Momma’s boy, feels castrated. .
Secret identity: Macho action Hero
Idea of how Bobs intrigue subtext might show up in movie:
He freaks out around desirable women, then tries to hide it, studders, forgets everything including his own name, makes terrible impression esp. with new people. Default is posturing Stud, very unconvincing.
Role: Antagonist Mia
Hidden agenda: To get pregnant, Keep Bob hidden, away from Mia’s controlling husband
Competition: Her husband plays around, every woman. Conspiracies: Thinks everybody’s after husband and/or his money. Secrets: Her husband controls with money and hates everyone but hides it.
She hires Bob’s detective agency to find her donor and spy on husband. WE have no one by that name Bob Pit.
Deception: pretends she believes Bob is brother to famous A-list actor.
Unspoken Wound: Ashamed she married money.
Secret Identity: Before meeting husband, actual call girl.
Idea of how Mia’s intrigue subtext might show up in movie:
1. She’s very busy hiding clues to Bob’s identity. 2. She looks for movie star sperm. 3. Hides her call girl past until called to Bob’s bed, freaks out. 4. Fights off her husbands girlfriends and 5. Bob who is after her husband’s money.
Role: Antagonist Bob’s Mom.
Hidden agenda” Protect Bob from life.
Competition: She stops anyone getting close to Bob.
Conspiracies: Believes Bob’s BS
Secrets: says doesn’t know Bob’s father.
Deception: pretense she’s a widow of war hero
Unspoken Wound: Bob should be a girl, her playmate doll.
Secret Identity: Silent protester: Sabotages her sons any potential friends and esp. Bob’s girlfriends.
Idea of how Bob’s mom intrigue subtext might show up in movie:
Very protective keeps Bob isolated, believes his BS when convenient, fights off Bob’s father who wants to make Bob a man, lies Bob’s father is a war hero and so is Bob, is a saboteur against Bob’s friends, says beware, Bob is evil, possessed, talks to voodoo dolls (action figures) every day.
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Module 3, Lesson 3, Character Subtext. Vic Valleau
VISION: AS A WRITER, I AM AN ALCHEMIST, TURNING ORDINARY INTO GOLD.
What I learned from doing this assignment is : Exploring deeply for subtext is most rewarding path to building flesh and blood characters.
Movie Title Example: When Harry Met Sally</font>
Character Name: SallySubtext Identity: Sally is a Virgo on steroids. Very Loyal, Picky eater, subdued expression of emotion yet a connoisseur
Subtext trait She orders food in an incomprehensibly, complicated and confusing. detail, guaranteeing upset. Note, the upset is overlooked but Harry comments too late.
Subtext logline: Actions She turned off or tolerates Harry’ bragging. Hates his speeches, about women, but explodes with orgasm speech. She justifies him to her friends when she’s not sure herself about him. Shows her loyalty.
Possible areas of subtext activity</font>
Dates, dining, walking in park, both are repressed emotional cripples. Say I hate you, but can’t say I love you.</font>
For your two leads, brainstorm these answers:
Mia Spitz
subtext identity: Unappreciated wife
Subtext traits: She covertly gets revenge, withholds.
Mia covertly accepts sperm donor names Bob Pits, to deceive her husband. </font>
Possible areas of subtext: Formal dinners with husband’s important friends, arguments with Bob Pits at his work, girlfriends humiliating her at sorority dinners.</font>
Act 1 Unappreciated wife- H is mad at her for asking for sperm donation. Secretly, she gets donation.
Act 2 Gets revenge, struggles to hide Bob, ends up discovered. </font>
hides deception fro from H, yet tells husband who hunts down Bob. </font>
Act 3. Bob negotiates with husband to stay away, give up any claims. </font>
Act 4 Bob demands to see child who says Daddy to Bob but also says Daddy to the next man who walks in.
Character Name: Bob Pits.
Subtext Identity: Like Walter Middy, Bob lives movie star fantasy of his almost namesa
Subtext traits: Sneaky, in poverty and in denial, Evasive, private like character of Leonardo’s driver: Brad Pitt in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.
Subtext logline: Believes he is an overlooked movie star action hero or superman in street clothes, with a duty to donate sperm to help less fortunate.
Possible Areas of Subtext .
Act 1: He sets up action hero scenarios and personas, secret life where he’s needed to save everyone.
Act 2 at Work and butting into others problems </font>
Act 3 Getting kicked out of everything, including boy scouts, gets decked for his butting in. </font>
Act 4 Stops himself from butting in. Is complimented by his mother.
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<header aria-label=”Message”>
Victor Valleau <victorvalleau@yahoo.com>
To:Victor Valleau
Sat, Sep 3 at 11:40 PM
</header>
<font size=”6″>Module 3, Lesson 3, Character Subtext. </font>
<font size=”6″>VISION: AS A WRITER, I AM AN ALCHEMIST, TURNING ORDINARY INTO GOLD. </font>
<font size=”6″>What I learned from doing this assignment is : Exploring deeply for subtext is most rewarding path to flesh and blood characters.
</font><font size=”6″><font face=”bookman old style, new york, times, serif” size=”6″>Movie Title Example: When Harry Met Sally</font>
</font><font face=”bookman old style, new york, times, serif” size=”6″>Character Name: Sally</font>
<font size=”5″>Subtext Identity<font color=”#343434″ face=”Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif”>- A Virgo on steroids. Very Loyal </font><font color=”#343434″>friend</font></font><font color=”#343434″><font size=”5″><font face=”bookman old style, new york, times, serif”><font face=”Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif”>, Picky eater, </font>difficult date<font face=”Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif”>, subdued expression of emotion. a </font></font>connoisseur. <font face=”bookman old style, new york, times, serif”> </font></font> </font>
<font face=”bookman old style, new york, times, serif” size=”6″>Subtext trait: Doesn’t see her detailing her food order as an annoying habit of dining in elegant restaurants and </font>ruining the elegant mood. She orders food in an incomprehensibly, complicated and confusing. detail, guaranteeing upset. Note, the upset is overlooked but Harry comments too late.
<font face=”bookman old style, new york, times, serif” size=”6″>Subtext logline: Actions She turned off or tolerates Harry’ bragging. </font>
<font face=”bookman old style, new york, times, serif” size=”6″>Hates his speeches, about women, but explodes with orgasm speech,
</font><font face=”bookman old style, new york, times, serif” size=”6″>She justifies him to her friends when she’s not sure herself about him. Shows her loyalty. </font>
<font face=”bookman old style, new york, times, serif” size=”6″>Possible areas of subtext activity</font>
<font face=”bookman old style, new york, times, serif” size=”6″>Dates, dining, walking in park, both are repressed emotional cripples. Say I hate you </font>
<font face=”bookman old style, new york, times, serif” size=”6″>but can’t say I love you.</font>
<font face=”bookman old style, new york, times, serif” size=”6″>For your two leads, brainstorm these answers: </font>
<font face=”bookman old style, new york, times, serif” size=”6″>Character Name: Mia</font>
subtext identity: Unappreciated wife
Subtext traits: She covertly gets revenge, withholds.
<font color=”#343434″ face=”bookman old style, new york, times, serif” size=”6″>Subtext logline: Mia covertly accepts sperm donor names Bob Pits, to deceive her husband. </font>
<font color=”#343434″ face=”bookman old style, new york, times, serif” size=”6″>Possible areas of subtext: Formal dinners with husband’s important friends, arguments with Bob Pits at his work, girlfriends humiliating her at sorority dinners.</font>
<font color=”#343434″ face=”bookman old style, new york, times, serif” size=”6″>Act 1Unappreciated wife- H is mad at her for asking for sperm donation. Secretly, she gets donation. </font>
<font color=”#343434″ face=”bookman old style, new york, times, serif” size=”6″>Act 2 Gets revenge, struggles to hidi Bob, ends up doscovered. </font>
<font color=”#343434″ face=”bookman old style, new york, times, serif” size=”6″>hides deception frotells husband who hunts down Bob. </font>
<font color=”#343434″ face=”bookman old style, new york, times, serif” size=”6″>Act 3. Bob negotiates with husband to stay away, give up any claims. </font>
<font color=”#343434″ face=”bookman old style, new york, times, serif” size=”6″>Act 4 </font>
<font color=”#343434″ face=”bookman old style, new york, times, serif” size=”6″>Character Name: Bob Pits.</font>
<font color=”#343434″ face=”bookman old style, new york, times, serif” size=”6″>Subtext Identity: Like Walter Middy, Bob lives movie star fantasy of his almost namesake. </font>
<font color=”#343434″ face=”bookman old style, new york, times, serif” size=”6″>Subtext traits: Sneaky, in poverty and in denial, Evasive, private like character of Leonardo’s driver: Brad Pitt in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.
</font><font color=”#343434″ face=”bookman old style, new york, times, serif” size=”6″>Subtext logline: Believes he is an overlooked movie star action hero or superman in street clothes, with a duty to donate sperm to help less fortunate. </font>
<font color=”#343434″ face=”bookman old style, new york, times, serif” size=”6″>Possible Areas of Subtext </font>
<font color=”#343434″ face=”bookman old style, new york, times, serif” size=”6″>Act 1: He sets up action hero scenarios and personas, secret life where he’s needed to save everyone. </font>
<font color=”#343434″ face=”bookman old style, new york, times, serif” size=”6″>Act 2 at Work and butting into others problems </font>
<font color=”#343434″ face=”bookman old style, new york, times, serif” size=”6″>Act 3 Getting kicked out of everything, including boy scouts, gets decked for his butting in. </font>
<font color=”#343434″ face=”bookman old style, new york, times, serif” size=”6″>Act 4 Stops himself from butting in. Is complimented by his mother. </font>
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Hal/Cheryl Sorry, my red highlighting where I added new conventions didn’t post with my additions #6.
Vic Valleau
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WIM Vic Valleau Module 2 Lesson 6
VISION: As a writer, I am an alchemist, turning ordinary into gold.
WHAT I LEARNED: Filling in blanks is fun way to write, just ask the right questions and wait for my subconscious to answer.
Concept: Bob, a sperm donor to 40 babies, wants one who calls him dad!
ROMANTIC COMEDY CONVENTIONS
Bob and Suzanne take journey of love (JOL) from
1.Cute meet 2 Denial of love 3. Overwhelming attraction to 4. Breaking up over separation/ differences to 5. Reuniting
ACT ONE: 25 TO 30 PAGES
OPENING; As is his habit, Bob spies and tracks on many couples who get his frozen sperm. He is up against secrecy laws and procedures.
ADDED: He chases women who leave clinic with igloo ice chests protecting frozen sperm. Other customers have it shipped to the future mother. He begs them to let his baby call him dad, but he’s just a nuisance.
ADDED OPENING: CLINIC has gay couples seeking sperm, reading brochures of qualifications of male donors
ADDED: CUTE-MEET/COMEDY CONVENTIONS
Being sleepy, with sleepy eyes caused by male sexual activity, Bob walks out of #2 Donation room, bumps into, then smiles at a French Suzanne, a customer. She’s French and attracted by his Frenchy sex look. He’s ultra relaxed, ready for a nap to recuperate, sleepy eyes (bedroom eyes) look, so immediate chemistry. ( Overwhelming attraction)
(DENIAL OF LOVE)Thinking she’s an employee instead of a customer just coming out of the ladies room, he guides her back into donation room, hands her his cup of sperm donation. She freaks out, RUNS AWAY, as he runs, CHASING HER through waiting room, insists she take cup of sperm. (COMEDY)
(DENIAL OF LOVE) Upset, she leaves. Defeated and demoralized, he goes outside as Uber driver. Needing an Uber, mistaken but not seeing its him, she gets in watches him.
He sips his coffee from cup identical to sperm donation cup which she watches him drink Another mistake, but recognizing him, she turns around slides out the other door, runs away.
Laughing, Clinic employees watch, tease him. Employee jokes, says: that’s the effect you have on women.
RELATIONSHIP SET UP Clinic employee says, We apologize for mishap, We will set up a date for you, sorry for mishap. We saw how she smiled at you. WE saw the spark, maybe this is Bobs #40 lucky girl. Lets get her pregnant!.
Clinic freezes his sperm. She emails request for 6 foot tall French fathers sperm to be over night Fed Exed.to Paris. Clinic tells him sorry they cant disclose who got his final donation.
INCITING INCIDENT: Owner of Clinic sues him for violations, chasing donor mothers He goes to a very good yet old attorney with a beautiful young wife. Will Bob be a sperm donor for wife, as payment for legal services?
RELATIONSHIP SET-UP/COMEDY Bob dinner date with Suzanne. Clinic tells her it’s a handsome Frenchman, blind date so she’s ultra-ready and beautiful. ISSUES: She expects too much in a man. SEPARATION
ISSUES She says she needs an artist father, not Uber driver who makes donations. She says no woman wants a man sperm donor. He hides HIS 40 kids.
SEPARATION/ BREAKING UP OVER DIFFERENCES: Loser Bob is she walks out on Bob’s date. He’s very attracted to her but she’s flying back to France.
.
TURNING POINT: (COMEDY) He needs ego boost to keep looking. He needs and wants recognition, meets pregnant women, pleads. Husbands threatens to beat him up.
ACT 2 20 TO 30 PAGES. CHALLENGE THE OLD WAYS
NEW PLAN DEVELOPS: list of attempts, tries old ways and fails: Starts PROTECTING HIS DONATIONS AND charging for sperm, brags to his friends.
TURNING POINT: MIDPOINT
Disrupts his reality Maybe he’s not father? Or alternative scenario: friends set up woman as potential mother to have sex with him but he’s too nervous, expecting to be arrested
NEW: Takes Male herbs, pumps up muscles, listens to men’s sexual gurus, DOES EVERYTHING TO BOOST muscle and TESTERONE.
ADDED COMEDY: CLINIC GAVE HIS SPERM TO SUZANNE FED EXED TO PARIS. SHE GETS PREGNANT, CELEBRATES WITH GIRLFRIENDS. THEY ADMIRE A BUFF MUSCLE PHOTO OF HIM AT PARTY. SHE LIES HE’S A FRENCHMAN AND AN ARTIST, 6 FEET TALL AND SPEAKS SEVERAL LANGUAGES.
ACT 3 20-30 pages PROFOUND MOMENTS THAT GIVE USE NEW WAYS
HERO: RETHINKS AND CREATE NEW PLAN-All is lost moment. Becomes laughing stock of men friends. He advertises in sex ads, wrong advertising locations
Asks successful etc men with women strategizes about approaching potential mothers. Devious tricks to get women to use his sperm.
Competition from BEST qualified sperm from clinics, donors are tall, accomplished, educated.
REUNITING He goes to Europe, Paris, wears a beret, paints photo of little girl, mother/clinic sent him, on banks of Siene. While acclimating to French culture goes to Rodin museum, museum of modern Art. Sees French men all have wives and girlfriends! He buys berets, tight t-shirts and jeans, turtlenecks,
Mistakenly, thinks it his baby, Sees woman with baby carriage, accosts her.
New Plan: Adopt, buy a baby, or find an abandoned baby. French baby.
TURNING POINT: HUGE FAILURE/MAJOR TURNING POINT He finds baby abandoned, ultimately takes it to French police. But first, baby father comes and father chases then attacks him. He thinks chaser is a criminal, not baby father so runs away with baby.
ACT 4 25 pages- TEST THE CHANGE IN THIS CHARACTER: PROVE NEW WAYS
Climax/Ultimate Expression of the conflict. Kicked out of hospital.
Resolution- new family/ baby mother.
NEW: REUNITING AND EXPERIENCE LOVE OF THEIR LIFE
In Paris, he is artist, PAINTING A PORTRAIT FROM A PHOTO OF HIS LITTLE GIRL. Photo was sent by the mother to the clinic and clinic forwarded it to him. He is a babe magnet with women he couldn’t get before. He is painting in Paris, from photo of his little girl, sent to him by mother, he met at Clinic and dated. Interested women interrupt him constantly. His wife and cute little daughter greet him.
We hear Daddy, Daddy from the distance. As she is running to him, the girl yells to her dad. A group of his former gamer employees on vacation watch at a distance, shake their heads in disbelief. He sees them, raises his paint brush, dots the air, for emphasis, indicating THE END. .
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WIM Vic Valleau Module 2 Lesson 5 FOUR ACT TRANSFORMATIONAL
VISION: As a writer, I am an alchemist, turning ordinary into gold.
WHAT I LEARNED: Writing inspired and empowered is very fast and easy vs. writing uninspired is very slow and hard.
Concept: Bob, a sperm donor to 40 babies, wants one who calls him dad!
Main Conflict: Bob is average, too ordinary for dates or marriage. Bob needs to find a possible baby mother who acknowledges he is the father. .
Old Ways: Secretive, Dating Advice, webinars, dating lesbians, dating available women, give away sperm online, sell to clinics but undesirable physically, short, not athletic, waiting for contact from mothers of 40 kids. Sneaks around fertility clinics, stalks potential mothers. Sees himself and his job as a loser, a gamer salesperson, a man in a kids cartoon/gamer’s world.
New Ways: Actively asking to impregnate women seeking to be mothers. They believe he is gay or they are gay and have no tolerance for straight men, especially caring for babies.
ACT ONE: 25 TO 30 PAGES
OPENING; As is his habit, Bob spies and tracks on many couples who get his frozen sperm. He is up against secrecy laws and procedures.
INCITING INCIDENT: Clinic sues him for violations, chasing donor mothers He goes to a very old attorney with a beautiful young wife. Will Bob be a sperm donor for wife, as payment for legal services?
TURNING POINT: He wants recognition, meets donee, pleads. Husband threatens to have him arrested.
ACT 2 20 TO 30 PAGES. CHALLENGE THE OLD WAYS
NEW PLAN DEVELOPS: list of attempts, tries old ways and fails: Starts PROTECTING HIS DONATIONS AND charging for sperm, brags to his friends.
TURNING POINT: MIDPOINT
Disrupts his reality Maybe he’s not father? Or alternative scenario: friends set up woman as potential mother to have sex with him but he’s too nervous, expecting to be arrested.
ACT 3 20-30 pages PROFOUND MOMENTS THAT GIVE USE NEW WAYS
HERO: RETHINKS AND CREATE NEW PLAN-All is lost moment. Becomes laughing stock of men friends. He advertises in sex ads, wrong advertising locations
Asks successful etc men with women strategizes about approaching potential mothers. Devious tricks to get women to use his sperm.
Competition from BEST qualified sperm from clinics, donors are tall, accomplished, educated.
He goes to Europe, Paris, wears a beret, paints on banks of Siene, goes to Rodin museum, museum of modern Art, sees woman with baby carriage, accosts her.
New Plan: Adopt, buy a baby, or find an abandoned baby. French baby.
TURNING POINT: HUGE FAILURE/MAJOR TURNING POINT He finds baby abandoned, takes it. French police come and father attacks him.
ACT 4 25 pages- TEST THE CHANGE IN THIS CHARACTER: PROVE NEW WAYS
Climax/Ultimate Expression of the conflict. Kicked out of hospital.
Resolution- new family/ baby mother.
He finds an ordinary, chubby like him, and the father has skipped town He saw her at his clinic a few years ago, so it could be his baby. He marries the mother.
Last scene and later, he is artist, a babe magnet with women he couldn’t get before. He is painting in Paris, speaking French. Interested women interrupt him constantly. His wife and cute little daughter greet him. A group of his former gamer employees watch at a distance, shake their heads in disbelief. He sees them, raises his paint brush, dots the air, for emphasis, indicating THE END. .
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WIM Vic Valleau Module 2/4 WHATS BENEATH THE SURFACE
VISION OF SUCCESS: As a writer, I am an alchemist, turning the ordinary into gold.
WHAT I LEARNED Thank you Hal for subtext and applications list. I re-wrote this response 3 times, with long breaks in between. Each time I would experiment with different subtext plots. Each time story and characters got more reality and emotional, deeper conflicts.
7 Subtexts
1. Scheme and investigation 2. Layering 3. Someone hides who they are 4.The fish out of water 5. Superior position 6. A major coverup 7. Competitive agendas
I USE MOSTLY #7. COMPETITIVE AGENDAS, and #1 Scheme and investigation WITH SPRINKLE OF 3 and 5.
CONCEPT: Lonely Sperm donor, NOW STERILE, searches for love, wants to be a father and husband.
ON SURFACE: Testing sterile, Bob suspects Attorney Sabrina used his final deposit and is now very pregnant. He needs proof and love A mutual friend sets them up to date. She’s mystified why he flatters her with attention but wants her to discover it herself. (#3 Someone who hides who they are and #5 Superior position and unawareness and #7 competing agendas) When will Bob’s deception be uncovered and how will characters react.
At near end of story and nearing birth, she’s, angry, she discovers he’s father. She, throws him out of hospital but he saves her and baby with emergency blood donations.
UNDER SURFACE: Anti-male leanings In private make her an unsuitable spouse. She withholds this and uses it to sabotage him.
SUBPLOT: She keeps a revolver on her desk, threatens too aggressive men for entertainment.
UNDER SURFACE HOW SUBLPOT PLAYS OUT INSIDE STORY:
SUBPLOTS: Very pregnant and birthing, she gets mothers deeper emotions crying cuddling baby. She cries with joy when she sees him holding and cuddling baby.
SUBPLOT: He is begging to be father and husband duties, and also cuddle baby.
SUBPLOT: Other mothers warm to him with 3 or 4 telling and revealing events. She sees value and marries him., with daughter flower gir
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WIM Module 2-Lesson 3 Vic Valleau
TRANSFORMATIONAL JOURNEY
PROTAGONIST
CHARACTER ARC
BEGINNING: He is weak, actually begs/prays to get away,
yet brags in bars and keeps fathering kids, avoids any
responsibility for his 40 kids A surrogate father?
ENDING: Fights for custody, stupidly. Admits to his mistakes,
develops inner strength from facing up to his mistakes, builds
support network, becomes Uncle Bob for 40 children..
INTERNAL JOURNEY: Desperate for love, Bob goes from
hates his life to loves his life.
EXTERNAL JOURNEY Bob becomes social, gregarious,
extroverted.
OLD WAYS lazy opportunist, cowardly, victim
NEW WAYS motivated, courageous, inspirational.
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WIM Vic Valleau Module 2 Intentional Lead Characters
Vision: As a writer, I am an alchemist, turning ordinary into gold.
What I learned about my writing propensities: I* push for detail rather than big picture.
Exhibit A is I re-wrote this assignment 4 times, deleting details, adding big picture.
3. Tell us what makes each of these characters unique. These two steps will look like this:
Character: Protagonist BobLogline: Desperately seeking1950’s fantasy of love and marriage, white picket fence.Unique: Sperm donor, hates donor complications yet fathers 40 children.
3. Tell us what makes each of these characters unique. These two steps will look like this:
Character: Antagonist (Seymour) Logline: Stubbornly out of touch with everything, Preacher is exploring his own morality. Unique: Envies Bob, wants lessons yet threatened by him.
<font color=”#343434″ face=”Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif”>3. Tell us what makes each of these characters unique. These two steps will look like this:</font>
<font color=”#343434″ face=”Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif”>Character: Preacher’s Wife, bored, breaking out, wants excitement. </font><font color=”#343434″ face=”Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif”>Logline: Hides her wild side</font><font color=”#343434″ face=”Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif”>Unique: She has Bob’s baby and he knows but unknown to her or husband, until too late. </font>
<font color=”#343434″ face=”Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif”>CHARACTER STRUCTURE: She is either a triangle character or antagonist, whichever works. </font>
<font color=”#343434″ face=”Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif”>Antagonist would push Bob more. </font>
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Vic Valleau “Love Wrecked” Concept and Character Structure
VISION FOR SUCCESS: As a writer, I am an alchemist, turning the ordinary into gold.
Learned is: In past, I put off hard script decisions such as character structure. It’s more fun to just write and
speak thru following and expressing characters, letting the story unfold. That gets me into trouble with
endless re-writes. Takes belief, resolve and commitment to keep focus on big story questions. Before now,
I re-write to build in concept and character journey. Early on, but not nearly enough, I build Story structure.
TITLE: “Love Wrecked”
CONCEPT: 2 lifelong frenemies conflict. Harry “Knuckles” animal
magnetism unwittingly attracts his preacher buddy’s wife, Marion
the librarian.
3. Tell us the Character Structure you’ve chosen.
Buddy Movie or a
Romantic Triangle
Depends on how key/important wife is to plot
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HI everyone!
I’m Vic Valleau.
Completed scripts, 4 or 5, many incompleted.
ScreenwritingU classes? Several. Most recently 30 day Screenplay class ending Feb 2022.
4. Plan to complete a marketable script.
5. Unique about me. I’m a practicing lawyer, SAG actor since 1995 in Truman Show, and first screenwriting teacher and friend was Syd Field.
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I learned the intricacies in application of the concept of empowerment. More specifically, I learned being stuck is wanting to take action, but no action happens v. fantasy of having a desire but not trying to take action.
Thx Hal!
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I Vic Valleau agree and sign the confidentiality agreement as requested and required.
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Vic Valleau #28 Solves Scene Problems Chronological Edit
What I learned doing this assignment: My story and lead characters journey is set.
I have about 20% of scenes written, in rough. I see myself falling back into old perfectionist wordsmithing habits, then rising above with these quick edits.
I identified a few problems and made prescribed improvements, more to go. I feel really pushed because I’m pitching to investors.
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VIC VALLEAU lESSON 26 SOLVING CHARACTER PROBLEMS
WHAT I LEARNED DOING THIS ASSIGNMENT: iT PAYS TO LOOK DEEPER THEN DEEPER OVER AND OVER AGAIN. hOWEVER hAL’S PROMPTS ARE GOOD STARTING POINT TO LOOK FROM.
A. WEAK PRO OR ANTAG. SHE COULD SHOW MORE STRENGTH MOSTLY BY ATTACKING HIS WEAKNESSES OF WOMANIZING, GAMBLING, BEING THOUGHTLESS, INSENSITIVE.
B. PROTAG TOO GOOD? SHE KNOWS MEN, SLEEPS AROUND,
ANTAG TOO BAD- HE’S IS LOVED BY MANY FOR HIS CASUAL ATTITUDE ABOUT WOMEN.
C. SCENE SITUATION WHERE NANCY STANDS OUT. SEE F. BELOW.
D. TALKING HEADS NOT IN ACTION
AREA MOST LIKELY TO BREAK THIS RULE IS TWO LEAD WOMEN TALKING. SOLUTION IS TO CREATE SOME OUTSIDE INTEREST IN SCENE SUCH AS BUSY STREET, SQUABBLING, ETC
E. NANCY FACES HER LIFE’S MARRIAGES FAILURE. NOW ITS TOO LATE FOR CHILDREN. i NEED TO PHYSICALIZE HER INTERNAL FAILURE FEELINGS MORE.
F. Dialogue reveals chardacter
She says
: Put a leash on that man, means she’s disrespects him. Also she is accustomed to dominating men.
Courageous to tell high class Elie her date is gross.
Elie: Says stay away: means she is high class and ok bossing people LIKE NANCY around.
ELIE
Just dont seduce another attractive man.
Page 5 Elie implies Nancy is morally lose, out of control, not her class.
POROTAGONIST SAYS: PAGE 5
YOU DON’T know what you want in a man? Or is just getting pregnant enough for you?
MEANS HE’S TALKING TO INFERIOR INTELLIGENCE. JUDGES HER HARSHLY. SHE’S A SCATTERBRAIN WITH GUTTER MOTIVES, VERY INSULTING.
Lucky says: page 3
LUCKY
What bet? WE didn’t have sex.
He takes moral high ground, ruling out almost all sexual activities, hopes his angry denial will stop her. He’s testing, thinks she’s weak, or simple or naieve. In the past with other women, this may have worked. This implies he’s has a dark past.
Her response:
LUCKY
What bet? WE didn’t have sex.
NANCY
Does that ever work? Do you have a pile of dumb women scattered in your dark past?
She doesnt buy his denial, nitpicking definition of sex. He overlooks her insult of “Dumb women”. His comeback is self aggrandizing and he’s proud of being unmarried.
LUCKY
Just lucky I guess, not married.
G. LEAD CHARACTERS NOT PRESENT. ALL SCENES HAVE LEAD CHARDACTERS EXCEPT:
WAIT UNTIL SCENES ARE WRITTEN TO EVALUATE.
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VIC VALLEAU LESSON #25 DRAFT 2 SOLVING STRUCTURE PROBLEMS
What I learned doing this assignment is: structure is great way to see big picture.
INT. COFFEE SHOP
Nancy and Elie argue.
Nancy: He thinks I’m trying to trap him into child support.
Elie: No worries there, the laws favor mothers. As a husband you don’t stand a chance of landing him, too many easy girlfriends.
INT. LUCKY’S HOUSE – DAY
She barges into his house confronts him, while he’s getting ready for a date, just gets out of shower.
SHE CONFRONTS HIM WITH COURT ORDER IN ANOTHER PATERNITY CASE.
LUCKY
Some visionarY medium you are. Cant you tell I have lots of women?
NANCY
How many of them are pregnant?
LUCKY
Not mine, not mine, not mine!
NANCY
You remember restaurant ladies room?
LUCKY
I didn‘t even get my pants off, and neither did you.
NANCY
So you remember? That was the time. I was careful to be sure, peeded on a stick, no other men.
LUCKY
Be honest, do you really know what you want in a man besides??? getting pregnant?
NANCY
Why, are you offering?
LUCKY
Lock the door when you leave.
EXT. COUNTRY CLUB STEPS – DAY
Im here to cry on your shoulder. I tried, I faileld. Im weak, wolrthless, no reason to go on living!
ELIE
Don’t say that! I’s late for my meeting. We talk later.
NANCY
I think he’s spying on me, looking for a boyfriend to claim he’s not the father.
ELIE
The tests will prove it. He’s a smart man.
NANCY
I’m doomed, almost 40, single mother, no man. What should I do?
ELIE
Or maybe he’s trying to keep you sane, not suicidal. Or from seducing another attractive man. That’s your habit, isnt it?
ELTON COMES TO HER RESCUE COMMENTS ON HIS SHOES, SAME AS LUCKY ????AND THEY HAVE SEX.
NANCY LOOKS UNDER WOMENS STALLS FOR MANS SHOES SEES BROGUES, BARGES IN, SEES ELIE AND LUCKY HAVING SEX.
Wrong person.
She talks to old girlfriends is he faithful?
Lucky’s party at bar with friends, men admiring his carefree approach to women.
NEVER WANTED CHLDREN SO HE’S PERFECT ONE NIGHT STAND.
HALF WAY THRU ACT 1, MANY MORE MISSING SCENES TO COME. IN AN EFFORT TO KEEP UP, ILL MOVE TO #25.
SHE HOPELESSLY ATTRACTED TO BAD BOY HIM
SHE TELLS ELIE DOCTORS TOLD HER SHE CANNOT CONCIEVE BUT SHE DOES. aCCIDENT KNOCKED OUT HER OVARIES AND BROKEN BACK, USES CANE FOR BAD LEG.
CRIPPLED FROM ACCIDENT, USES CANE.
SHE WANTS LATE IN LIFE BABY AND HUSBAND.
HOPELESSLY ATTRACTED TO HIM. BEGS WHICH HE HATES.
INCITING INCIDENT: CLOSES HER EXITS.
HE DISOWNS AFFAIR/ RESPONSIBILITY, PUSHES FOR ABORTION HE’LL PAY FOR. SHE WANTS LATE IN LIFE BABY AND HUSBAND.
END OF ACT 1 TURNING POINT A TWIST THAT LOCKS UP INTO JOURNEY WITH NO GOING BACK. WHY HIM, AND NOT ELTON?
NEED A NEW SCENE EXPLAINING WHY SHE GOES TO ELTON. WHO DOES SHE TELL? LUCKY! SAYS YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE, BUT TO HUSBAND HUNT AMOUNG YOUR FRIENDS.
ELTON WANTS SEX WWITH HER, DOES IT. ANY MAN WILL DO. ELTON DOES IT TO IMPRESS LUCKY AND TO WIN THE BET NOT TO BE HER HUSBAND,
HES A POTENTOIAL HUSBAND
UNTIL HE BRAGS TO LUCKY WHO SAYS NOT GOOD, YOU NEED SEX WITH TWO WOMEN, ELIE IS IMPOSSIB LE, FRIGID AS MY DAED WOULD SAY.
ACT 2 WHAT NEW PLAN DOES NANCY CREATE TO DEAL WITH ACT 1 TURNING POINT OF NO HUSBAND BUT JUST SEX.
MIDPOINT TURNING POINT CHANGES MEANING BY REVEALING SOMETHING. WHAT IS REVEALED? THAT LUCKY IS IN PATERNITY SUIT ALREADY AND JAIL IS NEXT IF HE DOESNT FESS UP.
THAT BABY ISN’T LUCKYS, IT WAS A TRICK TO GET HIM.
ACT 3 REACT/RETHINK SUCKY’S PATERNITY DUTIES. DOES SHE REALLY WANT HIM SINCE HS IS NOOT FATHER B;UT SHES IN LOVE WITH HIM.
NEW PLAN TO DEAL WITH LUCKY’S NOT FATHER IS: CORREC GAMBLING AND WOMANIZING TO MAKIE HIM PERFECT HUSBAND, THEN JUST CONVINCE HIM.
ACT 4 DILEMMA- NANCY MUST BE CHOSING AND LOSING BETWEEN TWO ALTERNATIVES. SHE CONFESSES HE’S NOT FATHER ;BUT LOSES CHILD SUPPORT V.
FIGHT TO THE DEATH
RESOLUTION – CURES HIS WOMANIZING AND GAMBLING WAYS, SO HE BECOMES BEST HUSBAND, LOVES HER FOR CARING DEEPLY, MARRIAGE AND 3 YEARS AFTER WE SEE HER WITH BABY BOY.
The end
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VIC VALLEAU LESSON #24 FILLED IN MISSING SCENES
What I learned doing this assignment: Every effort improves story even though I can’t see it clearly.
THE BET, BY VICTOR VALLEAU : FADE IN
INT. ELEGANT RESTAURANT – WOMENS REST ROOM – NIGHT
ELIE
I see you smiling at my date!
NANCY
Hey stop it, why dont you put a leash on that guy or else I will.
ELIE
Stay away!
INT. RESTAURANT – MEN AND DATES TABLE
The men make a bet.Tesla V. Diamond Rolex on who has sex with both women first.
INT. RESTAURANT –
Nancy lures Lucky to follow her into restroom.
LUCKY
(to Elton)
Looks like I win this round!
He follows her into restroom.
EXT. LADIES RESTROOM – CONTINUOUS
Three women run out.
EXT. RACE TRACK – NEXT DAY
LUCKY
Are you sure you want to lose this fine automobile?
ELTON
Id look better driving it with a diamond Rolex.
EXT. GROCEREY STORE – CLOSING. 2 MONTHS LATER
Nancy looks at diapers, is shopping for dinner food for Lucky.
INT. NANCY’S APT.
Lucky is stuffed, pushes away from table. Nancy seems to be unablel to talk about his impending fatherhood.
NANCY
Some peach cobbler?
LUCKY
So, what is it?
NANCY
Some peach cobbler?
She scouts for his lip prints on glasses, etc anything for DNA. She retrieves a kleenix he used. He catches on, upset.
NANCY
We have a situation. Elton doubts we had sex.
LUCKY
(indicates peach cobbler)
Wrap it up. I gotta go!
NANCY
Elton doubts we had sex. Did you hear me? You lose your bet.
LUCKY
What bet?
If Lucky takes DNA test, he wins half bet but also child support.
Rolex I don’t want to lose this.
She swipes, there’child support.
INT. COFFEE SHOP
Nancy and Elie aargue.
Nancy: He thinks I’m trying to trap him into child support.
Elie: No worries there, the laws favor mothers. As a husband you don’t stand a chance of landing him, too many easy girlfriends.
INT. LUCHY’S HOUSE – DAY
She barges into his house confronts him, while he’s getting ready for a date, just gets out of shower. she seerves a court order.
LUCKY
Some visionare medium you are. Cant you tell I have lots of women?
NANCY
How many of them are pregnant?
LUCKY
Not mine, not mine, not mine!
NANCY
You remember restaurant laldies room?
LUCKY
I didn‘t even get my pants off, and neither did you.
NANCY
So you remember? That was the time. I was careful to be sure, peeded on a stick, no other men.
LUCKY
Be honest, do you really know what you want in a man? bESIDES GETTING PREGNANT?
NANCY
Why, are you offering?
LUCKY
Lock the door when you leave.
EXT. COUNTRY CLUB STEPS – DAY
Im here to cry on your shoulder. I tried, I faileld. Im weak, wolrthless, no reason to go on living!
ELIE
Don’t say that! I’s late for my meeting. We talk later.
NANCY
I think he’s spying on me, looking for a boyfriend to claim he’s not the father.
ELIE
The tests will prove it. He’s a smart man.
NANCY
I’m doomed, almost 40, single mother, no man. What should I do?
ELIE
Or maybe he’s trying to keep you sane, not suicidal. Or from seducing another attractive man. That’s your habit, isnt it?
ELTON COMES TO HER RESCUE COMMENTS ON HIS SHOES, SAME AS LUCKY ????AND THEY HAVE SEX.
//
//
‘’;;
(ELIE, NANCY)
FIND #9
NANCY LOOKS UNDER WOMENS STALLS FOR MANS SHOES SEES BROGUES, BARGES IN, SEES ELIE AND LUCKY HAVING SEX.
Wrong person.
She talks to old girlfriends is he faithful?
Lucky’s party at bar with friends, men admiring his carefree approach to women.
HALF WAY THRU ACT 1, MANY MORE MISSING SCENES TO COME. IN AN EFFORT TO KEEP UP, ILL MOVE TO #25.
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Vic Valleau Lesson 21 BEGIN TO 23 FINISH ACT 4
What I learned: I love writing, especially being productive, following the key turning points.
Key scene 1 REACTION TO 3<sup>RD</sup> ACT TURNING POINT. What is her reaction? Takes easy way out!
INT. MR. PLAYER PARTY HOTEL SUITE
PLAYER: I SENT LAWYER WITH ANNULMENT PAPERS TO YOUR CELL. BIG MISTAKE, YOU LOVE HIM! ANNULMENT WAS EASY WAY OUT.
NANCY: IS THAT WHY YOU BAILED US OUT, TO GLOAT HOW SMART YOU ARE?
PLAYER: LIKE ALL MEN, I ENJOY BEING RIGHT.
JT: Is this our benefactor? Thanks for nothing. I Iove this woman. Now were divorced!! I need that money to gamble again!
PLAYER: She needs you to promise, no gambling. PROMISE MAKES YOU BETTER HUSBAND MATERIAL, SO YOU CAN RE-MARRY.
ALL FOUR AT CELEBRATION PARTY IN THEIR HONOR BY BIG WINNER ALSO A LAWYER, KPUTS ON FOR NEWLEYWEDS ELTON AND ELIE! THE E’S!
INT. TESLA HIGHWAY 395 BACK FROM VEGAS
Elton and Elie are kissing in the back seat on trip back from Vegas.
JT: MY MARRIAGE PROPOSAL?
NANCY: I’LL THINK ABOUT IT.
JT: TO YOU MEN AND THEIR PROMISES ARE UNTRUSTWORTHY?
NANCY; WOMEN TEST MEN’S CHARACTER CONSTANTLY. DO THEY KEEP THEIR PROMISES. DOYOU?
Vic Valleau ACT 4
ACT 4 KEY SCENE 2
PROTAGONIST FACES THEiR DILEMMA
Choice to trust is shown by her inviting him to home cooked dinner.
JT to Nancy Am I more attractive now with a promise of getting my money back?
Will you marry me again?
NANCY: Ill think about it.
ACT 4 LESSON 21
What are you thinking about?
Men, are they worth it?
JT: For a woman, you mean?
NANCY: Im a three time loser in love, I know, still young and beautiful, man bait, a hot chick, hot stuff. I could go on but do I have the right stuff to keep a man forever, like you?
JT: You could keep me, I like you, every way, even your bad mon and you got a lotta bad mon! Lets get married again!
NANCY: Men are better married and women are better single. Who said that?
JT: What does better mean?
NANCY: You get married and Ill stay bored and single, how about that? Maybe we could create another form of marriage, where we both would be happy. What’s important to me? An open marriage, honesty, Cuddling, if the truth be told, ask any woman. We can share a bed. Do you like to cuddle? Most men can’t accept an open marriage. Can you?
JT: sounds good to me. What about a menage a tois? Two women?
NANCY: Baby steps, right baby steps, not babies but maybe.
JT: Women are the boss in the home, I respect a woman who know that. No feet on the furniture, no farting, pick up after yourself.
NANCY: Keep talking! You can be the boss in the bedroom. Ill give you an audition with home cooked dinner at my house. Bring flowers and show up on time!
JY: Yes maam!
NANCY: I like to boss my men around a little, at first. That way other women don’t criticize me. They’ll see I’m a strong, assertive independent woman. Just Know I’m playing. That’s between you and me.
SCENE 3 Climax
INT. NANCY’S APARTMENT – X-GIRLFRIENDS DINNER- NIGHT
The test is Nancy put his needs above her own in men’s vows) is a clear indication that Nancy has changed.
Begin JT dinner with top 10 girlfriends with history. He makes public confession he will not philander and remain true to Nancy.
Middle: Remember earlier he promised to not gamble to please Nancy.
JT: You may wonder why my girlfriend cooked dinner and invited you.
End:
She deciphered my code for ranking girlfriends straight out of my little black book. You are the top ten. He left public message on your phones as a reminder he will no longer be seeing you.
Also she is saying a few words on her own behalf, keeping with strong independent woman she is.
NANCY: You all very lucky women. First, You are all very lucky ladies having this man of mine. He’s a rare find for me, not only powerful but sensitive. Is he the new man we pray for?
Ex #1 I’m praying, I,m praying!
NANCY: I NEED YOUR HELP. HE HAS A FEW ADDICTIONS, WE WILL CURE.
First, his sex addiction and gambling addictions have ruined his chances with me, until now. up men’s vows) is a clear indication that Nancy has changed.
JT dinner with top 10 girlfriends with history. He makes public confession he will not philander and remain true to Nancy.
Remember earlier he promised to not gamble to please Nancy. Sisterhood here at this table with your help. Find yourselves another sex partner, as good as he is!
Ex #2 Impossible.
NANCY: Possible. I have references to help you out if you need their names. Also don’t overlook this. If you don’t have time for a man or need to get up early for work, you can enjoy nightly sex with self-love.
You just need to feel free to trust your man. Encourage his business success, friends, even wanting to get his mother’s approval of your marriage.
Her rehearsing vows written by JT and he writes her vows. that she is equal in every way.
INT. TESLA – DAY
Nancy emerges from back seat surprising JT who IS DRIVING AWAY to escape wedding.
INT. SALSA DANCE STU;DIO – DAY
WE SEE JT AND NANCY DANCING.
NANCY: I LOVE THE WAY YOUR CLEAR, FIRM LEAD. YOU ANTICIPATE MY NEXT MOVE AND TELEGRAPH IT SO I DON’T GET HURT. CAN WE DO THIS MORE?
JT: I need dancing at our wedding. I stop thinking of marriage as a prison.
NANCY: You have total freedom to be yourself. I’m committed to make this marriage work!
JT: Marriages are rare and babies are even rarer today.
NANCY: Too bad men are scared. You bring so much to marriage.
INT. CHURCH – BRIDES READY ROOM – DAY
KIDNAP BRIDE NANCY
NANCY AND TWO BRIDESMADES AND ELIE AS MAID OF HONOR FUSS WITH HER DRESS, HAIR. SUDDENLY THREE HOODED MEN BURST IN AND KIDNAP NANCY. THEY put a HOOD on NANCY,
EXT. CHURCH – DAY CONTINUOUS
SURPRISE: ELIE HELPS kidnappers WITH TAKING HER INTO VAN.
EXT. VAN- CAR CHASE – CONTINUOUS.
JT IS CHASING IN A CAR, FOLLOWING VAN. ON SCOOTERS, GROOMSMEN CHASE WATCH HER GOWN FLUTTER IN WINDOW, CHASE TO NANCY’S RESCUE.
INT. VAN .
NANCY: Elie, why?.
ELIE: Kidnapper is your handsome, wealthy X. He wants you back, marriage on your terms, you fool, so take it.
NANCY: He’s too possessive. No, its not about money. Its about love, freedom, trust. He gives me that!
WE WATCH CHASE WHILE ELIE TALKS.
ELIE (V.O.) : I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WEREN’T SURE ABOUT jt and about THIS MARRIAGE THING, ESPECIALLY TO JT. GAMBLING ADDICTION, WOMANIZER, AFRAID OF COMMITMENT. Blows hot and cold, on then off, its maddening.
BACKJ TO SCENE
ELIE REMOVES HOOD.
NANCY: Who isn’t afraid of commitment. Its healthy to be concerned. Promising a lifetime of good cheer, good companionship, good sex, good housekeeping and good healthy body is a big promise to keep. This time, I intend to keep it!
INT. CHURCH – BRIDES READY ROOM
ELIE: IS HE WORTH IT.
HE PROMISES AND I BELIEVE HIM. THAT’S THE NEW ME, WANT A MAN, NEED A MAN AND APPRECIATE THE RIGHT MAN, EVEN ADMIRE AND ADORE SOMETIMES, A TRUE PARTNERSHIP.
NANCY: I’M THE PROBLEM! I NEVER WANTED TO BE ORDINARY, CONVENTIONAL OR EVEN NICE. I WANTED TO STAND OUT, BE A STAR. Now, I see its costing me my happiness!
ELIE: Great men want to be the star, right, not house husbands?
NANCY: WE WANT A MARRIAGE OF PARTNERS, NOT MAN IS BOSS AND WOMAN IS SERVANT. We can take turns being boss or star.
INT. CHURCH – ALTER
COUPLE SAY THEIR I DO’S, RUN OUT.
EXT. CHURCH STEPS – CONTINUOUS
THEY RUN INTO A STORM OF THROWING RICE.
Mr. player, the WEALTHY WINNER AT CRAPS TABLE enjoys event.
SCENE 4 WRAP IT UP AND SHOW US NEW STAUS QUO..
INT. RECEPTION – NIGHT
HE’S SALSA DANCING WITH ANOTHER WOMAN. SHE HIDES HER JEALOUSY. HE WALKS AWAY. SHE GOES AFTER HIM, APOLOGIZES. HE SAYSDANCING IS OK FOR MARRIED. SHE CAN DANCE WITH ANYONE WHICH HE ENCOURAGES, AS CAN HE.
VIC VALLEAU ACT 4 SCENE 4 LAST SCENE RESOLUTION. Showing what their life is like after the change.
What I learned doing this assignment: this last scene is very short, sweet and wraps it up. Now, I’m on an exciting and fun journey to finish entire script. I plan to query producers with this completed outline, although I see structural issues to resolve, etc. Thanks Hal!
INT. FORTUNE TELLERS’ STUDIO – 3 YEARS LATER
Nancy is READING A MAN’S FORTUNE.
We see his MASON’S RINGS AND NECK JEWELRY, THAT IDENTIFIES HIM. WE saw his jewelry in Las Vegas. Earlier, he was LUCKY CRAPS PLAYER WHO WON $400K.
We see her wedding ring FROM JT. 2-YEAR-OLD BABY BOY SITS IN HER LAP.
NANCY READS FORTUNE
NANCY: I SEE MANY GENEROUS BLESSINGS FOR YOU. Your past generosity serves you well. I SEE AN EXTREMELY GENEROUS MAN LOVED BY MANY FRIENDS. You are loved by me and my husband JT. We owe our family to you, Mr. Player. You will make many lives happy due to your generosity.
Phone rings: Nancy, hi Elie, sure club dinner tonight. JT wants to celebrate his LEGAL wins. Bye.
Mr. Player: So is he still gambling?
Nancy: Thanks to you he quit! That was his last step to becoming husband material.
Mr. Player: Here’s $100,000. Its what I owe you from Las Vegas. I doubled down on your husband’s losing bet. Tell him it’s from your mother so he can respect her more.
NANCY: I guess he is lucky, after all!
Mr. Player: And you got him!
They both laugh.
THE END.
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Subject line: Vic Valleau Act 4 KEY SCENE 3 Climax
What I learned. Climax means higher, higher, higher. THIS STRAINS MY BELIEVABILITY. I shy away from as unbelievable. NEW ME: I learn. I’ll take on new way since audiences, INCLUDING ME, love a well earned climax. This is a romantic comedy. Both lead characters are antagonist and protagonist since it takes two to Tango.
There are four parts to the Climax.
The test is will Nancy put JT’s needs above her own.
His needs include his professional reputation and business succeeding, keeping his friends Elton, wanting to get his mom’s ok with this hippie chick marriage. Nancy visits mom, who falls in love with her. Nancy brings her own mother to meeting.
Promising to take care of her son as she had done for her lifetime.
Her rehearsing vows written by JT that he is lord and master of all he surveys (look up men’s vows) is a clear indication that Nancy has changed.
JT dinner with top 10 girlfriends with history. He makes public confession he will not philander and remain true to Nancy.
Remember earlier he promised to not gamble to please Nancy.
JT WANTS TO BACK OUT AND ACTUALLY LEAVES BEFORE THE WEDDING. NANCY CHASES HIM DOWN
TO TELL HIM HE IS A COWARD, CANT FACE HIS OWN EMOTIONS, JUST LIKE ALL MEN. HE REPENTS, DOES WEDDING WITH SALSA DANCING.
WHAT IS HER NEW WAY TO SUCCEED? SHE IS COMMITTED TO MAKE MARRIAGE WORK, IN WHATEVER FORM IT TAKES!
INT. CHURCH – BRIDES READY ROOM – DAY
KIDNAP BRIDE NANCY
NANCY AND TWO BRIDESMADES AND ELIE AS MAID OF HONOR FUSS WITH HER DRESS, HAIR. SUDDENLY THREE HOODED MEN BURST IN AND KIDNAP NANCY, HELPED BY ELIE. THEY put a HOOD on NANCY, THEN ELIE HELPS WITH TAKING HER INTO VAN WHILE MEN STAND DOWN AGAINST groomsmen’s following them.
CHASING IN A CAR, FOLLOWING VAN. GROOMSMEN CHASE WATCH HER GOWN FLUTTER IN WINDOW, CHASE TO NANCY’S RESCUE. JT CONFESSES HE SHOULDN’T BE SO HARD ON HER UNUSUAL IDEAS ON MARRIAGE. Ie promises to lighten up.
JT CHASES WHILE NANCY SPILLS HER GUTS ON WANTING JT. ELIE IS WITH HER, LISTENS.
NANCY: Elie, why are you here. I can tell By your voice.
ELIE: Kidnapper is your handsome, wealthy X. He wants you back, marriage on your terms, you fool, so take it.
NANCY: He’s too possessive. No, its not about money. Its about love, freedom, trust. He gives me that! Like my dream of being nude in a crowd. I know JT likes it when other men look at me!
Turtle, snapping
ELIE: I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WEREN’T SURE ABOUT jt and about THIS MARRIAGE THING, ESPECIALLY TO JT. GAMBLING ADDICTION, WOMANIZER, AFRAID OF COMMITMENT. Blows hot and cold, on then off, its maddening.
NANCY: Who isn’t afraid of commitment. Its healthy to be concerned. Promising a lifetime of good cheer, good companionship, good sex, good housekeeping and good healthy body is a big promise to keep. This time, I intend to keep it!
ELIE: IS HE WORTH IT.
HE PROMISES AND I BELIEVE HIM. THAT’S THE NEW ME, WANT A MAN, NEED A MAN AND APPRECIATE THE RIGHT MAN, EVEN ADMIRE AND ADORE SOMETIMES, A TRUE PARTNERSHIP.
ELIE TAKES HER HOOD OFF, TELLS DRIVER TO TURN AROUND, BACK TO CHURCH.
INT. CHURCH – ALTER
COUPLE SAY THEIR I DO’S, RUN OUT INTO A STORM OF THROWING RICE, WEALTHY WINNER AT CRAPS TABLE NOW HANDS JT $10K CASH, SAYS ITS FOR YOUR HONEYMOON TO THIS INSPIRING WOMAN!
SCENE 4 WRAP IT UP AND SHOW US NEW STAUS QUO..
INT. RECEPTION – NIGHT
HE’S DANCING WITH ANOTHER WOMAN. SHE HAS JEALOUS FIT. HE WALKS AWAY. SHE APOLOGIZES. HE SAYS HE’S MARRIED BUT SHE CAN DANCE WITH ANYONE WHICH HE ENCOURAGES.
SHE APOLOGIZES SAYING: I’m part of a social community. You can join now that we’re married.
JT: Ok, lets join a newly married group
IT’S A NEW FORM OF MARRIAGE, NOT THE JEALOUS TYPE, THE SHARING WITH FRIENDS, OPEN COMMUNITY TYPE. HE MARRIED INTO HER COMMUNTY. IT TAKES A COMMUNITY TO MAKE A MARRIAGE.
CLOTHES FOR HONEYMOON.
NOT NECESSARY SINCE ITS AT A NUDE OPTIONAL RANCH IN HAWAII. SWIMMING NUDE, EATING NUDE.
SHE DOES CARD READING AT TABLE WITH HANDSOME MAN CUSTOMER, WHILE SHE CHASES HIM AWAY TO HARDEST ONE HE SAYS IS DANCING NUDE WITHOUT EMBARASSING HIMSELF, THEY BOTH LAUGH.
AFTER ALL, SHE’S A HIPPIE AND PART OF A NUDIST GROUP.
LAST SCENE WE SEE IS HIM OGLING A BEAUTIFUL NUDE WOMAN WITH NANCY STANDING NUDE NEXT TO HIM. HIS HEAD TURNS, SHE SMILES, PATS HIM APPROVINGLY, ENJOYS THE CHALLENGE, GIGGLES FLIRTING TO HIM.
THE END.
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Vic Valleau Lesson 21: Act 4 begins
What I learned: I love writing, especially being productive, following the key turning points.
Key scene 1 REACTION TO 3<sup>RD</sup> ACT TURNING POINT. What is her reaction? Takes easy way out!
ANNULMENT FOR HER IS EASY WAY OUT. SHE HAS JAILHOUSE LAWYER SO SIGNS PAPERS. SERVES HIM IN NEXT CELL.
BETTER SHE HAS BIG WINNER BAIL HER OUT, PAYS HIM BACK AND BAILS OUT JT WITH GAMBLING EARNINGS . USING STAKE OF NEVER TRUST A MAN, ALWAYS HAVE MONEY FOR RIDE HOME POCKET MONEY .
ALL FOUR AT CELEBLRATION PARTY IN THEIR HONOR BY BIG WINNER ALSO A LAWYER, KPUTS ON FOR NEWLEYWEDS ELTON AND ELIE! THE E’S!
BIG WINNER TELLS JT NANCY WANTS HIM TO PROMISE HE WILL QUIT GAMBLING.
GIVES JT $10,000 HE LOST IN LAST ROLL OF THE DICE.
JT: ASKS NANCY IF THE $$$$ MAKES HIM BETTER HUSBAND MATERIAL.
NANCY RESPONDS, I’LL THINK ABOUT IT AS THEY DRIVE INTO THE SUNSET BACK TO LA.
Nancy is in jail cell next to JT:
Rich benefactor gets her arrested as soliciting when she refused sex with him.
Nancy realizes MARRIAGE AND JT is not saving her, she’s on her own, so teams with winner of $50k.
She jumps ship which he points out.
She made a decision men are unreliableSO GO WITH THE HIGHEST BIDDER.
only to change her mind in the resolution.
Same as Good Will Hunting.
BEAT: Here dilemma and Choices: Lonelyness or trust a man.
BEGIN She Is in jail for soliciting with High roller, qwho lost it all again! .
Middle: He gets judge pro tem call from Chief Judge and out of jail, just clear up overload from weekends tourists. .
END: He releases her, but how, pleading her case, what does he demand? Agree to Annulment marriage before he can hear case!!!
She’s horrified!
Build dilemma, start with midpoint Marriage! where Were sorry Your Honor, please come this way to judge our overflow cases.
You mind if I clean up first?
He hears her case and lets her go but not before he demands she address him as your honor
ALTERNATE ENDING (s)
And show deference to the court. MeANING SHE LEARDNS TO TRUST A MAN AND TO SEE MEN ARE JUST AS FALABLE AS WOMEN WE SHARE OUR HUMANITY SO ALL IS FORGIVEN, OR OVERLOOKED.
Does she plead her case?
How have you seen the error of your ways?
I don’t know, have you?
Id love to answer that question later in private. Right now, IM the judge showing decorum and respecting justice.
Men are untrustworthy, but not all men, some are good men and some are bad just like everything else.
Vic Valleau ACT 4
ACT 4 KEY SCENE 2
PROTAGONIST FACES THEiR DILEMMA
Should SHE TRUST JT?
DOESN’T NEED A MAN, OR DOES SHE?
Three divorces and annulment. Should she trust men? Why does she decide to need a man,
If so does she hook up
How do we know her action is to need/trust a man?
Choice to trust is shown by her inviting him to home cooked dinner.
Big winner throws a party for them in Vegas
Big: Nancy wants you to quit gambling, you know right? Will you promise? If you promise her, Ill give you your $10k you lost back.
JT to Nancy Am I more attractive now that I have my money back?
Will you marry me again?
NANCY: Ill think about it.
Elton and Elie are kissing in the back seat on trip back from Vegas.
ACT 4 LESSON 21
What are you thinking about?
Men, are they worth it?
JT: For a woman, you mean?
NANCY: Im a three time loser in love, I know, still young and beautiful, man bait, a hot chick, hot stuff. I could go on but do I have the right stuff to keep a man.
JT: You could keep me, I like you, every way, even your bad mon and you got a lotta bad mon! Lets get married again!
NANCY: Men are better married and women are better single. Who said that?
JT: What does better mean?
NANCY: You get married and Ill stay bored and single, how about that? Maybe we could create another form of marriage, where we both would be happy. What’s important to me? Cuddling, if the truth be told, ask any woman. We can share a bed. Do you like to cuddle?
JT: sounds good to me.
NANCY: Baby steps, right baby steps, not babies but maybe.
JT: Women are the boss in the home, I respect a women who knows that. No feet on the furniture, no farting, pick up after yourself.
NANCY: Keep talking! Ill give you an audition with home cooked dinner at my house. Bring flowers and show up on time!
JY: Yes maam!
NANCY: I like to boss my men around a little, at first. That way I can pretend I’m a strong, assertive independent woman. Just Know I’m playing.
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Vic Valleau Lesson 21: ACT 4 BEGINS 2 KEY SCENES
What I learned: I get too impatient, lose momentum.
1. Key scene Reaction to 3<sup>rd</sup> act turning point of married in Las Vegas Wedding Chapel.
2. Key scene Pro faces dilemma to trust men or be lonely
JT rents a van with stolen credit card.
Runs out of gas. While they drive into homeless camp.
they pose as the police, terrorize a homeless camp, scare them away, steal their cardboard and dirty pillows.
Drive to gas station, trick slip another’s credit card into their pump, then return it.
EXT. VAN – NIGHT
VAN IS HOISTED UP BY WRECKER, TOWED WITH THEM SLEEPING IN IT. They roll to back, out door, in big bundle. In front of JT friends in circular drive of casino
His credit card was cancelled. Torn up, cut in half, taken away by bus boy in diner.
INT. ENTRANCE TO HIGH ROLLERS CRAPS TABLE – NIGHT
Guard asks everyone he doesn’t recognize to wait for computer scan which he flunks.
NANCY: Are you getting a divorce? I’M PSYCHIC.
JT: A divorce, right, I’m a lawyer.
GUARD: Don’t forget sir, minimum bet is $10,000.
NANCY: We don’t have $10,000.
He sushes her, flashes id. .
JT: Here’s my Lawyers card, worth more than a measely ten grand!
GUARD: How did you know? About my divorce?
We see him whispering to security guard: “Ill give you a free divorce if you let me in!
GUARD: How did you know?
JT: Yea, how do you know?
NANCY: I’M PSYCHIC
JT: Tan line around your wedding ring.
GUARD: Tan lines around my old wedding ring! I never noticed.
INT. HIGH ROLLERS CRAPS TABLE – CONTINUOUS.
CROUPIER: Le Fait du jour, gentlemen le fait du jour jour!
JT: What’s he saying: Fay do jar?
NANCY: No he says Le Fair de jour, make the day or place your bets now. Same as they say in Monte Carlo.
JY: How would you know?
NANCY: Rich husbands, rich cultured husbands, not hopeless gamblers like you!
JT: You’re a jink. Leave.
CROUPIER: Sir! Have the lady blow on your dice, good luck!
JT: (to Nancy) Well either you blow now or blow later in my hotel suite.
CROUPIER: No, You need it now, sir! Whole table is waiting!
Before she can blow on his dice, he shakes and rolls, loses.
SECURITY ESCORTS latches onto him. He holds dice.
CROUPIER: Please sir, give the dice back to the next gentleman who wants to win our grand prize $400k. Everyone gasps.
NANCY: That would buy a couple Teslas!
Security takes JT fighting, out.
NEXT GENTLEMAN: Please stay and blow on my … you know!
She stays, he wins, embraces her passionately. JT sulks out, cursing her under his breath.
Peeking thru the door, Elie and Elton see goings on. Protesting but failing, JT is whisked past them, held firmly by two guards..
Vic Valleau Lesson 21: Act 4 begins (Characteres dilemma is resolved)
Key scene 1 REACTION TO 3<sup>RD</sup> ACT TURNING POINT. What is her reaction? Takes easy way out!
ANNULMENT FOR HER IS EASY WAY OUT. SHE HAS JAILHOUSE LAWYER SO SIGNS PAPERS. SERVES HIM IN NEXT CELL.
BETTER SHE HAS BIG WINNER BAIL HER OUT, PAYS HIM BACK AND BAILS OUT JT WITH GAMBLING EARNINGS . USING STAKE OF NEVER TRUST A MAN, ALWAYS HAVE MONEY FOR RIDE HOME POCKET MONEY .
ALL FOUR AT CELEBLRATION PARTY IN THEIR HONOR BY BIG WINNER ALSO A LAWYER, KPUTS ON FOR NEWLEYWEDS ELTON AND ELIE! THE E’S!
BIG WINNER TELLS JT NANCY WANTS HIM TO PROMISE HE WILL QUIT GAMBLING.
GIVES JT $10,000 HE LOST IN LAST ROLL OF THE DICE.
JT: ASKS NANCY IF THE $$$$ MAKES HIM BETTER HUSBAND MATERIAL.
NANCY RESPONDS, I’LL THINK ABOUT IT AS THEY DRIVE INTO THE SUNSET BACK TO LA.
Nancy is in jail cell next to JT:
Rich benefactor gets her arrested as soliciting when she refused sex with him.
Nancy realizes MARRIAGE AND JT is not saving her, she’s on her own, so teams with winner of $50k.
She jumps ship which he points out.
She made a decision men are unreliableSO GO WITH THE HIGHEST BIDDER.
only to change her mind in the resolution.
Same as Good Will Hunting.
BEAT: Here dilemma and Choices: Lonelyness or trust a man.
BEGIN She Is in jail for soliciting with High roller, qwho lost it all again! .
Middle: He gets judge pro tem call from Chief Judge and out of jail, just clear up overload from weekends tourists. .
END: He releases her, but how, pleading her case, what does he demand? Agree to Annulment marriage before he can hear case!!!
She’s horrified!
Build dilemma, start with midpoint Marriage! where Were sorry Your Honor, please come this way to judge our overflow cases.
You mind if I clean up first?
He hears her case and lets her go but not before he demands she address him as your honor
ALTERNATE ENDING (s)
And show deference to the court. MeANING SHE LEARDNS TO TRUST A MAN AND TO SEE MEN ARE JUST AS FALABLE AS WOMEN WE SHARE OUR HUMANITY SO ALL IS FORGIVEN, OR OVERLOOKED.
Does she plead her case?
How have you seen the error of your ways?
I don’t know, have you?
Id love to answer that question later in private. Right now, IM the judge showing decorum and respecting justice.
Men are untrustworthy, but not all men, some are good men and some are bad just like everything else.
KEY SCENE 2 PROTAGONIST FACES TJHEOR DILEMMA
EdOES SHE TRUST JT OR SHOULD SHE?
DOESN’T NEED A ;MAN OR DOES SHE?
Three divorces and annulment. Should she trust men? Why does she decide to need a man,
If so does she hook up
How do we know her action is to need/trust a man?
Maybe when judge JT has his fate in her hands, she throws hers
elf on the mercy of the court?
Choice to trust is shown by her inviting him to home cooked dinner.
Big winner throws a party for them in Vegas
Big: Nancy wants you to quit gambling, you know right? Will you promise? If you promise her, Ill give you your $10k you lost back.
JT to Nancy Am I more attractive now that I have my money back?
Will you marry me again?
NANCY: Ill think about it.
Elton and Elie are kissing in the back seat on trip back from Vegas.
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Vic Valleau Lessons 18-20 act 3 middle Scene 2/3/4 turning point (hits bottom)
What I leaned: I lost lessons 18 and 19 rough drafts so shared hitting bottom experience with my 4 characters. Slug lines keep organization together. Also I clarified my layered writing drafts approach: Beat/Action (goal of each scene) to outline notes on begin, middle and end leading to skeleton dialogue, just enough to keep the action alive. Character building dialogue is almost unnecessary at this 20% stage.
EXT. LAS VEGAS BLVD – NIGHT
Luckless foursome are walking, Hitchhiking in the rain, having lost their New Tesla and Diamond Rolex. JT chatters.
JT: Resorts World charged $21 to park and has 40 restaurants. Aren’t you glad we aren’t driving. There’s the Bellagio, see they took out the revolving door. Kept people waiting to get in. Dinner is $81.25 with a two months reservation. No takers? Well, the new Virgin Hotel is almost ready. Hey guys smile we could go to the new doggie hotel for free treats.
NANCY: Doggie treats, no thanks for your dinner invitation, so romantic!
JT: You’re not perfect either! You jumped the gun, thought McCarren airport was Harry Reid Airport. Kept your friends waiting!
ALIE: What’s wrong with Las Vegas International? LVX?
JT: TOO CONFUSING WITH LAX. Besides X means something.
EXT. WEDDING CHCAPEL – NIGHT.
In front of a Wedding chapel, Elvis’ neon lighted face beckons.
JT; I came here for a vacation, not romance or… ..
NMANCY: Interrupts … well maybe romance but not marriage!
JT: Are you finishing my sentences?
NANCY: Am I? You’re so predictable!
ELTON: Funny, predictable, that’s exactly what he said about you.
INT. WEDDING CHAPEL- VESTIBULE- NIGHT
They go in to dry off.
TOO ANGRY TO TALK, THEY SHAKE LIKE DOGS.
JT: Sorry guys, big mistake that last roll of the dice. Sorry Elton! I was counting on the Watch and Tesla as our back up plan.
NANCY: You have a gambling addiction JT, not good. You’re terrible gambler, not very good at all!
ELTON Hot shot lawyer, you can’t pay your office bills, no wonder.
ELIE: No comment!
ELTON: So that’s what classy looks and sounds like!
MINISTER COMES OUT. HE LOOKS AND TALKS LIKE BOB MARLEY.
SO WHICH OF YOU FOLKS ARE itchin’ta get hooked up?
The men each point at each other, laugh.
Minister gives them free hotel room pass to dry off, recover, ready for trip back.
MINISTER BOB: Hey mon. Whats ya doin mon! We need senorita for margueritta!
U want married mon.
First, we marry mon! Then we talk!
CEREMONY
Too cold and drunk to care, everyone goes along, signs final documents.
MINISTER BOB: (WITHOUT ACCENT) WE love visitors! We have a gift for you from the Business Bureau.
Vic Valleau Lesson 20 Finish Act 3
INT. SPARSE HOTEL ROOM IN BASEMENT.
NANCY IS CRUSHED BY ELIE’S accusations she is sleeping with Elton
NANCY: I WOULD NEVER DOUBLE CROSS YOU.
ELIE: What I saw was enough evidence, his hands all over you.
NANCY: I PUSHED HIM AWAY.
INT. CASINO – CONTINUOUS
Jt SWIPES THEIR FREE PASS FOR HOTEL AND BUS BACK, GOES TO CASINO.
JT: tells the group to relax, he’s got it covered, a free trip home for everyone, on Spirit airlines, suitcases in your lap and no drinks allowed.
Problem is they can’t afford cash trip for bus to McCarrren. He can’t afford the shuttle bus fare to airport so gambles entire trip package to win back $100 for bus to airport.
NANCY: That’s stupid, gamble our trip back!
JT: hey its just $100, maybe you could turn a trick for a hundred bucks.
She slaps him, huffs away.
INT. CASINO – NIGHT
MEANWHILE THEY FOLLOW TO BEG HIM TO STOP.JT goes to casino, loses free trip back to LA pass from Chamber of Commerce for losers over $50,000.
ELIE: I HAVE WOMENS CLUB FRIENDS WE COULD IMPOSE ON, STAY OVER UNTIL WE FIGURE OUT A WAY HOME. We need to pretend were married. Sharee a bed. Promise, hands off?
ELTON: I PROMISE HANDS OFF!
ELIE: CAN I TRUST YOU AFTER WHATR YOU DID DTO MY FRIEND?
ELTON: Never touched the woman. Men say touch a woman, go to jail but I never did!
JT: Be quiet, I,m doing this for you! Help me concentrate on this bet. I lose, we camp out and walk home.
ELTON 9WHISPERS TO ELIE) were doomed! Lets go now before he goes crazy, gets us thrown in jail!.
Her friends. Duck and run.
JT: No we are going to stay and fight. That’s what makes me a top lawyer, fighting for whats right!
NANCY: Gambling is never right! Your aura is right, you’re damaged. I can help you, not destroy yourself. Walk away with us right now.
They try to sleep in hallways of hotel, security kicks them out, k
They try sleeping in parking lot, security throws them out.
They go to an all night diner, kicks them out.
Lesson 20
JT rents a van with stolen credit card.
Runs out of gas. While they drive into homeless camp.
they pose as the police, terrorize a homeless camp, scare them away, steal their cardboard and dirty pillows.
Drive to gas station, trick slip another’s credit card into their pump, then return it.
EXT. VAN – NIGHT
VAN IS HOISTED UP BY WRECKER, TOWED WITH THEM SLEEPING IN IT. They roll to back, out door, in big bundle. In front of JT friends in circular drive of casino
His credit card was cancelled. Torn up, cut in half, taken away by bus boy in diner.
INT. ENTRANCE TO HIGH ROLLERS CRAPS TABLE – NIGHT
Guard asks everyone he doesn’t recognize to wait for computer scan which he flunks.
NANCY: Are you getting a divorce? I’M PSYCHIC.
JT: A divorce, right, I’m a lawyer.
GUARD: Don’t forget sir, minimum bet is $10,000.
NANCY: We don’t have $10,000.
He sushes her, flashes id. .
JT: Here’s my Lawyers card, worth more than a measely ten grand!
GUARD: How did you know? About my divorce?
We see him whispering to security guard: “Ill give you a free divorce if you let me in!
GUARD: How did you know?
JT: Yea, how do you know?
NANCY: I’M PSYCHIC
JT: Tan line around your wedding ring.
GUARD: Tan lines around my old wedding ring! I never noticed.
INT. HIGH ROLLERS CRAPS TABLE – CONTINUOUS.
CROUPIER: Le Fait du jour, gentlemen le fait du jour jour!
JT: Whats he saying Fay do jar?
NANCY: No he says Le Fair de jour, make the day or place your bets now. Same as they say in Monte Carlo.
JY: How would you know?
NANCY: Rich husbands, rich cultured husbands, not hopeless gamblers like you!
JT: You’re a jink. Leave.
CROUPIER: Sir have the lady blow on your dice, good luck!
JT: (to Nancy) Well either you blow now or blow later in my hotel suite.
CROUPIER: No, You need it now, sir! Whole table is waiting!
Before she can blow on his dice, he shakes and rolls, loses.
SECURITY ESCORTS latches onto him. He holds dice.
CROUPIER: Please sir, give the dice back to the next gentleman who wants to win our grand prize $400k. Everyone gasps.
NANCY: That would buy a couple Teslas!
Security taked JT fighting, out.
NEXT GENTLEMAN: Please stay and blow on my … you know!
She stays, he wins, embraces her passionately. JT sulks out, cursing her under his breath.
Peeking thru the door, Elie and Elton see goings on. Protesting but failing, JT is whisked past them, held firmly by two guards..
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Vic Valleau 18 lesson act 3 middle scenes
Vic Valleau Lesson 19 Act 3 Scene 4 turning point
Vic Valleau Lesson 20 Finish Act 3
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Vic Valleau 18 lesson act 3 middle scenes
Vic Valleau Lesson 19 Act 3 Scene 4 turning point
Vic Valleau Lesson 20 Finish Act 3
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VIC VALLEAU LESSON 18: ACT 3 MIDDLE, SCENE 2 MAKES A NEW PLAN, BIGGER, MORE RISKY.
WHAT I LEARNED DOING THIS ASSIGNMENT: NEW PLAN comes from mistakes of their past.
EXT. TESLA DEALERSHIP – DAY.
NANCY, ELIE, JT AND ELTON STAND OUTSIDE ARGUING.
ELIE: Yellow is so yesterday. Get the burnt orange, show some class.
ELTON: Are you saying I don’t have class? Tesla’s come in black or white.
ELIE: No, we know you are a classy guy, well read, versed in classics, poetry.
ELTON: Poetry, what are you inferring?
ELIE: You mean implying? What am I implying?
NANCY: Lets go for a test drive, the manly thing to do!
Salesman keeps keys, shows his power.
SALESMAN: You know, sir about the pedal shift feature.
ELTON: SHE JUST WRECKED MY LAST TESTLA. TALK TO HER!
Nancy snatches keys from salesman, hands them to Elton.
NANCY: Let’s let the gentleman drive his new car!
SALESMAN: Is she your girlfriend sir?
NANCY cozies up to JT, looks intimate with him.
Salesan is about to launch into a scolding of Nancy.
JT: ( to salesman, cautions him) Don’t start.
ELTON SLIDES INTO DRIVERS SEAT.
ELIE: Looks good on you, I should say handsome.
JT: Careful buddy, you’re being played!
ELTON: I like it, stop interrupting.
ELIE gets into passenger seat.
ELIE: Take us away maestro!
Elton races away.
JT: What a setup that was, “take it away Maestro”, flatter his fragile ego.
NANCY: Oh exalted one, God of all you survey! Bring your credit cards,
We are going shopping for a diamond Rolex.
JT: I though you were paying?
NANCY: You have such a wonderful sense of humor.
They laugh together, drive off together
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Vic Valleau Act 3 begins Lesson 17,
What I learned: My wertiting is largely intuitive so I can hide the message. This speed writing
Makes meanings pop out, because no time to finesse, wordsmith etc.
INT. COURTHOUSE STEPS – DAY
FAÇADE ON COURTHOUSE SHOWS JUSTICE IS BLIND AND SCALES ARE IN BALANCE.
NANCY I Know what it is, I know what it is men want!
ELIE: (Not hearing) You cant be late for court, keep you out of jail.
NANCY: Men are just as justified as women. Big mistake blaming them.
It takes two to tango.
Elie: Who wants to Tango? I just want an understanding man!
INT. OUTSIDE COURTROOM – CONTINUOUS
Couples argue. Occasionally their lawyers get into arguments.
ELIE: AT my women’s club, I see everywhere, failing with men.
NANCY: Women got it wrong! Wives and girlfriends are valuable.
Why would a man want a woman as a partner, like business, when he can and does have
Many partners?
ELIE: So I can have a romantic man, love and marriage?
NASNCY: We gave up our advantage with business success and feminism.
Women rule the roost at home, if they want to get and keep a man.
NANCY: I have compassion for men, feel their pain. We are forcing them to be women. .
Feminizined men, GENTLE, FEELINGFUL, are all today’s women know.
They dance, sing a song from her childlhood and clown to please her.
THEY SEE MAN WHO IS CONTEMPTUOUS OF HIS EX- WIFE. Elis is attracted
To his rawness. Flirts, gets his attention.
ELIE: BUT WOULD HE APPROVE OF ME? .
NANCY: Declares freedom from his approval. Just be careful with
The lone wolf, so called Alpha Males. They are hit and run artists.
Never mate. Just rotate willing women,
Great lovers but not caring, taking her, on edge of violent, firm yet gentle enough.
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LESSON 15: ACT 2 TP- THE MIDIPOINT
KEY SCENE 4: TURNING POINT 2
BEAT: JT HAS INTERNET TALK SHOW INTERVIEWS NANCY.
HIS PLAN IS TO SHOW HER AS DAMAGED GOODS, NEEDING A WARNING LABEL TO MEN.
JT SPEAKS TO HIS ONLINE AUDIENCE
JT: women use sex to get their man, will that ever change? We have here TODAY an expert on the subject of
Getting her man, three times divorced and of course three times married, got her man Nancy. Please your answer!
NANCY: I.i.i.i.i.i
JT: the other problem of course is women want the impossible.
NANCY: what am I supposed to say?
JT: there’s an expression: no honor among thieves. Women’s biggest problem is not men, they’re patsies,
but other women, stiff competition. They break ranks all the time. Men are trained to be part of a team.
JT: men have a colorful expression Pussy whipped. What do you suppose that means?
NANCY: love is the strongest force in the world but you don’t have it and need it.
JT: Is that a question?
NANCY: Your aura has been eaten by lion. You are unlucky in love. Is that why you are so cynical?
JT: So you believe in soul mates;? Tell us about your three divorced soulmates!
NANCY: You are a very high status man, at 40, ready for marriage and family. What are you TODAY,
just bait to hungry she-lions.
JT Smirks.
JT: so I need to find my soul mate?
NANCY: YES.
JT; That’s ridiculous. I have dozens of soulmates and according to you I am here I am serving bait to my vast audience.
NANCY: For you a woman like you, a soulmate means a smart, focused, go getter kind of woman.
JT: Don’t women say first sense of humor?
NANCY; Sense of humor and jokes shows a person’s best or worst qualities. If your pain is funny to them,
You should move on. Forget that you have the same likes, food, music, sports.
JT: We are out of time Miss three times divorcee preaching soul mates!
NANCY: If anyone in your audience wonders why women withhold sex, this interview
Should answer that question. If you want a real relationship, be a real women.
JT: I’m here ladies. I’m ready!
NANCY: Me too!
JT: We’re off the air!
DIFFERENT GOAL OF NANCY FROM USING SEX TO SELF-RESPECT AND GETTING INTO HIS HEAD (SOULMATES)
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VIC VALLEAU LESSON 14: ACT 2 Middle scenes 2 & 3
What I learned doing this assignment is: cutting off going back to old ways and
the importance of attempting to use old ways and fail. Thoroughly bankrupt the protagonist’s original plans.
There is no way back or fall back position for pro. No easy way out!.
SCENE # 2
EXT. CHURCH WEDDING – DAY
Crashing the WEDDING party, Nancy and Elie talk in a wedding crowd, walking into the reception.
ELIE: WHAT’S THE BET?
NANCY; LOOK AROUND! FIRST ONE TO GET MARRIED IS THE WINNER. Your prize is a loving man.
ELIE: I’m 40 and never married. Men call me a society matron, ugh!
I can’t keep JT’s or any man’s interest through one dinner date, by desert he’s looking at you! You win!
NANCY: When men find out I’M DIVORCED 3 TIMES, they call me a crazy flaky hippie! I’m good to look at, that’s it!
They avoid talking to me at parties or on the street.
They don’t ask me out so 3 STRIKES IS HARDER THAN NEVER MARRIED!
Maybe we are just quick one-night stands?
ELIE: Men are such animals! Then we give them what they want.
NANCY: Been there, done that for years, 3 divorces, doesn’t work to keep a man. Even pregnancy doesn’t work these days.
ELIE: In the 1950’s romantic movies CALLED SEX THE TENDER TRAP.
NANCY: Sex doesn’t trap anymore it is just too easy. We need to go deeper.
They get uninvited to the reception.
ACT 2 Scene #3 Sets up the midpoint NOT ONLY DOES THEIR PLAN FAIL BUT
BRINGS PROTAG TO HER KNEES.
INT. ELIE’S APT. – ELEGANT COCKTAIL PARTY – NIGHT
Elie and Nancy’s guests include no other women but several men and JY and Elton. .
Elie corners Elton.
Elie: (to Elton) You enjoying our little friends party?
Elton: Just you and Nancy?. Where are the women?
Elie: How many do you need?
Elton: Your little friend owes me bigtime.
I expect you pay up for her.
My Tesla wasn’t insured. JT dared me to buy it. I just drove it off showroom floor.
ELIE: Can’t we talk about something else tonight, like happy to see me?
ELTON: That would be an exaggeration.
ELEANOR: Please lie to me, make me happy. Nancy said You’re an agreeable guy.
Please be agreeable to an old maid like me. I need it more than you will ever know!
ELTON: I was more than agreeable with beautiful NANCY.
ELIE: Please, spare me the details. Lets enjoy the moment.
Elton walks away.
Nancy corners JT
JT: Where’s my watch, I need it to complete my ensemble. Why am I here? What do you want?
NANCY: Id like for you to have a good time.
JT: Elton told me you had a good time with him. But You don’t remember. You were passed out drunk
In his bed.
Didn’t your friend steal it from my bedroom dresser?
NANCY: She was in your bedroom?
Jt: that’s where I leave it.
NANCY: I DIDN’T MEAN TO OFFEND YOU WITH MY QUESTION.
Im leaving. Where is that stupid Elton, he drove, rental car, not Tesla Why am I
Explaining to you, you made that possible.
NANCY: So sue me Asshole!
JT: love to sue you. I can’t. You’re my client, lucky you, got you out of jail.
NANCY: My angels are protecting me!
JT: Its more like the lawyer’s canon of ethics is protecting you. Just forget the
Mumbo jumbo.
NANCY: Well, I have my mumbo jumbo and you have yours. Have a good night!
SOTTO VOCE (under her breath) Good night Asshole.
JT What? Mumbo Jumbo? Are you putting a spell on me?
Nancy ushers him out the door, mumbling “Mumbo Jumbo”
Nancy and Elie talk
Nancy: That went well, not!
Elie: Don’t need to worry about those two any more.
NANCY: Right, except for paying back the Tesla and Rolex, were in good shape!
Elie: Mumbo Jumbo?
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Vic Valleau Lesson 14 ACT TWO BEGINS, MIDDLE SCENES? PLANS AND STICKS TO IT.
What I learned: Keeping jeopardy high is easy with disagreeable, intrusive “friends”.
INT. NANCY’S BEDROOM – DAY
Nancy is beyond loaded, almost unconscious but giddy. Volcano vaporizer smokes
On its own.
INT. BACKSTAGE GIRLS CLUB – DAY
Chagrined, Elie is backstage shakes with nerves.
ELIE; I can’t lie to these girls!
GIRL#1 I learned respect thyself, so men will respect us!
Elie: That’s ok when you’re thirteen. I’m three times that.
GIRL#1 Forty? You’re desperate!
INT. GIRLS CLUB AUDITORIUM – NIGHT
Program reads: Respecting women, managing men!
Begin: Elie: Honesty stops me Young ladies, my talk, I can’t give it.
Pandemonium breaks out.
It would be a lie! not very honest.
GIRL#1 I MANAGE MEN BY SAYING NO. DID YOU TRY THAT?
ELIE: WE TRIED EVERYTHING TO TEACH RESPECT.
GIRL #2. We heard, lying, reckless driving and stealing!
Girl #3 There’s gotta be a better way.
ELIE: LETS HAVE A ROUND ROBIN OF BETTER IDEAS, YOU START.
Girl #1No, you start. Why did you steal? Lie? Crash his car?
Girl #2 Did you lie to get away with stealing?
Girl #3 Did you steal to teach them a lesson?
GIRLS; SO THAT’S YOUR ADVICE? FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE?
We’re having a board meeting over your failures.
ELIE: WAIT
GIRL #1. NO, COME BACK NEXT WEEK WITH YOUR ANSWER. I CAN’T WAIT!
GIRLS: Neither can we!
INT. GIRLS CLUB BOARD MEETING – DAY
Girl #1What’ll we do girls? A plan besides saying no!
Girl #2Lets tell them 10 days to prove yourselves
Ggirl#3 And redeem the world for all womankind!.
INT. GIRL#1 BEDROOM
Five girls meet.
#1 My dad is in charge of the courts and arrests and criminals like those two.
#2 They’re not criminals, just blunderers!
#3 We told them to go, come back with tested plan.
#4 A plan, we innocent young women can use to build intimacy, trust, communication
#5 Get a dog, that’s my plan!.
INT. GIRLS BEDROOM- LATER NIGHT.
Empty bottles of alcohol litter surfaces.
Girl #1So there is no downside to seduction as a woman’s best weapon. Men are weak and women
Use this for centuries to get their way, right.
Girl #3 You can’t say that in todays world. Men are bad.
Girl #2 Cynical men call it, touch a woman, go to jail!
Girel #3 What a sexist attitude!
Girl #1 We want a Goldilocks man, your porridge is not too hot, not too cold, just right!
And its French. Viva la difference! Thank god, they’re ruled by their pants and we are the smart ones.
Girl #2 Their testosterone is our biggest ally. The more the merrier.
NEW/ OLD RULES: SEDUCTION IS FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR.
Seduction is fair just get them to confess they abuse women.
A published signed confession.
The girls post unsigned confession form all over town. Scares all the young men so no dates for them.
JT and Elton tear them down, laugh with their men friends.
Elie and Nancy are outfitting in sexy red dresses, expecting expensive dinners
And evenings of love.
Dressmakers says no guarantees and no returns!
Women want the impossible happy, healthy, hunky, tall and wealthy 1 in 1-00 men qualify
And every woman is after him.
Women’s biggest problem is not men, they’re patsies,
but other women, stiff competition.
They break ranks all the time.
Ok so what did the girls say our plan is?
Not much but very strong opinions. Range is:
Castrate ‘em to give ‘em a party. Not very organized or focused.
That was the
Result of their focus group. Men fear control by women especially intimate women.
Pussy-whipped is the worst thing one man can say about another.
So lets fry their circuits, pussy whip em om every angle. Its how we started.
Because that’s what works. Withholding sex is best.
PLAN
NANCY: Plan is to become their soulmates:
Detective work, research, Japanese massage happy endings,
Elton likes baby stuffed animals to roll around in.
I FOUND OUT KINKY SSTUFF ABOUT JT TALKING TO OLD GIRLFLRIENDS.
investigate these men’s interview old girlfriends, look up internet facebook,
DOMINATION TO man aways in control, powerful is an aphrodisiac.
Talk to mothers, brothers, be perfectly adapted to their SOUL MATES SO THEY FALL HOPELESSLY IN LOVE
THEN WE WIN. RIGHT NOW THEY HATE US!
ELIE: WHAT’S THE BET?
NANCY; FIRST ONE TO GET MARRIED IS THE WINNER.
ELIE: Im 40 and never married. You win!
NANCY: I’M DIVORCED 3 TIMES, 3 STRIKES IS HARDER THAN NEVER MARRIED!
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Vic Valleau Lesson 13 ACT TWO BEGINS
What I learned: Keeping jeopardy high is easy with disagreeable outsiders.
INT. NANCY’S BEDROOM – DAY
Nancy is beyond loaded, almost unconscious, volcano vaporizer smokes.
INT. BACKSTAGE GIRLS CLUB – DAY
Chagrined, Elia is backstage shakes.
ELIE; I can’t lie to these girls!
GIRL#1 I learned respect thyself, so men will respect us!
INT. GIRLS CLUB
Program reads: Respecting women, managing men!
Begin: Elie: Young ladies, my talk, I can’t give it.
Pandemonium breaks out.
GIRL#1 I MANAGE MEN BY SAYING NO. DID YOU TRY THAT?
ELIE: WE TRIED EVERYTHING TO TEACH RESPECT.
GIRL #2. We heard, lying, reckless driving and stealing!
Girl #3 There’s gotta be a better way.
ELIE: LETS HAVE A ROUND ROBIN OF BETTER IDEAS, YOU START.
Girl #1No, you start. Why did you steal? Lie? Crash his car?
Girl #2 Did you lie to get away with stealing?
Girl #3 Did you steal to teach them a lesson?
GIRLS; SO THAT’S YOUR ADVICE? FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE?
We’re having a board meeting over your failures.
ELIE: WAIT
GIRL #1. NO, COME BACK NEXT WEEK WITH YOUR ANSWER. I CAN’T WAIT!
GIRLS: Neither can we!
INT. GIRLS CLUB BOARD MEETING – DAY
What’ll we do girls? A plan besides saying no!
Saying no is not a plan
What if we let those two cougars test our plan.
What if, what if, what if what?
Lets tell them 10 days to prove yourselves
And redeem the world for all womankind!.
INT. GIRL#1 BEDROOM
Five girls meet.
#1 My dad is in charge of the courts and arrests and criminals like those two.
#2 They’re not criminals, just blunderers!
#3 We told them to go, come back with tested plan.
#4 A plan, we innocent young women can use to build intimacy, trust, communication
#5 Get a dog, that’s my plan!.
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Vic Valleau Lesson 12 FINISHED ACT ONE.
What I learned: Writing skeleton of story as if I were the PUPPET MASTER pulling strings of Story beat and outline really works. Starting new scene
with Story Beat (usually a change of direction from expectation), then filling it out with outline. Keeps me focused on action, not losing focus on descriptive detail.
Also easy to move scenes or whatever needs moving.
PRO:
NANCY EXPANDED INTRODUCTION.
New in town, psychic visionary. Hippie, follows her feelings.
ELEANOR (ELIE): BEST FRIEND, NEW CHARACTER: SOCIETY WOMAN, CLUBS, COUNTRY CLUBS, PHI BETA KAPPA
ANTAG:
ELTON: BEST FRIEND TO JT, too eager.
JT EXPANDED INTRODUCTION
Rigid, social, Very respectable, rich, Lawyer. Talks marriage to get laid.
ACT 1
EXT. RACE TRACK- DAY
Rapidly accelerating, two men friends in a Tesla.
We see sweep second hand of diamond Rolex against interior of Tesla.
JT: I’ll take it.
ELTON: Not for sale, it’s my baby!
INT. RESTAURANT LADIES REST ROOM- NIGHT
Nancy overhears two women talking in stalls about the BET.
Nancy looks under stalls hoping to recognize shoes. Curious, Elie watches her.
As women cycle thru, chat and wash hands, Nancy dawdles to hear more. Elie
Is nearby.
Hears talk of BET of Rolex v. Tesla for first having sex with some woman.
ELIE: Why were you flirting with my boy friend?
NANCY: Your boyfriend? You need to reign him in!
Bring down that testosterone monster. He couldn’t take his eyes off me”.
ELIE: Are you sure?. He doesn’t like hippie chicks, ok beautiful hippie chicks!!
NANCY: Forget it! Boys will be boys!
ELIE: No, somebody has to teach men respect.
NANCY: Society babe like you? What’s the plan?
INT/EXT RESTAURANT LADIES ROOM.
Nancy and Elie hidden, watch JT and Elton.
Elie: Now, what do you suppose that means?
NANCY: We hippie chicks manage out men, watch me!
INT. RESTAURANT TABLE- CONTINUOUS
JT Lays his diamond Rolex on table. Elton lays his Tesla keys on top of it.
Both women stroll past their table. Elie is offended by JT’s attention toward Nancy.
Nancy notices JT covers his hand over the watch and keys. He watches as she walks by.
She dangles her hand on him, whispers. He follows.
Eleanor stops her. They argue.
INT. LADIES ROOM- CONTINUOUS .
Believing he is invited for sex, JT kisses her passionately, pushes her into a toilet stall.
She stops him, questions: a prize for sex with her?
She negotiates: OK I’ll lie for you but we split the prize. He laughs at her.
JT: What prize?
She storms out.
ELTON BEDROOM – TESLA PARKED OUTSIDE
Too emotional to be coherent from drinks, Nancy confronts, Elton denies their BET.
Next morning: Elton claims they had sex.
She leaves, steals Tesla, drives away
INT. ELEANOR’S BEDROOM.
In bed are JT and Elie, doing detective work on the BET.
Finally, she confronts, JT denies Bet.
JT to Elie says you’re not my type. No woman who says” You’re not allowed” is not my type.
Swift, Elis swipes the Rolex, says I got what I wanted, you can go.
INT/EXT. NANCY’S APT.
Extremely anxious, Nancy tells Elie of mysterious outside surveillance.
Unknown, She is watched by detective friend of Elton.
She tells Elie she suspects something from her dark and checkered past,
EXT NANCY’S APT. NIGHT
JT and Nancy talk. She refuses to let him in.
JT: You are a nut, digging dirt, talking to old girlfriends.
NANCY: So arrest me, Mr. Lawman!
INT/ EXT. LIMO – NIGHT.
Placard on minibar says MEET YOU AT THE FOREVER LOVE MARRIAGE CHAPPEL!
Nancy slides in backseat next to Elie, plays with placard.
NANCY: So I win our bet because JT is proposing?
AS limo drives away, Elton’s tow truck tows away Tesla.
INT./EXT
Nancy jumps out of limo, runs back to Tesla but too late.
She stops the tow truck, begs, drives away Tesla, crashes it.
INT. HOSPITAL JAIL – NIGHT .
She calls lawyer JT comes to jail,
Reluctant, He MUST SIGN IN AND swear she’s his client.
Comforts her, a sobbing mess.
Assured of client secrecy, She confides her checkered history.
INT. JT APT – NIGHT
She’s afraid to go home, tells him to go back to date with Elie, so stays in his bed.
INT. ELIE APT – NIGHT
Elie slams door in JT face.
INT. JT BED – NIGHT
JT comes back to his bed with Nancy in it.
Neither can admit or talk about what happened that night.
INT. COURT – DAY
Nancy stands mute as JT enters a Not guilty plea for her.
INT. BAR – NIGHT
BEAT: JT and Elton entertains bar.
MAN: I know where you can get a crashed Tesla!
MAN #2: We see Nancy driving it and Elie wearing it!
MAN #1 You guys know how to treat your girlfriends!.
The women applaud as JT and Elton slink out.
Man #1: Hey don’t forget about the check!
INT. BRIDAL SHOP – DAY
Nancy makes a show of her interest in bridal gowns, playing to
Surveillance man outside window.
ALIE: What is going on?
NANCY: Pretend! Will you be my bridesmaid?
ALIE: Not necessary! You had sex with JT! Get over him!
NANCY: Why? I caught you dating him!
ELIE: Your call stopped him even before he romanced me!
NANCY: You were after sex? That’s it. I quit our bet. Give the watch back.
ELIE: I lost it!
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Vic Valleau Lesson 10 ACT ONE and INCITING INCIDENT
What I learned: Paint/write by numbers works, releases creativity where it’s needed. .
NANCY EXPANDED INTRODUCTION.
New in town, psychic visionary. Hippie, free and a lotta laughs but classy.
Doesn’t follow social rules or know when she’s in trouble.
JT EXPANDED INTRODUCTION
Rigid, social, Very respectable, rich, Lawyer. Talks marriage to get laid.
ACT 1 KEY beats/ 5 SCENES
BEATS
Nancy overhears two women talking in stalls about the BET.
INT. RESTAURANT LADIES REST ROOM – NIGHT
SCENE1 EXCITING OPENING \SCENE INTROS A MAIN CHARACTER, THE CONFLICT AND/OR WORLD.
NEW CHARACTER: Eleanor (Elie) is BLIND DATE LOCAL BEAUTY, SOCIETY WOMAN, CLUBS, COUNTRY CLUBS, PHI BETA KAPPA
Begin: Nancy looks under stalls hoping to recognize shoes. Elie watches her.
Middle: As women cycle thru, chat and wash hands, Nancy dawdles to hear more. .
End: Hears talk of BET of Rolex v. Tesla for first having sex with some woman.
“Why were you flirting with my boy friend? Says Elle to Nancy.
Nancy says just the opposite, he couldn’t take his eyes off of me”.
Nancy and Eleanor develop a plan to teach men to respect a woman.
Men are betting on their boldness, on their prowess
We own sex. We can seduce, then deny sex.
Plan: Each of us screws both men,
Proof is with video or engagement rings, etc.
SCENE 2 INCITING INCIDENT PROPELS PROTAGONIST ON THE JOURNEY.
BEATS
Inciting incident propels protagonist.
OUTLINE
BEGIN JT Lays his diamond Rolex on table. Elton lays his Tesla keys on top of it.
MIDDLE: Nancy notices JT covers it as she walks by.
Bet may be over her and JT looking at her.
End: She dangles her hand on him, whispers. He follows.
Eleanor stops her. They argue. JT leaves
Id rather seduced for revenge, then dump em.
No says Eleanor. That’s ordinary says Eleanor.
Her plan is elegant, no sex, all romance and diamonds!
The more they hold out, the more romantic men become, even diamonds.
We can see if Freud was right, romance blooms with denial, longing for sex.
Nancy I’m getting older and desperate for romance. Why not!
Eleanor: Every women is! We will save womankind!
Nancy: I’m in. I like romance.
SCENE 3 NANCY REACTS EMOTIONALLY TO INCITING INCIDENT.
BEAT: Stop and go awkward, almost sex.
Begins: She stops him, tests him. Why her? a prize for sex with her?
Middle: OK I’ll lie for you but we split the prize. He laughs at her.
End: Hysterical, she begs JT for romance. She storms out.
SCENE 4 TURNING POINT- LOCKS IN THE JOURNEY
Beat: Blind drunk and Seeking refuge with revenge sex with Elton.
SCENE:
ELTON BEDROOM – TESLA PARKED OUTSIDE
Begin: Elton denies their BET.
Middle: Elton claims they had sex.
End: She steals Tesla, drives away
SCENE 5
Eleanor’s bedroom. She steals Diamond Rolex from JT.
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Vic Valleau Lesson 9 & character Introductions.
What I learned: Answering Hal’s prompts adds depth to story.
NANCY INTRODUCTION.
New in town, psychic visionary. A lotta laughs but classy.
JT INTRODUCTION
Very respectable, rich, Lawyer. Talks marriage to get laid.
ACT 1 Four KEY beats/ SCENES
BEATS
Nancy overhears two women talking in stalls about the BET.
INT. RESTAURANT LADIES REST ROOM – NIGHT
SCENE1 EXCITING OPENING \SCENE INTROS A MAIN CHARACTER, THE CONFLICT AND/OR WORLD.
Begin: Nancy looks under stalls hoping to recognize shoes.
Middle: As women finish business, chat and wash hands Nancy dawdles to hear more. .
End: Hears talk of BET of Rolex v. Tesla for first having sex with some woman. “Why were flirting with my boy friend? Says Easy Date to Nancy.
SCENE 2 INCITING INCIDENT PROPELS PROTAGONIST ON THE JOURNEY.
BEATS
Inciting incident propels protagonist.
OUTLINE
BEGIN JT Lays his diamond Rolex on table. Elton lays his Tesla keys on top of it.
MIDDLE: Nancy notices JT covers it when she walks by, so on notice bet may be over her and JT looking at her.
End: She dangles her hand on him, whispers. He follows.
SCENE 3 PRO REACTS EMOTIONALLY TO INCITING INCIDENT.
BEAT: Stop and go awkward, almost sex.
Begins: She stops him, tests him. Why her? a prize for sex with her?
Middle: OK I’ll lie for you.
End: OK, sex and Ill split prize with you
SCENE 4 TURNING POINT- LOCKS IN THE JOURNEY
Beat: Elton tells her about BET.
SCENE:
ELTON BEDROOM – TESLA PARKED OUTSIDE
Begin: Elton tells her about BET.
Middle: In his bed. He says He has vasectomy so no worries, besides nothing happened
End: She runs to bathroom, feels squishy between her legs.
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Vic Valleau Assignment #8 ADD THEME AND ANTAGONIST JOURNEY
What I learned: My story’s theme is basically the erosion and necessity of trust needed for romantic love. I have over a hundred ideas/scenes/ etc on that subject. I hope to organize beats better in #9.
Protag: CONCEPT: Doesn’t trust men.
Antag: Doesn’t trust women.
ACT 1 SETS UP AND SEES OLD WAYS.
1. Uses sex to dominate men, flashes her breasts, open necklines in business dinner with several ogling men. Talking nonsense, just to keep eyes and attention on her.
2. Meets JT, too attracted to him. He’s on a date, she pulls him into ladies room, whispers a sexually propositions him.
3. Dialogue Pro: This is your lucky day! He: Every day is my lucky day! She: I’ve heard, you have party clothes? He don’t worry, I’m circumsized. She hears he’s sterilized.
4. FLASH FORWARD SCENE WITH GF. Scene with gf arguing with her: How can you trust him? you can’t even trust yourself to wait for right man. You seduce any good looking man you see.
5. Your loneliness and lack of trust works against you. You’d be become the town bicycle. every guy gets a ride. Is that the reputation you want?
6. So how to trust a man? Read his mind. If his lips are moving, he’s lying.
7. Back to scene:
8. They have hurried sex, in ladies stall, women look under door, sees his business shoes. Nancy is sitting, straddling his lap to hide her feet from onlookers.
HIM
JT CHARACTER: Driven by lonelyness into Marriage minded. His wanting her is trap he willingly falls into.
1. Act 1
2. INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
3. Later discover the Bet of who has sex with Nancy that night. He tells his buddy Elton but they argue about who can get to her first.
4. Elton says play the syumpathy care dude- your limp and cane women eat it up.
5. Not my fault that drunk bitch destroyed by spine.
6. And of course, no nerves to your dick so now you gobble little blue pills then want to bet me you can do it on command with your handicap? Its not healthy, dude!
7. Thousand bucks say I do!
8. Naaaa, you take that custom diamond encrusted Rolex v. I get your beat up Tesla!
9. Elton says Diamond Rolex would look good on my wrist so you’re on!
10. Meanwhile JT is on setup blind easy date, her hand on his leg so he does the same.
11. Easy date is irritating and testing him constantly, Why do you drive an old school Mercedes instead of Gull Wing BMW, more fitting for you. Why did you breakup with X, etc type questions, instead of tell me about your goals, your future plans, not money questions.
12. His lawyers self importance is off putting, so she drifts away, misses point of his stories
13. He’s loses interest in talking, impressing her, he’ not attentive.
14. JT TABLE – CONTINUOUS
Not with stupid lines but with flirty gestures, he casually flirts with waitress. Its obvious he asks about Nancy’s table.
15. Fascinated, he watches, admires skill of
16. her skin show to corporate men.
17. JT tells his buddy he’s going after her, sex tonight!
18. Meanwhile he calls his date who rejects call as busy talking to Nancy about him. Date calls his phone but on silent, and too busy talk to Nancy.
19. His date comes back, can’t find him, leaves restaurant.
20. Nancy walks by dangles her hand on him, whispers something. He follows.
INT. LADIES ROOM – STALL – CONTINUOUS
Easy Date is flustered, goes to ladies room. Easy Date and Nancy talk in ladies room.
She straddles him sitting on his lap, facing him, slowing and stopping his unzipping, argues about The Bet, Easy date told her about, says she doesn’t want to just be a prize so no sex. Just lie to your friend. I’ll back you up.
He says he never lies to friends and never begs, she says you will this time or lose that stupid watch. They make a deal.
Deal is they have hurried sex but she gets ½ of prize.
9. Angry at bad sex, She wants more. Gaggle of curious women come and go in restroom. He’s terrified when his date comes in, complaining about his absence, telling her friend she plans to seduce him tonight.
10. He loses his erection from fear.
11. His date hears them struggling with no erection, having sex in ladies room, offended, leaves.
12. His pants have telltale stains on them, date points out, runs away.
13. He leaves follows but loses her.
14. Nancy comes back in ladies room with another man for sex, to satisfy her needs, where he failed.
15. INCITING INCIDENT She Pees on stick, tests pregnant. That bastard, he said he was sterilized or was it circumsized?
16. MEETS HIM. TRIES TO TRAP HIM INTO FATHERHOOD with DNA test that backfires. He’s father.
17. Act 2
18. INT. COFFEE SHOP – 6 Weeks later.
19. Elton dangles keys to Tesla, suspects JT lies about Nancy sex, questions.
20. They overhear Nancy her tell Easy Date she is pregnant 6 weeks.
21. Elton says so what, lots of men would step up as father.
22. Quandry for JT to prove test but gets Tesla and then lifelong child support father responsibility.
23. JT hands over Diamond Rolex.reluctant, means he avoids child support.
24. Ow does she find out he renigs, gets revenge?
25. REnigs on his promise to her, refuses DNA test, loses TEstla and watach, Claims she tried to tricked him.
26. Hey where’s my Tesla, you weasling worm?
27. Elton rem;inds him: Look out fallout on BET Hell hath no furry like a woman scorned. She’s got law on her side, you should know Mr. lawyer.
28. Elton hands Rolex back but Nancy swipes it. Well call it child support!
29.
30. ACT 2 CHALLENGE OLD WAYS
31. INT. GYM – DAY
32. Buddy talks. Her Brother meets them, wataches Guys are muscling up and tells she’s believes JT is father. No other sex. Not enough gym workouts for two women in one night! I want to have sex and propose to her tonight, but now this.
33. He’s a lawyer, she’s a visionary medium and artist but earns money by corporate consultations as a psychic visionary, has gallery showing to connect with big wigs.
34. Best Friend (BF) tells her a woman with an hour glass figure means fertility to a man.
35. bF father says in 1950’s girls were penalized for running. Accepted belief was young women’s guts would fall out. Think of chilling impact on youth that image had on their social lives.
36. Internet today informs and commercializes female sexuality.
37. Some believe 3 types of men. Depending on the body part they prefer, like French cooking or scotch whiskey. Three groups of men find different parts of women erotic: breasts, butts, and Pets (oral, hands, toys,games, anything to get you off,
38. BF has huge breasts, says so guess what type is my husband, poor cultures and countries like beefier women who don’t miss any meals.
39. women are big as teenagers hourglass.
40. likes mother earth and blow jobs, or butts and bragging to friends or PET and private.
41. Chunky woman husband likes meat to grab onto, same as butt men. Ethnic men’s preferences. Many women and Smart men like games, fantasies, toys, etc.
42. Irritated with delays, He asks forcefully for 10<sup>th</sup> time, gets swab of his DNA, tests prove baby’s his.
43. By now she can no longer hides it, Still doesn’t come clean and tell JT.
44. He’s given up on her, yet she pushes.
45. Confusing date of conception is why she wants to date him for more sex.
46. He’s courting another girlfriend and several opportunities.
47. INT. HIS HOUSE – DAY
48. She barges in to confront him with his womanizing ways while he’s getting ready for another woman date.
49. He forces her to self understanding, to get her M.O. of she just wants control, to avoid being open, afraid of her emotional life.
50. He says: Be honest, do you really know what you want in a man?
51. GF narrates as we watch: Reality is: Women in a bar hit on the same lucky sap over and over.
52. GF talk: You don’t stand a chance landing him, unless you just offer easy no strings sex in ladies room. Another woman is waiting in front of the line. Don’t fool yourself. Use those visionary medium powers to help yourself get a man, the right man.
53. Admit your mistakes, see other women’s mistakes. How are you different? I’m not, women in love are fallible creatures. Driven by emotion, not rational, logical but feelings of the moment. How else can I live, wporks for me, at little, atr least.
54. Do you want marriage, family? What do you vision for yourself. What makes you happy, enthusiastic?
55. Brainstorm to have your life perfect, exactly how you imagined it to be, living your dream.
56. Nancy: I tried and I failed. I’m too complicated, never understand myself or what I want beyond giving into impulse, like chocolate all the time.
57. TURNING POINT
58. I’m weak worthless, no reason to go on.
59. Suicide attempt? Are you living a life worth living? What gives you motivation, passion, desire to live fully
60. His old ways are to philander, decides to focus on her.
61. her old ways are to philander, decides to continue, despite his objections he wants to be faithful and only her, only them together.
62. She throws his too many dates history in his face, when they’re in coffee shop, three dated women come up to them.
Baby scheme fails.
63. HAS ABORTION.
He finds out, then is upset. He wants to be honorable even though she hides it from him, then pretends doesn’t know who father is..
21. Act 3
22. INT MENS LOCKER ROOM – NIGHT
23. Claims its not his, leaves.
24. She wakes up, begs to get him back.
ACT 3 WITH MIDPOINT CHANGE, OLD WAYS DROP OFF, PROFOUND MOMENTS LEAD TO NEW WAYS
64. Abortion? Or better in Act 2?
65. Watching and condemning JT breakdown over abortion,
66. Tells him test results were unclear, doesn’t really know it’s his. He believes , thinks, knows she has another boyfriend so she’s lies to get away from him.
67. He spies on her, looking for evidence of another boyfriend, cigarettes.
68. What are new ways that come from profound moments?
69. She cares he doesn’t believe her.
70. She sends flowers and apology, asking for his trust.
71. She doesn’t trust him fully yet but each tries new ways to discover, develop and earn trust.
72. (insert trying to trust scene)
73. Insert new ways to earn trust.
ACT 4 TEST CHANGE IN CHARACTER, PROVE THE NEW WAYS
WHAT IS HER CHANGE? TRUSTS MEN? FIRST TRUST HERSELF.
She listens as Friends push marriage. She comes back,
74. She gets close then moves away, flip flops,
75. He reverts back to insensitive.
76. She hardens to men’s efforts.
77. His best friend interest in her ripens as gap between them widens.
78. Best friend courts her flowers, gets in fight with JT.
79. JT says she’s a slut, con or grifter, after his money, very divisive to them.
80. JT apologizes but she’s out with best friend who’s proposing.
81. NOTE: build this bf character from beginning.
82. Uses her new learning to ask questions on their date.
83. Likes his answers so She Gets committed to another man.
25. Act 4 THERAPIST OFFICE/ BAR/ SAILBOAT???
26. Drunk ravings in a bar to no one in particular. Elton hushes him.
27. Meanwhile she needs money, does internet porn, private viewings called youview $60K month. Insecam, subscribers.
28. He hardens, irrational.
29. Blames her for pregnancy
30. Next day, he challenges her to respect men and show positive change in attitude toward others.
31. She fails in his mind,
32. Elton sees opportunity for rescue operation.
33. She sees Elton as a better man, leaves JT out.
INT. LOVE NEST APT. 1YEAR LATER.
34. She’s domestic motherhood with husband Elton.
becomes loving and emotional master.
Elton is wearing Rolex. Tesla is parked outside. Baby boy is cooing.
JT is knockling at door but they pretend not to hear knocking, laughing.
ADD these transformational events to your four act structure.
I did a cut and paste, adding his transformational events to her four Acts. I hope I can sort thru it in #9. I kept original numbering, separating hers from his. Time sequences are disjointed but many great beats drive the story.
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Vic Valleau Assignment #6-7 High Speed Bat Sheet
What I learned: Sailing in uncharted waters was my experience of this. My story is about trust so I Trusted the directions and simply did the assignment.
Pro: CONCEPT: Doesn’t trust men.
ACT 1 SETS UP AND SEES OLD WAYS.
1. Uses sex to dominate men, flashes her breasts, open necklines in business dinner with several ogling men. Talking nonsense, just to keep eyes and attention on her.
2. Meets JT, too attracted to him. He’s on a date, she pulls him into ladies room, whispers a sexually propositions him.
3. Dialogue Pro: This is your lucky day! He: Every day is my lucky day! She: I’ve heard, you have party clothes? He don’t worry, I’m circumsized. She hears he’s sterilized.
4. FLASH FORWARD SCENE WITH GF. Scene with gf arguing with her: How can you trust him? you can’t even trust yourself to wait for right man. You seduce any good looking man you see. Back to scene:
5. They have hurried sex, in ladies stall, women look under door, sees his business shoes. Nancy is sitting, straddling his lap to hide her feet from onlookers.
6. She wants more. Gaggle of curious women come and go in restroom. He’s terrified when his date comes in, complaining about his absence, telling her friend she plans to seduce him tonight.
7. He loses his erection from fear.
8. His date hears them struggling with no erection, having sex in ladies room, offended, leaves.
9. He leaves follows but loses her.
10. Nancy comes back in ladies room with another man for sex, to satisfy her needs, where he failed.
11. INCITING INCIDENT She Pees on stick, tests pregnant. That bastard, he said he was sterilized or was it circumsized?
12. MEETS HIM. TRIES TO TRAP HIM INTO FATHERHOOD with DNA test that backfires. He’s father.
13. ACT 2 CHALLENGE OLD WAYS
14. INT. GYM – DAY
15. Buddy talks. Guys are muscling up. Not enough gym workouts for two women in one night! I want to have sex and propose to her tonight, but now this.
16. He’s a lawyer, she’s a visionary medium and artist but earns money by corporate consultations as a psychic visionary, has gallery showing to connect with big wigs.
17. He asks forcefully for 10<sup>th</sup> time, gets swab of his DNA, tests prove baby’s his. She hides it, Doesn’t tell JT. Pushes to date him more sex but he’s courting another girlfriend and several opportunities.
18. Be honest, do you really know what you want in a man?
19. GF narrates as we watch: Reality is: Women in a bar hit on the same lucky sap over and over.
20. GF talk: You don’t stand a chance landing him, unless you just offer easy no strings sex in ladies room. Another woman is waiting in front of the line. Don’t fool yourself. Use those visionary medium powers to help yourself get a man, the right man.
21. Admit your mistakes, see other women’s mistakes. How are you different? I’m not, women in love are fallible creatures. Driven by emotion, not rational, logical but feelings of the moment. How else can I live, wporks for me, at little, atr least.
22. Do you want marriage, family? What do you vision for yourself. What makes you happy, enthusiastic?
23. Brainstorm to have your life perfect, exactly how you imagined it to be, living your dream.
24. Nancy: I tried and I failed. I’m too complicated, never understand myself or what I want beyond giving into impulse, like chocolate all the time.
25. TURNING POINT
26. I’m weak worthless, no reason to go on.
27. Suicide attempt? Are you living a life worth living? What gives you motivation, passion, desire to live fully
28. His old ways are to philander, decides to focus on her.
29. her old ways are to philander, decides to continue, despite his objections he wants to be faithful and only her, only them together.
30. She throws his too many dates history in his face, when they’re in coffee shop, three dated women come up to them.
Baby scheme fails.
31. HAS ABORTION.
He finds out upset, even though she hides it from him, then pretends doesn’t know who father is..
ACT 3 WITH MIDPOINT CHANGE, OLD WAYS DROP OFF, PROFOUND MOMENTS LEAD TO NEW WAYS
32. Abortion? Or better in Act 2?
33. Watching and condemning JT breakdown over abortion,
34. Tells him test results were unclear, doesn’t really know it’s his. He believes , thinks, knows she has another boyfriend so she’s lies to get away from him.
35. He spies on her, looking for evidence of another boyfriend, cigarettes.
36. What are new ways that come from profound moments?
37. She cares he doesn’t believe her.
38. She sends flowers and apology, asking for his trust.
39. She doesn’t trust him fully yet but each tries new ways to discover, develop and earn trust.
40. (insert trying to trust scene)
41. Insert new ways to earn trust.
ACT 4 TEST CHANGE IN CHARACTER, PROVE THE NEW WAYS
WHAT IS HER CHANGE? TRUSTS MEN? FIRST TRUST HERSELF.
She listens as Friends push marriage. She comes back,
42. She gets close then moves away, flip flops,
43. He reverts back to insensitive.
44. She hardens to men’s efforts.
45. His best friend interest in her ripens as gap between them widens.
46. Best friend courts her flowers, gets in fight with JT.
47. JT says she’s a slut, very divisive to them.
48. JT apologizes but she’s out with best friend who’s proposing.
49. NOTE: build this bf character from beginning.
50. Uses her new learning to ask questions on their date.
51. Likes his answers so She Gets committed to another man.
HIM
JT CHARACTER: Playboy with ideas of marriage
1. Act 1
2. INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
3. On Setup blind easy date, he’ not attentive.
4. JT TABLE – CONTINUOUS
Date is flustered, goes to ladies room. He flirts with waitress, asks for better table near Nancy’s table.
5. Fascinated, he watches, admires skill of
6. her skin show to corporate men.
7. Date calls his phone but on silent, and too busy watching the Nancy show.
8. His date comes back, can’t find him, leaves restaurant.
9. Nancy walks by dangles her hand on him, whispers something.
10. Act 2
11. INT. COFFEE SHOP
He overhears her tell lllgf she is pregnant 6 weeks
12. Gets her pregnant
13. Claims she tricked him.
14. Act 3
15. INT MENS LOCKER ROOM – NIGHT
16. Claims its not his, leaves.
17. She wakes up, begs to get him back.
18. Act 4 THERAPIST OFFICE/ BAR/ SAILBOAT???
19. He hardens.
20. Blames her for pregnancy
21. He challenges her to show positive change in attitude toward others.
22. She fails in his mind, finds a better man, becomes loving and emotional master.
ADD these transformational
events to your four act structure -
Vic Valleau Transformational Events Lesson 6.
“What I learned doing this assignment is…to push thru boredom, etc. to the magic. Start with the Character Arc and the list of Old Ways and New Ways.
Nancy/ Protagonist/ Character Arc from Lesson’s 2-3
Old Ways/ New Ways Steps below use Old and New Ways for each character.
Make a list of 6 – 8 changes or steps, beginning (Old Ways) to who they are in the ending (New Ways).
HER CONCEPT: Doesn’t trust men.
CHARACTER
1. Tries to dominate men.
2. Meets JT, too attracted to him.
3. Act 2
4. HAS ABORTION.
5. Doesn’t tell JT.
6. Act 3
7. Doesn’t know who the father is.
8. Watching and condemning JT breakdown over abortion, doesn’t really know it’s his.
9. Act 4
10. She flip flops, reverts back to insensitive to men’s efforts.
11. Gets committed to another man.
HIM
CHARACTER: Looking for marriage
1. Act 1
2. Women set him up dates a lot.
3. He slides with easy dating.
4. Act 2
5. Gets her pregnant
6. Claims she tricked him.
7. Act 3
8. Claims its not his, leaves.
9. She wakes up, begs to get him back.
10. Act 4 He hardens.
11. Blames her for pregnancy
12. He challenges her to show positive change in attitude toward others.
13. She finds a better man, becomes loving and emotional master.
ACT 1 SETS UP AND SEES OLD WAYS.
ACT 2 CHALLENGE OLD WAYS
ACT 3 WITH MIDPOINT CHANGE, OLD WAYS DROP OFF, PROFOUND MOMENTS LEAD TO NEW WAYS
ACT 4 TEST CHANGE IN CHARACTER, PROVE THE NEW WAYS
ADD these transformational events to your four act structure.
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Vic Valleau 4 Act Transformational Structure, LESSON 5
What I learned doing this assignment is: This is a fast way to write a Transformational Structure, moving from concept to character to Transformational Structure of their journey. Four act turning points keep story moving with character actions/reactions.
Create a first draft of your 4 Act Transformational Structure.
1. Give us the following:
Concept
After she criminally attacks her lover, she Earns probation with lying and blaming him and Vows to counselling to calm down, help men thru difficult divorces and child visitation. Meets JT who is her supervisor of her probation program. He meets her as a counseling client with his 3 year old daughter.
Main Conflict
Her and men: can she learn to accept and trust men?
Old Ways
She doesn’t trust, tries to
dominate.
New Ways
He pushes her to Becomes sensitive
to their efforts. Understand men are human also.2. Fill in each of these with the answers you have right now.
Act 1: SET UP AND SEE OLD WAYS
Opening
In church, listening to sermon
about marital fidelity, she flirts
with married man.Explaining to probation officer, or to empty chair
Inciting Incident: sex with
wrong married man whose wife is her sentencing judge.
Judge Wife sentences her to helping
homeless. She gravitates to men
with fall- out from divorce, wrecked lives.
jail
Turning Point
She takes on helping menAct 2: CHALLENGE THE OLD WAYS
New plan
Plans to escape probation
Plan in action
He Midpoint Turning Point- he
brings her back, deal is she surrenders and cooperates plea bargain.
She seduces him, her
supervisor, sponsor, She Sees helping as selling out, revolts.Act 3: WITH MIDPOINT CHANGE, OLD WAYS DROP OFF, PROFOUND MOMENTS LEAD TO NEW WAYS
Seeds of doubt. Rethink everything Decides to help one
deserving man, BUT CAN’T FIND ONE!
New plan. JT takes her on as pro bona, violates
his duties, steps up,
Turning Point: Huge failure /
She gets pregnant, hides it.
Major shift He is removed, censured. Now she needs to rescu him but
unwilling, unless he earns it.
Daughter loves her. Wants to
love dad, pretends but failure is her emotions can’t allow love/weakness.
He says he can help, being a
secret loyal lover.
She says no, only marriage will
vindicate their relationship publically.
He is convinced he’s doing
right thing, married women are above slut suspicion.Act 4: TEST CHANGE IN CHARACTER, PROVE NEW WAYS
Climax/Ultimate expression of
the conflict
He is standing at the alter. She calls him outside, hits with car.
Resolution She runs into church, explains JT was a
stand-in for best friend. , gets another man his best friend, quick marriage
vows, then runs away with him. Sex
attacks him then he has her committed.
The end.3. Once you have created the 4-Act Structure for your Protagonist, go back over it to see if there are any big picture points you need to add to represent your Antagonist.
4. Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” and put it at the top of your work.
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Vic Valleau Lesson 4 Character Interviews
What I learned doing this assignment: Writing fast with less control produces a better story, unpredictable.
LESSON 4 CHARACTER INTERVIEWS
QUESTIONS FOR YOUR PROTAGONIST
Tell me about yourself.
I’m just an ordinary girl looking for an ordinary guy.
Why do you think you were
called to this journey? Why you?Beats me! Maybe it’s part of my probation, a secret little punishment.
You are up against <the
Antagonist>. What is it about them that makes this journey even more
difficult for you?JT has a reputation with women. He is a raconteur. Isn’t that a good word for a high school dropout to use, right?
In order to survive or
accomplish this, you are going to have to step way outside of your box.
What changes do you expect to make and which of them will be the most difficult?Pretending I’m in love.
What habits or ways of thinking
do you think will be the most difficult to let go of?Pretending he’s the perfect man! Stop being critical of him or of other people.
6. What fears, insecurities and wounds have held you back?
My perfect parents divorce.
What skills, background or
expertise makes you well-suited to face this conflict or antagonist?My parents counseled divorcing couples. As a child I listened from the other room. People are evil, particularly wandering husbands. Now, Im an expert in making husbands wander, then I punish them.
What are you hiding from the
other characters? What don’t you want them to know?That I have an agenda to punish men.
What do you think of <the
Antagonist>?He’s perfect, ripe for his punishment.
Tell me your side of this whole
conflict / story.This could be her jailhouse confession:
I dedicated so much time and energy to this one weak man to wake him up. He has followers I’m sure, who will have second thoughts about being unfaithful to their wives, girlfriends, etc.
I run him over twice. Once just to scare him. You should see his face when I’ came at him at 50 miles and hour. Splat, really ruined his beloved VW van!
What does it do for your life
is you succeed here?My mission accomplished, a cautionary tale for young women.
Ask any other questions about
their character profile that will help you.Isn’t using dating and sex as a weapon deeply immoral and unethical? Answer: YOU have no idea of women’s suffering caused by men. I’m balancing the scales of justice a little.
QUESTIONS FOR YOUR ANTAGONIST
Tell me about yourself.
I’m a solid guy, a real catch for women, everyone says. People look up to me, why I don’t really know.
Having to do with this journey,
what are your strengths and weaknesses?I’m told every day about my strengths, a gentleman, a successful gentleman and a scholar. Did I leave out kind toward children and animals, and women.
Why are you committed to making
the Protagonist fail? Or for a relationship movie, why are you committed
to making them change?Does she even want to change? She would be a lot happier if she got off her high horse and listened to me, for once. She hangs onto her harmful, useless, stupid opinions and views, which are damaging to her and incidentially, to me. Of course, she doesn’t consider my welfare.
In college I was a sexton, a church janitor so I also cleaned women’s restrooms. To be delicate, they suffer enough with their biology, so I try to be kind. After all, they have babies, which keeps the world turning. I just plant the seed.
What do you get out of winning
this fight / succeeding in your plan / taking down your competition?I never say no to a woman, argue or challenge. It’s not gentleman behavior. People say I coddle women I’m interested in. When it gets me in trouble, like sued for paternity, I settle. You can never beat a woman since Hell hath no furry like a woman wronged. Society is against you, protecting female bad behavior. It’s bad manners to be truthful, even if she “jumped my bones”. You shouldn’t force her to face herself and bad behavior. It takes two to Tango but its always the man who is the philander. Society never blames the woman. I hate myself for saying that, but it’s true.
5. What drives you toward your
mission / agenda, even in the face of danger, ruin, or death?I really want her as a girlfriend.
If sex is the mark of a good relationship, we are great together! Thankfully I’m friends with local cops who walked away, ignoring our public indiscretions! I can never tell when or where she wants sex; on the beach, in city hall after closing, once even in jail, or my boring old beach cabana.
I know she tried to kill me once when I said let’s wait about getting married. She tried to run me over with my own car, got my leg pretty good.
6. What secrets must you keep to succeed?
What other secrets do you keep out of fear / insecurity?Her brother tells me dirt on her, cautions me to wake up, points out wreckages she caused with men pursuing her. I’m sworn to secrecy Ill never tell her.
Compared to other people like
you, what makes you special?I have a fan club of women advising me, hoping they will be my next girlfriend.
What do you think of <the
Protagonist>?She’s a great challenge, maybe my best yet. Bagging her would be like a trophy for my new fireplace. Serious, I could fall in love with her. She brings out the animal in me!
Tell me your side of this whole
conflict / story.All games aside, she is worth the challenge. If that’s too much masculinity, then say getting her would be like winning the league championship and getting the ring. Women are trouble wanting you to change something about you. She’s obvious what she wants. I can read her next move.
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Subject line: (Your name’s) Character Profile Part 2 (place in first line)
Vic Valleau, 2 Character profiles, part 2
Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” and put it at the top of your work
I learned to keep writing, not stop to look at and evaluate what I just wrote. Better is to write fast, then walk away, get it done.
ASSIGNMENT
2. What draws us to this
character? Protagonist “Almost Nice Nancy”Traits:
NANCY
She is a whirlwind, exciting, fun, unafraid and fully expressed and a powerful and free natural leader, brilliant at manipulating people to cover her innocent? wrongdoings. Her flair for living, constant activity throws people into creating new social situations, expanding everyone’s social horizons. It is always an unforgettable party around her. She blasts ahead, stirs things up. 30, beautiful, powerful
She is a RUNNER: She is plagued by unworthiness, cannot sit still, leaves quickly after sex, avoids feelings. She’s not what she seems as happy carefree, go lucky. Deeply troubled, she does not understand and cannot experience her emotions, even love or anger. Her thoughtless actions harm others but she doesn’t notice. She acts out her anger, rather than talking to a confidant.
He J.T:
DREAMER Antagonist role: Savior complex so chooses wounded women he can rescue. Womanizer but overlooked since he is an important man about town. Change agent; BELIEVES IN TRUE LOVE, but toys with her whenever he can. Like puzzle pieces, each has met their match. Secretly, he wants marriage and family but fears commitment, castration by marriage. He is 40, puts on brakes, talks sense, is loving but too hopeful about her, delusional. He is the golden boy of the town, a catch, runs away from too eager women. She runs, he chases. He’s not cautious, a law judge part time but too lenient.
4. OTHER CHARACTERS: They both have confidants, maybe lovers, brothers mothers.
5. Genre: Rom-com.
Flaw:
She in incapable of social normalcy, is questioned by others, must leave when she fails to fit in. Her style of interaction is hit and run. She’s lightening quick, sucks admiration out of people, then leaves. She’s afraid of depth, of heartbreak, of love.
His flaw is desperation, wanting quick results and impatience.
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Values:
She values adulation, admiration, control over social situations. She prides herself on being a rebel. She skirts on edges of overwhelming and unacceptable behavior. She is addicted to the thrill of being a rebel.
He Values entertainment too highly. He expects honesty, social standing, wanting a beautiful girlfriend to elevate his standing, work and being punctual, deeply values his long-time friends, His life is boring so he seeks relief from day to day responsibilities.
Irony:
Her weaknesses are seen as strengths by everyone, almost. She scares away romantic interest to all but most foolhardy.
He is planting seeds of destroying his carefully constructed life. He brings “fox into henhouse”
What makes this the right
character for this role?She: First impression, she’s open, honest, trustworthy, spontaneous which captures her fans. Deeper view, her thoughtless, “bull in a china shop” habits are both vexing and freeing for her and others in her orbit. Her lack of control is seen mistakenly, as fearless and honesty.
He: He’s established, resourceful, desirous of romance, ready, willing and able to leap into marriage, a true believer. His establishment friends and family encourage him.
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7. What I learned: Making them bad and getting characters in trouble is fun. No worries about getting them out of trouble.
PROTAGONIST: Nancy is fashion model beautiful, 30s, too smart, protagonist and love interest of Jimmy. At 15, she seduced her old minister with chaotic fallout, including causing her family to flee town. Promising to reform didn’t help her promiscuity.
She’s divorced three times, never admits it, yet lives like in a teenager’s fantasy in beach resort, luring men in her bikini, meeting them in her hostess bartender jobs, engaging in friendly pickup contests with waitresses.
She’s afraid of depth, of heartbreak, of love, yet skirts on edges addicted to the thrill and conquest but rarely now, ends up with a man.
Internal Journey: The character arc that shows a change of mind and emotions. Treating men as the weaker sex. Is losing its thrill. Always being on top loses its newness.
External Journey: The character arc that shows an action and experience change.
She dresses sexy, but now wears modest, button up outfits to hostess, no men’s business cards, loses job as not sexy enough.
Motivation: Nancy’s want is usually to achieve a goal: like a princess, to be admired, worshipped.
NEED: Their need is a base internal state that is missing for them: missing for her is love, belonging, recognition, being left out/ unworthy. Uses people as stepping stones to her importance. She’s a femme fatale to the weak and corruptible. Proves she’s worthy and then steps up to be better than others.
Wound: A deep seated emotional trauma that continues to haunt the character. Much of their life may be about somehow resolving this wound. Her parents were ;judgmental religious, ordained ministers. She was punished and repeatedly failed as a child.
Mission/Agenda: Turmoil internal and reflected in her social actions. She needs distraction and turmoil to cover her inner turmoil.
Secret: What are they hiding that affects the story in an important way? She hides her past. She pretends to be cheerful when she’s actually deeply troubled. She’s driven to create chaos petty theft, almost innocent kidnapping, arson or mayhem with easy explanations, e.g. Popping balloons outside police station like gunshots.
What makes them special? The one thing that completely separates this character from all others. Their uniqueness.
She is exciting, fun, unafraid and fully expressed and a powerful and free natural leader, brilliant at manipulating people to cover her wrongdoings.
ASSIGNMENT #2
2. Her role: RUNNER: She is plagued by unworthiness, cannot sit still, leaves quickly after sex, avoids feelings.
3. Antagonist role: Accused womanizer but important man about town. Change agent; preaches true love but toys with her because he can. She has met her match. Secretly, he wants marriage and family.
4. OTHER CHARACTERS: They both have confidants, maybe lovers, brothers mothers.
5. Genre: Rom-com.
6. Her/his role in story: She blasts ahead, stirs things up. 30, beautiful, powerful. He is 40, puts on brakes, talks sense, is loving but too hopeful about her, delusional.
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1970’s, “Almost Nice” Nancy is the hero. She is a hostess at an elegant beach restaurant/resort. She is almost a manager, requiring a few more seductions, she would manage gleefully, but she isn’t ambitious. That’s what men are for and thank God for the “pill”.
Inner Journey: Seduction is easy. Men are weak. Her beauty attracts the wrong men. Beauty is her cross to bear or is beauty a blessing from the Gods. .
External Journey: Man who awakens her to love is also man she needs but doesn’t indulge her narcissism.
Old Ways:
Princess who rules men
New Ways:
Falls in love. exposes her heart, but too late.
What I learned: I am driven and most enjoy writing about my current life concerns and experiences. I had sketched out a story about my days at Cornell Law, then moved into this. My usual approach was to evolve character arcs as script progressed. This top down approach seems a lot faster.
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Hi I’m Vic Valleau and in the middle of a personal Renaissance. My first writing teacher was Syd Field and writing, publishing etc something ever since. Class size 4 or 5 on his living room floor. Just co-produced short film in festivals in 2021. I hope to speed up my writing.
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I agree to the terms of the release form.
Vic Valleau
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Lisa
Here’s “Bob’s Baby” and Thanks! Ill email it to you now. Sen me yours when you are ready.
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Hi Lisa
I will exchange rom coms with you. I should
have 2nd draft critique back today from Karen, so will send it over, if
agreeable. My email is
Thanks
Vic
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Hi Renee
I’m ready to exchange anytime. My offer to Karen
seems unanswered so I’m available.
Thx Vic Text: 310-985-3525
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Hi Karen
I missed your reply. If not interested, ill go on to another partner.
Please advise. My acceptance to your request was posted below your
invitation.
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Hi Travis
I was hired as the lead, for the promotional trailer going to convention in Las Vegas. I shot the trailer which raised $10 mil. then dumped me and hired Dannis Hopper and finally Ed Harris.
I’m also in ‘Night Shift’ as studio executive at table with Bob Balaban, Dir. Betty Thomas.
Thx for your interest and question.
Vic