William Leiren
Forum Replies Created
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Respectfully, I am overwhelmed with work and life and cannot get myself back to finishing these assignments. So I will be bowing out as of this lesson. Thanks for the upbuilding words, and the insights into the industry. I will still refer back to these lessons, should I ever find myself in a position to do so. Thanks for everything!
Bill L.
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William Leiren’s Synopsis Hooks
Numbers 1, 2, 3, & 4:
“Nothing worse than when your relaxing road-trip to a new life turns into a hellish nightmare due to the road rage asshole who’s one lane over- and he’s got your face!!!
An insecure professor was happy to spend the first night camping in the woods, until his crazed doppelgänger came bursting from the lake.
Of course, no one else can see this mythical “Fetch” creature- so he has to be imaginary, right…? Oh, great- that just means our professor’s lost his mind.
Until the creature chases the professor down in a stolen hotrod, and others actually SEE this evil twin! Including the hero’s wife.
And worse, the doppelganger’s seen her. And wants her for himself.
At road’s end, new life will surely come… but whose life?”
Number 5: What I learned doing this assignment is… how to inject dangling excitement into every line of hook synopsis.
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W. Leiren’s High Concept/Elevator Pitch…
1. Main Hook: The main character is trying to road-trip to his perfect life, but his evil twin is racing him there. And only one can claim that perfect life.
2. The most interesting way possible? Main Conflict: “How do you drive to that perfect life just down the road when the guy in the car next to you is your psychotic doppelgänger?”
3. Elevator Pitch? “I’m putting a new spin on a horror classic, a crazed road race between the hero and his psychotic evil twin- and winner takes all!”
4. What I learned doing this assignment are the subtle differences between High Concept, Elevator Pitch, and Logline. Not a lot of difference, but enough to change the tone and direction.
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Title: RIPPLE ROAD
1. A. Villain/Hero – The hero, Gower, while a calm, well-spoken, insecure poetry professor at first glance, is actually a festering bomb waiting to go off; The villain, James, is a mirror-image doppelgänger of Gower’s- more confident, more cocky & charismatic, and definitely more psychotic
B. Opening Scene – A brief moment from later in the script, Gower is driving like a madman to rescue his wife Annika from the murderous doppelgänger, and is involved in a high-speed chase with highway patrol, who end up crashing their patrol cars, as Gower escapes into the night desert
C. Turning Points – The birth of the doppelgänger, bursting out of the still lake; the later realization that others see the hot rod that the doppelgänger has stolen, and still later, when others see the doppelgänger himself and we realize the villain is not simply “imagined” by the hero, he truly exists in the real world
D. Emotional Dilemma – As James the evil twin starts taking over the hero’s life, Gower has to “either” man up to the level of the doppelgänger to defeat him, “or” Gower will be murdered, with James usurping away our hero’s life
E. Twists – When Gower finally catches up to his kidnapped wife, she reveals to him that this is all in Gower’s imagination, that Gower is not married to this beautiful woman, but is trapped somewhere in an unknown “room” manifesting this reality as well as his own evil twin
F. Reversal – Gower rejects her “mind game” theory and realizes she was not kidnapped, but came willingly with the doppelgänger
G. Betrayal – Gower then also realizes she has left Gower for James, seeing him as the superior man
H. Big Surprises – After learning of this huge betrayal, James then murders Gower, drowning him in a lake; but a little while later, as James & Annika are harmed by angry bikers who had followed them, Gower is reborn in the lake, taking on all the murderous qualities of his doppelgänger
2. Other interesting things to a Producer: A. This is road race film, very much like such drive-in films from the 1970s (Vanishing Point; Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry; Two-Lane Blacktop; Eat My Dust) as well as the more modern holders of that torch (the Fast & Furious series)
B. In the end, we reveal Gower has actually died in a hospital room, and Annika was actually his nurse; but the doppelgängers live on, transferring to Annika, as she releases her own evil twin at film’s end; an endless series of sequels.
3. I think the previous things above qualify as the 10 Most interesting things.
4. What I learned doing this assignment is… that my script actually has a lot of very interesting elements going for it, that a Producer could work with.
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To the Producer, I would present myself as intelligent and capable, a workhorse who is savvy enough to know that someone else (the Producer) may know more about the business than I do, and that I am certainly flexible in revamping the work in such a way that they would have a much easier time selling the script. While I would want to maintain my integrity about my work, I also recognize that a story can be written a million different ways, and constructive criticism is always a good thing.
To the Manager, I would present myself as a long-termer. Someone who has studied the film industry from the angle of a seasoned writer, and who has stepping stones in their career path already in mind. An array of various scripts in different styles and genres, and an openness about delving into new areas. Recognizing that the script is merely the first blueprint to the building to come.
What I learned in lesson 3 is the strong reminder that the writer who wants an actual career in the film industry must look at their own work as forever malleable. If you want to die on the sword that only you, the writer, knows the best story, then you’re better off writing poetry for seasonal college journals. Nobody in the biz will want to work with you.
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From William Leiren
1. Logline: An insecure poetry professor driving cross-country with his wife to a promising new job suddenly finds himself stalked by his otherworldly doppelganger- a “Fetch” – who’s on a murderous rampage.
2. A. Unique. Yes. Though we’ve seen road race films (Fast & Furious, as well as a slew of road race drive-in movies in the 1970’s- Two Lane Blacktop, Vanishing Point, Dirty Mary Crazy Larry, Eat My Dust, etc., and although we’ve seen evil twin/doppelganger stories (Adaptation, Twin Peaks, about a dozen episodes of Star Trek, etc.), there’s never been a road rage racing film featuring a man and his doppelgänger. It’s a match made in hell.
B. Great Title Yes. Originally, it was just “Ripple”, but one-word titles are too vague and easily forgotten. Changing it to “Ripple Road” gave it flavor, clearly a road trip movie, but with the poetry of the word ripple, as well as the danger of the verb Rip, or the dark acronym, R.I.P. And a very memorable title. You won’t mistake for a different film.
C. True. N/A
D. Timely — connected to some major trend or event. Somewhat. The earlier draft incorporated the pandemic, as a paranoia inducing environment.
E. It’s a first. Yes. In Irish folklore, a “Fetch” is a mirror image creature that springs from our reflection, and is a harbinger of impending death. This has never been given the film treatment before.
F. Ultimate. Yes. What is more terrifying than meeting your own worst self? Without morals, without restraint. And with an agenda to take over your life.
G. Wide audience appeal. Yes. Evil twins and crazed road races? What’s not to love?
H. Adapted from a popular book. N/A
<font face=”inherit”>I. Similarity to a box-office success. Yes. The recent Twin Peaks was given the green </font>light because everyone wanted to see the Dark Lodge version of Dale Cooper face off with quirky, better half. But the show failed to deliver that match-up, opting instead for esoteric art abstracts and little visceral pay-off. This film corrects that mistake.
<font face=”inherit”>J. A great role for a bankable actor. Yes, absolutely! What up-and-coming lead actor wouldn’t want to sink his teeth into this dual role- an insecure, but hyper intelligent poetry professor, mirrored by his evil, charismatic, violence-driven twin? And the </font>role of<font face=”inherit”> his wife is equally challenging: a too good to be true, faithful to the </font>end<font face=”inherit”> loving wife, and her dark secret that compels her toward her husband’s dark counterpart.</font>
<font face=”inherit”>3. Two components- A. it’s Uniqueness (Duel meets Adaptation; Wake In Fright by way of Cronenberg’s Dead Ringers). Imagine your worst nightmare is yourself- an uncontrollable twin, hell-bent on running you off the road, killing you, and taking over your life?</font>
<font face=”inherit”>B. A great role for a bankable actor. You know how Nicholas Cage </font>sinks<font face=”inherit”> his teeth into every crazed role he takes on? How he draws a line in the sand, and then leaps past it and rips up everything in his path? This is one of those roles. Hell… you even get to beat the shit out of yourself. What actor could pass that up?</font>
<font face=”inherit”>4. What I learned from this assignment is that it’s actually kind of fun to try on a different hat and huckster the crap out of your script. It made me have newfound respect for this B-movie offering. I know I’d click on it, if it were on </font>Netflix<font face=”inherit”>.</font>
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1. Give us your Genre, Title, and Concept.
Genre: Psychological Horror; the title: Ripple Road; Concept: an insecure poetry teacher driving cross-country to his new teaching job must first contend with his road rage doppelgänger.
2. In one or two sentences, tell us what you think is most attractive about your story.
The story is fast moving and fun. And there’s a terrific role for a lead actor wishing to play both a sensitive & psychological damaged person, and his psychotic doppelgänger.
3. Tell us which you will target FIRST — managers, producers, or actor’s production company — and why you picked that target.
I really don’t know. This is the stuff that makes no sense to me. I just want to get it out there to someone with clout to move it forward. An actor with the ability to green light his own projects would be a good step in that direction.
4. I learned the difference between Telling and Selling.
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A. Name and preferred pronoun?
-My name is William or Bill. The pronoun thing is stupid, call me whatever you want.
B. How many scripts you’ve written?
-I’ve written three full-length scripts, one short screenplay, a TV pilot, and a few stage plays.
C. Something unique, special, strange or unusual about you?
-I once won an essay contest: “Describe in 50 words or less your erotic encounter with any character from Scooby Doo.”
D. What you are here to get out of the class?
-To get my scripts into the right hands; to move beyond spec scripts.