Yvonne Arnett
Forum Replies Created
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LESSON 14 – YVONNE
ARC: FROM: being forced together TO: making a total mess of the situation.
LOGLINE: Two Realtors, Nancy and Squire, must spend an entire night in a gothic
(haunted) mansion in order to get an exclusive listing with the owner, an eccentric old
woman. The one still there in the morning gets the listing.
ESSENCE: Winner takes all, or so we thought.SCENE: Realtors, Nancy and Squire, arrive in two separate cars and park on the circle
drive in front of a large gothic mansion. Squire, taking long strides, reaches the large
front door first and rings the doorbell. Nancy, trailing behind, is having trouble navigating
the gravel driveway in her three inch heels. When she reaches him she pushes him
aside.
Nancy:
What are you doing here, Squire?
Squire: (smug)
Mss Worthington called me.
Nancy:
Oh no you don’t, you’re not worming your way into my deal, Squire.
Squire:
It might surprise you, Nancy, to know that I have a listing appointment with Miss
Worthington at six.
Nancy:
No. . . Wrong, my appointment is with her at six! You are obviously mistaken about the
time.
He examines her face.
Squire:
I can tell you’re lying. You called her, didn’t you?
She avoids eye contact.
Nancy:
All’s fair in war and whatever. Right?
She looks up at the home’s three stories and shutters.
Nancy:
Wow! What a creepy place. And so isolated.
Squire lowers his voice.
Squire:
I’ve heard the old Worthington mansion is haunted. The original owner was murdered
here around the turn of the century. You can leave now if you’re scared, Nancy.
He watches for her reaction and is disappointed.
Nancy:
In your dreams, buster. I don’t frighten that easily.
She scans the property with a critical eye.
Nancy:
Hmm, the outside needs a lot of updating.
Squire:
Looks like a tear down to me, but this much forrest covered acreage is probably worth a
few mill.
Nancy:
Not a problem for me. I have a good handyman and stager I can call.
Squire:
Ha! This will require more than lipstick.
Finally the massive front door opens silently to reveal a sour looking Butler who ushers
them into the main hall.
Butler:
Madame is not here but she said to let you both roam about and get a feel for the place.
She expects you both to spend the night in her home. Your bedrooms are located at the
top of the stairs.
Nancy and Squire give each other puzzled looks.
Nancy
What! Good God, nobody mentioned that!
Squire winks at Nancy in a playful gesture.
Squire
Well, this should be fun!
She gives him a dirty look.
Butler:
Just so it’s clear. You must remain here all night. The listing will go only to the agent
that is still here in the morning.
Before they can ask any more questions, he exits the room and they are left on their
own.
Nancy looks around and cringes.
Nancy:
Damn. I’m not prepared to spend the night here.
Squire:
I’ve got this. Why don’t you toddle on home.
Nancy:
You’d like that wouldn’t you?
Squire walks around the main hall peeking into the adjoining rooms while Nancy
watches him.
Squire:
Holy shit! The antiques in this place must be worth a fortune.
Nancy:
Quit drooling. You haven’t got the listing yet.
Squire:
It’s as good as done. I think I’ll check out the bed in the bedroom. (big smile) Want to
join me?
Nancy:
Cool your jets. I have other things on my mind besides cavorting with you.
She tilts her head as if weighing her options.
Nancy:
I’m fair, how about, If we’re both still here in the morning, we share the listing?
Squire:
I’ll think about it. Miss Worthington is my client, besides ghosts don’t scare me. . .how
about you?LATER:
Squire and Nancy are exploring the main rooms downstairs. They hear what sounds
like a piece of furniture falling over. Nancy jumps. Squire looks around nervously and
laughs.
Squire:
These old houses make settling noises.
Nancy:
Yeah, well I’m through exploring. I think I’ll go to bed.
Squire:
The house getting to you? The offer is still open. You can bunk in with me.
She flips him the finger and heads for the stairs. Just then the lights flicker and go off
and they are left in the dark. Nancy bumps into a table.
Nancy:
Ouch!
He jumps when something brushes his arm.
Squire:
Cut it out Nancy.
Nancy:
What are you talking about?
They both turn their cell phone lights on only to reveal they are each on opposite sides
of the room. A moaning sound emanates from upstairs.
Nancy:
On second thought I think I’ll stay down here.
She quickly moves towards him.
Squire:
I think we should light a couple of candles on the sideboard. I don’t want to run my
battery down.
He lights two candles and hands her one before they both enter the library.LIBRARY
It is packed with eerie looking stuffed animals, books and miscellaneous stuff.
She holds her candle up to a large painting of a strange looking woman in white.
Nancy:
I wonder if she’s the owner?
He peeks over her shoulder.
Squire:
Nah, it was painted in 1897. The dates right there on the bottom.
Nancy:
Well, she gives me the creeps.
She moves around the room and stops and looks back at the painting.
Nancy:
Squire! Look, I think her eyes are following us.
Squire:
It’s just a painting. You’re not going to scare me.
She stops and inspects a large stuffed Tiger. Squire sneaks up behind her.
Squire:
Boo!
She jumps, then slaps him.
Nancy:
That’s not going to work. I’ll still be here in the morning.
The candle reflecting off Squire’s face reveals a wickedly charming smile.
Squire:
We’ll see. Meanwhile, how about a drink. I spotted some liquor in the dinning room.DINING ROOM
The sideboard is well stocked with bottles of booze and tumblers. Squire selects a
bottle, pours them each a generous amount, then hands one to Nancy. He raises his
glass.
Squire:
Here’s to tomorrow. May the best man win! Which of course is me.
Nancy takes a big gulp and coughs.
Nancy:
You’re not short on ego are you? I hate to dash your hopes, but the best woman will
win.
She downs another shot and softens.
Nancy:
You know, you’re not so bad. Like I said, if you mind your manners, I’ll share the listing
with you.
Squire:
That’s big of you since it was my contact to begin with.
They both jump when they hear the door to the Library open and slam shut. They watch
in terror as a misty figure in white floats down the hall past the dinning room and
disappears.
Squire:
She came from the Library. There’s got to be a reasonable explanation. Let’s check it
out.
Nancy:
Maybe we should leave.
Squire heads for the Library and Nancy reluctantly follows.LIBRARY
Squire raises the lite candle to illuminate the room. They spot the Butler laying on the
floor with a large knife sticking out of his back.
Nancy and Squire knock into each other trying to exit the Library. They run full tilt down
the hall to reach the front door and exit. Their cars can be heard roaring down the
driveway.FRONT DOOR OF MANSION
Miss Worthington, dressed in a white gown, and her brother, dressed as a Butler, stand
in the doorway laughing.
Miss Worthington:
This is so much fun! Let’s do it again next week, only we won’t let the next Realtors get
away so fast.-
This reply was modified 10 months, 2 weeks ago by Yvonne Arnett.
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This reply was modified 10 months, 2 weeks ago by
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LESSON 14 – YVONNE
ARC: FROM: being forced together TO: making a total mess of the situation.
LOGLINE: Two Realtors, Nancy and Squire, must spend an entire night in a gothic
mansion in order to get an exclusive listing with the owner, an eccentric old woman. The
one still there in the morning gets the listing.
ESSENCE: Winner takes all, or so we thought.
SCENE: Nancy and Squire arrive in two separate cars and park on the circle drive in
front of a large gothic mansion. Squire arrives at the large front door first and rings the
doorbell with Nancy trailing behind.
Nancy: What are you doing here, Squire? I’ve got a listing appointment with Miss
Worthington at ten.
Squire: It might surprise you to know that I also have an appointment at the same time.
Nancy: There must be some mistake. We’ll soon get this cleared up with Miss
Worthington.
She looks up at the home’s three stories and shutters.
Nancy: Wow! What a creepy place. And so isolated.
Squire: I’ve heard the old Worthington mansion is haunted. The original owner was
murdered here around the turn of the century.
He watches her reaction.
You can leave now if you’re scared, Nancy.
Nancy: In your dreams, buster. I don’t frighten that easily.
She scans the property with a critical eye.
Nancy: The outside needs a lot of updating.
Squire: Looks like a tear down to me, but this much acreage is worth a few mill.
Nancy: Not a problem for me. I have a good handyman and stager I can call.
Squire: Always the optimist.
Finally the massive front door opens silently to reveal a sour looking man servant who
ushers them into the main hall.
Servant: Madame is not here but she said to let you both roam about and get a feel for
the place. She expects you both to spend the night in her home. Your bedrooms are
located at the top of the stairs. The listing will go to whomever is still here in the
morning.
He exits the room and they are left on their own. Nancy cringes
Nancy: Damn. I’m not prepared to spend the night.
Squire walks around the main hall peeking into the adjoining rooms while Nancy
watches him.
Squire: Holy shit! The antiques in this place must be worth a fortune.
Nancy: Quit drooling. You haven’t got the listing yet.
Squire: It’s as good as done. I’ll be checking out the bedroom. (big smile) Want to join
me?
Nancy: Cool your jets. I have other things on my mind besides cavorting with you.
He tilts his head as if weighing his options.
Squire: How about a wager? If you’re still here in the morning, we share the listing. If
not, I take it and If I’m not here, it’s yours.
Nancy: No way Jose, I’m not sharing! Ghosts don’t scare me. What about you?
LATER:
Squire and Nancy are exploring the main rooms down stairs. Nancy stays close to
Squire. They hear what sounds like a piece of furniture falling over. Nancy jumps.
Squire nervously looks around.
Squire: These old houses make settling noises.
Nancy: Yeah, well I’m through exploring. I think I’ll go to bed.
Squire: The house getting to you? The offer is still open. You can bunk in with me.
She flips him the finger and heads for the stairs. Just then the lights flicker and go off.
They are left in the dark. Squire bumps into a table.
Squire: Ouch!
She jumps when something brushes her leg.
Nancy: Cut it out Squire.
Squire: What are you talking about?
They both turn their cell phone lights on only to reveal Squire on the opposite side of the
room. She quickly moves towards him. A moaning sound emanates from upstairs.
Nancy: On second thought I think I’ll stay down here.
Squire: I think we should light a couple of candles on the sideboard. I don’t want to run
my battery down.
He lights two candles and hands her one before they both enter the library. It is packed
with eerie looking stuffed animals, books and miscellaneous stuff.
She holds her candle up to a large painting of a strange looking woman in white.
Nancy: I wonder if she’s the owner?
He peeks over her shoulder.
Squire: Nah, it was painted in 1897. The dates right there on the bottom.
Nancy: Well, she gives me the creeps.
She moves around the room and stops in front of a large stuffed Tiger. Squire sneaks
up behind her.
Squire: Boo!
She jumps, then slaps him.
Nancy: That’s not going to work. I’ll still be here in the morning.
The candle reflecting off Squire’s face reveals a wickedly charming smile.
Squire: We’ll see. Meanwhile, how about a drink. I spotted some liquor in the dinning
room.
DINING ROOM
The sideboard is well stocked with bottles of booze and tumblers. Squire selects a
bottle, pours them each a generous amount, then hands one to Nancy. He raises his
glass.
Squire: Here’s to tomorrow. May the best man win! Which of course is me.
Nancy takes a big gulp and coughs.
Nancy: You’re not short on ego are you? I hate to dash your hopes, but the best woman
will win.
They both jump when they hear the door to the Library open and slam shut. They watch
in terror as a misty figure in white floats down the hall past the dinning room and
disappears.
Nancy and Squire knock into each other trying to enter the hall. They run full tilt to
reach the front door and exit. Their cars can be heard roaring down the driveway.
An elderly woman in white stands in the doorway laughing. -
Yvonne – Max Interest 2
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is that applying these nine new interest
techniques requires a lot of thought when working on changing an existing script. But it
will be worth the effort. I think I will need to work on many scenes to get it where it
becomes second nature to me.
ESSENCE: Rick realizes it’s his client that needs to be investigated.
LOGLINE: Private Investigator Rick gives a client, Mr. North, information to close a case
but instead it opens up more questions.
Rick is seated behind his desk with an open file spread across the top. Mr. North is
seated across from him. His expression is unreadable.
NORTH
Have you located him? My clients are very anxious to find Alan Tanner.
RICK
I'm afraid it's not good news, Mr. North. He died in a garage fire years ago.
NORTH
Are you sure?
RICK
I have the official report here.
He pushes a file across the desk to North.
North picks it up and scans through it rapidly. He drops it back on the desk and pushes
it back to Rick.
NORTH
This has to be a mistake.
RICK
No. Sorry, I wasn't able to trace Alan any further than the fire.
NORTH
I’m sure he’s alive. Maybe he’s using an alias?
RICK (impatient)
As far as I'm concerned, he died in the fire.
NORTH
(angry)
Try putting more effort into it. My law firm is paying you well enough.
RICK (pissed)
I’m done. If you want to pursue it further, then I suggest you use another agency.
NORTH (teeth clinched)
I’ll find him if it’s the last thing I do.
He stands up abruptly, knocking his chair over before striding out of the office, slamming
the office door behind him.
Puzzled, Rick turns to his computer and types in some information.
COMPUTER SCREEN: There is no Patterson and Rhodes law firm or a Richard North.
His address and phone number do not exist.-
This reply was modified 11 months, 1 week ago by Yvonne Arnett.
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This reply was modified 11 months, 1 week ago by
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Yvonne – Challenging Situations
What I’ve learned is that this class gave me my biggest “aha”
moment and the hardest challenge, because I’m still struggling
with protecting my characters.SCENE 1:
CURRENT SCENE LOGLINE: Marilyn, who suffers from low self esteem,
has had several major setbacks recently in her life and shares a
story about non listeners and suicide with her reading group.ESSENCE: Contemplating suicide, Marilyn secretly hopes her
friends will rescue her from herself.LIST OF POSSIBLE CHALLENGES:
GOAL: Use her story to bring attention to her problem.
-Her six friends spend more time sniping at each other
than paying attention.NEEDS: To garner empathy from her friends.
– Takes the blame for her husband’s behavior so
doesn’t get it.VALUES: The opinions of her shallow friends.
– The story reveals her friends shallowness and they take offense.WOUND: Her friends oblivious reactions to her story.
-They ignore her situation.PHYSICAL: Something happens during the reading.
– Marilyn drinks to much and reveals secrets about her friendsQUICK SUMMARY:
Marilyn’s attempt at sharing her problems through a story is not
successful in the way she hoped. After an evening of drinking and
sniping at each other they all cheerfully leave Marilyn to her destiny.SCENE 2:
CURRENT SCENE LOGLINE: Reporter Kelly has manipulated a ride with
Detective Rick after a meeting with two suspects, O’Neil and Angela, and
they discuss the case.ESSENCE: Kelly seeks information about Rick’s interest in
Angela as she is jealous of her.LIST OF POSSIBLE CHALLENGES:
GOAL: Kelly wants to blow up Rick’s interest in Angela.
– Kelly shares negative information she has learned about Angela,
but it backfires on her.NEEDS: Kelly wants to be back in Rick’s life.
– She makes a play for Rick, but he rejects her advances.VALUES: Saving Face
Kelly is humiliated and will retaliate later.QUICK SUMMARY:
Reporter Kelly makes a pass at Rick hoping to revive their old romance, but is rejected.
She is humiliated and reacts by revealing negative information she has picked up about
Angela. This scene created friction between the two that continues through future
scenes.-
This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by Yvonne Arnett.
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This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by
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Yvonne’s – Full-Out Characters
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is that
my two main characters lacked substance. Listing character
traits and trying to get out of my comfort zone is helping me.CURRENT PROFILE- NICK
DESCRIPTION: Nick is a good cop that retires and
becomes a private detective because he lost his wife
during a robbery.TRAITS: Giving and strong.
SUBTEXT: Nick wants the life he had back.REVISED PROFILE
DESCRIPTION: Nick is angry with himself and
the world because he survived, but lost his wife
during a gun store robbery. He becomes a Private
Detective to avoid the pain of his past, but is faced
with it when he meets Angela and is pulled into
solving the murder of a friend.TRAITS: Angry, cynical, focused, and giving.
SUBTEXT: Nick is stuck because he wants what
he had, but comes to realize that you can’t go back.CURRENT PROFILE – ANGELA
DESCRIPTION: Angela uses Rick in the beginning
to find out if she is a target of a series of murders.
TRAITS: Charming and loving
SUBTEXT: Angela falls for Rick, but is hiding a secret.REVISED PROFILE
DESCRIPTION: Angela has re-invented herself to
hide a past murder. She must keep her true identity
hidden, because it is directly connected to the current
murders Rick is working on.
TRAITS: Charming, Generous, manipulative, and secretive.
SUBTEXT: Angela falls for Rick which changes
everything.CURRENT PROFILE – LOUIS
DESCRIPTION: Detective Louis and Rick were
partners previously and Louis gets Rick to come
back as a consultant to assist with a fraud case.
TRAITS: Loyal and trustworthy
SUBTEXT: Louis is a supportive friend.REVISED PROFILE
DESCRIPTION: Detective Louis is a loyal friend and
is worried about Rick and brings him back as a consultant to
assist in a fraud turned murder investigation.
TRAITS: Sincere, loyal, giving, and a stickler for rules
SUBTEXT: Louis is a supportive friend who is always there for Rick.-
This reply was modified 11 months, 3 weeks ago by Yvonne Arnett.
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This reply was modified 11 months, 3 weeks ago by
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YVONNE ARNETT – Rewrite
LOGLINE: Two Homicide Detectives are investigating
the death of a woman that one of them has murdered.
ESSENCE: Nick’s envy of John culminates in a betrayal
between friends.
INT: CRIME SCENE IN AN UPSCALE LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Homicide Detective, John, is standing over the body of Monica Taylor,
an officer in their department, laying in a pool of blood in front of a sofa.
The room is a mess with broken end tables, lamps and crockery strewn
about. The sofa and walls are splattered with blood. There is a trail of
blood leading from the bedroom. Homicide Detective, Nick, walks into
the scene and is shocked.
NICK
Wow! It’s Monica. What a mess!
Nick Scans the room.
NICK
This is where she bled out. Looks like the initial attack
started in a backroom and moved to here.
She took quite a beating.
Nick turns and notices that John hasn’t moved. In fact
he looks sick.
NICK
Hey buddy, You don’t look so good.
JOHN
Why Monica? God, who would do this?
NICK
She was a good officer. A little loose, but who’s judging.
JOHN
What do you mean by that crack?
NICK
Nothing, just telling you what everyone was saying.
JOHN (angrily)
Who. . . you?
NICK (shrugs)
Don’t kill the messenger.
John gives Nick a questioning look.
JOHN
I thought you asked her out once.
NICK
Yes, that’s old history. You see anything
that looks like a weapon?
Nick walks around the room and spots a metal
sculpture laying behind the sofa. A dark stain
is visible on one dented edge.
NICK
Nasty weapon. We’ll have the Forensic team
bag it when they arrive.
JOHN
You check out the kitchen and I’ll have a look at the
bedroom and see if her assailant left anything behind.
John walks around the blood trail into the bedroom.
The walls, ceiling and bed are polka dotted with blood.
He leans against the door to compose himself and takes
two deep breaths before continuing. He opens the night
stand and sees a cell phone. He picks it up.
NICK (Nick hollers from the living room)
Look what I found!
John enters the living room with the phone.
Nick holds up an intimate photo of John and Monica.
NICK
You care to explain?
John tries to reach for it, but Nick is too quick
and steps back. He places the photo in a
clear plastic bag.
JOHN
Where did you find that, Nick?
Nick points to a side table. John swallows hard.
NICK
In a drawer over there. I guess Monica
was more than a friend.
JOHN
Yeah, I loved her.
NICK
Sorry John, you never mentioned to me
that you and Monica were an item. I thought
we were friends.
JOHN
It was none of your business.
NICK
I know you’re used to getting what you want,
so this will be hard for you. But, I don’t think it’s a
good idea for you to be here tromping all over
the crime scene.
JOHN
What? You think I did this?
Nick places his hand on John’s shoulder.
NICK
John, I’m here for you. We’ve worked together
for ten years and I consider you a good friend.
Just tell me what happened.
JOHN
That’s what I’m trying to say. Nothing happened.
I – I don’t understand.
NICK
It’s not looking good for you.
JOHN
No – no! For God’s sake Nick, someone
beat her to death. I didn’t do that. I couldn’t.
NICK
You were here last night, right?
JOHN
Yes, we had a glass of wine and talked.
That’s all. How did you know?
NICK
Did you have a fight? Maybe it got out of hand
and you hit her too hard.
John sits down on a chair and places
his head in his hands. He is clearly
distraught.
JOHN
No – no. I didn’t.
NICK
It will be easier if you just confess.
I’ll help you find a good lawyer.
JOHN
Wait. I have to think. It must have
happened after I left last night. That
was about eleven, so she was killed after that.
NICK
But, it’s YOUR finger prints and DNA that
will be all over the place.
JOHN
Not necessarily. The killer had to leave
something behind. We just have to find it.
NICK
The rest of our Forensic team will be here soon,
so you need to get your story straight. I believe
you because you’re my friend. But they may not.
JOHN
Wait a minute! I’ve got her cell phone. Her last calls
may help us.
NICK (demands)
That’s not a good idea. Give it to me John.
John opens the cell phone he is holding and taps
the last call she received.
JOHN
She said someone was following her. Harassing her.
We agued about it. I thought she was over reacting.
She also said. . .
NICK
I said, give it to me John.
A cell phone begins to ring in Nick’s pocket. John slowly
turns his head towards Nick, who is holding a gun.
They look at each other.
JOHN
. . .she said it was someone I knew and trusted.
NICK
I had too, don’t you see, John? She rejected me for you.
She was a whoring bitch. I’m better than you. No one
rejects me.
John raises slowly out of his chair.
JOHN
You son of a bitch. I’ll kill you!
John lounges at Nick and is shot.
The Forensic team enters the room with
cameras and equipment.
NICK
It’s John. He just confessed to killing Monica.
I had to shoot him as he attacked me.
Nick puts the gun away and smiles. Except John
Isn’t dead, only injured. He raises up into a sitting
position and extends his hand with the cell
Phone towards the Forensic Team.
JOHN
Here is Monica’s cell phone. Check her calls
and texts. Nick killed her. -
YVONNE ARNETT
LOGLINE: Two Homicide Detectives are investigating the death of a woman only to
discover that one of them is guilty of the crime.
ESSENCE: The ultimate betrayal of a friend.INT: CRIME SCENE IN AN UPSCALE LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Homicide Detectives, John and Nick, are dressed in white homicide coveralls. They are
standing over the body of a young woman laying in a pool of blood on a white throw rug
in front of a sofa. An end table is turned over and a lamp is laying on the floor. The sofa
and walls are showing signs of blood splatter. There is a trail of blood leading from the
bedroom. It’s a messy scene. They are waiting for a Forensic team and Coroner to
arrive. John, puzzled by the scene, looks about in disbelief.
NICK
“This is where she bled out. Looks like the initial attack started in a backroom and
moved to here. She took quite a beating.”
Nick turns and notices that John hasn’t moved. In fact he looks sick.
NICK
“Hey buddy, You don’t look so good.”
JOHN
“Ahh, I’m fine.“
Nick scans the room.
NICK
“You see anything that looks like a weapon?”
Nick walks to the other side of the room and spots something sticking out from beneath
a window curtain. He pulls the curtain aside to expose a metal sculpture. A dark stain
is visible on one dented edge.
NICK
“This is a nasty weapon, John. I’ll have the Forensic team bag it when they arrive.”
JOHN
“You check out the kitchen and I’ll have a look at the bedroom and see if her assailant
left anything behind.”
John walks around the blood trail into the bedroom. The walls, ceiling and bed are
polka dotted with blood. He leans against the door to compose himself and takes two
deep breaths before continuing. He opens the night stand and sees a cell phone. He
removes it and scans through the it. Nick hollers from the living room.
NICK
“Look what I found!”
John enters the living room with the phone. Nick holds up a photo of John and the
murdered woman.
NICK
“You care to explain?”
John tries to reach for it, but Nick is too quick and steps back. He places the photo in a
clear plastic bag.
JOHN
“Where did you find that?”
NICK
In a drawer over there.
He points to a side table. John swallows hard.
JOHN
“Yeah, I knew her. . . we were friends. So what? I know lots of people.”
NICK
“You shouldn’t be here tromping all over the crime scene.”
JOHN
What? You think I did this?”
Nick places his hand on John’s shoulder.
NICK
“John, I’m here for you. We’ve worked together for ten years and I consider you a good
friend. Just tell me what happened.”
JOHN
“That’s what I’m trying to say. Nothing happened. I – I don’t understand.”
NICK
“It’s not looking good for you.”
JOHN
“No – no! For God’s sake Nick, someone beat her to death. I didn’t do that. I couldn’t.”
NICK
“When were you here?”
JOHN
Last night. We had a glass of wine and talked. That’s all.”
NICK
“Did you have a fight? Maybe it got out of hand and you hit her too hard.”
John is sitting down on in a chair with his head in his hands
JOHN
“No, no. I didn’t.”
NICK
“It will be easier if you just confess. I’ll help you find a good lawyer.”
JOHN
“Wait. I have to think. It must have happened after I left last night. That was about
eleven, so she was killed after that.”
NICK
“But, it’s your finger prints and DNA that will be all over the place.”
JOHN
“Not necessarily. The killer had to leave something behind. We just have to find it.”
NICK
“The rest of our Forensic team will be here soon, so you need to work on your story. I
only believe you because you’re my friend.”
JOHN
“Wait a minute!”
John opens the cell phone he is holding and notices lots of call from one phone number.
Curious, he taps the number. It begins to ring.
JOHN
“She said someone was following her. Harassing her. We agued about it. I thought she
was over reacting. She also said. . .”
Nick reaches into a side pocket to retrieve his phone. John slowly turns his head
towards Nick who is fumbling with his phone. They look at each other.
JOHN
“. . .she said it was someone I knew and trusted.”
NICK
“I had too, don’t you see? You took the one woman I loved from me. If I couldn’t have
her. . . you couldn’t.”
John leaps out of his chair and lounges for Nick’
JOHN
“You son-of-a bitch. I’ll kill you!”
The Forensic team enters the room with cameras and equipment. -
Yvonne’s feedback for Blair.
Character Traits:
Trent’s setting displays wealth in the first scene.
Robert’s outfit is gregarious.
Robert shows he is secretive through his dialogue.
Trent displays his aggressive and conspiring nature through his pretense of wealth
which he uses to defraud Mary of her money.
Mislead – Robert is seen as Trent’s accomplice.
Suspense – Begins with Trent’s opening line to Robert about Mary that establishes an
undercurrent of secrecy.
Intrigue – We see an escalation when Trent gets into Mary’s bank account.
Reveal/ Surprise – Trent discovers Mary’s money is gone. Trent believed they were
partners in crime.
Betrayal – Robert gets it all and runs. -
‘Please Exchange Critique on Cycle 1 Scene.”
YVONNE ARNETT – SKILL MASTERY SHEET FOR QE PROCESS PART 1
INT. -LARGE YACHT IN A MARINA – NIGHT
Trent is watching from the far end of the Galley as two over-sized men, Stan and Jake,
enter and empty the bags they are carrying onto a nearby table, scattering Jewelry and
money across the top. They toss the black Ski masks they are carrying onto a nearby
counter.
JAKE
“Wow! What a beautiful boat.”
TRENT
“It’s not a boat, you yahoo. It’s a yacht.”
JAKE (good natured)
“Yeah? Robert told me this yacht belongs to a friend of yours and that you’re as broke
as the rest of us.”
Trent shakes his head.
TRENT
“Poor Robert. He can’t help it. He’s envious of anyone with money and power.”
Robert brings up the rear and is carrying the rifles. He overhears Trent.
ROBERT
“I was just kidding Trent. Can’t you take a joke?”
Trent grabs the rifles from a very nervous Robert and puts them into a large duffel bag
before placing it in a far corner of the room.
TRENT
“Of course, Robert. You didn’t pocket any of the jewelry on the way here… Did you?”
ROBERT
“You wanna pat me down?
TRENT
(Frowns)
“We’ll see. By the way Robert, Stan texted me after the robbery. Apparently you called
him by his first name during the holdup.“
Robert turns to Stan and chuckles.
ROBERT
“Hey, you know I didn’t mean it, Stan. Your name just slipped out, but there was no
harm done. I mean, nobody caught that… Right?”
Stan is leaning against the Galley counter cracking his knuckles. He gives Robert a
quiet, steady look. Robert quits laughing.
Robert settles himself into a soft arm chair and crosses his legs.
ROBERT
“Nice haul from that upscale jewelry store, Trent. We got lucky. It went real smooth.”
Trent puffs himself up.
TRENT
“No luck about it. This was a well planned operation. I know what I’m doing.”
ROBERT
“Yeah, but we took all the risks while you had it easy back here. Right guys? Maybe we
should get a bigger cut?”
Trent addresses Robert like talking to a small child.
TRENT
“If you had planned it Robert, you and Stan and Jake would either be dead or sitting in a
jail cell right now.”
ROBERT (laughs)
“Maybe, but I thought those rich dudes were gonna shit their pants when they saw our
guns!”
Robert’s attention reverts back to the table. Eyes bright with greed, he reaches over
and fondles some of the loot. He looks up and sees Trent, Stan, and Jake watching him.
He drops the jewelry he is holding and nonchalantly leans back in his chair.
TRENT
“Robert, why don’t you go and pick us up a couple of pepperoni and sausage pizzas at
Rizzo’s. Get the largest they have and make sure they use their special Marinara
sauce. It’s a simple task, you think you can handle it?”
Robert pats his pockets down.
Robert
“Sure Trent, but I’m a little short on cash and you’re the one with all the dough.”
He watches as Trent pulls several bills off the table and hands them to him. Reluctantly,
Robert leaves with one last anxious look over his shoulder at the table.
TRENT
“Stan, you count the cash. Jake, you can start sorting the jewelry. I’ll make us some
drinks.”
Stan and Jake sit down and do what they are told. Trent goes to the bar area of the
Galley and pulls a bottle of whiskey and four glasses out of the cabinet next to the sink.
Eyeing the glasses critically he lines them up in a perfect row. He adds ice and pours
generous amounts of whiskey into each glass. With his back to Robert and Jake, he
covertly removes a bottle of pills from his pocket and adds several of them to the first
three drinks. Satisfied, he smiles to himself, then joins Stan and Jake at the table. Trent
takes them into his confidence while Robert is gone.
TRENT
“Robert is a friend. I mean we go way back. But sometimes he has trouble with the
truth. For example, he said you both had it in for me and I should watch my back. I
didn’t know who to believe at first, but you did a first rate job today and while I’m in
charge, you’re part of the team. However, I think we should keep an eye on Robert
around the jewelry. Okey?”
Stan reaches over and grabs Trent by his arm.
STAN (angrily)
“What do you mean? Robert said you were the one we should watch.”
TRENT (sighs)
“That’s Robert’s MO. He always shifts the blame to others. He tends to have sticky
fingers around jewelry. That’s all.”
Stan lets go of Trent and both he and Jake look towards the door where Robert
disappeared,
mulling over the information. Trent smiles to himself. The atmosphere is charged when
Robert returns with two large pizza boxes. In order to make room for the Pizza boxes,
Robert moves the glasses aside on the counter. Trent is preoccupied with checking out
a diamond and ruby bracelet and doesn’t notice, but gives Robert a warning.
TRENT
“Be careful Robert, and don’t mess with the drinks! You know I like order.”
Robert quickly rearranges the glasses to please Trent, but in a different order. Stan
and Jake shoot daggers at Robert when he sits down at the table.
TRENT
“Robert, I have a zippered briefcase in the back room for the jewelry and cash. I want
you get it.”
Robert looks at Trent suspiciously as he leaves the room. Trent then opens the pizza
box, pulls out a large piece, grabs the fourth glass he believes is not drugged and
returns to the table. Jake and Stan follow and pick up their pizza and drinks. They both
shoot daggers at Robert when he returns with the briefcase. All four suspiciously watch
each other as they finish off the pizza and their drinks. When they are through, Trent
leans back in his chair and smiles at the group.
TRENT
“I think I planned this heist real well, don’t you guys?”
He looks to the guys for approval.
ROBERT
“Right, it was smooth. No hitches, no problems.”
TRENT
“A couple more like this and we’ll be sitting pretty. Meanwhile, I think it would be a
good idea to lock this stuff up. I have a safe in the my bedroom. We can divide it up
later once the jewelry is fenced.”
Trent leans forward in his chair and rummages frantically through the jewelry on the
table. He picks up one of the bags and shakes it, then looks up in shock.
TRENT
“A diamond and sapphire necklace was supposed to be in this haul. Its value is
estimated to be around fifty grand. Where is it? That was the whole purpose of this
heist. Who was holding the bags in the car?”
Jake and Stan turn to Robert for answers. Robert trembles.
ROBERT
“I never opened the bags. I swear.”
TRENT
“What do you think guys? Should we trust him?”
STAN
“Come on Jake. We’ll get it out of him!”
Stan and Jake get up and grab Robert. They drag him, protesting, out onto the deck .
Trent watches the beating through the side windows and smiles gleefully. Suddenly,
first Jake then Stan stumble and collapse onto the deck. Robert is bleeding, but still
standing. Confused he leans against the rail of the yacht for support before he staggers
inside and finds Trent sprawled, unconscious, on the Galley floor. A pill bottle is laying
next to him. Robert picks it up and slowly realizes what has happened. He smiles, then
proceeds to place all the jewelry and money from the table into the briefcase. He
leaves the yacht, humming a cheerful tune to himself. -
YVONNE ARNETT – SKILL MASTERY SHEET FOR QE PROCESS PART 1
ESSENCE: Every dog has his day and today is Big Stans.
INT. – SUBURBAN HOME KITCHEN – NIGHT
Robert, Trent, and Big Stan, enter the kitchen through the back door. They pull off the
black hoods they are wearing and throw them aside. Robert and Big Stan dump the
bags they are carrying onto the kitchen table.
Trent is carrying three rifles that he carefully places in a metal chest. Next he tosses in
several boxes of bullets and padlocks the chest, then places the key in his pants pocket
and smiles to himself. He notices Robert checking out the goods on the table. He
walks over and slaps him hard on the shoulder.
TRENT
(Frowns)
Next time you feel like sneezing, cover your mouth instead of pulling your hood up or it
will be your last sneeze. And no dropping first names during a holdup, got it?
Robert turns to Big Stan and chuckles.
ROBERT
Hey, you know I didn’t mean it, Big Stan. Your name just slipped out, but there was no
harm done. I mean, nobody caught that. Right?
Big Stan is leaning against the kitchen counter cracking his knuckles. He gives Robert
a quiet, steady look. Robert quits laughing.
BIG STAN
Nice haul from that classy restaurant, Trent. Busy night.
TRENT
It was fun seeing those rich dudes almost shit their pants when they saw our guns.
Laughing, Trent sits down and fondles some of the loot on the table that includes
jewelry, cash and credit cards. He looks up and sees both Big Stan and Robert eyeing
the money.
TRENT
Big Stan, go pick us up a couple of pepperoni pizzas at Rizzo’s. Get the largest they
have. And make sure it’s their special Marinara sauce. You think you can handle that?
BIG STAN
Sure Trent, but I’m a little short on cash.
Big Stan watches as Trent pulls several bills off the table and hands them to him.
Reluctantly, Big Stan leaves with one last anxious look over his shoulder at the table.
TRENT
Robert, you count the cash and I’ll make us some drinks..
Robert sits down and does what he is told. Trent gets up and grabs a six-pack of Coke
from the fridge, then pulls a bottle of Rum and three glasses out of the cabinet next to
the sink. Eyeing the glasses critically he lines them up in a perfect row. With his back
to Robert, he then pours generous amounts of Rum into each one and then adds the
Coke. He removes a bottle of pills from his pocket and adds several of them to the first
two drinks only. He smiles, satisfied with himself, he joins Robert at the table.
The money and jewelry is sorted when Big Stan returns with the pizza. In order to make
room for the Pizza boxes, Big Stan moves the glasses aside on the counter. Trent is
busy counting the money and doesn’t notice. Trent hollers over his shoulder at Big Stan.
TRENT
Be careful and don’t mess with the drinks! You know I like order.
Big Stan quickly rearranges the glasses to please Trent, but in a different order. Robert
starts to open the Pizza box.
TRENT
Robert, I have small plastic boxes and a zippered briefcase in the back bedroom for the
jewelry and cash. I want you and Big Stan to get them.
Big Stan and Robert look at Trent suspiciously, then leave the room. Trent then opens
the pizza box, pulls out a large piece, grabs the third glass he thinks is not drugged and
returns to the table. In the back bedroom Robert pulls Stan aside and speaks in a low
voice.
ROBERT
Look, I’m the last person that would want to cause any friction, but do you think we can
trust Trent? I heard that Trent isn’t real good about sharing.
Big Stan grabs Robert by his shirt front.
BIG STAN (angrily)
What do you mean? We’re all in this together.
ROBERT
Hey, I’m not saying it’s true, but I heard there was some problems with his last partner.
He might bare watching. That’s all.
Stan lets go of Robert and looks towards the door, mulling over the information. Robert
smiles to himself. They both return to the kitchen carrying the boxes and the briefcase.
The atmosphere has changed. They suspiciously watch each other as they dig into the
pizza and consume their drinks.
Trent is relaxed and enjoying the Rum drink.
TRENT
I think I planned this heist real well, don’t you guys?
He looks to Robert and Big Stan for approval.
ROBERT
Right, it was smooth. No hitches, no problems.
TRENT
A couple more and we’ll be sitting good. Meanwhile, I think it would be a good idea to
lock this stuff up. I have a safe in the back bedroom. We can divide it up later once the
jewelry is fenced.
Robert and Big Stan give each other questioning looks.
ROBERT
Sure, whatever you say Trent.
Big Stan cocks his head to one side.
BIG STAN
Did you hear that Robert? It sounds like someone is outside.
Big Stan jumps into action and walks quickly to the living room and peeps out the front
window.
BIG STAN (hollers)
Trent, get in here quick. There’s a dark car that’s driving slowly by the house.
Trent races to the Living room, but before he reaches the window Big Stan grabs him by
his shoulders and shakes him hard. Trent goes limp and Big Stan drops him onto the
floor. Trent doesn’t move. Big Stan looks questionably at Trent, then checks his
pockets and finds the pills. He looks towards the kitchen.
BIG STAN
Robert?. . . Robert, where are you?
No answer. Big Stan goes back to the kitchen and finds Robert slumped over the table
passed out. Realizing what has happened, Stan smiles, then proceeds to put all the
jewelry and money on the table into the briefcase and leaves. -
YVONNE ARNETT – THE QUALITY ELEVATION PROCESS
INT. – SUBURBAN HOME KITCHEN – NIGHT
Robert, Trent, and Big Stan, enter the kitchen through the back door. They pull off the
black hoods they are wearing and throw them aside. Robert and Stan dump the bags
they are carrying onto the kitchen table. They are laughing loudly and high-five each
other.
Trent is carrying three rifles that he carefully places in a metal chest. Next he tosses in
several boxes of bullets and padlocks the chest, then places the key in his pants pocket.
Satisfied he sits down and fondles some of the loot on the table that includes jewelry,
cash and credit cards. He turns to Robert.
TRENT
(Frowns)
Next time you feel like sneezing, cover your mouth instead of pulling your hood up or it
will be your last sneeze. And no first names, got it?
ROBERT
Hey, you know I didn’t mean it Big Stan. Your name just slipped out. There was no
harm done. I mean, nobody caught that. Right?
Big Stan is leaning against the kitchen counter cracking his knuckles. He gives Robert
a hard look. Robert shrinks into himself.
BIG STAN
Nice haul from that restaurant. Busy night.
TRENT
It was fun seeing those rich dudes almost shit their pants when they saw our guns.
Robert go pick us up a couple of pepperoni pizzas at Rizzo’s. Get the largest they
have. And make sure it’s their special Marinara sauce.
ROBERT
I’m a little short on cash, Trent.
Trent pulls several bills off the table and hands them to Robert. Robert reluctantly
leaves with one last anxious look over his shoulder at the loot.
TRENT
Big Stan, you count the cash and I’ll make us some drinks..
Big Stan sits down and does what he is told. Trent gets up and grabs a six-pack of
Coke from the fridge, then pulls a bottle of Rum and three glasses out of the cabinet
next to the sink. Eyeing the glasses critically he lines them up in a perfect row. With his
back to Big Stan, he then pours generous amounts of Rum into each one and then adds
the Coke. He removes a bottle of pills from his pocket and adds several of them to the
first two drinks only. He smiles, satisfied with himself he joins Big Stan at the table.
They have several stacks built up on the table when Robert returns with the pizza. He
moves the glasses aside on the counter to make room for the Pizza boxes. Trent
doesn’t notice that Robert inadvertently rearranged the glasses when he lined them
back up.
TRENT
Robert, I have small plastic boxes and a zippered briefcase in the back bedroom. I want
you and Big Stan to get them to put the jewelry and cash in.
Big Stan and Robert look at Trent suspiciously, then leave the room. Trent then opens
the pizza box, pulls out a large piece, grabs the glass he thinks is not drugged and
returns to the table. In the back bedroom Robert pulls Stan aside and speaks in a low
voice.
ROBERT
Look, I’m the last person that would want to cause any friction, but I heard from a friend
of mine that Trent isn’t real good about sharing.
BIG STAN
What do you mean? We’re all in this together.
ROBERT
I don’t know if it’s true, but maybe he gave his last partner the shaft? He might bare
watching. That’s all.
Stan looks towards the door, mulling over the information. Robert smiles to himself.
They both return to the kitchen carrying the boxes and the briefcase. The atmosphere
has changed. They suspiciously watch each other as they dig into the pizza and
consume their drinks.
TRENT
I have a safe in the back bedroom. I think it would be a good idea to lock this stuff up.
We can divide it up later once the jewelry is fenced.
Robert and Big Stan give each other questioning looks.
ROBERT
Sure, whatever you say Trent.
BIG STAN
Did you hear that Robert? It sounds like someone is outside.
Big Stan jumps into action and walks quickly to the living room and peeps out the front
window.
BIG STAN (hollers)
Trent, get in here quick. There’s a dark car that’s slowly driving by the house.
Trent races to the Living room, but before he reaches the window Big Stan grabs him by
his shirt front and knocks him down. Trent doesn’t move. Big Stan is surprised it was so
easy.
BIG STAN
Robert. . . Robert, where are you?
No answer, so Big Stan goes back to the kitchen and finds Robert slumped over the
table passed out. Stan looks around, then proceeds to collect the bounty and leave. -
YVONNE ARNETT – MAX INTEREST – INTEREST TECHNIQUE
From episode 22 – Ties That Bind
WHAT I LEARNED that is improving my writing is that this was very difficult to do. I
thought I was open to change, but my script is an old friend and I has to look at it with
different eyes. I hope I was able to do this. This scene, though short, is an important
part of my murder mystery involving these two. I’m now sure that it could be written in
many different ways. I’ll keep trying.
ESSENSE: Rick is instantly drawn to Angela because of her resemblance to his dead
wife and is being drawn into an intrigue by Angela who is hiding a terrible secret.
IMPORTANT: Angela is using Rick, however she falls for him and does not find out until
later in the story that she is a replacement for his wife. So neither are being honest with
each other.
TECHNIQUES USED:
Superior Position/ Dramatic Irony
Intrigue.
INT. RICK’S OFFICE – NIGHT
The office is dimly lit by a desk lamp. Rick is seated behind his desk working on his
computer. There is a light knock on the office door and Rick slides the desk drawer
open that contains his gun. Angela enters and stands in the doorway in deep shadow.
RICK
May I help you? I’m usually closed by now.
Angela steps out of the shadows and into the room. Rick recognizes her from the
restaurant and is flustered. He slides the drawer closed.
RICK
Sorry, please have a seat… Ms…?
ANGELA
…Ray…Angela Ray. You remember me? From Julio’s?
She flashes Rick’s card. He nods his head. His eyes move from Angela to a photo on
his desk of his deceased wife. They could pass for twins.
ANGELA
You were very galant.
Angela’s large dark eyes flick nervously around the tiny room before she sits down in
the chair facing Rick.
ANGELA
I- I need your professional help.
Rick reaches for the mini fridge door behind him, trying to compose himself.
RICK
You want something to drink…water, a beer?
ANGELA
No… no thank you.
She leans towards Rick. Her voice almost a whisper.
ANGELA
I need…the truth is i’m frightened. I afraid someone may be watching me.
Rick frowns and leans back in his chair, assessing her.
RICK
Someone you know? An old boyfriend, ex-husband?
Agitated, her face tightens, her voice raises an octave.
ANGELA
I… I just need to know if someone is watching my place.
He studies her face.
RICK
You sure there is nothing else I should know, Ms. Ray?
She hesitates, then speaks slowly as if to confide.
ANGELA
How far are you willing to stick your neck out for a client?
RICK
It depends… I’m kinda fond of my neck.
ANGELA
(soft laugh)
Don’t worry your neck is safe with me… for now.
The moment for confiding is gone. Rick clears his throat and gets down to business.
RICK
Why don’t I install several cameras around your place and monitor those. That should
tell us if someone is casing your home. Will that work for you?
Angela rises as if to leave, hesitates, then opens her purse and takes out a fat
envelope.
ANGELA
I thought you might need a retainer. Also, my address and cell number are in the
envelope.
Rick gets up and moves around the desk towards her.
ANGELA
You’ll start tomorrow?
He nods. Angela lays the envelope on the desk and walks towards the door. She turns,
studies his face then smiles. He returns the smile, hooked. Maybe, just maybe he will
stick his neck out for her.
RICK
Meanwhile, if you notice anything out of the ordinary…call me…anytime. -
Yvonne Arnett Profiles People
What I’ve learned is that my leading character lacks enough traits, good and bad to
make him interesting. This will most definitely change the dialogue in a lot of my
scenes. I’ll also be looking at other characters in my script.
Person 1: Good Person (2 normal, 1 extreme good guy trait, and 1 bad guy trait)
Giving
Proper
Sacrificing
Vindictive
Person 2: Extreme Person (2 normal and 2 extreme traits)
Loving
Fun
Generous
Narcissist
Deceptive
Person 3: Bad Person (2 extreme bad traits, 1 similar to good guy & 1 Positive trait)
Cunning
Malicious
Proper
Charming
Person 4: Regular Person (3 familiar traits and 1 extreme trait)
Proper
Charming
Loving
Judgmental -
YVONNE ARNETT – PUTS ESSENCE TO WORK
What I’ve learned is that I really need to review all my scenes. I believe many of them
will be rewritten to fit the real core of the story. Wow! What an eye opener. Thanks
Ties That Bind
Scene 1 Location: Scene 16
Logline: Private Investigator, Rick, is in a restaurant with a friend when the woman of
his dreams walks by.
Essence I’ve discovered: Rick has not recovered from his wife’s death and wants his
former life back.
New Logline: Private Investigator, Rick, is in a restaurant with a friend when a woman,
Angela, walks by who is a dead ringer for his dead wife.
Scene 2 Location: Scene 22
Logline: After a close friend, Tony is murdered, Angela hires Rick to find out if she is
being followed.
Essense I’ve discovered: Angela is afraid her past might catch up.
New Logline: There is a mutual attraction, so Angela hires Rick to find out if she is
being followed, without revealing her secret.
Scene 3 Location: Scene 77
Logline: Angela attempts to reveal her secret to Rick.
Essemce I’ve discovered: Angela realizes that Rick is in love with the image of his wife,
not who she is.
New Logline: Angela hasn’t been honest with Rick, but neither has he been honest with
her.
Scene 4 Location: Scene 86
Logline: Angela’s friend, Harold, is talking with someone on his cell who knows their
secret.
Essence I’ve discovered: Harold is cowardly and can’t keep a secret.
New Logline: Harold unwittingly plays into the hands of the killer.
Scene 5 Location: Scene 104
Logline: Angela’s secret is finally revealed.
Essence I’ve learned: Both Angela and Rick have an awakening of who they are.
New Logline: Rick discovers what is important and Angela faces her past. -
YVONNE ARNETT FINDS THE ESSENCE
What I’ve learned is how much depth can be written into one scene that also supports
the whole movie.
CASABLANCA
Location: End of Act 3
Logline: Rick allows his lover and her husband to escape by shooting the German Major who is
trying to stop them.
Essence: Rick has made the ultimate sacrifice by letting Ilsa go for reasons bigger than himself.
The French Policeman also makes a choice by covering for Rick by rounding up the usual
suspects. This scene had a lot of meaning for the audience at that time as we were in the middle
of a world war against tyranny and we were not sure of the outcome, but folks had to make
choices for the good of humanity. -
GROUP RELEASE FORM
Yvonne Arnett
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class. -
Hi, I’m Yvonne. I’ve had a varied work past that includes; assembly line worker, a training specialist, a park guide giving tours and now as a Realtor. I’m also an artist and love painting people and animals. I’ve written two screenplays, one short and one full length. I’m currently on a third murder mystery and it looks like I’ll be doing my share of rewriting scenes with Hal’s guidance. Nice meeting all of you.