Ted Tronsen
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Ted Tronsen’s Outline Version 1
Title: Shadow Mountain
Logline: A Therapeutic Community Residence in a remote area of Oregon is struck by a string of apparent suicides, but they discover that the residents are being killed off one by one.
Horror Outline:
The outline is like having a blueprint when you’re building a house and serves as the foundation on which to build upon. I feel like I’ve completed Act I, but still need to add a lot to Act II (at least 10 more scenes), and a few more scenes to Act III.
ACT I (COMPLETE)
1. INT. ARTIST’S LOFT, SOHO, NYC – NIGHT
Inside a spacious artist’s loft, VINCENT paces back and forth surrounded by large abstract paintings on the wall. He rips a painting off the wall and smashes it. He begins splashing paint all over the paintings on the wall.
He goes on a rampage trashing the loft and everything in it. In a fit of rage, he yells and curses. In a destructive frenzy he rips paintings off the wall one by one. He smashes furniture, destroys everything in the Condo.
2. EXT. ARTIST’S LOFT BUILDING ROOFTOP – NIGHT
Vincent goes out the door into the hallway to the elevator and takes it to the roof of the building. He goes to the edge of the roof and climbs up on top of the precipice overlooking a rooftop below.
With arms outstretched he jumps and freefalls for several stories then lands hard on his feet breaking both of his legs instantly.
Horror Situation: Vincent attempts suicide by jumping off the roof.
Suspense: He goes to the edge of the roof.
Fear: He looks down over the precipice at the roof below.
Anguish: He jumps and breaks his legs.
3. EXT. THERAPEUTIC COMMUNITY RESIDENCE (TCR) IN OREGON – DAY
A car drives into a long dirt driveway leading to a large log cabin that serves as a TCR. BETHANY, an older woman with long gray hair, walks out of the house to greet the visitors. Vincent limping and his mother VICTORIA greet Bethany.
4. INT. ROCKY BROOK LOG CABIN – DAY
They enter the log cabin through the front door and walk into a large living room. There is a large fireplace with a woodstove surrounded by a couple couches and a bunch of rocking chairs. They walk into the dining room and kitchen.
Standing over the stove is JIMMY the chef. He’s wearing an apron and cooking a big pot of stew.
5. EXT. SHADOW MOUNTAIN CAMPUS – DAY
Bethany leads Vincent and Victoria around the sprawling campus. There are many gardens in a verdant valley surrounded by a lush forest and vast wilderness. It’s a sunny day and everything looks so green. They walk to the top of a hill.
At the top of the hill there is a giant stone obelisk in the center of a pentagram.
6. INT. DORMITORY CALLED THE APEX – DAY
Bethany, Victoria, and Vincent enter the dormitory revealing a long hallway with rooms on both sides. All of the doors to the rooms are closed and each one has a number at the top of the door. They walk all the way to the end of the hallway.
7. INT. ROCKY BROOK LOG CABIN – DAY
The table has been set in the dining room and Jimmy rings the dinner bell. The other seekers begin filing into the room one by one: SVETLANA, BROCK, HIDEKI, DJI DJI, JESSICA, CHRISTIAN, TANIVÉ, BOBBY, ELISE and EMILY. They sit down at the table.
8. INT. HEARTH ROOM – EVENING
After the meal all of the seekers gather in the hearth room by the wood stove. Victoria leaves and Bethany walks her out to her car. TODD, a tall, thin, middle-aged man with short dark hair enters the room and introduces himself.
Todd grabs a stack of poetry books and begins passing them out. Each seeker takes a book and looks for a poem to read. They go around the room each reading a poem, then Todd introduces the theme for the evening: Death.
**NOTE: THE FOLLOWING SCENES ARE FLASHBACKS DURING THE POETRY GROUP.**
9. INT. DJI DJI’S ROOM, MOROCCO – NIGHT
Dji Dji sits on her bed listening to dark wave electronic music. She’s writing in her diary. On the bedsheets around her she is surrounded by razor blades. She picks up one of the razor blades and slashes her wrist.
As she bleeds on her diary, she smudges it with her thumb then tastes it with her tongue. She cuts her wrist again. As her blood covers the page, she brings her wrist to her mouth and begins sucking the blood. She licks her red lips.
She places a razor blade in her mouth, and then another one. She begins chewing on the razor blades and the blood leaks out of the corners of her mouth onto the white bed sheets. She puts a few more razor blades in her mouth then swallows.
She chokes on her own blood as she tries to cough up the razor blades. She vomits blood and it splatters all over the white bed sheets. She loses consciousness and has convulsions.
Horror Situation: Dji Dji has a flashback of her suicide attempt.
Apprehension – Obviously, something bad is about to happen.
Anguish – She slices her wrists with a razor blade.
Disgust – She chews on razor blades and swallows them.
10. INT. HACHIKO TRAIN STATION, SHIBUYA, TOKYO, JAPAN – DAY
Hideki has a flashback. He is in downtown Shibuya, Tokyo at the train station near Hachiko Square. Throngs of people like ants cross the busiest intersection in the world. Hideki is carrying a briefcase, rushes quickly into the train station.
As a train approaches, Hideki jumps down on the tracks in front of it. The train slams on its brakes and a loud air horn sounds. People look down and watch as a bystander jumps down and pulls him off the tracks just in the nick of time.
Horror Situation: Hideki has a flashback of his suicide attempt.
Suspense – Hideki jumps down on the train track.
Release – Someone jumps down and pulls him off the tracks.
11. INT. ELISE’S ATTIC, LEXINGTON, MASSACHUSETTS – NIGHT
Elise is in the attic of her house. There is a single bright light bulb buzzing in the center of the attic above a chair in the middle of the room. A rope with a noose is dangling from the rafters above. Elise slowly gets up onto the chair.
Elise dangles the noose around her neck. She has a hopeless look on her face and her eyes are wide open. Her pupils are dilated, and she doesn’t blink. She just stares straight ahead and after a long pause, steps off the chair dangling.
She kicks over the chair. With both feet far off the floor, she spins as she kicks her legs and reaches up with both hands trying to grab hold of the rope. Her husband runs up the stairs and grabs her in his arms alleviating the tension.
He reaches up and is able to loosen the rope around her neck. He removes the noose and carries her in his arms. Her eyes are still wide open, and she looks as if she’s in shock. He sits down on a couch in the corner holding her in his arms.
Horror Situation: Elise has a flashback of her suicide attempt.
Apprehension – It’s obvious that she’s going to hang herself.
Panic – She spins and kicks her legs knocking over the chair.
Release – Her husband runs in and rescues her.
12. INT. EMILY’S CAR, EMBUDO, NEW MEXICO – NIGHT
Emily is driving down a winding road at night along the Rio Grande River. She holds an open bottle of Vodka in her lap with one hand as she grabs the steering wheel with her other hand swerving all over the road. Suddenly, the car plunges off the shoulder.
The headlights beam through the fog as she plunges over the embankment towards the river. The car flips over on the roof and slides down the steep slope with Emily hanging upside down wearing her seat belt. The car plummets into the river.
The car comes to abrupt halt as water begins to pour into the car from the open windows. Emily releases the seat belt and frees herself. She swims underwater to the top of the water, swims ashore and crawls out of the river under a full moon.
Horror Situation: Emily has a flashback of her near-death experience.
Apprehension – She is driving drunk.
Shock – The car plunges off the road into the river.
Release – She escapes from the car and gets out of the river.
13. INT. ADMINISTRATIVE BUILDING CALLED THE HIVE – DAY
Bethany is accompanied by an older woman with gray hair named KAREN. The seekers sit in a circle within a small room. They are in a study group studying Psychospiritualism, a book written by a German Philosopher named Hermann Thielemann.
14. INT. APEX – MORNING
At 6:15am Todd rings chimes and then knocks on all of the seeker’s doors to wake them up. If they don’t answer he opens their door to check on them. Svetlana doesn’t answer. Todd is visibly apprehensive/anxious as he opens her door.
Todd sees Svetlana naked on the floor of her room in a pool of blood after apparently slashing her wrists. Her veins were sliced open by stained glass. Todd is surprised at first and looks like he can’t believe his eyes, then he looks shocked.
He leaves the room, closes the door, then runs down the hallway and grabs a portable phone from the office. With a look of anguish and anxiety he quickly dials Bethany’s number. His hands are trembling and he is visibly upset.
Bethany arrives and she enters Svetlana’s room with Todd. Svetlana’s naked body is sprawled across the floor in a big pool of blood. It appears as if she slashed her wrists with stained glass. Bethany looks as if she’s in shock!
Horror Situation: Svetlana is found dead in her room.
Surprise – She is found naked in a pool of blood.
Shock – She has apparently committed suicide.
15. INT. ADMINISTRATIVE BUILDING CALLED THE HIVE – DAY
Bethany has called a meeting to speak to the entire staff about Svetlana’s apparent suicide. Michael, Todd, Jimmy, Karen and a few other guides are there: BILL, SAMANTHA and ASHLEY. They sit silently in a semi-circle around Bethany.
16. INT. HEARTH ROOM – EVENING
A meeting is being held to inform the remaining seekers that Svetlana has committed suicide. All of the seekers and staff gather in the hearth room. Bethany enters the room and there is total silence. She wipes away a tear and begins to speak.
17. INT. APEX – MORNING
Todd does his morning rounds knocking on doors and there is no answer at two of the rooms. When Todd enters the first room, he finds Dji Dji hanging from the ceiling.
When he enters the second room, he finds Hideki nonresponsive in his room with a needle in his arm. He immediately goes to the office and grabs the portable phone to call Bethany to tell her.
Horror Situation: Two other seekers are found dead in their rooms.
Surprise – How could 2 more seekers commit suicide?!
Shock – There are two more dead seekers!!
ACT II (This is in the second half – ACT II still needs a lot of work!)
18. INT. OREGON WILDERNESS – DAY
Michael, Todd and Jimmy take the seekers on a camping trip in a remote area of the Oregon Wilderness. They drive out into a forest in the mountains with all of the remaining seekers in a van. They hike into a remote area to camp and set up tents.
Jessica, Tanivé, Emily, Vincent, Christian, Bobby, Brock and Elise hike into the woods with 3 guides carrying back packs. They set up tents when they come to a nice campsite near a stream. They’re all visibly distressed by what happened back at Shadow Mountain.
19. EXT. OREGON WILDERNESS, CAMPSITE – EVENING
They build a campfire in the middle of the camping area and Jimmy cooks dinner. The seekers and guides sit around the camp fire talking. The seekers express their fear and doubt about the 3 deaths which have been labeled as suicides.
20. EXT. OREGON WILDERNESS, WOODS – NIGHT
Jessica walks deep into the woods and feels her way through the trees. She squats to take a piss and a masked killer with a machete is seen behind her slowly approaching. He swings his machete and nearly cuts her head off killing her instantly.
He swings the machete several more times severing her head from her body. Her head falls and rolls on the ground. He continues hacking her up with the machete and blood spurts out of her neck. After he’s done he runs back into the woods.
Horror Situation: Jessica is killed by a masked man with a machete.
Dread – The killer can be seen sneaking up behind her.
Shock – He cuts her head off with the machete!
21. EXT. OREGON WILDERNESS, CAMPSITE – NIGHT
Michael and Todd, Christian and Vincent, Emily and Elise, Brock and Tanivé pair up. They spread out in four directions and walk off into the woods CALLING Jessica’s name. They search the surrounding woods with their flashlights.
22. EXT. SURROUNDING WOODS – NIGHT
Tanivé looks around and suddenly the masked killer jumps out of the bushes with an axe. He lunges towards her. She SCREAMS at the top of her lungs. The masked killer splits her head open with an axe.
Horror Situation: Tanivé is murdered by the masked killer.
Surprise – The killer jumps out of the bushes with an axe.
Shock – He splits her head in half with the axe.
23. EXT. OREGON WILDERNESS, WOODS – NIGHT
Everyone hears Tanivé scream, and they all rush towards her to help her. Brock is first to arrive. They find her dead body with an axe wound splitting her skull in half. They are all visibly in a state of shock and go into a panic.
Horror Situation: They find Tanivé’s body and she’s been killed!
Shock – They can’t believe she’s been murdered!
Dread – Her skull is split in half!
Fear – There is a killer on the loose!
Panic – What are they going to do to survive?!
ACT III (Needs a few more scenes to be complete)
24. EXT. OREGON WILDERNESS, CAMPSITE – NIGHT
Everyone follows Todd back to the campsite and they leave everything behind. Michael grabs a kerosene lantern to help guide the seekers.
25. EXT. OREGON WILDERNESS, THE TRAIL – NIGHT
They look for the trail and start hiking back as fast as they can. Flashlights illuminate the trail. The seekers fall in line behind Todd and Michael leading the way.
26. EXT. OREGON WILDERNESS, FURTHER ALONG THE TRAIL – NIGHT
They hurriedly shuffle along the well-lit trail. The full moon helps to illuminate the trail and the woods around them. They are all visibly upset and in a state of hysteria.
27. EXT. OREGON WILDERNESS, ON TRAIL IN WOODS – NIGHT
A full moon illuminates the trail as Emily, Elise, Vincent, Christian, Brock, Todd and Michael hike away in a panic. They are being pursued by the masked killer who is now wearing night vision goggles and is hunting them.
Michael leads the way with a bright Kerosene lamp. Todd, Elise, Brock, Christian, and Emily follow in that order. Emily falls behind. She seems to get disoriented and panics.
28. EXT. OREGON WILDERNESS, FURTHER ON TRAIL – NIGHT
An arrow hits Emily in the back of the head piercing her skull. The tip of the arrow penetrates her mouth and points out like a long straight tongue. She drops lifeless to the ground.
Horror Situation: Emily falls behind and is killed with an arrow.
Panic – Emily falls behind and panics.
Horror – She is shot in the head with an arrow!
29. EXT. OREGON WILDERNESS, OFF THE TRAIL IN THE WOODS – NIGHT
Vincent looks back at her while he is running and trips over a rock rebreaking one of his legs. He is visibly in agony.
The others continue to run away moving forward on the trail. Vincent holds his leg writhing in pain on the ground. He is left behind by the others.
The masked killer can be seen lurking in the background as Vincent crawls on the ground. He turns his head and clearly sees the killer slowly walking towards him brandishing a hunting knife. Vincent is visibly afraid.
The masked killer removes his night goggles and stands over Vincent. He slashes the back of Vincent’s broken leg with his knife. Vincent screams in pain, but somehow manages to kick the killer with his other leg, knocking him down.
Vincent and the killer begin wrestling on the ground and engage in hand-to-hand combat. Vincent knocks the knife out of his hand, and they punch each other. As they struggle, the killer is able to mount Vincent, grab the knife and stab him.
The killer raises the hunting knife with both hands and brings it down with all his might stabbing Vincent repeatedly in the chest. Vincent spits blood and continues to struggle, then bleeds out and dies after being stabbed multiple times.
Horror Situation: Vincent is stalked and killed by the killer.
Anguish – Vincent trips and breaks his leg.
Fear – He sees the killer come out of the darkness.
Anguish – The killer slashes him.
Hysteria – They engage in hand-to-hand combat.
Shock – The killer stabs him to death.
30. EXT. OREGON WILDERNESS, LOST IN THE WOODS – NIGHT
Hysteria sets in when the group runs off the trail and realize they are now lost in the woods. They stop to get their bearings. Christian is shot in the chest by an arrow as he stops, turns around and looks behind him. The killer is picking them off one by one with a crossbow.
Horror Situation: They run off the trail and get lost in the woods.
Hysteria – Knowing they are going to die, hysteria sets in.
31. EXT. OREGON WILDERNESS, FURTHER IN THE WOODS – NIGHT
Guided by the North star Michael, Todd, Brock and Elise head in the direction where they think there is a road. Michael is shot in the back by an arrow. The masked killer then slits his throat killing him.
Horror Situation: Michael is killed.
Shock – The killer shoots Michael with an arrow.
Horror – The killer slits Michael’s throat killing him.
32. EXT. OREGON WILDERNESS, ON A DIRT ROAD – NIGHT
They find a dirt road and begin following it back to where they think their van is parked. Brock is shot through the neck by an arrow.
Horror Situation: Brock is killed by an arrow.
Shock – Brock is shot through the throat and killed by an arrow.
33. EXT. OREGON WILDERNESS, FURTHER ON A DIRT ROAD – NIGHT
Todd and Elise see the van parked on the side of the road and run toward it.
34. INT. INSIDE THE VAN – NIGHT
Todd gets in the driver’s seat and is killed by an arrow through the driver’s side window after turning the key in the ignition. With the motor running Elise panics and pushes Todd’s body out of the van and begins driving away.
Horror Situation: Todd is shot in the head with an arrow.
Shock – Todd is killed by an arrow as he starts the van.
Hysteria – Emily pushes his body out and drives away.
35. INT. INSIDE VAN – NIGHT
As Elise is driving, she sees the masked killer standing in the middle of the road pointing his crossbow at her.
He takes one last shot with his crossbow and the arrow smashes the windshield of the van but just barely misses Elise, however, she’s cut by the glass and blood drips from her head.
Although she’s in a state of hysteria she’s able to continue driving. She puts the petal to the metal and hits the killer.
Horror Situation: The killer tries to kill Elise, but she hits him.
Panic – Elise sees the killer in the middle of the road.
Release – He misses her but shatters the windshield cutting her.
Horror – She runs over the killer.
36. EXT. THE DIRT ROAD – NIGHT
The killer’s body appears lifeless in the middle of the road. Elise gets out of the van, and she removes the killer’s mask. It’s Jimmy! Still alive, he suddenly grabs her by the ankle tripping her up and she falls. This causes her to panic.
They begin wrestling on the ground it escalates into hysteria, but she’s able to break free and escape. He slashes her Achille’s heel with a knife, and she SCREAMS, but she’s able to limp back to the van.
Horror Situation: Elise fights with and escapes from the killer.
Panic – The killer is still alive.
Hysteria – Elise has to fight for her life and escapes.
Anguish – He slashes her Achilles’ heel.
37. INT. VAN – NIGHT
Elise hesitates for a moment after getting back in the van. She backs over Jimmy and then runs him over again. She drives away in a veil of tears as the sun rises in the distant horizon.
Horror Situation: Elise runs over the killer then drives away.
Horror: Elise runs over the killer.
Release: She drives away, the lone survivor.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR FEEDBACK!
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Ted Tronsen’s Shadow Mountain Outline Version 1
What I learned doing this assignment is that it’s important to start with an outline. The outline is like having a blueprint when you’re building a house and serves as the foundation on which to build upon. I feel like I’ve completed Act I, but still need to add a lot to Act II (at least 10 more scenes), and a few more scenes to Act III.
ACT I
1. INT. ARTIST’S LOFT, SOHO, NYC – NIGHT
Inside a spacious artist’s loft, VINCENT paces back and forth surrounded by large abstract paintings on the wall. He rips a painting off the wall and smashes it. He begins splashing paint all over the paintings on the wall.
He goes on a rampage trashing the loft and everything in it. In a fit of rage, he yells and curses. In a destructive frenzy he rips paintings off the wall one by one. He smashes furniture, destroys everything in the Condo.
2. EXT. ARTIST’S LOFT BUILDING ROOFTOP – NIGHT
Vincent goes out the door into the hallway to the elevator and takes it to the roof of the building. He goes to the edge of the roof and climbs up on top of the precipice overlooking a rooftop below.
With arms outstretched he jumps and freefalls for several stories then lands hard on his feet breaking both of his legs instantly.
Horror Situation: Vincent attempts suicide by jumping off the roof.
Suspense: He goes to the edge of the roof.
Fear: He looks down over the precipice at the roof below.
Anguish: He jumps and breaks his legs.
3. EXT. THERAPEUTIC COMMUNITY RESIDENCE (TCR) IN OREGON – DAY
A car drives into a long dirt driveway leading to a large log cabin that serves as a TCR. BETHANY, an older woman with long gray hair, walks out of the house to greet the visitors. Vincent limping and his mother VICTORIA greet Bethany.
4. INT. ROCKY BROOK LOG CABIN – DAY
They enter the log cabin through the front door and walk into a large living room. There is a large fireplace with a woodstove surrounded by a couple couches and a bunch of rocking chairs. They walk into the dining room and kitchen.
Standing over the stove is JIMMY the chef. He’s wearing an apron and cooking a big pot of stew.
5. EXT. SHADOW MOUNTAIN CAMPUS – DAY
Bethany leads Vincent and Victoria around the sprawling campus. There are many gardens in a verdant valley surrounded by a lush forest and vast wilderness. It’s a sunny day and everything looks so green. They walk to the top of a hill.
At the top of the hill there is a giant stone obelisk in the center of a pentagram.
6. INT. DORMITORY CALLED THE APEX – DAY
Bethany, Victoria, and Vincent enter the dormitory revealing a long hallway with rooms on both sides. All of the doors to the rooms are closed and each one has a number at the top of the door. They walk all the way to the end of the hallway.
7. INT. ROCKY BROOK LOG CABIN – DAY
The table has been set in the dining room and Jimmy rings the dinner bell. The other seekers begin filing into the room one by one: SVETLANA, BROCK, HIDEKI, DJI DJI, JESSICA, CHRISTIAN, TANIVÉ, BOBBY, ELISE and EMILY. They sit down at the table.
8. INT. HEARTH ROOM – EVENING
After the meal all of the seekers gather in the hearth room by the wood stove. Victoria leaves and Bethany walks her out to her car. TODD, a tall, thin, middle-aged man with short dark hair enters the room and introduces himself.
Todd grabs a stack of poetry books and begins passing them out. Each seeker takes a book and looks for a poem to read. They go around the room each reading a poem, then Todd introduces the theme for the evening: Death.
**NOTE: THE FOLLOWING SCENES ARE FLASHBACKS DURING THE POETRY GROUP.**
9. INT. DJI DJI’S ROOM, MOROCCO – NIGHT
Dji Dji sits on her bed listening to dark wave electronic music. She’s writing in her diary. On the bedsheets around her she is surrounded by razor blades. She picks up one of the razor blades and slashes her wrist.
As she bleeds on her diary, she smudges it with her thumb then tastes it with her tongue. She cuts her wrist again. As her blood covers the page, she brings her wrist to her mouth and begins sucking the blood. She licks her red lips.
She places a razor blade in her mouth, and then another one. She begins chewing on the razor blades and the blood leaks out of the corners of her mouth onto the white bed sheets. She puts a few more razor blades in her mouth then swallows.
She chokes on her own blood as she tries to cough up the razor blades. She vomits blood and it splatters all over the white bed sheets. She loses consciousness and has convulsions.
Horror Situation: Dji Dji has a flashback of her suicide attempt.
Apprehension – Obviously, something bad is about to happen.
Anguish – She slices her wrists with a razor blade.
Disgust – She chews on razor blades and swallows them.
10. INT. HACHIKO TRAIN STATION, SHIBUYA, TOKYO, JAPAN – DAY
Hideki has a flashback. He is in downtown Shibuya, Tokyo at the train station near Hachiko Square. Throngs of people like ants cross the busiest intersection in the world. Hideki is carrying a briefcase, rushes quickly into the train station.
As a train approaches, Hideki jumps down on the tracks in front of it. The train slams on its brakes and a loud air horn sounds. People look down and watch as a bystander jumps down and pulls him off the tracks just in the nick of time.
Horror Situation: Hideki has a flashback of his suicide attempt.
Suspense – Hideki jumps down on the train track.
Release – Someone jumps down and pulls him off the tracks.
11. INT. ELISE’S ATTIC, LEXINGTON, MASSACHUSETTS – NIGHT
Elise is in the attic of her house. There is a single bright light bulb buzzing in the center of the attic above a chair in the middle of the room. A rope with a noose is dangling from the rafters above. Elise slowly gets up onto the chair.
Elise dangles the noose around her neck. She has a hopeless look on her face and her eyes are wide open. Her pupils are dilated, and she doesn’t blink. She just stares straight ahead and after a long pause, steps off the chair dangling.
She kicks over the chair. With both feet far off the floor, she spins as she kicks her legs and reaches up with both hands trying to grab hold of the rope. Her husband runs up the stairs and grabs her in his arms alleviating the tension.
He reaches up and is able to loosen the rope around her neck. He removes the noose and carries her in his arms. Her eyes are still wide open, and she looks as if she’s in shock. He sits down on a couch in the corner holding her in his arms.
Horror Situation: Elise has a flashback of her suicide attempt.
Apprehension – It’s obvious that she’s going to hang herself.
Panic – She spins and kicks her legs knocking over the chair.
Release – Her husband runs in and rescues her.
12. INT. EMILY’S CAR, EMBUDO, NEW MEXICO – NIGHT
Emily is driving down a winding road at night along the Rio Grande River. She holds an open bottle of Vodka in her lap with one hand as she grabs the steering wheel with her other hand swerving all over the road. Suddenly, the car plunges off the shoulder.
The headlights beam through the fog as she plunges over the embankment towards the river. The car flips over on the roof and slides down the steep slope with Emily hanging upside down wearing her seat belt. The car plummets into the river.
The car comes to abrupt halt as water begins to pour into the car from the open windows. Emily releases the seat belt and frees herself. She swims underwater to the top of the water, swims ashore and crawls out of the river under a full moon.
Horror Situation: Emily has a flashback of her near-death experience.
Apprehension – She is driving drunk.
Shock – The car plunges off the road into the river.
Release – She escapes from the car and gets out of the river.
13. INT. ADMINISTRATIVE BUILDING CALLED THE HIVE – DAY
Bethany is accompanied by an older woman with gray hair named KAREN. The seekers sit in a circle within a small room. They are in a study group studying Psychomagic, a book written by a German Philosopher named Hermann Thielemann.
14. INT. APEX – MORNING
At 6:15am Todd rings chimes and then knocks on all of the seeker’s doors to wake them up. If they don’t answer he opens their door to check on them. Svetlana doesn’t answer. Todd is visibly apprehensive/anxious as he opens her door.
Todd sees Svetlana naked on the floor of her room in a pool of blood after apparently slashing her wrists. Her veins were sliced open by stained glass. Todd is surprised at first and looks like he can’t believe his eyes, then he looks shocked.
He leaves the room, closes the door, then runs down the hallway and grabs a portable phone from the office. With a look of anguish and anxiety he quickly dials Bethany’s number. His hands are trembling and he is visibly upset.
Bethany arrives and she enters Svetlana’s room with Todd. Svetlana’s naked body is sprawled across the floor in a big pool of blood. It appears as if she slashed her wrists with stained glass. Bethany looks as if she’s in shock!
Horror Situation: Svetlana is found dead in her room.
Surprise – She is found naked in a pool of blood.
Shock – She has apparently committed suicide.
15. INT. ADMINISTRATIVE BUILDING CALLED THE HIVE – DAY
Bethany has called a meeting to speak to the entire staff about Svetlana’s apparent suicide. Michael, Todd, Jimmy, Karen and a few other guides are there: BILL, SAMANTHA and ASHLEY. They sit silently in a semi-circle around Bethany.
16. INT. HEARTH ROOM – EVENING
A meeting is being held to inform the remaining seekers that Svetlana has committed suicide. All of the seekers and staff gather in the hearth room. Bethany enters the room and there is total silence. She wipes away a tear and begins to speak.
17. INT. APEX – MORNING
Todd does his morning rounds knocking on doors and there is no answer at two of the rooms. When Todd enters the first room, he finds Dji Dji hanging from the ceiling.
When he enters the second room, he finds Hideki nonresponsive in his room with a needle in his arm. He immediately goes to the office and grabs the portable phone to call Bethany to tell her.
Horror Situation: Two other seekers are found dead in their rooms.
Surprise – How could 2 more seekers commit suicide?!
Shock – There are two more dead seekers!!
ACT II (Second half – still needs a lot of work!)
18. INT. OREGON WILDERNESS – DAY
Michael, Todd and Jimmy take the seekers on a camping trip in a remote area of the Oregon Wilderness. They drive out into a forest in the mountains with all of the remaining seekers in a van. They hike into a remote area to camp and set up tents.
Jessica, Tanivé, Emily, Vincent, Christian, Bobby, Brock and Elise hike into the woods with the 3 guides all carrying back packs. They set up tents when they come to a nice place near a stream. They’re all visibly distressed by what happened
19. EXT. OREGON WILDERNESS, CAMPSITE – EVENING
They build a campfire in the middle of the camping area and Jimmy cooks dinner. The seekers and guides sit around the camp fire talking. The seekers express their fear and doubt about the 3 deaths which have been labeled as suicides.
20. EXT. OREGON WILDERNESS, WOODS – NIGHT
Jessica walks deep into the woods and feels her way through the trees. She squats to take a piss and a masked man with a machete is seen behind her slowly approaching. He swings his machete and nearly cuts her head off killing her instantly.
He swings the machete several more times severing her head from her body. Her head falls and rolls on the ground. He continues hacking her up with the machete and blood spurts out of her neck. After he’s done he runs back into the woods.
Horror Situation: Jessica is killed by a masked man with a machete.
Dread – The killer can be seen sneaking up behind her.
Shock – He cuts her head off with the machete!
21. EXT. OREGON WILDERNESS, CAMPSITE – NIGHT
Michael and Todd, Christian and Vincent, Emily and Elise, Brock and Tanivé pair up. They spread out in four directions and walk off into the woods CALLING Jessica’s name. They search the surrounding woods with their flashlights.
22. EXT. SURROUNDING WOODS – NIGHT
Tanivé looks around and suddenly the masked killer jumps out of the bushes with an axe. He lunges towards her. She SCREAMS at the top of her lungs. The masked killer splits her head open with an axe.
Horror Situation: Tanivé is murdered by the masked killer.
Surprise – The killer jumps out of the bushes with an axe.
Shock – He splits her head in half with the axe.
23. EXT. OREGON WILDERNESS, WOODS – NIGHT
Everyone hears Tanivé scream, and they all rush towards her to help her. Brock is first to arrive. They find her dead body with an axe wound splitting her skull in half. They are all visibly in a state of shock and go into a panic.
Horror Situation: They find Tanivé’s body and she’s been killed!
Shock – They can’t believe she’s been murdered!
Dread – Her skull is split in half!
Fear – There is a killer on the loose!
Panic – What are they going to do to survive?!
ACT III
24. EXT. OREGON WILDERNESS, CAMPSITE – NIGHT
Everyone follows Todd back to the campsite and they leave everything behind. Michael grabs a kerosene lantern to help guide the seekers.
25. EXT. OREGON WILDERNESS, THE TRAIL – NIGHT
They look for the trail and start hiking back as fast as they can. Flashlights illuminate the trail. The seekers fall in line behind Todd and Michael leading the way.
26. EXT. OREGON WILDERNESS, FURTHER ALONG THE TRAIL – NIGHT
They hurriedly shuffle along the well-lit trail. The full moon helps to illuminate the trail and the woods around them. They are all visibly upset and in a state of hysteria.
27. EXT. OREGON WILDERNESS, ON TRAIL IN WOODS – NIGHT
A full moon illuminates the trail as Emily, Elise, Vincent, Christian, Brock, Todd and Michael hike away in a panic. They are being pursued by the masked killer who is now wearing night vision goggles and is hunting them.
Michael leads the way with a bright Kerosene lamp. Todd, Elise, Brock, Christian, and Emily follow in that order. Emily falls behind. She seems to get disoriented and panics.
28. EXT. OREGON WILDERNESS, FURTHER ON TRAIL – NIGHT
An arrow hits Emily in the back of the head piercing her skull. The tip of the arrow penetrates her mouth and points out like a long straight tongue. She drops lifeless to the ground.
Horror Situation: Emily falls behind and is killed with an arrow.
Panic – Emily falls behind and panics.
Horror – She is shot in the head with an arrow!
29. EXT. OREGON WILDERNESS, OFF THE TRAIL IN THE WOODS – NIGHT
Vincent looks back at her while he is running and trips over a rock rebreaking one of his legs. He is visibly in agony.
The others continue to run away moving forward on the trail. Vincent holds his leg writhing in pain on the ground. He is left behind by the others.
The masked killer can be seen lurking in the background as Vincent crawls on the ground. He turns his head and clearly sees the killer slowly walking towards him brandishing a hunting knife. Vincent is visibly afraid.
The masked killer removes his night goggles and stands over Vincent. He slashes the back of Vincent’s broken leg with his knife. Vincent screams in pain, but somehow manages to kick the killer with his other leg, knocking him down.
Vincent and the killer begin wrestling on the ground and engage in hand-to-hand combat. Vincent knocks the knife out of his hand, and they punch each other. As they struggle, the killer is able to mount Vincent, grab the knife and stab him.
The killer raises the hunting knife with both hands and brings it down with all his might stabbing Vincent repeatedly in the chest. Vincent spits blood and continues to struggle, then bleeds out and dies after being stabbed multiple times.
Horror Situation: Vincent is stalked and killed by the killer.
Anguish – Vincent trips and breaks his leg.
Fear – He sees the killer come out of the darkness.
Anguish – The killer slashes him.
Hysteria – They engage in hand-to-hand combat.
Shock – The killer stabs him to death.
30. EXT. OREGON WILDERNESS, LOST IN THE WOODS – NIGHT
Hysteria sets in when the group runs off the trail and realize they are now lost in the woods. They stop to get their bearings. Christian is shot in the chest by an arrow as he stops, turns around and looks behind him. The killer is picking them off one by one with a crossbow.
Horror Situation: They run off the trail and get lost in the woods.
Hysteria – Knowing they are going to die, hysteria sets in.
31. EXT. OREGON WILDERNESS, FURTHER IN THE WOODS – NIGHT
Guided by the North star Michael, Todd, Brock and Elise head in the direction where they think there is a road. Michael is shot in the back by an arrow. The masked killer then slits his throat killing him.
Horror Situation: Michael is killed.
Shock – The killer shoots Michael with an arrow.
Horror – The killer slits Michael’s throat killing him.
32. EXT. OREGON WILDERNESS, ON A DIRT ROAD – NIGHT
They find a dirt road and begin following it back to where they think their van is parked. Brock is shot through the neck by an arrow.
Horror Situation: Brock is killed by an arrow.
Shock – Brock is shot through the throat and killed by an arrow.
33. EXT. OREGON WILDERNESS, FURTHER ON A DIRT ROAD – NIGHT
Todd and Elise see the van parked on the side of the road and run toward it.
34. INT. INSIDE THE VAN – NIGHT
Todd gets in the driver’s seat and is killed by an arrow through the driver’s side window after turning the key in the ignition. With the motor running Elise panics and pushes Todd’s body out of the van and begins driving away.
Horror Situation: Todd is shot in the head with an arrow.
Shock – Todd is killed by an arrow as he starts the van.
Hysteria – Emily pushes his body out and drives away.
35. INT. INSIDE VAN – NIGHT
As Elise is driving, she sees the masked killer standing in the middle of the road pointing his crossbow at her.
He takes one last shot with his crossbow and the arrow smashes the windshield of the van but just barely misses Elise, however, she’s cut by the glass and blood drips from her head.
Although she’s in a state of hysteria she’s able to continue driving. She puts the petal to the metal and hits the killer.
Horror Situation: The killer tries to kill Elise, but she hits him.
Panic – Elise sees the killer in the middle of the road.
Release – He misses her but shatters the windshield cutting her.
Horror – She runs over the killer.
36. EXT. THE DIRT ROAD – NIGHT
The killer’s body appears lifeless in the middle of the road. Elise gets out of the van, and she removes the killer’s mask. It’s Jimmy! Still alive, he suddenly grabs her by the ankle tripping her up and she falls. This causes her to panic.
They begin wrestling on the ground it escalates into hysteria, but she’s able to break free and escape. He slashes her Achille’s heel with a knife, and she SCREAMS, but she’s able to limp back to the van.
Horror Situation: Elise fights with and escapes from the killer.
Panic – The killer is still alive.
Hysteria – Elise has to fight for her life and escapes.
Anguish – He slashes her Achilles’ heel.
37. INT. VAN – NIGHT
Elise hesitates for a moment after getting back in the van. She backs over Jimmy and then drives over him again. She drives away in a veil of tears as the sun rises in the distant horizon.
Horror Situation: Elise runs over the killer then drives away.
Horror: Elise runs over the killer.
Release: She drives away, the lone survivor.
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Ted Tronsen’s Scary as Hell Scene from Shadow Mountain
What I learned doing this assignment is that it helps to use emotion in creating a scene. It is important to allow the characters to experience a variety of emotions ranging from: apprehension, surprise, shock, fear, suspense, dread, anguish, panic, horror and hysteria. I tried to include all of these emotions in my final scene.
Climax and Resolution – As Elise drives away, she sees the masked killer standing in the middle of the road in front of her which causes her fear, dread, apprehension, and surprise. He takes one last shot with his crossbow and the arrow smashes the windshield of the van but just barely misses Elise (<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>release), however, she’s cut by the glass and blood drips from her head. Although she’s in a state of <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>shock she’s able to continue driving. She puts the petal to the metal and hits the killer. This gives her a release as the killer’s body appears lifeless in the middle of the road (<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>release). She gets out of the van and thinking he’s dead she removes the killer’s mask. This finally reveals his identity: it’s Jimmy! Still alive, he suddenly grabs her by the ankle tripping her up and she falls. This causes her to <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>panic, and as they begin wrestling on the ground it escalates to <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>hysteria, but she’s able to break free and escape. He slashes her Achille’s heal with a knife causing her <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>anguish, but she’s able to limp back to the van. She hesitates for a moment then backs over him. She drives away in a veil of tears feeling
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>horrified and traumatized as the sun is just beginning to rise in the distant horizon.Horror Situation: Elise hits the masked killer with the van and thinking he is dead gets out and removes his mask. He is still alive and attacks her. He slashes her, but she is able to get away. When she gets back in the van, she backs over him and drives over him again, then drives away.
Emotional Reaction/Scene Arc: <font face=”inherit”>Elise, the lone survivor, goes through a series of emotions in the final climactic scene. At </font>first,<font face=”inherit”> she experiences fear, dread, apprehension and surprise. Then she goes through shock, panic, hysteria and anguish. Finally, she feels horrified and traumatized.</font>
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Ted Tronsen’s Scares, Releases, and Creepy moments for Shadow Mountain!
What I learned doing this assignment is that all the little things add up to create a scary horror film. To me one of the most important aspects of horror is having a creepy soundtrack to build fear and create tension. Also, certain sounds can trigger fear and apprehension, such as a wild animal howling, a twig snapping revealing an unsuspected stalker, or the sound of someone screaming in terror. I capitalized the SOUNDS in my action scenes.
EXT. OREGON WILDERNESS, CAMPSITE – NIGHT
Back at the campsite everyone is tired and decides to retire to their tents for the night. The two guides go to the big tent and the seekers pair up and go to their tents. Jimmy, Bobby and Jessica are missing. An owl HOOTS in the distance.
VINCENT
(zips up tent)
What happened to Jimmy and Bobby? They just disappeared…
CHRISTIAN
What about Jessica? She never returned.
VINCENT
It’s a starry night, maybe they decided to sit out under the stars for a while?
CHRISTIAN
Maybe?
VINCENT
I’m exhausted… that hike really wore me out. I can feel it in my legs! Goodnight Christian.
CHRISTIAN
Goodnight.
In the tent next to Christian and Vincent, Elise and Emily stay up talking. A pack of coyotes can be heard HOWLING in the distance after making a kill. The sound startles Emily curled up in her sleeping bag.
EMILY
(nervously)
Did you hear that Elise?
ELISE
Yeah, I heard it… sounds like coyotes. They howl like that after they kill their prey. It’s like a celebration.
EMILY
It sounds so primitive!
ELISE
Yeah. It’s wild isn’t it? It’s the call of the wild.
EMILY
I’ve never been this far out in the wilderness before. It doesn’t feel safe.
ELISE
We’ll be fine…
EMILY
There isn’t anything out here that could eat us is there?
ELISE
You’ve seen too many horror movies. There may be bears or wolves, but I doubt it.
EMILY
Why would they take us on a camping trip after 3 seekers killed themselves?
ELISE
I don’t know? I think they just wanted to get us out of Shadow Mountain. I think Bethany thought a change of scenery would do us some good.
EMILY
I think they should have let us go home. How can they stay open after that?
ELISE
I agree. I can see us staying after one suicide, but three deaths in two nights seems kind of suspicious.
EMILY
Do you think they could have been killed?
ELISE
I don’t know? Anything’s possible. We should probably try to get some sleep though. Goodnight.
EMILY
Goodnight.
After everyone has gone to sleep there is a loud EXPLOSION from an aerosol can of bug spray that someone threw on the fire. It startles everyone and wakes all of them up. They all get out of their tents and meet by the smoldering campfire.
MICHAEL
Okay you guys, who did that? That’s not funny!
Everyone looks on wide eyed in stunned silence. They shake their heads and shrug their shoulders.
VINCENT
Why would any of us do that? That’s ridiculous!
MICHAEL
Well someone had to do it… it didn’t just happen naturally. Someone must have thrown a can of bug spray on the fire. Who’s responsible?
ELISE
It wasn’t any of us.
TANIVÉ
Has anyone seen Jessica? She didn’t come back to the tent. I think we should look for her.
TODD
It looks like Jimmy and Bobby are still missing too. Has anyone seen them?
Everyone is lost for words and looks dumbfounded. They shake their heads.
MICHAEL
Okay, let’s break up into groups and conduct a search. Everybody grab a flashlight and pair up with someone.
Michael and Todd, Christian and Vincent, Emily and Elise, Brock and Tanivé pair up. They spread out in four directions and walk off into the woods CALLING Jessica’s name. They search the surrounding woods with their flashlights.
MICHAEL
(calling)
Jessica! Jessica! Where are you?
BROCK
(whispers softly)
Tanivé, I have to take a leak. Wait here, I’ll be right back.
TANIVÉ
Okay, but hurry up… I don’t feel safe!
Tanivé anxiously waits for Brock. She hears a twig SNAP and it startles her.
TANIVÉ
(apprehensively)
Brock, is that you?
Tanivé looks around and suddenly the masked killer jumps out of the bushes with an axe. He lunges towards her. She SCREAMS at the top of her lungs. The masked killer splits her head open with an axe.
Everyone hears Tanivé scream and they all rush towards her to help her. Brock is first to arrive. They find her dead body with an axe wound splitting her skull in half. They are all visibly in a state of shock, dread, fear, panic and hysteria.
BROCK
(yells in disgust)
What the fuck?! Tanivé!
EMILY
(screams hysterically)
Oh my God! Somebody killed her!
BROCK
Who would do this?!
MICHAEL
Okay you guys we need to get a hold of ourselves. There’s nothing we can do for Tanivé. We need to get out of here right now!
TODD
Let’s go! Follow me!
MICHAEL
Stick together!
Everyone follows Todd back to the campsite and they leave everything behind. Michael grabs a kerosene lamp to help guide the seekers. They look for the trail and start hiking back as fast as they can. Flashlights illuminate the trail.
The seekers fall in line behind Todd and Michael leading the way. They hurriedly shuffle along the well lit trail. The full moon helps to illuminate the woods around them. They are all visibly upset and in a state of shock, fear and hysteria.
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Ted Tronsen’s Level 3 Horror Emotion Scene from Shadow Mountain
What I learned doing this assignment is the importance of escalating the tension and emotions in Act III. Anguish, Panic, Horror and Hysteria are the climax of emotions. The scene I wrote is actually in the beginning of Act III, however, I believe all of these emotions are elicited by the two murders that take place back to back. First, Emily is shot in the head with an arrow from behind, then Vincent is stabbed to death by a hunting knife after tripping and breaking his leg. This is just a rough draft of this scene and I will add more detail when I edit it.
ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
Fight to the death – The seekers and guides decide to make a run for it and take flight by hiking out of the wilderness in the middle of the night. They leave their tents and most of their gear behind. There is a full moon which helps to illuminate the trail, but they also rely on flashlights and a kerosene lantern to be able to stay on the trail. A seeker (Emily) is suddenly shot in the head by an arrow. The group panics and run blindly away. The masked killer attacks another seeker (Vincent) who has fallen behind because he rebreaks a leg. They fight to the death in hand-to-hand combat and the seeker is stabbed to death by the masked killer with a hunting knife.
Monster Reveal: When Vincent engages in hand to hand combat with the masked killer, this is the first time the audience gets a good look at him, however, his identity remains a mystery.
Horror Situations: 1) Emily is shot in the head with an arrow. 2) Vincent is attacked by the killer and is stabbed to death.
Reaction: Fear, dread, panic, and hysteria.
Character Death 6: Emily
Why? She is the slowest one of the group.
How? She is shot in the head with an arrow.
Character Death 7: Vincent
Why? He rebreaks his leg and falls behind.
How? He is stabbed to death with a hunting knife.
ACT III
EXT. OREGON WILDERNESS, ON TRAIL IN WOODS – NIGHT
A full moon illuminates the trail as Emily, Elise, Vincent, Christian, Brock, Todd and Michael flee the campsite and run away in a panic. They are being pursued by the masked killer who is now wearing night vision goggles and is hunting them.
As they run along the trail, they all have flashlights and Michael is leading the way with a bright Kerosene lamp. Todd, Elise, Brock, Christian, and Emily follow in that order. Emily falls behind and is shot in the head with an arrow.
EMILY
Wait up you guys, I can’t keep up! Please!
CHRISTIAN
Hurry up Emily! We can’t slow down we’ve got to get out of here right now!
An arrow hits Emily in the back of the head piercing her skull. The tip of the arrow penetrates her mouth and points out like a long straight tongue. She drops lifeless to the ground.
Vincent looks back at her while he is running and trips over a rock rebreaking one of his legs. He is visibly in agony.
VINCENT
(as he falls)
Shit! I think I just busted my leg!!
The others continue to run away moving forward on the trail. Vincent holds his leg writhing in pain on the ground. He is left behind.
VINCENT
Ouch! It fucking hurts… Help me! Come back!!
The masked killer can be seen lurking in the background as Vincent crawls on the ground. He turns his head and clearly sees the killer slowly walking towards him brandishing a hunting knife. Vincent is visibly in a state of hysteria.
VINCENT
Get the fuck away from me you fucking psycho! What the fuck do you think you’re doing?
The masked killer removes his night goggles and stands over Vincent. He slashes the back of Vincent’s broken leg with his knife. Vincent screams in pain, but somehow manages to kick the killer with his other leg, knocking him down.
Vincent and the killer begin wrestling on the ground and engage in hand to hand combat. Vincent knocks the knife out of his hand and they punch each other. As they struggle, the killer is able to mount Vincent, grab the knife and stab him.
The killer raises the hunting knife with both hands and brings it down with all his might stabbing Vincent repeatedly in the chest. Vincent spits blood and continues to struggle, then dies after being stabbed several times.
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Ted Tronsen’s Level 2 Horror Emotions Scene in Shadow Mountain
What I learned doing this assignment is that it is important to create a sense of fear, suspense and dread. I try to achieve this by having my characters hike into a remote wilderness area in Oregon shortly after 3 of them have been found dead in their rooms at Shadow Mountain. The seekers talk amongst themselves and begin to speculate and doubt that the cause of death was suicide. The guides try to calm their nerves by telling them to “think rationally” and not get involved in “conspiracy theories.” A guide and a seeker mysteriously disappear during the conversation, and when Jessica goes off into the woods to go to the bathroom she is brutally murdered by a masked killer with a machete.
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
Isolated / Trapped / Abducted – The seekers go on a camping trip to a remote location in the wilderness with 3 guides (2 counselors Michael and Todd, and Jimmy the cook).
One of us killed – One of the seekers disappears and is killed in the woods by a masked killer with a machete. The audience does not know if the killer is a seeker, a guide, or a total stranger.
Monster Reveal: The masked killer is seen briefly wielding a machete and slicing up a seeker.
Horror Situation: One of the seekers is murdered by a masked killer wielding a machete in the woods.
Reaction: The audience experiences fear, disgust and dread.
Character Death 4: Jessica
Why? She wandered off in the woods to go to the bathroom.
How? She is murdered by being hacked up by a machete.
ACT II
INT. OREGON WILDERNESS – DAY
Michael, Todd and Jimmy take the seekers on a camping trip in a remote area of the Oregon Wilderness. They drive out into a forest in the mountains with all of the remaining seekers in a van. They hike into a remote area to camp and set up tents.
Jessica, Tanivé, Emily, Vincent, Christian, Bobby, Brock and Elise hike into the woods with the 3 guides all carrying back packs. They set up tents when they come to a nice place near a stream. They’re all visibly distressed by what happened.
MICHAEL
Okay, guys and gals, this looks like a good place to camp. Let’s set up the tents here. It looks like there’s a stream over there so we’ll have fresh water. Let’s get started…
EMILY
How many tents do we have?
MICHAEL
We have 5 tents, the 3 guides will sleep in the big tent and then the rest of you should pair up.
Jessica and Tanivé, Emily and Elise, Vincent and Christian, Bobby and Brock set up their tents; and the 3 guides set up the big tent. After they’re done setting up their tents they gather wood for the fire. They talk softly among themselves.
BROCK
I don’t think Svetlana, Dji Dji and Hideki committed suicide. I think something else happened at Shadow Mountain. None of them were suicidal and it just seems like too much of a coincidence for all of them to die like that in such a short time.
CHRISTIAN
I agree. I think they were probably murdered and Shadow Mountain is trying to cover it up so they won’t get shut down.
BROCK
Exactly! Why else would they take us camping way out here in the middle of nowhere then to try to get us to keep quiet about it? They should have let us go home, but they wouldn’t even let me call my mother.
CHRISTIAN
There should at least be some kind of investigation! The police didn’t even show up until after they found Dji Dji and Hideki dead in their rooms.
EXT. OREGON WILDERNESS, CAMPING AREA – EVENING
They build a camp fire in the middle of the camping area and Jimmy cooks dinner. The seekers and guides sit around the camp fire talking. The seekers express their fear and doubt about the 3 deaths which have been labeled as suicides.
BROCK
I spoke with Christian earlier and we both think that Svetlana, Dji Dji, and Hideki could have been killed. They weren’t suicidal and didn’t have any reason to commit suicide.
TODD
Well, when I discovered their bodies it sure looked like they had killed themselves.
MICHAEL
They had all attempted suicide in the past before coming to Shadow Mountain.
CHRISTIAN
Yeah, but c’mon, lets be honest… I think Brock is right. We have every reason to doubt it. We think Shadow Mountain is just trying to cover it up so they won’t get shut down.
MICHAEL
I don’t think Bethany would try to cover it up. She has a lot of integrity.
EMILY
(voice trembling)
What if Brock and Christian are right though? What if there is a killer?
MICHAEL
There is no killer. Let’s try to think rationally here and not get ourselves all worked up. It’s tragic that we’ve lost a few seekers, but there’s no indication that they were killed.
ELISE
But, what if they were killed? It’s improbable, but it’s not impossible!
MICHAEL
I just don’t think we should get ourselves all worked up with conspiracy theories. It’s not helpful.
TODD
We’re all just trying to reoover from the trauma of losing 3 people that we all knew and cared for. It’s hard to believe that they’re gone!
JESSICA
I have to go to the bathroom, I’ll be right back.
Jessica gets up and walks into the dense forest. It is dusk and almost dark out. Jimmy and Bobby have also disappeared. The guides and seekers finish eating their dinner and put more wood on the fire. They sit around the fire in silence.
EXT. OREGON WILDERNESS, WOODS – NIGHT
Jessica walks deep into the woods and feels her way through the trees. She squats to take a piss and a masked man with a machete is seen behind her slowly approaching. He swings his machete and nearly cuts her head off killing her instantly.
He swings the machete several more times severing her head from her body. Her head falls and rolls on the ground. He continues hacking her up with the machete and blood spurts out of her neck. After he’s done he runs back into the woods.
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Ted Tronsen’s Level 1 Horror Emotions Scene from Shadow Mountain
What I learned from doing this assignment is that it is important to create an atmosphere of evil and to gradually ratchet up the emotions from apprehension/anxiety to surprise to shock.
When Svetlana doesn’t answer her wakeup call in the morning there is apprehension and anxiety until the night watchman Todd opens her door and finds her naked in a pool of blood. This is when surprise and then shock sets in. At first Todd is surprised and can’t believe his eyes, but then it turns to shock as it starts to sink in, and he has to tell his boss what happened.
In the
Inciting Incident Todd (the night watchman) discovers one of the seekers
(Svetlana) has apparently committed suicide by slicing her wrists with stained
glass from a work of art she had created. Bethany (Todd’s boss) cannot understand why she would kill herself and thus is surprised at first. She had almost completed the yearlong program and was preparing to graduate. Also, she was supposed to attend her daughter’s wedding in a few weeks after leaving Shadow Mountain (the name of the TCR).Horror Situation: A seeker (Svetlana) is found after apparently committing suicide.
Reaction: Todd and Bethany are surprised and can’t understand why she would kill herself. They are shocked and can’t believe she’s dead.
Character Death 1: Svetlana
Why? She is the least likely to die as she just successfully completed the program.
How? Her wrists are sliced open by stained glass (but she was unknowingly strangled by the killer first).
Reaction: Todd
and Bethany are shocked as the strongest seeker becomes the sacrificial lamb
and apparently takes her own life.ACT I Inciting Incident (Page
INT. WEST WING – MORNING
At 6:15am Todd rings chimes and then knocks on all of the seeker’s doors to wake them up. If they don’t answer he has to open their door to check on them. Svetlana doesn’t answer. Todd is visibly apprehensive/anxious as he opens her door.
Todd sees Svetlana naked on the floor of her room in a pool of blood after apparently committing suicide. Her wrists are sliced open by stained glass. Todd is surprised at first and looks like he can’t believe his eyes, then he looks shocked.
He leaves the room, closes the door, then runs down the hallway and grabs a portable phone from the office. With a look of apprehension and anxiety he quickly dials Bethany’s number. His hands are trembling and he is visibly upset.
TODD
(on the phone)
Bethany, I just woke everyone up and found Svetlana naked on the floor of her room in a pool of blood. She’s non responsive and I think she’s dead.
BETHANY
This can’t be! Are you sure she’s dead? Did you check her pulse?
TODD
No, not yet… But she’s not breathing.
BETHANY
Well, check it god damn it! She was supposed to go to her daughter’s wedding next weekend after her graduation!
Todd puts down the phone and then checks Svetlana’s pulse.
TODD
There’s no pulse…
BETHANY
Hold on, I’ll be up in a minute! Don’t let any of the other seekers see her or tell them about what’s going on!
Todd makes sure all of the other seekers are up and sends them down to the main building for breakfast. They walk down the hill one by one and pass Bethany who is walking briskly up the hill towards the West Wing trying to look calm.
Bethany arrives and she enters Svetlana’s room with Todd. Svetlana’s naked body is sprawled across the floor in a big pool of blood. It appears as if she slashed her wrists with stained glass. Bethany looks on in surprise and then shock!
TODD
It looks like she slashed her wrists…
BETHANY
(with a look of surprise)
How could this be?! She was doing so well! She was all excited about graduating and then going to her daughter’s wedding! What am I going to tell her daughter?! She’ll be devastated!
TODD
What should we do? Should we call the police?
BETHANY
(in a state of shock)
Oh my God… what can we do?! Let me call her daughter first! Okay? Oh, this is terrible! Do any of the other seekers know yet?
TODD
No, not unless they overheard me on the phone with you, but I highly doubt it.
BETHANY
Well, don’t tell them… don’t tell anyone yet. Let me handle this… okay?
TODD
Yeah, sure.
Bethany exits the room, walks fast down the hallway and then quickly goes down the hill. Todd closes the door and follows her out, but he appears to be taking his time.
-
Ted Tronsen’s Horror Outline Version 1 for Shadow Mountain (Part 1)
What I learned from doing this assignment is how to use my outline to create scenes and action sequences while writing my screenplay. By using a slug line and then describing the action in detail in sets the stage for the story to unfold. Here I am including scenes from the Screenplay that I have already written for Act 1.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR (from previous outline)
Atmosphere of Evil established – In the Prologue/Opening Scene Vincent attempts suicide by jumping off the roof of an apartment building in SOHO. He survives the fall and then checks into a Therapeutic Community Residence in a remote part of Oregon to recover. As a new seeker Vincent is introduced to the philosophy behind the TCR where he has just arrived, it seems like some kind of strange spiritual cult. In a Poetry group the theme is “Death.” Then in a Study group they discuss the principles of Psychomagic which is Pagan in origin and based on the ancient practice of witchcraft or “black magic.” Early on the audience will begin to sense an “atmosphere of evil.” Something definitely seems off!
Horror Situation: Vincent attempts suicide by jumping off a rooftop and falling several stories landing on a roof below, but he miraculously survives with relatively minor injuries (broken legs).
Reaction: Fear, Panic, Shock.
Connect with the characters – The characters have flashbacks of their suicide attempts as they are reading and writing poetry. Some of them share their traumatic life experiences with the group, but others are too traumatized to share.
Horror Situation: While writing poetry on the theme of death a few of the seekers experience flashbacks of their traumatic suicide attempts.
Reaction: Each seeker/client having a flashback is visibly overcome with emotion.
HORROR OUTLINE VERSION 1
ACT I
INT. ARTIST’S LOFT, SOHO, NY – NIGHT
Inside a spacious artist’s loft, VINCENT paces back and forth surrounded by large abstract paintings on the wall. Sirens wail on the street far below. He goes to the counter and snorts a line of ketamine through a straw. His pupils dilate.
The room begins to change and contort around him as the ketamine kicks in. The walls seem to close in around him. He rips a painting off the wall and smashes it. He begins splashing paint all over the paintings on the wall.
He goes on a rampage trashing the loft and everything in it. In a fit of rage, he yells and curses.
In a destructive frenzy he rips paintings off the wall one by one smashing the frames and ripping the canvas. He sucks red oil paint out of the container, and it drips out of his mouth like blood. He smashes furniture, destroys everything.
He goes out the door into the hallway to the elevator and then goes to the roof of the building. He goes to the edge of the roof and climbs up on top of the precipice overlooking a rooftop below. Bright New York City lights surround him.
He closes his eyes and imagines a bird in flight. A hawk can be seen with spread wings soaring in a blue sky. With arms outstretched he jumps and freefalls for several stories then lands hard on his feet breaking both of his legs instantly.
Unable to get up but still conscious he screams in pain. Someone overlooking the rooftop he landed on notices and calls 911. The fire department and an ambulance rush to the scene. Paramedics give him a shot and he passes out.
Sirens blare as an ambulance rushes Vincent to the hospital. He is in critical condition, but appears to still be alive.
INT. HEARTH ROOM – EVENING
After the meal all of the seekers gather in the hearth room by the wood stove. Victoria leaves and Bethany walks her out to her car. TODD, a tall, thin, middle aged man with short dark hair enters the room and introduces himself.
Todd grabs a stack of poetry books and begins passing them out. Each seeker takes a book and looks for a poem to read. They go around the room each reading a poem, then Todd introduces the theme for the evening: Death.
After reading a poem Todd pauses for a few seconds and looks around the room at each seeker for a moment that seems like an eternity. He passes out pieces of paper and pens and then sits back down with a mischievous smile on his face.
The seekers look at each other with strange glances as if they don’t know what to do, and then begin writing. There is an expression on Dji Dji’s face as if she suddenly gets it, like I light bulb went off in her head and then a flashback.
INT. DJI DJI’S ROOM – NIGHT
Dji Dji sits on her bed listening to dark wave electronic music. She’s writing in her diary. On the bedsheets around her she is surrounded by razor blades. She picks up one of the razor blades and cuts her wrist bleeding over the page.
The blood drips on her diary and she smudges it with her thumb then tastes it with her tongue. She cuts herself again. As her blood covers the page she brings her wrist to her mouth and begins sucking the blood. She licks her red lips.
She places a razor blade in her mouth, and then another one. She begins chewing on the razor blades and the blood leaks out of the corners of her mouth onto the white bed sheets. She puts a few more razor blades in her mouth then swallows.
She chokes on her own blood as she tries to cough up the razor blades. She vomits blood and it splatter over the white bed sheets. She loses consciousness and has convulsions.
INT. HEARTH ROOM -EVENING
Now, back in the present moment, the seekers are all writing profusely as they sit in a circle. Todd glances at Dji Dji as she writes in red ink on the white piece of paper. She is a sexy young woman with long dark hair and smooth tan skin.
Then, Todd notices Hideki beginning to cry. He breaks down and begins sobbing. Everyone stops writing a looks at him.
INT. HACHIKO TRAIN STATION, SHIBUYA, TOKYO, JAPAN – DAY
Hideki has a flashback. He is in downtown Shibuya, Tokyo at the train station near Hachiko Square. Throngs of people like ants cross the busiest intersection in the world. Hideki is carrying a briefcase, rushes quickly into the train station.
As a train approaches, Hideki jumps down on the tracks in front of it. The train slams on its brakes and a loud air horn sounds. People gather around and look down and watch as a bystander jumps down and pull him off the subway tracks.
INT. HEARTH ROOM – EVENING
Back to the present moment, Todd gets up and approaches Hideki on the couch. He gently touches his shoulder then begins rubbing his back. Hideki covers his face in his hands trying to suppress his sobbing. The seekers watch in silence.
Hideki lifts up his head and looks around the room at the other seekers. He wipes his tears away with the sleeve of his shirt. The other seekers look at him with compassion. Todd hands Hideki a Kleenex and he blows his nose. Then dead silence.
The seekers begin writing again while Todd observes them. He notices Elise’s hand beginning to shake as she writes. Elise is having a flashback.
INT. ELISE’S ATTIC – NIGHT
Elise is in the attic of her house. There is a single bright light bulb buzzing in the center of the attic above a chair in the middle of the room. A rope with a noose is dangling from the rafters above. Elise slowly gets up onto the chair.
Elise dangles the noose around her neck. She has a hopeless look on her face and her eyes are wide open. Her pupils are dilated and she doesn’t blink. She just stares straight ahead and then after a long pause, steps off the chair and dangles.
She kicks over the chair. With both feet far off the floor she spins as she kicks her legs and reaches up with both hands trying to grab hold of the rope. Her husband runs up the stairs and grabs her in his arms alleviating the tension.
He reaches up and is able to loosen the rope around her neck. He removes the noose and carries her in his arms. Her eyes are still wide open and she looks as if she’s in shock. He sits down on a large couch in the corner holding her close.
Elise stands up and walks out of the room to go to the bathroom. Todd looks at Emily as she writes frantically scrawling words across the page. She closes her eyes and has a flashback.
INT. EMILY’S CAR – NIGHT
Emily is driving down a winding dirt road at night along a meandering river. She holds an open bottle of Vodka in her lap with one hand as she grabs the steering wheel with her other hand. Suddenly, the car plunges off the shoulder.
The headlights beam through the fog as she plunges over the embankment towards the river. The car flips over on the roof and slides down the steep slope with Emily hanging upside down wearing her seat belt. The car plummets into the river.
The car comes to abrupt halt as water begins to pour into the car from the open windows. Emily releases the seat belt and frees herself. She swims underwater to the top of the river then swims ashore beneath a full moon near a covered bridge.
INT. HEARTH ROOM – EVENING
Todd looks around the room and it appears as if everyone is done writing.
INT. ADMINISTRATIVE BUILDING CALLED THE HIVE – DAY
Bethany is accompanied by an older woman with gray hair named KAREN. The seekers sit in a circle around a small room.
They are in a study group studying the work of Hermann Thielemann, a German philosopher who wrote The Unforgettable Fire and founded the Astoria School.
The seekers compliantly open their books to the designated page and take turns reading aloud.
Vincent is visibly disturbed and feels uncomfortable after the reading. A few of the seekers giggle. Karen looks at them with a stern look of disapproval and they quickly stop laughing. She speaks in an authoritative voice to regain control of the study group.
I will post more scenes to complete Outline Version 1 later…
-
Ted Tronsen’s Shadow Mountain Character Journey Track
What I learned doing this assignment is that each character must have an arc from beginning to end (of their life). Each character serves a purpose and fulfills a specific role in the group. It’s important to know your characters before you start writing the script. I have not incorporated these 15 Character Arcs into my outline yet.
1) Michael
A. What is their Character Profile?
Role: Guide/Gardener, Rescuer, The
voice of reason.
Traits: Gregarious, Dependable, Dedicated. Fears: Doing the wrong thing…
being wrong.
Wants/Needs: Wants to help
seekers/clients.
Likability / Rooting factors: Charismatic,
he’s the “good guide.”
How they react under stress:
Very well, but not at first.
Relationship with other
characters: Great!B. What is their Character Journey for this story?
Character Intro: Michael is the
lead day guide at Shadow Mountain and has worked his way up quickly. He’s
taken on additional responsibilities and is very well liked by the
Executive Director. He is a “Renaissance Man” and good at everything he
puts his mind to, but he is not prepared for the killer.
Denial: He denies there is a
killer until it becomes blatantly obvious.
Their reaction at first horror:
Disbelief.
Relation to group after first
horror: Put on a happy face.
How they fight back: He leads
the group as they try to get away at the end.
End Point: He is killed by the
killer.
What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience? He stuck it out for as long as he
could.2) Todd
A. What is their Character Profile?
Role: Overnight Guide, Rescuer, The
clever one.
Traits: Reliable, Committed,
Protective.
Fears: Things not going
according to plan.
Wants/Needs: To be able to sleep
at night.
Likability / Rooting factors: Honest,
he’s the “cool guide.”
How they react under stress:
Very well, calm, cool and collected.
Relationship with other
characters: Very good!B. What is their Character Journey for this story?
Character Intro: Todd is the
lead overnight guide and has been working at Shadow Mountain the longest.
With his seniority comes a lot of experience. He is good at keeping the
seekers/clients calm but loses control at the end.
Denial: He is in denial about
making it out alive.
Their reaction at first horror:
Can’t believe it!
Relation to group after first
horror: This is serious!
How they fight back: He fights
back by successfully leading the only survivor out of the wilderness and
back to the van.
End Point: He is killed when he
turns the key in the ignition of the van.
What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience? He lasted the longest and was the
strongest.3) Jimmy
A. What is their Character Profile?
Role: The Chef, the Killer, and
the “Carrier.”
Traits: He has a fiery temper
and is very passionate.
Fears: Afraid of being identified
and caught.
Wants/Needs: He needs to kill.
Likability / Rooting factors: He
is big and acts goofy.
How they react under stress: Very
well.
Relationship with other
characters: He is liked but distant.B. What is their Character Journey for this story?
Character Intro: Jimmy just
joined the staff at Shadow Mountain as the chef. Nobody really knows him
yet, but he seems likable.
Denial: He is in denial about
being evil and thinks he is just putting people out of their misery.
Their reaction at first horror:
Acts surprised.
Relation to group after first
horror: Tries to comfort them.
How they fight back: He kills
people one by one.
End Point: He is seriously injured
at the end but survives.
What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience? His survival brings a sense of
dread.4) Brock
A. What is their Character Profile?
Role: The Leader.
Traits: Punctual, levelheaded, dedicated.
Fears: He’s afraid of not being
on time.
Wants/Needs: Efficiency and
comfort.
Likability / Rooting factors: He’s
a standup guy.
How they react under stress:
Reacts nonchalantly.
Relationship with other
characters: He is their leader.B. What is their Character Journey for this story?
Character Intro: Brock has been
at Shadow Mountain for over a year now and has stayed past his graduation
to make sure he is able to fully recover. He has a strong personality, and
the other seekers/clients look at him for leadership.
Denial: He denies that the
seekers are committing suicide.
Their reaction at first horror:
Doubt
Relation to group after first
horror: Leads them to believe there is a murderer.
How they fight back: He lasts
until the very end and is instrumental in their escape.
End Point: He is killed.
What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience? He was right about there being a
killer.5) Svetlana
A. What is their Character Profile?
Role: The Sacrificial Lamb
Traits: She has a strong accent
and personality!
Fears: Afraid of not taking her
medication.
Wants/Needs: She wants things to
run smoothly.
Likability / Rooting factors:
She just finished the program!
How they react under stress: Not
well.
Relationship with other
characters: She is the mother figure.B. What is their Character Journey for this story?
Character Intro: Svetlana is
from Russia and has just recently completed the year long program. She has
stayed on an extra month to be able to attend her daughter’s wedding in
the U.S. before returning to Russia.
Denial: Leaving Shadow Mountain.
Their reaction at first horror:
Death
Relation to group after first
horror: Dead
How they fight back: She doesn’t
have a chance.
End Point: Death. She is killed,
but the murderer makes it look like a suicide.
What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience? Her death brings a reality check to
the others.6) Dji Dji
A. What is their Character Profile?
Role: The innocent one, love
interest, monster bait
Traits: Innocent, Attractive,
Exotic
Fears: Being alone.
Wants/Needs: To feel safe, to be
protected.
Likability / Rooting factors:
She is very beautiful!
How they react under stress: Seemingly
well.
Relationship with other
characters: Good.B. What is their Character Journey for this story?
Character Intro: Dji Dji is from
Africa, so she is a foreigner who is naïve to the American way. She is
very innocent, but longs for attention. She is quiet and demure.
Denial: She thinks she is safe.
Their reaction at first horror:
Shock
Relation to group after first
horror: Withdraws
How they fight back: Hides in
her room.
End Point: She is killed, but the murderer makes it look like a suicide.
What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience? Did she really commit suicide or
was she killed?7) Hideki
A. What is their Character Profile?
Role: Loner/Introvert
Traits: Intuitive, Optimistic, Polite
Fears: Not fitting in.
Wants/Needs: Calmness and
serenity.
Likability / Rooting factors: He
is the quiet one.
How they react under stress:
Remains calm.
Relationship with other
characters: Good.B. What is their Character Journey for this story?
Character Intro: Hideki is from
Tokyo and is nearing completion of the one-year Shadow Mountain program.
Denial: He will complete the
program.
Their reaction at first horror: Skepticism.
Relation to group after first
horror: Conspiracy theorist.
How they fight back: He senses
danger.
End Point: He is killed, but the
murderer makes it look like a suicide.
What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience? There could be a killer on the
loose?8) Jessica
A. What is their Character Profile?
Role: Moral One
Traits: Friendly, Courteous, Kind
Fears: Death
Wants/Needs: Social Justice
Warrior
Likability / Rooting factors:
She cares about others.
How they react under stress:
Well.
Relationship with other
characters: Good.B. What is their Character Journey for this story?
Character Intro: Jessica is not
a well-developed character and is the first to disappear on the camping
trip. Not much is known about her aside from her being a Social Justice
Warrior.
Denial: Death
Their reaction at first horror: Judgement
Relation to group after first
horror: Worried
How they fight back: Doesn’t.
End Point: She is killed. Death.
What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience? None9) Tanivé
A. What is their Character Profile?
Role: Love interest, Sex Object
Traits: Flirtatious, Friendly,
Beautiful, Exotic
Fears: The Dark
Wants/Needs: To be admired and
given attention.
Likability / Rooting factors:
She’s hot!
How they react under stress: Not
well.
Relationship with other
characters: Very good.B. What is their Character Journey for this story?
Character Intro: Tanivé is from
Mexico and is relatively new to Shadow Mountain. She is very inquisitive
and flirtatious. She’s a sexy siren.
Denial: There is a killer on the
loose.
Their reaction at first horror: Surprise
Relation to group after first
horror: Follower
How they fight back: Tries to
help.
End Point: She is killed. Death.
What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience? None10) Emily
A. What is their Character Profile?
Role: The Victim, Complainer
Traits: Negative, Depressed, Difficult
Fears: Not getting sympathy.
Wants/Needs: Attention.
Likability / Rooting factors: Feel
sorry for her. “Poor me!”
How they react under stress: Not
well.
Relationship with other
characters: Not good.B. What is their Character Journey for this story?
Character Intro: Emily was
molested as a child and raped by her father. She carries this guilt and
shame with her and knows how to make everyone around her feel like shit.
Denial: Being liked.
Their reaction at first horror:
Shock
Relation to group after first
horror: Follower
How they fight back: She runs
away…
End Point: Death. She’s killed.
What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience? None11) Vincent
A. What is their Character Profile?
Role: Struggling/Frustrated
Artist, Moral One, New Guy
Traits: Artistic, Passionate, Intelligent
Fears: Not being famous.
Wants/Needs: Fame and fortune.
Likability / Rooting factors: He’s
very interesting!
How they react under stress: Well.
Relationship with other
characters: Very good.B. What is their Character Journey for this story?
Character Intro: Vincent is the
newest seeker/client to arrive at Shadow Mountain. He’s recovering from leg
injuries after jumping off a rooftop in NYC in a failed suicide attempt.
He has a lot of integrity and is serious about his recovery.
Denial: He’s going to recover.
Their reaction at first horror: Disgust
Relation to group after first
horror: Difficulty fitting in.
How they fight back: Fights the
killer.
End Point: Killed. Death.
What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience? They’re all doomed!12) Christian
A. What is their Character Profile?
Role: Rebel/Rule Breaker, Out of
control/Obnoxious
Traits: Rebel without a cause,
Defiant, Rule Breaker
Fears: Conforming
Wants/Needs: Attention
Likability / Rooting factors:
Not likable.
How they react under stress:
Very well.
Relationship with other
characters: Not good.B. What is their Character Journey for this story?
Character Intro: Christian is
from Southern California and has a bad attitude. He doesn’t want to be at
the program and is only there because his parents are forcing him to do
it.
Denial: About Life and Death.
Their reaction at first horror:
Doesn’t care.
Relation to group after first
horror: Outcast.
How they fight back: He runs
away.
End Point: Death. He’s killed.
What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience? Sometimes the bad ass lives longer.13) Bobby
A. What is their Character Profile?
Role: Red Herring
Traits: Acts crazy, Aggressive,
Noncompliant
Fears: Doesn’t seem to have any.
Wants/Needs: Attention
Likability / Rooting factors:
None
How they react under stress: Not
well.
Relationship with other
characters: Not good.B. What is their Character Journey for this story?
Character Intro: Bobby is the
red herring in that he could be the killer and the other seekers suspect
that it is him after he mysteriously disappears, and the murders begin.
Denial: Sanity
Their reaction at first horror:
Laughs
Relation to group after first
horror: Ostracized
How they fight back: Disappears
End Point: Not known.
What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience? He could be the killer?14) Elise
A. What is their Character Profile?
Role: The Survivor,
Traits: Highly intelligent, Very
Attractive, Spiritual
Fears: Death
Wants/Needs: To survive and stay
alive.
Likability / Rooting factors:
She is very likable!
How they react under stress:
Very well.
Relationship with other
characters: Very good.B. What is their Character Journey for this story?
Character Intro: Elise seems to
be the model seeker/client. She is very serious about starting a new life
and believes that her suicide attempt was just a new beginning for her, a
liberation.
Denial: She lives in acceptance.
Their reaction at first horror:
Shock
Relation to group after first
horror: Female lead.
How they fight back: She
successfully escapes and survives.
End Point: She drives away. The
lone survivor of the group.
What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience? No matter how bad it gets, you can
overcome all odds and survive.15) Bethany
A. What is their Character Profile?
Role: Executive Director of
Shadow Mountain
Traits: Strong Willed, Spiritual,
Compassionate
Fears: Shadow Mountain closing.
Wants/Needs: To keep Shadow
Mountain going.
Likability / Rooting factors: She’s
charismatic.
How they react under stress:
Very well.
Relationship with other
characters: Very good.B. What is their Character Journey for this story?
Character Intro: Bethany is the
founder and Executive Director of Shadow Mountain which is a Therapeutic
Community Residence (TCR) offering suicide survivors a chance to recover
from their trauma without the use of psychiatric drugs/psychotropic
medication.
Denial: People can be cured
without medicine.
Their reaction at first horror:
Anger.
Relation to group after first
horror: They lose faith in her.
How they fight back: She refuses
to shut down Shadow Mountain, even after there are a few apparent suicides.
End Point: Shadow Mountain must
shut down.
What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience? Did she care more about the
seekers/clients or their money? -
Ted Tronsen’s Monster Reveal Track
What I learned doing this assignment is that it is important to engage the audience with the mystery of the monster (or in my case the killer). I’m wondering if the monster can be the self of each seeker in the beginning as they have flashbacks of their suicide attempts. If they tried to kill themselves then the attempted murderer would be themselves.
A. Who is your monster and what is their terror? My monster is revealed to be a serial killer who is killing off characters one by one. His terror is by being a killing machine, he can kill anyone at any time, although he prefers to kill them at night under the cover of darkness to avoid detection and to give him the element of surprise.
Powers? He can overpower his
victims and kill them silently. He is adept at using different weapons,
including his strong hands. He strangles his first few victims and then
stages it to look like they were suicides to evade getting caught. He wears
a mask and has night vision goggles so he can see in the dark. He kills at
night under the veil of darkness to catch his victims off guard.
Limitations? His biggest limitation
is that he is human and can be caught, injured, or killed so he must be careful,
methodical, and smart. He is limited by his large body and is not as fast
as some of his prey, but he makes up for it by using a crossbow when he is
hunting when his victims are running away.
Weaknesses? His weakness is his
lust for blood and the irresistible urge to kill. He believes he’s putting
people out of their misery by killing them. He is overconfident at the end
which is why he gets seriously injured when he is run over by a van after
standing in the road to get a good shot at the driver with his crossbow.
Plan/Purpose/Appetite? His plan,
purpose, and appetite is to kill everyone he can.B. Sequence the reveals (see below beginning at the end of ACT 1).
C. Create Demand for each clue/reveal. The audience should be trying to figure out who the killer is until the very end when his mask is removed revealing his identity.
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
Atmosphere of Evil established – In the Prologue/Opening Scene Vincent attempts suicide by jumping off the roof of an apartment building in Brooklyn. He survives the fall and then checks into a Therapeutic Community Residence to recover. As a new seeker Vincent is introduced to the philosophy behind the TCR where he has just arrived, it seems like some kind of strange spiritual cult. In a Poetry group the theme is “Death.” Then in a Study group they discuss the principles of Psychomagic which is Pagan in origin and based on the ancient practice of witchcraft or “black magic.” Early on the audience will begin to sense an “atmosphere of evil.” Something definitely seems off!
Horror Situation: Vincent attempts suicide by jumping off a rooftop and falling several stories landing on a roof below, but he miraculously survives with minor injuries (broken legs).
Reaction: Fear, Panic, Shock.
Connect with the characters – The characters have flashbacks of their suicide attempts as they are reading and writing poetry. Some of them share their traumatic life experiences with the group, but others are too traumatized to share.
Horror Situation: While writing poetry on the theme of death a few of the seekers experience flashbacks of their traumatic suicide attempts.
Reaction: Each seeker having a flashback is visibly overcome with emotion.
The characters are warned not to do it – The characters are warned to reach out for help if they are in crisis or having suicidal thoughts. All sharp objects are kept in a safe and only given to the seekers (clients) upon request and under close supervision.
Horror Situation: There are numerous knives and razor blades that a seeker could use to self-harm, but they are kept in a safe.
Reaction: There is a false sense of security that the seekers are safe from harm because all sharps are locked in the safe.
Denial of Horror – In the Inciting Incident one of the seekers (Svetlana) apparently commits suicide by slicing her wrists with stained glass from a work of art she had created, the other seekers and staff cannot understand why she would kill herself. She had almost completed the program and was preparing to graduate. Also, she was supposed to attend her daughter’s wedding in a few weeks after leaving The Unforgettable Fire (the name of the TCR).
Horror Situation: A seeker (Svetlana) is found after apparently committing suicide.
Reaction: The remaining seekers are all shocked and the staff can’t understand why she would kill herself.
Character Death 1: Svetlana
Why? She is the least likely to die as she just completed the program.
How? Her wrists are sliced open by stained glass, but she was strangled first.
as one of the strongest among them becomes the sacrificial lamb and apparently takes her own life.
Monster: The nature of the beast. – The killer’s presence will not be revealed until after 2 other apparent suicides: a hanging and a drug overdose. The seekers and staff begin to question the suicides and begin to wonder if maybe they are being murdered and that the suicides are being staged by the killer to cover up his crimes. This is the Act 1 Turning Point and/or the plot point leading to Act 2.
Horror Situations: There are two more apparent suicides. Dji Dji is found hanging from a sheet in her room, but she has apparently been sexually assaulted first. Hideki has died of an apparent drug overdose, but he was clean and in recovery so it doesn’t make sense.
Reaction: The seekers and staff are in shock and disbelief and begin to question if the victims committed suicide or were murdered?
Monster Reveal: It is not until this point that the seekers and staff start to question the deaths. Did the victims commit suicide or were they murdered? If they were killed then there is a killer or monster in their midst. If there is a killer on the loose then who is it? A seeker, a guide, or a total stranger?
Character Death 2: Dji Dji
Why? She is the prettiest and most vulnerable.
How? She is found hanging from a sheet in her room but was strangled to death first.
Character Death 3: Hideki
Why? He is the one who was most likely to figure out the killer.
How? He dies of an apparent drug overdose but was actually strangled to death first.
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
Isolated / Trapped / Abducted – The seekers go on a camping trip to a remote location in the wilderness with 3 guides (2 counselors Michael and Todd, and Jimmy the cook).
One of us killed – One of the seekers disappears and is killed in the woods by a masked killer with a machete. The audience does not know if the killer is a seeker, a guide or a total stranger.
Monster Reveal: The masked killer is seen briefly wielding a machete and slicing up a seeker.
Horror Situation: One of the seekers is murdered by a masked killer wielding a machete in the woods.
Reaction: The audience experiences fear, disgust and dread.
Character Death 4: Jessica
Why? She wandered off in the woods to go to the bathroom.
How? She is murdered by being shredded by a machete.
MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought!
Full pursuit by the killer – the seekers go to sleep in their tents thinking that the fire will die out, however, they are awakened by a raging inferno. The killer has built up a huge bonfire in the middle of the campsite where the fire pit is. The seekers and guides try to extinguish the fire by shoveling dirt and pouring water on it. In the process of getting water from a nearby stream, another seeker disappears and is murdered with an axe by the masked killer. A guide (Jimmy the cook) and a seeker (Bobby) have mysteriously disappeared.
Monster Reveal: The masked killer is seen again briefly hacking up another seeker with an axe. The audience will wonder who is behind the mask: Is it Jimmy the cook, Bobby the seeker, or someone else?
Horror Situation: Another seeker is murdered by a masked killer by being hacked to pieces by an axe.
Reaction: The audience experiences more fear, disgust, and dread.
Character Death 5: Tanivé
Why? She leaves the group to go get water to put out the fire.
How? She is hacked to pieces by an axe.
Terrorized – With 3 seekers and one guide already missing, the remaining seekers and guides begin to search for them and find one of the seeker’s mutilated bodies which has been hacked to pieces by an axe murderer. This is when they realize that they are being hunted and that there is a serial killer stalking them in the darkness.
Monster Reveal: This is when the remaining seekers and guides realize there is a killer murdering them one by one.
Horror Situation: They find the mutilated body of one of the seekers that was murdered in the woods.
Reaction: This is when the seekers and guides experience shock, dread, fear and panic.
ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
Fight to the death – The seekers and guides decide to make a run for it and take flight by hiking out of the wilderness in the middle of the night. They leave their tents and most of their gear behind. There is a full moon which helps to illuminate the trail, but they also rely on flashlights and a kerosene lantern to be able to stay on the trail. A seeker (Emily) is suddenly shot in the head by an arrow. The group panics and run blindly away. The masked killer attacks another seeker (Vincent) who has fallen behind because he rebreaks a leg. They fight to the death in hand-to-hand combat and the seeker is stabbed to death by the masked killer with a hunting knife.
Monster Reveal: When Vincent engages in hand to hand combat with the masked killer, this is the first time the audience gets a good look at him, however, his identity remains a mystery.
Horror Situations: 1) Emily is shot in the head with an arrow. 2) Brock is attacked by the killer and is stabbed to death.
Reaction: Fear, dread, panic, and hysteria.
Character Death 6: Emily
Why? She is one of the slower ones of the group.
How? She is shot in the head with an arrow.
Character Death 7: Vincent
Why? He rebreaks his leg and falls behind.
How? He is stabbed to death with a hunting knife.
Hysteria – Hysteria ensues when the group runs off the trail and realize they are now lost in the woods. Another seeker (Christian) is shot in the chest by an arrow as he stops, turns around and looks behind him. The killer is picking them off one by one with a crossbow.
Monster Reveal: Christian gets a brief look at the masked killer at a distance before he is struck by an arrow.
Horror Situation: Lost in the woods, Christian is killed by an arrow.
Reaction: Fear, panic, dread, and hysteria.
Character Death 8: Christian
Why? He stops, turns around and looks behind him.
How? Shot in the chest with an arrow.
The thrilling escape from death – Guided by the North star the remaining seekers and guides head in the direction where they think there is a road. One of the guides (Michael) is killed by an arrow in the back. They find a road and begin following it back to where they think their van is parked. Another seeker (Brock) is killed by an arrow.
Horror Situations: Michael and Brock are killed by arrows.
Reaction: Fear, panic, dread, and hysteria.
Character Death 9: Michael
Why? He is in the rear of the group trying to shield the seekers.
How? Shot in the back with an arrow.
Character Death 10: Brock
Why? He is the last one and is behind the others.
How? Shot through the neck with an arrow.
Death returns to take one or more – At this point there is only one seeker (Elise) and one guide (Todd) still alive. When they get back to the van the guide is killed by an arrow through the driver’s side window after turning the key in the ignition. With the motor running the hysterical seeker pushes the guide’s body out of the van and begins driving away.
Horror Situation: Another guide is killed when he is shot in the side of the head by an arrow.
Reaction: The only surviving seeker experiences, fear, panic, and hysteria.
Character Death 11: Todd
Why? He is starting the van to get away and save Elise.
How? He is shot in the side of the head with an arrow.
Resolution – As Elise drives away, she sees the masked killer standing in the middle of the road in front of her. He takes one last shot with his crossbow and the arrow smashes the windshield of the van but just barely misses Elise and she’s able to continue driving. She puts the petal to the metal and runs the killer over. She gets out of the van and thinking he’s dead she removes the killer’s mask. This finally reveals his identity: it’s Jimmy! Still alive, he suddenly grabs her by the ankle, and she falls down. They begin wrestling on the ground, but because of his injuries, she’s able to break free. He slashes her Achille’s heal, but she’s able to limp back to the van. She backs over him then drives away in a veil of tears as the sun is just beginning to rise in the distant horizon.
Monster Reveal: This is when the killer’s identity is finally revealed when Elise removes his mask. It’s Timmy the cook!
Horror Situation: Elise hits the masked killer with the van and thinking he is dead gets out and removes his mask. He is still alive and attacks her. He slashes her, but she is able to get away. When she gets back in the van, she backs over him and drives over him again, then drives away.
Reaction: Elise, the lone survivor, is hysterical, but the audience feels temporarily relieved after she gets away and runs over the killer again and drives away. Is he dead yet?! No, his eyes are still open, there must be a sequel!
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Ted Tronsen’s Character Death Track (Total of 11):
What I learned from listing the character death track is that there must be a reason why each character is killed. Also, you should mix it up and have each character killed in a unique way.
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
Atmosphere of Evil established – In the Prologue/Opening Scene Vincent attempts suicide by jumping off the roof of an apartment building in Brooklyn. He survives the fall and then checks into a Therapeutic Community Residence to recover. As a new seeker Vincent is introduced to the philosophy behind the TCR where he has just arrived, it seems like some kind of strange spiritual cult. In a Poetry group the theme is “Death.” Then in a Study group they discuss the principles of Psychomagic which is Pagan in origin and based on the ancient practice of witchcraft or “black magic.” Early on the audience will begin to sense an “atmosphere of evil.” Something definitely seems off!
Horror Situation: Vincent attempts suicide by jumping off a roof.
Reaction: Fear, Panic, Shock.
Connect with the characters – The characters have flashbacks of their suicide attempts as they are reading and writing poetry. Some of them share their traumatic life experiences with the group, but others are too traumatized to share.
Horror Situation: While writing poetry on the theme of death a few of the seekers experience flashbacks of their traumatic suicide attempts.
Reaction: Each seeker having a flashback is visibly overcome with emotion.
The characters are warned not to do it – The characters are warned to reach out for help if they are in crisis or having suicidal thoughts. All sharp objects are kept in a safe and only given to the seekers (clients) upon request and under close supervision.
Horror Situation: There are numerous knives and razor blades that a seeker could use to self-harm, but they are kept in a safe.
Reaction: There is a false sense of security that the seekers are safe from harm because all sharps are locked in the safe.
Denial of Horror – In the Inciting Incident one of the seekers (Svetlana) apparently commits suicide by slicing her wrists with stained glass from a work of art she had created, the other seekers and staff cannot understand why she would kill herself. She had almost completed the program and was preparing to graduate. Also, she was supposed to attend her daughter’s wedding in a few weeks after leaving The Unforgettable Fire (the name of the TCR).
Horror Situation: A seeker (Svetlana) is found after apparently committing suicide.
Reaction: The remaining seekers are all shocked and the staff can’t understand why she would kill herself.
Character Death 1: Svetlana
Why? She is the least likely to die as she just completed the program.
How? Her wrists are sliced open by stained glass.
Safety taken away – The seekers seem to have a false sense of security as one of the strongest among them becomes the sacrificial lamb and apparently takes her own life.
Monster: The nature of the beast. – The killer’s presence will not be revealed until after 2 other apparent suicides: a hanging and a drug overdose. The seekers and staff begin to question the suicides and begin to wonder if maybe they are being murdered and that the suicides are being staged by the killer to cover up his crimes. This is the Act 1 Turning Point or the plot point leading to Act 2.
Horror Situations: There are two more apparent suicides. Dji Dji is found hanging from a sheet in her room, but she has apparently been raped first. Hideki has died of an apparent drug overdose.
Reaction: The seekers and staff are in shock and disbelief and begin to question if the victims committed suicide or were murdered?
Character Death 2: Dji Dji
Why? She is the prettiest and most vulnerable.
How? She is found hanging from a sheet in her room.
Character Death 3: Hideki
Why? He is the one who was most likely to figure out the killer.
How? He dies of an apparent drug overdose but was actually killed.
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
Isolated / Trapped / Abducted – The seekers go on a camping trip to a remote location in the wilderness with 3 guides (2 counselors Michael and Todd, and Jimmy the cook).
One of us killed – One of the seekers disappears and is killed in the woods by a masked killer with a machete. The audience does not know if the killer is a seeker, a guide or a total stranger.
Horror Situation: One of the seekers is murdered by a masked killer wielding a machete in the woods.
Reaction: The audience experiences fear, disgust and dread.
Character Death 4: Jessica
Why? She wandered off in the woods to go to the bathroom.
How? She is murdered by being shredded by a machete.
MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought!
Full pursuit by the killer – the seekers go to sleep in their tents thinking that the fire will die out, however, they are awakened by a raging inferno. The killer has built up a huge bonfire in the middle of the campsite where the fire pit is. The seekers and guides try to extinguish the fire by shoveling dirt and pouring water on it. In the process of getting water from a nearby stream, another seeker disappears and is murdered with an axe by the masked killer. A guide (Jimmy the cook) and a seeker (Bobby) have mysteriously disappeared.
Horror Situation: Another seeker is murdered by a masked killer by being hacked to pieces by an axe.
Reaction: The audience experiences more fear, disgust, and dread.
Character Death 5: Tanivé
Why? She leaves the group to go get water to put out the fire.
How? She is hacked to pieces by an axe.
Terrorized – With 2 seekers and one guide already missing, the remaining seekers and guides begin to search for them and find one of the seeker’s mutilated bodies which has been hacked to pieces by an axe murderer. This is when they realize that they are being hunted and that there is a serial killer stalking them in the darkness.
Horror Situation: They find the mutilated body of one of the seekers that was murdered in the woods.
Reaction: This is when the seekers and guides experience shock, dread, fear and panic.
ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
Fight to the death – The seekers and guides decide to make a run for it and take flight by hiking out of the wilderness in the middle of the night. They leave their tents and most of their gear behind. There is a full moon which helps to illuminate the trail, but they also rely on flashlights and a kerosene lantern to be able to stay on the trail. A seeker (Emily) is suddenly shot in the head by an arrow. The group panics and run blindly away. The masked killer attacks another seeker (Brock) who has fallen behind because of a sprained ankle. They fight to the death in hand-to-hand combat and the seeker is stabbed to death by the masked killer with a hunting knife.
Horror Situations: 1) Emily is shot in the head with an arrow. 2) Brock is attacked by the killer and is stabbed to death.
Reaction: Fear, dread, panic, and hysteria.
Character Death 6: Emily
Why? She is one of the slower ones of the group.
How? She is shot in the head with an arrow.
Character Death 7: Brock
Why? He sprains his ankle and falls behind.
How? He is stabbed to death with a hunting knife.
Hysteria – Hysteria ensues when the group runs off the trail and realize they are now lost in the woods. Another seeker (Christian) is shot in the chest by an arrow as he stops, turns around and looks behind him. The killer is picking them off one by one with a crossbow.
Horror Situation: Lost in the woods, Christian is killed by an arrow.
Reaction: Fear, panic, dread, and hysteria.
Character Death 8: Christian
Why? He stops, turns around and looks behind him.
How? Shot in the chest with an arrow.
The thrilling escape from death – Guided by the North star the remaining seekers and guides head in the direction where they think there is a road. One of the guides (Michael) is killed by an arrow in the back. They find a road and begin following it back to where they think their van is parked. Another seeker (Vincent) is killed by an arrow.
Horror Situations: Michael and Vincent are killed by arrows.
Reaction: Fear, panic, dread, and hysteria.
Character Death 9: Michael
Why? He is in the rear of the group trying to shield the seekers.
How? Shot in the back with an arrow.
Character Death 10:
Why? He is the last one and falls behind.
How? Shot through the neck with an arrow.
Death returns to take one or more – At this point there is only one seeker (Elise) and one guide (Todd) still alive. When they get back to the van the guide is killed by an arrow through the driver’s side window after turning the key in the ignition. With the motor running the hysterical seeker pushes the guide’s body out of the van and begins driving away.
Horror Situation: Another guide is killed when he is shot in the side of the head by an arrow.
Reaction: The only surviving seeker experiences, fear, panic, and hysteria.
Character Death 11: Todd
Why? He is starting the van to get away and save Elise.
How? He is shot in the side of the head with an arrow.
Resolution – As Elise drives away, she sees the masked killer standing in the middle of the road in front of her. He takes one last shot with his crossbow and the arrow smashes the windshield of the van but just barely misses Elise and she’s able to continue driving. She puts the petal to the metal and runs the killer over. She gets out of the van and thinking he’s dead she removes the killer’s mask. This finally reveals his identity: it’s Jimmy! Still alive, he suddenly grabs her by the ankle, and she falls down. They begin wrestling on the ground, but because his legs are broken, she’s able to break free. He slashes her Achille’s heal, but she’s able to limp back to the van. She backs over him then drives away in a veil of tears as the sun is just beginning to rise in the distant horizon.
Horror Situation: Elise hits the killer with the van and thinking he is dead gets out and removes his mask. He is still alive and attacks her. He slashes her, but she is able to get away. When she gets back in the van, she backs over him and drives over him again, then drives away.
Reaction: Elise, the lone survivor, is hysterical, but the audience feels relieved after she gets away and runs over the killer again. Is he dead yet?! No, there must be a sequel!
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Ted Tronsen’s Horror Situations Track
What I learned from doing this assignment is that it’s very important to include enough horror situations in order to keep the plot moving and the audience entertained!
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
Atmosphere of Evil established – As a new seeker (Vincent) is introduced to the philosophy behind the Therapeutic Community Residence where he has just arrived, it begins to feel like some kind of strange spiritual cult. In a Poetry group the theme is “Death.” Then in a Study group they discuss the principles of Psychomagic which is Pagan in origin and based on the ancient practice of witchcraft or “black magic.” Early on the audience will begin to sense an “atmosphere of evil.” Something definitely seems off!
Connect with the characters – The characters have flashbacks of their suicide attempts as they are reading and writing poetry. Some of them share their traumatic life experiences with the group, but others are too traumatized to share.
Horror Situation: While writing poetry on the theme of death a few of the seekers experience flashbacks of their traumatic suicide attempts.
Reaction: Each seeker having a flashback is visibly overcome with emotion.
The characters are warned not to do it – The characters are warned to reach out for help if they are in crisis or having suicidal thoughts. All sharp objects are kept in a safe and only given to the seekers (clients) upon request and under close supervision.
Horror Situation: There are numerous knives that a seeker could use to self-harm, but they are kept in a safe.
Reaction: There is a false sense of security that the seekers are safe from harm because all sharps are locked in the safe.
Denial of Horror – When one of the seekers (Svetlana) apparently commits suicide by slicing her wrists with stained glass from a work of art she had created, the other seekers and staff cannot understand why she would kill herself. She had almost completed the program and was preparing to graduate. Also, she was supposed to attend her daughter’s wedding in a few weeks after leaving The Unforgettable Fire (the name of the Therapeutic Community Residence).
Horror Situation: A seeker (Svetlana) is found after apparently committing suicide.
Reaction: The remaining seekers are all shocked and the staff can’t understand why she would kill herself.
Safety taken away – The seekers seem to have a false sense of security as one of the strongest among them becomes the sacrificial lamb and apparently takes her own life.
Monster: The nature of the beast. – The killer’s presence will not be revealed until after 2 other apparent suicides: a hanging and a drug overdose. The seekers and staff begin to question the suicides and begin to wonder if maybe they are being murdered and that the suicides are being staged by the killer to cover up his crimes.
Horror Situation: There are two more apparent suicides.
Reaction: The seekers and staff are in shock and disbelief and begin to question if the victims committed suicide or were murdered?
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
Isolated / Trapped / Abducted – The seekers go on a camping trip to a remote location in the wilderness with 3 guides (2 counselors Michael and Todd, and Jimmy the cook).
One of us killed – One of the seekers disappears and is killed in the woods by a masked killer with an axe. The audience does not know if the killer is a seeker, a guide or a total stranger.
Horror Situation: One of the seekers is murdered in the woods.
Reaction: The audience experiences fear and dread.
MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought!
Full pursuit by the killer – the seekers go to sleep in their tents thinking that the fire will die out, however, they are awakened by a raging inferno. The killer has built up a huge bonfire in the middle of the campsite where the fire pit is. The seekers and guides try to extinguish the fire by shoveling dirt and pouring water on it. In the process of getting water from a nearby stream, another seeker disappears and is murdered with an axe by the masked killer. A guide (Jimmy the cook) has also mysteriously disappeared.
Horror Situation: Another seeker is murdered.
Reaction: The audience experiences more fear and dread.
Terrorized – With 2 seekers and one guide already missing, the remaining seekers and guides begin to search for them and find one of the seeker’s bodies which has been hacked to pieces by an axe murderer. This is when they realize that they are being hunted and that there is a serial killer stalking them in the darkness.
Horror Situation: They find the mutilated body of one of the seekers that was murdered in the woods.
Reaction: This is when the seekers and guides experience shock, dread, fear and panic.
ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
Fight to the death – The seekers and guides decide to make a run for it and take flight by hiking out of the wilderness in the middle of the night. They leave their tents and most of their gear behind. There is a full moon which helps to illuminate the trail, but they also rely on flashlights and a kerosene lantern to be able to stay on the trail. A seeker is suddenly shot in the head by an arrow. The group panics and run blindly away. The masked killer attacks a male seeker (Brock) who has fallen behind because of a sprained ankle. They fight to the death in hand-to-hand combat and the seeker is stabbed to death by the masked killer with a hunting knife.
Horror Situations: 1) One of the seekers is shot in the head with an arrow. 2) Brock is attacked by the killer and is stabbed to death.
Reaction: Fear, dread, panic, and hysteria.
Hysteria – Hysteria ensues when the group runs off the trail and realize they are now lost in the woods. Another seeker is killed by an arrow shot from somewhere in the darkness as they try to get their bearings. The killer is picking them off one by one with a crossbow.
Horror Situation: Lost in the woods, another seeker is killed by an arrow.
Reaction: Fear, panic, dread, and hysteria.
The thrilling escape from death – Guided by the North star the remaining seekers and guides head in the direction where they think there is a road. One of the guides (Michael) is killed by an arrow in the back. They find a road and begin following it back to where they think their van is parked. Another seeker is killed by an arrow.
Horror Situations: Another seeker and a guide are killed.
Reaction: Fear, panic, dread, and hysteria.
Death returns to take one or more – At this point there is only one seeker (Elise) and one guide (Todd) still alive. When they get back to the van the guide is killed by an arrow through the driver’s side window after turning the key in the ignition. With the motor running the hysterical seeker pushes the guide’s body out of the van and begins driving away.
Horror Situation: Another guide is killed when he is shot in the side of the head by an arrow.
Reaction: The only surviving seeker experiences, fear, panic and hysteria.
Resolution – As Elise drives away, she sees the masked killer standing in the middle of the road in front of her. He takes one last shot with his crossbow and the arrow smashes the windshield of the van but just barely misses Elise and she’s able to continue driving. She puts the petal to the metal and runs the killer over. She gets out of the van and thinking he’s dead she removes the killer’s mask. This finally reveals his identity: it’s Jimmy! Still alive, he suddenly grabs her by the ankle, and she falls down. They begin wrestling on the ground, but because his legs are broken, she’s able to break free. He slashes her Achille’s heal, but she’s able to limp back to the van. She backs over him then drives away in a veil of tears as the sun is just beginning to rise in the distant horizon.
Horror Situation: Elise hits the killer with the van and thinking he is dead gets out to remove his mask. He is still alive and attacks her. He slashes her, but she is able to get away. When she gets back in the van, she backs over him and drives over him again, then drives away.
Reaction: Elise, the lone survivor, is hysterical, but the audience feels relieved after she gets away and runs over the killer again. Is he dead yet?! No, there must be a sequel!
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<div>Ted Tronsen’s Unforgettable Fire Horror Plot</div>
What I learned doing this assignment is that you must put together an outline with plot points in order to make sure the plot of the horror story works before you begin writing the screenplay. I’m not sure how I feel about the effectiveness of my plot as this is the first time I’ve constructed it from beginning to end (prior to this I had only written a rough draft for Act I). I know that I will need to tweak it and make some changes before I write the screenplay. I’m still undecided on who the killer is and whether or not I should reveal his identity? In this outline, it is inferred that Jimmy (the cook) is the killer.
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
Atmosphere of Evil established – As a new seeker (client) is introduced to the philosophy behind the Therapeutic Community Residence where he has just arrived, it begins to feel like an esoteric strange spiritual cult. In a Poetry group the theme is “Death,” and then in a Study group when they are discussing the principles of Psychomagic, the audience will begin to sense an “atmosphere of evil.”
Connect with the characters – The characters have flashbacks of their suicide attempts as they are reading and writing poetry. Some of them share their traumatic life experiences with the group, but others are too traumatized to share.
The characters are warned not to do it – The characters are warned to reach out for help if they are in crisis or having suicidal thoughts. All sharp objects are kept in a safe and only given to the seekers (clients) upon request and under close supervision.
Denial of Horror – When one of the seekers (Svetlana) apparently commits suicide by slicing her wrists with stained glass from a work of art she had created, the other seekers and staff cannot believe why she would kill herself. She had almost completed the program and was preparing to graduate. Also, she was supposed to attend her daughter’s wedding in a few weeks after leaving The Unforgettable Fire (the name of the Therapeutic Community Residence).
Safety taken away – the seekers seem to have a false sense of security as one of the strongest among them becomes the sacrificial lamb and apparently takes her own life.
Monster: The nature of the beast. – The killer’s presence will not be revealed until after 2 other apparent suicides: a hanging and a drug overdose. The seekers and staff begin to question the suicides and begin to wonder if maybe they are being murdered and that the suicides are being staged by the killer to cover up his crime.
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
Isolated / Trapped / Abducted – The seekers go on a camping trip to a remote location in the wilderness with 3 guides (counselors).
One of us killed – One of the seekers disappears and is killed in the woods by a masked killer. The audience does not know if the killer is a seeker, a guide or a total stranger.
MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought!
Full pursuit by the killer – the seekers go to sleep in their tents thinking that the fire will die out, however, they are awakened by a raging inferno. The killer has built up a huge bonfire in the middle of the campsite where the fire pit is. The seekers and guides try to extinguish the fire by shoveling dirt and pouring water on it. In the process of getting water from a nearby stream, another seeker disappears and is murdered by the masked killer. A guide (Jimmy the cook) has also mysteriously disappeared.
Terrorized – With 2 seekers and one guide already missing, the remaining seekers and guides begin to search for them and find one of the seeker’s bodies which has been hacked to pieces by an axe murderer. This is when they realize that they are being hunted and that there is a serial killer stalking them in the darkness.
ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
Fight to the death – The seekers and guides decide to make a run for it and take flight by hiking out of the wilderness in the middle of the night. They leave their tents and most of their gear behind. There is a full moon which helps to illuminate the trail, but they also rely on flashlights and a kerosene lantern. A seeker is shot in the head by an arrow. The group panics and run blindly away. The masked killer attacks a male seeker (Brock) who has fallen behind because of a sprained ankle. They fight to the death in hand-to-hand combat and the seeker is stabbed to death by the masked killer with a hunting knife.
Hysteria – Hysteria ensues when the group runs off the trail and realize they are now lost in the woods. Another seeker is killed by an arrow shot from somewhere in the darkness as they try to get their bearings. The killer is picking them off one by one.
The thrilling escape from death – Guided by the North star the remaining seekers and guides head in the direction where they think there is a road. One of the guides (Michael) is killed by an arrow in the back. They find a road and begin following it back to where they think their van is parked. Another seeker is killed by an arrow.
Death returns to take one or more – At this point there is only one seeker and one guide (Todd) still alive. When they get back to the van the guide is killed by an arrow after turning the key in the ignition. With the motor running the hysterical seeker pushes the guide’s body out of the van and begins driving.
Resolution – As the seeker (Elise) drives away, she sees the masked killer standing in the middle of the road behind her in the rear-view mirror. He takes one last shot with his crossbow and the arrow smashes the rear window of the van, but she is able to continue driving away through a veil of tears. The sun is just beginning to rise in the distant horizon.
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Ted Tronsen’s Unforgettable Fire Characters for Horror
What I learned doing this assignment is that it’s important to include a wide range of characters in order to appeal to the largest audience. Each character has their own arc and storyline. Also, each character has their own journey, meets their own fate and will die a unique death.
1. Tell us your Concept and the Group you have chosen.
The concept for the Unforgettable Fire is based on a series of suicides/murders at a Therapeutic Community Residence in a remote area of Oregon. The group I have chosen are all people recovering from trauma, failed suicide attempts and/or addiction, and the facility they are in is like a Rehab that treats people without the use of psychiatric medication. They could be considered “outsiders” who do not fit into the norms of society.
2. Tell us the Dying Pattern of this movie.
At first it appears as if the characters are committing suicide, however, it becomes apparent after the 3rd or 4th fatality that the seekers (clients) are being murdered. There’s a total of 8 seekers and 7 of them are murdered by the end.
3. Give us an Identity and a sentence for each character that makes up your group.
Vincent – The new seeker who is a frustrated artist recovering from a suicide attempt. He is the moral one and rescuer who is most concerned about doing what is right in order to protect his fellow seekers.
Svetlana – The oldest seeker who becomes the sacrificial lamb and is the first to die. After a manic episode she is found dead in her room of an apparent suicide (her wrists are cut with stained glass).
Brock – He is the leader of the group and tries to keep everything in order as everyone else seems to come undone. As more seekers die, he tries to keep the group together and keep them alive.
Hideki – He is the introvert/loner who sticks to himself. He is autistic and has trouble communicating with others. He is able to see auras and energy fields and is extremely sensitive.
Dji Dji – She is the love interest as she is very beautiful and exotic looking. She is very provocative and is always flirting and teasing her fellow seekers and the guides (counselors).
Christian – He is the rebel/rule breaker and also the complainer. He can also be out of control and obnoxious. Contrary to his name he is more like an anti-Christ.
Elise – She is the innocent one who is also highly intelligent and well educated. She comes from a wealthy family and is married to a multi-millionaire.
Emily – She is the monster bait who is a party girl. She is an extrovert who attracts the most attention and is the most vulnerable of the group.
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The Unforgettable Fire’s Terrifying Monster: The Killer
What I learned doing this assignment is that creating the monster/killer in a horror screenplay is not as simple as coming up with just a scary looking monster or horrific idea for a killer, but there are many layers that must be created to add depth to that character. The element of not knowing who the killer is until the end adds suspense, terror and mystery to the script. Their mythology is important as it adds a reason, and a rationalization in the killer’s mind, to the senseless killing of innocent people.
1. Tell us what or who your monster is.
The monster in my script is a cold-blooded psychotic serial killer. It is a mystery who it is until the end, and the audience is left guessing: Is it a seeker (client), a guide (a counselor), or a total stranger?
2. Give us a few sentences for each of the following for your monster:
Their Terror: The terror is created gradually as at first the victims appear to have committed suicide, however, as it becomes apparent that they are being murdered one by one, nobody knows who the killer is.<div>
Their Mystery: The mystery is in not knowing who the killer is until the end. The victims are killed at random and at first appear to be taking their own lives. Once it becomes apparent that they are being murdered, the question is: Who is killing them?
Their Fear-Provoking Appearance: The killer will be dressed up and wearing a mask each time he kills to hide his appearance.
Their Rules: The killer’s rules are that he has no rules aside from wanting to put people out of their misery and take their lives.
Their Mythology: The mythology of the killer is that his brother committed suicide at a young age and he has come to accept suicide as the final solution to all of life’s problems. Working in a Therapeutic Community Residence with suicide survivors, he sees the seekers (clients) as failures and wants to help them to complete their failed task, by helping them to commit suicide (killing them).
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<div>What I learned doing this assignment is how to create a marketable concept by creating a unique and believable story. It’s good to watch as many horror movies as possible in order to craft an original plot and to learn how to create tension.
</div>Title: The Cursed
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Concept: Beware the beast within! A gypsy curse unleashes a werewolf upon a manor and village in the French countryside.
Terrorize The Characters: Anyone who is bitten by the werewolf becomes a werewolf and seeks revenge upon a landowner for killing a group of gypsies and stealing their land. The curse will not end until all of those responsible are killed.
Isolation: Cognac, a village in the French countryside.
<font face=”inherit”>Death: There are numerous </font>deaths,<font face=”inherit”> and all are killed by the werewolf.</font>
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Monster/Villain: Werewolf
High Tension: The tension is based on nuance and silence. The people are terrorized by a werewolf which creates the tension throughout the film.
Departure from Reality: The werewolf looks like an alien and is very different from the traditional conception of a werewolf.
Moral Statement: “You will reap what you sow.” If you steal land from gypsies, then they will put a curse on you to exact revenge.
3. What made this movie a great horror film is the style and production as it was set in the French countryside in the late 19th century. The writer and director Sean Ellis was also the cinematographer and filmed the movie in a historically accurate way to portray that period in France. The werewolf looked like an alien and was different from any other depiction I’ve ever seen of a werewolf. It was very well done, and I highly recommend it!
4. With your concept, fill in each of these Conventions for your story.
<div>Title: The Unforgettable Fire</div>
Concept: A recovery center in a remote part of Oregon is plagued by a rash of suicides, however, it becomes apparent that the victims are not killing themselves but are being murdered by a serial killer (who makes it appear as if his victims have committed suicide).
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Terrorize The Characters: As more people apparently commit suicide (are murdered), the survivors are left to their own devices to survive.
Isolation: A remote part of central Oregon.
Death: The cause of death varies from victim to victim. Hanging, swallowing razor blades, slitting wrists, etc… to make it appear to be by suicide.
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Monster/Villain: A deranged and psychotic serial killer.
High Tension: The tension is created by the isolation in the Oregon wilderness and the sudden rash of suicides (murders).
Departure from Reality: The departure from reality is that this rehab would be shut down if the authorities (State/Police) would be notified. The deaths happen in quick succession to make it seem more plausible.
<font face=”inherit”>Moral Statement: “Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it.” Suicide survivors face death at the hands of a </font>cold-blooded<font face=”inherit”> psychotic killer.</font>
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William “Ted” Tronsen
I agree to the terms of this release form.
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
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Hi everyone,
My name is Ted Tronsen and I’m 52 years young. I’ve written 2 screenplays so far and am working on my 3rd. What I hope to get out of this class is the knowledge to complete the horror script I’m working on now. I am currently living in Vermont on Misty Mountain Farm and working at a Therapeutic Community Residence called Inner Fire. I look forward to getting to know everyone and writing with you!
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I am trying to critique Jeremy “Jerry” Cooke’s Horror Screenplay but am unable to get into it to comment on it. I would like to send him a message to let him know that I will critique it as soon as I can access it. Could you please let him know? Thank you!
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A thunderstorm definitely adds to the suspense! Maybe I should add a storm also to ratchet up the tension towards the end of ACT II or in the beginning of ACT III?
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Thank you Anna!
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Jessica’s body is never found. Bobby is never seen again and disappeared at the same time Jimmy did. The reason for them mysteriously disappearing is to keep the audience guessing who the killer is. It is revealed in the final scenes of ACT III that Jimmy is the masked killer.
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I really enjoyed reading your work Anna and think this scene really captures everything we have learned in this class! I’m looking forward to reading your outline in the final lesson.