William Beasley
Forum Replies Created
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is that there are many ways to express attraction without uttering the words.
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Ally is an aspiring singer/songwriter who has the chance to impress a rock star a possibly have her own career while Jack as an established rock star recognizes Ally’s talent and wants to help her.
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What I learned was how important it can be in a triangle situation to clearly reveal the stakes for each person to expand the areas of conflict by letting the characters express their emotions and reveal their traits.
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What makes the characters great from a writing perspective is that Danny is hell-bent to get his ex-wife Tess back from her current casino owner boyfriend who he believes doesn’t really love her like he does so much that he’s willing to risk going back to jail if his elaborate plan to rob the casino’s fail. Tess is adamant that she doesn’t want to return to the uncertain life she had being married to Danny, preferring the stability of being with Terry and wondering if Danny can convince her to change her mind.
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What I learned rewriting my scene/character is that creating a power struggle opens up many opportunities for on-going conflicts.
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These characters are great from a writing perspective demonstrating the power struggle conflict because the coach and quarterback have different ideas about who has control over the team so we can expect additional power struggles.
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What I learned rewriting my scene/character is the need to have the differences between the mismatched characters be explored through some tension before they agree to a common goal.
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The two characters are great from a writing perspective because they are from different cultures about to go on a jiurney through the segregated South to face unknown challenges.
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These characters are great from a writing perspective because they are worthy opponents who share similar traits but from different sides of the law and the scene reveals the tension between them that we know will lead to their eventual showdown.
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What I learned rewriting my scene/character is using words, actions, traits, and emotions to establish why these characters belong.
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What makes the Red and Seabiscuit characters great from a writing perspective is that both display their fighting spirit and creates the drama to see if both characters can control their fighting spirits to work together to become racing champions.
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What makes the Annie character great from a writing perspective is her inner conflict once she’s heard Sam’s story that he would provide the “magic” in love that she doesn’t experience with her fiance. Sam is a great character as he’s trying to escape all the great memories of his late wife and not believing he can find another love like the one they had.
What I learned is the need to foreshadow through emotions, words or actions why characters belong together.
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WILLIAM. MOSTLY PLAYS BUT A COUPLE I’VE ALSO WRITTEN AS SCREENPLAYS. I HOPE TO UTILIZE WHAT I’LL LEARN HERE TO GIVE ME CHARACTERS MORE DEPTH. I’VE BEEN HELPING OTHER PLAYWRIGHTS WORK OUT THE LOGIC IN THEIR PLAYS.
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WILLIAM BEASLEY. I AGREE TO THE TERMS OF THIS RELEASE FORM.
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DAY 11 WILLIAM BEASLEY FAVORITE COMEDY
TITLE : WHO’S ON FIRST DOWN?
INT KITCHEN – Early Sunday Afternoon in Fall
WIFE (late 20’s) sitting at kitchen table in nightwear having coffee while reading the paper. Gets up to look for TV section.
ENTER
HUSBAND (late 20’s) wearing NY Giants hat, jersey, and jeans.
HUSBAND
I thought you were leaving.
WIFE
Changed my mind. Did you see the TV section earlier?
HUSBAND
Wasn’t looking for it. Why?
WIFE
I want to see what’s coming on.
HUSBAND
If you don’t find it, we can always check on the TV.
HUSBAND takes out buffalo wings, smells.
HUSBAND
Hmm. Can’t wait to sink my teeth into these.
WIFE
What about dinner?
HUSBAND
(POINTS) I got mine.
WIFE
Hope there’s enough to share.
HUSBAND
Just enough for one.
WIFE
One Army.
HUSBAND
Can’t you fix yourself a sandwich?
WIFE
It’s Sunday. I should be able to have one good meal a week.
HUSBAND
Maybe we can order out after the game?
WIFE
(SHOCKED) Order out? You?
HUSBAND
I said maybe, no promises.
HUSBAND opens large chip bag and starts counting how many he puts in bowl.
HUSBAND
Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen. There.
HUSBAND takes out a few dip jars and points.
HUSBAND
Eenie, meenie, meinie, mo.
HUSBAND chooses one.
WIFE shakes her head.
WIFE
I’ve got my own Felix Ungar.
WIFE grabs a handful of chips and starts munching.
HUSBAND
Neatness counts.
INT LIVING ROOM
HUSBAND starts setting up snacks on two trays in Living Room. He arranges then rearranges them.
HUSBAND
Can you bring me a beer?
WIFE
Sure.
INT KITCHEN
WIFE gets beer and hands to HUSBAND.
INT LIVING ROOM
HUSBAND reaches for beer and knocks over chips.
HUSBAND
Damn.
WIFE
Now you’re Oscar Madison; you’re your own Odd Couple. Let me get my broom.
HUSBAND
Are you going to jump on it and fly away?
WIFE
If only I had a witch’s power, I’d twitch my nose and live in a world of my own.
WIFE twitches her nose.
WIFE
It may have worked for Samantha on “Bewitched” or Jeanie on ‘I Dream of Jeanie” but not for me.
WIFE sweeps up chips.
HUSBAND
Can you bring me the chip bag?
WIFE
Sure.
WIFE gets chip bag and brings it to him.
WIFE
How many do you want?
HUSBAND
My usual fifteen.
WIFE counts out fifteen chips into bowl then grabs a handful for herself.
WIFE
Here you go.
HUSBAND
Thanks.
HUSBAND looks around.
HUSBAND
Seen remote?
WIFE
You do sometimes.
HUSBAND moves to TV.
HUSBAND
I can’t find the button to turn it on.
WIFE
You’ve got the same problem with me.
HUSBAND
If only TV remotes worked the same on woman.
HUSBAND finds remote.
HUSBAND
Here it is. Since we got the new big screen yesterday I’ve been waiting for this moment so that the first thing I watched is my Giants playing football.
HUSBAND turns on TV and sits down on sofa.
WIFE stands in front of TV and does a sexy dance.
WIFE
What do you think?
HUSBAND
I think you should move your ass from in front of the TV.
WIFE
Why watch the game when you can watch me?
HUSBAND
I can watch you anytime.
WIFE climbs on his lap.
HUSBAND
What are you doing?
WIFE takes off his hat and puts it on.
WIFE
(SEDUCTIVELY) Why don’t we . . .
HUSBAND
Didn’t we last night?
WIFE
No law says we can’t do it again.
HUSBAND
I need more time to recuperate.
WIFE
No, you don’t.
HUSBAND
How do you know?
WIFE
That’s not a gun I’m feeling in your pocket.
HUSBAND
Tell you what. Why don’t you go take a nice relaxing bath and nap and I’ll be up in a few hours?
WIFE
Why wait? You’re up now.
HUSBAND
Can’t I just watch my game in peace?
WIFE
I’m trying to give you a piece.
HUSBAND
After the game, please?
WIFE
I’ll try to keep it warm for you.
HUSBAND
Thank you.
HUSBAND takes hat back and puts on.
WIFE sits down on sofa and takes chip bag.
HUSBAND
Why are you sitting?
WIFE
Watching the game with my loving hubby.
HUSBAND
But you don’t understand sports?
WIFE
You can teach me. Which game is this?
HUSBAND
Football.
WIFE
Which one is that?
HUSBAND
You’ve never seen football?
WIFE
I wasn’t into sports.
HUSBAND
Not even from your father or two brothers?
WIFE
They did their thing; I did mine.
HUSBAND
Seriously, you’ve never seen a football game?
WIFE
I may have overheard some sports games, but I wasn’t paying attention.
The players look so big on this screen. Who’s playing?
HUSBAND
The Giants and Cowboys.
WIFE
The San Francisco Giants are playing?
HUSBAND
No, the New York Giants. The San Francisco Giants play baseball.
WIFE
Oh. Where are they playing?
HUSBAND
The Meadowlands in New Jersey.
WIFE
Why is a New York team playing in Jersey?
HUSBAND
It’s a long story that I’ll tell you some other time.
WIFE
Hey, the team in white just scored a home run.
HUSBAND
A touchdown.
WIFE
That wasn’t a homerun?
HUSBAND
Home runs are in baseball.
WIFE
Oh, how was I supposed to know?
HUSBAND
I’ll explain. In baseball, you score by hitting the ball with a bat and touching the bases.
In football, you score by running, catching or kicking the ball through the end zone.
WIFE
And that’s when that loud guy yells gooooooaaaaaallllll?
HUSBAND
No. that’s soccer.
WIFE
Isn’t soccer, football?
HUSBAND
Everybody in the world calls soccer football except us.
WIFE
Why do we have to be different?
HUSBAND
That’s just the way it is.
WIFE
They only score goals in soccer?
HUSBAND
They score goals in hockey too.
WIFE
They couldn’t think of another name to call their scores, so people don’t get confused?
HUSBAND
It’s not confusing. Don’t let me keep you from anything.
WIFE
You’re not keeping me from anything.
HUSBAND
You’re sure?
WIFE
I’m sure. Why are they lining up?
HUSBAND
After a team scores, they kick the ball off to the other team.
WIFE
. . . Why’d everybody gang up on that poor guy?
HUSBAND
To keep him from running and scoring.
WIFE
Aren’t they supposed to score?
HUSBAND
The team that scores the most wins, but the other team tries to stop them.
Okay, the Giants have the ball, first and ten.
WIFE
I don’t see the base.
HUSBAND
What base?
WIFE
First base.
HUSBAND
That’s baseball. Baseball has bases.
WIFE
And football has foots?
HUSBAND
No, it has yards.
WIFE
Aren’t yards made of feet?
HUSBAND
Football is measured in downs. A team has four downs to move the ball ten yards
to get a new set of downs until they either reach the end zone or kick the ball back to the other team.
WIFE
So, who’s on first down?
HUSBAND
Never mind. Was there something else you’d rather be doing?
WIFE
I’ll just stay out here with you.
HUSBAND
You don’t have to . . .
Yells out.
Damn, interception.
WIFE
He’s running away with the ball from everybody.
HUSBAND
Yells.
Catch him.
WIFE
Nobodies stopping him.
HUSBAND
Yells.
Get him . . . Damn.
WIFE
Did he score a run?
HUSBAND
He scored a touchdown.
WIFE
Right, touchdown. Why aren’t you happy?
HUSBAND
I’m rooting for the Giants.
WIFE
Oh, that’s why you’re wearing all that stuff. . . . Is that guy going to kick a basket?
HUSBAND
A field goal. Baskets are in basketball.
WIFE
Are those the cute guys who run around in shorts?
HUSBAND
Yes.
WIFE
They’re lining up for the kick on.
HUSBAND
Kickoff.
WIFE
Oh, kickoff . . . there it goes . . . The guy waiting is supposed to run with it?
HUSBAND
Sometimes . . . ooh.
WIFE
Why did he drop the ball?
HUSBAND
He fumbled it.
WIFE
The man in the other uniform picked it up and now he’s running to the finish line.
HUSBAND
Damn.
WIFE
Is he supposed to throw the ball down like that and dance?
HUSBAND
Can I get you a beer?
HUSBAND rises.
WIFE
That would be sweet.
HUSBAND
Be right back.
HUSBAND exits to kitchen, returns with beer and cell phone.
HUSBAND
Here you go, my love. Oh, the guys just texted me to come down to Jeremy’s to
catch the game. I’ll be back after the game so help yourself .
WIFE
Okay, dear. Have fun.
HUSBAND
I will.
EXIT HUSBAND
WIFE
I thought he’d never leave.
WIFE grabs remote and changes the channel.
WIFE
Now I can finish binge-watching Bridgerton. I’m up to episode five.
The end
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DAY 9 WILLIAM BEASLEY ACTION/PROPS
WHAT I LEARNED FROM THIS ASSIGNMENT IS ADDING PHYSICAL AND PROP HUMOR TO IMPROVE THE SCRIPT
COMIC SITUATION OUTLINE
HUSBAND PREPARING TO WATCH FOOTBALL GAME
WIFE KEEPS INTERUPTING
HUSBAND GETS ANNOYED AND LEAVES
WIFE GETS TO WATCH HER SHOW
MAIN AREA OF INCONGRUENCE
MISINTERPRETATION
ACTION/PROPS ALREADY IN SCENE
FOOD – WINGS, CHIPS, DIP, BEER
ARRANGING FOOD
NAPKINS, TOWEL
BOWLS
TRAY
RECLINER
BROOM
FLIRTING
BIG SCREEN TV
ADDITIONAL ACTION/PROPS
FOOTBALL
HAT
NEWSPAPER
BRAINSTORM INCONGRUENT WAYS
FOOD – WINGS, CHIPS, DIP, BEER
ARRANGING FOOD ON TRAY
BEING NEAT, THEN SLOPPY
NAPKINS,
TAKES ONE, WIFE BRINGS MORE
BOWLS
MEASURING PRECISE AMOUNTS, COUNTING CHIPS, WIFE GRABS HSANDFUL
RECLINER
FINDING RIGHT POSITION
BIG SCREEN TV
HUGGING, SIZE COMMENTS
BROOM
SWEEP, NO FLY AWAY TIL AFTER GAME
FLIRTING
SEXY DANCING, SITTING ON LAP, GET OFF
FOOTBALL
TOSSING UP AND DROPPING, PROP TO WIFE
LUCKY HAT
WHERE? WASHED?
NEWSPAPER
SEEN TV SECTION? BOTH LOOK.
REWRITE OUTLINE OF SCENE
HUSBAND
FOOD – WINGS, CHIPS, DIP, BEER
SEPERATES FOOD BY HALVES, MEASURING ITEMS INTO BOWLS, CHOOSING WHICH DIP
TWO BEERS IN AN ICE BUCKET
ARRANGING FOOD ON TRAY
PUTS TOWEL DOWN, ARRANGES BOWLS, THEN REARRANGES THEM SEVERAL TIMES
PUTS ON HAT DIFFERENT WAYS
PICKS UP FOOTBALL AND DROPS
SITS DOWN ON RECLINER AND LOOKS FOR RIGHT POSITION
WIFE
WATCHING HIS PREPARATION WHILE READING NEWSPAPER
FELIX UNGER COMMENT
HUSBAND SPILLS SOME FOOD
OSCAR MADISON COMMENT
BRINGS NAPKINS
TOPPER – ODD COUPLE COMMENT “YOU’RE YOUR OWN ODD COUPLE”
WIFE GETS BROOM
TOPPER – HUSBAND MAKES WITCH COMPARISON “FLY AWAY TIL AFTER THE GAME”
COMMENTS ON SIZE OF TV
TOPPER – THE BIGGER, THE BETTER
WIFE ASKS ABOUT DINNER
GOT MINE
I’LL SHARE,
ENOUGH FOR ONE
TOPPER – ONE ARMY
HUSBAND
SEEN REMOTE?
YOU DO SOMETIMES
CAN’T FIND BUTTON TO TURN ON
WHAT ELSE IS NEW?
TOPPER – ALWAYS TROUBLE TURNING THINGS ON
WIFE FLIRTING
SEXY DANCE IN FRONT OF TV
MOVE YOUR ASS AND DON’T BLOCK THE TV
SITS ON HUSBAND’S LAP
WHY DON’T WE . . .
DIDN’T WE LAST NIGHT?
NO LAW CAN’T DO AGAIN
NEED TIME TO RECUPERATE
NOT WHAT I’M FEELING
TAKE A NAP AND I’LL BE UP LATER
TOPPER – WHY WAIT, YOU’RE UP NOW
GAME STARTS
WIFE ASKS DUMB QUESTIONS MIXING UP VARIOUS SPORTS
I.E.
BASEBALL HAS BASES
AND FOOTBALL HAS FOOTS?
FOOTBALL HAS YARDS
AREN’T YARDS MADE OF FEET?
TOPPER – WHO’S ON FIRST DOWN?
HUSBAND GETS ANNOYED, LEAVES
WIFE GETS TO WATCH HER SHOW
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DAY 8 WILLIAM BEASLEY TOPPER OUTLINE
WHAT I LEARNED FROM THIS ASSIGNMENT IS HOW TO BRAINSTORM TO COME UP WITH TOPPERS.
SETTUP SNACK AREA
FUNNY MOMENT – HUSBAND SETS UP NEATLY .
PUNCHLINE – LIKE FELIX UNGER.
FUNNY MOMENT – HUSBAND GETS MESSY
PUNCHLINE -NO, LIKE OSCAR MADISON.
TOPPER – YOU’RE YOUR OWN ODD COUPLE.
DINNER PLANS
FUNNY MOMENT – DID YOU GET DINNER?
PUNCHLINE – I GOT MINE.
FUNNY MOMENT – I’LL SHARE YOURS.
PUNCHLINE – JUST ENOUGH FOR ONE.
TOPPER – ONE ARMY.
TURNING ON TV
FUNNY MOMENT – SEEN REMOTE?
PUNCHLINE – YOU DO SOMETIMES.
FUNNY MOMENT – CAN FIND BUTTON TO TURN ON.
PUNCHLINE – WHAT ELSE IS NEW?
TOPPER – YOU ALWAYS HAVE TROUBLE TURNING THINGS ON.
FLIRTING
FUNNY MOMENT – WHY DON’T WE . . .
PUNCHLINE – DIDN’T WE LAST NIGHT?
FUNNY MOMENT – NEED TIME TO RECUPERATE
PUNCHLINE – NOT FROM WHAT I’M FEELING.
TOPPER – UP IN A FEW HOURS? YOUR UP NOW.
DUMB QUESTIONS
FUNNY MOMENT – BASEBALL HAS BASES.
PUNCHLINE – AND FOOTBALL HAS FOOTS?
FUNNY MOMENT – FOOTBALL HAS YARDS.
PUNCHLINE – AREN’T YARDS MADE OF FEET?
TOPPER – SO WHO’S ON FIRST DOWN?
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DAY 7 WILLIAM BEASLEY BRAINSTORM SESSION 1 REDUX
WHAT I LEARNED FROM THIS ASSIGNMENT IS HOW TO USE BRAINSTORMING TO COME UP WITH DIFFERENT COMIC SCENARIO’S.
SCENE OUTLINE
MARRIED COUPLE HAS DIFFERENT PLANS FOR WATCHING THEIR BRAND NEW BIG SCREEN TV ON A FALL SUNDAY AFTERNOON.
COMIC SITUATION
MISINTERPRETATION
CHARACTERS WITH COMIC LOGLINES
FRUGAL HUSBAND HAS PLACED A LARGE BET ON OUTCOME OF FOOTBALL GAME.
SCHEMING WIFE WHO PRETENDS NOT TO KNOW SPORTS HOPING HUSBAND WILL LEAVE.
POSSIBLE FUNNY MOMENTS
PLAYING LOUD MUSIC
TALKING LOUDLY ON PHONE
RUNNING VACUUM CLEANER
FINDING WAYS TO BLOCK VIEW
SETTING UP SNACK AREA
EATING THE SNACKS
WANTS DISCUSSIONS
RUN ERRANDS
TURNING TV ON
FLIRTING
DUMB QUESTIONS
DINNER PLANS
OUTLINE
HUSBAND PREPARING TO WATCH GAME
WIFE KEEPS INTERRUPTING
HUSBAND GETS ANNOYED AND LEAVES
WIFE CAN NOW WATCH WHAT SHE WANTS
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DAY 7 WILLIAM BEASLEY COMEDY BRAINSTORM SESSION 1
WHAT I LEARNED FROM THIS ASSIGNMENT IS HOW TO USE BRAINSTORMING TO COME UP WITH DIFFERENT SCENARIO’S.
SCENE OUTLINE
MARRIED COUPLE HAS DIFFERENT PLANS FOR WATCHING THEIR BRAND NEW BIG SCREEN TV ON A FALL SUNDAY AFTERNOON.
COMIC SITUATION
MISINTERPRETATION WITH SOME WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE RESPONSES.
CHARACTERS WITH COMIC LOGLINES
HUSBAND HAS BEEN PLANNING ON RELAXING AND WATCHING HIS FAVORITE FOOTBALL TEAM.
WIFE HAS PLAN TO WATCH A DVD WITH HER GIRLFRIENDS
POSSIBLE FUNNY MOMENTS
PLAYS LOUD MUSIC
TALKS LOUDLY ON HER PHONE
STARTS CLEANING THE LIVING ROOM
KEEPS BLOCKING HIS VIEW
ASKS A LOT OF DUMB QUESTIONS ABOUT THE GAME
WANTS TO DISCUSS THEIR RELATIONSHIP, BILLS
OUTLINE
HUSBAND HAS PREPARED TO WATCH GAME WITH HIS SNACKS AND BEVERAGES
WIFE INTRERRUPTS HIS VIEWING BY ASKING A LOT OF QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT SHE SEES
HUSBAND GETS ANNOYED AND DECIDES TO WATCH GAME ELSEWHERE.
WIFE CALLS HER FRIENDS TO COME OVER.
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DAY 6 WILLIAM BEASLEY PUNCHLINES
WHAT I LEARNED FROM THIS ASSIGNMENT IS HOW TO USE VARIOUS WAYS TO GET A GREAT PUNCHLINE.
Apartment of senior citizens Gladys and Eddie. both in their late 60’s.
GLADYS
Eddie, you coming to bed?
EDDIE
In a moment, Gladys.
GLADYS
You told me that fifteen minutes ago.
EDDIE
Don’t rush me, dear.
GLADYS
Are you still watching that silly football game?
EDDIE
It’s not a silly game, the Giants are playing.
GLADYS
You said you were gonna turn it off and come to bed.
EDDIE
Switches channels
I’m not watching the game.
GLADYS
Then why aren’t you in here?
EDDIE
Switches channel back to game, silently rooting..
I’m coming.
GLADYS
You could’ve come several times already.
EDDIE
What you say?
GLADYS
Never mind. Hurry up. I’ve my sexy negligee on.
EDDIE
You found it?
GLADYS
Of course, darling.
EDDIE
I thought it would take you much longer to find it.
GLADYS
Oh no. It was in the box with our other toys.
EDDIE
You found the box too?
GLADYS
I knew exactly where it was.
EDDIE
You did?
GLADYS
Just because we haven’t used it doesn’t mean I haven’t kept track of its location.
EDDIE
Why would you need to keep track of it?
GLADYS
Oh, you know, make sure everything is still in working order if and when we need them. Make sure the batteries are still working.
EDDIE
Well, are they?
GLADYS
Every last one.
EDDIE
Why do you need those when I’m here all the time?
GLADYS
Your being here and being available are two different things.
EDDIE
I’m always available to you if you ask.
GLADYS
I asked you fifteen minutes ago.
EDDIE
And I told you, in a moment.
GLADYS
ABSURD REQUEST
Can you bring me my puzzle book?
COMPARISON
Suppose I call Bob next door to fill in for you til you’re ready?
EXAGGERATION
Oh, my goodness. How will I ever last until then?
INSULT
You want me to wait a moment for two minutes of action?
METAPHOR
Your moments are coming like Christmas, once a year.
MISINTERPRETATION
I haven’t got a moment to spare today.
PARODY
First a moment, then an hour, then days.
RENAME
How many minutes are we talking about?
REVERSAL
I’ll start without you and maybe I won’t need you.
UNDERSTATEMENT
A moment is all it takes anyway.
I like the Comparison Punchline.
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DAY 5 WILLIAM BEASLEY CHARACTER INTRO
WHAT I LEARNED FROM THIS ASSIGNMENT IS TO USE THE COMEDY LOGLINE TO HELP MAKE THE CHARACTER FUNNY IN THE FIRST SCENE,
COMEDY LOGLINE – CONSTRUCTION WORKER WANTS TO BECOME A BALLERINA
MR. ENTERS STUDIO
MISS Can I help you?
MR. Are you the dance instructor?
MISS Yes, I’m Miss.
MR. Good. I’m Mr.
MISS Is your daughter one of my students?
MR. No.
MISS Then why are you here?
MR. I’d like some lessons.
MISS What kind of lessons? I teach ballet.
MR. That’s what I want. Ballet lessons.
MISS Why?
MR. As a young boy all I ever wanted was to take ballet lessons, but no, my parents forced me into playing football, and baseball, and basketball.
MISS You didn’t like playing sports?
MR. It was fun. But inside of me has always been the burning desire to be a ballerina.
MISS Can I ask what kind of work you do?
MR. Construction.
MISS A construction worker who wants to be a ballerina?
MR. It would mean the world to me.
MISS Won’t your construction friends make fun of you?
MR. Yeah, but I don’t care. I’ve gotta be me. Please, teach me?
MISS I don’t normally teach students your age.
MR. Wouldn’t that be age discrimination?
MISS A school is allowed to set age limits. And then there’s your size.
MR. You’re saying I’m too big?
MISS I don’t think they make tutu’s to fit you.
MR. Maybe I’ll sew my own.
MISS You know how to sew?
MR. And cook and clean.
MISS My. Your wife must be pleased that you help out around the house.
MR. I’m not married.
MISS Girlfriend?
MR. Not anymore.
MISS She found out your secret?
MR. She knew.
MISS Then why did you break up?
MR. If you must know, gay.
MISS You?
MR. Her.
MISS Oh . . . Tell you what. I’ll give you my number and address and you come over for dinner tonight about seven and we can discuss giving you some lessons.
MR. Okay. Wow. I’ll be one step closer to becoming a ballerina. But shouldn’t we meet here in the studio?
MISS Not for the lessons I have in mind. How about seven?
MR. Seven will be fine. Should I bring anything?
MISS Just come as you are. See you at seven.
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DAY 4 WILLIAM BEASLEY FUNNY SITUATIONS
WHAT I LEARNED FROM THIS ASSIGNMENT IS ANOTHER WAY TO CREATE A FUNNY SITUATION
HIM HOLDING HEAD
HIM What happened?
HER RISING
HER I’m not sure.
HIM I remember an explosion and you pushed me down here.
HER I didn’t mean to push you. I tripped.
HIM Where are we?
HER Looks like an old fallout shelter from the sixties.
MAN TAKES OUT CELL PHONE
HIM My cell’s not working.
HER Batteries dead?
HIM I charged it this morning.
HER Maybe there’s something on TV.
HER TURNS ON TV
No signal.
HIM No they didn’t.
HER Didn’t what?
HIM World War 3.
HER You might be right.
HIM PANICS
HIM We need to find shelter.
HER STRETCHES OUT HER ARMS
HER Hello.
HIM LOOKS AROUND
HIM Yeah. Water. We’ll need water.
HER GOES TO SINK AND TURNS ON WATER
HER Next.
HIM Fire, We need to start a fire.
HER TURNS ON STOVE BURNER
HIM Food. We’ve got to eat.
HER OPENS UP CABINETS
HER Looks like we’re well stocked.
HIM Oh, thank God.
HER Yes. Thank God. My name is Her.
HIM I’m Him. . . . We survived World War 3.
HER Looks we’ve got everything we’d need to survive.
HIM Everything . . . except . . .
HER Except what?
HIM You may look and act loke one but you’re not . . .
HER I’m not what?
HIM A man.
HER Thank God I don’t what I’d do if I had one of those things always dangling between my legs.
HIM You’re just jealous.
HER Ha. I’ve got several of them in all sizes, shapes and colors and I can them whenever I feel like and not be stuck with the same one for life.
HIM You ever have a real one?
HER Never wanted a real one. Have you ever had one of these?
HER POINTS TO HER GROIN
HIM Heavens no.
HER Guess what?
HIM Now, what?
HER We may be the last human beings on earth.
HIM Only us?
HER Just us.
HIM Humanity is doomed.
HER Unless . . .
HIM Unless what?
HER You and me . . .
HIM You and me what?
HER Keep the species going.
HIM How are we supposed to do that?
HER We’d have to have sex.
HIM Put my thing in your thing? Ugh. Can’t I just donate my sperm and you do whatever you have to do with it?
HER That would be my first choice, too. But what if it doesn’t work?
HIM It just has to work. Please, God. Make it work.
HER Guess we should start now.
HIM Right now?
HER Mankind is depending on us.
HIM FINDS A CUP
HIM For mankind.
HIM’S CELL PHONE RINGS
Hello? . . . Man, it’s you. You survived World War 3, too. . . . What? . . . No World War? . . . Where are you? . . . Home? . . . I’ll be right there.
HIM HANGS UP
Seems there was no World War and we’re not meant to be the saviors of mankind.
HER Thank God. How would we have delivered a baby and raised it? And my God, how would they have perpetuated the species?
HIM We’ll never have to know. Gotta go, Sweetie.
HER Nice meeting you, Him.
HIM Take care of yourself, Her.
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DAY 3 WILLIAM BEASLEY FUNNY SCENE
MAN I’ve been waiting a long time for this moment.
WOMAN I couldn’t sleep a wink last night. I had a feeling it would happen today.
MAN I can’t believe I’m going to ask you this.
WOMAN Neither can I.
MAN We’ve been through so much.
WOMAN And it’s made our friendship stronger.
MAN I thought about doing it before but the time wasn’t right.
WOMAN Serve no wine before it’s time.
MAN Right, the old Orson Welles commercial.
WOMAN Timing is everything.
MAN And the time is now.
MAN GETS DOWN ON HIS KNEES
Women, will you . . .
MAN COUGHS
WOMAN Take your time.
MAN I will. Will you . . .
MAN COUGHS AGAIN
WOMAN Do you need some water?
MAN I could use a sip.
WOMAN GETS SOME WATER AND HANDS TO MAN
WOMAN Here.
MAN RISES AND TAKES SIP, PUTS GLASS DOWN
MAN Thanks. Where were we?
WOMAN You were on your knees about to . . .
MAN Oh, yeah.
MAN GETS BACK DOWN ON HIS KNEES
Will you do me the favor of watching my dog while I go down to Puerto Rico for two weeks?
WOMAN Watch your dog?
MAN Yeah. What did you think I was gonna ask?
WOMAN What did you think I thought?
MAN That as a good friend you’d do me this favor.
WOMAN While you go off to Puerto Rico for two weeks of sun and fun?
MAN I’m sensing some hesitation.
WOMAN Hesitation? Hesitate this . . .
WOMAN RUSHES TOWARD MAN
MAN RISES AND RAISES ARMS TO DEFEND HIMSELF
MAN Wait.
WOMAN STOPS
So, your answer is no?
WOMAN My answer is HELL NO.
MAN Does this mean our friendship is over?
WOMAN Over. Kaput. Finito. I never want to see you again.
MAN Okay, then.
MAN GETS BACK DOWN ON HIS KNEES, TAKES OUT BOX FROM POCKET
Then accept this as my parting friendship gift to you.
MAN GIVES HER BOX
WOMAN What is this?
MAN Open it and see.
WOMAN TRIES TO GIVE BOX BACK
WOMAN I don’t want anything that would remind me of you.
MAN Our friendship is over. Accept the gift.
WOMAN OPENS BOX AND SEES RING
WOMAN Is this a joke?
MAN Since you refused to watch my dog, why don’t you put the ring on and come down to Puerto Rico with me?
WOMAN Wait. What?
MAN Will you marry me?
WOMAN LOOKS AT RING, TAKES IT OUT OF THE BOX
MAN TAKES RING AND PUTS IT ON HER FINGER
WOMAN Oh, yes.
THEY HUG
What i learned from this assignment is using the Setup and Punchline to create a funny scene.
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DAY 2 WILLIAM BEASLEY COMEDY PLOTS
PREMISE
WOMAN TAKING DRIVING TEST RUNS INTO RACE CAR DRIVER.
FISH OUT OF WATER
WOMAN HAS TO RUSH INJURED DRIVER THRU HEAVY TRAFFIC.
INCONGRUENT PAIRING
WOMAN IGNORES DRIVER’S DIRECTIONS AND ATTEMPTS TO FLIRT.
HILARIOUS PURPOSE
WITH DRIVER’S INJURY, WOMAN HAS TO TAKE DRIVER’S PLACE AT THE INDY 500 RACE.
CHARACTER
HOUSE PAINTER.
FISH OUT OF WATER
GETS ASKED TO PAINT A PORTRAIT.
INCONGRUENT PAIRING
ONLY TEACHER AVAILABLE IS A GRAFFITI ARTIST.
HILARIOUS PURPOSE
THE PORTRAIT REQUEST IS TO PAINT A PRESIDENTIAL PORTRAIT.
WHAT I’VE LEARNED DOING THIS ASSIGNMENT IS USING PLOTTING TECHNIQUES TO DEVELOP COMEDIC IDEAS.
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DAY 1 – ASSIGNMENT
TITLE WILLIAM BEASLEY FUNNY SCENE
FILM – HIS GAL FRIDAY
NOTE : HILDY HAS COME TO GIVE HER EX-HUSBAND BURNS THE NEWS THAT SHE’S ABOUT TO RE-MARRY BUT BURNS WANTS HER BACK AND KEEPS INTERRUPTING HER BY USING EXPOSITION TO REMIND HER (AND INFORM US) ABOUT THEIR PAST RELATIONSHIP.
BURNS
How long is it?
Hildy finishes lighting her cigarette, takes a puff, and fans out the match.
HILDY
How long is what?
BURNS
You know what. How long since we’ve seen each other?
NOTE : SETUP
HILDY
Let’s see. I was in Reno six weeks — then Bermuda… Oh, about four months,I guess. Seems
like yesterday to me.
NOTE: INCONGRUITY WITH HER TALKING ABOUT MONTHS BUT SEEMS LIKE YESTERDAY.
CLOSEUP BURNS
BURNS
(slyly)
Maybe it was yesterday. Been seeing me in your dreams?
MEDIUM CLOSE SHOT THE TWO
HILDY
(casually)
No — Mama doesn’t dream about you anymore, Walter. You wouldn’t know the old girl now.
BURNS
(with conviction)
Oh, yes I would. I’d know you any
time —
He grows lyrical and, rising from his seat, is about to start toward her, as he continues:
BURNS AND HILDY
(together)
— any place, anywhere —
He sits.
HILDY
(half-pityingly)
You’re repeating yourself! That’s
the speech you made the night you
proposed.
(she burlesques his
fervor)
“– any time — any place —
anywhere!”
NOTE : SETUP
CLOSE SHOT HILDY AND BURNS
BURNS
(growling)
I notice you still remember it.
HILDY
I’ll always remember it. If I hadn’t
remembered it, I wouldn’t have
divorced you.
NOTE: INCONGRUITY FROM PROPOSAL TO DIVORCE
BURNS
You know, Hildy, I sort of wish you
hadn’t done it.
NOTE: SETUP
HILDY
Done what?
BURNS
Divorced me. It sort of makes a fellow
lose faith in himself. It almost
gives him a feeling he wasn’t wanted.
HILDY
Holy mackerel! Look, Walter, that’s
what divorces are for.
BURNS
Nonsense. You’ve got the old-fashioned
idea that divorces are something
that last forever — till ‘death us
do part’. Why, a divorce doesn’t
mean anything today. It’s only a few
words mumbled over you by a judge.
We’ve got something between us nothing
can change.
NOTE: INCONGRUITY THAT DIVORCE SHOULDN’T BE AN ENDING
HILDY
I suppose that’s true in a way. I am
fond of you, Walter. I often wish
you weren’t such a stinker.
BURNS
Now, that’s a nice thing to say.
HILDY
Well, why did you promise me you
wouldn’t fight the divorce and then
try and gum up the whole works?
BURNS
Well, I meant to let you go — but,
you know, you never miss the water
till the well runs dry.
ANOTHER ANGLE
HILDY
A fellow your age, hiring an airplane
to write:
(she gestures above
to indicate sky-
writing)
‘Hildy: Don’t be hasty — remember
my dimple. Walter.! It held things
up twenty minutes while the Judge
ran out to watch it.
BURNS
Well, I don’t want to brag, but I’ve
still got the dimple — and in the
same place — I just acted like any
husband who doesn’t want to see his
home broken up.
NOTE : SETUP
HILDY
What home?
WALTER
What home? Don’t you remember the
home I promised you?
HILDY
Oh, yes — we were to have it right
after our honeymoon — honeymoon!
BURNS
Was it my fault? Did I know that
coal mine was going to have another
cave-in? I meant to be with you on
our honeymoon, Hildy — honest I
did.
HILDY
All I know is that instead of two
weeks in Atlantic City with my
bridegroom, I spent two weeks in a
coal mine with John Kruptzky — age
sixty-three — getting food and air
out of a tube! You don’t deny that.
Do you?
NOTE : INCONGRUITY OF HOME AND HONEYMOON SPENT WORKING.
NOTE : SETUP
BURNS
Deny it! I’m proud of it! We beat
the whole country on that story.
HILDY
Well, suppose we did? That isn’t
what I got married for. What’s the
good of — Look, Walter, I came up
here to tell you that you’ll have to
stop phoning me a dozen times a day —
sending twenty telegrams — all the
rest of it, because I’m —
BURNS
Let’s not fight, Hildy. Tell you
what. You come back to work on the
paper and if we find we can’t get
along in a friendly way, we’ll get
married again.
HILDY
What?!!
BURNS
I haven’t any hard feelings.
HILDY
Walter, you’re wonderful in a
loathesome sort of way. Now, would
you mind keeping quiet long enough
for me to tell you what I came up
here for?
NOTE : INCONGRUITY THAT BURNS WANTS THEM TO RE-MARRY BUT SHE’S FINALLY GETTING THE CHANCE TO TELL HIM THAT SHE’S ALREADY PLANNING ON GETTING MARRIED TO SOMEONE ELSE.
1) WHAT I LEARNED FROM THIS ASSIGNMENT IS THAT THE BASIC WAY TO MAKE SOMETHING FUNNY IS TO USE INCONGRUITY BY PAIRING TWO THINGS THAT DON’T BELONG TOGETHER.
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Hi Margaret. Most widowed senior ladies ( and many younger ones) wouldn’t dare attempt to fix their plumbing and the grocery bit at the end shows just how vulnerable she was.
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Hi Eclipse. I liked the interplay between these senior ladies and old songs which showed you using the techniques you learned from the class. It seemed to end abruptly as if there’s more to come as they try to reach their objective.
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Hi Larry. Having the two opposites lost and trying to find their way out while encountering a host of other people was amusing and showed a grasp of the lessons. Do those characters disappear before Jack and Billy could follow them? Is Martha Stewart meant to be done as a commercial?