william gorski
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DAY 2 Assignment: STRUCTURE
What I learned is that my story had some structural gaps to fill in, such as number 4.
Logline: Disillusioned youth ‘Willie’ Yeats battles his artist father to forge his creative identity as an Irish bard. Maud Gonne, at the death of her father, overcomes her grief to continue his political mission for Irish independence.
Yeats’s story:
1. Opening: Yeats attends a séance, gets a message about his ‘calling’
2. Inciting Incident: Yeats quits the art school, first challenge to his father’s authority
3. P. 10 Know what the story is about:
For the series: Yeats’s quest to be the poet of Ireland
For the episode: Yeats wants to prove to his father his creative worth
4. First turning point (end of act 1): MISSING PIECE
5. Midpoint: Yeats meets O’Leary—a new mentor and champion of Yeats’s poetry
6. Second turning point (end of act 2): Turmoil over his mother’s senility
7. Crisis: Yeats and his father come to blows over their conflicts
8. Climax: Yeats delivers a stunning recital at O’Leary’s Contemporary Club
9. Resolution: Sustained hostilities with his father; cliff-hanger: his mother is climbing out her second story window
Maud’s story:
1. Opening: tenant eviction of elderly couple
2. Inciting Incident: Maud tries to save the old lady (Mrs. Reilly)
3. P. 10 Know what the story is about:
For the series: Maud’s courageous humanitarianism for dispossessed Irish
For the episode: Maud wants to put an end to evictions
4. First turning point (end of act 1): Maud’s father dies, forcing her to leave Ireland to live with her Aunt Mary in Paris
5. Midpoint: meets Lucien Millevoye, who will help her with her mission (and keep her in Paris)
6. Second turning point (end of act 2): Maus makes a dangerous trip to Russian
7. Crisis: Maud fails to persuade an Irish MP to accept her service in the fight for independence
8. Climax: Maud fails to persuade O’Leary of the same
9. Resolution: O’Leary invites Maud to be the first woman member of the Contemporary Club
3. Look back over the 9 elements and select at least one to elevate.
4. Separating that one (or more) item(s) out, list the main purpose of that item in the story and brainstorm a list of other possible ways to deliver that structural item.
5. Make a second list of the Main Conflict and Structural items with the improvements you’ve made.
Yeats: brainstorming—for first turning point
Main Purpose: This is a major twist in the story. Now, everything has changed in some major way and the major conflict is set into motion. The protagonist has had a change in his or her life.
Turning points (end of Act One and Act Two) cause surprise, increased curiosity, insight, and take the story in a new direction.
Rewrite of Yeats’s story, filling in number 4. Still have more to work on.
1. Opening: Yeats attends a séance, gets a message about his ‘calling’
2. Inciting Incident: Yeats quits the art school, first challenge to his father’s authority
3. P. 10 Know what the story is about:
For the series: Yeats’s quest to be the poet of Ireland
For the episode: Yeats wants to prove to his father his creative worth
4. First turning point (end of act 1): Yeats’s father points Yeats in the direction of O’Leary—a challenge to the timid newbie.
5. Midpoint: Yeats meets O’Leary—a new mentor and champion of Yeats’s poetry
6. Second turning point (end of act 2): Turmoil over his mother’s senility
7. Crisis: Yeats and his father come to blows over their conflicts
8. Climax: Yeats delivers a stunning recital at O’Leary’s Contemporary Club
9. Resolution: Sustained hostilities with his father; cliff-hanger: his mother is climbing out her second story window
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THE LAST ROMANTICS (Episode 1, “Father’s Footsteps”)
Note: THE LAST ROMANTICS is a limited series featuring Irish poet WB Yeats and activist Maud Gonne set in 1890s Ireland. For this class, I will be rewriting the pilot episode. In this episode, Yeats and Maud’s narratives are intertwined, and they won’t meet each until the start of episode 2. For ease of reading, I have kept the two narratives separate.
Logline: Disillusioned youth ‘Willie’ Yeats battles his artist father to forge his creative identity as an Irish bard. Maud Gonne, at the death of her father, overcomes her grief to continue his political mission for Irish independence.
Maud’s storyline:
On a cold Dublin night, Maud (20) and her military father, Tommy Gonne, attempt but fail to save the life an old woman evicted from her tenant farm. In response, Tommy declares to Maud he will resign from the army and run for Parliament as an Irish Home Rule candidate. However, Tommy abruptly dies, leaving Maud in the care of her Aunt Mary, who lives in Paris. There, Maud meets Lucien Millevoye, a French journalist involved in high stakes political intrigue. Maud falls for the married Millevoye and pledges herself to a political alliance with him. When Millevoye’s courier is arrested, Maud jumps in to take his place, hoping to prove her courage and value. She boards a midnight train for a dangerous errand to St. Petersburg; she plies her feminine wiles to outwit a Russian diplomat and successfully foils a counterplot. Pleased with Maud’s resourcefulness, Millevoye devises another mission for Maud to serve his own purposes. But Maud refuses: she has her own agenda. She ventures to London to meet with the leading Irish MP in Parliament, who rejects Maud’s assistance on the basis of being a woman. Discouraged but not deterred, Maud returns to Dublin to persuade John O’Leary, top man of Irish letters, that she could assist him with Irish independence. Yet again, Maud’s offer is rejected on the basis of her sex. She storms out of O’Leary’s salon (crossing paths with an unwitting Yeats). O’Leary rushes after Maud and pleads with her to become the first woman member of his club.
Yeats’s storyline:
Son of the famed painter JB Yeats, ‘Willie’ Yeats (21) realizes he is a failed artist and quits the exclusive art school his father enrolled him in. JB berates him for the waste of tuition and questions his son’s prospects. Willie’s mother, victim of dementia, upsets the household when she attacks her daughters with a rolling pin in the family kitchen. After the outbreak, JB announces his plan to send his wife to an asylum, but Willie puts his foot down, increasing hostilities between father and son. To pursue his quest for mystical knowledge and creative expression, Yeats turns to writing poetry on Celtic heroes and Druid sorcerers. JB provides him an entrée to John O’Leary and his Contemporary Club. Yeats impresses O’Leary with his ambitions to become the bard of modern Ireland. O’Leary invites Willie to recite his poems at the next club meeting. Feeling ornery about his son’s dawning independence, JB taunts Willie for taking on his mother’s backward beliefs in seances and spirits. In turn, Yeats calls out his father for sponging off his in-laws. Irate, JB challenges his son to fisticuffs; an icy standoff ensues. Willie delivers a mesmerizing recital for O’Leary’s gathering. His momentary triumph flattens when he returns home to JB’s inquiry, “Home from another séance?” As he mounts the stairs, Willie sees his mother’s bedroom door is open. In the light of a bedside candle, he sees something strange in her room: She’s climbing out her second story window! Yeats dashes in—will he reach her in time?
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Hi everyone, Bill Gorski here.
I have written one film script and two tv pilots. I’ve taken a few different courses from Hal, always a positive experience.
I hope to dust off my creative skills after about a two year absence from writing; to gain fresh insight in revisiting my script; and to build the can-do attitude it takes to persist in this craft.
Something different: I’ve lost 80 lbs. since March, a great boon to my health.
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Bill Gorski
I agree to the terms of this release form.
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.