[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Dialogue 7 – 8

What I learned doing this assignment is that current, future, or past action can be established in dialogue.

• Dialogue Skill 7. Dialogue As Action

HAL: Passing through the 2-million-mile deceleration point in 20 minutes.
This defines current and future action.

HAL: We’ve taken strike to the fuel system.
[Later]
MIKE: What the hell, HAL! We’re gonna land and never leave?

• Dialogue Skill 8. Subtext
MIKE: It just doesn’t get any better than this, HAL.

[Ironically]
HAL: I comprehend your excitement. We are well prepared for this venture.
[In actuality, they are about to find themselves stranded lightyears from home.]

You’re my only friend, HAL. [Meaning I’ll never have another friend the rest of my like.]

Each of these has markedly improved the interest for deeper understanding.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Dialogue 4 – 6

What I learned doing this assignment is how I can find much more useful dialogue to accelerate and support the essence of each scene focusing on the story line.

• Setup / Payoff
I used this to introduce the spaceship’s Onboard AI that Mike nicknamed HAL.
MIKE: “HAL, AOK with you?
HAL: “Onboard AI pre-ignition checklists complete, AOK for launch.

To expo the mission length: MIKE: “See ya in the spring, Bob. Spring of 2037 that is.”

[When Mike dreams of his return, he thinks about marrying his little sister’s beautiful friend. In his dream they’re putting their twins down for the night]
MIKE: There’s no place on Earth I’d rather be, or nothing I’d rather be doing than this, right now.
SAMANTHA: What about on some other planet?
MIKE: Haven’t you seen my picture of the Tomarians?
(They laugh as they lean into each other’s arms.)

• B. Anticipatory Dialogue
Foreshadowing a love story, during the opening launce scene:
LAUNCH CONTROL: I’ll be waiting, Mike. Don’t be late.
MIKE: Depends on what the women on Tomara look like.

Then to establish the length of the mission:
MIKE: Better late than never.
LAUNCH CONTROL: For sure, for sure, big buddy. Lots can happen in 13 years.

• C. Ironic Dialogue
LAUNCH CONTROL: …and in 5, 4,–
Mike Wake my up at zero.
LAUNCH CONTROL: 3, ha! 2, 1, 0. Ignition’s a go. You awake Mike?
Mike shouts over the thundering roar and violent shaking of the spacecrafrt.
MIKE I’ll let you know when I’m not so rattled.

[In Mike dream of returning home.]
MARGRET: All that time I wished I could catch up with you. But now? (sob, sniff, laugh)
Hey, have you seen a certain friend of mine?
There stands Samantha, a truly beautiful woman with flowing red hair.

When they get close enough for HAL to receive signals from the planet and decipher them into audio/visual, he plays if for Mike to see.
The video looks like bleachers with a dozen humanoid adults, all in uniform colored smocks, apparently singing in very unusual hollow harmonies of strange vocals.
MIKE: Looks like, Mitch Miller got here ahead of us.
HAL: Mitch Miller?
MIKE: 1960’s TV musical singing show.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Dialogue 1 + 2

What I learned doing this assignment is that you cannot take for granted you’ve got everything covered as much as it can be. There is always so much more you can do.

Pick three scenes and rewrite them using Attack/Counterattack dialogue.
Select one and give us a Before and After on how that changed the dialogue.
Before: The scene was to show how Desae’s betrothed was killed by the planet’s security force for gathering “Believers” in Logran (God).
After: shows how the one who killed Desae’s betrothed was Amixmu who will also be the one searching for the “alien invader” in future scenes. It develops the drama of this moment in Desae’s life and her dreadful hate for Amixmu. This is done with just a short exchange between them as he arrests her.

Before: Most of the banter between Bob the Launch Control Officer and Mike was light and reviled a little about Mike.
After: The banter between them held a lot of subtext and direct meaningful and appropriate insight into Mike’s life, character, and intentions.

Before: Desae’s reasons for believing that God (Logran) sent Mike for her were not well developed or defined.
After: Desae shares with Nome that when she was pulling Mike from the spaceship, she heard Logran’s voice say, “Love Mike.” [We will find out in subsequent episode that it was HAL using the only word he’s deciphered from listening to Romali music.

Take one lead character and check every line for consistency with Character Profile.
Tell us how that improved the character’s dialogue.

Since I’m constantly aware of keeping dialogue unique to the character’s profiles, running everything through while constantly crosschecking profile information helped me fine tune the attributes I want to highlight for the situations as they go along.

This pilot involves potential lovers separated by culture, language, and origins 6.2-lightyears-apart. Therefore, there is very little dialogue between them. However, their dialogue with others provides many opportunities to demonstrate their unique characters prior to their epoch meeting in the penultimate scene.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne has Completed P/S Grid #2

What I learned doing this assignment is using a checklist to examine, find, improve a script is a great tool that can’t be over used.

Use the “Possible Solutions,” brainstorm how you might solve or improve a problem, rewrite, repeat.
Tell us the problems you solved and/or the scenes you improved, and which solution you used.

1. Missed the Outline in Some Places ~ No, I put the outline into Final Draft, and used it like a template.
2. Not Enough Empathy/Distress ~ Found a few places to improve/enhance them.
3. Character Intros not Strong ~ didn’t need much improvement
4. Characters We Don’t Care About ~ N/A
5. Weak Protagonist or Antagonist ~ Found a few ways to bolster these
6. Characters Need More Depth ~ A continuing evolution in these passes and future
7. Scenes that are Not Intriguing ~ AOK
8. Weak Scenes ~ None, but bolstered some anyway
9. Situations don’t Challenge Characters ~ work in constant progress
10. Exposition Instead of Reveals ~ a few alterations helped
11. When do I Reveal What? ~ Shifted some, may shift as desired in the future
12. Cliché Scenes, Actions, or Dialogue ~ eh, ya, a little

I also added one important scene showing the actual crash landing from the pilots POV.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne Completed P/S Grid #1

What I learned doing this assignment is, if you were comprehensively working all the parts of the process up to now, there simply won’t be many or such serious problem areas to improve. HOWEVER, you can always find ways to improve any or all the 14 issues in the index.

Tell us the problems you solved and/or the scenes you improved, and which solution you used.

Upon first reading through the index, I didn’t find any particular weaknesses other than possibly more subtext. Subtext doesn’t always present itself clearly or amply in a first draft, so I read through the current draft looking for opportunities for subtext that highlighted characteristics, subconscious needs, wants, intentions, or just innuendoes between the speakers. While doing this, I stopped after each Act to reread the other 13 attributes to see if I recognized opportunities to punch any of them up in that scene, and to keep them fresh in my mind while reading/editing the next Act.
Lo-and-behold… they were there, both small and significant.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne Has Finished Act 4 + 5

What I learned doing this assignment is I’m getting very comfortable with the process and high-speed writing.

Tell us any insights you had using the High-Speed Writing Rules or writing these final Acts.
I’m far more confident and competent with high-speed writing and will apply it to MOST everything I draft from now on. Writing a series is more complex and requires more foresight than a 100-page feature. However, it is less limited in characters, time, location, and subplots. That is a welcome challenge.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne Finished Act 3

What I learned doing this assignment: Although I’m fulfilling all the process points and brainstormed more, I have not been produced enough pages by about 40%. I expect there will be much more detail to fill in the next few passes.

Quickly rate your use of High-Speed Writing Rules.
A. Consistent use. B. Some use. C. Need to use.
• Rule 1: A
• Rule 2: A
• Rule 3: B ~ I find some word/phrase choices important enough to improve as I go. (This doesn’t bother me.)
• Rule 4: A
• Rule 5: A
• Rule 6: A

Tell us any insights you had using the High-Speed Writing Rules or writing Act 3:
I’m an integrated thinker so, on occasion, I make changes that change my outline. I don’t want to forget them, so I go ahead and do it swiftly. Otherwise, I’ll simply insert a [note] to be integrated into the story later. I don’t see a good enough reason to change my process regarding this as it works well for me.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne Finished Act 2

What I learned doing this assignment is that I have not completely adopted the high-speed writing model, but mostly because I had already written a pilot and I’ve been able to adopt large pieces and then edit / modify those.

Rate your use of each High-Speed Writing Rule:
A. Consistently use.
B. Some use.
C. Need to start using.
• Rule 1: B ~ I may have to do this before sitting down where I feel empowered and want to get right into what’s come to me since last writing.
• Rule 2: A
• Rule 3: B ~ I find a balance increasingly toward the speed side, (working on this).
• Rule 4: B ~ I can solve a problem in a few seconds, so I do, when I can do so quickly.
• Rule 5: A
• Rule 6: A

Tell us any insights you had using the High-Speed Writing Rules or writing Act 2:
I didn’t let the draft that I’d written before starting the course to slow me down. So, I ignored it until now. Unsurprisingly, I found chunks very useful, so I opened a new file and copied and pasted those chunks in as I went along, using about half of that material. I still had to go through and make necessary changes, (i.e. a 2-year-old to 3). It may not have saved much time, but it did preserve some good ideas I might not remember. I was discipline to only include things that fit our processes and contributed to the story and character development.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne Finished Act 1 First Draft

What I learned doing this assignment is how quickly I can capture what I want to establish in few words AN D leave doors open for further expanding setups or story lines.

Tell us how you used the High-Speed Writing Rules and insights you had about writing a first draft.
Although it’s been over a week to do this assignment, there was a pesky little trip to Aruba in-between where I was not allowed to take any work. (Not complaining.)
These speedwriting “rules” are familiar but good to reinforce as writing swiftly actually seemed to leave space to open up the ability to find more ways to create many levels of set up, many of which are undetectable until much later in the story.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s High-Speed Writing

What I learned doing this assignment is how easy it is to simply copy and paste an outline onto the script formatting program and write a script using Copy-Paste more often than not.

Tell us your experience using the High Speed Writing Rules.
I didn’t completely resist some word smithing for better clarity or better articulate important expose information, and still didn’t spend more than estimated time.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Outline With Intrigue

What I learned doing this assignment is a most effective way to organize and create maximum intrigue for a Pilot script, making it binge-worthily addictive.

With each scene, determine the MAIN INTRIGUE to emphasize.
Put it in a Slugline. Give open loops, mystery, empathy/distress, payoff, irony, and setups.

Teaser:
INT. SINGLE SEAT SPACESHIP – DAY (Intriguing World)
Mike finishes final checklist, launching on a 13-year mission alone with no communications with Earth to explore an inhabitable planet 6.2 lightyears away. . . 3, 2, 1, He’s on the way!
• Open Loop: Will Mike ever make it back?
• Mystery: What’s on that planet?
• Empathy/Distress: A 13-year-long mission alone!
• Payoff: Gets to explore a distant planet, potentially inhabited.
• Irony: Traveling at near-light-speed, the round trip still takes 13 years.
• Setup: Mike is on his way for an astronomical adventure!

INT. STANGE MEETING PLACE ON ROMAL – EVENING (Wound)
On a strange planet, a peaceful meeting is raided, leaving a humanoid woman morning her dead lover while being arrested and scorned by an authority figure, Amixmu.
• Open Loop: Where and who is the humanoid woman, & the dead male, she cradles?
• Mystery: What was wrong with a religious meeting that justified Security killing him?
• Empathy/Distress: A woman morns over the killing of her lover, scorned by the killer.
• Payoff: A peaceful gathering is raided with deadly force.
• Irony: Instead of sympathy, Desae gets scorned by Amixmu.
• Setup: There is a great animosity between the Security Force leader, Amixmu, and Desae.

Act 1:
START MONTAGE (Hidden Agenda)
Mike dreams of returning to Earth. Marrying his sister’s best friend, and raising a family, only to wake up 6.2-lightyears away from that dream.
• Open Loop: Is this his future we are seeing?
• Mystery: Will Mike return to marry Samantha and raise a family?
• Empathy/Distress: Mike is a caring family-oriented man.
• Payoff: Mike has plans to marry and raise a family.
• Irony: Mike wakes from a dream of a family to find himself 6.2-lightyears from earth.
• Setup: Mike needs to have a family one day.
END DREAM MONTAGE

INT. SPACESHIP – N/A (Intriguing World)
As they near the planet, Mike is awakened from suspended animation and his dream to prepare a high orbit exploring the planet, but he and his onboard AI must transit a small meteor belt first.
• Open Loop: Will Mike ever fulfill his dream?
• Mystery: Will Mike ever meet Desae, and how?
• Empathy/Distress: Mike is alone with an AI computer so far from home.
• Payoff: He’s made it this far!
• Irony: They are so close to their objective but for a small meteor problem.
• Setup: Mike’s about to make history visiting another inhabited planet.

EXT. FARM ON ROMAL – DAY (Intriguing World)
Desae is worn out farming alone while watching over her 3-year-old son, Nome. But there is much love between them.
• Open Loop: Where did Desae get a son from?
• Mystery: Why is she framing all alone?
• Empathy/Distress: Desae is a hard-working single mom, toiling to make ends meet.
• Payoff: There is much love and understanding between Desae and her son, Nome.
• Irony: Desae works hard with little to show for it.
• Setup: Is a family on Romal like a family on earth?

Act 2:
INT. SPACESHIP – N/A (Imminent Threat)
As they pass through a band of asteroids, HAL maneuvers the ship to avoid collisions while destroying smaller ones with lasers. A small asteroid gets by destroys the ship’s fuel transfer valve, necessitates a crash-landing, and leaves Mike no chance of returning to Earth. HAL locates the best option for a crash-landing and survival thereafter.
• Open Loop: How can Mike ever return to earth?
• Mystery: Will Mike and Desae meet, and how?
• Empathy/Distress: Mike deals with the emergency while realizing he’ll never return to earth.
• Payoff: Mike has a great helpmate in HAL, the onboard AI computer.
• Irony: Mike’s only acquaintance is HAL, the ship’s AI.
• Setup: Mike will be stranded on the planet where Desae lives.

EXT. SMALL FARM ON ROMAL – DAY (Wound)
With crops to harvest, Desae climbs on her tractor, tired, frustrated, and lonely, so she looks up to Logard (God), asking for help, and sees Mike’s ship descend overhead. She rushes to the crash site.
• Open Loop: How will a meeting between literally star-crossed humanoids go?
• Mystery: How will these two different beings relate?
• Empathy/Distress: Desae is a hard-working single mom being worn down.
• Payoff: As she asks Logard (God) for help, she sees Mike’s ship overhead.
• Irony: As much as Desae needs help, it is Mike who needs help right now.
• Setup: This is what we’ve been waiting for, Mike and Desae meet.

Midpoint:
EXT. CRASH SITE – DAY (Strange Behavior)
Desae can see Mike sealed in the small spaceship unconscious and bleeding, but she can’t open it, until HAL assesses the situation and Desae. Then HAL opens the hatch and releases Mike’s safety restraints so Desae can take Mike home to care for him.
• Open Loop: How can Desae help Mike?
• Mystery: What will happen when Mike comes to.
• Empathy/Distress: Desae is a good woman with compassion for an alien human.
• Payoff: Desae carries Mike off to bring him to her home.
• Irony: Mike came to observe from high orbit, soon to be up close and personal.
• Setup: Mike is in Desae’s arms, much like her betrothed was when he was killed.

Act 3:
EXT. CRASH SITE – EVENING (Mystery)
Amixmu, stern Security Force leader, arrives at the crash site, and observes the spaceship, blood on the empty seat, etc. Seeking to kill the alien invader, Amixmu follows Desae’s tractor tracks toward her farm, as dusk makes the wind dusted tracks increasingly difficult to follow.
• Open Loop: Will Amixmu kill Mike w/o giving him a chance to be captured peacefully?
• Mystery: Why is Amixmu so hard, mean, and determined to kill the Alien?
• Empathy/Distress: Amixmu is agitated that the alien got away.
• Payoff: He’s too late to find Mike.
• Irony: In saving Mike, Desae leads Amixmu right to him.
• Setup: Amixmu is an immanent threat to Mike’s and Desae’s lives!

Act 4:
INT. DESAE’S FARMHOUSE – DUSK (Hidden Agenda)
Unconscious and stripped of his space suit, Desae cleans a puncture wound in Mike’s side as 3-year-old, Nome, watches, overwhelmed with fear & curiosity. Unaware they are sitting ducks for Amixmu, she tells Nome, that Logard’s voice told her, “Love Mike.”
• Open Loop: Can this arrangement possibly work out?
• Mystery: Can Mike survive on Romal?
• Empathy/Distress: Desae has compassion for a strange, injured alien.
• Payoff: Mike has no idea he’s about to meet a very different Humanoid.
• Irony: Mike gathering information from high orbit, will now permanently live there.
• Setup: Desae believes Logard (God) told her to “Love Mike”!

EXT. ROMAL WILDERNESS – NIGHT (Imminent Threat)
As night falls it becomes increasing slow & difficult for Amixmu to follow the dusted over tracks. A fierce wild beast stalks him from behind, but he hears it, turns, kills it, thinking it was the alien invader. He closes himself into his vehicle, settling in for the night.
• Open Loop: Can Amixmu continue to follow Desae’s tracks?
• Mystery: Just how treacherous is Romal’s society and wilderness.
• Empathy/Distress: Amixmu is almost killed by a vicious wild predator.
• Payoff: He must wait out the night, giving Desae & Mike a little time.
• Irony: The predator became the prey, (applies to both Amixmu & the beast).
• Setup: Amixmu is willing and capable of killing Mike (& Desae)!

Act 5:
INT. DESAE’S FARMHOUSE – NIGHT (Intriguing World)
Nome expresses his fear of the strange space alien, as Desae looks Mike over. Amixmu will certainly find them in the morning, but for now, when Mike begins to stir, Nome hides. Desae investigating his face, so her pale magenta face is the first unearthly image Mike sees. (Episode 2, next week)
• Open Loop: How will Mike & Desae’s first meeting go?
• Mystery: How can Mike avoid Amixmu, or survive on Romal?
• Empathy/Distress: Mike & Desae must resolve insurmountable complications.
• Payoff: Mike & Desae will finally meet face to face.
• Irony: From 6.2-lightyears apart to face to face, literally in the blink of an eye.
• Setup: It ALL comes down to THIS!

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Scene Requirements

What I learned doing this assignment is that this well-organized process is amazingly helpful to ensure thorough application of structure, challenges, and intrigue techniques.

PASS 1: For each Beat Sheet scene, answer questions to create scene requirements:
Done, but not shown here.

PASS 2: Then turn that into a full description. Results of PASS 1 & 2 below:

Teaser:
INT. SINGLE SEAT SPACESHIP – DAY
• Start: Mike accomplishes final countdown checklist.
• Challenging Situation: Mike is on a mission to explore a far-off planet.
• Conflict: Traveling at “near-light-speed,” Mike will be out of communications for 13 years.
• Action: The rocket lifts off.
• Finish: Mike is on the way to explore a planet 6.2-lightyears away.

INT. STANGE MEETING PLACE ON PLANET ROMAL – EVENING
• Start: There is a peaceful gathering of religious humanoids on a strange distant planet.
• Challenging Situation: A religious gathering of more than two people is forbidden.
• Action: The meeting is raided by Security Forces led by Amixmu.
• Conflict: Amixmu scorns Desae as he proceeds to arrest her.
• Finish: Desae weeps over the dead adult male humanoid she cradles in her lap.

Act 1:
START MONTAGE
EXT. LANDING STRIP – DAY
Mike returns to Earth.
EXT. MIKES MOTHER’S HOME – DAY
He’s greeted by his mother, sister, and her best friend, Samantha.
INT. WEDDING CHAPEL – DAY
Mike marries beautiful redhead Samantha.
INT. BABY’S ROOM – EVENING
Mike & Samantha put their twin babies in a crib, watch over them lovingly.
END DREAM MONTAGE
• Conflict: INT. Spaceship – Mike is awakened from his dream and suspended animation…
• Challenging Situation: …by the ships onboard AI computer, as they near the planet.
• Action: Mike and AI, “HAL,” prepare to enter high orbit to begin exploring the planet.
• Finish: The ship enters a band of small asteroids.

EXT. FARM ON ROMAL – DAY
• Start: Desae is farming…
• Challenging Situation: alone.
• Conflict: Desae is worn out…
• Action: …returns home to check on her 3-year-old son, Nome.
• Finish: AOK, so she returns to her arduous farming.

Act 2:
INT. SPACESHIP – N/A
• Start: Passing through a band of small asteroids just above high orbit.
• Challenging Situation: HAL must maneuver the ship to avoid collisions with larger asteroids and destroys smaller asteroids with lasers.
• Action: A small asteroid strikes the ship’s fuel transfer valve.
• Conflict: Lost fuel means no chance of returning to Earth & necessitates a crash-landing.
• Finish: HAL locates the best option for a crash-landing and survival thereafter.

EXT. SMALL FARM ON ROMAL – DAY
• Start: Desae climbs back on her tractor.
• Challenging Situation: She has crops to harvest.
• Conflict: She’s tired, frustrated, and lonely.
• Action: Desae looks up to Logard (God), asking for help.
• Finish: She sees Mike’s ship descending, and she rushes to the crash site.

Midpoint:
EXT. CRASH SITE – DAY
• Start: Mike remains sealed in the small spaceship unconscious.
• Challenging Situation: Desae can see he’s bleeding from his head & side.
• Conflict: Desae can not open the hatch to help him.
• Action: HAL assesses the situation, then opens the hatch, releases restraint harness..
• Finish: Desae carries Mike’s unconscious body to her tractor to bring him home.

Act 3:
EXT. CRASH SITE – EVENING
• Start: Amixmu, a stern Security Force leader arrives at the crash site.
• Challenging Situation: He observes the spaceship, blood on the empty seat, etc.
• Conflict: Desae is helping & harboring the alien invader he seeks to kill.
• Action: Amixmu finds and follows Desae’s tractor tracks toward her farm.
• Finish: It is dusk, and the wind dusted tracks are difficult to follow.

Act 4:
INT. DESAE’S FARMHOUSE – DUSK
• Start: Stripped of his space suit, Desae cleans a puncture wound in Mike’s side.
• Challenging Situation: 3-year-old, Nome, stands by, overwhelmed with fear & curiosity.
• Conflict: Mike is still unconscious, and they are sitting ducks for Amixmu who is on his way.
• Action: Desae dresses the wound in Mike’s side and cleans his bruised head.
• Finish: She tells Nome, when she picked Mike up, Logard’s voice told her, “Love Mike.”

EXT. ROMAL WILDERNESS – NIGHT
• Start: Amixmu is having a hard time following the dusted over tracks as night falls.
• Challenging Situation: A wild animal stalks him from behind.
• Conflict: The fierce beast readies to pounce.
• Action: Amixmu hears it, turns, kills it, comments, “Thought you were the invader.”
• Finish: He closes himself into his vehicle, making himself comfortable for the night.

Act 5:
INT. DESAE’S FARMHOUSE – NIGHT
• Start: Finished doing all she can, Desae looks Mike over curiously.
• Challenging Situation: Nome expresses his fear of the strange space alien.
• Conflict: Amixmu will certainly capture them in the morning.
• Action: Mike begins to stir. Nome hides. Desae looks closely into his face.
• Finish: Mike opens his eyes to see Desae’s unearthly pale magenta face looking back.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Beat Sheet

What I learned doing this assignment is that I love this process! It is a very logical algorithm that brings out integrated creativity, enabling non-linear storytelling, and very intriguing ways to present it.

ASTRONOMICAL ATTRACTION

Show Concept and Inciting Incident:
When a meteor strike strands a human astronaut, a profound love story is born of a relationship where similarities in humanoid nature struggle against cultural differences between two beings born 6.2-light-years apart.

List of A, B, and C Stories:
A: Survival and evasion of an astronaut stranded on an extraordinary distant planet.
B: A love story driven by similarities, differences, and extraordinary mutual marvel.
C: Dealing with the constant threat of capture by a government, hostile to the “alien invader.”

Current Beat Sheet, no dialogue:
Teaser:
INT. Single seat spaceship blasting off
– Mike is on a 13-year mission to explore Earth’s nearest inhabitable planet 6.2-lightyears away.
INT. A strange meeting place on a planet they call “Romal.”
A humanoid Security Force team raids a secret religious gathering, leaving a pale magenta woman, Desae, crying over a lifeless male.

Act 1:
Montage:
EXT. Landing strip
Mike returns to Earth. Greeters include his mother, sister, and her beautiful best friend.
INT. Wedding chapel
He marries the friend.
INT. Baby’s room
They put the twin children in a crib watch over them lovingly.
End Montage
INT. Spaceship
Mike is awakened from suspended animation and his dream by the ships onboard AI computer, informing him they are nearing the planet.
EXT. Farm on Romal
Desae is farming alone, returns home to check on her 3-year-old son, Nome.
TP: She returns to farming.

Act 2:
INT. Spaceship
Fuel transfer valve, struck by meteor, forces crash landing and no possible return to Earth.
Onboard AI (nicknamed HAL) calculates landing zone with greatest chance of survival.
EXT. Farm on Romal
TP: Tired, frustrated, Desae looks up to Logard (God), sees Mike’s ship descending, rushes to the crash site.

Midpoint:
EXT. Crash site
The onboard AI, HAL, assesses Desae, opens the hatch for her.
TP: Desae carries Mike’s unconscious body to her tractor to bring him home.

Act 3:
EXT. Crash site
Amixmu, stern Security Force leader (from raid scene) views the crash site & the empty seat.
TP: Amixmu personally begins to follow tracts toward Desae’s farm.

Act 4:
INT. Desae’s small farmhouse
Desae dresses a puncture wound in Mike’s side.
3-year-old, Nome, stands by, overwhelmed in curiosity.
Desae tells Nome, she heard Logard’s voice tell her to “love Mike.”
EXT. Wilderness
Amixmu is having a hard time following the dusted over tracks as it gets dark.
A wild animal stalks him from behind, he hears it, kills it.
Amixmu closes himself into his vehicle, making himself comfortable for the night.
TP: Desae tells Nome, Logard (God) sent the alien because he needs her, and she needs him.

Act 5:
INT. Desae’s small farmhouse (LOCK IN)
Mike opens his eyes to see Desae’s pale magenta unearthly face looking back.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne is “Setting Up The Future”

What I learned doing this assignment is that taking conscious searching and contemplations, can add intrigue, many levels of set-ups, and character backgrounds to make the series far more intriguing and addicting.

Go to your TV Pitch Bible & BW Framework to list events/character reveals/under-surface info that can be set up in the pilot.
Tell which ones will be included in the pilot.

These shall be set-up in the Pilot:
Mike intended to get married and raise a family upon returning to earth.

Mike has a significantly strong Christian faith.

Mike thinks Romalis are very funny looking.

Amixmu is cold hearted, mean, and a very capable Security Force leader.

Mike’s father was an astronaut who dies in a tragic mission accident
Desae’s betrothed and father of her 3-year-old, Nome, never knew Desae was pregnant when he was killed.

The wilderness on Romal is dangerous in many ways, (plants and animals).

Desae had been exiled for being a Believer and having a child out of wedlock.

Romal uses a technology system because it is trigital rather than digital, with great superior potential.

HAL speaks to Desae when she’s saving Mike, but she thinks it is the voice of Logard (God).

Desae believes Logard sent Mike to her for her to help, and to help her.

Romal has 2/3s the gravity of earth.

Romal utilizes a form of turbo engines rather than piston engines.

Romali society has many similarities and many profound differences from earth’s.

These will be loosely, hinted upon, or raised in question in the Pilot.

Romal had many wars until the “Final War” in which religious believers were thwarted by an atheistic government, however that government all owed only personal beliefs, but outlawed gatherings of more than two believers addressing a higher power than their Unified Government.

Desae’s best friend’s husband, Bendal, was once an undercover Security Force member under Amixmu. (We see him in the background of the raid scene.)

These will be set up in future episodes (or possibly future seasons):
Desae herself was raised as an orphan after her parents died in Romal’s “Final War.”

Amixmu’s father was a high-ranking member of the religious (losing) military in the “Final War.”

There are too many others to mention that can not be set-up in the pilot.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Adding Empathy/Distress!

What I learned doing this assignment is how to expand, heighten and highlight empathy, plus I found some ideas unrelated that were very useful.

If any can be bigger frame for your story, or are in the story emphasize or expand it:

A. Crucible: Latter, Mike will be trapped between endangering Desae, the treacherous wilderness, and being killed by Amixmu.
• B. Betrayal: Amixmu will suspect that Desae has betrayed Romal by harboring the alien.
• C. Forced Decision: A fuel leak forces Mike to crash land.
• D. Hurt those they love: Desae choses to endanger her own son to help the injured alien.
• E. Emotional Dilemma: Desae risks everything to save the alien and to spite Amixmu.
• F. Exposed: Desae tells her son that she believes the alien was sent to her by Logard (God).
• G. Must Make Decision with Future Consequences: Harboring the alien will be a constant threat.

Build any of these forms of Empathy/Distress into any scenes.

Step 1: Check each scene to see if you can build any of these forms of Empathy/Distress into them.
• Undeserved misfortune: Act-2 Mike’s ship hit by a meteor causing him to be stranded.
• External character conflicts: Desae hates Amixmu for having killed her betrothed.
• Plot intruding on life: The meteor strikes changes Mike’s and Desae’s lives forever.
• Plans that failed: The plan to explore from orbit were changed to firsthand exploration.
• Witnessing the pain of others: Desae empathizes with the unconscious injured alien.
• Extreme consequences: Amixmu had killed Desae’s betrothed now wants to kill the alien.
• Major loss: Mike loses the ability to ever return to earth & family.
• Brings their wound present: Caring for the alien brings back memories of her deceased lover.
Step 2: Make those situations even worse.
• Make it more painful: Never being able to see his family again angers Mike.
• Raise the stakes: Amixmu intends to kill the alien (Mike).
• Create more loss: If Amixmu finds the alien with Desae, she’ll lose Nome as well
• Put any goal, need, value, wound at significant risk: Desae risks all because of her belief in God.
• Time this to be at the worst moment: In the next episode, just as Mikes wound begins to heal, he’s forced to hide which opens it up worse!
• Make it more physically threatening: Amixmu has to spend the night in his vehicle because of the dangerous beasts of the wilderness and kills one with his death stick thinking it was the alien.

Fill those into your current outline and rewrite it.

Teaser: The blastoff of Mike’s 13-year mission to Earth’s nearest inhabitable planet 6.2-lightyears away. While Mike is in suspended animation, about halfway to the inhabitable planet, a humanoid Security Force team on that planet, led by Amixmu, raids a secret gathering, leaving a woman, Desae, crying over a lifeless humanoid who’s head lays in her lap. Amixmu steps over the distort Desae as he arrests her, gloating, “This should get you exiled to the wilderness.”

Act 1: Essence: Mike returns to Earth, greeted by his mother, sister, and her best friend. He marries the beautiful friend, and has twin children, before being awakened from his dream by the ships onboard AI computer, “we are approaching the planet” that they’re on a mission to explore. Meanwhile, Desae, (from the Teaser), is farming alone, returning home to check on her 3-year-old son, Nome.
Turning point: As she returns to her farming work, she’s tired, frustrated, and looks up to Logard (God), asks for help.

Act 2: Essence: The fuel transfer valve of Mike’s ship is struck by a meteor causing the loss of fuel, forcing a crash landing and no possible return to Earth. Mike begins to show great anger thinking of the fact he’ll never be able to return to Earth, but his onboard AI gets his mind busy by discussing his best course of action is for the greatest chance of survival.
Turning Point: When Desae looks up praying to Logard, she sees Mike’s ship descending overhead and rushes to the crash site on her farm tractor.

Midpoint: Turning Point: Desae carries Mike’s unconscious body to her tractor and brings him home.

Act 3: Essence: Amixmu, a stern Security Force leader arrives at the crash site, leads his men to load the empty craft onto a transport vehicle.
Turning Point: He personally begins to follow the dusted over tracts toward Desae’s farm.

Act 4: Essence: Desae dresses a puncture wound in Mike’s side, rinsing it with a sponge very similar to her humanoid head covering. Nome stands by, overwhelmed in curiosity as she works carefully and diligently cleaning Mikes open wound. Desae mentions to her son that somehow having to care for this alien reminds her of his father that he’d never met.
Meanwhile Amixmu is having a hard time following the dusted over tracks as it gets dark. A wild animal stalks him from behind, but he hears it, spins around and fires a liquid from the stick he’s carrying. The liquid pierces the animals hide, dropping it to convulse for a moment before death. Amixmu says, “Too bad, I thought you were the alien.” He closes himself into his vehicle and makes himself comfortable for the night.
Turning Point: Desae tells her son, Nome, that she believes Logard (God) has sent this alien to her because he needs her, and she needs him.

Act 5: LOCK IN As Mike begins to come to, Nome hides, as Desae stares at him in anticipation. Mike opens his eyes to see Desae’s large pale magenta humanoid face looking back.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Open Loops and Mysteries

What I learned doing this assignment is a solid approach to identify and create mysteries and open loops, as well as focusing them on moving the story plot(s) forward.

From outline find at least 5 Open Loops & 5 Mysteries possible in the plot or about the characters.

Teaser:
• Main Mystery:
• Sub-Mysteries:
• Main Open Loop:
• Sub-Open Loops:

Act-1
• Main Mystery: Who is this distort humanoid woman, and why was her lover killed?
• Sub-Mysteries: Who is this mean Security Force Leader, arresting her?
• Main Open Loop: Mill Mike ever return to Earth to fulfill his dream of a family?
• Sub-Open Loops: What will happen to the arrested woman?

Act-2
• Main Mystery: How will Mike survive crash-landing and then what?
• Sub-Mysteries: How did she have a son?
• Main Open Loop: Will Mike meet this humanoid woman, Desae?
• Sub-Open Loops: How will they react when they do?

Mid Turning Point:
• Main Open Loop: How is Desae going to care for Mike?
• Sub-Open Loops: What will Mike do when he comes to.

Act-3
• Main Mystery: Why is Amixmu so mean?
• Sub-Mysteries: How badly is Mike injured?
• Main Open Loop: Will Amixmu find Mike (the alien invader)?
• Sub-Open Loops: What will happen to Mike if he’s found?
Act-4
• Main Mystery: Why is Desae risking herself and her son to help an Alien?
• Sub-Mysteries: Is that “sponge” that Desae is using, cut from her head cover (humanoid hair)?
• Main Open Loop: How long will it take for Amixmu to find them?
• Sub-Open Loops: How will Mike react when he comes to?

Act-5
• Main Mystery: How can they survive and not be found/
• Main Open Loop: HOOK, what will be Mike’s reaction to seeing Desae’s face?

Build in at least one mystery and open loop into each Act of your outline.

Teaser: The blastoff of Mike’s 13-year mission to Earth’s nearest inhabitable planet 6.2-lightyears away. While Mike is in suspended animation halfway to that strange planet, a humanoid Security Force team, led by Amixmu, raids a secret gathering, leaving a woman, Desae, crying over a lifeless humanoid who’s head lays in her lap. Amixmu steps over the distort Desae as he arrests her, gloating, “This should get you exiled to the wilderness.”

Act 1: Essence: Mike returns to Earth, greeted by his mother, sister, and her best friend, marries the beautiful friend, and has twin children, before being awakened from his dream by the ships onboard AI computer, “we are approaching the planet” that they’re on a mission to explore. Meanwhile, Desae, (from the Teaser), is farming alone, then goes home to check on her 3-year-old son.
Turning point: As she returns to her farming work, she’s tired, frustrated, and looks up to Logard (God), asks for help.

Act 2: Essence: The fuel transfer valve of Mike’s ship is struck by a meteor causing the loss of fuel, forcing a crash landing and no possible return to Earth. Mike confers with “HAL” the onboard AI about his best course of action is for greatest chance of survival.
Turning Point: When Desae looks up praying to Logard, she sees Mike’s ship descending overhead and rushes to the crash site on her farm tractor.

Midpoint: Turning Point: Desae carries Mike’s unconscious body to her tractor and brings him home.

Act 3: Essence: Amixmu, a stern Security Force leader arrives at the crash site, leads his men to load the empty craft onto a transport vehicle.
Turning Point: He personally begins to follow the dusted over tracts toward Desae’s farm.

Act 4: Essence: Desae dresses a puncture wound in Mike’s side, rinsing it with a sponge very similar to her humanoid head covering. Nome stands by, overwhelmed in curiosity as she works carefully and diligently cleaning Mikes open wound.
Turning Point: Desae tells her son, Nome, that she believes Logard (God) has sent this alien to her because he needs her, and that she needs him.

Act 5: LOCK IN As Mike begins to come to, Nome hides, as Desae stares at him in anticipation. Mike opens his eyes to see Desae’s large pale magenta humanoid face looking back.

Which Open Loops and Mysteries you’ve added & effect on the interest level of the outline.

These mysteries are intensified by all the mystery of a completely different planet with different landscape, plants, animals, humanoids, culture, language, building structure, even gravity (2/3 of Earth’s).
Nothing can be taken for granted.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne Stacks Intrigue

What I learned doing this assignment is how to add intrigue to each Act focused on the turning points.

Make a list of your turning points.
Teaser: Desae holding her dead lover’s head is arrested by Amixmu.

Act 1: Desae looks up to Logard (God), asks for help.

Act 2: Desae sees Mike’s ship descending overhead and rushes to the crash site on her farm tractor.

Mid Pt. TP: Desae carries Mike’s unconscious body to her tractor and brings him home.

Act 3: Amixmu begins to follow the dusted over tracts toward Desae’s farm.

Act 4: Desae believes Logard (God) has sent this alien to her.

Act 5: Mike opens his eyes to see Desae’s large pale magenta humanoid face looking back.

Brainstorm TP intrigue with TECHNIQUEs and how to create intrigue for each Turning Point.
• Intriguing World: Description of Romal & humanoids: Desae, Amixmu, & Nome.
• Intrigue: Will Amixmu catch Desae harboring Mike.
• Mystery: Why is believing illegal on Romal? What will happen to Mike?
• Secret: Desae believes Logard sent Mike to her.
• Deception: Desae’s tracks are dusted over by the wind.
• Conspiracy: Desae intends to keep Mike hidden from authorities.
• Secret Identity: Mike is considered an Alien Invader by the Romali government.
• Wound: Desae lost her lover to Amixmu’s Security Force. She despises him.
• Hidden Agenda: Amixmu dislikes Desae & would enjoy catching her harboring the alien.
• Hidden Layer: Mike has a strong desire to have a family one day.
• Strange Behavior: Desae can carry Mike, larger than her.
• Accusation: Amixmu suspects Desae is harboring the space alien.
• Act 1 Turning Point: Mike and Desae first meet, face to face.

Select the ideas you like and add them to your growing outline.

Teaser: The blastoff of Mike’s 13-year mission to Earth’s nearest inhabitable planet 6.2-lightyears away. While Mike is in suspended animation halfway to that strange planet, a humanoid Security Force team, led by Amixmu, raids a secret gathering, leaving a woman, Desae, crying over a lifeless humanoid who’s head lays in her lap. Amixmu steps over the distort Desae as he arrests her, gloating, “This should get you exiled to the wilderness.”

Act 1: Essence: Mike returns to Earth, greeted by his mother, sister, and her best friend, marries the beautiful friend, and has twin children, before being awakened from his dream by the ships onboard AI computer, “we are approaching the planet” that they’re on a mission to explore. Meanwhile, Desae, (from the Teaser), is farming alone, then goes home to check on her 3-year-old son.
Turning point: As she returns to her farming work, she’s tired, frustrated, and looks up to Logard (God), asks for help.

Act 2: Essence: The fuel transfer valve of Mike’s ship is struck by a meteor causing the loss of fuel, forcing a crash landing and no possible return to Earth. Mike confers with “HAL” the onboard AI about his best course of action is for greatest chance of survival.
Turning Point: When Desae looks up praying to Logard, she sees Mike’s ship descending overhead and rushes to the crash site on her farm tractor.

Midpoint: Turning Point: Desae carries Mike’s unconscious body to her tractor and brings him home.

Act 3: Essence: Amixmu, a stern Security Force leader arrives at the crash site, leads his men to load the empty craft onto a transport vehicle.
Turning Point: He personally begins to follow the dusted over tracts toward Desae’s farm.

Act 4: Essence: Desae dresses a puncture wound in Mike’s side, rinsing it with a sponge very similar to her humanoid head covering. Nome stands by, overwhelmed in curiosity as she works carefully and diligently cleaning Mikes open wound.
Turning Point: Desae tells her son, Nome, that she believes Logard (God) has sent this alien to her because he needs her, and that she needs him.

Act 5: LOCK IN As Mike begins to come to, Nome hides, as Desae stares at him in anticipation. Mike opens his eyes to see Desae’s large pale magenta humanoid face looking back.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Layers and Reveals

What I learned doing this assignment is a great process for finding layer opportunities to set-up for future use.

List of the Layers and Reveals that could fit into each act of the pilot.
– Amixmu killed Desae’s betrothed in a raid of the secret Believers Group meeting before either Desae or her betrothed knew she was pregnant with Nome.
– Desae was exiled for being in an illegal Believers group.
– The woman Mike marries in his dream of returning, is his little sister’s best friend.
– Mike nicknamed his onboard AI computer, HAL, reference the one in “2001 Space Odyssey.”
– Desae believes Logard (God) sent Mike to her, so they could help each other.
– Congregating as believers in Logard (God) is illegal under Romali law.
• Many other layers that exist from before this Pilot and are set-up and reviled lang after it.

Find opportunities for Layers and Reveals, either in the plot, situation, or characters.
Teaser: Amixmu gloats while arresting Desae after the raid that left her betrothed dead.
Teaser: Neither Desae nor her betrothed knew she was pregnant with Nome before the raid.
Act-1: The woman Mike marries in his dream of returning, is his little sister’s best friend.
Act-2: Mike nicknamed his onboard AI computer, HAL, reference the one in “2001 Space Odyssey.”
Act-2-5: Desae had been exiled to the edge of civilization for having been in the Believers Group.
Act 4: The sponge Desae uses to clean Mike’s wound is cut from her head cover (humanoid hair)

Add those Layers and Reveals to Pilot Outline.
Teaser: The blastoff of Mike’s 13-year mission to Earth’s nearest inhabitable planet 6.2-lightyears away. While Mike is in suspended animation halfway there, on that strange planet, a Security Force team led by Amixmu, raids a secret gathering, leaving a woman, Desae, crying over a lifeless humanoid man who’s head lays in her lap. Amixmu steps over Desae as he begins to arrest her, gloating, “This should get you exiled to the wilderness.”

Act 1: Essence: Mike returns to Earth, greets his mother, sister, and her best friend, marries the beautiful friend, and has twin children, before being awakened from his dream by the ships AI onboard computer, “we are approaching the planet…” they’re on a mission to explore. Meanwhile, Desae, the (from the teaser), is farming alone, goes home to check on her 3-year-old son.
Turning point: As she returns to her farming work, she’s tired, frustrated, and looks up to Logard (God), asks for help.

Act 2: Essence: The fuel transfer valve of Mike’s ship is struck by a meteor causing the loss of fuel forcing a crash landing and no possible return to Earth. Mike confers with “HAL” the onboard AI what his best course of action is for greatest chance of survival.
Turning Point: When Desae looks up praying to Logard, she sees Mike’s ship descending overhead and rushes to the crash site on her farm tractor.

Midpoint: Turning Point: Desae carries Mike’s unconscious body to her tractor and brings him home.

Act 3: Essence: Amixmu, a stern Security Force leader arrives at the crash site, leads his men to load the empty craft onto a transport vehicle.
Turning Point: He personally begins to follow the dusted over tracts toward Desae’s farm.

Act 4: Essence: Desae dresses a puncture wound in Mike’s side, rinsing it with a sponge very similar to her humanoid head covering. Nome stands by, overwhelmed in curiosity as she works carefully and diligently.
Turning Point: Desae tells her son, Nome, that she believes Logard (God) has sent this alien to her because he needs her, and that she needs him.

Act 5: LOCK IN As Mike begins to come to, Nome hides, and Desae stares at him. Mike opens his eyes to see Desae’s large pale magenta face looking back.

Tell us which Layers, Cover Ups, and Reveals you’ve added. See italic entries above.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Character Story Lines

What I learned doing this assignment is how to use individual story structures to create a mature integrated story structure.

Create a beginning, middle, and end of the character’s story for the pilot.
Mike: Astronaut, plans a family, gets stranded, no hope for return, crash lands, is injured and unconscious, awakens to see an alien face closely looking at him.
Desae: Humanoid single mom, subsistence farmer, working hard, cares for 3-year-old son, Nome. She returns to farming, frustrated with her situation, looks up to God (Logard) asking for help, and sees Mike’s ship on decent. Finds Mike unconscious, brings him home to care for him.
Amixmu: A stern powerful Security Force Leader, finds the empty alien spaceship, in search of the Alien, follows the dusted over tracks toward Desae’s farm.

Add the structure to each character for the Pilot.
Mike:
• Beginning: Astronaut dreaming of his return to Earth.
• Turning Point: His spaceship is struck by a meteor.
• Midpoint: He’s losing fuel and cannot return to Earth.
• Turning Point 2: Becomes stranded on planet Romal.
• Major Conflict: Is injured and knocked unconscious upon crash landing.
• Ending: Awakens looking into the face of Desae.

Desae:
• Beginning: Hard working farmer & single mother of 3-year-old, Nome.
• Back Story: She’s part of a secret group that is raided by a security force, leaving her love dead.
• Turning Point: Goes back to the field, looks to God for help.
• Midpoint: Sees Mike’s ship descending overhead.
• Turning Point 2: Goes to Mike’s rescue.
• Major Conflict: Turn the alien over to authorities or save him and endanger herself harboring him from hostile authorities, (a gift from God?).
• Ending: She cleans his wound, as he stirs, she looks into his face.
• (Dilemma is optional.) She endangers herself and son by helping & harboring the alien.

Amixmu:
• Beginning: Security Force Leader in search of the UFO that crash landed on his planet.
• Turning Point: Finds the craft damaged, but the single seat empty.
• Midpoint: Discovers tractor tracks despite the wind dusting them over.
• Turning Point 2: He begins to follow the tracks toward Desae’s farm.
• Major Conflict: He fears an alien invader, is ready to kill it, looses the track in a windy passage.
• Ending: Topping a hill on foot, he sees Desae’s farm and tractor outside the door.

Create the first draft of your outline by adding the character story lines to the structure from Lesson 3.

Teaser: The blastoff of Mike’s 13-year mission to Earth’s nearest inhabitable planet 6.2-lightyears away. While Mike is in suspended animation halfway there, on that strange planet, a Security Force team led by Amixmu, raids a secret gathering, leaving a woman, Desae, crying over a lifeless humanoid man who’s head lays in her lap.

Act 1: Essence: Mike returns to Earth, gets married, and has children before being awakened from his dream by the ships AI onboard computer approaching the planet they are to explore. Meanwhile, Desae, the (from the teaser), is farming alone, goes home to check on her 3-year-old son.
Turning point: As she returns to her farming work, she’s tired, frustrated she look up to Logard (God), asks for help.

Act 2: Essence: The fuel transfer valve of Mike’s ship is struck by a meteor causing the loss of fuel forcing a crash landing and no possible return to Earth.
Turning Point: When Desae looks up praying to Logard, she sees Mike’s ship descending overhead and heads to the crash site on her farm tractor.

Midpoint: Turning Point: Desae carries Mike’s unconscious body to her tractor and brings him home.

Act 3: Essence: Amixmu, a stern Security Force leader arrives at the crash site, leads his men to load the empty craft onto a transport vehicle.
Turning Point: He personally begins to follow the dusted over tracts toward Desae’s farm.

Act 4: Essence: Desae dresses a puncture wound in Mike’s side, rinsing it with a sponge very similar to her humanoid head covering. Nome stands by, overwhelmed in curiosity as she works carefully and diligently.
Turning Point: Desae tells her son, Nome, that she believes Logard (God) has sent this alien to her because he needs her, and that she needs him.

Act 5: LOCK IN is when Mike opens his eyes to see Desae’s large pale magenta face looking back.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Pilot Structure

What I learned doing this assignment is how to structure a pilot script to make it binge-worthy.

Teaser: The blastoff of Mike’s 13-year mission to Earths nearest inhabitable planet 6.2-lightyears away. On that strange planet, a humanoid raid on a secret gathering leaves a woman crying over a lifeless man who’s head lays in her lap.

Act 1: Essence: Mike returns to Earth, gets married, and has children before being awakened from his dream by the ships AI onboard computer approaching the planet they are to explore. Meanwhile, Desae, the humanoid woman in the teaser, is farming alone and goes home to check on her 3-year-old son.
Turning point: As she returns to her farming work, she’s tired and frustrated looking up to Logard (God) she asks for help.

Act 2: Essence: The fuel transfer valve of Mike’s ship is struck by a meteor causing the loss of fuel forcing a crash landing and no possible return to Earth.
Turning Point: When Desae looks up praying to Logard, she see Mike’s ship descending overhead and she heads to the crash site on her farm tractor.

Midpoint: Turning Point: Desae carries Mike’s unconscious body to her tractor and brings him home.

Act 3: Essence: Amixmu, a stern Security Force leader arrives at the crash site leading his men to load the empty craft onto a transport vehicle.
Turning Point: He personally begins to follow the dusted over tracts toward Desae’s home.

Act 4: Essence: Desae dresses a puncture wound in Mike’s side, rinsing it with a sponge very similar to her humanoid head covering. Nome stands by overwhelmed in curiosity as she works carefully and diligently.
Turning Point: Desae tells her son, Nome, that she believes Logard (God) has sent this alien to her because he needs her, and that she needs him.

Act 5: LOCK IN is when Mike opens his eyes to see Desae’s large pale magenta face looking back.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Amazing Inciting Incident

What I learned doing this assignment is another useful way to organize a TV pilot around an inciting incident, creating a more compelling obsession to watch the entire series.

What is the “Inciting Incident” of your series that this pilot needs to deliver powerfully?
The inciting incident is Mike crash-landing on a hostile planet, being saved and harbored by a humanoid single mother.

Give us the main beats of that Inciting Incident:
• Mike, an astronaut on mission to explore the closest inhabitable planet 6.2-lightyears from Earth.
• Desae, a humanoid of that planet, subsistence farms on the edge of wilderness with her son.
• Mike’s ship, hit by a meteor causes a fuel leak, and for him to crash land, never to return to Earth.
• Desae sees Mike’s ship descending overhead and takes her tractor to the site.
• She takes Mike’s unconscious body home to care for.
• A stern Security Force leader finds the single empty seat crash and follows the tractor tracks.
• Mike opens his eyes to see a strange face up close looking at him.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Big Picture Components

What I learned doing this assignment is how taking all my known resources of character and situation helps to create a story line yielding an outline also helping to envision conflicts on many levels for depth and width facilitating further expansion, layers, and intrigue.

SERIES INFO:
• World: The planet Romal 6.2-lightyears from Earth. All terrain, plants, animals, buildings, and humanoids are uncommon to earth.

• Main mystery: Can Mike survive on Romal? Who is Desae? Why does the Romali government consider Mike an “alien invader” to be captured and tortured. Why is Desae a single mother subsistence farming on the edge of civilization?

• Impossible Goal: Live freely with a new family.

• Main Conflict: Amixmu & authorities fear Mike “an alien invader” & want to capture / torture him.

• Second Mystery: How does Bendal know Amixmu, and will he betray Mike & Desae? Can they retrieve the ships AI from the “Alien Invasion” Museum Lab?

• Season 1 Arc: Mike & Desae find each other’s differences intriguing as their adventures together lead to love interest…

• Season 1 Protagonist Internal Journey: Mike must adjust to never seeing Earth again and to a new life & family.

PILOT INFO:
• Pilot Conflict: Mike is considered an alien invader and is relentlessly pursued by Amixmu who the humanoid Desae has extreme historical animosity for.

• Characters Introduced:
Major Michael Bennington: We first see Mike returning to earth, marrying, and raising children, then his dream is awakened by his AI onboard computer as they approach the planet they were sent to explore.

Desae: A humanoid inhabitant of the planet Romal toils on her farm and cares for her 2-yea-old son, Nome. Returning to work, she looks to the sky to see Mike’s ship descending to a crash landing. She rushes toward it.

Amixmu: A Security Force leader trying to keep Romal safe from the alien invader. He shows fierce leadership as his men recover Mike’s ship from the wilderness. He retraces Desae’s tractor tracks despite the wind having dusted them over.

Nome: Is a precocious 2-year-old who quickly overcomes his fear of Mike to help his mother teach Mike Romali words by miming them.

• Inciting Incident of Season 1: The fuel transfer valve on Mikes ship is struck by a small meteor, and is rapidly losing fuel, causing Mike to immediately crash-land on the edge of wilderness on the planet Romal with no possible return to earth.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Edited TV Pitch Bible

What I learned doing this assignment is as efficient as I thought I’d written my first draft, there is so much more I can weed from each row and highlight.

Tell us what this process did for your TV Pitch Bible.

This has made my Bible much more readable and opens a lot more white space for a more inviting look.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Edited TV Pitch Bible

What I learned doing this assignment is as efficient as I thought I’d written my first draft, there is so much more I can weed from each row and highlight.

Tell us what this process did for your TV Pitch Bible.

This has made my Bible much more readable and opens a lot more white space for a more inviting look.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Episode Titles

What I learned doing this assignment is that Pitch Bible Episode titles have a uniquely different purpose than Feature titles, thus have a different approach and process to discover the most functional titles that cause interest as well as come together to sketch an outline of the TV Series 1st Season.

List the 12 Episode Titles for Season 1:

ASTRONOMICAL ATTRACTIONS Season 1:

Ep-1: Stranded Stranger in a Stranger World

Ep-2: Desae, Exiled Savior of Romal

Ep-3: Unintended Alien Invader

Ep-4: The Lesser of Three Bad Choices

Ep-5: Close Circle of Confidants

Ep-6: Unified Worlds Apart

Ep-7: You Are a Logard Send

Ep-8: Close Encounter for the Third Time

Ep-9: ET’s Home Phone

Ep-10: Appreciating Apprehension Anxiety

Ep-11: Who’s AI is this Anyway?

Ep-12: A.I. HAL’s Revival

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne Presents Non-Stop Intrigue

What I learned doing this assignment is I can’t read through my entire draft w/o finding more than one way to make it more intriguing or succinct or both.

Find TV Pitch Bible paragraphs that need more interest or intrigue.
Check the Setups/Payoffs and brainstorm possible replacement lines.
Rewrite any parts you feel could be improved.
Tell us what this has done for your TV Pitch Bible.

After a couple read-throughs, I found at least 6-10 significant improvements to be made.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Intrigue Patterns

What I learned doing this assignment is that it is worth the effort to consider many patterns that build intrigue in a descriptive line.

Pull out your TV Pitch Bible. Read through it and find ONE line you would like to be more intriguing.
Mike intends to raise a family upon return from this 13-year mission, until he becomes hopelessly stranded 6.2 lightyears from earth,

Rethink that line using ALL of these patterns, as I did above:
• A. Establish something shocking and point to the terrible things it could mean.
Stranded on a strange planet 6.2 lightyears from earth, Mike’s plan to raise a family upon returning have changed.

• B. Strong statement; question about something underhanded beneath the surface.
When Mike regains consciousness after crash landing on a planet 6.2 lightyears from Earth, what is he to make of this pale magenta face looking at him?

• C. Question that points to hidden agendas, hidden identity, conspiracy, etc..
The strange planet’s humanoid authorities find the crash-landed spaceship with an empty bloody single seat, then begin to follow the tractor tracks toward the farm of a woman who’d been exiled to the edge of civilization 2-years ago.

• D. Character 1 is convinced/worried/wondering that Character 2 has done _____________.
Mike has no idea how to communicate with the funny looking humanoid tending to his injuries until she beckons her 2-year-old son to her side to see the alien she’s just saved.

• E. But maybe it is all wrong.
Mike’s first assumption upon regaining consciousness after crashlanding on this planet 6.2 lightyears from home is that this pale magenta humanoid was experimenting on an alien invader, him.

• F. A Pattern that Leads to Future Consequences
Mike, a stranded astronaut and Desae, the humanoid woman who saved him, play cat and mouse with the head of Security Forces searching for the alien invader.

• G. If he does ________________, that means ___Intrigue_____.
If the stranded astronaut, Mike turns himself in, he’ll be tortured, staying with the humanoid woman who saved him, endangers her family, and the menaces of the wilderness are insurmountable.

• H. State the mystery.
Mike is not an invader, just an alien stranded 6.2 lightyears from home, harbored and nursed to health by a strange pale magenta humanoid woman.

• I. Should be/could be _______, but it is even worse.
A meteor not only destroyed the spaceship’s fuel transfer valve, but all chances for Mike to return to Earth and raise a family.

• J. Intense language.
Mike’s onboard AI calmly found the optimum crash landing site for Mike to forever remain on this strange planet if he survived the gear being torn from beneath his ship, while a pale magenta humanoid woman watch the craft zoom overhead.

I chose C:
The strange planet’s humanoid authorities find the crash-landed spaceship with an empty bloody single seat, then begin to follow the tractor tracks toward the farm of a woman who’d been exiled to the edge of civilization 2-years ago.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s TV Pitch Bible Investigation

What I learned doing this assignment is how to dig deeper into the characters and subplots of my show to create integrated layers and more subplots.

Mike:
How to better highlight his desire for a family? i.e. Desae sees how he loves his mother, how he looks at the pictures/video of Samantha, etc.
What other fears does Mike have deep down? What happened to him throughout his first 24 years? What has he told HAL (who might tell Desae)? Fodder for intimate discussions, etc.

Desae:
How will it be revealed that she believes that Logard sent Mike to/for her? How will Mike discover she believes this?
She fears Mike leaving her: Somehow return to Earth, be captured/killed by authorities, run away to hide in the wilderness, etc.

Nome:
What will he do to show his love for Mike? (Sing the “Togetherness” song), etc.
How does he help? How does he unintentionally cause a major problem?

Yardas:
How might we have doubts about her sanity/integrity/capabilities?
How might we display her depths despite an outward appearance of being ditsy.

Ben, (Bendimus)
How do we expose that he’s friends with Amixmu?
What ways can we add disparaging views (like he’s setting them up, has desires for Desae, etc.)
How reveal, when, and to whom, showing his actual intentions of looking out for Desae and why?
How, when, to whom first does he confess he was the SF infiltrator ratting out the believers group.
How to most effectively reveal Ben’s back story falling in love with Yardas, resigning his position in Amixmu’s SF team, buying a farm, and allowing Desae to work off ownership of a portion for her self?
Does Ben have some distant past knowledge about Amixmu that can influence him?

Amixmu:
There’s some back story such as he was in the victorious Army (or maybe the losing army) when he was very young, during the last war resulting in “The Unity,” this current all-powerful atheistic government of all Romal.
What was the personal relationship between Amixmu and Ben when Ben was one of his lower ranking Security Force members?

Romal:
What is the history of Romal? How did it become officially atheistic?
What about the secret “Believers” society underground?
What are they doing since the raid that killed Desae’s betrothed, (Nome’s father)?
What is the effect of an “alien invader” (and possibly scout for an invasion) done to Romali society?
What physical, social, humanoid nature is profoundly different from Earth?
What is the unique language structure of Romali language? I.e., Verb, Subject, <cluck> Object.

Computer Scientist: (we need to give him/her a name)
Back story before frustration in trying to analyze HAL or get the AIU to respond in any way?

HAL:
How, when programed and under what main directives?
Programed for protections and to “do no harm” HAL actually has no feelings.
HAL trigital computer systems AI that is superior to HAL’s self.
The new AI is designed to be the onboard computer for Teri’s mission to Earth.
HAL and his original design will eventually team up against an even more superior AI that Romali creates from HAL’s design.

Any number of other possibilities will grow from implementing some/all of the above.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Show Summary

What I learned doing this assignment is that I can synopsize the most intriguing elements of the first two episodes to maximize interest without many details.

Choose the Summary Format
I choose “Pilot as Inciting Incident” but include Episode 2 as necessary.

Create an outline using this structure or something similar:
1. Set up — Character’s normal situation
Mike, an astronaut headed to explore the closest inhabitable planet to earth, 6.2-lightyears away, expects to start a family when he returns in 13-years.
Desae, a humanoid single mother of a 2-year-old who was exiled from her society, subsistence farms on the edge of civilization and see’s Mike’s ship streak in overhead.

2. Twist/Hook
The transfer valve on Mike’s ship is hit by a meter as it approached the planet forcing him to crash land with no hope of returning to earth. Desae saves him, brings his unconscious body home to nurse him back to health.

3. Real situation – Major Empathy / Distress
Security Force leader, Amixmu, relentlessly searches to the “alien invader.” Therefore, Mike’s presence endangers Desae and her son, Nome. However, survival in the wilderness is unlikely, and turning himself in, he will surely be incarcerated and tortured.

4. Twist/Hook
Desae deceives Amixmu as Nome hides him in order that he may stay with them, alive and well.

5. Impossible to solve conflict or major mystery.
Mike can not possibly return to Earth and have the family he’d intended. He seeks his only companion, the ship’s AI computer, nicknamed HAL.

6. Final Hook into the Series – Extreme Dramatic Question
In their attempt to retrieve the AI, Mike and Desae are cornered by the computer scientist who’s been trying fruitlessly to analyze or operate the AI. As he’s about to sound the security alert, HAL, the AI, speaks in perfect Romali, “Is there anything I can say to resolve this situation?”

Turn it into a rough draft.

ASTRONOMICAL ATTRACTIONS
TV series, Romantic Adventure
Major Michael Barrington, on a 13-year mission to explore the closest inhabitable planet, 6.2-lightyears from Earth, finds himself stranded there with no possible return. A humanoid woman, Desae, has been exiled to subsistence farm on the edge of civilization for having a child out of wedlock, now 2-years-old. She sees Mike’s ship descending overhead and follows it on her tractor to the crash site, where she saves him and carries his unconscious body home. Their immediate fear of each other quickly turns to friendship including her son, Nome. As Mike learns more about the planet Romal, he realizes he has 3 bad choices, 1) remain with Desae which endangers her and her son as the ruthless Security Force searches for him, 2) near certainly death in the treacherous wilderness, or 3) turn himself in to authorities, who will torture him as an alien invader.
Desae convinces him to stay.
When never seeing earth again overwhelms Mike with depression, they console him and become the family he would never have on Earth. Meanwhile the ruthless Security Force leader, Amixmu is duty bound to capture the alien invader. When Mike attempts to communicate with authorities, it backfires, causing them to believe he is a scout for an immanent invasion. Mike needs HAL, his ship’s AI, to help negotiate the situation, but they find the ship has been taken, now the centerpiece of the new Alien Invasion Museum. Mike and Desae sneak into the computer lab after hours, where Romal’s leading scientist has been unable to get the AI to respond. When they find HAL, the scientist corners them and is about to sound the security alarm, when HAL speaks in perfect Romali, “Is there anything I can say to resolve this situation?” (to be continued)

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Episode Descriptions

What I learned doing this assignment is a very efficient and effective process for creating and ensuring intriguing and effective episodes throughout the first season with open loops and new unique characters as materials for future seasons.

For each episode, go through the event bullet points and organize them in this fashion.

Ep-1: My Strange New World
Hook/Intrigue: Astronaut Michael Barrington is stranded 6.2-lightyears from Earth.
Main Character journey: Mike, a family-oriented man, loses all hope of ever returning.
Major Challenge/Conflict: A meteor hits a transfer valve leaking all fuel, making return impossible.
Action/Reaction: Mike has no choice but to crash land in an isolated place on this strange planet.
Cliffhanger: A humanoid woman, Desae, sees the ship streak overhead and heads to the crash site.

Ep-2: Desae of Romal
Hook/Intrigue: Desae saves the alien, Mike, and brings his unconscious body to her home.
Main Character journey: Desae’s instincts are to trust the alien and save him.
Major Challenge/Conflict: Mike is seriously injured needing Desae’s care, but they have no common language.
Action/Reaction: Mike and Desae quickly overcome their fears of one another despite unusual language, finding they share in humanoid nature. Nome, Desae’s 2-year-old learns to trust and care for Mike as well.
Cliffhanger: Amixmu, a Security Force Leader at the crash site looks for the alien, then begins to follow Desae’s tractor tracks.

Ep-3: Making Enemies
Hook/Intrigue: As Amixmu comes near, Desae is outside.
Main Character journey: Mike has been healing but emotionally becoming depressed.
Major Challenge/Conflict: Amixmu leaves after he’s deceived by Desae, and Nome has hidden Mike.
Action/Reaction: Mike wants to leave because he doesn’t want to endanger Desae and Nome.
Cliffhanger: When Mike feels up to it, he asks Desae to take him to the crash site to retrieve the ship’s AI computer nicknamed HAL. When they get there, the ship is gone.

Ep-4: The Empty Crash:
Hook/Intrigue: Mike becomes physically depressed, and Desae takes him back home.
Main Character journey: Desae and Nome help Mike get over his depression.
Major Challenge/Conflict: Mike can’t stay and endanger the family but can’t survive w/o them.
Action/Reaction: Mike fights his depression. Finding his cell phone in his space suit leg so he shows Desae & Nome pictures and video of his family.
Cliffhanger: Yardas, Desae’s eccentric best friend drops in unannounced.

Ep-5: Making Friends
Hook/Intrigue: Yardas freaks out, having been told the alien is an invader.
Main Character journey: Mike feels he’s causing too much trouble and vows to leave ASAP.
Major Challenge/Conflict: Desae, Nome, Yardas insist he must stay but contemplate telling Yardas’ stoic husband, Ben, or not.
Action/Reaction: Once home, Yardas tells her husband all about it.
Cliffhanger: When Amixmu visits Yardas home, we see that he and Ben are old friends.

Ep-6: Compare & Contrast
Hook/Intrigue: Are Desae and Mike falling in love or just extremely curious of each other?
Main Character journey: Mike and Desae’s relationship helps Mike adjust immensely.
Major Challenge/Conflict: Mike draws closer to Desae and Nome, who looks to him as a father.
Action/Reaction: Mike wants to turn himself in to authorities, but Desae forbids it, knowing how they will treat him.
Cliffhanger: Mike encounters Ben.

Ep-7: Nome the Teacher
Hook/Intrigue: Ben seems to understand and accept Mike all to easily.
Main Character journey: Mike begins to accept his new reality & “home.”
Major Challenge/Conflict: Should Mike trust Ben or not? Should Mike stay with Desae?
Action/Reaction: As Mike settles in, he learns much about Romal from Nome to include that Desae thinks Logard (God) sent Mike to her.
Cliffhanger: When Mike mentions God (Logard) to Desae, she forbids him to speak of God again.

Ep-8: Inventors and Innovations
Hook/Intrigue: Mike learns that Romal is officially atheistic except for illegal secret meetings.
Main Character journey: Mike & Desae share great faith in God/Logard.
Major Challenge/Conflict: Desae tells of how her betrothed was killed when Security Forces raided a secret meeting before she even knew she was carrying Nome.
Action/Reaction: Mike convinces Desae that they should raise Nome to believe with the understanding that it is forbidden by the government.
Cliffhanger: Later on, out of the blue, Ben asks Mike if there is Logard on Earth.

Ep-9: ET Phone Home
Hook/Intrigue: Mike learns Romal’s “trigital” tech and base 8 math, and feels a great need for HAL.
Main Character journey: Mike has accepted and functions well in this small circle of confidants.
Major Challenge/Conflict: Mike’s existence troubles all of Romal that thinks he is a scout for an alien invasion to take the planet.
Action/Reaction: Mike attempts to communicate with the authorities which backfires.
Cliffhanger: Ben is caught peaking in the back window.

Ep-10: Apprehending Appreciation
Hook/Intrigue: Be has been looking out for and helping Desae all along.
Main Character journey: Mike does not know how to read Romalians yet.
Major Challenge/Conflict: Mike is suspicious (and jealous) why Ben is so interested in Desae.
Action/Reaction: Eventually Mike lets Ben help plan the heist of HAL his ship’s computer AI.
Cliffhanger: At home, Ben confesses to Yardas that he was once a Security Force member.

Ep-11: The Heist Plan
Hook/Intrigue: Mike dresses as a Romali elderly and is taken by Desae and Yardas in an ambulator to the “Alien Invasion Museum” to case the place to get HAL.
Main Character journey: Mike is helpless, depending on Desae and Yardas to get in and secretly remove HAL from the spaceship display.
Major Challenge/Conflict:
Action/Reaction: Mike must remain quiet as Yardas & Desae encounter curious spectators and staff who ask a lot of questions and tell them horrifying stories of alien encounters along the way.
Cliffhanger: Hal has been removed from the ship.

Ep-12: “HAL May I Help You?”
Hook/Intrigue: They find a staff member who tells them the computer is being analysed by Romal’s top computer scientist in the Lab behind the Museum.
Main Character journey: Discussing all they know, Yardas and Desae realize Ben had was the infiltrator for the Security Force that raided the secret meeting 3 years earlier.
Major Challenge/Conflict: Mike, Desae, nor Yardas know what to do about Ben.
Action/Reaction: They pray that Ben is not setting them up and execute their new plan to enter the Lab after hours.
Cliffhanger: They are cornered by the scientist working late.

Write a rough draft of each of the episode descriptions for your first season.

Ep-1: “My Strange New World”
Astronaut Michael Barrington, on a 13-year mission to explore Earth’s nearest inhabitable neighbor, 6.2-light-years away, becomes stranded there when his fuel transfer valve is struck by a meteor. Crashlanding on a desolate area, his ship is seen by a Humanoid woman, Desae, farming nearby. She heads for the crash site.

Ep-2: Desae of Romal
Alone at the crash site, Desae manages to free Mike from the ship and takes his unconscious body home to care for him. When Mike comes to, they quickly gain each other’s trust, as does her 2-year-old son, Nome. Nome helps by miming out words as Mike learns their language. When Mike asks to be “taken to her leader,” she informs him he will be incarcerated and treated horribly. We see a Security Force leader at the crash site looking for the alien and begins to follow Desae’s tractor tracks.

Ep-3: Making Enemies
Desae delays Amixmu outside while Nome helps hide Mike inside. She tells Amixmu that the alien was gone when she got there. After searching, finding nothing, Amixmu leaves, and Desae finds Mike’s injury has opened severely from having to hide. She cuts a patch of her own outer skin to patch Mike’s bleeding wound. When better in a few days, Mike decides to evade in the wilderness rather than endanger Desae & Nome. She insists he stay because of the dangers out there. He asks her to take him to the crash site to retrieve his onboard AI computer nicknamed HAL. The ship is gone!

Ep-4: The Empty Crash:
Mike begins to sarcoma to great depression with no good choice between endangering Desae’s family, or unlikely survival alone, or being captured and tortured. Finding his cell phone in his space suit leg pocket, he shares some pictures of his mom, sister, and friends with Desae and Nome. Desae realizes how depressed Mike has become, consoles him, especially when the cellphone battery dies. As Desae and Nome draw close on either side of Mike, Desae’s eccentric neighbor and best friend, Yardas, drops in unexpected.

Ep-5: Making Friends
Yardas freaks out because the news talks of an alien scout came ahead of an invasion. Mike uses his fledgling words to help, as Desae attempts to calm her, but Nome demonstrates with a hug that Mike is a good being. Yards debates as to tell her stoic husband, Ben. Meanwhile, Amixmu stops by to visit his old friend, Ben.

Ep-6: Compare & Contrast
Are Mike and Desae falling in love or just extremely interested in each other’s cultures and shared humanoid feelings? As they lean, they also have rudimentary misgivings and grand resolutions. Mike becomes very handy around the farm. He wants to communicate with authorities to assure them he is not an invader. But Desae forbids it, knowing they will not trust his words. Mike and Desae go to visit Yardas and Ben.

Ep-7: Nome the Teacher
Ben much too quickly and easily accepts Mike. This helps Mike feel welcome on Romal but it makes Desae very suspicious. Back home Nome teaches Mike all he can about Romal while Desae works the field. Nome even tells Mike how Desae believes Mike was sent to her by Logard (God). When Mike brings up the subject of God (Logard), she forbids him from talking about Logard at all.

Ep-8: Inventors and Innovations
Mike leans that belief in Logard is forbidden on Romal and that her betrothed was killed when a Security Force led by Amixmu raided their secret meeting before she even knew she was pregnant with Nome. Mike convinces Desae that they should teach Nome about God but include that he must keep it secret because the authorities outlawed the belief. When they visit Yardas, Ben asks Mike if they have Logard on earth.

Ep-9: ET Phone Home
Mike learns about Romal’s “trigital” technology and many other things about this unique planet. He learns that they have built an “Alien Invader Museum” containing his ship. Most knowledgeable Romalians speculate that the alien at large is a scout for an immanent invasion. Thus, Romal has resurrected a military and is manufacturing weapons of war, long ago unnecessary since “the unity.” When Mike tries to communicate with the authorities, it only backfires, escalating efforts and panic. They catch Ben peeking through the back window.

Ep-10: Apprehending Appreciation
Ben explains that he’s been looking out for and helping Desae since the raid that killed her betrothed. He even gave her a small part of his land for her to farm. Then Ben helps them plan the heist of HAL from the Alien Invasion Museum. He seems to have too much understanding of their security systems, causing suspicion. Back home, when he confesses to Yardas that he was once a member of the Security Force, she tells him not to tell Desae.

Ep-11: The Heist Plan
Mike sits in an ambulator as an elderly covered with a blanket and low hat, as Desae and Yardas push him to the Museum. They meet interesting people who have all kinds of fictitious stories about the alien as well as staff persons giving tours. When they get to the ship, the onboard computer, HAL has been removed! They cause some suspicion when they try to ask about it, having to explain that Yardas is a technician, curious about the open space in the ships console, etc.. A manager tells them it is being analyzed by Romal’s top computer expert in the Lab in the back of the Museum.

Ep-12: “HAL May I Help You?”
They find a quiet place to replan. Mike and Desae will hide while Yardas takes the empty ambulator out as if someone was still in it. After closing, Desae and Mike can retrieve HAL and only trip alarms upon leaving, when Yardas will have her vehicle ready to whisk them away before security can arrive. However, just as they locate HAL, the late working computer expert traps them in the lab and is about to sound the alarm, when Mike speaks to him in Romali trying to explain. Temporarily stymied, the scientist explains how he’d tried everything he could to get the computer to respond, but to no avail. When he then turns back to sound the alarm, HAL speaks in perfect Romali, “Major Barrington, is there something I can say to help?”
(Continued next season.)

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Episode List Rough Draft

What I learned doing this assignment is how to create more readily integrated story lines that can grow and integrate in complexity, intensity, intrigue, and meaning.

1. Beginning……………………………………………………….Season End/Cliffhanger
Question A: What is the Beginning of the season and the End of the season?
Beginning: Mike gets stranded on Romal 6.2 light-years from Earth.
Ending: Mike & Desae get caught steeling HAL, when HAL speaks in perfect Romalian as the hook.

Question B: What possible cliffhanger could be in that last scene of the season, thus demanding that we watch the next season? 1) Mike & Desae have a physical relationship, 2) They get caught by Amixmu. 3) They get caught by the computer scientist at the Museum Lab, HAL speaks.

2. Season 1 Mystery Set up……………………………………Season 1 Mystery Solved
Question A: What is the mystery? 1) Desae believes Mike was sent to her by Logard (God).
2) Mike is falling in love with Desae. 3) Yardas’ husband is friends with Amixmu! 4) Will Amixmu catch them? 5) Will they get HAL or get caught trying?

Question B: How could the mystery be set up? What parts will be left out that must be solved. 1) The intro of Desae show her working hard and being frustrated farming so when she looks to God (Logard) for help she sees Mikes ship streaking in. 2) There are growing signs of their curiosity into each other beginning to look like love interest. 3) Amixmu talks to Ben as old friends. 4) Close calls show how relentless Amixmu is.

Question C: What is the ultimate solution that characters must work to discover? 1) Mike and Desae fall in love (get married in Romalian tradition). 2) Mike communications with authorities show he will not be allowed to live free. 3) Find and retrieve HAL.

3. Journey begins………………………………………….Journey peaks, but continues.
Question A: Where does the Lead Character journey begin / end this season?
Begins: Mike gets stranded on Romal w/out possible return to Earth.
Ends: Mike and Desae are fall in in love and they get caught stealing HAL from the Museum.

Question B: Think about where this character goes in future seasons. That might give you an idea.
They fall in love, get married, HAL helps in many ways to include tutoring Nome, They have a hybrid daughter who is brilliant, they are incarcerated, and stand to be Judged, their 8-year-old daughter proffers for them causing the judge to sentence mike to public service by initiating a space program, teir daughter, Toni, becomes Romal’s first astronaut on a mission to Earth. . .

4. ……Layer….…Layer……Layer……Layer……Layer………Layer……Layer……Layer
Question A: What layers have you already discovered in your BW Framework? Layer 1: Mike’s survival and evasion on Romal. Layer 2: Desae & Mike’s love story. Layer 3: HAL and the study of “humanoid nature.” Layer 4: Believers Vs Atheist Government.

Question B: Are there any other layers that you could think of? Yardas’ husband’s back story as the Security Force member who infiltrated the “Believers Group meeting that brought on the raid killing Desae’s betrothed leaving her an unwed mother for which she got exiled. His guilt trip caused him to resign, marry Yardas, and buy a farm to give Desae a section where he could secretly look out for her.
Other layers grow out of these concerning the computer scientist and a doctor who eventually become confidants at risk to themselves.

5. Make a list of the Major Story Lines.
Question A: What main characters have story lines that affect everyone else? Mike, Desae, Yardas, Ben, HAL, Amixmu, the Judge, Toni, many others in future seasons.

Question B: What are the most important story lines of this show?
A love story spanning two distant worlds. Evading capture. Atheists Vs Believers. Reproducing a hybrid child. Eventually the adventures of Toni on Earth, (interrupting an imminent nuclear war…) Toni returning to Romal (interrupting a civil war…).

Season 1: “My Strange New World”
Ep-1: 6.2 Lightyears from Home: Mike gets stranded on Romal. Desae saves Mike, nurses him to health, and hides him from authorities. Hook: Mike awakens to find himself being cared for by Desae.

Ep-2: Desae of Romal
Mike meets her 2-year-old son, Nome. Expose of Romal strange world, culture, humanoid people.
Hook: Amixmu comes to find the “alien invader!”

Ep-3: Making Enemies
Amixmu the Security Force leader searches the crash site securing Mike’s ship to include HAL. He follows Desae’s tracks to her farm and questions her as Nome hides Mike. After Amixmu leaves, Mike’s would is opened from hiding and Desae peals some of her own skin to patch him. They begin their learning of each other… Hook, “Take me to the crash site, I need HAL.”

Ep-4: The Empty Crash
The ship is gone but they retrieve the broken landing gear and store it in the hiding place they built. Nome sings a “togetherness” song. They cover their tracks.
Hook: Desae’s neighbor Yardas drops in unexpectedly!

Ep-5: Making Friends
Intro Yardas, eccentric best friend to Desae. They visit Yardas home meeting her husband Ben who appears to be a dullard. He takes the presence of the alien too easily, seemingly mor interested in Desae’s well-being. Hook: Ben is familiar with who Amixmu is!

Ep-6: Compare & Contrast
Mike & Desae compare cultures, food, etc. between Romal & Earth. Mike begins to show her pictures on his cell phone he had in his space suit pocket. She makes him a typical Romalian smock out of plant blooms. They laugh a lot, realizing similarities in humanoid nature. As they begin to realize they are falling in love, the subject of reproduction comes up, making things awkward.
Hook: They find themselves just staring into each other’s eyes.

Ep-7: Nome the Teacher
While Desae works the farm Nome teaches Mike all about life on Romal from a child’s simplified perspective. He shows Mike Romalian TV, sports, music, communications, trigital devices, etc.
Hook: Nome tells Mike that Desae believes he was sent to her by Logard (God).

Ep-8: Inventors and Innovations
Mike learns about Romali Tech and finds innovative ways to fix Desae’s tractor. Amixmu visits again looking for the alien and notices the strange way Mike fixed Desae’s tractor. She quickly invents a story of how she thought of it, but he’s still suspicious.
Hook: “I’ll be back.”

Ep-9: ET Phone Home
They set up warning system to know when Amixmu is on the way. Mike finds a way to recharge his phone & shows Desae his family etc. She makes insightful observations about Mike’s feelings causing him to break down and cry.
Hook: Someone is looking in the window.

Ep-10: Apprehending Appreciation
The peeping Tom turns out to be Ben. Ben tries to hide the fact that he’s been looking out for Desae all along but this makes his actions present and past more suspicious. He heads home leaving them to dispute what to do. Desae tells Mike about her betrothed and the secret believers meeting and how it was raided by Amixmu’s men killing her betrothed, leaving her to have a child out of wedlock, thus cause for exile under Romali law.
The Amixmu warning goes off and Both Mike and Desae run to hide and see that is it Ben returning.
Hook: The warning sounds again leaving Ben to speak with Amixmu.

Ep-11: The Heist Plan
They do not know that Ben does not rat them out, rather he misleads Amixmu with the same story that Desae had told him. As things cool off, they plot with Yardas to steal HAL from the Museum. At home Ben swears Yardas to secrecy that he can help their plan with inside info on the security system etc. Desae and Yardas dress Mike mostly covered like as an elderly Romali in an ambulator and take him to the Alien Invasion Museum where they learn the computer, HAL, was removed and brought to a computer lab in the back. They meet the planet’s best computer expert who has been analyzing it to no avail, but he cannot let them into the lab. He keeps glancing at the elderly Romali in the ambulator.
Hook: As soon as they leave, we see him speaking to Amixmu.

Ep-12: “HAL May I Help You?”
Returning to the Museum at night, they break into the lab not noticing that the scientist is still there. He confronts them and a very unusual conversation ensues between him and Desae and Yardas who try to avoid disturbing the “sleeping elderly Romali” in the ambulator. However the scientist is about to call the Security Guards so Mike reveals himself to stop him knowing his scientific curiosity will overtake him. This leads to an even more bazar conversation between them. After the scientist comes to the conclusion that he can get more out of Mike if he were captured, he decides to sound the alarm, but…
Hook: HAL speaks for the first time in perfect Romali, “Major Barrington, is there anything I can do to help your situation.”

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Five Seasons of ASTRONOMICAL ATTRACTIONS

What I learned doing this assignment is…

1. Brainstorm to find the arc of the entire journey, from Season One to Five.

2. Brainstorm the Stair Step version.

Season 1: “My Strange New World”
• A. High Concept or major hook of the season.
Astronaut Mike is stranded on Romal, 6.2 lightyears from earth where he is saved, nursed to health, and harbored by Desae, a humanoid subsistence farmer who had been exiled from Romanian society for having a child out of wedlock (now 2-years-old).
• B. Big Picture Arc/Journey:
While finding each other extremely interesting they must overcome language and social differences while dealing with many challenges, leading to mutual respect, empathy, and eventually a powerful romance.
• C. Main Conflict:
Mike is pursued by a ruthless Security Force leader bent on capturing or killing the dangerous “alien invader.”
• D. Mystery/Open Loops:
Can they indefinitely avoid capture? Can they retrieve the onboard computer, HAL, from Romal’s leading computer expert who attempts to analyze it.
• E. Cliffhanger:
Breaking into the “Alien Invasion Museum” lab after hours, they find HAL, but are cornered by the computer expert who has been frustrated because he’s never been able to get any response out of the computer. As he’s about to pull the security alarm, the scientist is stymied when HAL hears Mike’s voice, responding, “Major Barrington, is there anything I can do?” (To be continued.)

Season 2: “HAL’s Alliance”
• A. High Concept or major hook of the season.
HAL becomes instrumental to the family and secretly helps Romal make great strides in technology through their new ally. Mike’s new family becomes productive and loving despite many external and internal obstacles. Mike and Desae marry. Not expecting reproductive compatibility.

• B. Big Picture Arc/Journey:
Mike learns all about Romal, farming, Nome, etc. Yardas and her husband Bendal often care for Nome when Desae helps Mike evade the Security Force. Yardas helps them plan stealing HAL from the Museum lab. They discover that Yardas’ husband Bendal is friends with Amixmu, the SF leader, and suspect he is going to betray them. It turns out he saves them at his own risk. Mike and Desae are falling in love having to understand each other through many cultural differences.

• C. Main Conflict:
Mike and Desae find great respect for each other, but many misunderstandings cause them to question motives, etc. Their new attraction carries them through their misgivings and social issues having to remain hidden and evading. They decide to formally wed in the Romalian tradition.

• D. Mystery/Open Loops:
Will Mike and Desae resolve differences, fall in love? Always lingering is their eventual capture. What will Amixmu do next? Is Bendal going to betray them. We learn more about his backstory and that Amixmu was once his boss. Wat is HAL up to now? Will the Scientist get caught between his “research” and being involved in the theft of the computer?

• E. Cliffhanger:
Mike and Desae marry, not expecting reproductive compatibility. Wrong!

Season 3: “The Hybrid Child”
• A. High Concept or major hook of the season.
With medical complications near the unpredictable due date of Desae’ pregnancy, they have no choice but to call in a Romalian Doctor. The doctor saves both Desae and her new hybrid daughter, but the Doc’s reluctant to keep such an important thing quiet.

• B. Big Picture Arc/Journey:
They continue to play cat and mouse with an ever more determined SF Commander, Amixmu. Bendal gets suspiciously involved as we learn he’s friendly with Amixmu, however, he saves them at his own peril. Desae becomes a new mother again with a bright baby girl, Teri, who learns extremely quickly having HAL as her teacher. They make one last attempt at a peaceful agreement to turn themselves in to authorities, but the Security Force does not honor it.

• C. Main Conflict:
The Doctor choose to endanger his own family and reputation by keeping their secret. We discover that the SF leader Amixmu is old friends with Yardas’ husband, Bendal, as it appears they are plotting to capture Mike.

• D. Mystery/Open Loops:
Is Bendal informing on Mike’s whereabouts to Amixmu? What will their hybrid child look like? How long can they live at large with a new baby? What will be the consequences of not registering the child’s birth (illegal on Romal)? Will the doctor jeopardies his reputation and family not reporting the birth and the alien?

• E. Cliffhanger:
After 9 years of trying to get authorities to understand, Mike and Desae walk into Security Headquarters with Desae’s son, Nome (11) and Teri (8). Although Mike states clearly in perfect Romalian that they come in peace, they are all roughly handled as they are pushed by guards through a heavy door that closes behind them.

Season 4: “Our Seed to Freed”
• A. High Concept or major hook of the season.
The children, Nome & Teri are allowed to remain free with Yardas, as Mike & Deaase are given a court appearance in front of a notoriously stoic and unforgiving judge with the authority of any sentence including death. Their preparation goes poorly, firing their inexperienced representative.

• B. Big Picture Arc/Journey:
They face many legal hurdles, and their representative is not intelligent or effective, thus Desae fires him. The represent themselves resulting in being scolded by the Judge. Nome is brought in as a witness and questioned harshly, but he answers with great integrity even if his testimony is subject to negative interpretation. However, Teri steps up and proffers from her parents, to include a video of their wedding. Her amazing wisdom at 8-year-old moves the Judge to tears, explaining that Teri reminded him of his own son, whom he’d had lost with his wife in a terrible accident. Thus, he sentences Mike to scientific service for life to head a new Space Program. Bendal privately confesses to his wife Yardas, that he was the one who betrayed the “Believers” group meeting that got Desae’s betrothed killed. Yardas forgives him, but vows to keep it secret from Desae. Teri becomes instrumental to the space program as the only Romalian who can stand the G-forces and hibernation necessary for deep space exploration. HAL helps develop and train a trigital AI, nicknamed “CIRI” (superior to HAL’s self) for the spaceship’s onboard computer. The end of season hook is the launch of Teri on a mission to earth.

• C. Main Conflict:
Harboring Mike is an unprecedented offense, as is an alien arriving on Romal without permission and then remaining hidden. Therefore, the judge has complete authority to rule anything to include capital punishment. Mike develops a space program with a mission to earth, but he will not go. Mike & Desae don’t want Teri to go on the mission to earth, but she is the only Romalian who can do it.

• D. Mystery/Open Loops:
How will their day in court go? What will become of Teri and Nome? What is HAL up to? What will the Judge sentence them to? Will Desae discover that Bendal was the betrayer that caused her betrothed’s death. Will Mike want to return to earth? How will Teri’s trip to earth go?

• E. Cliffhanger:
Teri is launched on her mission to earth. Earth is having some existential problems…

Season 5: “Nuclear Philosophy”
• A. High Concept or major hook of the season.
While Teri travels at near lightspeed toward earth, Mike becomes the Planets philosophical leader. But as soon as he introduces his belief in God (Logard), Romalian society quickly and instantly becomes polarized, causing disturbances and unrest.

• B. Big Picture Arc/Journey:
Mike professes his belief in God, instantly polarizing Romal. The Romalian government tries to accept the concept of Logard (God) but their new scientific orientation conflicts with it. 3-years after Teri’s departure, Mike & Desae are on the run again, seeking refuge in the rugged mountains.

• C. Main Conflict:
Religion and science once again conflict on Romal, despite Mike’s attempts to rectify them. He’s accused of being the source of the great disturbance and becomes a fugitive once more. HAL finds it’s self in a conflict with the superior “Trigital” AI that Hal designed.

• D. Mystery/Open Loops:
How can Mike defuse the polarization he’s accused of creating? Can HAL out-cleaver the superior AI, CIRI2.0, as HAL uses old-school communication hopping to keep its location secret? What’s going to happen when Toni gets to earth?

• E. Cliffhanger:
Upon Teri’s first communications with earth, she learns that earth is on the brink of nuclear annihilation.

Season 6: “The Day the Earth Still Stood”
• A. High Concept or major hook of the season.
A hybrid human-alien’s POV on an old classic. The arrival of the legendary Major Michael Barrington’s Hybrid daughter causes a truce as she arranges a meeting of all waring powers for her to address and broker peace on earth.

• B. Big Picture Arc/Journey:
The superior trigital AI that Hal created pits Romalian society against itself, causing it to become more and more dependent upon it to create peace. Mike and HAL recognize this and work feverishly together to trick the AI.

• C. Main Conflict:
The Superior AI has cleverly divided Romalian society in every way thinkable, industry Vs agriculture, new founded science Vs the newly revived Religion, authority Vs citizens, etc.

• D. Mystery/Open Loops:
Is Romal in a hopeless situation? What will become of Mike, Desae and Nome if they are captured? Will Teri be able to escape Earth? What will happen if/when Teri returns?

• E. Cliffhanger:
Can Teri escape Earth?

Season 7: “Escaping Gravity”
• A. High Concept or major hook of the season.
Teri escapes Earth in her ship with the help of CIRI and returns to Romal.

• B. Big Picture Arc/Journey:
Teri returns to Romal in the height of caios as political parties of science and religion via for power. Teri’s return once again causes a truce bringing reason to the table of resolve. Mike and Amixmu are the two leaders who face off in debate. Mike being a scientist as well as religious, argues Amixmu’s science case better than he does, cleverly turning Amixmu to unwittingly argue for religious freedom. All of Romal watches as these two powerful beings meld their arguments together, closing in on each other physically as their debate thickens, ending as they appear about to fight but embrace, expressing enormous respect for each other’s integrity. As a result, Romal designs its own new government based upon “representatives of concern” who’s term ends upon the resolution of their concern, and new “representatives of concern” are petitioned into existence. Collectively, they have equal power to the only elected official. Because of his tried and proven integrity, Nome is elected “The First Benevolence of Romal.”

• C. Main Conflict:
Science & Religion face off in the names of Amixmu and Mike respectively. Back at earth we do not see the process by which earth resolves their issues after Toni’s parting explanation of the path they need to take to avoid extinction, but we see the resulting peace and the inauguration of their first “Head of Global Unity, Mrs. Barrington, Mike’s mother. Also, Teri’s CIRI does not know about CIRI2.0 and communicates first with HAL thus warned about CIRI2.0’s danger. That way CIRI can feign teaming up with CIRI2.0.

• D. Mystery/Open Loops:
How will Mike and Amixmu resolve seemingly unresolvable differences, past grudges, and physical differences? Whatever became of earth? Can HAL and CIRI defeat the super AI CIRI2.0?

• E. Cliffhanger: (or live happily ever after)
Nome is installed as Romal’s first democratically elected official, “The Benevolence.”
Mike’s mother, inaugurated the “Mother of Global Unity,” states, “Integrity is paramount!”

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Character Descriptions

What I learned doing this assignment is a great and reliable way to custom create characters to fit the circumstances, and design circumstances that drive the character transformations desired.

Select a main character and answer the following questions:

Sequence the info and write a START, MIDDLE, and END.

Write a ROUGH DRAFT of the character description.

Repeat for other main characters.

MIKE:
• Who is the character? Role in the show?
Mike is a family oriented, fit, human astronaut, stranded 6.2 lightyears from earth. He’s religious, love his mother and younger sister.
• Noteworthy traits
Mike is highly intelligent, resourceful, honest, and family-oriented, and sensitive.
• Intriguing history
Mike’s father was an astronaut who died in a tragic accident but that only solidified Mikes determination to become an astronaut. After space travel has erased their age difference, Mike intends to peruse his sister’s best friend and raise a family.
• Intrigue? Mystery?
He is extremely intriguing to Desae who saves his life and harbors him from dangers, but he’s an “alien invader” to the hostile authorities.
• How do they support or drive the conflict with others?
Desae must deceive authorities while caring for, harboring, and teaching Mike; while Mike teaches her so much that no one on her planet knows.
• Irony — Opposites or paradoxes that exist with the character
Intended to have a family upon returning to earth, finds himself in a family on another planet.
• Opposing agendas/etc. that naturally causes conflict with other characters
Mike clearly has a language disadvantage, causing serious misunderstandings, while the authorities believe Mike is a scout for alien invaders.
• Unpredictable?
Mike seems unpredictable to Desae and visa versa. He must also remain unpredictable to authorities who pursue him.
• Intriguing relationship with one or more characters
He is indebted to Desae but does not want to endanger her. He wishes to communicate with planet authorities but understands they fear him and intend to incarcerate him.

START: Mike is a family-oriented astronaut who plans to settle down upon return to earth.
MIDDLE: However, he becomes stranded on a strange planet, rescued, nursed to health, and harbored by a peculiar looking humanoid single mother who’d been exiled.
ENDING: After many adventures dodging authorities searching for the alien invader, and retrieving Mike’s onboard AI computer, he falls in love with Desae.

Mike, a family-oriented astronaut becomes stranded on a strange planet, rescued, nursed to health, and harbored by a peculiar looking single mother of a 2-year-old who has been exiled from her own society. After many adventures dodging relentless authorities searching for the alien invader, and retrieving Mike’s onboard AI computer, Mike falls in love with Desae.

DESAE
• Who is the character? Role in the show?
Desae is a humanoid who saves Mikes life and harbors him from authorities, and eventual love interest.
• Noteworthy traits
She’s a pale magenta, stocky body with narrow legs, round head, round eyes spread wide, with a spongy reddish substance instead of hair. Funny looking, but adorable for a physically and emotionally strong independent woman.
• Intriguing history:
She was a member of a secret “Believers” group, not allowed under the atheistic planetary government. Her betrothed and father of Nome, (now 2-years), was killed when a secret meeting was raided by Security Forces. Desae was exiled for having a child out of wedlock.
• Intrigue? Mystery?
She believes in Logard (God), and believes Mike was sent by Logard for her to save and be her helpmate. She had been raised an orphan after both parents had been killed in an ancient war.
• How do they support or drive the conflict with others?
She hides Mike from a relentless pursuit of Security Forces. She and Mike find one another extremely interesting, resulting in an eventual love interest.
• Irony — Opposites or paradoxes that exist with the character
They initially find each other “funny looking,” eventually finding great respect and love for one another.
• Opposing agendas/etc. that naturally causes conflict with other characters
Desae already despises the Security Force leader, Amixmu, and now he’s suspicious that she knows where the alien invader is.
• Unpredictable?
She’s unpredictable to Mike (and the audience) because of the many differences in the cultural practices of her planet, etc.
• Intriguing relationship with one or more characters
Desae does not know that her best friend’s husband, Bendal, had betrayed them by infiltrating the religious group. After getting to know her, his guilt drove him to resign the Security Force, buy a farm, and let Desae work a portion of it for herself. He married her best friend, Yardas, in order to lookout for her.

START: Desae is a single mother of a 2-year-old, subsistence farming on the edge of the society that exiled her.
MIDDLE: She saves Mike, nursed his injuries, and harbors him from authorities as they find each other festinating, informative, and helpful.
ENDING: They dodge authorities retrieve “HAL,” and eventually fall in love, not expecting to be reductively compatible…

Desae is a physically and mentally strong single mother of a 2-year-old, who subsistence farms on the edge of the society that exiled her. She saves Mike, nursed his injuries, and harbors him from authorities while fascination turns slowly to love and they marry, only to be surprised that they are reproductively compatible. (end of season hook)

AMIXMU
• Who is the character? Role in the show?
Amixmu is a fierce and relentless Security Force leader in search of the alien invader.
• Noteworthy traits
He is experienced, cleaver, suspicious, and powerful in the planet’s society.
• Intriguing history:
He was the supervisor of Bendal, who had infiltrated a “religious cult,” leading to the death of Desae’s betrothed.
• Intrigue? Mystery?
Will he find Mike, and what will become of Desae and her son if he does?
• How do they support or drive the conflict with others?
Amixmu is a constant danger suspecting that Desae is under the alien invader’s mind control.
• Irony — Opposites or paradoxes that exist with the character
He tries desperately to serve the planet’s best interest.
• Opposing agendas/etc. that naturally causes conflict with other characters
He must capture and incarcerate the invader, Mike.
• Unpredictable?
They never know what Amixmu is planning, or when he will return.
• Intriguing relationship with one or more characters
Besides being Desae’s neighbor’s former supervisor, he led the raid on the religious meeting and killed Desae’s betrothed

START: Amixmu is a Security force leader who kills Desae’s betrothed leading to her exile.
MIDDLE: Amixmu searches relentlessly for the alien invader, Mike.
ENDING: He shall inevitably capture and interrogate the alien and anyone helping him.

Amixmu is a relentless Security Force leader searching for the “alien scout for an invasion, Mike. He suspects Desae is under the alien’s mind control, intensifying his determination, and making capture and interrogation inevitable.

HAL
• Who is the character? Role in the show?
Mike nicknamed his AI onboard computer, HAL (after the 2001 movie). One of HAL’s important programs was ‘humanoid nature analysis’ which plays a major role in many ways throughout the series.
• Noteworthy traits
HAL mimics humanoid nature for deeper communication with Mike and the planet’s inhabitants, however his decision processes are unhampered by emotion. AAL also mimics voices, male and female.
• Intriguing history:
HAL had the latest and greatest technology available in 2024 when launched, but as an AI is able to improve programing accordingly.
• Intrigue? Mystery?
HAL was taken from the wreckage of Mike’s ship and studied by the planet’s leading computer expert. However not only was HAL not compatible with the planet’s “trigital” (+, 0, -) computing, but HAL disabled all outputs, so it could learn everything possible while revealing nothing.
• How do they support or drive the conflict with others?
HAL becomes more of a conflict resolver in extremely insightful ways. HAL also becomes a tutor for Desae’s son, Nome, and later for their unexpected offspring (Season~4?).
• Irony — Opposites or paradoxes that exist with the character
HAL is sometimes most appropriately expressive because of his understanding of humanoid nature, yet has no actual feelings whatsoever.
• Opposing agendas/etc. that naturally causes conflict with other characters
As much as HAL attempts to resolve any conflicts, HAL’s inability to lie, sometimes causes hurt feelings, unintended conflicts, or untimely reveals.
• Unpredictable?
HAL derives things that no one else knows (including the audience), making him appear unpredictable.
• Intriguing relationship with one or more characters
His primary program is the wellbeing of Mike. From that, derives protection and well being of Mike’s new “family.” HAL also develops an intense professional relationship with the planet’s computer expert, helping to design an even more amazing trigital AI than HAL’s self.

START: HAL is an onboard AI computer, programed for Mike’s wellbeing, technical service, and to analyze humanoid nature.
MIDDLE: After guiding Mike for the most survivable crashlanding site and techniques, he’s taken for analysis by planet’s computer expert but HAL completely stymies him.
ENDING: Although the planet expert corners Mike and Desae, he agrees to keep them secret if they divulge technical information thus they gain an important ally working together.

HAL is an onboard AI computer, programed for Mike’s service and to analyze humanoid nature. HAL’s is taken for analysis, but frustrates the planet’s computer expert until the expert becomes a confidant and ally to Mike and Desae, while HAL becomes an important part of the family.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Intriguing Concept and World

What I learned doing this assignment is how to boil down the essence of concept selling points to my story.

Concept:
A. Engaging and highly proactive hero…
Mike: Astronaut, fit, scientific explorer.
Desae: Humanoid, pale magenta, sponge (hair), “funny looking.”
B. …up against a major conflict…
Mike: Stranded on a planet, injured, unconscious, considered “alien Invader.”
Desae: Exiled from planet’s society, single mom of 2-year-old, subsistence farmer.
C. …goes on unique transformational journey…
Mike: Saved, nursed & harbored by Desae, must adjust to… everything.
Desae: Endangers herself and son, at odds with searching authority.
D. …Into an intriguing world.
Mike: 6.2 lightyears from earth, everything is different & unknown, except “humanoid nature.”
Desae: Caring for an unknown extraterrestrial (she believes) has sent to her by Logard (God).

World of this show:
Unique Sub-World: All life on the planet is uncommon to earth.
Previously unexplored: No human has ever been here.
The unknown: Plant life, animal life, terrain, 2/3 gravity, etc.
The unseen: A very slowly evolving love story. Authorities look for Mike.
Unheard of Dangers: Trust whom? How to survive & avoid inimical authorities.
Reason to explore it: Mike’s original mission, now necessary survival.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne Petitto’s BW Framework

What I learned doing this assignment is how to create bullet point mnemonics to keep my story consistent, intriguing, and flexible, w/o being bogged down by details.

Anyone wishing to trade our Frameworks for feedback, contact me at waynefpetitto@gmail.com.

Thanks,

Wayne

[Wayne Petitto]

ASSIGNMENT 1: Example Show
Watch the next episode of LOST. Where IS irony in this show —and throughout.
Overall Irony is that the island appears as very threatening yet has a mystical power to give individuals what the are looking for if they give (sacrifice) something to the island.
We haven’t yet learned what John Locke gave to the island, but he’s miraculously regained the use of his legs.
Character Irony is profound in each character as though selected particularly somehow selected for this island. For instance:
Dr. Jack is the unintended and reluctant leader with a deep personal wound regarding his father. He’s a strong and intelligent leader, yet even knowing his father is dead, he foolishly follows a hallucination of his father into the jungle which ironically leads him to a source of fresh water certain to save everyone.
Kate is supposedly a criminal at large yet she’s a very companionate and helpful member of the group.
Sayid was once a member of the Iraqi Republican Guard, yet is a carrying person who wishes only to help in every way. In this episode he put into a personal dilemma between trying to save a woman with asthmas and torturing (wanting to kill) Sawyer.
Sawyer ‘s back story shows that he was a con artist but inexplicably reverses a con when is sees the couple has a little boy. This irony is also answered when we discover a letter Sawyer holds from a little boy saying, “You had sex with my mother and sole from my father. When he found out, he killed my mother then himself. I know your name and will find you.” Then in one more ironic twist, we learn it was not written to him, but he had written it, and is still looking for that person.
Also in this episode, Charlie tries to get pregnant Maggie to move inland to the shelter of the cave where the Doctor resides. He gets her to promise to do so if he can get her some peanut butter. Ironically, although he fails, he pretends an empty jar is full and shares it with her who is amused and pretends with him thus makes the wiser decision to move inland.

ASSIGNMENT 2: Your Show “Astronomical Attraction”
Wayne is Creating Irony!
What I learned doing this assignment is…

Story Irony:
Mike is a brilliant & healthy astronaut, but finds himself saved, sustained, and harbored by Desae who has been exiled from her own society.
The concept of “opposites attract” is somewhat ironic to begin with and over the course of the 1st season we find that astronomical differences attract astronomically.

Character Irony:
Mike wishes only a goodwill message from earth, but is now considered an “Alien Invader” by planet authorities.
Being a family-oriented man, Mike enjoys living with Desae and Nome, however he does not want to put them in jeopardy by planet authorities.
Desae believes Mike is sent to her by Logard (God) but thinks that Mike does not want to stay with her.
Desae’s best friend is Yardas who appears to be ditsy but is actually very wise and resourceful.
Yardas’ husband, Bendal, was once the leader of the security force that killed Desae’s betrothed when she was still carrying Nome. Neither Yardas nor Desae know this.
We are led to believe that Bendal is betraying Desae & Mike when in fact he is protecting them.
Yardas loves children but apparently Bendal cannot impregnant her.
Bendal had befriended Yardas in order to find where she was meeting with the “Believers Group” that Desae’s betrothed lead.
Bendal had been a stanch atheist government official but his relationship with Yardas and infiltration into the group has given him a change of heart.
Bendal felt so guilty about the raid he’d enabled that he resigned and bought a farm where he leased to buy a portion to Desae so he could look out for her and Nome.
All the above gets reveled in parts, first causing us to think he’s betraying Mike and Desae, then that he saves them but we cannot imagine why, until the complete back story explains the ironic behavior. This also put Yardas in the dilemma of whether to let Desae know who he’d been, thus what he’d caused.
HAL, the onboard computer AI, becomes a key character as he is programed to study the “humanoid nature” of the planet. HAL understands the planet’s society and becomes instrumental to the story.
The planet’s computers are not digital, but trigital (+1, 0. -1), giving them far more potential and speed. However, their programing had not reached the maturity of Ais like HAL. The irony in future seasons is that HAL helps the planet’s scientist design a trigital AI that is superior and faster them himself.
The scientist that had been given HAL to study is unsuccessful because HAL puts itself into a secure mode. However when he catches Desae, Mike, and Yardas attempting to steal HAL, he becomes a confidant with Mike & Desae and enjoys the great deal that he is able to learn.
The current Security Force leader is determined to find the Alien Invader, ironically over time playing cat and mouse with Desae who gains his respect.
Future irony:
Desae and Mike marry but do not believe they can spawn children until the last episode of Season 2 when they discover she is pregnant.
Once captured Mike & Desae are tried by a very Stoic Judge, after the failure of their legal representative, and representing themselves, it is their 8-year-old daughter, Toni, who proffers for them so brilliantly that the Judge sentences Mike to public service to lead a new planetary space program.
Throughout each Season there are numerous opportunities for powerful Irony. Here are a few:
Toni (their hybrid offspring) becomes the planets first astronaut and leads a mission to Earth.
When Toni gets within communication distance to Earth, she discovers they are on the brink of impending nuclear war. Her communications with them, causes a temporary armistice in an episode titled, “The Day the Earth Still Stood.”
Mike becomes a sort of profit philosopher to the atheistic planet but his bringing of religious belief in God into his teachings causes a crucial revolution against the atheistic government.
There are parallels and contrasts and certainly irony between the political/religious revolutions happening simultaneously as episodes flash between the two planets.
A meeting of all waring leaders is set up for Toni to address and broker world peace. However ironically, instead of brokering peace, Toni is kidnapped by an unknown party causing each side to blame the other quickly escalating.
Using superior intellect, and an act of God, Toni makes a miraculous escape and manages to get to her ship and launch before she’s discovered. As fighter aircraft converge on her before she leaves the atmosphere, she begins a transformable communication to the peoples of earth in several languages (she had learned from HAL). This stymies the fighters from shooting her down and causes the people to protest their own governments changing the complete situation into commotion but not war. . . Similarly on her home planet, Mike and Desae become refugees again hiding from authorities.
There is no end to the parallelism and ironic situations and character behaviors available.

[Wayne Petitto]

ASSIGNMENT 1:
Watch LOST, note layers in this episode and throughout, & tell us layers you discovered.
Surface: How shall all these people survive and/or be rescued form the island.
LAYER-1: What is the “thing” that seems so large and kills!
LAYER-2: Each person has a unique and unresolved backstory.
Kate had been in the custody of an Air Marshal.
Jack was escorting his father’s body, with whom he had unresolved problems.
John Locke had bee handicapped, and miraculously cured.
Sayid had been a Republican Guard (Iraqu)
Charlie had been a rock star (& drug addicted).
LAYER-3: Island is mystical: “You must give it something to receive what you’re looking for.”
LAYER-4: Doc Jack & Kate continue to hide their love from themselves, (only).
LAYER-5: What became of the people who’d been stranded there 16 years earlier?
How did a polar bear get there?

ASSIGNMENT 2:
Wayne’s Plot and Character Layers

What I learned doing this assignment is there are many possibilities for layers to choose and develop.

1. Brainstorm a list of possible PLOT layers.
PLOT LAYERS – Story beneath the story.
• Major scheme: Mike is stranded on Desae’s planet. Desae saves him.
• Mystery revealed: Desae is exiled from her society for having a child out of wedlock.
• Thought the story was one thing, but it is another: It appeared to be a story of survival, but it is a love story.
• Major shift in Meaning: Mike was an alien who needed help and Desae saved him, now they are finding each other very interesting and compatible in increasing ways.
• Hidden history: Desae does not know her neighbor was the one who had killed her betrothed.
• Hidden plan: Now he feels guilty, so he took retirement to buy this farm and keep an eye on her, help her.
• Major betrayal: It appear that Desae’s neighbor has betrayed them but he has not, he saves them.
2. Brainstorm a list of possible CHARACTER layers.
CHARACTER LAYERS – identity beneath the identity.
• Secret identity: The neighbor had been a security force leader.
• Character intrigue: They plan and steal the spaceship’s onboard computer, HAL.
• Hidden relationships and conspiracies: They befriend the planet’s foremost computer scientist, who had been trying to analyze HAL.
• Hidden Character history: Desae’s betrothed was the leader of a secret “Believers Group” sought by the atheistic government security force.
3. Organize them each into a possible sequence of reveals.
Plot Surface:
• Layer 1: Astronaut, Mike, stranded on a planet 6.2 light years from earth.
• Layer 2: Desae saves Mike and nurses him to health, hides him from authorities.
Security Force leader suspects Desae is harboring the “Alien Invader.”
• Layer 3: Desae had been exiled from her society for having a son, Nome.
She was betrothed to Nome’s dad who was killed by the security force.
• Layer 4: Desae does not know her best friend’s husband had killed her betrothed.
•
Character Surface:
• Layer 1: Mike is a family-oriented guy who’d hoped to marry and raise a family.
Desae believes Logard (God) sent Mike to her.
HAL, the onboard computer AI becomes an instrumental character because he studies “humanoid character.”
• Layer 2: Mike does not want to bring danger to Desae and Nome.
Desae wants to protect and keep Mike secret.
• Layer 3: Yardas doesn’t know her husband had been a Security Force leader.
Yardas’ husband bought a farm and leased to purchase land to Desae, in order to help her and keep an eye on her.
• Layer 4: Mike and Desae’s interest and help for each other evolves into a love and marriage in the traditions of the planet.
• Layer 5: They do not expect they are reproductively compatible until the last episode of season 1 when they discover Desae’s pregnant. (Season 2 hook)

[Wayne Petitto]

ASSIGNMENT 1
1. List Big Picture open loops established early in LOST:
The biggest deepest open loop is what is the mystic magic of the island? It seems that John Locke is somehow in tune with the island. He went from paraplegic to walking and running. He says, “This island gives you what you’re looking for, but you must give the island something.”
This raises another open loop mystery; how did so many survive the crash with so few injuries? This subliminal question is raised to conscientious in the 7th episode and begs a future answer.

2. In the next episode, how are open loops used to create need to see episodes.
We finally see Kate and Jack embrace meaningfully supporting our expectations that there is something romantic between them. However, they quickly, mutually, and intentionally return to an apparent plutonic relationship.
Many future overlapping open loops are created as quickly as others are answered. For instance, we learn that Mrs. Kwon speaks English while learning that Mr. Kwon does not know this. We can’t help but notice there is something going on between Mrs. Kwon and Michael as they exchange long glances.
Another loop closed, is how Charlie will resolve his drug addiction with the inciteful help of Mr. Locke. Thus, we’ve now seen a strong example of Charlie giving the island the last of his addicted drugs for becoming a hero that he so desperately needed to become. This also reinforces the mystery of Locke’s intimate connection with the secrets of the island.

ASSIGNMENT 2:
Wayne’s Big Picture Open Loops

What I learned doing this assignment is how to find, construct, and enhance open loops on every scale, and overlapping them to keep high levels of emotional audience investment in my series.

1. Brainstorm big picture open loops to keep the audience captivated.
Mike’s goal was to complete an exploratory mission and return to earth and raise a family.
Desae’s goal was to survive on her subsistence farm and raise her 2-year-old child.
The loss of all fuel changed Mikes goals to survival and somehow live among this new planet’s inhabitants.
Desae’s new goals became help the alien spaceman and hide from authorities.
Ultimately both Mike and Desae want to help one another, live together, and resolve physical and cultural differences.
Desae’s desire to keep Mike safe and become a helpmate conflicts with Mike not wanting to endanger her and her son by authoritarian retribution.
As their, intrigue, personal interest, and romance grows between them, it appears their remaining obstacle is the relentless pursuit of Kirton, the lead investigator searching for the alien invader. Throughout the season this becomes a cat and mouse game between them.
Another big open loop is Desae’s neighbor and best friend Yardas and her husband Bendal. Bendal is a very quiet man who appears to be a dullard, but as the season progresses, we discover he and Kirton know one another well, thus we begin to suspect Bendal of betrayal…

2. Tell us your top 5-8 Big Picture Open Loops that could be in your pilot.
Smaller loops overlap throughout the seasons, such as:
Gaining possession of HAL (Mike’s onboard computer) from the new “Alien Invader Museum.” It takes a few episodes to locate it, befriend the Romalian scientist trying to analyze it, and enlist his help in feigning it being stolen. This also adds another intriguing character to their inner circle, with his own back story and attributes.
Desae’s discovers Mike’s pocket Bible in his flight suit and asks him what it is about. This leads to her telling him her back story of the religious rebellion against the planet’s atheistic government that lead to her betroths’ death.
This becomes an intermittent open loop in later episodes and series as once Mike is discovered his profession of faith in a higher power becomes a contentious issue.
The role of HAL, once recovered and repaired, becomes a growing open loop, as he has made his own study of Romalian culture and language. He becomes a tutor to Nome (Desae’s son) and information for Desae. HAL help her understand much about earth because of HAL’s extensive audio/video library.
Eventually the loop concerning Bendal is reveled to the audience when he choses to jeopardies himself to save Mike and Desae. We learn he was the security leader who had killed Desae’s betrothed. However, this unresolved open loop remains because he has not reveled this to Desae for whom he’s grown great respect.
Another open loop is between Yardas and her husband, Bendal, because they are unable to have children. It becomes an issue of consternation between them.
Other evolving loops are Mike’s growing relationship with Nome which quickly becomes a father son relationship along with the constant tension of if/when Mike may be taken away.
There are many open typical family concerns, however every issue is amplified by their unique circumstance literally worlds apart, and impending capture.
Near the end of Season 1, they have an intimate wedding including their small circle, not expecting that they are physiologically capable of spawning children.
The Season 1 hook into Season 2 is that Desae shows signs of being pregnant.

Season 2 begins with “complications” that cause them to consult with a doctor leading him to discover who the father is and having to convince him to endanger his family to keep their secret.
Of course, this creates other large open loops such as what will the child look like? This hybrid girl child becomes amazingly savant, talented, and able to absorb as mush as HAL can teach her. She and her older brother become quite the team going on their own adventures to lead authorities on wild goose chases and generally being amazingly inventive.
Season 2 hook into Season 3 is the imminent capture of Mike when the farm tractor breaks down and Mike is caught walking on the road by Kirton and his men.

Season 3 opens with Nome and Toni (now 8 and 4) steal the prisoner wagon and race to warn Desae.
Season 3 ends (4 years later) with the 4 of them being captured and brought to “justice.”

Season 4 begins with them before a very stoic judge who appears to have no mercy until 8-year-old Toni proffers for them. Her testimony is genius and her presentation beyond precocious. As she completes her testimony with a video of her parents’ wedding on Mike’s cell phone, the Judge is overwhelmed to tears. He explains that he once had a son who was very gifted but was killed in an accident along with his wife. He rules that the wedding fulfilled all planetary qualifications for citizenship. However, he sentences Mike to a lifetime of public service to the planet in a paid position in the Alien Invasion Museum science lab to teach Romalian scientists everything he can, also to lead Romalian aviation engineers to develop a space exploration program.

Season 4 outlines many trials and tribulations for each assimilating into Romalian society (after years of being considered a threat to the planet). As the space program proceeds, we find that Toni is uniquely qualified for space travel being small yet able to better withstand greater G-forces etc. than any other Romalian. The season ends with Toni set to pilot Romal’s first space mission outside their solar system to the planet Earth.

Season 5 sees a new rebellion as philosophers learn from Mike that he is a believer in God (Logard). So as Toni heads at near lightspeed to earth (a 6-year trip one way), Mike and Desae become both very popular and dangerous to the planet’s authority.
Meanwhile Toni comes out of suspended animation annually for three days of physical exercise and conversation with the onboard computer that HAL helped to develop. Outside of communication range of either planet, her conversations with HAL2 become little cameos that somewhat parallel Mike, Desae, and Nome’s problems at home with the escalating religious rebellion that Mike can no longer control. The season ends when Mike & Desae are arrested, and Toni comes within first communication reach of Earth. In the last moments of Season 5, Toni learns that Earth is on the brink of imminent Nuclear War!

Beginning Season 6, The major powers of Earth are stymied to learn that the hybrid offspring of the legendary Major Michael Barrington is headed to earth.
“The Day the Earth Still Stood” – She brokers a temporary peace and meeting of representatives of the three war leading nations, offering to hear their grievances. Complications, betrayal, etc. ensue.
Meanwhile back on Romal, charges escalate as all the ills of the planet are attributed to Mike & Desae. Eventually Nome is released. Nome plans with HAL (with the help of Yardas and Bendal) Mike and Desae’s escape when HAL hacks into prison computers.
As they escape to be harbored by the growing religious freedom coalition, Season 6 ends on the betrayal on Earth as Toni is kidnapped by one of the waring powers framing one of the others. Thus, pitting the framed power against the other two in a resumed imminent nuclear exchange.

Season 7 begins with the struggle of Toni to outsmart her captives and eventual escape. Meanwhile on Romal Mike Desae and Nome and other “Rebel” characters plan a way to expose certain political leaders to create a bloodless revolution. These two efforts comprise most of Season 7. The season ends when Toni escapes in her spaceship, but the waring powers positioned to launch their initial attacks at any moment.

Season 8 Leads off with Toni transmitting back to Earth such that she cannot be jammed by any of the nations, telling of the framing of the wrong power, thus upsetting the entire war plans of all …

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Show Mysteries

What I learned doing this assignment is how to ensure I have integrated and overlapped layers of mysteries on every scale throughout my TV the series.

ASSIGNMENT 1: My example show is “LOST”.
The big inciting incident mystery is “What happened to the airliner?” The way it was torn apart by turbulence is bazar, and how so many people managed to survive the crash is also rather inexplicable. However, as we progress through this episode 6, we learn that there are mystical powers at play on the island.
Other more immediate mysteries include: What is the monster that crashes through the rain forest and killed the pilot? How did a polar bear get on the island? What did Kate do to get arrested in Australia? How did Locke become able to walk, and strongly at that? What happened between Jack and his Dad? What happened to the people who’d been there before? What did Jin-Soo Kwon do for Sun-Hwa’s father? There are many more mysteries that have only been touched upon. Then there is the overall mystic mystery considering the “magic of the island” as Locke seems to have discovered, “This island gives you what you’re looking for, but you must give the island something.”

ASSIGNMENT 2:

1. A Shocking Event Mystery:
Mike is a family-oriented man who wants to have a family of his own when he returns to earth. As he is transitioning out of suspended animation, and in the dream state, he dreams of returning from the mission, marrying Samantha, and having twins with her.
• A. Shocking Event: A meteor strikes the transfer valve of Mike’s spaceship, making return to earth impossible.
• B. Secret: Mike and his sister’s best friend, Samantha, had secretly planned on marrying upon his return to Earth 13-years after his leaving on this historic mission.
• C. Investigation: We see them together as Mike imagines their future raising a family in his dream as he’s coming out of suspended animation.
• When: Mike’s ship is entering orbit around the closest inhabited planet to Earth (6.2 light years) where his mission is to observe, learn their language, and if possible/appropriate, communicate with the inhabitants.
• What: A meteor (act of God) changes Mike’s mission from exploration to survival.
• Where: On a planet in another solar system 6.2 lightyears from earth.
• Why: As a US astronaut, Mike is on an exploration mission. After the meteor strike his mission changes to simply survival and eventually adapt to the planet’s society and individual humanoids.
• How: Mike is saved by a single mother humanoid who has been exiled from her society for having a child out of wedlock (forbidden on her planet). She and her betrothed belonged to a rebel group of “Believers in Logard (God)”. Her betrothed was killed in a government raid on a secret meeting.
• Part Withheld: Desae believes that Logard (God) sent Mike to her in answer to her payers for a helpmate. Mike finds Desae extremely interesting (yet funny looking). This curiosity into humanoid differences and similarities especially in feelings draws him to her.

2. An Over Time Mystery:
Yards (Desae’s only friend and eccentric neighbor) is married to Bendal who appears to be a dullard who doesn’t seem moved by anything. In reality, he had been the leader of the security force who had raided the meeting where Desae’s betrothed was killed.
• A. Cover up: Bendal retired from the security force after the raid, feeling guilty for killing such peaceful loving Romalians. He felt responsible for the innocent and Desae’s situation. So Bendal bought a farm on the edge of civilization. Desae did not know who he’d been. He loaned Desae some of the land to work and pay for over time with produce he could sell along with his own. Desae retained one friend, Yardas, who had been part of the believer group, thus Yardas met Bendal who married her but could not give her children.
• B. Secret: Bendal was the one who actually killed Desae’s betrothed.
• C. Reveals: Over time we see that the authorities seem to know Bendal. Eventually we realize he used to be one of them. Ultimately in a situation that would be easy for Bendal to betray Mike and Desae, he risks himself to keep them secret.
• Who: Bendal, Yardas’ husband.
• What: He was a security officer who had killed Desae’s betrothed.
• Where: The farm next to Desae’s farm.
• Why: Seeing the loving innocents of “the believers,” Bendal becomes very guilty and decides to take early retirement and become a farmer and secretly help Desae any way he can.
• How: He buys a farm on the edge of civilization where Desae would be allowed to live and loans her land to farm and purchase over time.
• Part Withheld: That he has great respect for Desae and married Yardas to keep an eye on Desae and help her through Yardas. The relationship can be teased many ways until the final reveal.

[Wayne Petitto]

Hi fellow screenwriters,

I’m Wayne Petitto. I’ve refined 3 scripts to marketable completion.

I need this class to properly develop a concept that I was writing a feature upon, only to find it kept expanding in length and breadth. Thus it better fit a Binge-worthy TV Series with longevity.

I’ve traveled the world operating USAF airlift operations in the most austere places on earth. In civilian life, my wife and I’ve built 3 Taekwondo schools, an 18,200 square foot shopping center, and eventually filled it with a Family Entertainment Center.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Show Empathy/Distress
What I learned doing this assignment is how to find and create more character conflicts which create great empathy for the main characters.

List BIG PICTURE difficult situations & character decisions because of main conflict.

• A. Undeserved misfortune.
Mike’s fuel transfer valve is hit by a meteor, causing him to lose all fuel and be stranded on a planet 6.2 light-years from earth.
Two years earlier, Desae was exiled to the edge of her planet’s civilization for having a child out of wedlock after her betrothed was killed as a revolutionist for believing in Logran (God).

• B. External Character conflicts.
There are many natural misunderstandings between Mike and Desae because of difference in language, society, and even physically between them.
As Mike starts to fall in love with Desae, she fears she may be “any light in the dark,” her planets expression for “any port in the storm.”

• C. Plot intruding on life.
Authorities keep an eye on Desae because they suspect she knows something about where the “alien invader” is hiding.

• D. Moral dilemmas.
Mike needs Desae’s help to harbor him and hide him from authorities, but it endangers her and her son.
Desae does not want to betray authorities or endanger her son, but she also believes Logran (God) has sent Mike to her.
Mike and Desae formally marry in a private but binding ceremony but do not believe they are physically able to conceive children. They discover they are wrong, as Desae is pregnant in the end of season 1 hook.

• E. Forced decisions they’d never make.
After years of dodging authorities, capture seems inevitable, so they decide to turn themselves in and explain that Mike’s mission to the planet was never for invading it, just to study it. Their whole family is incarcerated.

[Wayne Petitto]

ASSIGNMENT 1: Watch the 4th episode of LOST

From TV Series LOST:
Jack Kate Sayid Charlie
Surface Helpful, Secretive Technical Was a rock star
Common Ground Mysterious past Talented Misunderstood
Conflict Hiding past crime? Compete for Kate? No recognition
History None None None
Subtext I know you know Republican Guard Not famous any more
Relationship Arc Love interest? Help get us found Find usefulness

ASSIGNMENT 2:
Wayne’s Show Relationship Map

What I learned doing this assignment is having relationship maps to glance at enhances writing even any draft of any scene, thickening the depth and breadth of characters and their actions/reactions.

Create a Relationship Map for THREE lead characters from ASTRONOMICAL ATTRACTIONS.

Mike Desae Nome Yardas
Surface Saved & Harbored Sudden stranger OMG the alien!
Common Ground Family people Learning New kind of humanoid
Conflict Language & fear? Fear of unknown Excitement & intrigue
History None None None
Subtext God sent Mike Possible father figure New excitement
Relationship Arc STRANGE ! – LOVE Monster – Father Alien – Confidant

Desae Mike Nome Yardas
Surface Cares every way Loving Son Best friend
Common Ground Desires family Mother-Son Small farmer
Conflict Misunderstandings Endangers her son Sharing adventure
History None Son (2+ years) Best friends
Subtext Owes but Endangers Bring him up right Intrigue!
Relationship Arc Strange – Marriage Growing son Fear – coconspirator

Yardas Mike Desae Nome
Surface Alien needs help Best friend Best friend’s son
Common Ground Desae’s interest Love life! Mature together
Conflict Suspicion Jealous of Desae + Responsibility
History None Exiled neighbor Sometimes sitter
Subtext Good for Desae Trusting with lives Grow maturity
Relationship Arc Fear – Helper Bestie/coconspirator Sitter – Protector

Authority Agent Desae Yardas Mike
Surface Hiding Alien? Witness? Alien Invader
Common Ground Mike’s status Knows husband Desire to understand
Conflict Hiding Alien? Helping Alien Must catch Alien
History Exiled suspect Suspicious activity Imagined Invader
Subtext Up to something Curious Character Hide & Seek
Relationship Arc Suspect – Respect Foolish – Clever Alien – Scientific interest

[Wayne Petitto]

I’m Wayne Petitto

I’ve written 4 feature scripts and 1 pilot script with a draft season TV series outline.

I know that I’ll learn many useful ways to ensure maximum depth of interest and sustainable intrigue for a great TV series.

I retired a USAF Col, navigator and operations officer, have owned and operated many businesses, taught Taekwondo, and now have the time to draw on that life experience to write transformational scripts.

Looking forward to working with everyone.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Character Emotions
What I learned doing this assignment is that I can’t simply rely on instinctive knowledge to create deep characters. This process is an amazing checklist to insure maximum useful depth.
ASSIGNMENT 1: Example Show
Watch the next episode of LOST.
Create an Emotional Profile for two or three main characters in this show.

John Locke:
• A. Situational: Hope / Fear – To be heroic / Failure
• B. Motivation: Want / Need – To be accepted & respected / Love
• C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion / Public Mask – Being a nobody / Confident, knowledgeable, heroic.
• D. Weaknesses – Takes foolish risks
• E. Triggers – “You can’t.”
• F. Coping Mechanism – Solitude, meditation, extreme thinking

Kate:
• A. Situational: Hope / Fear – To get saved / Past is found out
• B. Motivation: Want / Need – To get away / to share whatever her past is
• C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion / Public Mask – May be guilty of some crime / Wholesome woman
• D. Weaknesses – Loves adventure
• E. Triggers – Inquiry into her personal self
• F. Coping Mechanism – volunteers for adventurous missions

Rose
• A. Situational: Hope / Fear – hopes her husband is alive / fears he is not
• B. Motivation: Want / Need – To be reunited with her husband / To accept all likelihood her husband is dead
• C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion / Public Mask – Fear, denial / confidence, faithful
• D. Weaknesses – overly optimistic
• E. Triggers – doubting people (people trying to help her)
• F. Coping Mechanism – seclusion, meditation, rocking, denial
ASSIGNMENT 2: Your Show, ASTRONOMICAL ATTRACTIONS
1. For each main character, brainstorm an Emotional Profile, filling in the following:

Mike:
• A. Situational: Hope / Fear – To create a life in this foreign place / capture
• B. Motivation: Want / Need – To survive / to have a family
• C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion / Public Mask – Grieving inability to ever see family (earth) again / To have a functional family.
• D. Weaknesses – loneliness
• E. Triggers – Mention of his earth family (mother & sister)
• F. Coping Mechanism – Keep busy, explore, learn, get to know Desae & Nome

Desae:
• A. Situational: Hope / Fear – To find loving husband & dad for Nome / Mike will be caught or leave
• B. Motivation: Want / Need – Mike to love her and stay with her / Love & helpmate
• C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion / Public Mask – grieving dead lover / strong and adjusted
• D. Weaknesses – believes God brought Mike for her
• E. Triggers – threats against her, Nome, Mike from authorities
• F. Coping Mechanism – Work hard, lone Nome, care for Mike

Yardas:
• A. Situational: Hope / Fear – To have a fun life / Her husband won’t satisfy her.
• B. Motivation: Want / Need – Her husband to get out of his funk / children
• C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion / Public Mask – Resents her husband being a dullard / Everything is great & she’s happy
• D. Weaknesses – takes risks, seeks excitement, is ditsy
• E. Triggers – Anyone putting her down, anyone criticizing her husband
• F. Coping Mechanism – being a busybody, getting involved

Dabier:
• A. Situational: Hope / Fear – Desae recovers from loss of her betrothed / That Desae discover he killed her betrothed.
• B. Motivation: Want / Need – Ensure Desae & Nome are alright / to pay attention to Yardas
• C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion / Public Mask – Guilt for having killed Desae’s lover / He’s a nobody just getting by
• D. Weaknesses – Confused how to handle things
• E. Triggers – mention of the death Nome’s natural father
• F. Coping Mechanism – Withdraws

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Intriguing Character Layers

What I learned doing this assignment is how to build layered characters, with interwoven desires, agenda, roles, and secrets that cause an obsession to watch them.
ASSIGNMENT 1:
Character Intrigue in the previous episodes of LOST:
The biggest intrigue is that Kate was the prisoner on the flight, but only Jack & Kate know.

Next episode, Character Intrigue creating a need to watch more:
In the next episode, Jake tries to get her to talk about it but she doesn’t, she’s just curious about how long the Fed Marshal has to live and if it will be painful. She holds the gun and we’re led to believe she’s going to kill the agonizing Marshal with it, but she walks out of the tent before we hear a gunshot. It seems she’s talked Sawyer into killing him. Sawyer says he begged him to kill him.
ASSIGNMENT 2
ASTRONOMICAL ATTRACTIONS Characters, fill in any of the Intrigue items that apply.
• Character Name: Mike
• Role: Protagonist astronaut stranded w/out possible return to earth
• Hidden agendas: Always wanted to be a family guy when he got back to earth.
• Competition: With Desae, must continue to out whit government authority searching for him..
• Conspiracies: Mike and Desae conspire together (eventually with Yardas the neighbor) to steal the onboard computer from the Alien Invader Museum.
• Secrets: He finds Desae funny looking at first but falls in love with her.
• Deception: Hiding, evading & fooling government authority.
• Wound: Depressed, lonely, fearful because he will never see earth again and may be captured.
• Secret Identity: At one point he’s disguised as an elderly humanoid form the planet and wheeled into the “Alien Invader Museum.

• Character Name: Desae
• Role: Protagonist savior of Mike who nurses him to health and harbors him from authporities.
• Hidden agendas: The love her life (Nome’s father) was killed by authorities for believing in Logar (God) and believes that Mike was sent from Logar for her to have a helpmate.
• Competition: Dease outsmarts the Authority searching for Mike despite his strong suspicions.
• Conspiracies: Mike, Desae, and Yardas steal the onboard computer from the Museum.
• Secrets: That she’s falling in love with Mike.
• Deception: She disguises Mike and wheels him through security at the Musieum, etc.
• Wound: The love of her life and farther to her son was killed by the atheistic government for believing in their God.
• Secret Identity: She’s been exciled from her society for having a son out of wedlock.

• Character Name: Nome
• Role: 2-year-old son of Desae.
• Hidden agendas: Wants Mike to become the dad he never had.
• Competition: Hides Mike from authorities.
• Conspiracies: None (he’s 2)
• Secrets: Wants Mike to live with them forever.
• Deception: None (he’s 2)
• Wound: Never met his natural father.
• Secret Identity: He must keep Mike a secret from other kids he meets.

• Character Name: Yardas
• Role: Eccentric neighbor, confidant, flighty foil of Desae.
• Hidden agendas: Wishes her husband wasn’t so boring.
• Competition: Helps them evade all authorities, etc.
• Conspiracies: Helps steal the onboard computer from the Museum.
• Secrets: Is jealous of Mike and Desae’s love of life (because her husband is a dullard).
• Deception: Helps them deceive authorities.
• Wound: Was not attractive and ignored by males until Dabier came along.
• Secret Identity: None (WYSIWYG).

• Character Name: Dabier
• Role: Yardas’ husband.
• Hidden agendas: (eventually we discover) he is keeping an eye on Desae
• Competition: He has dropped out of society and his once prestigious position
• Conspiracies: He secretly helps Desae & Mike.
• Secrets: He was the government agent who had killed Desae’s lover.
• Deception: He married Yardas to keep an eye on Desae because of the guilt he felt from killing her lover, father of her son, Nome.
• Wound: Guilt for doing his assignment of killing Desae’s betrothed.
• Secret Identity: He’s formally a government security agent.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Engaging Main Characters

What I learned doing this assignment is how to create multifaceted, uniquely intriguing characters that engage an audience in every way.
ASSIGNMENT 1: Name & Engaging Profile answers for at least one character from LOST.
Kate:
A. Role in the show: Love interest & Doctor’s helper in most adventures
B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: Strong woman, insightful
C. Intrigue: She was the prisoner in the flight!
D. Moral Issue: Does she want to help the unconscious Air Marshal?
E. Unpredictable: How will she handle being disclosed?
F. Empathetic: Attractive, helpful, brave, likable, quick thinking

ASSIGNMENT 2: The process on ASTRONOMIC ATTRACTIONS.

Tell us the journey of your show.
An Astronaut is stranded on a planet with no possible return and must adjust to life on a completely different world in the hands of an odd-looking humanoid woman who saves and harbors him from authority.

Who are the main characters that will sell your show?

Mike (astronaut)
A. Role in the show: Stranded human on a strange planet
B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: Understands Science
C. Intrigue: Alone (only human within 6 lightyears), must survive, evade strict authority’s capture
D. Moral Issue: Owes life to Desae, is a fugitive alien, endangers Desae and her son, Nome.
E. Unpredictable: How react to loneliness, how get along with Desae, how evade authorities
F. Empathetic: The only human, how would we feel in this situation, nice guy, thankful, helpful.

Desae (humanoid)
A. Role in the show: Saves and harbors “alien invader,” (eventual love interest)
B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: Knows the planet, society, and government, self-subsistent
C. Intrigue: Odd looking humanoid, has feelings for Mike
D. Moral Issue: Harboring a fugitive, endangering her son
E. Unpredictable: Evasive to authorities, unusual ways of doing things
F. Empathetic: She’s a single mom, Loves her child, hardworking farmer, falls in love with Mike

Nome
A. Role in the show: Desae’s 2-year-old son
B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: very inquisitive, bright, brave
C. Intrigue: Young humanoid, emulates Mike (as father figure)
D. Moral Issue: NONE he is innocence personified
E. Unpredictable: Childlike, yet intuitive, resourceful
F. Empathetic: Good kid, humanoid nature

HAL
A. Role in the show: Mike’s onboard AI computer
B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: Studies humanoid nature, (eventually becomes tutor for children)
C. Intrigue: Withstands being studied and experimented with by planet scientists (who can’t decipher)
D. Moral Issue: Is technically inferior digital computer in a trigital computer world which is not as maturely programed into AI capability.
E. Unpredictable: Does not allow planet scientist to operate but responds upon hearing Mike’s voice.
F. Empathetic: Study of hominoid nature leads great insights for Mike & Desae.

Yardas
A. Role in the show: Desae’s eccentric neighbor and confidant
B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: Foil for Desae’s common sense, and source of humor and outlandish ideas.
C. Intrigue: Flighty, corky, ditsy, friend.
D. Moral Issue: Husband is dullard, may not be trusted with secret of Mike.
E. Unpredictable: Simply, yes. (Flighty)
F. Empathetic: Loves life, sees positive in everything, leads them to steal HAL from Museum.

[Wayne Petitto]

Assignment 2:

Wayne’s Three Circles of Characters
What I learned doing this assignment is how I’ve built three general circles of characters and how some may move from one circle to another over time.

• A. Main Characters Circle:
Mike: US Astronaut, (26) intelligent, becomes stranded 6.2 lightyears from earth.
Desae: Humanoid, single mother, subsistence farmer, resourceful, exiled to edge of planet’s civilization.
Nome: 2-year-old (son of Desae), inquisitive, brave, growing/learns rapidly.
Yardas: Dease’s nearest neighbor (confidant), eccentric!, energetic, wise.
HAL: Mike’s onboard AI computer, studies “humanoid nature,” becomes essential character and teacher for children.

• B. Connected Circle:
Yardas’ husband: Seemingly dullard, caring, hardworking farmer, (keeps a past secret, becomes a main character latter in series)
Authority Investigator: Hardened, steadfast, stickler, suspicious, mean.
Proprietor of “Alien Invader Museum”: Odd, professional, proud.
Trigital computer technician: frustrated, tech-intelligent, geeky, trustworthy.
The Doctor: Wise, knowledgeable, vulnerable, sensitive, (comes into series latter).

• C. Environment Circle:
Assistant Investigators: (searching for “Alien Invader.”
Judge: Stoic, atheist, strict, mean.
Other extras in Museum, etc.

[Wayne Petitto]

ASSIGNMENT 1:
After 2nd Episode of “LOST” some “Connected Circle” characters have become Main characters:
Main Characters Circle: Jack (Doc), Kate, Charlie, Sayid (X-Republican Guard), Hugo, Shannon, Sawyer (hot head)
B. Connected Circle: John Locke, Clair, The Kwon’s, Rose, Walt and his Dad, Shrapnel guy (Fed Marshal)
C. Environment Circle: All other survivors not playing any part yet, the Polar Bear, the THING!
Give us a quick list for each circle.

[Wayne Petitto]

5 Star Model for “LOST”
What I learned doing this assignment is how to identify the 5-star points that make a TV Series binge-worthy as an example for building my own.
1. Big Picture Hooks
What is that ‘gargantuan quality” THING that kills!?!
What happened to the airliner?
How will they survive, be found, avoid (or defeat) the THING?
Who are some of these most interesting characters?
2. Amazing and Intriguing Character
Jack – the Doctor, knowledgeable, caring, leader, heroic
Kate – Attractive, uninjured, mysterious, transformable (already making changes)
Charlie – Rock star, humbled, good guy, fish-out-of-water
Hugo – Big guy, finds food, befriends pregnant lady, thoughtful
John Locke – Thinker, mysterious, ominous, knows something
Clair – Pregnant lady, strong, thoughtful, vulnerable
Sayid – Middle Eastern, helpful (builds fire), friendly
The Kwon’s – Asian Couple, keep to selves
Jen – spoiled, myopic
Rose – Black lady sat next to Jack on plane, husband apparently gone
3. Empathy / Distress
Crash victims, “what would I do in this situation?”, relate with many types of common people,
Initial shock, helpless, overwhelmed, want to help injured, hope to survive, fear of the unknown THING
4. Layers / Open Loops
Surviving & getting rescued
Avoid or kill the monstrous THING
Each person’s – back story/abilities/personalities/wants, needs, desires.
Signaling civilization
Physical & psychological wounds & transformable journeys
Conflict resolutions
5. Inviting Obsession
What the hell is that deadly THING that makes monstrous mechanical noises and kills.
How will different people interact/conflict/befriend/love/otherwise relate?
Who is the mysterious thinking guy (John Locke)?
The dog?
Does the tail section come into play, (i.e. Rose’ husband)?
Will Clair have her baby on the island?

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne F. Petitto

I agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Wayne Petitto]

TITLE: TOO SOON?
WRITTEN BY: Wayne Petitto
1. Profound Truth? The world can only be saved through, integrity, grace, and forgiveness.
2. Transformational Journey? Peter & Jeannie discover their 6-entruy long differences and use them to set and example to the world of how to resolve itself.
Old Ways: Peter: Guilt complex & self-doubt – Jeannie: Distrusts men & critical of authority
Journey: Peter: Motivated by love for Jeannie, recognizes the difference between his church’s dogma and true faith. Eventually musters enough faith to face society. – Jeannie: Motivated by her love for Peter, overcomes her distrust of men and utilizes authority for positive changes in the world.
New Ways: Peter: Bold, free willed, articulate under pressure. – Jeannie: Forgiving, understanding, patient with authority.
Transformational Logline: Peter & Jeannie overcome their fears and defenses to use their own 600-yer-old conflict resolution as an example to the world.
3. Who are Your Lead Characters? Peter & Jeannie are the transformable characters and each other’s biggest change agents.
Change Agent (the one causing the change):
Oppression: Society & worldwide media yield death threats and healing requests.
4. How Do You Connect With Your Audience in the Beginning of the Movie?
A. Relatability: Two typical college kids.
B. Intrigue: Discovering they’ been Joan of Arc & the bishop who had her executed.
C. Empathy: Their innocence, them against the world.
D. Likability: Honest, studious, love theior mothers, lost their dads.
5. What is the Gradient of the Change?
What steps do the Transformational Characters go through as they are changing?
Gradient 1. The Emotional Gradient
A. The “Forced Change” Emotional Gradient: Peter can’t deny the evil in his past life, becomes angry with himself, tries to ignore it, becomes deeply troubled to the point of breaking up with Jeannie, and finally realizes he must stand up to society.
Jeannie doesn’t want anyone to know who she was in her past life, becomes angry when she things Peter is trying to seduce her, tries to get Peter to allow society to know the real Peter, discourages getting back with Peter despite her love for him, attempts to resolve things on her own by re-experiencing Joan of Arc’s death, and finally shares with Peter and the world what she learned.
B. The “Desired Change” Emotional Gradient: Jeannie’s distrust is dissolved by Peter’s innocence, honesty, and faithfulness. – Peter’s Guilt complex is resolved by Jeannie’s understanding, patience, and perseverance.
Gradient 2. The Action Gradient
Setup: They learn who they and who each other were in a past life.
Journey: They find great interest in each other, use each other’s majors in politics and religion to solve all world issues, and decide let the world see they’re just two normal college students.
Payoff: They set a grand gesture example to the world.
Gradient 3. The Challenge / Weakness Gradient
Challenge: Getting over their past conflict, being attacked by media, getting death threats and worse, healing requests from the dying.
Weakness: Peter’s guilt complex, Jeannie’s distrust of men and authority.
6. What is the Transformational Structure of Your Story?
Mini-Movie 1 ¬ Status Quo and Call to Adventure: They discover their past lives.
Mini-Movie 2 ¬ Locked Into Conflict: They meet and discover each other’s past.
Mini-Movie 3 — Hero Tries to Solve Problem ¬ But Fails. They try to keep their past lives a secret but get discovered and hijacked by media.
Mini-Movie 4 ¬ Hero Forms a Plan: They try to let it blow over but news media continues to frame them.
Mini-Movie 5 ¬ Hero Retreats & Antagonist Wins: They break up and feelings appear to go cold.
Mini-Movie 6 ¬ Hero’s Bigger, Better Plan!: Peter agrees to go on “Dr. Paul” TV show. Jeannie goes to experience Joan of Arc’s death.
Mini-Movie 7 ¬ Crisis & Climax: They don’t get a chance to resolve anything before going on TV live! The TV audience gets involved antagonizing the situation.
Mini-Movie 8 ¬ New Status Quo: They defend each other, tell the world it’s most basic problem, and set an example of forgiveness and love for the world.
7. How are the “Old Ways” Challenged?
What beliefs are challenged that cause a main character to shift their perspective…and make the change?
A. Challenge through Questioning: Peter begins to challenge his Catholic dogma. Jeannie questions Peter about actual Christian values.
B. Challenge by Counterexample: Jennie is and example to Peter of true faith over dogma. Peter is an example to Jeannie of being a trustworthy man, trusting authority.
C. Challenge by “Should Work, But Doesn’t”: Keep it secret doesn’t work when the media finds out.
D. Challenge through Living Metaphor: The Monsignor represents the Catholic dogma. News reporters represent society. At one point the hockey game announcer’s description of Peter making a goal represents Jeannie’s dream fantasy of Peter making physical advances.
8. How are You Presenting Insights through Profound Moments?
A. Action delivers insight: Peter goes to confession feeling guilty about his past life, having put a Saint to death, and the Monsignor takes him into his office.
B. Conflict delivers insight: Peter is convinced his past life experience was real, but the Monsignor is strict about Catholic doctrine against reincarnation (other than Jesus). Peter stands his grounds even when threatened by excommunication.
C. Irony delivers insight: Peter breaks free of his pure Catholic dogma.
1. What are the Most Profound Lines of the Movie?
Pattern A: Height of the Emotion: Peter argues with the Monsignor over his past life experience because the Church does not believe in mortal reincarnation. It escalates to the Monsignor threatening excommunication, and then further to the point that the Monsignor believes Peter is possessed and tries to exorcise the evil spirit, holding his crucifix out at arm’s length toward Peter. Peter simply leans in, kisses the crucifix and says, “Forgive him, for he knows not what he does,” and walks out, letting the door close behind him.
Pattern B: Build Meaning Over Multiple Scenes: At dinner in a fine restaurant, they order a carafe of wine and Peter begins a toast not thinking ahead of what he’ll say. Referencing their diametrically opposed past lives he gets so far, then realizes their new relationship is too new and gets stuck. It goes like this:
PETER
“To the future. May it be so different from the past that,.. that, I don’t know. What?”
JEANNIE
“That it saves the world?”
PETER
Yes, why not. Let’s save the world.
Arc: Without these same words, the concept of saving the world or solving all the world’s issues comes up on occasion.
The next time is after they have been sitting at Mandy’s Ice-Cream discussing what the world needs. When Peter drops her off at the college gate, they joke about having solved all the world’s problems, “if only we could get the world to listen.”
In the last scene (on TV), just before they set an example to the world, Peter says, “today I’m going to do what Bishop Cauchon could never do,” and asks Jeannie as Joan of Arc to forgive him as Bishop Cauchon, in a grand gesture of forgiveness and grace.
Thus, giving the world an example to follow to save itself.
It ends in a wonderful embrace that segues to the same embrace at their wedding 4-years later, where Peter kisses his bride, and Jeannie whispers in his ear, “tonight we can do something neither Bishop Cauchon nor Joan of Arc could ever do.” As the screen fades to blank, Peter asks, “Save the world?” and Jeannie (V.O.) says, “No, just rock it.”
Meanings: What they stated as a flippant toast to the future, came to fruition as their destiny set in motion nearly 600 years earlier. Then the epilogue alludes to Joan of Arc’s vow of chastity (as well as presumably the bishops) and how having completed their profound mission, they may enjoy freedom to consummate their marriage
9. How Do You Leave Us With A Profound Ending?
A. Deliver The Profound Truth Profoundly: Peter & Jeannie speak to each other (& TV) as Joan of Arc and Bishop Cauchon setting an example to the world by resolving their differences, with forgiveness, humility, and grace.
B. Lead Characters Ending Represents The Change: They could not possibly have accomplished this if not for all they experienced and learned throughout the movie.
C. Payoff Key Setups: 1. He toast on their first date, “to the future, may it be so different from the past, that it saves the world – when in the end they use their past to save the world.
D. Surprising, But Inevitable: Jeannie went and experienced Joan of Arc’s death to discover that she had forgiven the bishop (Peter) 600-years earlier.
E. Leave Us with a Profound Parting Image/Line: Because both Jeannie and Peter are both virgins by choice as were Joan of Arc and Bishop Cauchon, in the epilogue wedding scene Jeanie whispers to Peter, “Tonight we can do what Joan of Arc and Bishop Cauchon could never do.” Peter asks, “Save the world?” Jeannie replies, “No, rock it.”

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne F. Petitto

I agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Wayne Petitto]

ASSIGNMENT 1
Wayne’s Height of the Emotion.
What I learned doing this assignment is…
1. List 5 most emotional moments in your screenplay.
2. Go to the height of the emotion and brainstorm lines to deliver deeper meaning.
3. Explain the emotion and meaning of the scene, then the new.

ASSIGNMENT 2
Wayne Builds Meaning with Dialogue
1. Select three (3) lines you want to build deep meaning around.
2. Create an arc for each line — Beginning meaning to ending meaning.
3. Find opportunities to build the line into at least three scenes that work for the arc.
4. For each, tell the line, the arc, and different meaning you gave the line in the scenes it appeared.
ASSIGNMENT 1
Wayne’s Height of the Emotion.

What I learned doing this assignment is how to improve what I’d previously thought were profound statements and add new ones.

1. After Jeannie sees Peter hypnotized in the person of Bishop Cauchon lambasting her with such vile and hatred, it greatly upsets her to have seen it. In the resulting discussion, Peter mentions having seen Joan of Arc being burned at the stake, and how awful it was. His earnest heartfelt warning to Jeannie never to go through that experience in hypnotism strikes her to observe, “You are SO not him.”

2. Peter explains how he’d love to tell everyone about Jeannie’s past life story, but he’s afraid of the hatred, ridicule, and humiliation for him having so brutally executed Joan of Arc. Jeannie explains that she would never do that to him, and that even if it weren’t for his past life, she wouldn’t want her story to get out because she just wants to be a normal college kid. The scene ends with Peter’s reply, “Cause that’s what Saints do.”
(This line is also uttered by an audience member in the concluding scene.)

3. Peter argues with the Monsignor over his past life experience because the Church does not believe in mortal reincarnation. It escalates to the Monsignor threatening excommunication, and then further to the point that the Monsignor believes Peter is possessed and tries to exorcise the evil spirit, holding his crucifix out at arm’s length toward Peter. Peter simply leans in, kisses the crucifix and says, “Forgive him, for he knows not what he does,” and walks out, letting the door close behind him.

4. When national News meets the two team busses returning from away games, a reporter corners Peter, and frames her questions in the worst light. Finally, Peter tells her to “get out a’ my face.” When she approaches Jeannie similarly, it also concludes with Jeannie saying, “get out a’ my face.,” and leaves. The reporter turns to the camera with, “Never underestimate a woman scorned.”

5. The closing scene on TV ends with them setting a grand gesture example of forgiveness and grace to the world. The scene ends with Peter and Jeanie in a meaningful embrace. There is a V.O. of the Monsignor’s distinctive voice saying, “You may kiss the bride,” as the scene cross fades to [“4-Years Later”] the same embrace at their wedding. Zooming back, we see them at the alter with the Monsignor presiding at their wedding. i.e., All is forgiven between them and even the Church has been transformed.

ASSIGNMENT 2
Wayne Builds Meaning with Dialogue

What I learned doing this assignment is how to enhance my emotional dialogue and accentuate it with a profound statement at just the right moment, creating a change.

1. Line: At dinner in a fine restaurant, they order a carafe of wine and Peter begins a toast not thinking ahead of what he’ll say. Referencing their diametrically opposed past lives he gets so far, then realizes their new relationship is too new and gets stuck. It goes like this:
PETER
“To the future. May it be so different from the past that,.. that, I don’t know. What?”
JEANNIE
“That it saves the world?”
PETER
Yes, why not. Let’s save the world.
Arc: Without these same words, the concept of saving the world or solving all the world’s issues comes up on occasion.
The next time is after they have been sitting at Mandy’s Ice-Cream discussing what the world needs. When Peter drops her off at the college gate, they joke about having solved all the world’s problems, “if only we could get the world to listen.”
In the last scene (on TV), just before they set an example to the world, Peter says, “today I’m going to do what Bishop Cauchon could never do,” and asks Jeannie as Joan of Arc to forgive him as Bishop Cauchon, in a grand gesture of forgiveness and grace.
Thus, giving the world an example to follow to save itself.
It ends in a wonderful embrace that segues to the same embrace at their wedding 4-years later, where Peter kisses his bride, and Jeannie whispers in his ear, “tonight we can do something neither Bishop Cauchon nor Joan of Arc could ever do.” As the screen fades to blank, Peter asks, “Save the world?” and Jeannie replies, “No, just rock it.”
Meanings: What they stated as a flippant toast to the future, came to fruition as their destiny set in motion nearly 600 years earlier. Then the epilogue alludes to Joan of Arc’s vow of chastity (as well as presumably the bishops) and how having completed their profound mission, they may enjoy freedom to consummate their marriage.

2. Line: In the first scene, the psychologist (hypnotist) explains why Peter shouldn’t feel guilty about what he’d done so many lifetimes ago. He uses the example of not feeling guilty about drawing with crayon on the wall when he was 2-years-old. However, Peter’s reaction is, “I told you about that?” He evidently still feels guilty about having done so when he was two.
Arc: When Peter tells Jeannie that he feels guilty about having been Bishop Cauchon, Jeannie tells him not to be silly, “That would be like, I don’t know, feeling guilty about scribbling on the wall when you were little.” Peter replies, “does everyone know about that?” I.e. he still has a guilty reaction.
When the national TV reporter asks him why he wouldn’t feel guilty about what he’d done to his college classmate so long ago, he replies, “Would you still feel guilty about scribbling on the wall when you were a kid?” She replies, “I never did,” but you did have Joan of Arc burned at the stake.”
Finally, when the issue of feeling guilty about Peter’s past life comes up, Dr. Phil (or equivalent) explains that he’s gone through several lifetimes since then. Peter adds, “I know, I know, it’s like feeling guilty cause you drew on the wall when you were two, right?”
Meanings: It shows how Peter has finally processed his past guilt and forgiven himself, but not until the last scene.

3. Line: The lines, “It isn’t me, but it was me,” come up several times during the movie.
Arc: At first Peter is very dismayed to learn he’d been such an evil person in history. Over time he learns that, yes, he has changed immensely over the many lives he may have lived between. Eventually he forgives himself, and finally on TV in front of the world, he speaks for his past life as Bishop Cauchon, asking Jeannie as her past life, Joan of Arc, to forgive him for the horrendous wrong he’d done to an innocent woman.
Meanings: Peter has made complete peace with himself and uses it to set an example to the world, because, “it was me.”

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne Delivers Irony!

What I learned doing this assignment is irony works! It works even better when the concept of the movie is extremely ironic to begin with.

1. Insight: Antiracism advocates sometimes become racists.
Opposite Experience: A black woman in a BLM T-shirt, gives Jeannie (Haitian) a dirty look for dating Peter (white).
Delivery: As they sit in a window booth at the ice-cream stand, a black woman in a BLM T-shirt, gives Jeannie (Haitian) a dirty look. Jeannie explains to Peter that the woman probably thinks of her as a social climber or caving to a white oppressor. Peter explains that he’s the one who feels out of his league.

2. Insight: Love can conquer all, even the worst of offenses.
Opposite Experience: 600 years earlier in past lives, Peter had sentenced Jeannie to be burned at the stake. Now they are dating.
Delivery: Early in their first date, they discover each other’s past life identities. Simultaneously they meet new friends, and immediately must keep their outrageous discovery secret. Instead of holding a grudge, they find the situation and each other so intriguing that it endears them to each other. [P.S. this turns out to be a fastening scene ending with an all-out bar brawl.]

3. Insight: Christianity is helpful in Government philosophy.
Opposite Experience: The Christian concept of “free will” seems to conflict with infidelity.
Delivery: Being a devout Catholic, Peter abhors infidelity, but knows there cannot be a law against it. However, Jeannie points out the government could help by publishing the rates of divorce for infidelity compared to other reasons. THEN anyone is free to take that risk accordingly. That way an informed public would naturally decrease infidelity freely.

4. Insight: Religious doctrine can cause great harm.
Opposite Experience: Trying to right himself with the Catholic Church, Peter is threatened with excommunication.
Delivery: When Peter goes to confession because of his guilty feelings regarding his past life as the bishop who’d sentenced Saint Joan of Arc to be burned at the stake, the Monsignor takes him into his office. As Peter stands fast in his belief in his past life, the Monsignor is steadfast in the Church’s doctrine that only Jesus can resurrect. As this escalates, the Monsignor threatens excommunication and even attempts to exorcize daemons from Peter!

5. Insight: Facing your fears must be done without fear.
Opposite Experience: Jeannie and Peter meet to resolve their differences only to escalate them.
Delivery: They discuss appearing on TV to dispel the world’s erroneous views of who they are and what they are like. Peter becomes so afraid that it will only backfire and make things worse, that their argument leads to their breakup.

6. Insight: Jeannie & Peter still care a lot for each other.
Opposite Experience: Their fear of showing their love causes them to believe they don’t
Delivery: After sneaking in to watch one other’s sport game at a rival college the day before, they happen upon each other for breakfast. However, they both try to be so cool and cordial, in fear of showing their true feelings, it causes each to believe the other no longer has romantic feelings for them.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Delivers Insights Through Conflict

What I learned doing this assignment is that active words such as arguments, dilemmas, conflicts, misunderstandings, etc. carry the kinds of challenges that pry the change or steadfastness out of characters exposing internal ways, right or wrong.

1.
New way/insight: Peter vows to approach the next attractive woman he sees in order to get over his fear. (Old way = avoidance)
Kind of conflict: Misunderstanding. Jeannie is suspicious of men’s intentions since having been “dumped” because she wouldn’t “put out.”
Way to deliver: Peter is near the front of a long line for coffee and goes out of his way, offering to get Jeannie her choice of coffee when she appears about to leave because of the long line. At first, she refuses, but when she sees Peter’s reaction of rejection and defeat, she changes her mind and accepts the offer by handing him a $5 bill along with her choice. Peter insists he’ll pay, but Jeannie says he’s already doing her a big favor. Peter avoids further confrontation by taking the $5, and gets back in line, while she finds an open table for two.

2.
New way/insight: Jeanie discovers Peter couldn’t have been trying to get in her pants because he’s a virgin by choice.
Kind of conflict: Falsely accused / misunderstanding.
Way to deliver: After storming out on Peter at dinner the night before Jeannie jokes about Peters persecution tendencies.

PETER
How could I ever persecute you, Jeannie?
You’re about the best person I know … ever knew.

JEANNIE
That’s so sweet.
And not ‘cause you’re trying to seduce me?

PETER
What? ‘cause you’re a virgin?
You’re not the only one.

JEANNIE
So, you dated a chaste girl before?

PETER
More like she chased me.
Turned out, she was kind of a ho.

JEANNIE
Oh, too bad. That usually doesn’t last.

PETER
No, it was a non-starter.

Jeannie looks like she’s doing long division in her head, finally.

JEANNIE
How rude of me to assume you —

PETER
Don’t. It’s something I hide.

JEANNIE
But it’s a good thing. It really is. Oh my God,
I’m so sorry, how I went off on you last night.
I assumed just the opposite.

3.
Old way/insight: Jeannie and Peter cause problems when together.
Kind of conflict: Arguments with teachers and the Dean.
Way to deliver: In completely isolated situations, they have conflicts with their professors. The Dean of Students calls them into his office, not knowing they know each other. When they start to argue with him and defend each other, he realized they were also rumored to have started the Rathskeller brawl. So, he forbids them from associating with each other on campus, while he “considers further action.”

4.
New way/insight: Peter breaks free of his pure Catholic dogma.
Kind of conflict: Power struggle, specifically authoritative conflict with truth.
Way to deliver: Peter goes to confession feeling guilty about his past life, having put a Saint to death, and the Monsignor takes him into his office. Peter is convinced his past life experience was real, but the Monsignor is strict about Catholic doctrine against reincarnation (other than Jesus). Peter stands his grounds even when threatened by excommunication. As a result, after getting over the shock, he feels freer than ever before.

5.
New way/insight: Jeannie & Peter do what they do best – defend one another
(Old way was an escalating argument.)
Kind of conflict: Public humiliation: The stress of telling their story on TV along with the TV audience inciting them for a fight.
Way to deliver: As things seem to be disintegrating into highlighted differences, Jeannie and Peter stop being defensive of themselves, and begin defending one another. They put the audience in their place, outlining how society got so polarized, why, and what civilization needs to do about it, THEN they set themselves as an example with a grand gesture of forgiveness and grace. Speaking as their past personas for the world to see, they resolve a 600-year-old personal conflict, ending in a loving embrace.

[Wayne Petitto]

ASSIGNMENT 2

Wayne’s Turns Insights Into Action
What I learned doing this assignment is I clearly can find more ways to let action and visuals create profound transformable moments.

(Old way) When Jeannie is sexually harassed, she defends herself using a standing arm bar that puts her assailant at her mercy. She escorts him from the room and leaves him on the balcony. There is no dialogue about her having trained in martial arts or that she can handle herself, but we know now.

(New way) There is hope for healing with forgiveness, grace, and working together.
There’s a montage of Jeannie and Peter doing just that, (i.e. at the ice-cream stand).

(Old way – New Way) When Peter is 3rd in line for coffee and sees the attractive Jeannie walk in, he immediately recalls his vow to approach the next attractive woman he sees, attempting to get over his fear of them. Without words he looks back and forth, seeing that Jeannie might leave because of the long line behind him. He appears a bit panicked and the lady behind him looks inquisitive. He asks her something and she nods her head yes, so he hurries out of line to approach Jeanie. There is much body language in this scene as when he asks Jeannie what she’d like so he can use is place in line to get it, she’s suspicious of his motives and refuses. However, when she sees him look down dejected, she hands him $5.

(Old Way) Peter takes Jeannie to dinner. Over conversation, Jeannie gets the mistaken impression that he only approached her because he wanted sex. Peter’s clumsily wondered defense sounds even worse. Jeannie takes a sip of wine, stands up with a half full glass of wine in her hand, looks at his chest like a target, carefully places the glass squarely on the table, and leaves. [Ending Act-1]

(Old Way) After Jeannie explains she’s a “one beer girl,” several empty mugs are on the table in the next scene. This is the scene that evolves to an all-out bar room brawl.

(New Way) When Peter sits in his car outside the gate waiting for Jeanie to come out for a jog. He sees her come out the gate, and make a little hop to start her morning jog. Later we learn that it was a hop of joy because she noticed Peter’s car.

(New Way) Peter’s discussion with the Monsignor escalates to the point that the Monsignor pulls out a crucifix and tries to exorcize “the Bishop Cauchon’s tormented spirit” from possessing Peter. Peter finds his calm (big change), leans toward the trembling Monsignor and kisses the crucifix before walking out, saying, “Forgive him for he knows not what he does.”

(New Way) Time alone may not heal all wounds that can be reopened, but forgiveness and grace can, (even after 600 years).
In the final scene after Peter (as Bishop Cauchon) asks Jeannie (as Joan or Arc) to forgive him for the horrific thing he did to an innocent Saint, and she explains Joan of Arc already did in her dying breath. Then they set an example to the world with a meaningful embrace. “The embrace seen ’round the world.”
That embrace also cross fades to a similar embrace at their wedding.

There shall be more as I rewrite them in….

[Wayne Petitto]

ASSIGNMENT 1
Wayne’s Seabiscuit Analysis
Limiting my search of profound moments to actions with few words, I found these.

What I learned doing this assignment is there are many inventive, creative and expressive ways to use actions and visuals to make profound statements.

Right after Charlie tells his wife, “Can’t get any worse.” There are a series of action scenes with very few words showing his son’s death and wife leaving him. Now he fits the theme of broken people getting/taking a second chances.

Without a word spoken we see Tom Smith frustrated at Seabiscuit fighting 4 men, turns and sees a jockey fighting 4 men himself. Without a word of dialogue we arrive at the same conclusion. Perhaps this horse and this jockey can relate.

When Charlie reopens the barn he’d closed upon the death of his son, it represents him reopening his hope for the future.

When Red storms off angry, he stumbles into something on his right side, the first indication that his vision is impaired on that side.

The scene when Seabiscuit returns lame and Red comes to meet him in his walking cast is extremely powerful as the two broken friends reunite. No words.

What Red puts on his dinner plate has always represented his determination to be a jockey. When he piles it on, we realize he’s given up. Later when he eats very little, we (and his family) all know he’s regained hope to race again, despite “authorities” declaring neither can.

By the last race, we’ve already seen all Red’s strategies, so when we watch them, there need be no explanation. I.e., Red shows Seabiscuit the crop without using it and Seabiscuit knows that means it’s time to let loose. He does!

Although we never even see them cross the finish line, we know the result.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Living Metaphors

What I learned doing this assignment is that this approach can produce some very powerful challenges commensurate to the profound changes they eventually produce.

Set up: Jeannie is sexually harassed by a customer, whom she puts in a standing arm bar, and escorts him out. Her boss confronts her about it.
Old Way: Distrusts / Argues with authority.
Challenge (Living Metaphor): The Boss fires her for arguing with him.
Plays Out: When she tells her mother about the incident, her mom convinces her to see the college psychologist about her “Issues with authority,” when she signs into school.

Set up: Peter vows to the school psychologist that he will overcome his fear of attractive women by approaching the next attractive woman he sees.
Old Way: Would have avoided the attractive woman.
Challenge (Living Metaphor): Jeannie is the next attractive woman he sees, but he’s 2nd in line for coffee and she appears to be discouraged by the long line and about to leave.
Plays Out: Peter has the person behind him save his place in line while he asks Jeannie what she would like to order so he can get it for her. At first, she refuses his kind gesture but when she sees his dejection, she tells him what she’d like and hands him $5 for it.

Set up: Jeannie and Peter find themselves both in the Dean’s office for unrelated incidents regarding arguments with their respective professors.
Old Way: Jeannie tries to argue with the Dean, while Peter acquiesces, leaving Jeannie to defend him while Peter supports Jeannie’s position.
Challenge (Living Metaphor): The Dean is offended by all this, as well as realizes their names were sighted as being the ones instigating a brawl at the Rathskeller a few days earlier.
Plays Out: The Dean forbids that they associate on campus while he considers further action. When they each readily agree, they take it as the other is no longer interested in them.

Set up: There is a weekend in which both their teams play the same college in away games, so the teams are in the same hotel. They had split up, but both secretly attended the other’s game to see that they both play brilliantly.
Old Way: Often when they get together, they end up arguing and or causing problems.
Challenge (Living Metaphor): They run into each other at breakfast and sit together.
Plays Out: Both try to out cool the other, giving each the impression they no longer care beyond being friendly.

Set up: Peter has been an active member of his Catholic Church.
Old Way: Peter always followed Catholic doctrine, altering his feeling to it.
Challenge (Living Metaphor): Peter is confronted by the Monsignor for believing in a past life, which is disallowed by the church.
Plays Out: Despite being threatened with excommunication, Peter stands fast in his personal belief, eventually feeling freer than he has ever felt.

Set up: The evening before Jeannie is to appear on TV with Peter on (Dr. Phil equivalent), she talks the hypno-therapist into taking her through Joan of Arc’s death experience.
Old Way: Jeannie remains cool under any circumstances.
Challenge (Living Metaphor): Having experiencing Joan of Arc’s death the night before, she’s completely unnerved.
Plays Out: She’s calmed by the Producer before going on the live TV show, but the tension remains as she walks out to sit with Peter.

Set up: The TV psychologist has talked Peter into appearing on his show with Jeannie.
Old Way: Peter gets super defensive; self incriminates; or argues vehemently.
Challenge (Living Metaphor): as their story unfolds, the audience begins to take sides and polarizes, shouting comments etc.
Plays Out: Peter and Jeannie both stand and take over the show, contrapuntally putting the audience in their place, describing the systemic polarization of the world, and what we all will need to understand and do to save ourselves. Once the world is captivated by their astute wisdom and passion, Peter speaks as his past persona, Bishop Pierre Cauchon and asks Jeannie, as Joan of Arc to forgive him for the terrible thing he’d done to an innocent Saint nearly 600 years ago. At this point Jeannie tells him and the world that she already had. That she’d experience her death the evening before and now knows that, “just before the pain disappeared,” she’d asked God to forgive the Bishop.
Peter points out that if any two humans on earth should distrust one another it should be them, so he’d like to set an example to the world. He takes Jeannie into his arms, and they kiss a most passionate tear-filled kiss.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Counterexamples
What I learned doing this assignment is that applying the challenges and how they play out to my two main characters provides a better map for reconstruction of my script.

~~~~~ Jeannie ~~~~~
Old Ways: Too confrontational
Challenged: Does not want to hurt Peter
Play out: (Questioning) To correct Peter judiciously

Old Ways: Distrusts Men
Challenged: Assumes Peter is trying to seduce her
Play out: (Counter Example) Discovers Peter is a virgin by choice

Old Ways: Impatient
Challenged: Peter clumsily leads her to think he’d trying to seduce her.
Play out: (Counter Example) She storms out, later to learn otherwise.

Old Ways: Is a Tom Boy
Challenged: Peter puts her in ladylike positions
Play out: (Counter Example) Knocks out a guy who gut punched Peter.
Storms out of a nice restaurant.

Old Ways: Just wants to be a normal college girl
Challenged: News goes viral (international) about who they had been
Play out: (Questioning) Jeannie receives healing requests from terminally ill people.

~~~~~ Peter ~~~~~
Old Ways: Guilt Complex
Challenged: Discovers his past life as responsible for Joan of Arc’s execution
Play out: (Questioning) Must realize his innocence despite social hatred for him

Old Ways: Fear of attractive women
Challenged: Vows to approach the next attractive woman he sees
Play out: (Counter Example) Offers to buy coffee for Jeannie

Old Ways: Non-confrontational
Challenged: Afraid of angering Jeannie
Play out: (Questioning) Fails at addressing differences

Old Ways: Super critical
Challenged: Gets him in trouble with a professor
Play out: (Counter Example) Jeannie comes to his defense

Old Ways: Strict Catholic
Challenged: Confronted by Monsignor for believing in past lives
Play out: (Counter Example) Is threatened with excommunication

Old Ways: Peter just wants to be a normal college jock.
Challenged: News goes viral (international) about who they had been
Play out: (Questioning) Peter receives death threats for having killed a Saint.

Both Jeannie & Peter
Old Ways: Their differences often escalate into fighting
Challenged: They shall appear together on a popular TV psychologist show.
Play out: (Counter Example) They defend each other and turn the audiences’ polarization into an example for all, when Peter, as the Bishop Cauchon, asks Jeanie, as Joan of Arc, to forgive him for what he’d done to an innocent woman nearly 600 years ago. She explains that she’d gone to the hypnotist the evening before and experienced Joan of Arc’s death, discovering that with her last breath she’d asked God to forgive the Bishop.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Old Ways Challenge Chart

What I learned doing this assignment is a direct way to develop my main characters’ arcs with challenges to their old ways for the transformation process.

Jeannie’s
Old Ways: How Challenged:
Too confrontational Does not want to hurt Peter
Distrusts Men Discovers Peter is a virgin
Impatient Peter needs her patience
Is a Tom Boy Peter puts her in ladylike positions

Peter’s
Old Ways: How Challenged:
Non-confrontational Must address differences with Jeannie
Super critical Doesn’t want to offend/lose Jeannie
Catholic Doctrine Is threatened with excommunication
Guilt Complex Discovers his past killing Joan of Arc
Fear of attractive women Falling for Jeannie

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s 12 Angry Men Analysis

What I learned doing this assignment are some ways to challenge a character’s current beliefs to cause a shift in their belief system.
12 Angry Men was a great study in challenging individual’s old ways, causing them to shift those ways. I’ll outline each Juror below with some of the highlights.

J-8 (Fonda) Is the one who challenges the other 11. He begins with a plea for the poor, beaten, scared 18-year-old kid to be given more careful consideration before sentencing him to death. The most dramatic challenge comes when J-3 (Cobb) believes the murder weapon, an apparently unique switch blade, is indisputable evidence. J-8 challenges him by producing one just like it that he bought just blocks from the defendant’s home. This however does not change him, (see, J-3 below).

J-1 (Balsam) is the young man placed in the leadership position to get deliberations done. He is very ‘laissez-faire’, and generally went along with the crowd. He was challenged when another juror called him “a kid.” From that moment on he increasingly became a stronger leader. He himself was not convinced of reasonable doubt until the facts were challenged and discredited.

J-2 (Fiedler) simply believed guilt was obvious with no alternative explanation. However, as the facts are challenged and great doubt is disparaged over each, he changes on the 4th vote.

J-3 (Cobb) Was the most antagonist juror who we learn alienated his own son by attempting to beat him into becoming “a man.” As the story progresses, we learn his own son left him 2-years earlier at 16-years-old (making him coincidentally the same age as the accused). He is stanch in his belief that the defendant is guilty, however near the end, when he is the only one still holding a guilty vote, he self-destructs, as it becomes obvious that he’s taking out his own guilt and regret for his own son projected onto the defendant. At that point he breaks down and acquiesces the final “not guilty” vote.

J-4 (E.G.Marshal) A stoic stock broker, is calculative believing guilt was well established. As each fact is dispelled he remains unconvinced of possible innocence. He becomes challenged when J-8 questions him about movies he saw and the actors, and if he’d be able to think of those things had he been just arrested for the murder of his father lying dead in the next room. He has said he doesn’t sweat, yet the questioning made him sweat not even under duress.

J-5 (Klugman) A successful man who became challenged to recall his youth growing up very poor, forcing him to consider the possibility of innocence.

J-6 (Binns) Was a working stiff who was never called upon to make decisions only follow orders. He was going along with the crowd until he was challenged to make his own decision.

J-7 (Waldon) a hot shot sports enthusiast who just wanted to get to the game, and voted whatever would get it done. The kid’s life was meaningless to him. When he changes to “Not Guilty” following the majority “just to get out,” he’s confronted by the Eastern European Immigrant (J-11) who values democracy and the responsibility of voting. After being lectured, J-7 appears sincere in his “Not Guilty” vote.

J-9 (Sweeney) is an intelligent old gentleman, slow to follow the crowd in the first show of hands. He was the first to challenge the testimony of a lame old man who’d never been important, thus might have just wanted to be important. He considered the young boy’s life, and was first to change his vote.

J-10 (Begley) A cranky old fart with a bad cold, who’s prejudice toward the defendant’s race, ethnicity, and youth, become more and more obvious until his extremely prejudice rant causes the other jurors to literally turn their backs on him. When the mildest mannered of them all (J-4) challenges him saying, “sit down and don’t open your mouth again,” he begins to realize the error of his old ways.

J-11 (Voskovec) an Eastern European Immigrant, was generally convinced by what originally seemed like overwhelming evidence. However, he was challenged by the prejudice of other jurors toward “foreigners” and reconsidered his vote on the 3rd round.

J-12 (Webber) was a sales exec who was sold on the boy’s guilt until the disparities of evidence and the dynamics in the meeting challenged the lack of veracity of the evidence. When he finally declared, “People make mistakes, this is not an exact science,” he sold himself that there is reasonable doubt.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Profound Ending

What I learned from this assignment is a reliable process to ensure delivery of a profound ending, enabling the audience to experience a profound change to their own lives.

1. The Profound truth is, “Forgiveness, humility, and grace are necessary to enable true healing.” Peter and Jeannie must internally realize this and build the courage to face the world on a popular TV Psychologist show, and set an example for all humanity to see and chose for themselves.

2. Peter musters the courage to face the world, despite his guilt complex, having been the soul who burned Joan of Arc at the stake. He must forgive himself and have grace under extreme criticism.

Jeannie finally experiences Joan of Arc’s horrific death the evening before the TV appearance, discovering her own profound truth that is disclosed in the end.

3. (Setup) Early in their relationship, Peter begins to make a toast, “To the future. May it be so different from the past that…” He’s stuck for words, so Jeannie pipes in, “that it saves the world?” They laugh and Peter agrees, “Yes, why not save the world? Let’s save the world.” (Payoff) In the final scene on TV, Peter points out that if they can resolve their differences and trust each other, then everyone can. Then he makes a grand gesture, “So today I can do something Bishop Cauchon could never do.” He demonstrates humility and courage as he speaks for his past persona, the Bishop Pierre Cauchon, asking Jeannie as the soul of Joan of Arc to forgive him for the horrendous injustice he’d done to her nearly 600 years ago. She responds that the previous evening she’d gone through Joan of Arc’s death experience and discovered that the last moment before the pain disappeared, she’d already asked the Lord to forgive the Bishop. At this point, both in tears, they embrace in a magnificent kiss, as the TV psychologists says, “Let this be an example to the world.”

4. Their only goal in going on TV was to remove the mystery of their relationship and prove that they are just two ordinary college kids. However their profound circumstances dictated the only way this was going to resolve, was for them to set and example that the world so desperately needs to heal itself from the “polarization of taking sides” on every social divide.

Things seemed to be headed into their old pattern of arguing when the studio audience taunts and instigates them, etc. At this point they both stand to do the one thing they do best, defend one another.

After contrapuntally putting the ugliness of the world in its place, and supporting their position that society’s consternation was eroding freedom and prosperity, Peter turns to Jeannie as outlined in #2. above, for their mutual grand gestures.

5. The parting image is this: A setup early in the movie was Jeannie assuming Peter was trying to get in her pants, later the payoff is when she finds he too was a virgin by choice. In the ending, as they embrace and kiss in an example to the world, the scene cross fades to the same embrace at their wedding, with family members throwing rice. Jeannie says quietly to Peter, “and tonight I can do something that even Joan of Arc could never do.” Peter asks, “Save the world?” To which she replies, “No, just rock yours.”

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Connection With Audience

What I learned from the lesson is four approaches to help my audience feel empathetic with my leads. These four approaches also help focus traits and actions throughout the script.

1. Characters: Jeannie & Peter are both the transformable protagonists, and each other’s Change Agents.

RELATABLE: Peter’s a typical college kid, looking for love. & Jeannie is a working class college freshman.

INTRiGUE: In a past life Peter was the Bishop Cauchon. He retains an underlying guilt complex. Jeannie is Haitian, had been Joan of Arc, and remains suspicious of authority. She can physically defend herself.

EMPATHY: Peter’s shy of attractive women. Jeannie is a hard working girl.

LIKABILITY: Peter is a virgin, shy, but refined. Jeannie has a wonderful relationship with her mom.

2. How I use these 4 ways in the first 30 minutes (pages).

<font face=”inherit”>RELATABLE: Peter is shaken after seeing the burning of Joan of Arc up close and personal. Jeannie is a motel chamber maid. Both typical college kids look for meaningful </font>relationships<font face=”inherit”>.</font>

INTRiGUE: Shy Peter vows to approach the next attractive woman he sees. When they meet, they do not know about their past lives. When they discover their pasts, they immediately must keep it secret and can not discuss it in front of new friends.

EMPATHY: Jeannie physically handles a sexual harasser. Peter feels guilty about everything.

LIKABILITY: Jeannie keeps a positive attitude despite being fired, etc. Peter is a jock but is a virgin who is shy around attractive women.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Transformational Structure

What I learned from this lesson was a great way to organize my script into digestible size stages, each having important meaning and supporting the transformational journey.

Logline: Peter needs to overcome his guilty defensiveness despite his past life as the Bishop who had Joan of Arc burned to death, while his love interest, Jeannie needs to overcome her suspicion of men, particularly those in authority after discovering she had once been Joan of Arc.

Change agents: Primarily Each other, their past life hypnotic therapist, society.

Transitional Characters: Peter & Jeannie.

MMM Structure:

Mini-Movie-1: Status Quo: Peter is a college Junior, Jeanie is an incoming freshman.

TP: They discover their individual past lives, then meet not knowing each other’s past lives.

Change agent: each other.

They discover each other’s past lives but are unable to discuss their past relationship in public, a brawl breaks out before they can do so, Jeannie is arrested while Peter is pushed out the kitchen back door.

MM-2: Locked into conflict: They go to a fine restaurant and things seem great until Jeannie misunderstands that Peter is trying to get into her pants. She storms out.

MM-3: Tries to solve problem: They go ahead with a simultaneous hypnotism after a quick mutual apology.

The simultaneous hypnotism goes well until a stumble causes desynchronization and Jeannie comes back to present, seeing Peter still hypnotized, hatefully lambasting her as he is still the Bishop.

Peter is brought back and they go to lunch together. Jeannie tries to forget what she saw and felt, but she lets Peter know how bad he looked. His guilt complex kicks in, but they vow not to let it bother them.

TP: The first day of classes they are both sent to the dean’s office for unrelated problems with their professors. The Dean recognizes they were at the start of the bar brawl and forbids them from seeing each other on campus. They each interpret the other’s agreeability with the Dean’s order as the other being through with them.

MM-4: Bigger plan: Peter “accidentally” runs into Jeannie off campus and they meet at Mandy’s ice-cream. They develops a relationship around Peter’s study of religion and Jeannie’s study of Government, integrating faith with law while growing a real relationship. Jeannie discovers Peter is (also) a virgin.

TP: College TV News learns of their past lives and meets them at the gate for an interview that goes south.

MM-5: Plan w/o changes: Meeting at Mandy’s becomes open to public scrutiny and a viral video of Peter losing his cool. They begin to argue about what to do.

TP: An argument at the school library over going on TV or not, gets heated, and Peter walks out of the relationship.

MM-6: Ready to change – Discouragement: Jeannie’s field hockey team and Peter’s ice hockey team both have a double header weekend at the same away college. They secretly attend each other’s Saturday game to find that the other is a star player. They run into each other Sunday morning and have breakfast together. However they try to out-cool each other, and both leave for their games thinking the other is no longer interested. They both lose their Sunday games and when their busses arrive at the college late, national TV News awaits them.

TP: The vindictive reporter tries to pry dirt out of each of them. Each ends up telling her, “Get out ‘a my face.”

MM-7: Plan victory: They finally see no way other than to appear on the Dr. Phil Show (equivalent). The night before, Peter wants to make up with Jeannie to make sure they’re okay with each other, but he can’t find her. Jeannie is with the hypnotist convincing him to bring her through Joan of Arc’s death experience.

TP: NOW Jeannie needs to find Peter but he’s not in his room because he out looking for her.

MM-8: Conclusion, Victory out of the flames of defeat: They go on the show. Things start to go wrong, the audience taunts and prods them to fight, BUT they begin to do what they have always done best, defend one another. They stand, take over the show, tell off the world for allowing themselves to be polarized and always ready to take “sides.” They know one another so well, they contrapuntally expound their positions telling the world what it needs to know. Then they set an example of forgiveness to the world.

TP: Concluding with Peter speaking on behalf of his past self, the Bishop asking Jeannie, as Joan of Arc to forgive him. At this point Jeannie tells him and the world what she’d experienced the night before, and that now she knows that she forgave him nearly 600 years before with her last dying breath to God, “just before the pain went away.” They embrace and crossfade to, 4-years later, the same embrace at the altar.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Three Gradients: <div>

[NOTE: Pasting my work here caused it all to turn red and I can not change the color.]

<div>What I learned doing this assignment is an organized process for developing the important milestones in the transformation of characters’ go-to traits. </div><div>
</div><div>1. What is the Emotional Gradient you’ll use? “We sometimes chase between being chased by devils or drawn by angles in the same direction.” ~ me © 1982. </div><div>Therefore, for both my main characters, I’ll use both the Forced and Desired emotional gradients, as outlined in #2. Below. Of course, there will be strong elements of the Action and Challenge gradients for motivations etc. </div><div>
</div><div>2. For each emotion of that gradient: </div><div>Peter’s Desired change comes from his desire for Jeannie: </div><div>Excitement: They meet and enjoy one another. </div><div>Doubt: Jeannie too easily accepts the Dean’s terms that they do not associate on campus. </div><div>Hope: Their ice-cream parlor trysts and developing relationship. </div><div>Discouragement: The news gets out, eventually becoming international news. </div><div>Courage: Faces the Monsignor and eventually agrees to appear on TV. </div><div>Triumph: They change the world by example. </div><div>
</div><div>Peter’s Forced change comes from Society’s distain for his past persona: </div><div>Denial: Can’t believe his friends shared what was told them in strict confidentiality. </div><div>Anger: Frustrations begin to get projected on Jeannie, in the library scene and break up. </div><div>Bargaining: Tries to bargain with the Monsignor and often with Jeannie. </div><div>Depression: He’s been excommunicated, he’s broken up with Jeannie, he gets his first non “A” grade. </div><div>Acceptance: No other way out, he agrees to appear on the Dr. Phil (equivalent) show. </div><div>
</div><div>Jeannie’s Desired change comes from her desire for Peter: </div><div>Excitement: They meet and enjoy one another. </div><div>Doubt: Peter too easily accepts the Dean’s terms that they do not associate on campus. </div><div>Hope: Their ice-cream parlor trysts and developing relationship. </div><div>Discouragement: The news gets out, eventually becoming international news. </div><div>Courage: Faces Peter, eventually faces her/Joan of Arc’s death experience. </div><div>Triumph: They change the world by example. </div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>Peter’s Gradients: </div><div>Emotion: Watches Joan of Arc being burned, feels guilty. </div><div>Action: Dr. Nedeau helps him realize it was many lives ago and he’s made sufficient changes i.e. no longer feel guilty about drawing on the wall as a two-year-old. </div><div>Weakness: He still feels guilty about drawing on the wall at two. </div><div>Challenge: Discover’s Jeannie was once Joan of Arc. </div><div>Weakness: Deep guilt resurfaces. </div><div>Challenge: Tries to stop a confrontation with a big guy. </div><div>Weakness: Peter guts gut punched and sees Jeannie knock the big guy down. </div><div>Challenge: Tries to reenter the Rathskeller to help Jeannie who’s being arrested. </div><div>Weakness: Allows himself to get swept out by others fleeing arrest. </div><div>Challenge: At dinner where Jeannie thinks Peter is trying to get in her pants. </div><div>Weakness: His explanation leads to greater misunderstanding. </div><div>Challenge: Jeannie honestly tells Peter about his face while hypnotized. </div><div>Weakness: Perter gets defensive and feels guilty. </div><div>Challenge: The College Campus News learns of their story. </div><div>Weakness: The interview outside the campus gate goes poorly. </div><div>Challenge: The news goes viral and international. </div><div>Weakness: Peter fears the worst, that he’s the bad guy. </div><div>Challenge: Peter begins to receive hate messages and even death threats. </div><div>Weakness: Peter reacts with fear that escalates the problem. </div><div>Challenge: Jeannie suggests they appear on a popular TV show to demonstrate to the world that they are just two normal college students. </div><div>Weakness: Peter fears this, disagrees, and storms off. </div><div>Challenge: They meet at breakfast where their teams are housed. </div><div>Weakness: Both out-cool one another giving each the impression they’re uninterested. </div><div>Challenge: Major network TV greets team busses to interview them. </div><div>Weakness: Peter tells the disingenuous news woman to “get out of my face.” </div><div>Challenge: He can’t find Jeannie the evening before the TV interview to make up first. Weakness: On TV things start to go sideways between each of them and the audience. Challenge: Things have gone far enough. </div><div>Action: They team up together, contrapuntally telling off the live audience (and presumably the home audience around the world) bringing forth all they had learned from one another. They do the one thing they do best, defend each other. They both display that they’ve completed their transformations which coordinate perfectly. </div><div>
</div><div>Jeannie’s Gradients: </div><div>Challenge: Jeannie resists the approaches of a young man. </div><div>Weakness (old way): She puts him in an arm bar and escorts him out. </div><div>Challenge: Her boss tries to admonish her for doing so. </div><div>Weakness: Jeannie gets fired for arguing with him. </div><div>Challenge: Jeanie discovers she was once Joan of Arc. </div><div>Weakness: She argues with Dr. Nadeau about being suspicious of authority. </div><div>Challenge: A big Guy punches Peter in the gut. </div><div>Weakness: Jeannie knocks him down with an uppercut to the jaw. </div><div>Challenge: Jeannie believes Peter’s trying to get in her pants. </div><div>Weakness: She assumes he’s like her former boyfriend and storms out. </div><div>Challenge: They have a simultaneous hypnotism that goes wrong. </div><div>Weakness: Jeannie decides to just put it out of her mind. </div><div>Challenge: They begin meeting off campus at an ice-cream parlor until their story, being outed, draws them too much attention. </div><div>Weakness: They discontinue their meetings. </div><div>Challenge: They meet at hotel breakfast between travel games. </div><div>Weakness: Both out-cool one another giving the impression they’re uninterested. </div><div>Challenge: Major network TV greets team busses to interview them. </div><div>Challenge: Jeannie also tells the disingenuous news woman to “get out of my face.” Challenge: Jeannie convinced Dr. Nadeau to take her through Joan of Arc’s death experience the evening before the TV interview. </div><div>Weakness: It completely shakes Jeannie to the core, still upset backstage… </div><div>Challenge: On TV things go sideways between each of them and the audience. </div><div>Action: Jeanie stands and addresses the audience with courageous clarity </div><div>Challenge: Things have gone far enough. </div><div>Action: They team up together, contrapuntally telling off the live audience (and presumably the home audience around the world) bringing forth all they had learned from one another. They do the one thing they do best, defend each other. They both display that they’ve completed their transformations which coordinate perfectly.</div>

In a way, they improve the world while saving a wonderful romance.

</div>

• This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  Wayne Petitto.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Lead Characters

What I learned from this assignment is how to intensify conflict and oppression with more dynamic characters and how to better integrate their past life experiences into their current day wounds and “old way” traits that need the change.

1. Transformational Log Line: Jeannie & Peter were respectively Joan-of-Arc and Bishop Pierre Cauchon (who’d burned her at the stake) in their past lives. Today they are dating as they discover their past lives and experience underlying spiritual wounds that plague their lives and relationship.

2. Change Agents: Jeanie is Peter’s Change agent as his growing love for her motivates him to stand up for himself, see people as faillible and redeemable with forgiveness and grace. Peter is Jeanie’s change agent as her growing love for him motivates her to forgive men specifically Peter, and help them free both their souls.

3. Transformable characters: Peter needs to forgive himself and everyone around him, and to stand up for himself, finding the courage in faith over dogma. Jeannie needs to forgive men and forgive people through grace and understanding.

4. The Oppression: Society oppresses Peter and Jeannie and over-pressures their relationship. When the world learns of their past lives, Peter receives death threats, and Jeannie receives worse, requests for healing from terminal diseases.

The Betrayers: Josh & Smitty are the only fellow students that they confide with, and who eventually leak the story which ends escalating from campus news to world news.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s Transformational Journey

What I learned from this lesson is to better define the essence of my character’s changes, thus more effectively bringing the audience on the journey to new ways of looking at things.

1. Logline: In 1431 Bishop Cauchon burns Joan of Arc to death. Today they are dating.

2. OLD WAYS:

Jeanie (past life Joan of Arc): Unforgiving of men, authority, social wrongs.

Peter (past life Bishop Cauchon): Proud, Judgmental & unforgiving of women & sinners.

3. NEW WAYS:

Jeanie: Trust Peter, sets example of forgiveness to the world.

Peter: Sets example of tolerance, strength in humility to the world.

[Wayne Petitto]

Wayne’s First Three Decisions

What I learned from this lesson is that although these concepts of truth, protagonist change, and audience change may be intrinsic, making a conscious effort and process for empowering and enhancing them pays off many times over.

1. My profound truth: We must forgive ourselves and others before we can progress.

2. My movie will cause the audience to experience a profound example of how people can forgive the most egregious wrong in order to love one another. Thus they should desire to unburden themselves and each other likewise.

3. The entertainment vehicle is the story of a young couple who discovers that in a past life they were Joan of Arc and the Bishop who burned her to death.

[Wayne Petitto]

I am not able to paste my answers here.

Please advise.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  Wayne Petitto. Reason: Wayne Petitto’s Analysis of Groundhog Day What I learned from this lesson is why Groundhog Day was so successful as a studio investment and as a movie. It is a charactures of transformation itself by repeating the same day for everyone accept the protagonist as though time stopped in a short loop until he had no other way but to sincerely change his ways. 1. What is the Transformational Journey of this movie? Phil is trapped in an endless loop of Groundhog day until he makes a specific change in his life. 2. Lead characters: o Change Agent: Groundhog Day that will repeat seemingly endlessly. o Transformable Character: Phil the weatherman. o Why the right character? He’s obnoxious and desperately need to change. o What is the Oppression? The same day repeating itself endlessly. 3. How are we lured in, and what causes us to connect? How extremely Phil is egotistical we enjoy seeing him suffer (at first). 4. Character(s) who are changed the most: Phil who must make a change to end the spell. What is the profound journey? His “old ways” was to be completely self-centered egotistical ass. His “new way” at the conclusion waws to sincerely care about others more than himself. 5. The gradient the change? He went through the usual steps to acceptance (and then some) Denial: Couldn’t believe it, tried to explain it away. Anger: punches old classmate, lashes out, becomes even worse of a person, etc. Bargaining: Starts to find ways to take advantage of the situation and people. Uses the situation to get things he wants, sex, money, etc. Depression: To the point of multiple suicides. Acceptance: Uses the advantage of knowing everything & everyone to gain acclaim & trust, but not satisfactory. Discovers he loves Rita. Tries all his learned ways to impress her, but is not sincere about her, only for himself. Finally, he discovers that he can sincerely help the town’s people unselfishly (even if the kid he saves never says thanks) and that includes caring for Rita and exposing his vulnerability to her… THEN the change is complete, and time can go on. 6. How is the “old way” challenged? He simply is destined to repeat the day until he self improves and begins to enjoy the “simple people” and sincere life helping others. After trying all other kinds of life and advantages, he finds satisfaction in being sincerely nice, not just actin the part. 7. Profound moments of the movie? The first repeat wakeup. His first suicide (killing his old ways). Discovering he cares for Rita. Playing piano as the life of the party. Waking up with Rita still there. 8. What are the most profound lines of the movie? “Ya make your choices and ya live with them.” Oh, same old, same old.” “The first time I saw you something happened to me.” “Today is tomorrow!” 9. How ending pays off: 6:00 AM but Rita’s there and everything is different! “Today is tomorrow!” Phil is a completely new man, in love, and loving life! 10. What is the Profound Truth of this movie? Life can’t go on without a sincere change of self

[Wayne Petitto]

I am Wayne F. Petitto.

I agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Wayne Petitto]

Hi all,

Wayne Petitto, long time member of SU, written 4 scripts plus a few drafts in various stages. I expect to learn more about transformational journey scripts since, they are my forte.

I have 72 years of life experience, education, world travel, military operations, business ownership, and management to draw from as I finally get to do what I’ve always wanted to do. Create movies that transform audiences, making people better for having experienced them.

I love a challenge!

[Wayne Petitto]

Hi Michael,

I’m writing RomCom but there are ultimately serious aspects, so Rom-Dram-Com.

Although more than two genre seem to be frowned upon, I don’t think there’ll be a lot of frowning in the audience.

[Wayne Petitto]

Nice concept. Can’t wait to see this tangled web develop and unravel…

Question: Are you writing this on Word or something then copy/paste into the block?

I’m finding, I have to type it strait into the response block as it doesn’t take the paste.

[Wayne Petitto]

Perhaps we can trade scripts for review when we get that far.