[William Peed]

LESSON #9

MIKE'S THRILLER

1. Something Planned For Doesn't Happen

CURRENT DIRECTION

The Prisoners are condemned to death

TWIST

Miguel doesn't get his head chopped off

Daniella proposes to Pasha Hassan

2. Lost Their Resources

Daniella loses Zara when Pasha Hassan regifts Zara to give to Hajji Murad in return for the position of the Sultan's Grand Vizier in Constantinople.

– He had given Daniela Zara as her handmaiden as an engagment gift.

– Daniella had asked for her as her gift so that she could keep Zara safe.

– Miguel had accused her of selling Zara out when she proposed to Pasha Hassan

3. Someone Changes Sides

Daniella!!!!! The Love of His Life! The one he'd give up everything for!!!!!

— She proposes to Pasha Hassan. Chooses Pasha Hassan and Algiers over Miguel and Madrid

4. A New Problem Occurs

Daniella makes Miguel promise he won't leave Algiers. He'll put the effort in and make it work

— If you love me, you'll stay here and make it work.

— He never actually promises!

— But he will stay and make it work

5. A Lie Is Uncovered

Daniella finds out about the Proposal

— It wasn't a lie —

– A lie by omission

— she leaves the room reading Miguel's proposal. Perhaps reads a couple of lines out loud. She'll use his words in her proposal to Pasha Hassan

6. New Consequences Emerge

After Miguel is finally fully honest with Daniella and tells her about the proposal (he still lies to her about why he lied to her, though), Daniella steals Miguel's own words to propose to Pasha Hassan

7. New Options Emerge

Miguel negotiates a way out of Algiers that doesn't involve him having to risk his life

8. A Mistake Comes Back To Haunt Them

Miguel lying about the proposal results in Daniella proposing to Pasha Hassan using his own words

9. A Trust Is Violated

Miguel has left Algiers without her

— this is backstory

Pasha Hassan regifts Zara

– You said she was a symbol of your eternal love

– Well, now she's a symbol of my eternal gratitude to Hajji Murad

10. We See An Unexpected Side Of Someone

Pasha Hassan tells Daniella about Constantinople

— Pasha Hassan takes Miguel's advice and tells Daniella about going to Turkey

— Miguel tries to rat Pasha Hassan out. Because Miguel can't imagine actually being completely honest.

— But Daniella already knows

11. It Just Got More Dangerous

Daniella agrees to try to escape

— Now her life's in danger too

12. Secret Identity Uncovered

Rock the Casbah

Miguel and Benengeli in drag. Caught by the Janissaries

13. The Worst Possible Thing Happens

Daniella proposes to Pasha Hassan

14. The Solution Makes Things Worse

1. Death for escaping

– the Gate of Grief

– Mock Execution

– Meet* cute – Daniella saves Miguel's life

– *They've already met. They've known each other for years. This is the first time they "meet" in the movie

TWIST: Miguel's mock execution

– Death of Miguel's Guard

– Mystery: Why does Pasha Hassan allow Miguel to live?

2. Losing Daniella's love

– Pasha Hassan asks Miguel to propose to Daniella for him

– Miguel takes an opposite turn in the labyrinth. Makes a mental not to himself. The same way will does in Shakespeare in

Love. He's been gong the opposite way through the maze, from the bagnios to the harem.

– Mystery – Why doesn't Pasha Hassan ask Daniella to marry him his ownself?

TWIST: Miguel negotiates a way out of Algiers that doesn't involve him having to risk his life

3. Surveillance

– Bonengel

– Who knows Miguel's secrets

– El Manco LePanto

4. Lying to Daniella

TWIST: Daniella makes Miguel promise he won't leave Algiers. He'll put the effort in and make it work

— If you love me, you'll stay here and make it work.

— He never actually promises!

— But he will stay and make it work

– Daniella makes Miguel promise to never leave her*

– * Miguel never actually promises

Miguel has left Algiers without her

— this is backstory

5. Losing himself/his self-respect

– He stays with Daniella even though she's still with Pasha Hassan

– He gets a job. An apartment. A new wardrobe. To make Daniella happy

– In spite of this, she still chooses* Pasha Hassan over Miguel

– * she doesn't have a choice

– which is made clear by Benengeli*

– *whose life is also in danger*

– * should Pasha Hassan catch Miguel and Daniella, or if Miguel escapes, Benengeli will lose his head*

– * like Miguel's last guard

6. Losing Daniella, Part Duh

– Miguel accepts the fact that he cannot remain in Algiers if Daniella is going to marry Pasha Hassan. He's going to escape,
and, ideally, bring Daniella with him.

– Which will put Miguel's, and anyone who chooses to go with him, as well as Benengeli's lives, in danger

– Which causes Miguel to put together a plan, which results in —

7. Discovery, Disguise, Chase

– Miguel goes to the Harem, so Benengeli can see what actually goes on

– Miguel, looking romantic, framed in the keyhole. Daniella's lips so sweet and tender, like petals falling apart, mouths
along to Miguel's story.

– Which happens to be the same time that Pasha Hassan, El Lobo and Hajji Murad show up

– Daniella rescues them

– But Benengeli's not wise enough to recognize it

– Miguel and Benengeli disguise themselves as concubines

– Zara saves them by offering herself to Hajji Murad

– they escape through Daniella's balcony and flee through the streets of the Casbah*

– *the whitewashed walls in the moonlight

– Keystone Janissaries

– Miguel and Benengeli hide in a secret garden

– Benengeli's dagger at Miguel's throat, a shock of red blood in the pale moonlight

TWIST: Rock the Casbah

Miguel and Benengeli in drag. Caught by the Janissaries

– Discovery by Janissaries

8. Altogether Now

TWIST: Daniella agrees to try to escape

— Now her life's in danger too

– Daniella asks Miguel to get Zara out of Algiers.

– He agrees, but only if Daniella goes with him

– Which now puts Miguel, and Daniella, and Zara and Benengeli and Sancho and Dr. Alonzo's lives at stake

– Mystery: How's he going to get them out of there?

9. Heat from Pasha Hassan roughly page 65

– The Sultan is coming. I need my proposal*

– *Is this the first time we hear about the Sultan's arrival? Maybe we mention this earlier?

– If he doesn't convince Daniella to marry him soon, Pasha Hassan is going to kill him.

– Miguel would rather be dead than see Daniella marry Pasha Hassan

10. Losing Daniella's love forever

– Daniella discovers the Proposal

TWIST{ Daniella finds out about the Proposal

— It wasn't a lie —

– A lie by omission

— she leaves the room reading Miguel's proposal. Perhaps reads a couple of lines out loud. She'll use his words in her proposal to Pasha Hassan

Miguel lying about the proposal results in Daniella proposing to Pasha Hassan using his own words

TWIST: Daniella!!!!! The Love of His Life! The one he'd give up everything for!!!!!

— She proposes to Pasha Hassan. Chooses Pasha Hassan and Algiers over Miguel and Madrid

– "You lied to me."

– "It was a lie of omission."

– Daniella proposes to Pasha Hassan, using Miguel's own words!

After Miguel is finally fully honest with Daniella and tells her about the proposal (he still lies to her about why he lied to her, though), Daniella steals Miguel's own words to propose to Pasha Hassan

11. Loss of Freedom

– He's going to Constantinople*

– no slave has ever returned to Europe from Turkey

– Maybe this is where we first reveal the Constantinople gig.

– Pasha Hassan and El Lobo have kept it a secret from Daniella

12. Humiliation

– He reveals Pasha Hassan's plan to got to Constantinople to Daniella

TWIST:Pasha Hassan tells Daniella about Constantinople

— Pasha Hassan takes Miguel's advice and tells Daniella about going to Turkey

— Miguel tries to rat Pasha Hassan out. Because Miguel can't imagine actually being completely honest.

— But Daniella already knows

– She already knows. Pasha Hassan took Miguel's unintentional advice and told her already

– Daniella releases him from her promise. He can go. She won't stop him. He can use her wedding to escape.

12. Loss of respect from friends and self

– He'll remain a slave before he'll leave Daniella

13. Intrigue: What is Hajji Murad going to collect as his price for getting Pasha Hassan named Grand Vizier?

14. Discovery

– Miguel and Sancho* infiltrate Pasha Hassan and Daniella's wedding

– Sancho's working. That's why they couldn't use the wedding as a distraction, as Miguel had intended.

15. Forced marriage/Betrayal

– Zara is Hajji Murad's chosen prize

– Pasha Hassan has betrayed Daniella's trust.

– Zara was Pasha Hassan's engagement gift to Daniella, a symbol of his love. He's now given Zara to Hajji Murad in exchange for the Grand Viziership of The Ottoman Empire

TWIST: Daniella loses Zara when Pasha Hassan regifts Zara to give to Hajji Murad in return for the position of the Sultan's Grand Vizier in Constantinople.

– He had given Daniela Zara as her handmaiden as an engagment gift.

– Daniella had asked for her as her gift so that she could keep Zara safe.

– Miguel had accused her of selling Zara out when she proposed to Pasha Hassan

Pasha Hassan regifts Zara

– You said she was a symbol of your eternal love

– Well, now she's a symbol of my eternal gratitude to Hajji Murad

– Zara escapes rather than be forced to marry a man she doesn't love.

16. Chased

– Zara escapes, which causes Benengeli to follow

17. Death

– the only way Daniella can save Zara's life at this point is to —

– escape with Miguel

18. Discovery

– the old Wedding Switcheroo

– "Where is my Bride?" Cut To__

– Daniella on her horse as Miguel tries to climb on his.

19. Chase:

– "Where is my betrothed?"

– Zara on her way to the Harem

– When Pasha Hassan discovers Daniella and Miguel have escaped, he sends El Lobo and his Janissaries* after them

– Where is Benengeli, my most trusted Janissary? Cut To:

– Benengeli following Zara

20. Discovery

– Zara in the Harem

21. Disguise

– Zara in the Janissary uniform. Tereza as the prisoner.

– Aren't you a bit short for a Janissary?

22. Discovery

– Miguel, Daniella, Zara, Tereza and Benengeli through the labyrinth

23. One Last Betrayal

– Miguel had offered Zara to the Gatekeeper*

– It was after my last escape attempt

24. Losing Daniella

– El Lobo and the Janissaries show up at the Docks

25. Losing Daniella, his Freedom, and or Death

– Miguel and Sancho hold of the Janissaries as Daniella, Zara, Tereza, Benengeli and Dr. Alonzo escape

• This reply was modified 7 months, 3 weeks ago by  William Peed.

[William Peed]

Mike’s Rom Com Lesson Ten

1. WITH SOMEBODY WHO LOVES ME (INCITING INCIDENT, MEET CUTE)

Daniella flirts with Pasha Hassan

Who Banters back

DANIELLA

I want to dance!

PASHA HASSAN

According to the Sultan, The Prophet frowned upon dancing, peace be upon him

DANIELLA

And how did the prophet feel about drinking? According to the Sultan?

PASHA HASSAN

I don’t know. I never asked him

Miguel and Pasha Hassan banter

Freedom vs. Death

Daniella flirts with Miguel

Very subtle, with a whiff of danger. If Pasha Hassan realizes they’re flirting (he doesn’t. He’s too arrogant to consider the possibility of Daniella choosing someone over him) he’ll have them both killed.

Miguel, Pasha Hassan and Daniella banter

Freedom v. Death v. Love

2. PROMISES, PROMISES, YOU KNEW YOU’D NEVER KEEP (TURNING POINT 1)

Miguel flirts with the concubines in the harem

The center of attention

The Troubadour, a Tragic Bard ready to tell another one of his heroic tales

This isn’t the first time. In fact, this is how Daniella fell in love with him so many moons ago

Miguel flirts with Daniella

Chastened, apologetic

Still angry, Daniella banters back.

Zara flirts with Benengeli

3. A SCENE WITH MIGUEL AND DANIELLA DURING MM3#

Daniella banters with Miguel, through telling the story of Theseus and Ariadne to Zara.

Zara banters with Benengeli.

4. THE TALES OF BRAVE ULYSSES

In the harem —

Daniella flirts with Pasha Hassan

To give Miguel and Benengeli cover to escape

If Pasha Hassan discovers them in the harem, he’ll have everyone there killed.

Miguel, in disguise, banters with Pasha Hassan and Daniella

MIGUEL

Daniella has told us so much about you

MIGUEL

Quotes some of his own poetry to Pasha Hassan. Poetry that Miguel Pasha Hassan has tried to pass off as his own.

5. DANIELLA ASKS MIGUEL TO HELP ZARA ESCAPE (MIDPOINT)

Daniella flirts with Miguel

Now she’s chastened. Apologetic.

She’s now asking him to do the very thing she had asked him not to do

Miguel, in control, banters back

He has the upper hand and knows it

And will use it to get what he wants

5. SOMEWHERE IN MM # 5

Miguel and Daniella (and Pasha Hassan?)

Maybe we move the Theseus scene here?

Miguel has won. He’s convinced Daniella to try to escape Algiers with him. She has trepidations. She’s only doing it because Zara and Benengeli are going with or without her.

Pasha Hassan still thinks Miguel is writing a proposal to Daniella for him

6. LOW POINT (AND I WON’T FORGET TO PUT ROSES ON YOUR GRAVE)

Miguel flirts with Daniella

Planning their future together in Madrid

DANIELLA

When are we going to leave?

MIGUEL

I figure we’ll use the wedding as a distraction.

DANIELLA

What wedding?

MIGUEL

You and Pasha Hassan. He asked me to write a marriage proposal for you. That’s what I’ve been working on.

DANIELLA

Why didn’t you say anything?

MIGUEL

He wanted it to be a surprise.

She’s mad to discover that he’s been lying to her about this the whole time

Which will lead us into —

7. AN INDECENT PROPOSAL

At a palace party —

Daniella flirts with Pasha Hassan

She asks Pasha Hassan to marry her — using Miguel’s own words!

Absolutely destroyed, Miguel banters with Daniella.

8. HE CAME DANCING ACROSS THE WATER

Daniella flirts with Pasha Hassan

Miguel banters back

Miguel is angry and very close to losing control

DR. ALONZO

Let’s get out of here.

• This reply was modified 7 months, 3 weeks ago by  William Peed.

[William Peed]

1. Three Act Structure

INCITING INCIDENT: Pasha Hassan asks Miguel to write a proposal to Daniella for Pasha Hassan
TURNING POINT 1: Daniella makes Miguel promise that he’ll stay in Algiers and make it work
MIDPOINT: Daniella asks Miguel to help her escape
TURNING POINT 2: Daniella asks Miguel to help her escape. Again
CLIMAX: Miguel gets captured so Daniella can escape
RESOLUTION: Miguel and Sancho watch Pasha Hassan sail off to Constantinople

2. Insert Life Threatening Incidents, Mysteries, and the Villain’s Plan Into Your Structure

INCITING INCIDENT: Pasha Hassan asks Miguel to write a marriage proposal to Daniella
–VILLIAN’S PLAN: To get married so the Sultan will name him the Grand Vizier
–LIFE THREATENING SITUATION: Daniella is the love of Miguel’s life. If she says no…
–M1: Why does Pasha Hassan ask Miguel to ask Daniella to write a proposal for him
TURNING POINT 1: Daniella makes Miguel promise to not leave her alone in Algiers.
–LIFE THREATENING SITUATION: If Pasha Hassan finds out, he’ll kill them
–M2: Why won’t Daniella leave with Miguel
–LIFE THREATENING 2: Pasha Hassan ends up in the Harem at the same time as Miguel and Benengeli
—-Zara
MIDPOINT: Daniella asks Miguel to help her escape
LIFE THREATENING 3: If Pasha Hassan discovers their plan, they’ll all be dead

[William Peed]

MIke's Rom Com

1. Attraction -Meet Cute

Daniella is attracted to Miguel because he's willing to risk his life to stand up to Pasha Hassan

Miguel is attracted to Daniella because she saves his life by standing up to Paha Hassan

2. Desire

Pasha Hassan's frustrated desire for Daniella

Miguel wants to live a life fit for a romantic chivalry, where brave men perform heroic acts to prove themselves worthy of fair maidens.

When Daniella sees Miguel at the Harem, she realizes how much she missed him. And how angry she is at him.

– Zara's desire for Benengeli

Miguel sketching Daniella while she tells Zara the story about Adriadne and Theseus.

– Zara and Benengeli's interaction

Daniella watches Miguel tell the concubines the story of LePanto through the keyhole, mouthing along to Miguel's story

At the harem

– Pasha Hassan's desire for Daniella

– Hajji Murad's desire for Zara

Daniella's desire to get Zara to freedom

Miguel's desire for Daniella and vice versa as they discuss their life in Madrid

3. Yearning

Miguel yearns for his freedom, particularly with Daniella

Daniella yearns to be with Miguel, safe and sound in Algiers

Pasha Hassan yearns to be Grand Vizier of the Ottoman Empire

4. Doubt

Daniella doubts that Miguel's even still alive

Miguel doubts that Daniella will choose him over Pasha Hassan

Miguel doubts that they can stay together as long as they're in Algiers

Daniella doubts that Miguel will even try

Miguel doubts that he'll be able to pull the escape off

5. Jealousy

Daniella is jealous when she finds out Miguel didn't come straight to the harem to see her

Miguel is jealous of Pasha Hassan

Daniella is jealous of the other Concubines when Miguel ignores her

Benengeli is jealous of Hajji Murad when Zara saves his life

6. Betrayal

Daniella betrays El Lobo by having Pasha Hassan free the prisoners

Miguel betrayed Daniella by escaping without her

Daniella betrays Miguel by not showing up at the dinner party.

Miguel betrays Daniella by using that as an excuse to not try to make it work

Miguel betrays Daniella and Benengeli by using Zara as bait

Miguel betrays Daniella by keeping the proposal secret

Daniella betrays Miguel by using his own words to propose to Pasha Hassan

Miguel betrays Sancho and Dr. Alonzo by canceling the escape

Pasha Hassan betrays Daniella by giving Zara away to Hajji Murad

7. Anger

8. Passion

Their first meeting at the harem, before they're interrupted by Benengeli

They're night in Daniella's Suite before she finds out about the proposal

9. Obsession

Miguel is obsessed with getting Daniella out of Algiers

Benengeli is obsessed with getting Zara out of Algiers

10. Love

Miguel gives up his freedom for Daniella's

• This reply was modified 8 months ago by  William Peed.

[William Peed]

1. What is the Villain's plan and how does it put the Hero's life in danger?

Pasha Hassan wants to marry Daniella to impress The Sultan of The Ottoman Empire so he will be named the Grand Vizier in Constantinople.

2. What other potential dangers could your Hero face as they try to solve the mystery and confront the Villain?

1. Death for escaping

– the Gate of Grief

– Mock Execution

– Meet* cute – Daniella saves Miguel's life

– *They've already met. They've known each other for years. This is the first time they "meet" in the movie

– Death of Miguel's Guard

– Mystery: Why does Pasha Hassan allow Miguel to live?

2. Losing Daniella's love

– Pasha Hassan asks Miguel to propose to Daniella for him

– Miguel takes an opposite turn in the labyrinth. Makes a mental not to himself. The same way will does in Shakespeare in

Love. He's been gong the opposite way through the maze, from the bagnios to the harem.

– Mystery – Why doesn't Pasha Hassan ask Daniella to marry him his ownself?

3. Surveillance

– Benengeli

– Who knows Miguel's secrets

– El Manco LePanto

4. Lying to Daniella

– Daniella makes Miguel promise to never leave her*

– * Miguel never actually promises

5. Losing himself/his self respect

– He stays with Daniella even though she's still with Pasha Hassan

– He gets a job. An apartment. A new wardrobe. To make Daniella happy

– In spite of this, she still chooses* Pasha Hassan over Miguel

– * she doesn't have a choice

– which is made clear by Benengeli*

– *whose life is also in danger*

– * should Pasha Hassan catch Miguel and Daniella, or if Miguel escapes, Benengeli will lose his head*

– * like Miguel's last guard

6. Losing Daniella, Part Duh

– Miguel accepts the fact that he cannot remain in Algiers if Daniella is going to marry Pasha Hassan. He's going to escape,
and, ideally, bring Daniella with him.
– Which will put Miguel's, and anyone who chooses to go with him, as well as Benengeli's lives, in danger

– Which causes Miguel to put together a plan, which results in —

7. Discovery, Disguise, Chase

– Miguel goes to the Harem, so Benengeli can see what actually goes on

– Miguel, looking romantic, framed in the keyhole. Daniella's lips so sweet and tender, like petals falling apart, mouths
along to Miguel's story.

– Which happens to be the same time that Pasha Hassan, El Lobo and Hajji Murad show up

– Daniella rescues them

– But Benengeli's not wise enough to recognize it

– Miguel and Benengeli disguise themselves as concubines

– Zara saves them by offering herself to Hajji Murad

– they escape through Daniella's balcony and flee through the streets of the Casbah*

– *the whitewashed walls in the moonlight

– Keystone Janissaries

– Miguel and Benengeli hide in a secret garden

– Benengeli's dagger at Miguel's throat, a shock of red blood in the pale moonlight

– Discovery by Janissaries

8. Altogether Now

– Daniella asks Miguel to get Zara out of Algiers.

– He agrees, but only if Daniella goes with him

– Which now puts Miguel, and Daniella, and Zara and Benengeli and Sancho and Dr. Alonzo's lives at stake

– Mystery: How's he going to get them out of there?

9. Heat from Pasha Hassan roughly page 65

– The Sultan is coming. I need my proposal*

– *Is this the first time we hear about the Sultan's arrival? Maybe we mention this earlier?

– If he doesn't convince Daniella to marry him soon, Pasha Hassan is going to kill him.

– Miguel would rather be dead than see Daniella marry Pasha Hassan

10. Losing Daniella's love forever

– Daniella discovers the Proposal

– "You lied to me."

– "It was a lie of omission."

– Daniella proposes to Pasha Hassan, using Miguel's own words!

11. Loss of Freedom

– He's going to Constantinople*

– no slave has ever returned to Europe from Turkey

– Maybe this is where we first reveal the Constantinople gig.

– Pasha Hassan and El Lobo have kept it a secret from Daniella

12. Humiliation

– He reveals Pasha Hassan's plan to got to Constantinople to Daniella

– She already knows. Pasha Hassan took Miguel's unintentional advice and told her already

– Daniella releases him from her promise. He can go. She won't stop him. He can use her wedding to escape.

12. Loss of respect from friends and self

– He'll remain a slave before he'll leave Daniella

13. Intrigue: What is Hajji Murad going to collect as his price for getting Pasha Hassan named Grand Vizier?

14. Discovery

– Miguel and Sancho* infiltrate Pasha Hassan and Daniella's wedding

– Sancho's working. That's why they couldn't use the wedding as a distraction, as Miguel had intended.

15. Forced marriage/Betrayal

– Zara is Hajji Murad's chosen prize

– Pasha Hassan has betrayed Daniella's trust.

– Zara was Pasha Hassan's engagement gift to Daniella, a symbol of his love. He's now given Zara to Hajji Murad in

exchange for the Grand Viziership of The Ottoman Empire

– Zara escapes rather than be forced to marry a man she doesn't love.

16. Chased

– Zara escapes, which causes Benengeli to follow

17. Death

– the only way Daniella can save Zara's life at this point is to —

– escape with Miguel

18. Discovery

– the old Wedding Switcheroo

– "Where is my Bride?" Cut To__

– Daniella on her horse as Miguel tries to climb on his.

19. Chase:

– "Where is my betrothed?"

– Zara on her way to the Harem

– When Pasha Hassan discovers Daniella and Miguel have escaped, he sends El Lobo and his Janissaries* after them

– Where is Benengeli, my most trusted Janissary? Cut To:

– Benengeli following Zara

20. Discovery

– Zara in the Harem

21. Disguise

– Zara in the Janissary uniform. Tereza as the prisoner.

– Aren't you a bit short for a Janissary?

22. Discovery

– Miguel, Daniella, Zara, Tereza and Benengeli through the labyrinth

23. One Last Betrayal

– Miguel had offered Zara to the Gatekeeper*

– It was after my last escape attempt

24. Losing Daniella

– El Lobo and the Janissaries show up at the Docks

25. Losing Daniella, his Freedom, and or Death

– Miguel and Sancho hold of the Janissaries as Daniella, Zara, Tereza, Benengeli and Dr. Alonzo escape

• This reply was modified 8 months ago by  William Peed.

[William Peed]

1. What Is The Big Mystery The Villain Is Hiding?

He wants to get married so bad because he The Sultan Of The Ottoman Empire won’t have an unmarried man as his Grand Vizier

2. How can he cover this up? These become the mysteries.

These need to be emotional. Miguel needs to be a detective in the house of love.

3. The First Mystery: How Does It Engage The Hero?

The first mystery is why did Pasha Hassan allow him to live?

[William Peed]

ACT 1:

OPENING:

His Initial State: Miguel, in chains, being returned to captivity in Algiers after his latest failed escape attempt.

Her Initial State: She is Pasha Hassan's favorite concubine, and he is falling in love with her.

Meet Cute: Mock Execution

Him: At a mock execution staged by Miguel's captor, Pasha Hassan, Daniella acts to spare Miguel's life

Her: Daniella, Pasha Hassan's Favorite Concubine, saves the life of Miguel Cervantes, Pasha Hassan's Most Valuable Prisoner

INCITING INCIDENT: Pasha Hassan makes Miguel an offer – if he can write a marriage proposal that will convince Daniella to marry Pasha Hassan, Miguel will be free to return home to Spain.

Miguel's Initial Challenges: Miguel is Pasha Hassan's Most Valuable Prisoner. He is in love with Daniella, Pasha Hassan's favorite concubine. They can never truly be together as long as they are held captive in Algiers.

Daniella's Initial Challenge: Daniella is Pasha Hassan's Favorite Concubine. She is in love with Miguel, Pasha Hassan's Most Valuable Prisoner

TURNING POINT: Daniella makes/Miguel promise(s) that he will never leave her in Algiers by herself.

ACT 2: CHALLENGE THE OLD WAYS

Miguel's Major Conflict/Obstacle: Miguel wants to flee for safety. Daniella doesn't want to risk leaving the safety of Algiers.

Daniella's Major Conflict/Obstacle: Miguel wants to risk everything to flee to freedom. Daniella doesn't want to leave the safety of Algiers.

REACTION: Miguel tries to settle into a domestic bliss with Daniella. A Job! An Apartment! Dinner Parties! But as long as they’re in Algiers, Miguel will always be second to Pasha Hassan.

Miguel's Self Reflection: At Daniella's request, Miguel tries to settle into domestic bliss with Daniella in Algiers

Daniella's Self Reflection: Daniella realizes that she needs the safety Pasha Hassan provides, but wants Miguel's love

THE PLAN: Miguel will arrange it so that Daniella has to leave, by putting her Handmaiden’s life in danger.

Miguel's Acceptance and Growth: Miguel realizes that he can't live without Daniella, but he also can't share her with Pasha Hassan

Daniella's Acceptance and Growth: Daniella realizes she needs to leave Pasha Hassan, but still for selfless reasons

ACT THREE

MIDPOINT: Daniella asks Miguel to help get Zara out of Algiers.

MIGUEL: I would love to! But I promised you I wouldn’t ever leave you alone in Algiers again. Perhaps if you came with us…

RETHINK: Suddenly, Miguel has to plan an escape.

Miguel's Demonstration and Growth: Miguel hatches a plan to escape and to bring Daniella with him

NEW PLAN: Need Horses. Need a boat. Need a crew. Will use the Wedding as a distraction. Daniella is surprised to learn about the wedding. Miguel has never mentioned The Proposal to her.

TURNING POINT: Daniella asks Pasha Hassan to marry her.

ACT 4: TEST THE CHANGE IN THIS CHARACTER! PROVE NEW WAYS

CLIMAX: The Wedding! Right before which, Daniella learns that Pasha Hassan hasn’t changed at all. So Daniella asks Miguel to help her escape — again.

Daniella's Demonstration and Growth: She realizes she needs to leave because she can't trust anyone else to save her

He does, but in the end, the only way he can free Daniella is by sacrificing his own freedom.

Their Reunion: Daniella and Miguel work together to escape

RESOLUTION: Miguel and Sancho dream of what could have been as Pasha Hassan and his new wife, Hajji Murad’s daughter, head for Constantinople.

• This reply was modified 8 months, 1 week ago by  William Peed.

[William Peed]

Assignment 5

Mike's Thriller – The Villain's Plan

1. What is the end goal?

If Pasha Hassan is the villain, then the end goal is to get married to Daniella.

If El Lobo is the Villain, then the end goal is to get Pasha Hassan named the Sultan's Grand Vizier in Constantinople

If Miguel is the Villain, the end goal is to escape Algiers, with Daniella and Sancho and Dr. Alonzo.

2. How can the villain accomplish that goal in a devious way?

If Pasha Hassan is the Vilain, he accomplishes the goal by asking Miguel to write a proposal to Daniella.

His is goal is the least devious. He loves Daniella. He wants to marry her. He wants his proposal to be a surprise. Yes, it's a little devious to have Miguel write his proposal, but he knows Miguel is her favorite poet.

If El Lobo is the Villain, he needs to try to scuttle the marriage to Daniella. She has too much power over Pasha Hassan. El Lobo is losing his Pasha Hassan's ear to Daniella. Being the Vizier to the Sultan's Vizier isn't as impressive if the Sultan takes all of his advice from his wife.

— his plan, as it, is the second most complicated, and the most devious. It's the most devious because he's doing what he's doing for power. For influence. For gold. But, in his defense, he isn't really coming up with the plan. He's simply acting on Miguel's subtle suggestions.

If Miguel is the Villain, he needs to plot an escape, and get Daniella on board.

His goal is the most complicated, and the second most devious. His plan has to incorporate Pasha Hassan and El Lobo's plans. And get six people out of Algiers.

3. How can they cover it up?

Pasha Hassan covers it up by swearing Miguel to secrecy.

El Lobo covers his plan up by not having any actual idea what it is.

Miguel covers his plan up by speed and skill and schemes.

4. Sequence

Pasha Hassan

— He asks Miguel to ask Daniella to Marry him for him

— he slowly begins to change to become a better man for Daniella

— He saves the Prisoners she asked him to

— He does something else she asks him to

— He dances with her

— He gives her handmaid, Zara, away to Hajji Murad in exchange for the Grand Viziership of the Ottoman Empire in Constantinople

El Lobo

— Miguel insults him about Daniella having Pasha Hassan's ear. "You used to decide who lived and died in Algiers.

— Miguel suggests Hajji Murad's daughter is looking for a husband

— Miguel suggests El Lobo bring Hajji Murad to the Harem

Miguel

— Needs a crew – Father Gui

— Needs to convince Daniella

— Needs a boat- Il Codice da Vinci

— Needs to get Hajji Murad and Benengeli to the Harem

— has to finish his proposal

— Has to convince Daniella to go again

• This reply was modified 8 months, 1 week ago by  William Peed.

[William Peed]

Lesson 5

Mike Peed's Transformational Journeys

What I Learned From This Assignment: Miguel is too selfish, needs to become more selfless. Daniella is too selfless. Needs to become more selfish.

Miguel Cervantes

1. Initial State:

– On the run. He's being returned to captivity after another failed escape attempt.

2. Meet Cute Moment:

– At a mock execution staged by Miguel's captor, Pasha Hassan, Daniella acts to spare Miguel's life

3. Initial Challenges:

– Miguel is Pasha Hassan's Most Valuable Prisoner. He is in love with Daniella, Pasha Hassan's favorite concubine. They can never truly be together as long as they are held captive in Algiers.

4. Major Conflict/Obstacle:

– Miguel wants to flee for safety. Daniella doesn't want to risk leaving the safety of Algiers.

5. Self Reflection:

– At Daniella's request, Miguel tries to settle into domestic bliss with Daniella in Algiers

6. Acceptance and Growth:

– Miguel realizes that he can't live without Daniella, but he also can't share her with Pasha Hassan

7. Demonstration and Growth:

– Miguel hatches a plan to escape and to bring Daniella with him

8. Reunion:

– Miguel and Daniella work together to escape

Daniella

1. Initial State:

– She is Pasha Hassan's favorite concubine, and he is falling in love with her.

2. Meet Cute Moment:

– Daniella, Pasha Hassan's Favorite Concubine, saves the life of Miguel Cervantes, Pasha Hassan's Most Valuable Prisoner

3. Initial Challenge:

– Daniella is Pasha Hassan's Favorite Concubine. She is in love with Miguel, Pasha Hassan's Most Valuable Prisoner

4. Major Conflict/Obstacle:

– Miguel wants to risk everything to flee to freedom. Daniella doesn't want to leave the safety of Algiers.

5. Self Reflection:

– Daniella realizes that she needs the safety Pasha Hassan provides, but wants Miguel's love

6. Acceptance and Growth:

– Daniella realizes she needs to leave Pasha Hassan, but still for selfless reasons

7. Demonstration and Growth:

– She realizes she needs to leave because she can't trust anyone else to save her

8. Reunion:

– Daniella and Miguel work together to escape

• This reply was modified 8 months, 1 week ago by  William Peed.

[William Peed]

Mike's 7 Stage of Love

THE 7 STAGES OF LOVE:

1. Meet Cute:

Daniella saves Miguel's life at a mock execution.

2. Attraction/Flirting:

Daniella makes Miguel promise they’ll live happily ever after together in Algiers

3. Denial:

Miguel's not sure if he's willing to make that promise

4. Separation/Forced Together:

Miguel agrees to try domestic bliss with Daniella

5. Working Through Issues/Differences:

Daniella admits she needs Miguel's help to get Zara out of Algiers. Miguel is will to risk it if Daniella goes with them.

6. Hate/Betrayal/All Hope Is Lost:

Daniella finds out about Pasha Hassan's planned proposal. Realizing she can use his love to her advantage, she proposes to Pasha Hassan.

7. Love Happens:

Miguel realizes he would rather suffer in Algiers with her than go home to Spain without Daniella. Daniella realizes that Pasha Hassan hasn't really changed, and she needs Miguel.

• This reply was modified 8 months, 1 week ago by  William Peed.

[William Peed]

Mike's Thriller

What I Learned From This Assignment:

I loved the way that every scene in this movies has me asking at least one, if not more questions. It kept me guessing, which kept me involved in the movie.

On a related note, I was really impressed by how they used the turning points.

– The first one, the Break Into the Second Act, she literally tells him exactly what the Second Act is going to be. She tells him her next book about a detective who falles in love with the wrong woman, and she kills him.

• This reply was modified 8 months, 2 weeks ago by  William Peed.

[William Peed]

Mike's Thriller

What I learned from this assignment:

Right now, my villain is unwitting and unknowing, and my hero has the underhanded plan that needs to be discovered.

THE BIG MIS OF THE STORY

1. The Big Mystery: Can Miguel get his friends and himself out of Pasha Hassan evil clutches?

2. The Big Intrigue: Pasha Hassan grants Miguel his freedom if Miguel can convince Daniella, the concubine they're both in love with, to marry Pasha Hassan.

3. The Big Suspense: If Pasha Hassan discovers that Miguel has been seeing Daniella behind his back, he'll have them killed

The Intriguing World Where I've Set My Story:

Algiers in 1580. The Pasha's Court. Pirate Kings and Harems and Concubines and Janissaries and Court Poets and palace intrigue in a city built on the slave trade.

Characters:

1. Hero: Miguel Cervantes

Mystery: Can he get Daniella and himself away from Pasha Hassan?

Intrigue: Will he choose fame and wealth and an easy life over Daniella's love?

Suspense: If Pasha Hassan finds out, he'll kill them all

2. Villain: Pasha Hassan

Mystery: Will he be able to convince Daniella to marry him?

Intrigue: He's asked Miguel to do the asking

Suspense: What will he do if Daniella says no?

• This reply was modified 8 months, 2 weeks ago by  William Peed.

[William Peed]

Mike's Bigger Story

What I Learned From this Assignment: That our structure needs to be big and sharp and clear.

1. What Interesting World Could This Be Set In?

Algiers. 1580. The Pirate Capital of the Barbary Coast. The Ottoman Empire. 250 Nautical miles from their mortal enemy, Spain. Muslim and Christian and Jewish. Moorish and Turkish and Spanish. Multi-lingual. Multi-cultural. 1,001 Arabian (K)nights and Romantic Chivalries and Homer and the Quran and the Bible.

2. What Major Conflict Is Happening?

Pasha Hassan, the cruel and tyrannical ruler of Algiers, has offered his Court Poet Miguel Cervantes a deal – if Miguel can write a marriage proposal that will convince Daniella, Pasha Hassan’s favorite concubine and Miguel’s secret lover, to marry Pasha Hassan, he can return home to Spain.

3. What Intriguing Situation Could These Characters Be Involved In?

If Miguel doesn’t get Daniella out of Algiers, he’ll lose her forever. If Pasha Hassan finds out, he’ll kill them.

CONCEPT: Miguel must convince Daniella to escape from Pasha Hassan or risk losing her love forever

MAIN CONFLICT: If Pasha Hassan finds out, he’ll have them killed.

ACT 1:

OPENING: Miguel, in chains, being returned to captivity in Algiers after his latest failed escape attempt.

INCITING INCIDENT: Pasha Hassan makes Miguel an offer – if he can write a marriage proposal that will convince Daniella to marry Pasha Hassan, Miguel will be free to return home to Spain.

TURNING POINT: Daniella makes/Miguel promise(s) that he will never leave her in Algiers by herself.

ACT 2: CHALLENGE THE OLD WAYS

REACTION: Miguel tries to settle into a domestic bliss with Daniella. A Job! An Apartment! Dinner Parties! But as long as they’re in Algiers, Miguel will always be second to Pasha Hassan.

THE PLAN: Miguel will arrange it so that Daniella has to leave, by putting her Handmaiden’s life in danger.

MIDPOINT: Daniella asks Miguel to help get Zara out of Algiers.

MIGUEL: I would love to! But I promised you I wouldn’t ever leave you alone in Algiers again. Perhaps if you came with us…

RETHINK: Suddenly, Miguel has to plan an escape.

NEW PLAN: Need Horses. Need a boat. Need a crew. Will use the Wedding as a distraction. Daniella is surprised to learn about the wedding. Miguel has never mentioned The Proposal to her.

TURNING POINT: Daniella asks Pasha Hassan to marry her.

ACT 4: TEST THE CHANGE IN THIS CHARACTER! PROVE NEW WAYS

CLIMAX: The Wedding! Right before which, Daniella learns that Pasha Hassan hasn’t changed at all. So Daniella asks Miguel to help her escape — again.

He does, but in the end, the only way he can free Daniella is by sacrificing his own freedom.

RESOLUTION: Miguel and Sancho dream of what could have been as Pasha Hassan and his new wife, Hajji Murad’s daughter, head for Constantinople.

• This reply was modified 8 months, 2 weeks ago by  William Peed.

[William Peed]

Mike's Big MIS

What I learned From This Lesson: The importance of establishing these big three early. You must plant these ideas quickly so they can continue to be built upon throughout the movie.

LOGLINE: A wounded hero of the Spanish/Ottoman Wars is kidnapped, tied up, taken away and held for ransom by his enemies in the fabled city of Algiers, where he must choose between his freedom and the love of his life.

THRILLER CONVENTIONS:

1. Unwitting Hero

Miguel Cervantes, a Spanish soldier held in captivity in Algiers, has risen to the post of Court Poet and has fallen in love with Daniella, Pasha Hassan's Favorite Concubine.

2. Dangerous Villian:

Pasha Hassan, the cruel and tyrannical Pasha of Algiers, who has fallen head over heels in love with his Favorite Concubine, Daniella.

3. High Stakes – If Daniella marries Pasha Hassan, he will lose her forever

4. Life and Death Situations:

He's been kidnapped.
Return to the city in chains
The Gate of Grief
The mock execution
The Proposal
Benengeli
The Promise
Miguel's dignity
Pasha Hassan's Power
Escape from the harem
DanIella finds out about Pasha Hassan's Proposal
Daniella proposes to Pasha Hassan
Hajji Murad's Prize
Escape

5. Why is this story thrilling?

Miguel is willing to risk his life to save his friends from Pasha Hassan

THE BIG MIS OF THE STORY

1. The Big Mystery: Can Miguel get his friends and himself out of Pasha Hassan evil clutches?

2. The Big Intrigue: Pasha Hassan grants Miguel his freedom if Miguel can convince Daniella, the concubine they're both in love with, to marry Pasha Hassan.

3. The Big Suspense: If Pasha Hassan discovers that Miguel has been seeing Daniella behind his back, he'll have them killed

• This reply was modified 8 months, 2 weeks ago by  William Peed.

[William Peed]

MIke's Rom-com

What I learned: The connection between these characters must be real and deep and believable.

Who is She?

Daniella is a minor princess from Ukraine who has been kidnapped, tied up, taken away and sold into Pasha Hassan's harem in Algiers where she has become his favorite concubine.

Who is He?

Miguel Cervantes is a wounded hero of the Spanish/Ottoman Wars who has been kidnapped, tied up, taken away and held for ransom in Algiers, where he has managed to get himself named Pasha Hassan's Court Poet.

What makes them lovable?

Daniella uses the small amount of power she has to help the less fortunate citizens of Algiers by tempering Pasha Hassan's violent excesses.

Miguel uses his wit and charm to woo Daniella and plan their escape from captivity.

What attracts them to each other?

Their mutual situation — captivity at the hands of the cruel and tyrannical Pasha Hassan.

Thier mutual need to escape.

Miguel is attracted to Daniella's decency and kindness

Daniella is attracted to Miguel's charisma and charm

What needs does each fulfill for the other?

Daniella is Miguel's muse

Miguel is Daniella's safe harbor

• This reply was modified 8 months, 2 weeks ago by  William Peed.

[William Peed]

MIke

I watched The Lost City which I've been wanting to see because I Romancing The Stone is one of my favorite movies ever, and it seemed like this was heavily indebted.

What I learned: I should have just watched Romancing The Stone! I kid. Kinda. I did learn the importance of the mystery, especially concerning the villain's plan. He definitely had a goal, was ruthless in achieving it, willing to kill anyone who stood in his way, but there was no real mystery to it.

1. Unwitting Hero – Sandy Bullock is a failed academic turned successful romance novelist (THE Joan WIlder?!?!) who's so depressed from the death of her husband. that she announces her decision to kill off the character based on him. Which happens right before the very moment when she is kidnapped by the —

2. Dangerous VIllian – Daniel Radcliffe as a rich, shiftless when idle dilettante searching for ancient artifacts, one of which just happens to be featured in Sandy's new book —

3. High Stakes — She is kidnapped, tied up, taken away to a volcanic island where she is forced to translate scraps of an ancient language that will lead the villain to the Crown Of Fire. Channing Tatum, the cove model who plays the character based on her dead husband, sets out to save her life, and maybe, improbably, against all odds, maybe even her love life!

4. Life and Death Situations — a kidnapping, an active volcano, a rescue attempt with shootings, explosions and death, a car chase through the jungle, a cliff, a leech filled river, more chasing and shooting, a mountain, more chasing and shooting, caves, another cliff and a coffin.

5. This movie is thrilling because there is a lot of life and death situations. The Villain is well resourced and relentless in pursuit of his goal. I think the misfire was that there was no Big Mystery to it. There was never really a moment when you wondered why, or how he planned on achieving his goal.

3 MIS

1. Big Mystery — I don't know that there was one. Will she find the Crown? I guess. Will she find love? Probably. But that wasn’t particularly thrilling

2. Big Intrigue — I think this was where the movie failed. I don't know that there was anything covert or underhanded about the villain’s plot. It was pretty straightforward. If anything, the intrigue was whether Sandy will be able to overcome her dislike of Channing Tatum long enough to find the Crown and survive?

3. Big Suspense — Will they be able to outsmart the villain?

• This reply was modified 8 months, 2 weeks ago by  William Peed.

[William Peed]

Hello! My name is Mike, living in exile in a village in Stephen King Country. I’m a villager!

I’ve written several lousy scripts. I’m taking this class because I’d like to finish a decent one.

[William Peed]

William Peed

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[William Peed]

Hey, my name’s Mike, living in exile in Stephen King country. I’ve written the beginning of five scripts or so. I’m hoping to use this class to focus my current script and keep me motivated to finish it.

What’s unique about me is I know every note of Check Your Head by The Beastie Boys by heart.

[William Peed]

William Peed

I agree to the terms of this release form

• This reply was modified 8 months, 2 weeks ago by  William Peed.

[William Peed]

If anyone is interested in a critique of their map, let me know!

[William Peed]

My Profound Map Version 1

Title: The Escape of the Ingenious Hidalgo Miguel Cervantes of Madrid

By: Me

1. What is your profound truth

– True love means caring for others more than yourself.

– True love will set you free

2. What is the Transformational Journey?

Old Ways: Selfish, scheming, willing to sacrifice anyone for his freedom.

Journey: Miguel is a prisoner in Algiers who will do anything to escape., until he falls in love with Daniella, the Pasha’s favorite concubine.

New Ways: Caring, planning, gives up his own freedom so Daniella can escape.

Transformational logline: A Spanish war hero plotting his escape from Ottoman captivity must choose between his freedom and the love of his life.

3. Who Are Your Lead Characters?

Change Agent: Daniella, Hamad

Transformable Character: Miguel

Betraying Character: El Lobo

Oppression: Hassan Pasha. Slavery.

4. How Do You Connect With Your Audience at the Beginning of the Movie?

a. Relatability – Values his freedom. Wants to be the master of his own destiny.

b. Intrigue – Why is Miguel in this situation? Why is he in love with the Pasha’s favorite concubine? Will he survive it?

c. Empathy: He is a slave. His life is at the whim of others.

d. Likability: He tries to take responsibility for the escape.

5. What is the Gradient of the Change?

Emotional Gradient: Forced Change. Miguel has to go from being willing to sacrifice anyone for his freedom to being willing to sacrifice his freedom for the woman he loves.

We watch him go through these stages:

Denial: Tells Daniella he won’t sacrifice anyone for his freedom, even though he would.

Anger: Rodrigo get’s ransomed. Hassan chooses de Garza’s play so he can go home.

Bargaining: Tries to convince Hamad and Daniella to help him plan an escape.

Depression: Daniella chooses to accept Hassan’s proposal and stay in Algiers instead of trying to escape with Miguel.

Acceptance: Miguel accepts that Daniella is strong enough to do what’s best for herself. Says so in his improvisation of de Garza’s play.

ACTION GRADIENT:

Setup:

– Miguel is being held hostage in Algiers by the Pasha. He is constantly scheming to find a way to escape.

– He has fallen in love with Daniella, the Paha’s favorite concubine. The Pasha confides to Miguel that he is planning on marrying Daniella. Miguel convinces him to wait.

– When his friend Sosa is sentenced to death, Miguel has to plan another escape.

Journey:

– Miguel tries to use Hamad’s interest in the concubine Zoraida to convince him to help him escape.

_ Miguel tries to use Daniella’s feelings for Zoraida to convince her to help him escape.

– They agree, but they have their conditions.

– One of which is that Miguel suck up his pride and act in de Garza’s play. As a woman.

– Daniella tells Miguel that she can’t try to escape with him. Hassan Pasha has asked her to marry him. “I’m not some character in one of your dramas.”

Payoff:

– Miguel, Hamad, Zoraida and Sosa are using the play to cover their escape. Daniella arrives with Hassan Pasha.

– Miguel improvises. Plays the character having learned what Daniella wanted him to learn. She realizes that his love is real.

– Daniella joins them in their escape.

– They are caught by Hassan’s men. Miguel gives himself up so that the others can get away.

Challenge/Weakness Gradient:

Challenge: Miguel loves Daniella. He can’t love without her, but he doesn’t want to risk her life by bringing her along. But he knows he can’t succeed without her.

Weakness: Selfishness.

Challenge: He doesn’t want Hassan to have her.

Weakness: Puts his own happiness over hers.

Challenge: To take advantage of Hamad and get him to help him escape

Weakness: WIll risk anyone’s life to help him escape.

Challenge: Can’t Live without Daniella.

Weakness: Would rather live in captivity than live without her.

Challenge: Let’s her go

Weakness: He’s giving up the love of his life

6. What is the Transformational Structure of your movie?

Mini Movie #1: Status Quo and Call to Adventure

We Open in 16th century Algiers, a city made rich by war and piracy. A Prisoner, Miguel Cervantes, a wounded hero of the Ottoman Wars, is dragged through the streets in chains.

In the Pasha’s harem, Miguel’s younger brother entertains the concubine’s, including the Pasha’s favorite, Daniella, with his tales of bravery. They are interrupted by the news that Miguel has been recaptured. And that Hassan has returned from a raid.

At a feast to celebrate Hassan’s return, Miguel and his fellow escapees are sentenced for their escape attempt. Miguel accepts responsibility. His guard is executed for helping them escape.

Hassan visits Miguel in the dungeon where he is heavily chained. The Trinitarians are trying to ransom him. Hassan is going to ask Daniella to marry him. El Lobo as chosen de Garza’s play for the Easter Pageant.

Mini Movie #2: Locked into conflict

Miguel and his new guard Hamad. Miguel ditches him.

Miguel and Daniella at the harem. They have an ongoing relationship which, while platonic, could get them both killed, should Hassan find out. She’s angry because he left without her. He tells her he came back for her. She believes him.

Sosa is captured for touching a Koran.

Mini Movie #3: Hero Tries to Solve the Problem, but Fails

Miguel meets with the Trinitarian Friars who have been sent to negotiate his release. They are frugal. There’s so many Christians to be ransomed, and only so much money. And that damn letter from Don Juan!

Miguel tries to talk Hassan into letting Sosa go. Hassan tells him the Friars have finally agreed to pay his ransom. But since Hassan lost money on O’Driscoll and the Guard, Hassan can’t let Miguel go.

Mini Movie #4: Hero Forms A New Plan

Miguel has convinced Hassan to let Rodrigo go instead. “I insisted”. We don’t know it yet, but we’ll find out later, that he is already planning his next escape with Rodrigo’s help.

Miguel uses Hamad’s interest in Zoraida to convince him to help him escape.

Mini Movie #5: Hero Retreats and Antagonism Prevails

Miguel and Daniella fight. She is falling for Hassan. Not romantically. Practically.

Hamad talks Miguel into sneaking into the harem so he can see Zoraida.

While there, Hassan’s guards come in. Miguel and Hamad escape dressed as women.

They bond.

Mini Movie #6: Hero’s Bigger, Better Plan

Miguel tries to convince Daniella to help them escape. She’s not interested. Until he uses Zoraida. She agrees if he lets her plan it. “I’ve planned three escapes” “And you’ve been caught three times.”

Daniella goes to de Garza, convinces him to let Miguel be in the play. On one condition.

Miguel in rehearsal for the play. He’s playing a female character.

They plan their escape for the night of the play.

Mini Movie #7: Crisis and Climax

The night before the escape, Daniella tells Miguel she’s not going. Hassan has proposed. Miguel lets it slip that he knew already. “You knew? And were going to take me away without telling me?” “It didn’t matter. I was going to rescue you.” “Who asked you to rescue me?”

Miguel pumps Hassan for information on his marriage. He’s already growing bored.

Miguel tells Daniella is going to kill her. She thinks he’s just jealous.

The night of the play, Miguel improvisses. Plays the character as Daniella. She realizes that he really loves her.

Miguel switches with Sancho. Daniella goes with Miguel.

In the desert, they hook up with a guy Miguel had met on his last escape attempt. He really did come back for Daniella. He was trying to set up an escape attempt. But he promised the guy a concubine from the harem. Zoraida! When the guy tries to collect his payment, Miguel has to fight him off.

Hassan’s men catch up with sight of a boat, brought by Rodrigo. But they’ll never make it. Unless…

Miguel fights them off, giving himself up so they can escape.

Miguel back in Algiers. Hassan has been recalled by the Sultan. He’s taking a broken Miguel with him. Until…

The Trinitarians show up at the last minute with his ransom.

7. How are the Old Ways Challenged?

A. Challenge through questioning

You don’t care who dies so long as you get your precious freedom.

B. Challenge by Counter Example

Hamad choosing Zoraida over his sense of Duty.

Daniella’s caring for Zoraida.

C. Challenge by Should Work But Doesn’t

Tries to accept responsibility for the escape. O’Driscoll loses his head.

Tries to talk Hamad into helping him escape. He won’t.

Tries to talk Daniella into escaping with him. She won’t.

Tries to talk his Collaborator into letting Zoraida go. This speech should mirror his speech when he tries to accept responsibility for the first escape.

D. Challenge Through Living Metaphor

Miguel loves his freedom more than anything. So did O’Driscoll. O’ Driscoll lost his head.

de Garza’s play. The Main Character is based on Miguel. Miguel plays his love interest.

Hamad chooses his love for Zoraida over his sense of duty.

8, How are you presenting insights through profound moments?

A. Action Delivers Insight

Action: Miguel gives himself up in order to allow Daniella and his friends to escape. (Also, Hamad and Zoraida have gone from being people he uses to actual friends.)

Insight: The lives of others are more important than our own personal freedoms

Action: Hamad turns his back on his service to the Pasha to help Zoraida escape.

Insight: True love is more important than duty

Action: Daniella agrees to marry Hassan. She doesn’t love him, but marrying him will allow her to help the other concubines in the harem.

Insight: Putting others ahead of yourself

Action: After Miguel gives himself up so that the others can go free, he is ransomed.

Insight: True love will set you free

B. Conflict Delivers Insight

Conflict: Daniella chooses staying with Hassan over escaping with Miguel.

Insight: She finds Hassan more reliable than Miguel.

Conflict:

C. Irony Delivers Insight

Irony: Miguel learns about Daniella by playing her in the play.

9. What are the Most Profound Lines of the Movie

1.) Everyone who tries to escape with you ends up dead You don’t care who dies so long as you get your freedom You’ll sacrifice anyone to get what you want.

2.) You knew? And didn’t say anything?

It didn’t matter. I’m going to rescue you.

Who said I needed you to rescue me?

3.) He’s going to kill you

He would never kill me. He asked me to marry him.

He’s killed everyone before you

This is different. He loves me.

I love you.

That’s what you say.

10.) How Do You Leave Us With A Profound Ending?

A. Express the Profound Truth: Miguel gives himself up to allow Daniella to escape.

B. The Change: Miguel has fallen in love with Daniella. And he’s realized that he will give up anything for her.

C. Payoffs: Miguel’s speech when he tries to save Zoraida mirrors his speech when he tries to save the other prisoners. Rodrigo comes back to save them. When the Escapees meet Miguel’s guy in the desert, we realize Miguel did come back for Daniella.

D. Surprising: Daniella chooses to go with Miguel. Miguel had offered Zoraida for their escape.

E. Parting Image/Line: Hassan leaving the port, Miguel being rescued at the last minute.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by  William Peed.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by  William Peed.

[William Peed]

1. Make A List Of The 5 Most Emotional Moments In Your Screenplay

A.) Miguel and Daniella’s first scene together

1.) Daniella confronts Miguel about escaping without her.

a.) He has escaped and left her behind. She is being kept alive by telling Hassan Pasha stories. Stories that Miguel tells her. All of the prisoners who have escaped with him have ended up dead.

1.) Everyone who tries to escape with you ends up dead

2.) You don’t care who dies so long as you get your freedom

3.) You’ll sacrifice anyone to get what you want.

B.) Daniella tells Miguel that Hassan has proposed to her and she’s not going with him

1.) Daniella discovers that Miguel knew Hassan was going to ask her to marry him but didn’t tell her.

a.) Miguel has been planning this escape, knowing all along that Hassan was going to ask Daniella to marry him. Part of the reason he’s planning the escape is to keep her from marrying Hassan. When she tells Miguel, he let’s it slip that he knew. (This has to be done artfully.) She’s pissed.

1.) You knew? And didn’t say anything?

It didn’t matter. I’m going to rescue you.

Who said I needed you to rescue me?

C.) Miguel tries to convince Daniella to come with him

1.)Miguel tells Daniella that Hassan is planning to kill her.

a.) Hassan has made Miguel suspect that he’s growing bored with Daniella and is planning to kill her. Reverting to his old ways. Miguel tells Daniella of his suspicions. She accuses him of being jealous. Which he is. But he is also probably right.

1.) He’s going to kill you

He would never kill me. He asked me to marry him.

He’s killed everyone before you

This is different. He loves me.

I love you.

That’s what you said.

D.) The Play

1.) Miguel’s goodbye. The line(s) that cause her to choose him over Hassan. Escape over marriage.

a.) Miguel has gone of script in the play. Is improvising in a way that shows that he’s really listened to Daniella, taken what she’s said to heart, and that he does love her. Watching it, sitting next to Hassan, Daniella realizes that he does in fact love her. She leaves to escape with Miguel.

E.) Miguel gives himself up for Daniella’s escape.

1.) Miguel says goodbye to Daniella

a.) As Hassan’s men close in on the escapee’s, they know they’ll be caught. Unless Miguel draws them off. but before he goes, he says his final goodbye to Daniella.

2. Select three lines that you want to build deep meaning around

A.) Something to Hassan.

1.) Used at their first meeting

2.) Somewhere in the middle

3.) Last scene

B.) Some variation of the everyone who escapes with you ends up dead linbe

1.) Daniella

2.) Sosa

3.) Hamad

C.)

[William Peed]

1. Miguel is angry that Hassan chooses de Garza’s play for the Easter Pageant, thus granting de Garza his freedom/Miguel being in de Garza’s play makes him realize that he truly loves Daniella

2. Miguel uses his role in de Garza’s play to escape/once he escapes, he gives himself up to allow Daniella to escape

3. Miguel uses Hamad’s interest in Zoraida to convince him to help him escape/Hamad’s selflessness helps convince Miguel he has to change his ways

4. Miguel wants to escape, but needs to learn the meaning of true love/By giving himself up so Daniella can escape, he loses his freedom, but learns the meaning of true love/after learning the meaning of true love, he is ransomed by the Trinitarian friars.

[William Peed]

1. New Way/Insight

Other lives are more important than your own personal freedom

2.What kind of conflict?

Personal loss

3. Ways to deliver the insight through conflict

O’Driscoll’s beheading

Daniella accepting Hassan’s proposal

Hamad giving up his service to the Pasha for Zoraida

Miguel’s guy wanting to take Zoraida as payment for helping Miguel escape.

1. New Way /Insight

You can’t rely on anyone else to provide your happiness

2. What Kind of Conflict?

3. Ways to Deliver the Insight Through Conflict

Daniella accepts Hassan’s proposal.

Realizes that he’s going to kill her.

Zoraida saves Hamad from the janissaries

Miguel’s hopes of being ransomed by the Friars falls through.

Hamad fights Miguel when Miguel tells him he’s a slave

1. New Way/Insight

True Love Will Set You Free

2. What kind of conflict?

Loss

3. Ways to Deliver the Insight Through Conflict

Miguel has to physically fight the Pasha’s men to allow Daniella to escape.

As the Pasha is about to behead him for helping Daniella escape, the Friars show up with his ransom.

Hamad must chose his love for Xoraida over his sense of duty

[William Peed]

Turn insight into action

1.) Create a list of the New Ways/insights you’d like the audience to experience.

A.) the lives of others are more important than our own personal freedoms

B.) True love is more important than duty

C.) Putting others ahead of yourself

D.) True love will set you free

E.) You can’t rely on others to direct your life.

2.) Actions

A.) Miguel gives himself up in order to allow Dulcinea and his friends to escape. (Also, Hamad and Zoraida have gone from being people he uses to actual friends.)

B.) Hamad turns his back on his service to the Pasha to help Zoraida escape.

c.) Dulcinea agrees to marry Hassan. She doesn’t love him, but marrying him will allow her to help the other concubines in the harem. (I need to think about this one. If she does escape with Miguel, isn’t she putting her freedom above the lives of others?)

D.) After Miguel gives himself up so that the others can go free, he is ransomed.

E.) Dulcinea chooses her fate.

[William Peed]

Mike’s Seabiscuit Analysis

What I learned from this lesson: David MacCullough should narrate my life! Or I should at least train my inner thoughts to be in his voice. Also, how well designed and tightly structured these moments really are. That step (gradient) between intuitive and really well planned story telling.

1.) When the guy asks Jeff Bridges if he can fix his car. “Sure I can!” But he has no idea how to actually fix it. But he does figure it out.

2.) “I wouldn’t spend more than five dollars on the best horse in America.”

3.) Chris Cooper and the horse stopped by a barbed wire fence. As a car rolls past in the background.

4.) “You can call me Red.” Followed by “Where’d you learn to ride like that?” “Home.” He’s taking on a new identity.

5.) the whole sequence where Jeff Bridges son dies is a master class.

He’s on the phone while his son’s reading. “Everything’s going to be fine.”

Someone else taught his son to drive the truck

HIs son “It’s about the future.”

His son rolls the truck and blows up the future.

Can he fix it?

6.) The cut from the picture of Buck Rogers fighting to Red boxing which connects the hero of his son’s future to Red.

7.) Chris Cooper stops them from shooting the injured horse. “Why are you fixing him?” “Because I can… Every Horse is good for something… You don’t throw a whole life away because it’s banged up a little.”

8.) “for the first time in a long time you weren’t alone.” transitions to Jeff Bridges alone in his son’s old room.

9.) Red accepts help.

10.) When Red walks Seabiscuit in the circle around the tree. Happily. As opposed to earlier when he did it with the other horse and was pissed off.

[William Peed]

5 Ways That Should Work, But Don’t

1.) He should be able to talk Hassan into giving him the play. It doesn’t. His ability to charm is wearing off.

2.) He should be able to talk Daniella into going with him. She chooses to stay.

3.) He should be able to talk his collaborator into leaving Zoraida alone. It doesn’t work. Miguel’s speech here should mirror his speech earlier when he takes responsibility for the escape.

4.) Tries to accept responsibility for the escape. O’ Driscoll loses his head.

5.) He should be able to talk Hamad into helping him escape, but can’t overcome Hamad’s sense of duty. Only Hamad’s love for Zoraida can overcome his sense of duty. Which will challenge Miguel’s Old Way in regards to Daniella.

5 Living Metaphor Challenges

1.) Miguel Values his freedom more than anything. So does O’Driscoll. O’Driscoll loses his head.

2.) de Garza’s play. de Garza has based his character on Miguel. Miguel plays the Daniella character.

3.) Hamad chooses his love for Zoraida over his sense of duty to Hassan.

4.) Daniella’s Old Ways. Reliant on the whims of men for her life. Hassan has a concubine killed. Daniella stands up to him. Risks her life for the other concubines. Over Miguel’s objections.

5.)

[William Peed]

1. 5 Question Challenges to the Old Ways

You left me. – a question challenge from Rodrigo

You don’t care who has to die so long as you have your precious freedom. – a question challenge from Dulcinea.

Hassan challenges him.

A line from de Garza’s play.

Hamad challenges him during the escape

2. 5 Counterexamples to the Old Way

Hassan chooses de Garza’s play

Hassan Letting Rodrigo go.

Dulcinea caring for Zoraida when she’s first brought to the Harem/tries to kill herself.

Hamad choosing his love for Zoraida over his duty to Hassan.

Something in de Garza’s play.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by  William Peed.

[William Peed]

1. Old Ways

A. Miguel

Spanish Exceptionalism

Soldier

Uses people

Relies on his charm to get what he wants

B. Dulcinea

Reliant on men

C. Hamad

Soldier sense of duty

2. Challenges to the Old Ways

Forms relationships with people from other countries

Being a prisoner

Falls in love with the person he can’t use

Dulcinea sees through him

B. Dulcinea

Challenged by Hassan and Miguel’s competing proposals

C. Hamad

Challenged by his love for the other concubine

[William Peed]

What I learned from this assignment:

Lee J Cobb is EVERYTHING!!!!!!! EVERY!!!!! THING!!!!!

[William Peed]

1. What is your profound truth and how will it be delivered powerfully in your ending?

We need to value other’s lives over our own freedom. Miguel will give sacrifice himself so that Dulcinea and Hamad can escape.

2. How do your lead characters come to and end in a way that represents the completed change?

Miguel is back in captivity, planning another escape.

Dulcinea escapes.

Hamad turns his back on duty to help Miguel and Dulcinea and his girlfriend escape.

3. What are the setups/payoffs that complete in the end of the movie, giving it deep meaning?

Miguel’s first escape is paid off when one of his contacts helps with the second escape.

Dulcinea’s line about Miguel caring more about his freedom than other people’s lives is paid off when he gives up his freedom for her to escape.

4. How are you designing it to have us see an inevitable ending and then making it surprising when it happens?

Is Miguel using Dulcinea to help himself escape? Dulcinea is going to go with him, but decides to stay with Hassan when he proposes. Does Hassan decide to kill her? After they’ve had sex? Does he tell Miguel his plan?

5. What is the parting image/line that leaves us with the profound truth in mind?

Miguel in the harem. A new concubine comes in. He comforts her using the words that Dulcinea had comforted a new concubine earlier.

[William Peed]

1. Which characters are you going to intentionally create a connection with the audience?

Miguel, Dulcinea, Hamad

2. With each character, tell us how you’ll use each of the four ways in the first 30 minutes.

Miguel

A. Relatability – he’s trapped.

B. Intrigue – why is he a prisoner?

C. Empathy – his life is not his own

D. Likability – he tries to take responsibility for the escape and save O’ Driscoll’s life.

Dulcinea

A. Relatability – she’s trapped.

B. Intrigue – who will she choose?

C. Empathy – she’s trapped in a love triangle between two men who don’t appreciate her.

D. Likability – she sacrifices her happiness for the other concubines in the harem

Hamad

A. Relatability – his sense of duty

B. Intrigue – will he break?

C. Empathy – he’s under appreciated in his shitty job.

D. Likability – his love for the concubine

[William Peed]

1. What is the emotional gradient you’ll use?

Forced.

2. For each emotion, tell us the following:

A. Emotion: Denial

B. Action: He begins to plan his next escape attempt without Dulcinea.

C. Challenge: He doesn’t want to risk his plan’s success by bringing her along.

D. Weakness: Selfish

A. Emotion: Anger

B. Action: Tries to sabotage Hassan Pasha’s proposal to Dulcinea.

C. Challenge: He’s not willing to take her with him, but he doesn’t want Hassan Pasha to have her.

D. Put’s his freedom over her happiness.

A. Emotion: Bargaining

B. Tries to get Hamad to escape with him so he can bring Dulcinea.

C. Challenge: Risking more people’s lives.

D. Weakness: He will sacrifice anyone for his freedom.

A. Emotion: Depression

B. Action: Gives up his plan to escape. He can’t leave without her.

C. Challenge: facing life without Dulcinea

D. Weakness: He realizes he would rather live in captivity than live without her.

A. Acceptance

B. Plans to go without her.

C. Challenge: Letting go

D. Weakness: He doesn’t trust her to do the right thing.

[William Peed]

1. Transformational Journey Logline:

A Spanish War hero plotting to escape from Ottoman captivity has to choose between his freedom and the love of his life.

2. Transformational Agent – Dulcinea, the favorite concubine of Hassan Pasha, she sacrifices her freedom for the good of the other girls in the harem.

3. The Transformable Hero – Young Miguel Cervantes, a wounded veteran of the Ottoman Wars, is willing to sacrifice the lives of his fellow prisoners in order to gain his freedom.

4. The Oppression – Hassan Pasha, the ruler of Algiers, owner of slaves, holder of hostages.

5. The Betraying Character – El Lobo, the freeborn son of a successful Christian merchant, he willingly serves in Hassan Pasha’s Administration, benefitting from cruelty.

[William Peed]

Also, I’ve been thinking a lot about the gradient change and how it lends believability to the journey. I can see how in past scripts I’ve made those changes too quickly and it leaves plot holes.

[William Peed]

What I learned doing this assignment:

My character isn’t who he tells everyone he is.

Logline:

A Spanish War hero plotting his escape from an Ottoman captivity must chose between his freedom and the love of his life.

Old Ways:

Is willing to risk the lives of his comrade for his own freedom.

New Ways:

Risks his life for the freedom of the woman he loves.

[William Peed]

1. What is your profound truth?

That real love puts others before yourself

2. Audience change?

That the lives of others are more important than your personal freedom.

3. Entertainment Vehicle

Embellished As It Happened

[William Peed]

Hi! My name is Mike Peed. I’ve written 5 screenplays, working on number 6. I’m taking this class because the last two that I’ve been working need to have that profound change, and don’t. Yet. 😁