[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Finishing Horror Outlines
“What did I learn doing this assignment?”
By having the emotions listed within the outline, it give me a clear outline for the entire script so I do not miss any important point.
Outline Ver #1
Title: Project Revenant Horror/Action
• Concept: A team of military contractors breaks into a covert bio-weapons lab, only to find themselves hunted by genetically engineered creatures that can adapt to their tactics and weapons and shape shift.

Act 1
Opening Scene

INT: RESEARCH LABORATORY – HOLDING TANK – DAY

A Scientist showing his teen son the work he is doing in the lab, inadvertently releases a monstrous specimen from its holding tank.
Anxiety: Lights go out. Father rushes to escape.
Shock: The specimen escapes from its tank.
Horror: His father is killed.
Fear: A scientist gets cut in two.
Hysteria: Tyler stands frozen in place as the creature reaches for him.

EXT: OPEN HELICOPTER – NIGHT

Two choppers fly low over a forest. They break over a lake, heading towards a well-lit facility at the far end of the lake.

FLASHBACK
INT: BRIEFING ROOM – MILITARY BASE

The team is briefed on both the mission and creatures.
Denial: Soldiers aren’t overly worried.

EXT: OPEN HELICOPTER – NIGHT

The choppers land, and the soldiers break apart. As the two birds lift off, the group makes for the entrance.

INT: SECURED ENTRANCE – NIGHT

The squad enters the building
Anxiety: Bodies are found everywhere.
Surprise: Webster fires his gun into the speakers, startling the group.

INT: ADMINSTRATION DEPARTMENT – NIGHT
Apprehension: They find a teenager, terrified and wide-eyed. He cannot speak.

INT: LAB – NIGHT
Surprise: The creature attacks and the soldiers retaliate.
Fear: The leader is taken.
Shock: Bullets cause an explosion.
Dread: trapped inside with the monster—no escape.
Surprise: Vincent, the corporate scientist and guide, goes missing during the attack.

INT: ROOM OFF MAIN HALLWAY – NIGHT

Anguish: Searching for leader
Horror: Find the man has been skinned alive.
Emotional: Webster loses it.

Act 2
INT: BOARD ROOM – NIGHT
The group take refuge in a boardroom.
Fear: Barrett orders Webster to search storage room for monster.
Anguish: Webster is terrified what he’ll find.
Surprise/Scare: Something moves and Webster opens fires on it.
Release: it’s only a mop.
Anxiety: Cortez hears a noise from the same storage room.
Shock: The monster has appeared.
Release: It’s gone as fast as it arrived.

INT: LAB 2 – NIGHT
The group contacts HQ and find that there may be an exit at the rear of the building.
Surprise: The monster attacks
Anger: The group fires back looking for payback.

INT. WASHROOM – NIGHT
The creature is injured but heals himself. Skin evolves into something like Kevlar.

INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT

Group catches sight of creature and attack it.
Surprise: Bullets have little effect.
Dread: The creature is getting stronger.

INT. LAB 1 – NIGHT
The group takes a break in a lab,
Surprise: The creature climbs through the ductwork and breaks into the lab.
Desperation: Archer throws a beaker at the creature. Contents turns out to be acid and burns the creature.
Release: the creature flees.

INT. CORRIDOR _ NIGHT
Horror situation: Webster becomes unhinged.
Surprise: Webster, the General’s son, runs.
Dread: Archer feels the young soldier will hurt himself

INT. STORAGE ROOM – NIGHT

Anxiety: Archer chases after Webster
Fear: Archer finds Webster locked himself in storage room.
Dread: Webster places his pistol under his chin to kill himself.
Panic: Archer sees the creature hanging above Webster.
Hysteria: Archer watches as the creature falls and consumes Webster.
Anguish: Archer hears the gun going off inside of the monster. Webster is still alive within the creature.
Panic: Archer flees

INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT

Hysteria: Archer races for the Lab in case the creature is after him.

Act 3
INT: LAB 2 – Night

Scare: The creature attacks from the shadows.
Desperation: Mia attacks the creature with Flachette ammunition, tearing chunks of flesh from the creature.
Release: The monster flees.

INT: CORRIDOR – NIGHT

The creature evolves once more, healing itself. Some of the flesh is not reproduced. Jagged points press outward from the monster’s skin.

INT: LAB 2 – Night

Scare: The door to the lab bursts open.
Fear: group begins to shoot at the creature.
Anger: Mia opens up with the flecette ammunition once again.
Terror: The creature fires bone spears from its chest.
Horror: Mia is impaled by bone shards.
Hysteria: Seeing her lover go down, Zuri attacks the chases after the monster.
Shock: Using a grenade, both she and the creature are caught in the explosion
Dread: Acher and Barrett attack and kill the dying monster.
Release: The thing is dying.
Hysteria: Something else advances. The men pull back.

.

INT: CORRIDOR – NIGHT

Surprise: Vincent appears.
Dread: The dying creature leaks black blood into a pool. It begins to clone itself.
Anxiety: Vincent explains that the creatures have been created to live through any kind of attack and will never stop unless order to by their handler.
Horror: The creature kills Vincent.
Hysteria: Archer and Barrett attack the creature with every weapon the have.
Horror: Barrett is impaled by the creatures bone shards, but empties his AA-12 (Auto Assault – 12) with high explosive armor-piercing (HEAP) and high explosive fragmenting antipersonnel (HEFA) and the monster retaliates with bone spears.
Release: Both Barrett and the Monster are dead.

INT: CARGO BAY – NIGHT
Tyler and Archer make their way to the cargo garage.
Release: The lockdown should be over soon.
Anxiety: Archer hears a noise behind him
Horror: Tyler’s face widening to reveal a massive mouth with rows and rows of teeth.
Panic: It lunges and kills Archer.
Creepy: Tyler begins to lick Archer’s blood as his body assumes Tyler’s form.

INT: BOARDROOM – SAME TIME

We cut to a scene to an observation room where a scientist and a general witness the entire fight.
Shock: The General likes what he has seen and orders the experiment to proceed to the next phase.
Horror: The Chinese will never know what hit them.

• This reply was modified 3 months, 2 weeks ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Scary-As-Hell Scene
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”
By sequencing the types of scares, you ramp up the terror and emotions for your audience.
Horror Situation: The group find their commanding officer. He was skinned alive.
Emotional: Webster loses it.
Fear: Barrett orders Webster to search storage room for monster.
Anguish: Webster is terrified what he’ll find.
Surprise/Scare: Something moves and Webster opens up on it.
Release: it’s only a mop.
Anxiety: Cortez hears a noise
Shock: The monster has appeared.
Release: It’s gone as fast as it arrived.

INT. BOARDROOM – NIGHT
The group rush into a large boardroom, a massive table taking much of the room's center. The first soldiers sweep their rifles across the empty space, while the remaining members back into the room, weapons aimed outward.
WEBSTER
(fearful)
Fuck! He was skinned alive. What does that?
MIA
Pull if together, Junior. It's nothing we can put down.
ZURI
You've got that straight.
She caresses her rifle and plants a kiss on the stock.
ZURI
Just don't get in the way when I light the fucker up.
Barrett pushes through them. He snarls at Webster.
BARRETT
Careful, boy. The General won't be too pleased if his boy wets himself the first time he comes face to face with a tango.
He pushes Webster towards the back of the room.
BARRETT
Now make yourself useful and clear that storage room.
Webster skids to a stop, almost falling. He glares at the others, but they are already checking their equipment. He turns and looks over his shoulder and stares at the door to the storage area.
He makes a scene pulling his gear so that it hangs right. He puffs out his chest and takes a long stride towards the room. He brings up his rifle at the ready, his finger already hovering over the trigger.
His lower lip quiver and his feet slow on their own accord. Eyes wide, he's panting through his nose. He looks back to see if any of the others have his back, but they are ignoring him.
Awkwardly, with the barrel of his rifle pressed against the door, he releases the latch. He pushes the door open, but it swings back at him. He is forced to use his hip to keep the door propped open.
He peers into the darkened room, the rifle visibly shaking. With his free hand, he reaches and flicks on the switch. He opens fire and empties his clip, strafing the room.
The others come running, rifles up. Barrett peers over Webster's shoulder, into the room and sees nothing but shot-up supplies. Liquid drips from shelves, a mop slowly falls to one side.
BARRETT
(astounded)
God-damn-it, boy. Just what the fuck is wrong with you.
(beat)
You just killed a mop.
Barrett shakes his head in disbelief.
BARRETT
You were fuckin' adopted, weren't ya? No way the General had anything to do with bringing you into the world. No God-Damn way.
INT. STORAGE ROOM – NIGHT
A cloud of gun smoke hangs in the room. The wall and the ceiling are marked with bullet holes. A substance with the consistency of black molasses begins to pour from the holes.
The liquid pools and starts to transform, steadily growing and evolving into the form of the monster. As it grows, it forces a cardboard box to fall over.
INT. BOARDROOM – NIGHT
Cortez cleans his rifle while he munches on cheese and crackers. He hears a noise and turns his head towards the storage room.
Annoyed, he sighs and gets to his feet. Picking up his rifle by the stock, he casually walks to the room and pushes the door open.
The monster stands over him. He turns to run and the creature drives a spear-shaped hand through the back of his head. Skull and brains spray over a few of the soldiers.
Mia starts to gag even as she fires on the monster. The door to the storage room slams shut and bullets rip through the door.
While Barrett moves towards the door, Mia sees a chunk of brain on the floor and throws up. The others grimace and move away from her.
Barrett pushes the door with the barrel of his rifle. The room lies empty.

• This reply was modified 3 months, 2 weeks ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Scares, Releases, and Creepy moments!
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”
By setting this up in the outline, we are able to create a believable fear track that builds on previous scare.

INT. LAB 2 – NIGHT
Webster moves to clear a storage room. He is shaking with terror.
Scare: He opens the door, causing a mop to fall over and Webster opens fire, causing the others to spin to face the threat.
Release: He killed a mop. – no monster.
Creepy moment: From the bullet holes in the wall, black slime oozes out to form the monster. It will attack from an area already deemed safe.

• This reply was modified 3 months, 2 weeks ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Assignment 12 Level Three Horror Emotions
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”
The buildup of emotions makes for a far better range of emotions from initial to extreme.

INT. CORRIDOR – NIGHT
Vincent turns from the group and embraces the creature in a loving hug. Slowly, arms curl around the scientist's shoulder and returns the gesture.
The hug continues to tighten, and Vincent arcs his back at the pain.
VINCENT
I miss you too, but that's too tight.
The pressure grows.
VINCENT
(groaning)
Please…
More arms wrap around the scientist, whose face is turning beat red.
VINCENT
But… I … loved you.
Vincent's body explodes. The top of his head hits the ceiling and bounces down the corridor towards the others. Blood jets from his ears and hits either wall.
A geyser of blood shoots from his neck, covering the floor. Blood sprays over the group. Webster is splashed across the face.
The rest of the group stumble backwards through the airlock, falling and tripping over each other.
Webster is screaming and hitting the others to escape the horror behind him. He pushes through the door.

INT. LAB 3 – NIGHT
Webster rolls through the airlock and falls face first into the lab. He screams in pain as one of the others steps on his hand. He curls up in a ball.
Barrett grabs him by the collar of his flak jacket and hauls him to his feet.
BARRETT
God-damn-it. Get your shit together, boy or I swear, I'll toss your ass out there so we can escape.
Webster cringes at the big man's threat, whimpering. The big soldier drops him, and he scrambles away to crouch against a cabinet on the far wall.
As the others point their weapons towards the airlock they have just come through, Archer gives out commands.
ARCHER
Stay focused, people. Anyone hurt? Sound out.
MIA
We're good. I'm switching to sabot rounds. See if that puts a crimp in that thing's style.
ZURI
Damn, girl. You're sexy when you talk dirty.
Archer smirks but moves on. As he passes Barrett, the big soldier pats the heavy auto shotgun.
BARRETT
You want me to bring out my howitzer?
Archer shakes his head.
ARCHER
Not just yet. Let's see how the sabot rounds do. I want yours as a backup.
Both men turn abruptly as they hear a hiss behind them. They see the airlock at the far side of the lab closing. Webster is making a run for it.
BARRETT
That chicken-shit coward.
Archer shakes his head.
ARCHER
Keep an eye in here. I'll get him.
Barrett snarls menacingly.
BARRETT
Leave the motherfucker. He's a waste of air.
Archer shrugs, unslings his rifle and moves towards the airlock.
INT. CORRIDOR – NIGHT
Archer squeezes through the sliding opening and shouts at fleeing soldier.
ARCHER
(shouts)
Webster.
The man looks over he shoulder but keeps moving through the darkened hallway. As he comes to a intersection, he turns left. A door to his right has a sign above it, "Storage." He pushes through it
He hits the sensor pad and the door hisses open. As he dives into the room, he locks the door behind him.
Archer races around the corner and sees the light from the room through the glass partition. He sees Webster curled up on the floor.
ARCHER
Open the door, Webster. It's not safe out here. We have to get back to the others.
Webster looks up at him. He pulls himself to his knees, shaking his head. He says something, but the glass door muffles his words.
Archer watches in dismay as the younger man pulls out his service weapon and stares at it. Archer pounds on the glass.
ARCHER
No! That's never the answer. It's not over yet.
Webster grasps the weapon in both hands and places the barrel of the .45 Under his chin. Tears fall from the man's eyes.
Archer catches a movement near the ceiling and looks up. The entire ceiling is black. As he watches, the center of the black mass begins to stretch, revealing rows of teeth.
The mouth opens five feet across. Four eyes, each in a different corner of the room, glare at Webster.
Webster looks at Archer, sees the direction of his gaze and looks up. His eyes fill with terror as he sees the wide mouth.
The creature drops from the ceiling like a wet blanket. The black mass fully engulfs Webster and Archer can see the shape of the man's body before the sound of a gunshot rings out.
ARCHER
NOOOOO!
Archer steps back as the creature absorbs Webster. Webster is shaking, his rifle bouncing as he keeps the sights on the creatures.
He backs away, stumbling and running as fast as he can. He's constantly checking behind him to see if the creature is following.
In his panic, he runs into the frame of the airlock leading back into the lab he had just left. Frantically, he scrambles to his feet and slaps the sensor plate to open the door. He backs in, rifle aimed up the corridor.
As the door slides close, he slams the lock closed and crumples to the floor. The others race towards him. He is hyperventilating and cannot answer his comrade's inquires.
MIA
What happened? Where's Webster?
BARRETT
Give him some air. Take your time, Archer.
He presses his hand on Archer's chest.
BARRETT
Breath, man. You're safe.
Archer shakes his head frantically.
The others exchange an uncertain look

• This reply was modified 3 months, 2 weeks ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Horror Outline Ver. 2
Title: Project Revenant Horror/Action
• Concept: A team of military contractors breaks into a covert bio-weapons lab, only to find themselves hunted by genetically engineered creatures that can adapt to their tactics and weapons and shape shift.
Act 1
Opening Scene
INT: RESEARCH LABORATORY – HOLDING TANK – DAY
A Scientist showing his teen son the work he is doing in the lab, inadvertently releases a monstrous specimen from its holding tank.
The specimen escapes from its tank and tears apart the scientist while his son watches in terror. Flashing lights as the creature escapes. We do not see the creature.
The other scientists leave him to his fate and rush to escape while the lab goes into lockdown.
One of the scientist slides under the closing door and the door closes and cuts him in two. He stares at Tyler as he bleeds out.
Tyler stands frozen in place. We see his eyes track the creature as it rears above him. Long, needle-like claws grasp the boy around his jaws.
EXT: OPEN HELICOPTER – NIGHT
Two choppers fly low over a forest. They break over a lake, heading towards a well-lit facility at the far end of the lake.
INT: BRIEFING ROOM – MILITARY BASE
Team Bravo, special Ops Reactionary group, a group of hardcore men and women, all professional soldiers, sit in a briefing. Vincent, the head scientist and guide, tells the soldiers that they must do everything they can to contain the creatures rather than kill them—they are like children and do not know any better, besides they are worth millions of tax dollars. The corporate refutes that—they have been designed to kill and if they get loose, the last thing they’ll be worried about is the loss of money. He warns the soldiers that if anything goes wrong; they are on their own because they cannot allow the creatures to escape the facility, but the soldier refuses to stand down. Orders are orders. Webster, the General’s kid makes a snide remark and the team members all tell him to shut his hole. That he has not proven himself to the team and that they only reason he’s here is that his old man, the General called in some favors. Leader of Team Bravo tells the scientist that nothing can defeat his team. EXT: OPEN HELICOPTER – NIGHT The choppers land, and the soldiers break apart. As the two birds lift off, the group makes for the entrance. INT: SECURED ENTRANCE – NIGHT The squad moves forward. They can see signs of a fight, dead bodies littered everywhere. Music comes over the speaker system, driving them nuts. Webster shoots out the speaker and gets knocked in the head by Barrett for causing unnecessary noise. The entire team is pissed. INT: ADMINSTRATION DEPARTMENT – NIGHT They find a teenager, terrified and wide-eyed. He is in complete shock. Barrett said to put the women in charge of baby-sitting, but Archer takes the boy instead. INT: LAB – NIGHT
As the team enters a large lab, the creature attacks and the soldiers retaliate. The soldiers only see a flash of black as it grabs their leader and retreats. Lightning fast. A bullet hits a gas main, and a fire ensues. The fire follows the gas line and creates an explosion which destroys the entrance to the front of the building. The creature disappears during the explosion. But they are trapped. Vincent, the corporate scientist and guide, goes missing during the attack. No one knows what happened to him. INT: ROOM OFF MAIN HALLWAY – NIGHT We see Captain Armstrong hanging from the ceiling. The monster uses its claws to cut through body armor. When it touches the body armor, its skin mimics the material becoming bullet proof. Razor sharp claws cut through the man’s body armor and skins the man alive. Licking the blood heals the creature.
Act 2
INT: BOARD ROOM – NIGHT
The team communicates with HQ. The HQ will cut through the blockage, but not before the group ensure that all the creatures have been accounted for. There is a cargo entrance near the rear of the building, but it should be locked down as well. INT: LAB 2 – NIGHT The group finds their dead friend, all his skin lying in a heap on the floor beside a pool of blood. Webster, the general’s son, loses it, firing off his entire clip, endangering the team. Two soldiers unarm and secure him for his own good. No one is happy having him along. The stress starts getting to the team members and most want to leave Webster to fend for himself. The group wants revenge. Determines to clear the lab of all creatures and make an attempt at the cargo bay.
INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT The group leaves the lab and moves through the corridor. A large darken area, the level below, is visible from the causeway. In the shadows, they can make out one of the monsters moving. They open fire. Rather than retreating, the creature leaps to their position and a firefight breaks out, but although the bullets push the monster back, they do little to injury him. They realize the creature is now bullet proof. They manage to reach the next door, get in and lock it behind them. INT. LAB 1 – NIGHT
The group takes a break in a lab, making sure the two entrances are secure. They check the ammo and grab some water. The members begin to argue. Barrett hates sneaking around and wants to hunt the creatures down and wipe them out. The others aren’t certain, especially seeing how they know next to nothing about the creature’s strengths and weaknesses.
Archer gets the kid to tell him his name. The two women, watching Tyler, speak about adopting a kid once the their tour is up. The creature climbs through the ductwork and breaks into the lab. Archer uses a Bunsen burner as a flamethrower to ward off the creature, but it causes the sprinkler system to go off. Only the emergency lighting is left for them to navigate. Everything is in shadows. INT. CORRIDOR _ NIGHT Webster, the General’s son, becomes anxious, mentally degrading, head snapping from shadow to shadow. He makes a run for it runs through the building. Archer chases after him, while Barrett yells at him to forget Webster cause that idiot would kill the lot of them. INT. STORAGE ROOM – NIGHT Webster throws himself into a storage room and locks the door. The kid is having a meltdown. He holds the gun against his head but can’t decide.
The monster stretches itself flat against the ceiling. It shows its shape shifting talent as it stretches its mouth to fully envelop its victim. The monster drops from the ceiling and kills the General’s son.
INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT
Archer sees the monster kill Webster. Gathering the others, they continue on. It is very tense. Members of the group get snappy at each other. Barrett wants an all-out fight, but Archer reminds him that their bullets aren’t doing much. Archer keeps calling for teamwork. The women talk about adopting a child.
Archer talks to Tyler about himself. Tyler asks if they’ll be able to get out alive. Archer promises to the best he can. When all else fails, run as fast as you can towards the exit.
Act 3
INT: LAB 2 – Night
The group moves through another lab in the lowlight. The creature attacks from the shadow. The soldiers lay down a barrage of gunfire. As the creatures turns towards Barrett, Mia pulls and throws a knife at the beast. It hits the creature in the head. It is staggered by the cut and is forced to flee.
INT: CORRIDOR – NIGHT
The creature leans against a wall, leaking yellow blood down its body, pooling on the floor. It extracts the knife and examines it, even pokes into one of its appendages. From its upper body, a jagged junk of bone extends from the black skin. With a grunt the bone shard is fired and slams into the cement wall, buried. Two more follow.
INT: LAB 2 – Night
The group begins to relax, loading bullets and getting ready to move on. The lab door slides open and the creature moves into sight. The soldiers duck under cover and begin blasting. Mia pulls out another knife. She rises to throw, and the monster retaliates, firing multiple bone shards, impaling Mia. Seeing her partner and lover killed, the other woman, Zuri goes ballistic and attacks the monster as it moves back through the doorway. INT: CORRIDOR – NIGHT As she latches onto the creature, she pulls a grenade. It goes off, shredding the monster but killing Zuri. The rest of the group follows after the grenade explodes and finishes off the creature. Zuri’s body is torn apart. As they watch, yellow blood leaks from the creature and pools. From the pool, something begins moving and a creature begins to form and starts to grow. It is cloning itself. Bennett raises his gun, but is stopped by Vincent, who bursts in from a side door. He gets between the platoon and the monster. He created and raised these monsters, and they only attack when threatened. He wants to save his “children.” Behind him the creature grows to full size. Once the metamorphosis is complete, Vincent embraces the creature speaking soothingly. The creature returns the embrace but then hugs the scientist until his body bursts. INT: LAB 3 – NIGHT Archer and Barrett plan out their next move. They will move against the next monster. Archer plans on using the gas from a Bunsen burner on the monster. Fire had hurt it before. Once it is hurt, Barrett will finish it off.
Everything goes as plan, but as they begin to celebrate another creature enters the lab. Barrett attacks with a AA-12 (Auto Assault – 12) with high explosive armor-piercing (HEAP) and high explosive fragmenting antipersonnel (HEFA) and the monster retaliates with bone spears. Both are killed.
Barrett is hit by multiple bone shards but fires even while he begins to bleed out.
Archer is protecting the boy, Tyler.
INT: CARGO BAY – NIGHT
Archer and Tyler make it to the cargo bay, only to find the door is in lockdown. They both begin to relax. Archer tells Tyler that they only have an hour to wait until the lockdown is lifted and help should be right behind the door.
Archer lays out the last of the weapons, including Barrett’s big AA-12. He is loading the guns while he tries to reassure the teen that they’ll be okay.
Flashback: RESEARCH LABORATORY – HOLDING TANK – DAY
Tyler stands frozen in place. We see his eyes track the creature as it rears above him. Long, needle-like claws grasp the boy around his jaws.
It places a hand on the boy's head, his body begins to transform into clone of Tyler. The clone then opens its mouth and lunges at the boy.
INT: CARGO BAY – NIGHT
Hearing a noise, he turns to find Tyler’s face widening to reveal a massive mouth with rows and rows of teeth. It lunges and kills Archer.
INT: BOARDROOM – SAME TIME
We cut to a scene to an observation room where a scientist and a general witness the entire fight. The General likes what he has seen and orders the experiment to proceed to the next phase. The Chinese will never know what hit them.

• This reply was modified 3 months, 3 weeks ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Level 2 Horror Emotion Scene Assignment #11
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”
By allowing one type of emotion to build on the others, you can craft a well rounded group of emotions that run the gambit.

INT. BOARDROOM STORAGE – NIGHT

The group rush into a large boardroom, a massive table taking much of the room’;s center. The first soldiers sweep their rifles across the empty space, while the remaining members back into the room, weapons aimed outward.

WEBSETER
(fearful)
Fuck! He was skinned alive. What does that?

MIA
Pull if together, Junior. It's nothing we can put down.

ZURI
You’ve got that straight.

She caresses her rifle and plants a kiss on the stock.

ZURI
Just don’t get in the way when I light the fucker up.

Barrett pushes through them. He snarls at Webster.

BARRETT
Careful, boy. The General won’t be too pleased if his boy wets himself the first time he comes face to face with a tango.

He pushes Webster towards the back of the room.

BARRETT
Now make yourself useful and clear that storage room.

Webster skids to a stop, almost falling. He glares at the others, but they are already checking their equipment. He turns and looks over his shoulder and stares at the door to the storage area.
He makes a scene pulling his gear so that it hangs right. Puffing out his chest, he takes a long stride towards the room. He brings up his rifle at the ready, his finger already hovering over the trigger.
His lower lip quiver and his feet slow on their own accord. Eyes wide, he's panting through his nose. He looks back to see if any of the others have his back, but they are ignoring him.
Awkwardly, with the barrel of his rifle pressed against the door, he releases the latch. He pushes the door open, but it swings back at him. He is forced to use his hip to keep the door propped open.
He peers into the darkened room, the rifle visibly shaking. With his free hand, he reaches and flicks on the switch. He opens fire and empties his clip, strafing the room.
The others come running, rifles up. Barrett peers over Webster’s shoulder, into the room and sees nothing but shot-up supplies. Liquid drips from shelves, a mop slowly falls to one side.

BARRETT
(astounded)
God-damn-it, boy. Just what the fuck is wrong with you. You just killed a mop.

Barrett shakes his head in disbelief.

BARRETT
You were fuckin’ adopted, weren’t ya? No way the General had anything to do with bringing you into the world. No God-Damn way.

• This reply was modified 3 months, 3 weeks ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Assignment #10 Horror Emotions
What I learned doing this assignment…?
I learned that it is much better to build up the emotions one on top of the other.

FADE IN:

INT. LABORATORY – GARAGE – DAY

BRENT and TYLER SHERIDAN push through a heavy metal door, a squealing audio alarm ceasing as the door closes behind them.
They run across the large garage area to a metal set of stairs. At the top, Brent, the father, dressing in a lab coat, swipes at card reader beside another sealed door.
The thick, metal and glass door hisses as it opens.

INT. LABORATORY – AIR LOCK – DAY

They enter and Brent pushes , his son into the corner, under a security camera. He looks up into the lens and the door clicks at his back.

BRENT
Brent Sheridan. Access code 7802993-992.

COMPUTERIZED VOICE
Good morning, Dr. Sheridan. Today is supposed to be your day off.

BRENT
Good morning, Velda. I forgot some papers in my office. I'll only be a moment.
The second door opens, and he pushes his son through it.

COMPUTERIZED VOICE
Have a nice day, Dr. Sheridan.

INT. LABORATORY – CORRIDOR – DAY

Brent nervously takes the lead, keeping his son behind him. He peaks around a corner, pauses, and then pulls his son along with him as he ducks into a lab, easing the door close.

INT. LABORATORY – BRENT'S LAB – DAY

His shoulders sag in relief. Tyler lets out a giggle, covering his mouth. Brent hushes him as he engages the lock.

BRENT
Keep it down. Remember, if they catch you in here, I could lose my job.
Tyler sobers up and steps towards the monitors his father is powering up. Tyler's eyes go wide at what he sees on the screen.

TYLER
(shock)
That’s so… sick!
He licks his lips. Leaning closer to the monitor, his face lit up in the dark room, he stares in wonder.

TYLER
What are they like? Are they smart?
Brent is standing behind his son, hand on his shoulder.

BRENT
Very smart. They continue to surprise us. Vincent, er… Dr. Wright believes he may be able to teach them to speak.

TYLER
That’s so…
The lights and monitors shut off, leaving them in complete darkness. Brent moves to the doors and looks out through the thick glass. Emergency lighting illuminates the hallway.

COMPUTERIZED VOICE
This is an emergency. There has been a breach in the electrical grid. Security doors compromised. All personnel evacuate the lab. Lock down commencing, T – 20 seconds.

BRENT
Christ!
He grabs his son by the arm and pulls him towards the door.

INT. LABORATORY – CORRIDOR – DAY

A glance down the hallway shows billowing steam.

TYLER
Dad…

BRENT
Hurry. We have to get out! This way.
He turns towards the back entrance where they had entered, only to see a blinking red light at the top of the door.

BRENT
Damn.
Brent reverses his direction, pulling Tyler with him.

BRENT
Come on. We need to use the main entrance.
Tyler, wide-eyed struggles to keep up with his father and almost flips as he is pulled forward. They run towards the column of steam moving across the walkway. It comes from a massive steel door on the left.
Brent staggers to a stop when he sees that the door has cracked open, releasing the compressed gas from the airlock within.
To Tyler, he points towards the exit.

BRENT
Go. I have to close the containment chamber.
Tyler freezes in place, fear and uncertainty on his features.

TYLER
But, …

BRENT
(screams)
GOOOO!!!
Brent lurches for the chamber and throws his shoulder into the massive slab of steel.
At the end of the walkway, near the entrance, a SCIENTIST yells at Tyler.

SCIENTIST
The door is closing. Run!
Tyler looks from the man to his dad.
Brent is pushing as hard as he can on the door. Over his should Brent pleads with his son.

BRENT
Run. Please, Tyler. Get out.
A jet-black hand appears around the edge of the door and curls around the steel. Razor-sharp talons scrap for purchase.
Tyler’s mouth hangs open at the sight, everything else forgotten. In a daze, he looks for help from the fleeing scientist, who is now sliding feet-first under the closing airlock door.
With no warning, the door drops onto the man’s legs, severing them from his body. Blood splashes upward, marring the glass. The man’s screams echo through the corridor.
Tyler’s stunned look returns to his father. The door explodes outward, throwing his father against the wall. He settles to the floor, his head turned the wrong way, obviously dead.
The door swings back, but the same hand stops its arc. Steam, tinted red from the flashing lights, fills the interior of the chamber.
The hand reaches out towards Tyler.

• This reply was modified 3 months, 3 weeks ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Horror Outline Ver. 1
Hi boys an girls. If you'd like to swap scripts, please contact me at wickendendave@gmail.com

Title: Project Revenant Horror/Action
• Concept: A team of military contractors breaks into a covert bio-weapons lab, only to find themselves hunted by genetically engineered creatures that can adapt to their tactics and weapons and shape shift.

Act 1
Opening Scene

INT: RESEARCH LABORATORY – HOLDING TANK – DAY

A Scientist showing his teen son the work he is doing in the lab, inadvertently releases a monstrous specimen from its holding tank.
The specimen escapes from its tank and tears apart the scientist while his son watches in terror. The creature bites into him and shakes him like a dog shaking a rat.
The other scientists leave him to his fate and rush to escape while the lab goes into lockdown.
One of the scientist slides under the closing door and the door closes and cuts him in two. He stares at the Tyler as he bleeds out. The monster gets down on all fours and licks at the pool of blood. His muscles visibly grow. It looks up and sees Tyler. The boy stands frozen in place. It approaches and reaches for Tyler.

EXT: OPEN HELICOPTER – NIGHT

Two choppers fly low over a forest. They break over a lake, heading towards a well-lit facility at the far end of the lake.

INT: BRIEFING ROOM – MILITARY BASE

Team Bravo, special Ops Reactionary group, a group of hardcore men and women, all professional soldiers, sit in a briefing. The head scientist warns them that if any of the specimens escaped, it would be suicide for them to enter, but the soldier refuses to stand down. Orders are orders.
Leader of Team Bravo tells the scientist that nothing can defeat his team.

EXT: OPEN HELICOPTER – NIGHT

The choppers land and the soldiers break apart. As the two birds lift off, the group make for the entrance.

INT: SECURED ENTRANCE – NIGHT

The squad moves forward. They can see signs of a fight, dead bodies littered everywhere. Music comes over the speaker system, driving them nuts. Webster shoots out the speaker and gets knocked in the head by Barrett for causing unnecessary noise. The entire team is pissed.

INT: ADMINSTRATION DEPARTMENT – NIGHT
They find a teenager, terrified and wide-eyed. He explains what happened to his father and that he’s been hiding ever since.

INT: LAB – NIGHT
As the team enters a large lab, the creature attacks and the soldiers retaliate. The soldiers only see a flash of black as it grabs their leader and retreats. Lightning fast. A bullet hits a gas main, and a fire ensues. The fire follows the gas line and creates an explosion which destroys the entrance to the front of the building. The creature is wounded and slinks off. But they are trapped.
Vincent, the corporate scientist and guide, goes missing during the attack. No one knows what happened to him.

INT: ROOM OFF MAIN HALLWAY – NIGHT

We see Captain Armstrong hanging from the ceiling. The monster uses its claws to cut through body armor. When it touches the body armor, its skin mimics the material becoming bullet proof. Razor sharp claws cut through the man’s body armor and skins the man alive. Licking the blood heals the creature.

Act 2
INT: BOARD ROOM – NIGHT

The team communicates with HQ to find that the building is in lockdown for at least 12 hours. They are to shelter-in-place until reinforcements arrive. There is a cargo entrance near the rear of the building, but it should be locked down as well. Tyler confirms the rear entrance as the way he and his father entered.
Tyler explains what happened to his father and that he watched the creature become stronger when it licked up the blood of its victims.

INT: LAB 2 – NIGHT

The group finds their dead friend, all his skin lying in a heap on the floor beside a pool of blood. Webster, the general’s son, loses it, firing off his entire clip, endangering the team. Two soldiers unarm and secure him for his own good. No one is happy having him along. The stress starts getting to the team members and most want to leave Webster to fend for himself.
The group wants revenge. Determines to clear the lab of all creatures and make an attempt at the cargo bay.

INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT

The group leaves the lab and moves through the corridor. A large darken area, the level below, is visible from the causeway. In the shadows, they can make out one of the monsters moving. They open fire.
Rather than retreating, the creature leaps to their position and a firefight breaks out, but although the bullets push the monster back, they do little to injury him. They realize the creature is now bullet proof. They manage to reach the next door, get in and lock it behind them.

INT. LAB 1 – NIGHT
The members begin to argue. Barrett makes comments about women in the military and the two women are ready to go at him. Archer needs to calm them down.
The creature climbs through the ductwork and breaks into the lab. Archer uses a Bunsen burner as a flame thrower to ward off the creature, but it causes the sprinkler system to go off. Only the emergency lighting is left for them to navigate. Everything is in shadows.
General’s son makes a run for it runs through the building and throws himself into a room and locks the door. The kid is having a meltdown. He holds the gun against his head but can’t decide.
The monster stretches itself flat against the ceiling. It shows its shape shifting talent as it stretches its mouth to fully envelop its victim. The monster drops from the ceiling and kills the General’s son.

INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT
Archer sees the monster kill Webster. Gathering the others, they continue on. It is very tense. Members of the group get snappy at each other. Barrett wants an all-out fight, but Archer reminds him that their bullets aren’t doing much. Archer keeps calling for teamwork. The women talk about adopting a child.
Archer talks to Tyler about himself. Tyler asks if they’ll be able to get out alive. Archer promises to the best he can. When all else fails, run as fast as you can towards the exit.

Act 3
INT: LAB 2 – Night
The group moves through another lab in the lowlight. The creature attacks from the shadow. The soldiers lay down a barrage of gunfire. As the creatures turns towards Barrett, Mia pulls and throws a knife at the beast. It is staggered by the cut and is forced to flee.

INT: CORRIDOR – NIGHT

The creature leans against a wall, leaking yellow blood down its body, pooling on the floor. It extracts the knife and examines it, even pokes into one of its appendages. From its upper body, a jagged junk of bone extends from the black skin. With a grunt the bone shard is fired and slams into the cement wall, buried. Two more follow.

INT: LAB 2 – Night

The group begins to relax, loading bullets and getting ready to move on. The lab door slides open and the creature moves into sight. The soldiers duck under cover and begin blasting. Mia pulls out another knife. She rises to throw, and the monster retaliates, firing multiple bone shards, impaling Mia.
Seeing her partner and lover killed, the other woman, Zuri goes ballistic and attacks the monster as it moves back through the doorway.

INT: CORRIDOR – NIGHT

As she latches onto the creature, she pulls a grenade. It goes off, shredding the monster but killing Zuri. The rest of the group follows after the grenade explodes and finishes off the creature. Zuri’s body is torn apart.
As they watch, yellow blood leaks from the creature and pools. From the pool, something begins moving and a creature begins to form and starts to grow. It is cloning itself. Bennett raises his gun, but is stopped by Vincent, who bursts in from a side door.
He gets between the platoon and the monster. He created and raised these monsters, and they only attack when threatened. He wants to save his “children.”
Behind him the creature grows to full size. Once the metamorphosis is complete, Vincent embraces the creature speaking soothingly. The creature returns the embrace but then hugs the scientist until his body bursts.

INT: LAB 3 – NIGHT

Archer and Barrett plan out their next move. They will move against the next monster. Archer plans on using the gas from a Bunsen burner on the monster. Fire had hurt it before. Once it is hurt, Barrett will finish it off.
Everything goes as plan, but as they begin to celebrate another creature enters the lab. Barrett attacks with a AA-12 (Auto Assault – 12) with high explosive armor-piercing (HEAP) and high explosive fragmenting antipersonnel (HEFA) and the monster retaliates with bone spears. Both are killed.
Barrett is hit by multiple bone shards but fires even while he begins to bleed out.
Archer is protecting the boy, Tyler.

INT: CARGO BAY – NIGHT

Archer and Tyler make it to the cargo bay, only to find the door still in lockdown. They both begin to relax. Archer tells Tyler that they only have an hour to wait until the lockdown is lifted and help should be right behind the door.
Archer lays out the last of the weapons, including Barrett’s big AA-12. He is loading the guns while he tries to reassure the teen that they’ll be okay.

INT: RESEARCH LABORATORY – HOLDING TANK – DAY

It looks up from lapping up the blood and sees Tyler. The boy stands frozen in place. It approaches and reaches for Tyler. It places a hand on the boys head his body begins to transform into clone of Tyler. The clone then opens its mouth and lunges at the boy.

INT: CARGO BAY – NIGHT

Hearing a noise, he turns to find Tyler’s face widening to reveal a massive mouth with rows and rows of teeth. It lunges and kills Archer.

INT: BOARDROOM – SAME TIME

We cut to a scene to an observation room where a scientist and a general witness the entire fight. The General likes what he has seen and orders the experiment to proceed to the next phase. The Chinese will never know what hit them.

• This reply was modified 3 months, 4 weeks ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Assignment #7 Monster Reveal Track
What I learned doing this assignment is…?
By tracking the reveals, I can leave a trail of clues for the audience to pick up on.
A. Who is your monster and what is their terror?
• Powers? – Shape shifter and able to evolve to dangers
• Limitations? – Can be injures by unknown attacks
• Weaknesses? – Can only be injured or killed using new types of attacks.
• Plan/Purpose/Appetite? Kill all adversaries. Can eat flesh for energy and transformations
B. Sequence the reveals.
C. Create Demand for each clue/reveal.
2. Lay that over your current outline and fill in each clue/reveal using the tag “Monster Reveal:.”
Act 1 – Set up for Horror
Atmosphere of Evil established – Scientists working in a lab are confronted by a specimen that escapes its holding tank.
Horror Situation – A lab specimen escapes from its holding tank and tears apart a scientist.
Character Death 1 – Scientist – Tyler’s Father
Why: He makes the mistake and releases the monster.
How: Creature bites into him and shakes him like a dog shaking a rat.
Monster Reveal: Monster attacks a scientist and attacks by biting him like an animal
Reaction – the other scientists leave him to his fate and rush to escape while the lab goes into lockdown.
Horror Situation – Trying to escape, one of the scientist slides under the closing door and is cut in half.
Character Death 2 – Scientist 2
Why: In a panic to escape, he leaves a visiting team to fend for himself and attempts to slide under the closing door.
How: The door closes and cuts him in two. He watches the boy as he bleeds out.
Reaction – his blood covers one of his co-workers and he goes into shock.
Monster reveal: Monster gets down on all fours and licks at the pool of blood.
Connect with the characters – Meet Team Bravo, Heavy Reactionary group. A group of hardcore men and women, all professional soldiers, some
The characters are warned not to do it. – The head scientist warns them that if any of the specimens escaped, it would be suicide for them to enter, but government agent refuses to stand down. Nothing can stop his group.
Denial of Horror – Leader of Team Bravo tells the scientist that nothing can defeat his team.
Safety taken away – As the team enters the building, the creature attacks and the soldiers retaliate. A bullet hits a gas main, and a fire ensues. The fire follows the gas line and creates an explosion which destroys the entrance to the facility. The creature is wounded and slinks off. One man is taken. They find a teenager, terrified and wide-eyed. Monster Reveal: The soldiers only see a flash of black as it grabs their leader and retreats. Lightening fast.

Horror Situation: Vincent –Unknown Motive – Corporate Scientist and guide goes missing after the attack.
Reaction: No one knows what happened to him.
Monster Reveal: We see how its claws can cut through body armor and can adapt (shape shifting) its body to become bullet proof.
Monster: The nature of the beast. We see the wounded soldier being hung from the ceiling. Razor sharp claws cut through the man’s body armor. Its skin simulates the body armor so that it becomes bullet proof.
Horror Situation – Shackled – The creature begins to skin the man while still alive.
Reaction – the man dies screaming.
Character Death 3 – Captain Armstrong – Platoon Leader
Why: Not ready for an attack with his entire crew at the ready.
How: Grabbed from behind and taken. Skinned alive.
Monster Reveal: Monster’s body goes gray and as he licks the blood off the body, it becomes healthier.

Act 2 – The Point of No Return
• Isolated / Trapped / Abducted
The team realizes that they are trapped within the building and the locks are in place for 12 hours.
Monster Reveal Demand: Tyler explains that he watched as the creature became stronger when it licked up the blood of its victims.
• One of us killed
Horror Situation: Determines to clear the lab of all creatures, the group finds their dead friend, all his skin lying in a heap on the floor beside a pool of blood.
Reaction – Fear and anger – they want revenge
Horror Situation – Character loses it (hysterical) General’s son loses it, firing off his entire clip, endangering team.
Reaction – team members disarm him but now have to guard him for his own good. No one is happy about this.

Midpoint: The monster is worse than we thought!
• Full pursuit by the killer
They must fight their way room by room, the creature always attacking.
Horror situation – spooky situation – A flame thrower causes the sprinkler system to go off, and emergency lighting is all that’s left for them to navigate.
Monster Reveal: Fire hurts the monster.
Reaction – group become rattled, hard to see the monster coming.
Horror Situation – Character loses it – General’s son makes a run for it and throws himself into a room and locks the door
Monster Reveal: The monster stretches itself flat against the ceiling. It shows its shape shifting talent as it stretches its mouth to fully envelope its victim.
Reaction – The monster drops from the ceiling and kills the General’s son.
Character Death 4 – Webster – General’s Son
Why: panics, undisciplined
How: Creature is part of a ceiling, falls onto Webster devouring him.
• Terrorized
Horror Situation – Transforms into something else – The group tries to secure their area, but the creature keeps attacking. Their weapons don’t seem to hurt it.
Monster Reveal: They realize it is now bullet proof. It adapts.

Act 3 – Full Out Horror
• Fight to the death
The group is attacked nonstop. One soldier throws a knife and wounds the creature.
Monster Reveal: Adapts to every attack.
Horror Situation – transforms – the creature evolves able to throw bone fragments like knives at the soldiers.
Reaction – One bone fragment kills one of the women.
Character Death 5 – Mia – Female Hispanic soldier.
Why: Gets in the way of an attack by the monster.
How: Creature evolves and throws a bone fragment that impales Mia.
Horror Situation – character loses it – seeing her partner killed, the other woman goes ballistic and attacks the monster.
Monster Reveal: If bullets won’t kill it, try a grenade.
Reaction – In close quarters, she throws a grenade and manages to wound the thing but is killed. The entire platoon attacks the wounded creature, their weapons tearing the thing apart. Their relief is short changed.
Character Death 6 – Zuri – Female Black soldier
Why: Reacts to Mia’s death – her lover and attacks the monster.
How: When the monster grabs her, she pulls the pin on a grenade. She is killed and wounds the monster.
Monster Reveal: The monster is making copies of itself.
Character Death 7 – Vincent reappears and we find out that he created these monsters – he sees himself as their father and believes they will listen to him.
Why: underestimates the creatures loyalty.
How: Vincent approaches the creature to comfort it, but it pulls him in for a hug and crushes him until his body bursts.
• Death returns to take one or more.
Horror situation – Out of the frying pan and into the fire – A second creature appears and kills another soldier. They realize that there are others. The fighting resumes and the last of the soldiers are cut down, but the second creature dies. Only our hero and the teen are left.
Character Death 8 – Barrett
Why: The tough German is dangerous to the monster and has caused a lot of damage
How: Barrett attacks with a AA-12 (Auto Assault – 12) with high explosive armor-piercing (HEAP) and high explosive fragmenting antipersonnel (HEFA) and the monster retaliates with bone spears. Both are killed.
• Resolution
Horror situation – Working with someone, then they become the evil one – The teen reveals that he too is one of the monsters.
Reaction – and kills off our hero.
Character Death 8 – Archer
Why: He’s the last of the team
How: Tyler exposes that he is one of the monsters, and attacks Archer with his jaws.
Survivor
• Teen – Tyler Dundas – Scientist’s kid – saw his father killed
• He’s one of the monsters
• Theme – messing with unknown technology can end up killing all of us.
We cut to a scene to an observation room where a scientist and a general witness the entire fight. The General likes what he has seen and orders the experiment to proceed to the next phase. The Chinese will never know what hit them.

• This reply was modified 4 months ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Assignment #8 Character Journey Track
What I learned by doing this assignment…?
I found that I had an easy reference of the characters and how they would react when outlining my story.
Character Info: Tyler – Scientist’s son – Father was the first scientist killed, right in front of his son.
Denial: Can’t believe his father is dead
Reaction at first horror: stunned – freezes
Relationship to group after first horror: pleads for protection
How they fight back: He doesn’t, although he does get angry with time
End point: He’s been one of the monsters from the start – possibly already dead and replicated by the monsters to have a secret weapon within the group.
What insights do their deaths or survival bring to audience: shock, disbelief.

Role: The innocent needing protection
Traits: Fearful, grieving
Fears: Being killed by monsters
Wants/Needs: someone to get him safe
Likability: Good kid
How they react under stress: terrified, then angry
Relationship to other characters: looking for help.

Character Info: Vincent – Corporate Scientist – He plans on going with the team as he is most familiar with the monsters.
Denial: He is the one that tells the team that they cannot win against the monsters without his help.
Reaction at first horror: He disappears
Relationship to group after first horror: They believe that he ran and left them to fend for themselves.
How they fight back: He wants to protect his creations.
End point: He is killed by his “children.”
What insights do their deaths or survival bring to audience: Serves him right.

Role: Guide
Traits: Know-it-all
Fears: That his creation will be destroyed
Wants/Needs: Protect his creations
Likability: Arrogant
How they react under stress: cools, decisive
Relationship to other characters: looks down on soldiers

Character Info: Webster – General’s son
Denial: has been told he does not deserves to be part of the group.
Reaction at first horror: Freezes
Relationship to group after first horror: proved that he can’t cut it.
How they fight back: runs
End point: Dies in a storage room he fled too.
What insights do their deaths or survival bring to audience: Told you so.

Role: weakest link
Traits: arrogant, spoilt
Fears: failing daddy
Wants/Needs: to prove himself with as little effort as possible
Likability: asshole
How they react under stress: panics
Relationship to other characters: despises him

Character Info: Mia – Hispanic
Denial: told by scientist that they have no hope
Reaction at first horror: holds and fights
Relationship to group after first horror: comrades
How they fight back: as trained
End point: dies from a bone splinter
What insights do their deaths or survival bring to the audience: her lover, Zuri goes ballistic, others sadden.

Role: soldier
Traits: Brave, tough
Fears: nothing
Wants/Needs: complete mission
Likability: everyone likes her.
How they react under stress: attacks
Relationship to other characters: Comrade to other soldiers, Love interest to Zuri

Character Info: Zuri – Black Female soldier
Denial: told by scientist that they have no hope
Reaction at first horror: holds and fights
Relationship to group after first horror: comrades
How they fight back: as trained
End point: Dies by grenade in retaliation of Mia’s death
What insights do their deaths or survival bring to audience: sadden

Role: soldier
Traits: tough and brave
Fears: nothing
Wants/Needs: finish the mission
Likability: everyone likes and respects her, except Barrett because he doesn’t want women in the army
How they react under stress: as trained
Relationship to other characters: comrades to other soldiers – love interest to Mia

Character Info: Barrett – Germanic Tank
Denial: Scientist said they would never survive monsters.
Reaction at first horror: attacks
Relationship to group after first horror: pissed off
How they fight back: aggressively
End point: Dies by impalement but kills the last of the monsters
What insights do their deaths or survival bring to audience: tough as nails

Role: solider
Traits: aggressive, sexist, killing machine
Fears: nothing
Wants/Needs: to win
Likability: grudgingly
How they react under stress: attacks
Relationship to other characters: mixed

Character Info: Archer – 2nd in command
Denial: scientist told him he could not overcome monsters
Reaction at first horror: attacks,
Relationship to group after first horror: saddened at leaders’ death, determined to protect him people.
How they fight back: as trained
End point: Dies at the hands of Tyler – who is a monster
What insights do their deaths or survival bring to audience: shock

Role: leader
Traits: brave, calm, protective
Fears: losing his people
Wants/Needs: to complete mission, keep people safe
Likability:
How they react under stress: as trained
Relationship to other characters: trusted

• This reply was modified 4 months ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

Wickenden Assignment #4 Creating your Plot
What I learned from doing this assignment… was breaking down the timeline of the plot
Act 1 – Set up for Horror
• Atmosphere of Evil established
Scientists working in a lab are confronted by a specimen that tears them apart, leaving them dead.
• Connect with the characters
Meet Team Bravo, Heavy Reactionary group. A group of hardcore men and women, all professional soldiers, some
• The characters are warned not to do it.
The head scientist warns them that if any of the specimens escaped, it would be suicide for them to enter, but government agent refuses to stand down. Nothing can stop his group.
• Denial of Horror
Leader of Team Bravo tells the scientist that nothing can defeat his team.
• Safety taken away
As the team enters the building, another specimen escapes from its holding room, attacks and the building’s shut down procedure initiates, locking them within the facility. The creature is wounded. One man is taken. They find a teenager, terrified and wide-eyed.
• Monster: The nature of the beast.
They find the missing man, he is hanging from the ceiling, his skin stripped from his body. During the next attack, they realize the monster has evolved and its skin resembles Kevlar, making their bullets next to useless.

Act 2 – The Point of No Return
• Isolated / Trapped / Abducted
The team realizes that they are trapped within the building and the locks are in place for 25 hours.
• One of us killed
While the group is attacked, one of their numbers is unknowingly taken. They are helpless as they hear him screaming down the corridor.
Midpoint: The monster is worse than we thought!
• Full pursuit by the killer
They must fight their way room by room, the creature always attacking. A flame thrower causes the sprinkler system to go off, and emergency lighting is all that’s left for them to navigate.
• Terrorized
The group tries to secure their area, but the creature keeps attacking. Their weapons don’t seem to hurt it.
Act 3 – Full Out Horror
• Fight to the death
The group is attacked nonstop. When one soldier throws a knife and wounds the creature, the creature evolves able to throw bone fragments like knives at the soldiers. One bone fragment kills one of the women.
• Hysteria
Her partner goes ballistic and attacks the monster. In close quarters, she throws a grenade and manages to wound the thing.
• The thrilling escape from death
The entire platoon attacks the wounded creature, their weapons tearing the thing apart. Their relief is short changed.

• Death returns to take one or more.
A second creature appears, and they realize that there are others. The fighting resumes and the last of the soldiers are cut down, but the second creature dies. Only our hero and the teen are left.
• Resolution
The teen reveals that he too is one of the monsters and kills off our hero.
We cut to a scene to an observation room where a scientist and a general witness the entire fight. The General likes what he has seen and orders the experiment to proceed to the next phase.

• This reply was modified 4 months ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

Assignment #3 Characters for Horror

What I learned doing this assignment is…?

This assignment helps settle the characters into roles that actually helps create a beginning map of the story.

The Dying Pattern A Put 6-8 characters together and kill them off one by one.

I have a group of professional soldiers and one civilian

Leader: military leader due his experience.

Out of control/ carrier: this guy is a psychopath that opens fire first and asks questions once the dust settles. He causes the conflict.

Complainer: Always bitching and complaining. Scared shitless unless he has his buddies with him; then he’s a barnyard rooster.

Lovers: Two lesbian soldiers—tough as nails—trying to prove they are equal to the men.

Moral One: Good soldier but only kills when he has to. Protective of the others.

Innocence: A teen they find in the lab, scared out of his mind.

2 monster bait

[David Wickenden]

Assignment #2 Crafting your Monster

What did I learn from this assignment…?

This assignment creates boundaries for the monster to work within.

Their Terror: It either kills you or absorbs your body for energy.

Their Mystery: If it is not killed outright, it will evolve to either protect itself or use a similar weapon to attack you.

Their Fear Provoking Appearance: These monsters have been created as biological weapons and have never been seen by anyone before

Their Rules: You’ve invaded their territory, so they will continue to attack while you are seen as a threat. However, you are trapped within the facility.

Their Mythology: None

[David Wickenden]

Assignment 1Horror Concepts

What I learned doing this assignment is…?

By breaking down the components, it’s easy to create a concept.

I chose to watch 1408 which was based off a Stephen King short story staring John Cuzack and Samual L. Jackson.

Title / Concept: 1408 A writer trying to escape the death of his daughter travels the country writing about haunted hotels and is very cynical, having encountered nothing remotely supernatural, until he arrives at the Dolphin Hotel in New York.
Terrorize The Characters: The entity moves thing within the room to either hurt the hero or scare him. As things escalate, it alters man’s perspective and creates alternate realities.
Isolation: He is locked within a hotel room.
Death: The entity is trying to drive the man crazy so that he will kill himself.
Monster/Villain: The monster is never seen. We only see it’s actions.
High Tension: Right from the beginning, the hotel manager tries everything to stop the hero from entering the room. There is a ticking clock as no one has lasted a full hour without dying. The entity uses a clock radio to show the countdown.
Departure from Reality: Things move on their own. Radio works even when unplugged. His dead daughter appears before him. The room is destroyed with him in it.
Moral Statement: Grief and bad memories are not always a bad thing.
I enjoyed this story, because it had you guessing the whole time. It was one man’s fight with his grief and himself. John Cuzack’s acting was fantastic.

My Story

Concept: A team of military privateers breaks into a covert bio-weapons lab, only to find themselves hunted by genetically engineered creatures that can adapt to their tactics and weapons.
Terrorize The Characters: Life and death fight.
Isolation: The group is trapped in a top-secret lab with multiple monsters created by the scientists.
Death: Death by impalement, fire, being eaten, torn into pieces.
Monster/Villain: genetically bio-weapons.
High Tension: jump scare, full out action, horrible deaths, creatures getting stronger.
Departure from Reality: Dealing with unseen before monsters.
Moral Statement: Looks can be deceiving. Never underestimate your opponent.

[David Wickenden]

1) David Wickenden
2) I agree to the terms of this release form.

[David Wickenden]

Hi everyone. I’m David. I’m a Canadian writer with 7 published novels under my belt. I have adapted about 5 of them to either features or TV pilots. Nothing sold yet, but I haven’t given up yet. I don’t know how weird it is but I spent 31 years running into burning buildings while others ran out. Wish I could help with the fires in California. A friend of mine lost his house. He is a writer as well.

[David Wickenden]

Assignment #9 Start Act 3
David Wickenden
Vision: I become a writer that the industry respects and wants to work with and it offers me challenges that helps me to continue to grow and be successful.
“What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”
Persaverance
• State: I am completely willing…
• Activity: …to ignore unwarranted criticism.

Real life commitments have strangled me for weeks now. I’m finally finding myself with time to continue.

• This reply was modified 9 months ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

“I, David Wickenden, agree to the terms of this release form.”

• This reply was modified 10 months, 3 weeks ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Completed Act 2
Vision: I become a writer that the industry respects and wants to work with and it offers me challenges that helps me to continue to grow and be successful.
“What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”
• State: It really is possible…
• Activity: …to have control of my creative processes.
I’m moving forward slowly. Real life keeps getting in the way, however, I try to find a few minutes each day to keep moving the bar.

• This reply was modified 11 months ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Continuing Act 2
Vision: I become a writer that the industry respects and wants to work with and it offers me challenges that helps me to continue to grow and be successful.
“What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”
Just follow the outline.
• State: I’m completely capable of…
• Activity: …writing without wordsmithing!
Still plugging away.

• This reply was modified 11 months ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Begin Act 2
Vision: I become a writer that the industry respects and wants to work with and it offers me challenges that helps me to continue to grow and be successful.
“What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”
Trust in your outline.
• State: It is so much fun…
• Activity: …to race with a timer!
I’ve used timers for writing sprints for years. Great tool. Not only does it motivate you but it also gives you a break so you don’t burn out.

• This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

Assignment #5
David Wickenden Finish up Act 1
Vision: I become a writer that the industry respects and wants to work with and it offers me challenges that helps me to continue to grow and be successful.
“What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”
I can do this!
• State: I’m completely empowered…
• Activity: …to write this draft very quickly!
Act 1 is complete. Moving onward.

• This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Continue Act 1. Next 6 – 10 pages
Vision: I become a writer that the industry respects and wants to work with and it offers me challenges that helps me to continue to grow and be successful.
“What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”
Doesn’t have to be perfect.
• State: I truly enjoy…
• Activity: …writing a high speed first draft!
The story is moving along at a good pace. We have ghosts!

• This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Act 1 First Draft Part 1
Vision: I become a writer that the industry respects and wants to work with and it offers me challenges that helps me to continue to grow and be successful.
“What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”
• State: I absolutely love…
• Activity: …writing this first draft!
Having written a lot of novels and screenplays, I find that I already use many of the strategies for High Speed Writing Rules. What makes the biggest difference is having an outline. I have never used one before Hal had introduced it in the Action Movies course and again in this course. This has allowed me to literally fly through the pages.

• This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

Hi guys, I’m done with my critiques/feedback. Luck.

Hi everyone.
I have a Horror/Thriller titled The Witch's Legacy.
Concept: What if a family inherits a mansion tied to an ancient cult, discovering they are the sacrificial heirs, as supernatural forces tied to accused witches from the 1700s are unleashed?
If you are interested in exchanging scripts for feedback drop me a line at wickendendave@gmail.com
Of course, it'll be first come, first served.
Thanks Dave

• This reply was modified 11 months, 3 weeks ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden – Fascinating Scenes Outline
Assignment #10 – Fascinating Scenes
Vision: I become a writer that the industry respects and wants to work with and it offers me challenges that helps me to continue to grow and be successful.
“What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”
By playing with the interest techniques, you can really turn the story on its head.
• State: I love discovering…
• Activity: …interesting ways to write scenes through Interest Techniques!

Act 1: Magic is Scary
1. INT. BASEMENT OF HOME – NIGHT
• Scene Arc – A child, Eliza, experiments with magic alone in the basement. The magic gets away from her and her mother disappears through a magical portal.
• Essence – Eliza accidentally sends her mother to a different dimension.
• Conflict – The magic is too strong for Eliza to control.
• Subtext – She is not suppose to be playing with magic.
• Hope/fear – She’ll create something wonderful/the magic will hurt her.

• Beginning: Mystery
• Middle: Surprise
• Ending: Uncertainty

SETUP 1 & 4: Eliza PJ 1: A child, (Eliza Blackwood), is playing with magic. Her mother enters the room, and the magic gets away from Eliza and her mother is flung into a different realm.
2. INT/EXT – CAR – DAY
• Scene Arc – The Blackwood children are driving to an estate that they have inherited.
• Essence – Introduction of the characters and their world.
• Conflict – Eliza is at odds with anything that cannot be explained through logic or facts.
• Subtext – Gabriel and Lenore are annoyed with Eliza’s negativity.
• Hope/fear – Hope they can get along/Fear that this might cause them to separate the siblings.

• Beginning: More interesting setting
• Middle: Character changes radically
• Ending: Uncomfortable Moment

Eliza PJ 2: Years later, Eliza, her sister Elenor, and brother, Gabriel, journey to an ancient family estate that they have inherited.
Character Action: Eliza refuses to believe in magic and become hostile and argumentative with her siblings.
Emotional Dilemma:
• Moment: Eliza’s hostility towards her siblings.
• How it plays out: Eliza’s refusal to believe in magic causes friction with her siblings, especially when they express their fears and concerns. Her aggressive skepticism creates tension, leaving her siblings feeling isolated and misunderstood. This sets up Eliza’s internal conflict and the emotional distance she must overcome.
3. INT. BLACKWOOD MANSION – DAY
• Scene Arc – They are attacked by ghosts and rescued by Silas, the caretaker.
• Essence – First encounter with the ghosts.
• Conflict – physical attack
• Subtext – Silas is not who he appears to be.
• Hope/fear – that the siblings will be safe/that the siblings might get hurt or die.

• Beginning: Major Twist
• Middle: Surprise
• Ending: Uncertainty

SETUP 3: Inciting Incident: The siblings enter the mansion, only to be attacked by a swarm of ghosts.
Character Action: Eliza is dumbfounded when she witnesses the ghosts and Silas attacking each other using magic.
1. Surprise:
• Moment: Eliza witnesses ghosts for the first time.
• How it plays out: After entering the mansion, Eliza and her siblings are attacked by a swarm of ghosts. Eliza, who has been staunchly denying the existence of magic, is paralyzed with shock as she sees the spectral entities. This moment shatters her skepticism and sets the stage for her journey into the supernatural.
Silas AJ 1: Silas and his followers appear and help the siblings fight back against the ghosts.
Bonding:
• Moment: Silas helps the siblings fend off the ghosts.
• How it plays out: In the midst of the ghost attack, Silas and his followers arrive and use their magic to protect the siblings. As Silas reassures them, claiming his family has always protected the Blackwoods, a moment of bonding occurs. The siblings feel a sense of gratitude and trust towards Silas, unaware of his true intentions.
Distress:
• Moment: Memories of her mother’s disappearance resurface.
• How it plays out: After the ghost attack, the siblings discuss their past and the inheritance. Eliza’s siblings mention their mother’s mysterious disappearance, triggering distressing flashbacks for Eliza. She is visibly shaken, though she tries to hide it, hinting at deeper trauma and unresolved issues.
Character Action: Silas uses his charm to disarm the siblings all the while setting them up to be sacrificed.
SETUP 2: Silas AJ2: Silas promises to protect the siblings, as his family has always protected the Blackwood family.
Deeper Layer: Silas is not truthful, but is after the power of the ghosts, which were witches murdered in the 1700s by his ancestors.
Turning Point: The Blackwoods agree to help the cult, unaware of the true depth of Silas’s plans and the prophecy involving their bloodline.
4. INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
• Scene Arc – Elenor asleep. Ghost appears and puts a finger to Elenor’s head and Elenor has a nightmare.
• Essence – Elenor’s nightmare.
• Conflict – Fear
• Subtext – None.
• Hope/fear – Fear of a dream

• Beginning: Intrigue
• Middle: Reveal
• Ending: Cliffhanger

EXT. DREAM – NIGHT
• Scene Arc – We watch as women are burnt at the stake for witchery.
• Essence – A nightmare reveals how women were burned
• Conflict – Fear and hatred for the witches.
• Subtext – They weren’t killed out of fear of evil, but for their powers.
• Hope/fear – That this is a bad dream and nothing else/That this is real.

• Beginning: Mystery
• Middle: Misleading/Reveal
• Ending: Betrayal

Act 2: Searching the past.
Elenor has a vivid nightmare that shows women being burned at the stake. She reveals seeing a large book with an eye on its cover.
5. INT. LIBRARY – DAY
• Scene Arc – The siblings search the library for the book
• Essence – Search for the book
• Conflict – Eliza fights herself over the fact that the ghosts were real.
• Subtext – there is more to Eliza’s fear than meets the eye.
• Hope/fear – the book will have answers/that there is no book.

• Beginning: Mystery
• Middle: Internal Dilemma
• Ending: Uncertainty

The book reveals itself through Eliza.
6. INT- HALLWAY – DAY
• Scene Arc – Eliza follows a floating candle down a hallway to a set of stairs.
• Essence – Eliza is led through the house.
• Conflict – Fear
• Subtext –
• Hope/fear – it reals something/it doesn’t get Eliza killed.

• Beginning: Surprise
• Middle: Internal Dilemma
• Ending: Intrigue

7. INT – STAIRWELL – DAY
8. INT – THIRD FLOOR LOOKOUT ROOM – DAY
• Scene Arc – The candle leads Eliza to a sitting room where she finds the book.
• Essence – Eliza finds the book.
• Conflict – fear.
• Subtext – something is happening that we cannot explain.
• Hope/fear – is the guide being helpful/is the guide bringing Eliza to her doom.

• Beginning: Intrigue
• Middle: Reveal
• Ending: Mystery
9. EXT. LIBRARY _ DAY
• Scene Arc – Eliza explains what she has found to her siblings. Then Margeret reveals Eliza’s role in the disappearance of their mother.
• Essence – Eliza reveals the family history.
• Conflict – The Hawthorns are the enemy, not the ghosts.
• Subtext – they realize their true enemy.
• Hope/fear – they can win/they can lose.

• Beginning: Internal Dilemma
• Middle: Uncomfortable Moment
• Ending: Character changes radically

Eliza PJ 4: Eliza reads the book and sees that it is the history of their family. She reads to learn more.
Excitement:
• Moment: Discovering the family’s magical history.
• How it plays out: Gabriel finds the book with the eye on its cover, and Eliza reads it, uncovering their family’s history. The excitement of piecing together their ancestry and understanding their connection to magic energizes the siblings, fostering a sense of unity and purpose.
REVEAL 3: Deeper Layer: The women were witches and were killed in 1700s. They were of the Blackwood family, killed by the Hawthorne’s who wanted their powers. A ghost, Margaret Blackwood, appears and confirms what Eliza has learned.
Eliza PJ 5: She learns that magic is part of the family legacy, but she refused to accept this.
Major reveal 1: Margaret reveals Eliza’s tampering with magic as a child caught Eliza’s mother and that she has suppressed the memories. Upon hearing of this, the memories overcome Eliza, but she realizes that she has the power of magic.
Trigger their Wounds:
• Moment: Eliza’s suppressed memories come to light.
• How it plays out: As Margaret Blackwood’s ghost reveals the truth about Eliza’s childhood tampering with magic, suppressed memories of her mother’s disappearance flood back. Eliza is overwhelmed with guilt and grief, realizing her role in her mother’s fate. This emotional wound drives her determination to master magic and set things right.

Character Action: Eliza puts aside her disbelief in magic and begins to learn.
Courage:
• Moment: Eliza decides to learn magic.
• How it plays out: Despite her fear and disbelief, Eliza resolves to embrace her magical heritage to protect her siblings. She begins to study the spells and rituals, showing courage and determination. This marks a significant shift in her character, as she starts to accept her power and responsibility.
10. INT. CAVERN – DAY
• Scene Arc – Silas learns that the Blackwood children are aware of his plans. He makes plans to capture Gabriel.
• Essence – Silas is revealed and sets up plans to capture Gabriel.
• Conflict – Silas vs the Blackwood family.
• Subtext – revealed
• Hope/fear – the Blackwood family can overcome/that Silas will win.

• Beginning: Major Twist
• Middle: Betrayal
• Ending: Cliffhanger

Character Action: Silas reveals he true nature.
REVEAL 2: Silas AJ 3: Silas puts plans into place to grab Gabriel as a sacrifice in the coming ceremony to gain supernatural powers.
Betrayal:
• Moment: Silas reveals his true nature.
• How it plays out: Silas’s façade of protection crumbles as he reveals his plan to sacrifice Gabriel for his own gain. The siblings feel a deep sense of betrayal, realizing they have been manipulated. This betrayal fuels their resolve to fight against Silas and protect each other.
Act 3: Fast learner
11. INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT
• Scene Arc – Eliza works at learning enough magic to protect herself and her siblings against Silas.
• Essence – Skill learning.
• Conflict – overcoming her previous bias.
• Subtext – fear of failure.
• Hope/fear – She is becoming powerful/will she be powerful enough?

• Beginning: Internal Dilemma
• Middle: Suspense
• Ending: Uncertainty

Eliza PJ 6: Using the book, and with the help of the ghost, Eliza familiarizes herself with magic, but does not trust in herself.
EXT. GARDEN MORNING
• Scene Arc – Eliza challenged Silas and he immediately attacks her. She doesn’t do a blood sacrifice and she’s defeated and forced to flee.
• Essence – Eliza takes on Silas and loses.
• Conflict – Magic fight Eliza vs Silas.
• Subtext – Good vs evil.
• Hope/fear – She can win/she loses.

• Beginning: Betrayal
• Middle: Reveal
• Ending: Uncertainty

She also does not offer a blood sacrifice. This allows Silas to overcome her.
Distress:
• Moment: Eliza’s initial failure with magic.
• How it plays out: Eliza attempts to confront Silas with newly learned spells but fails because she does not offer a blood sacrifice. Silas’s attack forces her to flee, leaving her feeling inadequate and desperate. This failure amplifies her doubts and fear of losing her siblings.
Character Action: Silas attacks and when he is unable to finish Eliza, he escapes in a rage.
Character Action: Eliza attempts to confront Silas with magic, but fails.
Character Action: Silas doesn’t give up. Moves on to the next sibling.
12. INT. GABRIEL’S BEDROOM – MORNING
• Scene Arc – Knowing his secret is out, Silas makes the bold move and captures Gabriel.
• Essence – Silas grabs a hostage.
• Conflict – Captive.
• Subtext – Gabriel doesn’t know Silas has attacked his sister.
• Hope/fear – Gabriel can get free/Silas will sacrifice Gabriel.

• Beginning: Suspense
• Middle: Character changes radically
• Ending: Cliffhanger

Silas AJ 4: Silas and his members grab Gabriel.
Sacrifice:
• Moment: Silas captures Gabriel.
• How it plays out: Silas and his followers overpower Gabriel and take him captive for the upcoming sacrifice. Eliza and Elenor’s desperation and fear for their brother’s life heighten the stakes, pushing Eliza to further embrace her magical abilities.
13. INT/EXT – ESTATE – DAY
• Scene Arc – Eliza and Elenor search for Gabriel throughout the estate. When they separate to cover more ground, Elenor is captured.
• Essence – Search for Gabriel gets Elenor captured.
• Conflict – hunting for Gabriel.
• Subtext – Is he dead?
• Hope/fear – Will they find him/Is he dead already?

• Beginning: Suspense
• Middle: Misinterpretation
• Ending: Surprise

Eliza PJ 7: With Elenor, Eliza searches for her brother.
Silas AJ 5: When the sisters get separated, Silas grabs Elenor.
14. INT. UPPER READING ROOM – DAY
• Scene Arc – In the upper reading room, Eliza spies two cult members dragging Elenor away. She’s alone
• Essence – Eliza is alone.
• Conflict – They have both Gabriel and Elenor
• Subtext – Will Silas sacrifice both of them?
• Hope/fear – She is alive/Is she dead?

• Beginning: External Dilemma
• Middle: Uncomfortable Moment
• Ending: Major Twist

Eliza AJ 5: Realizing that she is alone, Eliza becomes determined to fight back.
Courage:
• Moment: Eliza’s resolve to fight back.
• How it plays out: Realizing that she must save her siblings alone, Eliza steels herself for the final confrontation. She pushes past her fear and doubt, determined to harness her magic to defeat Silas. This moment of courage solidifies her transformation from skeptic to protector.
15. EXT. KILLING GROUND – NIGHT
• Scene Arc – With the Ghosts on her side, Eliza takes the fight to Silas to save her siblings. She preforms the blood sacrifice and it gives her the power to beat the cult. When he tries to kill Gabriel, Eliza draws more power and a portal opens up revealing her mother who shares the combined power of the dead witches that allows Eliza to throw Silas into an alternate dimension.
• Essence – The climax
• Conflict – Final Battle between good and evil.
• Subtext – NONE
• Hope/fear – That Eliza will win/That she might fail.

• Beginning: Character changes radically
• Middle: Cliffhanger
• Ending: Intrigue

Act 4: The Battle
Silas AJ 6: As the clock approaches midnight, Silas and the cult gather to sacrifice the two captured siblings.
Character Action: Silas shows his ruthlessness as he plans on sacrificing the siblings to further his quest for power.
Character Action: Eliza does everything she can to gain the power to defeat Silas and rescue her siblings.
Eliza PJ 6: Eliza at Margaret’s urging, cuts herself so that the blood is spilt and offered for the power she needs.
Emotional Dilemma:
• Moment: Choosing to spill her own blood.
• How it plays out: Eliza faces a moral dilemma when she realizes that to gain enough power to fight Silas, she must offer her own blood. The decision to harm herself for the greater good is a poignant moment, highlighting her selflessness and dedication to her family.
Excitement:
• Moment: Eliza gains the power of her ancestors.
• How it plays out: With her blood offered, Eliza feels an immense surge of power as the ghosts of her ancestors lend her their strength. This exhilarating moment boosts her confidence and prepares her for the final battle against Silas.
Eliza PJ 7: Eliza, with the help of the ghosts, attack the cult members. She is not strong enough and watches in horror as Silas raises the knife to kill her brother.
Silas AJ 7: Silas is at the finish line, ready to gain all the supernatural power for himself.
Distress:
• Moment: Silas prepares to sacrifice Gabriel.
• How it plays out: As Silas stands ready to kill Gabriel, Eliza watches in horror, feeling helpless and desperate. This moment of intense distress underscores the high stakes and the urgency of her mission.
Character Action: Eliza refuses to give up and fights Silas with all her might.
Reveal 4: Turning point: As Eliza reaches for more power, a portal opens up. Through the portal, her mother appears and feeds her the combined power of the witches.
Surprise:
• Moment: The portal opens and Eliza’s mother appears.
• How it plays out: Just as all seems lost, a portal opens, and Eliza’s mother reaches through, transferring the combined power of the witches to Eliza. This surprising and emotional reunion empowers Eliza and provides the strength needed to defeat Silas.
Eliza PJ 8: Eliza, with the added power, uses it to fling Silas into another void, before he can sacrifice her brother. She easily finishes off the other cult members. SETUP 5: As she relaxes, the portal with her mother closes her mother off from her.
Success/Winning:
• Moment: Eliza defeats Silas and frees the ghosts.
• How it plays out: With the added power, Eliza flings Silas into a void and defeats the cult members. The ghosts, including Margaret, express gratitude and move on to the afterlife. The victory is bittersweet as Eliza realizes her mother is still trapped in another realm, but she is now empowered and ready to rescue her. The siblings embrace, their bond stronger than ever, and their powers awakened.
By incorporating these emotional moments, the screenplay will create a powerful and engaging narrative that deeply resonates with the audience, enhancing the horror/thriller elements with rich, character-driven drama.
Character Action: Silas refuses to accept defeat and vows to return.
Reveal: Having gained the witch’s power into herself and broken the curse, Margaret and the other ghosts are free to enter the afterlife and disappear after a tearful farewell.
Character Action: Eliza, now empowered, prepares to move forward to rescue her mother. She is unstoppable.
REVEAL 5: Resolution: Eliza rescues her siblings. As they embrace, the powers flow through all three of them, awaking the latent powers. Eliza tells them that knowing that their mother is still alive somewhere in a different realm, they must work towards rescuing her.

• This reply was modified 12 months ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden – Scene Requirements
Vision: I become a writer that the industry respects and wants to work with and it offers me challenges that helps me to continue to grow and be successful.
“What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”
This actually helps split the script into chewable sections with a clear goal for each.
State: I have so much fun…
Activity: …creating scene requirements for my outline!

Act 1: Magic is Scary
INT. BASEMENT OF HOME – NIGHT
• Scene Arc – A child, Eliza, experiments with magic alone in the basement. The magic gets away from her and her mother disappears through a magical portal.
• Essence – Eliza accidentally sends her mother to a different dimension.
• Conflict – The magic is too strong for Eliza to control.
• Subtext – She is not suppose to be playing with magic.
• Hope/fear – She’ll create something wonderful/the magic will hurt her.

SETUP 1 & 4: Eliza PJ 1: A child, (Eliza Blackwood), is playing with magic. Her mother enters the room, and the magic gets away from Eliza and her mother is flung into a different realm.
INT/EXT – CAR – DAY
• Scene Arc – The Blackwood children are driving to an estate that they have inherited.
• Essence – Introduction of the characters and their world.
• Conflict – Eliza is at odds with anything that cannot be explained through logic or facts.
• Subtext – Gabriel and Lenore are annoyed with Eliza’s negativity.
• Hope/fear – Hope they can get along/Fear that this might cause them to separate the siblings.

Eliza PJ 2: Years later, Eliza, her sister Elenor, and brother, Gabriel, journey to an ancient family estate that they have inherited.
Character Action: Eliza refuses to believe in magic and become hostile and argumentative with her siblings.
Emotional Dilemma:
• Moment: Eliza’s hostility towards her siblings.
• How it plays out: Eliza’s refusal to believe in magic causes friction with her siblings, especially when they express their fears and concerns. Her aggressive skepticism creates tension, leaving her siblings feeling isolated and misunderstood. This sets up Eliza’s internal conflict and the emotional distance she must overcome.
INT. BLACKWOOD MANSION – DAY
• Scene Arc – They are attacked by ghosts and rescued by Silas, the caretaker.
• Essence – First encounter with the ghosts.
• Conflict – physical attack
• Subtext – Silas is not who he appears to be.
• Hope/fear – that the siblings will be safe/that the siblings might get hurt or die.

SETUP 3: Inciting Incident: The siblings enter the mansion, only to be attacked by a swarm of ghosts.
Character Action: Eliza is dumbfounded when she witnesses the ghosts and Silas attacking each other using magic.
1. Surprise:
• Moment: Eliza witnesses ghosts for the first time.
• How it plays out: After entering the mansion, Eliza and her siblings are attacked by a swarm of ghosts. Eliza, who has been staunchly denying the existence of magic, is paralyzed with shock as she sees the spectral entities. This moment shatters her skepticism and sets the stage for her journey into the supernatural.
Silas AJ 1: Silas and his followers appear and help the siblings fight back against the ghosts.
Bonding:
• Moment: Silas helps the siblings fend off the ghosts.
• How it plays out: In the midst of the ghost attack, Silas and his followers arrive and use their magic to protect the siblings. As Silas reassures them, claiming his family has always protected the Blackwoods, a moment of bonding occurs. The siblings feel a sense of gratitude and trust towards Silas, unaware of his true intentions.
Distress:
• Moment: Memories of her mother’s disappearance resurface.
• How it plays out: After the ghost attack, the siblings discuss their past and the inheritance. Eliza’s siblings mention their mother’s mysterious disappearance, triggering distressing flashbacks for Eliza. She is visibly shaken, though she tries to hide it, hinting at deeper trauma and unresolved issues.
Character Action: Silas uses his charm to disarm the siblings all the while setting them up to be sacrificed.
SETUP 2: Silas AJ2: Silas promises to protect the siblings, as his family has always protected the Blackwood family.
Deeper Layer: Silas is not truthful, but is after the power of the ghosts, which were witches murdered in the 1700s by his ancestors.
Turning Point: The Blackwoods agree to help the cult, unaware of the true depth of Silas’s plans and the prophecy involving their bloodline.
INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
• Scene Arc – Elenor has a nightmare.
• Essence – Elenor’s nightmare.
• Conflict – Fear
• Subtext – None.
• Hope/fear – Fear of a dream
EXT. DREAM – NIGHT
• Scene Arc – We watch as women are burnt at the stake for witchery.
• Essence – A nightmare reveals how women were burned
• Conflict – Fear and hatred for the witches.
• Subtext – They weren’t killed out of fear of evil, but for their powers.
• Hope/fear – That this is a bad dream and nothing else/That this is real.

Act 2: Searching the past.
Elenor has a vivid nightmare that shows women being burned at the stake. She reveals seeing a large book with an eye on its cover.
INT. LIBRARY – DAY
• Scene Arc – The siblings search the library for the book
• Essence – Search for the book
• Conflict – Eliza fights herself over the fact that the ghosts were real.
• Subtext – there is more to Eliza’s fear than meets the eye.
• Hope/fear – the book will have answers/that there is no book.

The book reveals itself through Eliza.
INT- HALLWAY – DAY
• Scene Arc – Eliza follows a floating candle down a hallway to a set of stairs.
• Essence – Eliza is led through the house.
• Conflict – Fear
• Subtext –
• Hope/fear – it reals something/it doesn’t get Eliza killed.
INT – STAIRWELL – DAY
INT – THIRD FLOOR LOOKOUT ROOM – DAY
• Scene Arc – The candle leads Eliza to a sitting room where she finds the book.
• Essence – Eliza finds the book.
• Conflict – fear.
• Subtext – something is happening that we cannot explain.
• Hope/fear – is the guide being helpful/is the guide bringing Eliza to her doom.
EXT. LIBRARY _ DAY
• Scene Arc – Eliza explains what she has found to her siblings. Then Margeret reveals Eliza’s role in the disappearance of their mother.
• Essence – Eliza reveals the family history.
• Conflict – The Hawthorns are the enemy, not the ghosts.
• Subtext – they realize their true enemy.
• Hope/fear – they can win/they can lose.

Eliza PJ 4: Eliza reads the book and sees that it is the history of their family. She reads to learn more.
Excitement:
• Moment: Discovering the family’s magical history.
• How it plays out: Gabriel finds the book with the eye on its cover, and Eliza reads it, uncovering their family’s history. The excitement of piecing together their ancestry and understanding their connection to magic energizes the siblings, fostering a sense of unity and purpose.
REVEAL 3: Deeper Layer: The women were witches and were killed in 1700s. They were of the Blackwood family, killed by the Hawthorne’s who wanted their powers. A ghost, Margaret Blackwood, appears and confirms what Eliza has learned.
Eliza PJ 5: She learns that magic is part of the family legacy, but she refused to accept this.
Major reveal 1: Margaret reveals Eliza’s tampering with magic as a child caught Eliza’s mother and that she has suppressed the memories. Upon hearing of this, the memories overcome Eliza, but she realizes that she has the power of magic.
Trigger their Wounds:
• Moment: Eliza’s suppressed memories come to light.
• How it plays out: As Margaret Blackwood’s ghost reveals the truth about Eliza’s childhood tampering with magic, suppressed memories of her mother’s disappearance flood back. Eliza is overwhelmed with guilt and grief, realizing her role in her mother’s fate. This emotional wound drives her determination to master magic and set things right.

Character Action: Eliza puts aside her disbelief in magic and begins to learn.
Courage:
• Moment: Eliza decides to learn magic.
• How it plays out: Despite her fear and disbelief, Eliza resolves to embrace her magical heritage to protect her siblings. She begins to study the spells and rituals, showing courage and determination. This marks a significant shift in her character, as she starts to accept her power and responsibility.
INT. CAVERN – DAY
• Scene Arc – Silas learns that the Blackwood children are aware of his plans. He makes plans to capture Gabriel.
• Essence – Silas is revealed and sets up plans to capture Gabriel.
• Conflict – Silas vs the Blackwood family.
• Subtext – revealed
• Hope/fear – the Blackwood family can overcome/that Silas will win

Character Action: Silas reveals he true nature.
REVEAL 2: Silas AJ 3: Silas puts plans into place to grab Gabriel as a sacrifice in the coming ceremony to gain supernatural powers.
Betrayal:
• Moment: Silas reveals his true nature.
• How it plays out: Silas’s façade of protection crumbles as he reveals his plan to sacrifice Gabriel for his own gain. The siblings feel a deep sense of betrayal, realizing they have been manipulated. This betrayal fuels their resolve to fight against Silas and protect each other.
Act 3: Fast learner
INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT
• Scene Arc – Eliza works at learning enough magic to protect herself and her siblings against Silas.
• Essence – Skill learning.
• Conflict – overcoming her previous bias.
• Subtext – fear of failure.
• Hope/fear – She is becoming powerful/will she be powerful enough?

Eliza PJ 6: Using the book, and with the help of the ghost, Eliza familiarizes herself with magic, but does not trust in herself.
EXT. GARDEN MORNING
• Scene Arc – Eliza challenged Silas and he immediately attacks her. She doesn’t do a blood sacrifice and she’s defeated and forced to flee.
• Essence – Eliza takes on Silas and loses.
• Conflict – Magic fight Eliza vs Silas.
• Subtext – Good vs evil.
• Hope/fear – She can win/she loses.

She also does not offer a blood sacrifice. This allows Silas to overcome her.
Distress:
• Moment: Eliza’s initial failure with magic.
• How it plays out: Eliza attempts to confront Silas with newly learned spells but fails because she does not offer a blood sacrifice. Silas’s attack forces her to flee, leaving her feeling inadequate and desperate. This failure amplifies her doubts and fear of losing her siblings.
Character Action: Silas attacks and when he is unable to finish Eliza, he escapes in a rage.
Character Action: Eliza attempts to confront Silas with magic, but fails.
Character Action: Silas doesn’t give up. Moves on to the next sibling.
INT. GABRIEL’S BEDROOM – MORNING
• Scene Arc – Knowing his secret is out, Silas makes the bold move and captures Gabriel.
• Essence – Silas grabs a hostage.
• Conflict – Captive.
• Subtext – Gabriel doesn’t know Silas has attacked his sister.
• Hope/fear – Gabriel can get free/Silas will sacrifice Gabriel.

Silas AJ 4: Silas and his members grab Gabriel.
Sacrifice:
• Moment: Silas captures Gabriel.
• How it plays out: Silas and his followers overpower Gabriel and take him captive for the upcoming sacrifice. Eliza and Elenor’s desperation and fear for their brother’s life heighten the stakes, pushing Eliza to further embrace her magical abilities.
INT/EXT – ESTATE – DAY
• Scene Arc – Eliza and Elenor search for Gabriel throughout the estate. When they separate to cover more ground, Elenor is captured.
• Essence – Search for Gabriel gets Elenor captured.
• Conflict – hunting for Gabriel.
• Subtext – Is he dead?
• Hope/fear – Will they find him/Is he dead already?

Eliza PJ 7: With Elenor, Eliza searches for her brother.
Silas AJ 5: When the sisters get separated, Silas grabs Elenor.
INT. UPPER READING ROOM – DAY
• Scene Arc – In the upper reading room, Eliza spies two cult members dragging Elenor away. She’s alone
• Essence – Eliza is alone.
• Conflict – They have both Gabriel and Elenor
• Subtext – Will Silas sacrifice both of them?
• Hope/fear – She is alive/Is she dead?

Eliza AJ 5: Realizing that she is alone, Eliza becomes determined to fight back.
Courage:
• Moment: Eliza’s resolve to fight back.
• How it plays out: Realizing that she must save her siblings alone, Eliza steels herself for the final confrontation. She pushes past her fear and doubt, determined to harness her magic to defeat Silas. This moment of courage solidifies her transformation from skeptic to protector.
EXT. KILLING GROUND – NIGHT
• Scene Arc – With the Ghosts on her side, Eliza takes the fight to Silas to save her siblings. She preforms the blood sacrifice and it gives her the power to beat the cult. When he tries to kill Gabriel, Eliza draws more power and a portal opens up revealing her mother who shares the combined power of the dead witches that allows Eliza to throw Silas into an alternate dimension.
• Essence – The climax
• Conflict – Final Battle between good and evil.
• Subtext – NONE
• Hope/fear – That Eliza will win/That she might fail.

Act 4: The Battle
Silas AJ 6: As the clock approaches midnight, Silas and the cult gather to sacrifice the two captured siblings.
Character Action: Silas shows his ruthlessness as he plans on sacrificing the siblings to further his quest for power.
Character Action: Eliza does everything she can to gain the power to defeat Silas and rescue her siblings.
Eliza PJ 6: Eliza at Margaret’s urging, cuts herself so that the blood is spilt and offered for the power she needs.
Emotional Dilemma:
• Moment: Choosing to spill her own blood.
• How it plays out: Eliza faces a moral dilemma when she realizes that to gain enough power to fight Silas, she must offer her own blood. The decision to harm herself for the greater good is a poignant moment, highlighting her selflessness and dedication to her family.
Excitement:
• Moment: Eliza gains the power of her ancestors.
• How it plays out: With her blood offered, Eliza feels an immense surge of power as the ghosts of her ancestors lend her their strength. This exhilarating moment boosts her confidence and prepares her for the final battle against Silas.
Eliza PJ 7: Eliza, with the help of the ghosts, attack the cult members. She is not strong enough and watches in horror as Silas raises the knife to kill her brother.
Silas AJ 7: Silas is at the finish line, ready to gain all the supernatural power for himself.
Distress:
• Moment: Silas prepares to sacrifice Gabriel.
• How it plays out: As Silas stands ready to kill Gabriel, Eliza watches in horror, feeling helpless and desperate. This moment of intense distress underscores the high stakes and the urgency of her mission.
Character Action: Eliza refuses to give up and fights Silas with all her might.
Reveal 4: Turning point: As Eliza reaches for more power, a portal opens up. Through the portal, her mother appears and feeds her the combined power of the witches.
Surprise:
• Moment: The portal opens and Eliza’s mother appears.
• How it plays out: Just as all seems lost, a portal opens, and Eliza’s mother reaches through, transferring the combined power of the witches to Eliza. This surprising and emotional reunion empowers Eliza and provides the strength needed to defeat Silas.
Eliza PJ 8: Eliza, with the added power, uses it to fling Silas into another void, before he can sacrifice her brother. She easily finishes off the other cult members. SETUP 5: As she relaxes, the portal with her mother closes her mother off from her.
Success/Winning:
• Moment: Eliza defeats Silas and frees the ghosts.
• How it plays out: With the added power, Eliza flings Silas into a void and defeats the cult members. The ghosts, including Margaret, express gratitude and move on to the afterlife. The victory is bittersweet as Eliza realizes her mother is still trapped in another realm, but she is now empowered and ready to rescue her. The siblings embrace, their bond stronger than ever, and their powers awakened.
By incorporating these emotional moments, the screenplay will create a powerful and engaging narrative that deeply resonates with the audience, enhancing the horror/thriller elements with rich, character-driven drama.
Character Action: Silas refuses to accept defeat and vows to return.
Reveal: Having gained the witch’s power into herself and broken the curse, Margaret and the other ghosts are free to enter the afterlife and disappear after a tearful farewell.
Character Action: Eliza, now empowered, prepares to move forward to rescue her mother. She is unstoppable.
REVEAL 5: Resolution: Eliza rescues her siblings. As they embrace, the powers flow through all three of them, awaking the latent powers. Eliza tells them that knowing that their mother is still alive somewhere in a different realm, they must work towards rescuing her.

• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden – Intriguing Moments
Assignment #8 – Intriguing Moments
“What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”
Intrigue has the audience engaged.
State: I am great at…
Activity: …discovering and creating intriguing moments!
2. Give us a one sentence explanation of the intriguing moments in each Act of your project. Like the example above.
• Intrigue – What happened to the witches 300 years ago?
• Secret – Eliza had a part in her mother’s disappearance, but has blocked this from her memory.
• Covert agenda – Silas is not who he says he is.
• Hidden identity – Eliza has an affinity for magic, but refuses to give it any credence.
• Conspiracy – Silas needs to sacrifice a Blackwood to gain the magic of the dead witches.
• Scheme – Silas pretends to protect the Blackwood siblings only so he can kill one for a power grab.
• Superior position – The audience knows that Silas is up to no good.
• Cover up – None of the Blackwood children are aware that the ghosts were murdered witches from their family and had been killed by Silas’s ancestors.
• Mystery – Why are the ghosts haunting the estate?
AI INPUT
Act 1: Magic is Scary
1. Intrigue: Eliza's Mysterious Past
• Moment: Eliza's recurring dreams of her childhood.
• How it plays out: Eliza experiences vivid dreams of her mother disappearing into a different realm, which she cannot fully remember. These dreams hint at her suppressed magical abilities and set up the mystery of her mother's disappearance. The audience is left wondering about the connection between Eliza's past and the present events.
2. Secret: Silas’s True Intentions
• Moment: Silas and his followers arrive to help the siblings.
• How it plays out: Silas and his followers arrive just in time to fend off the ghosts, appearing as saviors. However, in subtle interactions and glances, Silas’s true sinister intentions are hinted at, creating a sense of unease and suspicion for the audience while the siblings are still oblivious.
3. Covert Agenda: The Cult's Hidden Rituals
• Moment: Silas subtly gathers information about the siblings.
• How it plays out: As Silas and his cult members integrate themselves with the siblings, they covertly ask probing questions about the siblings' knowledge of their family history and any magical abilities. These seemingly innocent inquiries are actually part of Silas’s plan to prepare for the sacrificial ritual.
4. Superior Position: The Audience Learns About the Prophecy
• Moment: Flashbacks to the 1700s show the witches' prophecy.
• How it plays out: Through a series of flashbacks interwoven with the present-day story, the audience learns about the witches' prophecy involving the Blackwood bloodline and the cult's quest for power. This creates dramatic irony, as the audience knows the siblings are in danger long before they realize it themselves.
Act 2: Searching the Past
1. Mystery: The Book of Secrets
• Moment: Gabriel finds the book with an eye on its cover.
• How it plays out: Gabriel discovers a hidden compartment in the mansion containing a book with an eye on the cover. This book contains detailed histories of the Blackwood family and their connection to magic. The book itself is mysterious and hints at deeper, hidden knowledge waiting to be uncovered.
2. Secret: Eliza's Hidden Power
• Moment: Eliza starts having visions and flashbacks.
• How it plays out: As Eliza reads the book, she starts experiencing visions and flashbacks of her childhood, revealing her suppressed magical abilities and the moment her mother was taken. These revelations are initially kept secret from her siblings, adding to the tension and mystery of her character's journey.
3. Covert Agenda: Silas's Manipulation
• Moment: Silas feigns interest in helping Eliza learn magic.
• How it plays out: Silas offers to help Eliza learn more about magic, but his true goal is to ensure she remains unaware of his plans to use her brother Gabriel in the ritual. He subtly guides her away from the most critical information while gaining her trust, creating an intricate web of deception.
4. Conspiracy: The Hawthorne Legacy
• Moment: Discovery of the witches’ murder by the Hawthorne family.
• How it plays out: The siblings uncover documents and letters revealing that the Hawthorne family, ancestors of Silas, were responsible for the murder of the Blackwood witches in the 1700s. This historical conspiracy sheds light on Silas’s motives and his family's dark past, deepening the plot's complexity.
Act 3: Fast Learner
1. Scheme: Silas's Plan to Capture Gabriel
• Moment: Silas orchestrates a diversion.
• How it plays out: Silas creates a diversion to separate Gabriel from Eliza and Elenor, orchestrating a series of events that lead to Gabriel’s capture. This calculated scheme reveals Silas's cunning and strategic mind, keeping the audience on edge about what he will do next.
2. Cover-Up: Eliza’s Failed Attempt at Magic
• Moment: Eliza's initial failure.
• How it plays out: Eliza tries to use magic against Silas but fails due to her lack of confidence and experience. To cover up her failure and protect her siblings' morale, she hides her doubts and continues to project confidence, adding layers to her character's internal struggle.
3. Hidden Identity: Gabriel's Hidden Potential
• Moment: Gabriel shows signs of latent magical ability.
• How it plays out: During a moment of high stress, Gabriel inadvertently displays a burst of magical power, hinting at his own untapped potential. This revelation is kept hidden from the cult and Silas, creating a new layer of intrigue about Gabriel’s role in the unfolding events.
4. Superior Position: The Audience Knows Silas’s Ritual Timing
• Moment: Flashbacks to Silas preparing the ritual.
• How it plays out: The audience sees flashbacks of Silas preparing for the sacrificial ritual, including precise details about the timing and requirements. This knowledge heightens the suspense, as the audience knows the exact time the siblings are running out of to stop the ritual.
Act 4: The Battle
1. Intrigue: The Final Ritual’s True Nature
• Moment: The true purpose of the ritual is revealed.
• How it plays out: As Silas prepares to sacrifice Gabriel, the true nature of the ritual is revealed. It’s not just about power for Silas but about resurrecting an even more malevolent force. This revelation adds a final, terrifying twist to the story.
2. Cover-Up: Eliza’s Strategic Use of Magic
• Moment: Eliza uses her blood to gain power.
• How it plays out: Eliza cuts herself and uses her blood to gain the witches’ power, but she keeps the full extent of her newfound abilities hidden until the final moment. This strategic cover-up allows her to surprise Silas and the cult during the climax.
3. Conspiracy: The Cult Members' True Allegiances
• Moment: Some cult members turn against Silas.
• How it plays out: In the final battle, it is revealed that not all cult members are loyal to Silas. Some have their own agendas and secretly plan to overthrow him. This internal conspiracy within the cult adds an additional layer of complexity to the climax.
4. Mystery: The Portal and Eliza’s Mother
• Moment: The portal opens, revealing Eliza’s mother.
• How it plays out: As Eliza fights Silas, a portal opens, and her mother appears, providing Eliza with the combined power of the witches. The mystery of how and why her mother was in the other realm is partially revealed, leaving some questions unanswered but providing a crucial turning point in the battle.
These intriguing moments will enhance the complexity and depth of your screenplay, keeping the audience engaged and on the edge of their seats as the story unfolds.

• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Depth – Emotional Moments
Assignment #6
Vision: I become a writer that the industry respects and wants to work with and it offers me challenges that helps me to continue to grow and be successful.
“What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”

State: I absolutely love…
Activity: …Causing my audience to feel emotional.
Act 1
Wonder: A child is playing with magic and its breathtaking.
Wound: The child is responsible for her own mother to be lost.
Distress/surprise: As the siblings arrive at the mansion, ghost, attacked them. The scene is terrifying.
Bonding: They are saved by Silas, who explains that his family has always watched over the estate.

Act 2
Excitement: They are learning about the past and what actually happened to the witches. When Margaret appears and confirms these facts, they learn more.
Emotional Dilemma: Eliza wants to deny the existence of magic, but Margaret explains that her mother disappeared because of Eliza’s tampering with magic as a child.
Trigger their wounds: Accepting responsibility for her mother’s disappearance forces Eliza to learn magic to deal with the cult’s threat.
Betrayal: They learn what Silas is really after and must plan to fight back.

Act 3
Courage: Eliza takes a stand against Silas, but her power has not grown enough to thwart him.
Distress: Silas captures Gabriel and then Elenor, leaving Eliza alone.
Sacrifice: Eliza offers her own blood to gain the strength of blood magic. This gives her the power to fight Silas to save her siblings.

Act 4
Courage: Eliza attacks Silas and the cult with her stronger blood magic.
Surprise: Reaching for more power, Eliza opens a portal, and her mother appears to offer Eliza the combined power of the dead witches.
Success/Winning: Eliza beat Silas and the remaining cult members. Her success is marred by the loss of her mother once again.
Love: With her siblings safe, they can together work to find and bring back their mother from the dimension she is trapped in.

AI INPUT
Act 1: Magic is Scary
1. Surprise:
• Moment: Eliza witnesses ghosts for the first time.
• How it plays out: After entering the mansion, Eliza and her siblings are attacked by a swarm of ghosts. Eliza, who has been staunchly denying the existence of magic, is paralyzed with shock as she sees the spectral entities. This moment shatters her skepticism and sets the stage for her journey into the supernatural.
2. Bonding:
• Moment: Silas helps the siblings fend off the ghosts.
• How it plays out: In the midst of the ghost attack, Silas and his followers arrive and use their magic to protect the siblings. As Silas reassures them, claiming his family has always protected the Blackwoods, a moment of bonding occurs. The siblings feel a sense of gratitude and trust towards Silas, unaware of his true intentions.
3. Emotional Dilemma:
• Moment: Eliza’s hostility towards her siblings.
• How it plays out: Eliza’s refusal to believe in magic causes friction with her siblings, especially when they express their fears and concerns. Her aggressive skepticism creates tension, leaving her siblings feeling isolated and misunderstood. This sets up Eliza’s internal conflict and the emotional distance she must overcome.
4. Distress:
• Moment: Memories of her mother’s disappearance resurface.
• How it plays out: After the ghost attack, the siblings discuss their past and the inheritance. Eliza’s siblings mention their mother’s mysterious disappearance, triggering distressing flashbacks for Eliza. She is visibly shaken, though she tries to hide it, hinting at deeper trauma and unresolved issues.
Act 2: Searching the Past
1. Excitement:
• Moment: Discovering the family’s magical history.
• How it plays out: Gabriel finds the book with the eye on its cover, and Eliza reads it, uncovering their family’s history. The excitement of piecing together their ancestry and understanding their connection to magic energizes the siblings, fostering a sense of unity and purpose.
2. Trigger their Wounds:
• Moment: Eliza’s suppressed memories come to light.
• How it plays out: As Margaret Blackwood’s ghost reveals the truth about Eliza’s childhood tampering with magic, suppressed memories of her mother’s disappearance flood back. Eliza is overwhelmed with guilt and grief, realizing her role in her mother’s fate. This emotional wound drives her determination to master magic and set things right.
3. Courage:
• Moment: Eliza decides to learn magic.
• How it plays out: Despite her fear and disbelief, Eliza resolves to embrace her magical heritage to protect her siblings. She begins to study the spells and rituals, showing courage and determination. This marks a significant shift in her character, as she starts to accept her power and responsibility.
4. Betrayal:
• Moment: Silas reveals his true nature.
• How it plays out: Silas’s façade of protection crumbles as he reveals his plan to sacrifice Gabriel for his own gain. The siblings feel a deep sense of betrayal, realizing they have been manipulated. This betrayal fuels their resolve to fight against Silas and protect each other.
Act 3: Fast Learner
1. Distress:
• Moment: Eliza’s initial failure with magic.
• How it plays out: Eliza attempts to confront Silas with newly learned spells but fails because she does not offer a blood sacrifice. Silas’s attack forces her to flee, leaving her feeling inadequate and desperate. This failure amplifies her doubts and fear of losing her siblings.
2. Sacrifice:
• Moment: Silas captures Gabriel.
• How it plays out: Silas and his followers overpower Gabriel and take him captive for the upcoming sacrifice. Eliza and Elenor’s desperation and fear for their brother’s life heighten the stakes, pushing Eliza to further embrace her magical abilities.
3. Courage:
• Moment: Eliza’s resolve to fight back.
• How it plays out: Realizing that she must save her siblings alone, Eliza steels herself for the final confrontation. She pushes past her fear and doubt, determined to harness her magic to defeat Silas. This moment of courage solidifies her transformation from skeptic to protector.
4. Emotional Dilemma:
• Moment: Choosing to spill her own blood.
• How it plays out: Eliza faces a moral dilemma when she realizes that to gain enough power to fight Silas, she must offer her own blood. The decision to harm herself for the greater good is a poignant moment, highlighting her selflessness and dedication to her family.
Act 4: The Battle
1. Excitement:
• Moment: Eliza gains the power of her ancestors.
• How it plays out: With her blood offered, Eliza feels an immense surge of power as the ghosts of her ancestors lend her their strength. This exhilarating moment boosts her confidence and prepares her for the final battle against Silas.
2. Distress:
• Moment: Silas prepares to sacrifice Gabriel.
• How it plays out: As Silas stands ready to kill Gabriel, Eliza watches in horror, feeling helpless and desperate. This moment of intense distress underscores the high stakes and the urgency of her mission.
3. Surprise:
• Moment: The portal opens and Eliza’s mother appears.
• How it plays out: Just as all seems lost, a portal opens, and Eliza’s mother reaches through, transferring the combined power of the witches to Eliza. This surprising and emotional reunion empowers Eliza and provides the strength needed to defeat Silas.
4. Success/Winning:
• Moment: Eliza defeats Silas and frees the ghosts.
• How it plays out: With the added power, Eliza flings Silas into a void and defeats the cult members. The ghosts, including Margaret, express gratitude and move on to the afterlife. The victory is bittersweet as Eliza realizes her mother is still trapped in another realm, but she is now empowered and ready to rescue her. The siblings embrace, their bond stronger than ever, and their powers awakened.
By incorporating these emotional moments, the screenplay will create a powerful and engaging narrative that deeply resonates with the audience, enhancing the horror/thriller elements with rich, character-driven drama.

• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden What to reveal and when.
Assignment #6
Vision: I become a writer that the industry respects and wants to work with and it offers me challenges that helps me to continue to grow and be successful.
“What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”
Great reveals creates an emotional experience for the audience.
• State: I am great at…
• Activity: …discovering cool reveals!

Act 1: Magic is Scary
SETUP 1 & 4: Eliza PJ 1: A child, (Eliza Blackwood), is playing with magic. Her mother enters the room, and the magic gets away from Eliza and her mother is flung into a different realm.
Eliza PJ 2: Years later, Eliza, her sister Elenor, and brother, Gabriel, journey to an ancient family estate that they have inherited.
Character Action: Eliza refuses to believe in magic and become hostile and argumentative with her siblings.
SETUP 3: Inciting Incident: The siblings enter the mansion, only to be attacked by a swarm of ghosts.
Character Action: Eliza is dumbfounded when she witnesses the ghosts and Silas attacking each other using magic.
Silas AJ 1: Silas and his followers appear and help the siblings fight back against the ghosts.
Character Action: Silas uses his charm to disarm the siblings all the while setting them up to be sacrificed.
SETUP 2: Silas AJ2: Silas promises to protect the siblings, as his family has always protected the Blackwood family.
Deeper Layer: Silas is not truthful, but is after the power of the ghosts, which were witches murdered in the 1700s by his ancestors.
Turning Point: The Blackwoods agree to help the cult, unaware of the true depth of Silas’s plans and the prophecy involving their bloodline.

Act 2: Searching the past.
Elenor has a vivid nightmare that shows women being burned at the stake. She reveals seeing a large book with an eye on its cover.
Gabriel finds the book.
Eliza PJ 4: Eliza reads the book and sees that it is the history of their family. She reads to learn more.
REVEAL 3: Deeper Layer: The women were witches and were killed in 1700s. They were of the Blackwood family, killed by the Hawthorne’s who wanted their powers. A ghost, Margaret Blackwood, appears and confirms what Eliza has learned.
Eliza PJ 5: She learns that magic is part of the family legacy, but she refused to accept this.
Major reveal 1: Margaret reveals Eliza’s tampering with magic as a child caught Eliza’s mother and that she has suppressed the memories. Upon hearing of this, the memories overcome Eliza, but she realizes that she has the power of magic.
Character Action: Eliza puts aside her disbelief in magic and begins to learn.
Character Action: Silas reveals he true nature.
REVEAL 2: Silas AJ 3: Silas puts plans into place to grab Gabriel as a sacrifice in the coming ceremony to gain supernatural powers.

Act 3: Fast learner
Eliza PJ 6: Using the book, and with the help of the ghost, Eliza familiarizes herself with magic, but does not trust in herself. She also does not offer a blood sacrifice. This allows Silas to overcome her.
Character Action: Silas attacks and when he is unable to finish Eliza, her escapes in a rage.
Character Action: Eliza attempts to confront Silas with magic, but fails.
Character Action: Silas doesn’t give up. Moves on to the next sibling.
Silas AJ 4: Silas and his members grab Gabriel.
Eliza PJ 7: With Elenor, Eliza searches for her brother.
Silas AJ 5: When the sisters get separated, Silas grabs Elenor.
Eliza AJ 5: Realizing that she is alone, Eliza becomes determined to fight back.

Act 4: The Battle
Silas AJ 6: As the clock approaches midnight, Silas and the cult gather to sacrifice the two captured siblings.
Character Action: Silas shows his ruthlessness as he plans on sacrificing the siblings to further his quest for power.
Character Action: Eliza does everything she can to gain the power to defeat Silas and rescue her siblings.
Eliza PJ 6: Eliza at Margaret’s urging, cuts herself so that the blood is spilt and offered for the power she needs.
Eliza PJ 7: Eliza, with the help of the ghosts, attack the cult members. She is not strong enough and watches in horror as Silas raises the knife to kill her brother.
Silas AJ 7: Silas is at the finish line, ready to gain all the supernatural power for himself.
Character Action: Eliza refuses to give up and fights Silas with all her might.
Reveal 4: Turning point: As Eliza reaches for more power, a portal opens up. Through the portal, her mother appears and feeds her the combined power of the witches.
Eliza PJ 8: Eliza, with the added power, uses it to fling Silas into another void, before he can sacrifice her brother. She easily finishes off the other cult members. SETUP 5: As she relaxes, the portal with her mother closes her mother off from her.
Character Action: Silas refuses to accept defeat and vows to return.
Reveal: Having gained the witch’s power into herself and broken the curse, Margaret and the other ghosts are free to enter the afterlife and disappear after a tearful farewell.
Character Action: Eliza, now empowered, prepares to move forward to rescue her mother. She is unstoppable.
REVEAL 5: Resolution: Eliza rescues her siblings. As they embrace, the powers flow through all three of them, awaking the latent powers. Eliza tells them that knowing that their mother is still alive somewhere in a different realm, they must work towards rescuing her.

• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Character Action Tracks
Assignment #5
Vision: I become a writer that the industry respects and wants to work with and it offers me challenges that helps me to continue to grow and be successful.
“What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”
Action makes the actors more attractive.
State: I am great at…
Activity: …creating interesting action for my characters.

Act 1: Magic is Scary
Eliza PJ 1: A child, (Eliza Blackwood), is playing with magic. Her mother enters the room, and the magic gets away from Eliza and her mother is flung into a different realm.
Eliza PJ 2: Years later, Eliza, her sister Elenor, and brother, Gabriel, journey to an ancient family estate that they have inherited.
Character Action: Eliza refuses to believe in magic and become hostile and argumentative with her siblings.
Inciting Incident: The siblings enter the mansion, only to be attacked by a swarm of ghosts.
Character Action: Eliza is dumbfounded when she witnesses the ghosts and Silas attacking each other using magic.
Silas AJ 1: Silas and his followers appear and help the siblings fight back against the ghosts.
Character Action: Silas uses his charm to disarm the siblings all the while setting them up to be sacrificed.
Silas AJ2: Silas promises to protect the siblings, as his family has always protected the Blackwood family.
Deeper Layer: Silas is not truthful, but is after the power of the ghosts, which were witches murdered in the 1700s by his ancestors.
Turning Point: The Blackwoods agree to help the cult, unaware of the true depth of Silas’s plans and the prophecy involving their bloodline.

Act 2: Searching the past.
Elenor has a vivid nightmare that shows women being burned at the stake. She reveals seeing a large book with an eye on its cover.
Gabriel finds the book.
Eliza PJ 4: Eliza reads the book and sees that it is the history of their family. She reads to learn more.
Deeper Layer: The women were witches and were killed in 1700s. They were of the Blackwood family, killed by the Hawthorne’s who wanted their powers. A ghost, Margaret Blackwood, appears and confirms what Eliza has learned.
Eliza PJ 5: She learns that magic is part of the family legacy, but she refused to accept this.
Major reveal: Margaret reveals Eliza’s tampering with magic as a child caught Eliza’s mother and that she has suppressed the memories. Upon hearing of this, the memories overcome Eliza, but she realizes that she has the power of magic.
Character Action: Eliza puts aside her disbelief in magic and begins to learn.
Character Action: Silas reveals he true nature.
Silas AJ 3: Silas puts plans into place to grab Gabriel as a sacrifice in the coming ceremony to gain supernatural powers.

Act 3: Fast learner
Eliza PJ 6: Using the book, and with the help of the ghost, Eliza familiarizes herself with magic, but does not trust in herself. She also does not offer a blood sacrifice. This allows Silas to overcome her.
Character Action: Silas attacks and when he is unable to finish Eliza, her escapes in a rage.
Character Action: Eliza attempts to confront Silas with magic, but fails.
Character Action: Silas doesn’t give up. Moves on to the next sibling.
Silas AJ 4: Silas and his members grab Gabriel.
Eliza PJ 7: With Elenor, Eliza searches for her brother.
Silas AJ 5: When the sisters get separated, Silas grabs Elenor.
Eliza AJ 5: Realizing that she is alone, Eliza becomes determined to fight back.

Act 4: The Battle
Silas AJ 6: As the clock approaches midnight, Silas and the cult gather to sacrifice the two captured siblings.
Character Action: Silas shows his ruthlessness as he plans on sacrificing the siblings to further his quest for power.
Character Action: Eliza does everything she can to gain the power to defeat Silas and rescue her siblings.
Eliza PJ 6: Eliza at Margaret’s urging, cuts herself so that the blood is spilt and offered for the power she needs.
Eliza PJ 7: Eliza, with the help of the ghosts, attack the cult members. She is not strong enough and watches in horror as Silas raises the knife to kill her brother.
Silas AJ 7: Silas is at the finish line, ready to gain all the supernatural power for himself.
Character Action: Eliza refuses to give up and fights Silas with all her might.
Turning point: As Eliza reaches for more power, a portal opens up. Through the portal, her mother appears and feeds her the combined power of the witches.
Eliza PJ 8: Eliza, with the added power, uses it to fling Silas into another void, before he can sacrifice her brother. She easily finishes off the other cult members. As she relaxes, the portal with her mother closes her mother off from her.
Character Action: Silas refuses to accept defeat and vows to return.
Reveal: Having gained the witch’s power into herself and broken the curse, Margaret and the other ghosts are free to enter the afterlife and disappear after a tearful farewell.
Character Action: Eliza, now empowered, prepares to move forward to rescue her mother. She is unstoppable.
Resolution: Eliza rescues her siblings. As they embrace, the powers flow through all three of them, awaking the latent powers. Eliza tells them that knowing that their mother is still alive somewhere in a different realm, they must work towards rescuing her.

• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden New Online Beats
Assignment #4 New Online Beats
Vision: I become a writer that the industry respects and wants to work with and it offers me challenges that helps me to continue to grow and be successful.
“What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”
• State: I am absolutely capable…
• Activity: …plotting my story!

Act 1: Magic is Scary
• Eliza PJ 1: A child, (Eliza Blackwood), is playing with magic. Her mother enters the room, and the magic gets away from Eliza and her mother is flung into a different realm.
• Eliza PJ 2: Years later, Eliza, her sister Elenor, and brother, Gabriel, journey to an ancient family estate that they have inherited.
• Inciting Incident: The siblings enter the mansion, only to be attacked by a swarm of ghosts.
• Silas AJ 1: Silas and his followers appear and help the siblings fight back against the ghosts.
• Silas AJ2: Silas promises to protect the siblings, as his family has always protected the Blackwood family.
• Deeper Layer: Silas is not truthful, but is after the power of the ghosts, which were witches murdered in the 1700s by his ancestors.
• Turning Point: The Blackwoods agree to help the cult, unaware of the true depth of Silas’s plans and the prophecy involving their bloodline.

Act 2: Searching the past.
• Elenor has a vivid nightmare that shows women being burned at the stake. She reveals seeing a large book with an eye on its cover.
• Gabriel finds the book.
• Eliza PJ 4: Eliza reads the book and sees that it is the history of their family. She reads to learn more.
• Deeper Layer: The women were witches and were killed in 1700s. They were of the Blackwood family, killed by the Hawthorne’s who wanted their powers. A ghost, Margaret Blackwood, appears and confirms what Eliza has learned.
• Eliza PJ 5: She learns that magic is part of the family legacy, but she refused to accept this.
• Major reveal: Margaret reveals Eliza’s tampering with magic as a child caught Eliza’s mother and that she has suppressed the memories. Upon hearing of this, the memories overcome Eliza, but she realizes that she has the power of magic.
• Silas AJ 3: Silas puts plans into place to grab Gabriel as a sacrifice in the coming ceremony to gain supernatural powers.

Act 3: Fast learner
• Eliza PJ 6: Using the book, and with the help of the ghost, Eliza familiarizes herself with magic, but does not trust in herself. She also does not offer a blood sacrifice. This allows Silas to overcome her.
• Silas AJ 4: Silas and his members grab Gabriel.
• Eliza PJ 7: With Elenor, Eliza searches for her brother.
• Silas AJ 5: When the sisters get separated, Silas grabs Elenor.
• Eliza AJ 5: Realizing that she is alone, Eliza becomes determined to fight back.

Act 4: The Battle
• Silas AJ 6: As the clock approaches midnight, Silas and the cult gather to sacrifice the two captured siblings.
• Eliza PJ 6: Eliza at Margaret’s urging, cuts herself so that the blood is spilt and offered for the power she needs.
• Eliza PJ 7: Eliza, with the help of the ghosts, attack the cult members. She is not strong enough and watches in horror as Silas raises the knife to kill her brother.
• Silas AJ 7: Silas is at the finish line, ready to gain all the supernatural power for himself.
• Turning point: As Eliza reaches for more power, a portal opens up. Through the portal, her mother appears and feeds her the combined power of the witches.
• Eliza PJ 8: Eliza, with the added power, uses it to fling Silas into another void, before he can sacrifice her brother. She easily finishes off the other cult members. As she relaxes, the portal with her mother closes her mother off from her.
• Reveal: Having gained the witch’s power into herself and broken the curse, Margaret and the other ghosts are free to enter the afterlife and disappear after a tearful farewell.
• Resolution: Eliza rescues her siblings. As they embrace, the powers flow through all three of them, awaking the latent powers. Eliza tells them that knowing that their mother is still alive somewhere in a different realm, they must work towards rescuing her.

• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Beat Sheet – Draft 1
Vision: I become a writer that the industry respects and wants to work with and it offers me challenges that helps me to continue to grow and be successful.
“What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”
This is as easy as filling in the blanks.
• State: I am absolutely capable…
• Activity: …create a sequence of events for my Beat Sheet!
2. Starting with your 4-Act Structure, add the following components into your story to create the first draft of your Beat Sheet.
Act 1: Magic is Scary
Eliza PJ 1: A child, (Eliza Blackwood), is playing with magic. Her mother enters the room and the magic gets away from Eliza and her mother is flung into a different realm.
Eliza PJ 2: Years later, Eliza, her sister Elenor, and brother, Gabriel journey to an ancient family estate that they have inherited.
Inciting Incident: The siblings enter the mansion, only to be attacked by a swarm of ghosts.
Silas AJ 1: Silas and his followers appear and help the siblings fight back against the ghosts.
Silas AJ2 : Silas promises to protect the siblings as his family has always protected the Blackwood family.
Deeper Layer: Silas is not truthful, but is after the power of the ghosts, which were witches murdered in the 1700s.
Turning Point: The Blackwoods agree to help the cult, unaware of the true depth of Silas’s plans and the prophecy involving their bloodline.
Act 2: Searching the past
Elenor has a vivid nightmare that shows women being burned at the stake. She reveals seeing a large book with an eye on it’s cover.
Gabriel finds the book.
Eliza PJ 4: Eliza reads the book and sees that it the history of their family. She reads to learn more.
Deeper Layer: The women were witches and were killed in 1700s. They were of the Blackwood family, killed by the Hawthornes who wanted their powers.
Eliza PJ 5: She learns that magic is part of the family legacy, but she refused to accept this.
Major reveal: A ghost appears and reveals Eliza’s tampering with magic as a child caught that Eliza’s mother and that she has suppressed the memories. Upon hearing of this, the memories overcome Eliza, but she realizes that she has the power of magic.
Silas AJ 3: puts plans into place to grab Gabriel as a sacrifice in the coming ceremony to gain supernatural powers.
Act 3: Fast learner
Eliza PJ 6: Using the book with the help of the ghost, Eliza familiarizes herself with magic, but fails to trust in herself.
Silas AJ 4: Silas and his members grab Gabriel.
Eliza PJ 7: With Elenor, Eliza searches for her brother.
Silas AJ 5: When the sisters get separated, Silas grabs Elenor
Eliza AJ 5: Realizing that she is alone, Eliza becomes determined to fight back.
Act 4: The Battle
Silas AJ 6: As the clock approaches midnight, Silas and the cult gather to sacrifice the two captured siblings.
Eliza PJ 6: Eliza, with the help of the ghosts, attack the cult members. She is not strong enough and watches in horror as Silas raises the knife to kill her brother.
Silas AJ 7: Silas is at the finish line, ready to gain all the supernatural power for himself.
Turning point: As Eliza reaches for more power, a portal opens up. Through the portal, he mother appears and feeds her the combined power of the witches.
Eliza PJ 7: Eliza, with the added power, uses it to fling Silas into another void, before he can sacrifice her brother. She easily finishes off the other cult members. As she relaxes, the portal with her mother closes her mother off from her.
Reveal: Having gained the witch’s power into herself and broken the curse, the ghosts are free to enter the afterlife and disappear.
Resolution: Eliza rescues her siblings. As the embrace, the powers flow through all three of them, awaking the latent powers. Eliza tells them that knowing that their mother is still alive somewhere in a different realm, they must work towards rescuing her.

• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Character Journey Structure
Assignment #1 – Character Journey Structure
Vision: I become a writer that the industry respects and wants to work with and it offers me challenges that helps me to continue to grow and be successful.
“What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”
That both the antagonist and the protagonist have structured journeys.
State-To-Activity empowerment process.
• State: I am absolutely capable…
• Activity: …of creating great Character Structures.
Protagonist – Eliza Blackwood
• Beginning: As a child playing with magic, Eliza causes her mother to disappear into an unknown realm.
• Inciting Incident: Years later, Eliza and her siblings enter an ancient family estate that they have inherited.
• Turning Point 1: They are attacked by a group of ghosts who are pushed back by Silas Hawthorne and his people.
• Act 2: Eliza researches the history of the family to understand why the estate is haunted.
• Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: She finds that Silas’s ancestors had killed the Blackthorne witches during the 1700s in an attempt to steal their magic.
• Act 3: Hawthorne captures Eliza’s brother and sister and plans to sacrifice them in the ceremony at midnight.
• Turning Point 3: The ghosts convince Eliza to use her latent magic powers to defeat Silas and his cult with the help of the ghosts.
• Act 4 Climax: Massive fight ensues. Eliza’s magic, with the help of the ghost and the added power of Eliza’s mother wins the day.
• Resolution: The ghosts are freed from the curse and Eliza begins the hunt for her mother.

Antagonist – Silas Hawthorne
• Beginning: We don’t see this, but Silas has been plotting to sacrifice the blackwood children in an attempt to gain supernatural powers.
• Inciting Incident: Silas and his cult members appear when the ghosts are attacking Eliza and her family.
• Turning Point 1: He explains that his family has always been the Blackwood estate caretakers and has been fighting the evil ghosts of dead witches.
• Act 2:
• Turning Point 2 / Midpoint:
• Act 3:
• Turning Point 3: Eliza finds that Silas has kidnapped her brother and stops him from taking Elenor, Eliza’s sister.
• Act 4 Climax: Silas and his people try to sacrifice the Blackwood children in a ceremony that will gain him the powers of the dead witches.
• Resolution: He loses to Eliza and is pushed into a realm full of demons.

IA INPUT
Character Journey: Eliza Blackwood
Beginning
• Start: Eliza begins as a rational, skeptical individual who dismisses anything supernatural. She is protective of her siblings and harbors a deep-seated guilt over her mother's disappearance.
Turning Point
• Twist: The Blackwood siblings inherit the family estate and are attacked by ghosts. Silas and his cult intervene, and Eliza reluctantly agrees to help the cult in their battle against the supernatural forces.
Midpoint
• Twist: Eliza uncovers the shocking truth that the witches, who are now ghosts, are her ancestors who were brutally murdered by the same cult. This revelation changes her understanding of the conflict and her role in it.
Turning Point
• Twist: Eliza attempts to use ancient spells to protect her family but fails because the spells require her blood. Her brother is struck down, and her sister is sucked into a void, pushing Eliza to make a desperate choice.
Dilemma
• Conflict: Eliza faces the choice of embracing her supernatural legacy and using her blood to empower the spells, or continuing to deny her role in her mother's disappearance and risk losing her siblings.
Major Conflict
• Ultimate Conflict: Eliza offers her blood, gaining the power of her ancestors. She leads the final battle against Silas and the cult, using her newfound abilities to fight and defeat them.
Ending
• Changed World: Eliza triumphs over the cult and helps the ghosts move on to the afterlife. She resolves to embrace her supernatural heritage and vows to continue her search for her mother, accepting the responsibility and power that comes with her legacy.
________________________________________
Character Journey: Silas Hawthorne
Beginning
• Start: Silas is a charismatic and manipulative cult leader, seemingly dedicated to protecting the Blackwoods but secretly plotting to use them to gain power.
Turning Point
• Twist: After saving the Blackwood siblings from a ghost attack, Silas convinces them to join forces, hiding his true intentions and using their trust to further his own goals.
Midpoint
• Twist: Silas's facade begins to crack as Eliza discovers the truth about their ancestors. His plans are threatened, and he becomes more desperate to maintain control and achieve his power-hungry goals.
Turning Point
• Twist: Silas's scheme faces a major setback when Eliza refuses him entry to the estate and attempts to use the spells against him. He retaliates by striking down her brother and creating chaos, exposing his true nature.
Dilemma
• Conflict: Silas must choose between continuing his ruthless pursuit of power, risking complete failure, or retreating to preserve his influence over his remaining followers.
Major Conflict
• Ultimate Conflict: Silas engages in a final, desperate confrontation with Eliza, who now wields the power of her ancestors. His manipulations and deceptions are fully revealed, leading to his ultimate downfall.
Ending
• Changed World: Defeated by Eliza and the ghosts, Silas is either killed or banished from the realm of mortals. His cult disbands, and his quest for power ends in failure, leaving a legacy of destruction in his wake.
________________________________________
These character journeys align with the four-act structure of your horror/thriller screenplay, ensuring that both Eliza and Silas experience significant development and conflict throughout the story.

• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Deeper Layer
Assignment #2
Vision: I become a writer that the industry respects and wants to work with and it offers me challenges that helps me to continue to grow and be successful.
“What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”

• State: I am absolutely capable…
• Activity: …building in an engaging deeper layer!
2. As we did above with The Sixth Sense, create each piece of this “Deeper Layer” puzzle.
• Surface Layer: The siblings are being attacked by ghosts and Silas is there to help them.
• Deeper Layer: Silas is using the siblings and plans to sacrifice them to gain the powers of the dead witches.
• Major Reveal: Eliza’s research of the family’s past reveals that the witches had been murdered in the 1700 by Silas’s ancestors.
• Influences Surface Story: This causes her to distrust Silas. It also has her facing the truth of her powers and her missing mother.
• Hints: The ghost reveal what Eliza has repressed concerning her mother’s disappearance and her part in it.
• Changes Reality: The reveal of her own latent powers awakens in Eliza and gives her the tools to combat Silas and his cult.
3.
• Beginning: As a child playing with magic, Eliza causes her mother to disappear into an unknown realm.
• Inciting Incident: Years later, Eliza and her siblings enter an ancient family estate that they have inherited.
• Turning Point 1: They are attacked by a group of ghosts who are pushed back by Silas Hawthorne and his people. Surface layer
• Act 2: Eliza researches the history of the family to understand why the estate is haunted. Major reveal.
• Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: She finds that Silas’s ancestors had killed the Blackthorne witches during the 1700s in an attempt to steal their magic.
• Act 3: Hawthorne captures Eliza’s brother and sister and plans to sacrifice them in the ceremony at midnight. Deeper layer.
• Turning Point 3: The ghosts convince Eliza to use her latent magic powers to defeat Silas and his cult with the help of the ghosts. Hints.
• Act 4 Climax: Massive fight ensues. Eliza’s magic, with the help of the ghost and the added power of Eliza’s mother wins the day.
• Resolution: The ghosts are freed from the curse and Eliza begins the hunt for her mother.
IA INPUT
5 New Plot Layers:
1. Cult’s True Purpose: The cult isn’t just seeking power; they aim to open a permanent portal to another realm, unleashing an ancient evil that could dominate both worlds.
2. Family’s Hidden Legacy: The Blackwood family has an ancient protector spirit bound to their bloodline, which can only be awakened through a specific ritual that involves sacrifice and blood magic.
3. Double Agent: One of the Blackwood siblings is secretly working with Silas, either out of fear or a misguided belief that it will protect the family.
4. Prophecy Fulfillment: A hidden prophecy reveals that only through the ultimate sacrifice of one family member can the cycle of bloodshed and power be broken, forcing Eliza to consider the unthinkable.
5. Lost Tome: A long-lost book containing powerful spells and the history of the cult’s true origins is discovered, revealing that the cult was originally formed to combat a far greater evil, twisting the current conflict into a tragic misunderstanding.
5 New Character Layers for Eliza Blackwood:
1. Hidden Talent: Eliza possesses a natural affinity for magic that she has suppressed all her life, fearing it after her mother’s disappearance, which she only starts to accept and explore as the story progresses.
2. Secret Mentor: Eliza had a mentor (perhaps an old family friend) who knew about the family’s supernatural legacy and trained her in secret, providing her with knowledge she initially dismisses but later relies on.
3. Guilt-Fueled Drive: Eliza is haunted by not just her mother’s disappearance but the fear that her father’s death was also related to her latent powers, which fuels her determination to protect her siblings at all costs.
4. Internal Conflict: Eliza struggles with the morality of using dark magic to fight the cult, fearing that in doing so, she might become as monstrous as the enemies she despises.
5. Emotional Barrier: Eliza has built emotional walls to protect herself from the trauma of her past, which she must break down to fully accept her role and power, learning to trust her siblings and their shared strength.
5 New Character Layers for Silas Hawthorne:
1. Tragic Past: Silas’s obsession with power stems from a traumatic event in his childhood, such as witnessing the cult’s brutal retaliation against his family for defying them, driving his ruthless ambition.
2. Split Personality: Silas battles an internal struggle between his human side and a darker, more malevolent force that grants him his powers but threatens to consume him entirely.
3. Secret Vulnerability: Silas has a hidden physical or emotional weakness tied to his quest for power, such as a cursed injury or a loved one he’s trying to protect, revealing a more sympathetic side.
4. Manipulative Charm: Silas is incredibly persuasive, able to turn people to his cause by exploiting their deepest fears and desires, making his followers’ loyalty seem almost supernatural.
5. Unfulfilled Prophecy: Silas believes he is the prophesied savior of the cult, destined to bring them ultimate power, but the prophecy actually speaks of his downfall at the hands of a betrayed follower.
Integration into the 4-Act Structure
Act 1:
• Opening: Introduce the cult’s ritual failing to fully open a portal to another realm, hinting at a greater danger.
• Inciting Incident: Eliza's mentor’s letter or hidden diary is found, warning about the cult’s true purpose and urging Eliza to embrace her powers.
• Turning Point: The Blackwoods agree to help the cult, unaware of the true depth of Silas’s plans and the prophecy involving their bloodline.
Act 2:
• New Plan: Eliza begins to unlock her hidden magical talent, guided by her mentor’s teachings.
• Plan in Action: The siblings use modern relics and Eliza’s growing powers to fend off ghost attacks, uncovering deeper layers of their family’s history.
• Midpoint Turning Point: Eliza discovers the full extent of the prophecy and her own role in it, realizing that Silas’s plans could unleash an ancient evil.
Act 3:
• Rethink Everything: Eliza’s emotional barriers start to break down as she accepts her powers and responsibilities, struggling with the morality of dark magic.
• New Plan: Eliza prepares to confront Silas, using the knowledge from the lost tome and her mentor’s guidance.
• Turning Point: The confrontation fails initially, revealing Silas’s true vulnerability and the need for Eliza’s ultimate sacrifice to break the cycle of power.
Act 4:
• Climax: Eliza, empowered by her ancestors and the ghosts, engages in the final battle with Silas, balancing the use of dark and light magic.
• Resolution: Eliza defeats Silas, preventing the portal from opening. The ghosts move on, but Eliza is left with the knowledge and power needed to find her mother, setting up a potential future journey.
By adding these deeper layers, the story gains more complexity, making the characters richer and the plot twists more engaging, ultimately creating a more compelling horror/thriller experience.

• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Supporting Characters
Assignment #8 Supporting Characters
Vision: I become a writer that the industry respects and wants to work with and it offers me challenges that helps me to continue to grow and be successful.
“What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”
It is easy to create supporting characters who can help our main characters fulfill their role in the story.
State: I’m really great at…
Activity: …creating purpose-driven supporting characters.
2. Tell us your supporting and background characters.
• Supporting Characters:
Gabriel Blackwood – Eliza’s older brother.
Evelyn Blackwood – Eliza’s older sister.
Margaret Blackwood – one ghost killed by Hawthorne’s ancestors in 1726
• Background Characters:
A couple cult members
Ghosts
Sara Blackwood – the mother of the children – long disappeared when Eliza was playing with magic as a child.
3. Focusing on those supporting characters, fill in the basic profile for each.
Support 1:
• Name: Gabriel Blackwood
• Role: Eliza’s brother
• Main purpose: support and the main reason Eliza steps up.
• Value: Forces Eliza to use her powers to stop the curse and free the ghosts.
Support 2:
• Name: Evelyn Blackwood
• Role: Eliza’s sister
• Main purpose: support and the main reason Eliza steps up.
• Value: Forces Eliza to use her powers to stop the curse and free the ghosts.
Support 3:
• Name: Margaret Blackwood
• Role: one ghost killed by Hawthorne’s ancestors in 1726.
• Main purpose: To educate Eliza on the past and her role to end the curse.
• Value: Teaches The Blackwood siblings about what the Hawthorne ancestors did to the witches of the past and the threat they still pose.

• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Character Profiles Part 2
Vision: I become a writer that the industry respects and wants to work with and it offers me challenges that helps me to continue to grow and be successful.
“What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”
By adding these characteristics, my characters become more three dimensional and interesting.
State: It is so much fun…
Activity: …to discover what is under the surface for my characters.
2.
Eliza Blackwood
• A. The High Concept =
A cult leader tries to manipulate a family to gain supernatural powers for himself.
• B. This Character’s Journey =
Eliza is a follower who denies the supernatural, but must push aside her fears and accept that she has the power to solve the problem.
• C. The Actor Attractors for this Character =
• Known for Role: Eliza's transformation from a skeptic to a powerful leader in control of supernatural forces would showcase an actor's range and depth.
• Most Interesting Character: Eliza's journey from disbelief to empowerment is compelling, offering a complex emotional arc for an actor to explore.
• Interesting Actions: Eliza could perform rituals, confront ghosts and the cult, and ultimately wield magical powers against her enemies.
• Introduction: Eliza could be introduced as a skeptical and rational character, providing a contrast to the supernatural elements she will later encounter.
• Emotional Range: Eliza's emotional range would include skepticism, fear, determination, and ultimately, acceptance and power.
• Subtext: Eliza's journey can be played with subtextual layers of trust, betrayal, and the search for identity and belonging.
• Interesting Relationships: Eliza's relationships with her siblings and the ghosts of her ancestors would be pivotal, offering opportunities for deep emotional connections and conflicts.
• Unique Voice: Eliza's voice could evolve from one of doubt and hesitation to one of authority and conviction, reflecting her transformation.
• Special: Eliza's special connection to the supernatural forces and her ancestors would make her a unique and powerful character, offering a blend of horror and empowerment.
3. Brainstorm these profile components for each character.
• 7. Character Subtext: Eliza saw something years ago that she cannot understand, so is confrontational with anything that borders on supernatural.
• 8. Character Intrigue:
Deception: She shows destain for any suggestion to magic.
Unspoken Wound: as a child playing with magic, she inadvertently caused her mother to disappear into a different realm.
Secret Identity: Eliza is a skeptic who reluctantly embraces her family's supernatural legacy to protect her loved ones.
• 9. Flaw: She is denying her role in the disappearance of her mother.
• 10. Values: Overprotective of her siblings.
• 11. Character Dilemma: Power to fix things versus hiding the truth.

Silas Hawthrone
• A. The High Concept.
A cult leader tries to manipulate a family to gain supernatural powers for himself.
• B. This Character’s Journey.
Silas has worked his entire life to gain the powers denied his ancestors when they killed off the witches in this part of the country.

• C. The Actor Attractors for this Character.

• Known for Role: Silas is a charismatic and manipulative cult leader, a role that allows an actor to portray charm and menace in equal measure.
• Most Interesting Character: Silas's descent into madness and his obsession with power make him a complex and compelling antagonist.
• Interesting Actions: Silas could manipulate events, perform dark rituals, and engage in psychological warfare against the Blackwoods.
• Introduction: Silas could be introduced as a charming and persuasive figure, masking his true intentions and setting up his role as the main antagonist.
• Emotional Range: Silas's emotional range would include charm, manipulation, rage, and ultimately, desperation and defeat.
• Subtext: Silas's subtext could include his quest for validation and acceptance, driving his ruthless pursuit of power.
• Interesting Relationships: Silas's relationship with the Blackwoods and his followers would be fraught with tension and betrayal, offering dynamic interactions.
• Unique Voice: Silas's voice would be authoritative and persuasive, drawing others into his web of manipulation.
• Special: Silas's special connection to the cult's prophecy and his ancestors would make him a formidable and enigmatic character, driving the story's conflict.
3. Brainstorm these profile components for each character.
• 7. Character Subtext: Silas pretends to be the rescuer and protector of the family, but in reality, plans to use them to gain their family’s dormant powers.
• 8. Character Intrigue:
• Conspiracies: He plans on sacrificing one sibling to gain untold power.
• Secrets: His ancestors had killed the witches to gain their power.
• Deception: That he is there to protect the family.
• Secret Identity: A power-hungry leader who fears losing control over his followers.

• 9. Flaw: Power-mad
• 10. Values: Greed
• 11. Character Dilemma: Wanting external admiration versus loving yourself.
• Role in the Story: antagonist
• Age range and Description: middle age, robust, intimidating
• Core Traits: manipulative, ruthless, charming,
• Motivation; Want/Need: wants power/needs to win
• Wound: Has been deserted by all who he loved.
• Likability, Relatability, Empathy:
Likability: He saved the siblings from the ghost attack at great risk to himself.
Relatability: He morns for the cult member who was killed in the encounter.
Empathy: His whole life has been dedicated to stopping the ghost for harming others.
IA INPUT
Character Profile: Eliza Blackwood
1. Role in the Story:
• Protagonist
2. Age Range and Description:
• Mid-30s; intelligent, determined, and skeptical, with a sharp, analytical mind. Dark hair, piercing eyes, and a presence that evolves from unsure to commanding.
3. Core Traits:
• Skeptical, Resourceful, Determined, Empathetic
4. Motivation; Want/Need:
• Want: To uncover the truth about her family's past and stop the cult.
• Need: To forgive herself and accept her role in the supernatural legacy.
5. Wound:
• As a child, she accidentally caused her mother to disappear into a different realm while playing with magic, a secret she has kept hidden.
6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy:
• Likable for her intelligence and determination. Relatable due to her initial skepticism and journey of self-discovery. Empathetic as she seeks to protect her siblings and right the wrongs of the past.
7. Character Subtext:
• She hides her guilt about her mother's disappearance, which haunts her decisions and actions.
8. Character Intrigue:
• Eliza has a hidden agenda of mastering her newfound powers to save her family, even if it means confronting her deepest fears.
9. Flaw:
• Her skepticism and self-doubt often cause her to second-guess herself and hesitate at critical moments.
10. Values:
• Family, Truth, Courage, Redemption
11. Character Dilemma:
• Balancing her desire to protect her family with the fear that she might inadvertently harm them through her actions and newfound powers.
Character Profile: Silas Hawthorne
1. Role in the Story:
• Antagonist
2. Age Range and Description:
• Late 40s to early 50s; charismatic and manipulative, with an aura of confidence and authority. Sharp features, intense gaze, and an unsettling charm.
3. Core Traits:
• Charismatic, Manipulative, Ambitious, Ruthless
4. Motivation; Want/Need:
• Want: To gain ultimate power by sacrificing the Blackwood family and fulfilling the cult's prophecy.
• Need: To prove his worth and maintain control over his followers.
5. Wound:
• A deep-seated fear of losing control and relevance, stemming from a past failure where he lost followers and faced ridicule.
6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy:
• Likable for his charm and persuasive skills. Relatable in his fear of failure and need for validation. Limited empathy due to his ruthless nature.
7. Character Subtext:
• Silas fears losing his power and influence, a fear that drives his every action and decision.
8. Character Intrigue:
• Silas has a hidden conspiracy with loyal cult members to ensure the sacrifice of the Blackwoods, masking his true intentions with charm and deceit.
9. Flaw:
• His obsession with power and control blinds him to the loyalty and needs of his followers, causing internal dissent.
10. Values:
• Power, Control, Loyalty, Legacy
11. Character Dilemma:
• Struggling between his charismatic facade and his paranoid, power-hungry nature, which drives him to increasingly desperate measures.

• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Character Profile Part 1
Assignment #6 Character Profile Part 1
Vision: I become a writer that the industry respects and wants to work with and it offers me challenges that helps me to continue to grow and be successful.
“What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”

State: I’m highly motivated…
Activity: …to create engaging character profiles.
Eliza Blackwood
• A. The High Concept.
A cult leader tries to manipulate a family to gain supernatural powers for himself.
• B. This character’s journey.
Eliza is a follower who doesn’t believe in the supernatural, but must push aside her fears and accept that she has the power to solve the problem.
• C. The Actor Attractors for this character.

• Known for Role: Eliza's transformation from a skeptic to a powerful leader in control of supernatural forces would showcase an actor's range and depth.
• Most Interesting Character: Eliza's journey from disbelief to empowerment is compelling, offering a complex emotional arc for an actor to explore.
• Interesting Actions: Eliza could perform rituals, confront ghosts and the cult, and ultimately wield magical powers against her enemies.
• Introduction: Eliza could be introduced as a skeptical and rational character, providing a contrast to the supernatural elements she will later encounter.
• Emotional Range: Eliza's emotional range would include skepticism, fear, determination, and ultimately, acceptance and power.
• Subtext: Eliza's journey can be played with subtextual layers of trust, betrayal, and the search for identity and belonging.
• Interesting Relationships: Eliza's relationships with her siblings and the ghosts of her ancestors would be pivotal, offering opportunities for deep emotional connections and conflicts.
• Unique Voice: Eliza's voice could evolve from one of doubt and hesitation to one of authority and conviction, reflecting her transformation.
• Special: Eliza's special connection to the supernatural forces and her ancestors would make her a unique and powerful character, offering a blend of horror and empowerment.
• Role in the Story: protagonist
• Age range and Description: early 20’s, fit
• Core Traits: intelligent, courageous, logical
• Motivation; Want/Need: To protect her siblings/ to avoid losing anyone else to magic.
• Wound: as a child, playing with magic, she inadvertently sends her mother to another realm never to be seen again.
• Likability, Relatability, Empathy:
Likability: She is protective of her siblings
Relatability: She has lost both parents. Other than her siblings, she is alone. She is afraid her siblings will blame her if they found out and hate her for her role in their mother’s disappearance.
Empathy: She has held the blame over her mother’s disappearance internally.

Silas Hawthorne
• A. The High Concept.
A cult leader tries to manipulate a family to gain supernatural powers for himself.
• B. This character’s journey.
Silas has worked his entire life to gain the powers denied his ancestors when they killed off the witches in this part of the country.
• C. The Actor Attractors for this character.

• Known for Role: Silas is a charismatic and manipulative cult leader, a role that allows an actor to portray charm and menace in equal measure.
• Most Interesting Character: Silas's descent into madness and his obsession with power make him a complex and compelling antagonist.
• Interesting Actions: Silas could manipulate events, perform dark rituals, and engage in psychological warfare against the Blackwoods.
• Introduction: Silas could be introduced as a charming and persuasive figure, masking his true intentions and setting up his role as the main antagonist.
• Emotional Range: Silas's emotional range would include charm, manipulation, rage, and ultimately, desperation and defeat.
• Subtext: Silas's subtext could include his quest for validation and acceptance, driving his ruthless pursuit of power.
• Interesting Relationships: Silas's relationship with the Blackwoods and his followers would be fraught with tension and betrayal, offering dynamic interactions.
• Unique Voice: Silas's voice would be authoritative and persuasive, drawing others into his web of manipulation.
• Special: Silas's special connection to the cult's prophecy and his ancestors would make him a formidable and enigmatic character, driving the story's conflict.
• Role in the Story: antagonist
• Age range and Description: middle age, robust, intimidating
• Core Traits: manipulative, ruthless, charming,
• Motivation; Want/Need: wants power/needs to win
• Wound: Has been deserted by all who he loved.
• Likability, Relatability, Empathy:
Likability: He saved the siblings from the ghost attack at great risk to himself.
Relatability: He morns for the cult member who was killed in the encounter.
Empathy: His whole life has been dedicated to stopping the ghost for harming others.

• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Likability/Relatability/Empathy
Assignment #5 Audience Connections to Characters
Vision: I become a writer that the industry respects and wants to work with and it offers me challenges that helps me to continue to grow and be successful.
“What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”
A great bad guy can enhance
State: I have fun…
Activity: …making my characters likable, relatable, and empathetic!
• 2. Brainstorm one or more ways you can present your Protagonist through each of these:
• Likability: She is protective of her siblings
• Relatability: She has lost both parents. Other than her siblings, she is alone. She is afraid her siblings will blame her if they found out and hate her for her role in their mother’s disappearance.
• Empathy: She has held the blame over her mother’s disappearance internally.

3. Just to get the experience, give us one or more ways that your Antagonist could be presented through each of these:
• Likability: He saved the siblings from the ghost attack at great risk to himself.
• Relatability: He morns for the cult member who was killed in the encounter.
• Empathy: His whole life has been dedicated to stopping the ghost for harming others.

• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  David Wickenden.
• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Character Intrigue
Assignment #4 Character Intrigue

Vision: I become a writer that the industry respects and wants to work with and it offers me challenges that helps me to continue to grow and be successful.
“What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”
Adding intrigue gives my character much more depth and interesting background.
State: I just love discovering…
Activity: …the intrigue of my characters!
1.
• Character Name: Eliza Blackwood
• Role: protagonist
• Hidden agendas:
• Competition:
• Conspiracies:
• Secrets:
• Deception: She shows destain for any suggestion to magic.
• Unspoken Wound: as a child playing with magic, she inadvertently caused her mother to disappear into a different realm.
• Secret Identity: Eliza is a skeptic who reluctantly embraces her family's supernatural legacy to protect her loved ones.
2. Eliza must move past her fear of failure which caused her to lose her mother and embrace magic to save her siblings.
• Character Name: Silas Hawthorne
• Role: antagonist
• Hidden agendas:
• Competition:
• Conspiracies: He plans on sacrificing one sibling to gain untold power.
• Secrets: His ancestors had killed the witches to gain their power.
• Deception: That he is there to protect the family.
• Unspoken Wound:
• Secret Identity: A power-hungry leader who fears losing control over his followers.
AI INPUT
Eliza Blackwood:
• Hidden Agenda: Eliza secretly studies forbidden spells and rituals, hoping to find a way to undo the curse on her family without anyone knowing.
• Competition: Eliza competes with her siblings for control of the family's supernatural powers, believing she is the only one capable of handling them responsibly.
• Conspiracy: Eliza forms a secret alliance with one of the ghosts to gather information and devise a plan to overthrow Silas and the cult.
• Secret: Eliza hides the fact that she caused her mother's disappearance as a child, which has left her feeling responsible and guilt-ridden.
• Deception: Eliza pretends to go along with the cult's plans while secretly working against them, using her newfound powers to sabotage their efforts.
• Unspoken Wound: The trauma of losing her mother and the burden of her guilt haunts Eliza, shaping her determination to protect her siblings at all costs.
• Secret Identity: Eliza sees herself as a silent protector and hero, even though she outwardly portrays herself as a reluctant participant in the supernatural events.
Silas Hawthorne:
• Hidden Agenda: Silas plans to use the Blackwoods' powers to unlock an ancient artifact that will grant him immortality and ultimate control over the supernatural realm.
• Competition: Silas constantly vies for dominance within the cult, ensuring no one challenges his authority or questions his decisions.
• Conspiracy: Silas collaborates with a select group of cult members to eliminate any threats to his leadership, including the Blackwoods if they prove too powerful.
• Secret: Silas keeps his true lineage hidden; he is actually a descendant of the original cult leaders, which gives him a personal stake in fulfilling the prophecy.
• Deception: Silas deceives his followers by promising them power and protection while intending to sacrifice them to achieve his goals.
• Unspoken Wound: Silas was once betrayed by someone he trusted deeply, leading to his obsession with control and mistrust of everyone around him.
• Secret Identity: Silas views himself as a messianic figure destined to reshape the supernatural world, masking his insecurities and fears of inadequacy.
These layers can add complexity and depth to both Eliza and Silas, making their interactions and individual journeys more engaging and multifaceted for the audience.

• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

Wickenden/ Subtext Characters
Vision: I become a writer that the industry respects and wants to work with and it offers me challenges that helps me to continue to grow and be successful.
“What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”
State: I love discovering…
Activity: …the subtext of my characters!
2.
• Movie Title: The Pope’s Exorcist
• Character Name: Gabriele Amorth
• Subtext Identity: The victim
• Subtext Trait: Concealing
• Subtext Logline: Gabriele is a exorcist who hides his own sins until thy are exposed by a demon.
• Possible Areas of Subtext: He hides the sins of his past which are used against him in the fight with a demon.

Eliza Blackwood
• Character Name: Eliza Blackwood
• Subtext Identity: The Victim
• Subtext Trait: In denial
• Subtext Logline: Eliza saw something years ago that she cannot understand, so is confrontational with anything that borders on supernatural.
• Possible Areas of Subtext: When the ghosts appear, she dismisses it as an elaborate prank.

Silas Hawthorne
• Character Name: Silas Hawthorne
• Subtext Identity: The con/seducer
• Subtext Trait: Manipulative
• Subtext Logline: Silas comes across as a savior, but in truth needs to get close enough to use the siblings for his own plans.
• Possible Areas of Subtext: Silas pretends to be the rescuer and protector of the family, but in reality plans to use them to gain their family’s dormant powers.

AI Input
Eliza Blackwood:
• Subtext Identity: A skeptic who secretly craves the validation of the supernatural.
• Subtext Trait: She is hiding her fear of losing control over her newfound powers.
• Subtext Logline: Eliza is a skeptic who reluctantly embraces her family’s supernatural legacy to protect her loved ones.
Silas Hawthorne:
• Subtext Identity: A power-hungry leader who fears losing control over his followers.
• Subtext Trait: He is luring/seducing the Blackwoods into his cult to fulfill his own dark desires.
• Subtext Logline: Silas is a charismatic cult leader who manipulates his followers to fulfill a prophecy that will grant him ultimate power.
These subtextual elements can add depth to the characters and create tension in their interactions and decisions throughout the story.

[David Wickenden]

Assignment #2 David Wickenden Roles that Sell Actors
Vision: I become a writer that the industry respects and wants to work with and it offers me challenges that helps me to continue to grow and be successful.
“What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”
By following the prompts, one can easily spell out why the character would be attractive to actors.
State: I just love…
Activity: …creating Actor Attractors for my characters!
Attractors for Eliza Blackwood:
Known for Role: Eliza's transformation from a skeptic to a powerful leader in control of supernatural forces would showcase an actor's range and depth.
Most Interesting Character: Eliza's journey from disbelief to empowerment is compelling, offering a complex emotional arc for an actor to explore.
Interesting Actions: Eliza could perform rituals, confront ghosts and the cult, and ultimately wield magical powers against her enemies.
Introduction: Eliza could be introduced as a skeptical and rational character, providing a contrast to the supernatural elements she will later encounter.
Emotional Range: Eliza's emotional range would include skepticism, fear, determination, and ultimately, acceptance and power.
Subtext: Eliza's journey can be played with subtextual layers of trust, betrayal, and the search for identity and belonging.
Interesting Relationships: Eliza's relationships with her siblings and the ghosts of her ancestors would be pivotal, offering opportunities for deep emotional connections and conflicts.
Unique Voice: Eliza's voice could evolve from one of doubt and hesitation to one of authority and conviction, reflecting her transformation.
Special: Eliza's special connection to the supernatural forces and her ancestors would make her a unique and powerful character, offering a blend of horror and empowerment.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

Assignment #6 Genre Conventions
Vision: I become a writer that the industry respects and wants to work with and it offers me challenges that helps me to continue to grow and be successful.
“What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”
I learned how genre conventions can really pump up the script to make it appealing to audiences.
• State: I’m completely confident…
• Activity: …building genre conventions into my structure.
2. Tell us the following:
• Title: The Witch’s Legacy
• Concept: The family encounters hostile ghosts of murdered witches from the 1700s, only to find that a cult is using them to steal supernatural powers from the dead.
• Genre: Horror/Thriller

3. CONVENTIONS OF THRILLERS PURPOSE: To thrill your audience with high stakes, plot twists, and suspense that never lets up until the adrenalin packed climax.
LIFE AND DEATH SITUATIONS
MYSTERY/INTRIGUE/SUSPENSE
HERO
VILLAIN
MAIN EMOTIONS
CONVENTIONS OF HORROR PURPOSE: To create the experience of horror for your audience by taking your characters to the point of hysteria.
ISOLATION
DEATH
MONSTER/VILLAIN
HIGH TENSION
DEPARTURE FROM REALITY
MORAL STATEMENT

4. Act 1:
• Opening
During a ritual, a cult battles with ghosts. A massive snake consumes one of the cultist. The Cult leader cuts the snake, killing a ghost that assumed it’s form. A ghost possesses a cultist and kills two other cultists before he is cut down by another. The cult required the sacrifice of descendant to gain the upper hand.
• Inciting Incident
The Blackwood siblings inherited the family estate. Crows attacked them as they arrived, and they sought shelter in the house. They are cut and bleeding, unsure of what has just happened. They explore the ancient building. Ghosts soon attacked them, which were driven back by the cult leader and his people.
• Turning Point
The Blackwoods agree to help the cult destroy the ghosts.
Act 2:
• New plan
Eliza tries to use logic to find her way, researching the family history. Her siblings must protect her while she researches the documents.
• Plan in action
The siblings try to use modern religious relics to stop the evil of the ghosts. A ghost posses the brother and only after being knocked out does it free him, but not after near killing Eliza’s sister.
• Midpoint Turning Point
Eliza discovers the witches are her ancestors who were murdered hundreds of years prior by the same cult that still hounds them.
Act 3:
• Rethink everything
Eliza tries to do a quick study of the spells she has uncovered. The spell backfires and she comes close to being consumed.
• New plan
She will confront the cult leader and refuse him entry to the estate. Her spell fails as the Cult leader is must stronger. One of the cultists fights her siblings and manages to push her sister into the void that Eliza has summoned.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift
A ghost possesses Eliza and shows her the secret to the magic – Blood. She also shows what happened in the 1700s and how the cult has been after their power ever since, sacrificing Eliza’s ancestors each generation. The spells do not work because they are missing a final ingredient – blood from one of the ancestors. Her brother is struck down and he and Eliza’s sister has been sucked into a void.
Eliza offers her own blood to the spell and gains the power of the witches.
Act 4:
• Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict
Using the power of her ancestors, Eliza, with the help of the ghosts, fight and defeats the cult, killing them off or banishing them from the realm of mortals.
• Resolution
Eliza has won and the ghosts are free to move on to the afterlife, but Eliza must learn more to search for her brother and sister, who are stuck in another realm.
• Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict
Eliza enters the portal into the void and must fight the lead demon and his minions. She brings her memories and love for siblings to give her strength and bashes the demons aside, while freeing her brother and sister. One of the minions is the dead cult leader, now a demon.
• Resolution
Eliza returns with her siblings through the portal. Before it closes the cult leader/demon rushes her but is pulled back by a large demonic hand from the void.
5. AI Response
To enhance your screenplay's effectiveness as a horror/thriller, let's integrate the genre conventions you've provided into your structure:
Act 1:
• Opening: The ritual should be intense and visually striking, setting a tone of horror and supernatural power. Emphasize the cult's desperation and the sinister nature of the ghosts.
• Inciting Incident: The attack by crows should be unnerving and violent, establishing the isolation of the family and their vulnerability.
• Turning Point: The agreement to help the cult should be portrayed with a sense of dread and foreboding, hinting at the dangers to come.
Act 2:
• New plan: Eliza's research should uncover dark and disturbing secrets, increasing the mystery and danger surrounding their family history.
• Plan in action: The use of modern religious relics should bring temporary relief but also escalate the threat, showing that the evil forces are not easily defeated.
• Midpoint Turning Point: Eliza's discovery should be a shocking revelation, deepening the family's entanglement in the cult's sinister past.
Act 3:
• Rethink everything: Eliza's attempt at a spell should be a moment of high tension, highlighting the consequences of failure and the escalating danger.
• New plan: The confrontation with the cult leader should be a climactic showdown, with the stakes at their highest and the danger palpable.
Act 4:
• Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: The final battle should be epic and terrifying, with Eliza harnessing the full power of the witches and the ghosts to overcome the cult.
• Resolution: Eliza's victory should be bittersweet, with the ghosts finding peace but Eliza's personal journey far from over, leaving the audience with a sense of lingering dread.
Integrating these conventions will help amplify the horror and thriller elements of your screenplay, creating a more immersive and chilling experience for the audience.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

Assignment 5 – Four Act Transformational Structure
Vision: I become a writer that the industry respects and wants to work with and it offers me challenges that helps me to continue to grow and be successful.
“What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”
AI is limited when it comes to creativity. It comes up with ideas, but nowhere near as complex nor as dark as from a writer.
• State: I feel completely confident…
• Activity: …creating the structure of my story.

2.
• Concept – A family discovers they are the sacrificial heirs of an ancient cult tied to supernatural forces from the 1700s.

• Main Conflict – The family encounters hostile ghosts of murdered witches from the 1700s, only to find that a cult is using them to steal supernatural powers from the dead.

• Old Ways
Eliza starts as a follower, lacking belief in anything beyond the tangible. She allows others, particularly her siblings, to make decisions for her.

• New Ways
By the end, Eliza becomes a leader, embracing the supernatural and taking control of her family’s destiny. She trusts her instincts and makes decisions based on her newfound beliefs.
Act 1:
• Opening
During a ritual, a cult battles with ghosts and although both sides leave dead foes behind, the battle is inconclusive. The cult required the sacrifice of descendant to gain the upper hand.
• Inciting Incident
The Blackwood siblings have inherited the family estate. They are soon attacked by ghosts, which are driven back by the cult leader and his people.
• Turning Point
The Blackwoods agree to help the cult destroy the ghosts.
Act 2:
• New plan
Eliza tries to use logic to find her way, researching the family history.
• Plan in action
The siblings try to use modern religious relics to stop the evil of the ghosts.
• Midpoint Turning Point
Eliza discovers the witches are her ancestors who were murdered hundreds of years prior by the same cult that still hounds them.
Act 3:
• Rethink everything
Eliza tries to do a quick study of the spells she has uncovered.
• New plan
She will confront the cult leader and refuse him entry to the estate.
• Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift
The spells do not work because they are missing a final ingredient – blood from one of the ancestors. Her brother is struck down and her sister has been sucked into a void.
Eliza offers her own blood to the spell and gains the power of the witches.
Act 4:
• Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict
Using the power of her ancestors, Eliza, with the help of the ghosts, fight and defeats the cult, killing them off or banishing them from the realm of mortals.
• Resolution
Eliza has won and the ghosts are free to move on to the afterlife, but Eliza must learn more to search for her brother and sister, who are stuck in another realm.

AI input
Title: “The Heirloom Sacrifice” Genre: Horror/Thriller
Act 1:
• Opening: During a ritual, a cult battles with ghosts and although both sides leave dead foes behind, the battle is inconclusive. The cult required the sacrifice of a descendant to gain the upper hand.
• Inciting Incident: The Blackwood siblings inherit the family estate. They are soon attacked by ghosts, which are driven back by the cult leader and his people.
• Turning Point: The Blackwoods reluctantly agree to help the cult destroy the ghosts, unaware of the true consequences.
Act 2:
• New plan: Eliza tries to use logic to find her way, researching the family history.
• Plan in action: The siblings try to use modern religious relics to stop the evil of the ghosts.
• Midpoint Turning Point: Eliza discovers the witches are her ancestors who were murdered hundreds of years prior by the same cult that still hounds them.
Act 3:
• Rethink everything: Eliza tries to do a quick study of the spells she has uncovered.
• New plan: She will confront the cult leader and refuse him entry to the estate.
• Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: The spells do not work because they are missing a final ingredient – blood from one of the ancestors. Her brother is struck down, and her sister is sucked into a void. Eliza offers her own blood to the spell and gains the power of the witches.
Act 4:
• Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Using the power of her ancestors, Eliza, with the help of the ghosts, fight and defeats the cult, killing them off or banishing them from the realm of mortals.
• Resolution: Eliza has won, and the ghosts are free to move on to the afterlife, but Eliza must learn more to search for her brother and sister, who are stuck in another realm.
This enhanced structure adds more urgency, sacrifice, and dark twists to the story, making it a thrilling and chilling tale of supernatural horror.

[David Wickenden]

Assignment #4 Subtext
Vision: I become a writer that the industry respects and wants to work with and it offers me challenges that helps me to continue to grow and be successful.

State: I
absolutely love…
Activity:
…creating the story beneath the surface!
“What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”

I can easily consider the different subtext elements for my script.

Concept: A family discovers they are the sacrificial heirs of an ancient cult tied to supernatural forces from the 1700s.

Scheme
and Investigation: The family is trying to learn about their
ancestral home and the origin of the ghost that are plaguing them.
Someone
Hides Who They Are: Silas Hawthorne comes across as a friend of
the family, but the whole-time plans on sacrificing one the family to
further his quest for supernatural power.
A Major
Coverup: The
witches were never killed for religious reasons but to steal their
supernatural powers which they used to help people.
AI
Scheme and Investigation:
Silas, the antagonist, is secretly scheming to manipulate Eliza and her family for his own gain. He plants false clues and sets up situations to make them doubt each other.
Eliza, on the other hand, starts investigating the cult’s history and the supernatural forces at play. She uncovers hidden motives and lies, eventually piecing together Silas’s true intentions.

Layering:
Beneath the surface of the cult’s rituals lies a deeper layer of meaning related to ancient prophecies and the true purpose of the sacrifices.
As Eliza delves deeper into the history of the cult, she uncovers layers of deception and cover-ups that reveal the true extent of the curse and its ties to her family.

Someone Hides Who They Are:
One of the family members is hiding a dark secret related to the cult, but their identity is initially unknown.
Clues scattered throughout the story lead to the discovery of this hidden identity, causing repercussions within the family and the cult.

The Fish Out of Water:
Eliza, a skeptic, is thrown into a world of supernatural phenomena and ancient curses, forcing her to adapt and confront her beliefs.
As Eliza navigates this unfamiliar territory, she must rely on her wits and instincts to survive and protect her family.
Superior Position:
The audience knows from the beginning that Silas is manipulating events to further his own agenda, while Eliza and her family remain unaware.
This creates tension as the audience watches the family struggle against forces they don’t fully understand, adding a layer of suspense to the story.
A Major Cover Up:
The cult has been covering up its true nature and activities for centuries, using elaborate schemes and lies to maintain secrecy.
Eliza’s investigation uncovers the extent of the cover-up, revealing the true horrors hidden beneath the surface of the estate.
Competitive Agendas:
Silas and the family are engaged in a hidden battle for control of the estate and the power it holds.
This competition drives both sides to plan and scheme, leading to a climactic showdown where only one can emerge victorious.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  David Wickenden. Reason: Removed HTML tags so others can post

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Transformational Journey

Vision: I become a writer that the industry respects and wants to work with and it offers me challenges that helps me to continue to grow and be successful.

“What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”

The transformational journey is what causes audiences to watch movies over and over again.

State:

I’m completely capable…

Activity:

…at designing a great transformational journey for my Protagonist!

Concept: A family discovers they are the sacrificial heirs of an ancient cult tied to supernatural forces from the 1700s.

Protagonist: Eliza Blackwood

Arc Beginning:

o Does not believe in the supernatural.

o Only believes what she can see and touch.

o Realist.

o A follower. Allows her siblings to decide.

Arc Ending:

o Controls elements of magic.

o Decision maker.

o Leader.

o Takes the fight to the enemy.

Internal Journey:

o From complacent to a born leader.

o Indecisive to taking charge.

External Journey:

o An advocate for the dead witches.

o A kick-ass warrior.

Old Ways:

o Disbelieving of the occult.

o Indecisive.

o Happy to follow others.

New Ways:

o Take charge.

o Can wield the forces of magic.

o Courageous.

o Fighting to protect those who are unable to.

AI

Protagonist: Eliza Blackwood

Arc Begins: Eliza is a skeptic, relying on what she can see and touch. She follows others’ lead, especially her siblings, allowing them to make decisions for the family.

Arc Ends: Eliza embraces the supernatural elements surrounding her family’s curse. She becomes a decision-maker, leading the charge against the cult and taking control of the magical forces at play.

Internal Journey: Eliza’s internal journey involves a shift from skepticism to belief. She must confront her deep-seated mistrust and abandonment issues, learning to trust her instincts and embrace her family’s legacy.

External Journey: Externally, Eliza’s journey involves uncovering the secrets of the estate and battling the cult and its supernatural forces. She must go from being a follower to a leader, taking charge of her family’s fate.

Old Ways: Eliza starts as a follower, lacking belief in anything beyond the tangible. She allows others, particularly her siblings, to make decisions for her.

New Ways: By the end, Eliza becomes a leader, embracing the supernatural and taking control of her family’s destiny. She trusts her instincts and makes decisions based on her newfound beliefs.

[David Wickenden]

• Assignment #2 – – Lead Characters
  Vision: I become a writer that the industry respects and wants to work with and it offers me challenges that helps me to continue to grow and be successful.

• State: I am completely committed
  to…

• Activity: …having my lead
  characters deliver powerfully on my concept.

• “What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”
  I learned to ensure that each character played an actual role in my concept.

• 1. Character: E David Wickendenliza Blackwood
  Logline: Eliza and her siblings have inherited a family estate that is coveted by a cult and haunted by supernatural forces.
  Unique: Learning about the land’s history adds a layer of complexity to Eliza’s investigation. She must contend with not only the cult’s influence but also the supernatural forces tied to the land.
  2. Character: The Supernatural forces are the souls of the murdered witches from the 1700s.
  Logline: The Ghosts of women burned at the stake as witches are shackled to land and are unable to rest.
  Unique: The ghosts are a source of unbelievable power tied to the cult’s rituals.
  3. Character: Silas Hawthorne
  Logline: Silas is the leader of a cult who hopes to gain power through ancient rituals.
  Unique: A charismatic and enigmatic figure who exerts control over the estate and its surroundings, with a mysterious agenda.

• AI
  Please create the lead characters for this Horror feature screenplay about [concept] and these [characters]. For this story, please give us a Protagonist, Antagonist, and Connecting Character.
  Please tell us their [journey] and what makes them [unique].
  PROTAGONIST: Eliza Blackwood This is the character the story is about. They are going on the Transformational Journey (next lesson) and the audience will feel deeply connected to them. Often, the concept gives their overall journey.
  ANTAGONIST: Silas Hawthorne This character’s whole purpose is to disrupt the Protagonist’s journey. They may be their enemy who is trying to kill them or friend who doesn’t want them to succeed because it will ruin their friendship.
  TRAINGLE CHARACTER: the ghosts of the dead witches. In a love-triangle or a dramatic-triangle, there is a third main character that creates a competition and/or conflict between the first two.
  INTENTIONAL = What makes this character perfect to deliver the story powerfully — such as their background, profile, skills, connections, education, position, or some special way they contribute to the story? The character serves the story, genre, concept, and theme, and plays their role in the story. Drives the story and delivers on the arc of the story.
  With each character, tell us the following:
  Character:
  Role:
  Journey:
  Unique:
  Intentional:
  Genre = Horror
  Title = The Witch’s Legacy
  Concept = A family discovers they are the sacrificial heirs of an ancient cult tied to supernatural forces from the 1700s.
  Characters = Eliza Blackwood, Silas Hawthorne, The ghosts
  ChatGPT
  PROTAGONIST:
  Character: Eliza Blackwood
  Role: The main protagonist and inheritor of the cursed estate.
  Journey: Eliza embarks on a journey of self-discovery as she uncovers her family’s dark past and confronts the malevolent forces threatening their future. Initially skeptical, she must embrace her ancestral ties to break the curse and save her family.
  Unique: Eliza’s intelligence and fierce independence drive her quest for truth, but her deep-seated mistrust stemming from her mother’s abandonment adds layers of complexity to her character. Intentional: Eliza’s skepticism and determination make her the perfect lens through which the audience experiences the horrors of the estate’s past and present, driving the story forward with her relentless pursuit of answers.
  ANTAGONIST:
  Character: Silas Hawthorne
  Role: The charismatic and manipulative leader of the modern-day cult.
  Journey: Silas seeks to fulfill the cult’s prophecy by harnessing the power of the cursed estate, viewing the family as mere pawns in his grand design. His journey is one of ambition and manipulation as he schemes to maintain control and ascend to greater power within the cult.
  Unique: Silas’s charm and ruthlessness make him a formidable adversary, capable of manipulating both the living and the dead to achieve his goals. His connection to the cult’s founders adds depth to his character and drives his unwavering dedication to their cause.
  Intentional: Silas’s enigmatic presence and Machiavellian tactics heighten the tension and drive conflict throughout the story, serving as a constant threat to Eliza and her family’s quest for redemption.
  TRIANGLE CHARACTER:
  Character: The ghosts of the dead witches.
  Role: Haunting echoes of the past, seeking vengeance and resolution.
  Journey: The ghosts of the accused witches serve as a constant reminder of the estate’s dark history, trapped between the world of the living and the realm of the dead. Their journey is one of seeking justice for the injustices done to them in life, fueling their desire for revenge against those who perpetuate their suffering.
  Unique: The ghosts’ spectral presence adds an element of supernatural terror to the story, as they manifest in various forms to torment both the living and the cult members. Despite their vengeful nature, they also offer guidance and protection to Eliza and her family, blurring the lines between friend and foe.
  Intentional: The ghosts’ unresolved grievances and connection to the cursed estate serve as catalysts for the protagonist’s journey, driving the narrative forward while adding depth and complexity to the supernatural elements of the story. Their presence creates a haunting atmosphere and reinforces the theme of ancestral ties and the consequences of past actions

• This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden – Title, Concept, and Character Structure

Vision: I become a writer that the industry respects and wants to work with and it offers me challenges that helps me to continue to grow and be successful.

State: I’m really good at…

Activity: …creating an outline that turns into an amazing story

“What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”

I learned about the different character structures.

Title: The Witch’s Legacy

Concept: Horror/Thriller – A family discovers they are the sacrificial heirs of an ancient cult tied to supernatural forces from the 1700s.

I plan on using the Dramatic Triangle for my character structure.

[David Wickenden]

Assignment # 12

David Wickenden Marketing Campaign

What I learned from this assignment? You need a plan with a goal, timelines, and benchmarks. These need to be well fleshed out.

I am considering following Marketing Campaign #1 Can’t Travel but can Market.

I have been slowly getting involved in the local film industry. Northern Ontario has become a popular destination for film makers due to the favorable exchange rate and government support. As such, I have been able to attend local get togethers—Meet and Greets for film makers and conferences. I will continue to do this while I research both local and international producers to approach with my projects.

Once I have a list compiled, I will send out query letters. I will target smaller producers to enter the industry and build on this. In the meantime, I will continue to take courses and write more scripts towards the future.

[David Wickenden]

What have I learned? It’s always great to get extra eyes on your material.

Title: Defending Innocence

Genre: Thriller

TV Pilot

Dear Producer

It’s hard enough to get away with murdering child abusers without having your best friend hunting for you.

Laura, a driven psychiatrist, has firsthand experienced of the damage left behind by child abusers. Learning to fight from the people she serves; Laura begins a crusade to bring real justice to those who hurt children. But now her best friend and RCMP officer Janice is tasked with hunting her down.

When the guilty have more rights than the innocent, what options are left?

Molested as a child, Janice believes in the Law. But having seen criminals walk because of a technicality, she questions which method really works. And when she comes face to face with a killer, will she be able to decide?

If you like the concept, I’d be happy to send you the script.

I am an award-winning author who has adapted several of my books for film.

Regards,

David Wickenden

+1 705-698-0708

wickendendave@gmail.com

[David Wickenden]

Thanks to both Deborah Johnson and Lin Fuentes for their suggestions

David

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Query Letter Draft One

Dear Producer

It’s hard enough to get away with murdering child abusers without having your best friend hunting for you.

Laura, a driven psychiatrist, has firsthand experienced of the damage left behind by child abusers. She learned to fight from the people she serves, cops and the military. Laura begins a crusade to bring real justice to those who hurt children. But now her best friend and RCMP officer Janice is tasked with hunting her down.

When the guilty have more rights than the innocent, what options are left?

Molested as a child, Janice believes in the Law. But having seen criminals walk because of a technicality, she questions whether the legal system really works. Her job pits her against her best friend and the very woman who saved her years ago.

If you like the concept, I’d be happy to send you the script.

I am an award-winning author who has adapted several of my books for film.

Regards,

David Wickenden

+1 705-698-0708

wickendendave@gmail.com

[David Wickenden]

Assignment #9

David Wickenden Phone Pitch

1. I would lead with a high concept.

2. Hi, my name is David Wickenden and I am an award-winning author. I have a TV Pilot which features a female Dexter taking out child abusers internationally. Would you be interested in hearing my pitch for the project?

3. Budget— 3 million/season

Main roles—Laura (vigilante) Elizabeth Mitchell & Janice Williams (RCMP)—Ksenia Solo.

Pages—60

Who else has seen this?—You’re the first.

Why do you think this fits our company—I noticed that you have down dark thrillers in the past.

How does it end—Season one sees the vigilante escaping the country to carry on her crusade in Europe in season 2.

4. What I learned? Preparation is key. Lead strong and keep it short.

[David Wickenden]

Assignment #10

David Wickenden Target Market

· List of similar TV series.

1. Reacher

2. Dexter

3. The Equalizer

4. Terminal List

5. The Old Man

· Producers

1. Jessica Daniel

2. Jennifer Kawaja

3. Julia Sereny

4. Daniel Grou

5. Elsie Cousineau

6. Andrea Glinski

7. Jocelyn Hamilton

8. Armand Leo

9. Sarah Dodd

10. Penny Gummerson

11. Patrick Tarr

12. Giles Blunt

13. Aubrey Nealon

14. Alison Lea Bingeman

15. Jennica Harper

16. Jeff Renfroe

17. Nathan Morlando

18. Patrick Whistler

19. Noelle Carbone

20. Peter Geiger

21. Sam Hill

22. Paula Wagner

23. Thomas Vincent

24. Sean Ryerson

25. Marcy Ross

26. Aadrita Mukerji

27. Christopher McQuarrie

28. Don Granger

29. Dana Granger

30. Dana Goldberg

31. David Ellison

32. Bill Bost

33. Agatha Warren

34. Scott Sullican

35. Dennis Bishop

36. Adam Fierro

37. Arturs Rusis

38. Drew Z. Greenburg

39. Michael Cuesta

40. Jim Leonard

41. Chip Johannessen

42. James Manos Jr.

43. Arika Lisanne Mittman

44. Charles H. Eglee

45. Daniel Cerone

46. Jace Richdale

47. Scott Reynolds

48. Shawn Perterson

49. Melissa Rosenberg

50. Many Coto

51. Clyde Phillips

52. Chad Tomasoski

53. Wendy West

54. Lauren Gussis

55. Tim Michael C. Hall

56. Gary Law

57. Scott Buck

58. Robert Lloyd Lewis

59. Jphn Goldwyn

60. Sara Colleton

· What I learned from this lesson is that you need to find producers who create similar work as you have. Finding contact information is frustrating.

· Title: Defending Innocence

· Genre: Thiller

· Logline: A PTSD psychiatrist hunts down child abusers while her RCMP best friend hunts for her.

[David Wickenden]

Assignment #7

David Wickenden Query Letter

What I learned? All the elements have their place to make a short, yet sweet business letter that catches the attention of a producer.

Dear Producer

It’s hard enough to get away with murdering child abusers without having your best friend hunting for you.

Laura, a driven psychiatrist, has firsthand experienced of the damage left behind by child abusers. Learning to fight from the people she serves; Laura begins a crusade to bring real justice to those who hurt children. But now her best friend and RCMP officer Janice is tasked with hunting her down.

When the guilty have more rights than the innocent, what options are left?

Molested as a child, Janice believes in the Law. But having seen criminals walk because of a technicality, she questions which method really works. Her job pits her against her best friend and the very woman who saved her years ago.

If you like the concept, I’d be happy to send you the script.

I am an award-winning author who has adapted several of my books for film.

Regards,

David Wickenden

+1 705-698-0708

wickendendave@gmail.com

[David Wickenden]

Assignment #8

David Wickenden Pitch Fest Pitch

1. Credibility—I’m a published thriller novelist and have adapted stories into a TV Pilot. I hold all the rights.

2. Genre & Title—My project is a one-hour thriller titled Defending Innocence.

3. Hook— A PTSD phycologist starts a crusade against those who exploit children.

4.

· Budget Range—Low Budget 5 million to 10 million.

· Lead Actors: Laura Amour—Elizabeth Mitchell & Janice Williams—Ksenia Solo.

· Prologue—A young girl loses a court case against the man who abused her and commits suicide. She is found by her younger sister.

ACT 1—24 yrs later—A hooded figure kills a man riding his lawnmower. Laura Amour, a PTSD physiatrist, takes part in a military training exercise. Two men try to kidnap a young girl. The girl turns out to be Janice Williams, a RCMP officer. The two men are captured.

ACT 2—Janice arrives at home and instead of relaxing, begins investigating a child abduction case. The next day, her team develop a strategy to find the child. That night, Laura and Janice have dinner together. They are best friends. Janice is close to a breakdown from dealing with this child abduction. Laura gets a call that a police officer has taken his own life because having dealt with similar cases.

ACT 3—At the funeral, the widow blames Laura for failing her husband. A priest has the missing child imprisoned beneath the church. The hooded figure enters a storage container and loads a rifle.

ACT 4 An infamous pedophile is assassinated as they released him from prison. Janice’s team identifies a suspect in the child abduction case. Janice’s superior tells her she is being reassigned to track down the pedophile killer. She has one week to clear her cases. The hooded vigilante murders a crooked judge that night.

ACT 5—At the storage container, Laura is revealed the hooded figure. Janice calls her to inform her she was to head up the task force to hunt for the vigilante.

· How does it end?—Janice will hunt her best friend Laura.

· Credibility questions—I’m the author of the series. Working on third book currently.

5. What I have learned? Less is more in pitching.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden High Concept and Elevator Pitch

1. Main Hook – A PTSD phycologist starts a crusade against those who exploit children.

2. Different ways:

· Dilemma—Is it okay to kill to protect a child?

· Main Conflict—It’s hard enough to get away with murdering child abusers without having your best friend hunting for you.

· What’s at Stake?—A woman kills child abusers to ensure they never hurt another innocent.

· Goal/Unique Opposition—When the Law doesn’t protect children, then it’s time for a new law.

3. Elevator Pitch

I’m shopping a TV Pilot similar to The Equalizer to XYZ Production Company.

[David Wickenden]

Assignment #4

David Wickenden 10 Most Interesting Things

1.

· What is most unique about your villain and hero?

The Protagonist, Laura, is a psychiatrist who instead of helping people is now killing child abusers. Her best friend, Janice, is a RCMP officer tasked with hunting Laura down.

· Major hook of your opening scene?

After a trial that finds a rapist not guilty, a young child finds her sister has hanged herself.

· Any turning points?

Janice informs Laura that she has been assigned to a task force that is to track down and capture the vigilante, which is Laura.

· Emotional dilemma?

For Laura, the emotional dilemma is killing child abusers. It is also betraying her friend Janice and tracking the police investigation. For Janice is following the law and arresting her friend or turning a blind eye so Laura can escape.

· Major twists?

The big twist and we find out who the killer is. The second is when Janice is assigned to track down the killer.

· Reversals?

After failing to apprehend Laura, Janice is suspended. When there is a knock on the door, she finds herself kidnapped by a child abuser, who wants to get back at Laura.

· Character betrayals?

Laura betrays her best friend by using their relationship to track police investigations.

· Or any big surprises?

Laura sets a fire trap for a child abuser. He finds and kidnaps Janice to bait Laura.

As the police wait to capture Laura escaping Canada, they launched hundreds of boats, making it impossible to track.

The head of the Canadian spy agency offers to help Laura.

2.

1. The Protagonist, Laura, is a psychiatrist who, instead of helping people, is now killing child abusers.

2. Her best friend, Janice, is a RCMP officer who is tasked with hunting Laura down.

3. After a trial that finds a rapist not guilty, a young child finds her sister has hanged herself.

4. For Laura, the emotional dilemma is killing child abusers. It is also betraying her friend Janice and tracking the police investigation.

5. For Janice, the emotional dilemma is following the law and arresting her friend or turning a blind eye so Laura can escape.

6. The big twist and we find out who the killer is. The second is when Janice is assigned to track down the killer.

7. Laura betrays her best friend by using their relationship to track police investigations.

8. Laura sets a fire trap for a child abuser. He finds and kidnaps Janice to bait Laura.

9. As the police wait to capture Laura escaping Canada, they launched hundreds of boats, making it impossible to track.

10. The head of the Canadian spy agency offers to help Laura.

What I learned from this assignment?

I learned to take a hard look at my story and break it down to the most interesting elements.

[David Wickenden]

Assignment #5

David Wickenden Synopsis Hooks

Hooks:

· A vigilante starts a crusade killing child abusers.

· A quest for justice pits two best friends against each other.

· Can a cop who hunts child abusers turn a blind eye as someone dishes out real justice?

· When the guilty have more rights than the innocent, what options are left?

· If the law doesn’t protect children, who will?

· Children are being exploited worldwide.

· Similar to Sound of Freedom, the story will appeal to parents worldwide.

First draft

A vigilante starts a crusade killing child abusers.

Laura, a driven psychiatrist, has firsthand experience of the damage left behind by child abusers. Learning fighting skills from the people she serves; Laura begins a crusade to bring real justice to those who hurt children. But now her best friend and RCMP officer Janice is tasked with hunting her down.

When the guilty have more rights than the innocent, what options are left?

Molested as a child, Janice believes in the Law. But having seen criminals walk because of a technicality, she questions which method really works. Her job pits her against her best friend and the very woman who saved her years ago.

Similar to Sound of Freedom, the story will appeal to parents worldwide.

[David Wickenden]

Assignment #3

David Wickenden Producer/Manager

1. Producer: I would query only those producers who create similar projects and ensure that my story is well written and add that I am interested in collaborating with the producer and am open to any notes they may need.

2. Managers: I would approach a manager as a writer looking for a mentor. I would ensure that I express my goal as wanting to learn and grow as a writer and that I have many story ideas.

3. What I have learned today: The needs of both producers and managers and how I can help give them what they need to succeed while helping myself.

[David Wickenden]

Assignment #2 10 components of marketability

David Wickenden Marketable Components

1. Logline: Defending Innocence is a thriller about a psychologist named Laura who kills child abusers and is hunted by her RCMP friend, Janice.

A. Unique – High Concept

B. Great Title—Defending Innocence

C. True—Although fiction, the situation facing children worldwide is true.

D. Timely—With the release and success of Sound of Freedom, this continues the trend. Most people no longer trust the legal system to render justice. Using a vigilante is attractive.

E. It’s a first—N/A

F. Ultimate

G. Wide audience appeal—Equalizer, The Punisher,

H. Adapted from a popular book—adapted from my self-published book, I hold the rights.

I. Similarity to a box-office success—Sound of Freedom,

J. A great role for a bankable actor—Laura (vigilante) smart, driven, passionate.

Janice (RCMP)—haunted/driven/tough.

C. True—Although fiction, the situation facing children worldwide is true.

D. With the release and success of Sound of Freedom, this continues the trend. Most people no longer trust the legal system to render justice. Using a vigilante is attractive.

4. What I learned from this lesson: You really have analyze your story to find it’s hidden strengths.

[David Wickenden]

Good evening everyone.

My name is David Wickenden.

I have one TV Pilot and 5 feature scripts, with another one on the way. I am also an author of 7 novels; 6 thrillers and one YA Fantasy. My scripts are adaptations of my novels, although I have one near completion that I began in Hal’s thriller course.

I am hoping to learn how to market my TV Pilot, which went through the Binge Worthy course. TV Bible is ready to go. I just need to learn how to present it in the different pitch formats.

Something unique? 31 years with the Fire Service retiring as Deputy Fire Chief to write full time.

[David Wickenden]

Assignment #1

David Wickenden—Project and Market

1. Genre: Thriller, Title: Defending Innocence, Concept: What would happen if a vigilante began a war on child exploitation?

2. I think the most attractive thing about the story is that most people really want to think there is justice in the world and this dark hero delivers it.

3. I think I would approach all three. If anything, it would grow my network. From the manager POV, I would love someone to guide me to becoming a professional writer. From the producer, there is the hope of being optioned and seeing my story come to life for the world to see. Finally, for the actor’s production company, I would hope to find an actor that loves the characters that I created as I do. They would make the story stand out.

4. What I learned today is…?

The difference between a logline and a concept really stood out for me.

[David Wickenden]

As a member of this group, I, David Wickenden, agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Finished Wordsmithing

What I learned from doing this assignment?

The process was fun, now that all the other techniques were used. It also helped that I didn’t waste time editing segments of the script that were going to be changed or eliminated, eventually.

Of all the techniques for wordsmithing, I think reading the script backwards caught most issues. It takes away the story which I find overshadows the words. I’ll use this technique in the future, even in my novel writing.

The other thing that helped was cutting words and sentences to create fast reading. I cut out a ton. The entire script is lean.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Has Amazing Description!

What do I learn while doing this assignment?

The chart would have been very handy when writing the draft to make it easier to include these elements from the start. I’ll definitely be using it next time around.

The girl, Susan, in this scene is scared.

She fidgets, not knowing what to do with her hands.

Action. Internal Process

He pushes through the gate and swaggers to his friend and parents. He stops when he sees Susan’s little sister, almost forgotten by her grieving family. He puckers his lips and blows her a kiss.

The child raises her hand, bending her fingers to make a gun. She aims it at his head. Her little thumb drops, and she raises her hand as from the recoil and takes aim again. She keeps firing her finger gun until her mother pulls her hand down.

Noah’s laughter faulters and he marches out of the courtroom. Susan’s mother glares at his back until he disappears through the door. She doesn’t see the malevolent glint in her younger daughter’s eyes.

Reveals

The figure turns back to the computer table, revealing the person’s face.

It’s Laura.

Sitting back down, she grabs the mouse and opens up a browser. She types in an address and the logo for the RCMP CHILD EXPLOITATION loads.

A field appears asking for username and password. Expression sad, Laura bites her lip and closes her eyes.

On the screen, she types Username: JWilliams, password **($$%((@*X4

Action/internal process

He turns to find James dead behind him in a puddle of blood.

The lawyer stands cowering, waiting for a second shot, which never comes. Like a nervous bird, his head jumps around, searching for threats.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Has Great Introductions!

What do I learn while doing this assignment?

Both the situation and the description can add to the irony and description.

With Laura, we see a hardened anti-terrorist team gunning down multiple targets; the woman causing most of the damage. When she pulls of her helmet, she is not some jarhead, but a sophisticated woman who specializes in PTSD.

The Doc, who is LAURA AMOUR (36), a psychiatrist rather than a battle-harden warrior, takes off her helmet and shakes out her long, blonde hair.

When we are first introduced to Janice, she looks like a young street kid looking for trouble. The bag guys see this as well, because they nab her for notorious reasons, only to find that she is a competent and lethal cop.

The helpless girl/bad-ass cop, JANICE WILLIAMS, keeps her gun at the man’s head.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Description 1

What I learned from doing this assignment?

There is always room for better clarity, tone, and atmosphere. Tell vs Show still manages to sneak in.

1. Image: Nervousness

Before

INT. COURTROOM – DAY

A young girl, SUSAN (15) stands at the rail behind the prosecution table speaking softly with her MOM and DAD. Her LAWYER waits patiently beside her, doodling on a legal notepad.

DAD

It’s almost over, sweetheart. Tomorrow we can put this all behind us.

The lawyer glances over at the father, his expression guarded but nervous. His eyes go back to his notepad.

MOM

Everything’s going to fine.

Mom pats her daughter’s hands nervously. She reaches out to push down some untamed hair on her daughter’s head and gives her a perky, yet fake smile.

After

A young girl, SUSAN (15) stands at the rail behind the prosecution table. She is pale, nervous. She fidgets, not knowing what to do with her hands.

The MOM, in her Sunday best attire, has dark circles under her eyes. The DAD wears a wrinkled suit, one hand in his pant pocket, the other rubbing his daughter’s arm.

Her LAWYER waits patiently beside her, doodling on a legal notepad.

DAD

It’s almost over, sweetheart. Tomorrow we can put this all behind us.

The lawyer glances over at the father, his expression guarded but nervous. His eyes go back to his notepad.

MOM

Everything’s going to be fine.

Mom pats her daughter’s hands nervously. She reaches out to push down some untamed hair on her daughter’s head and gives her a perky, yet fake smile.

2. Image: threatened

Before

Her hand flies to her mouth, and she slowly turns, looking for a threat. Hugging herself, she dials 911 on her cell.

After

Her hand flies to her mouth. She turns slowly, scanning the forest for a threat. She hugs herself. With shaking hands, she fumbles to dial 911.

3. Image: Panic

before

Ahead, an unmarked cruiser, the light in the dash, barrels towards them. It comes to a stop, blocking both lanes. The driver breaks hard, and the girl has to brace herself against the back of his seat.

After

Ahead, an unmarked cruiser, the light in the dash, barrels towards them. It comes to a screeching stop, blocking both lanes. The driver stands on the brakes, and the girl is slammed into the back of his seat.

4. Image: surprise

Before

He reads the message.

ROB

They’ve dissected the video of victim number four.

Janice slams the desk with the palm of her hand.

JANICE

(angrily)

He has a name!

She puts both hands to her temples.

JANICE

Sorry. Right out of line. This case is driving me crazy.

ROB

Janice, the entire team feels the way you do. No apologizes necessary. Let’s just catch the son-of-a-bitch.

After

He reads the message.

ROB

They’ve dissected the video of victim number four.

Janice slams the desk with the palm of her hand. The sound echoes across the room. All eyes are wide, staring at the boss, startled at the reaction.

JANICE

(angrily)

He has a name!

She puts both hands to her temples.

JANICE

Sorry. Right out of line. This case is driving me crazy.

The others exchange looks, as if wondering if the director is coming unglued. Rob steps forward.

ROB

Janice, the entire team feels the way you do. No apologizes necessary. Let’s just catch the son-of-a-bitch.

5. Image: impatient

Before

Janice waits impatiently for her boss. The secretary answers the phone and motions her inside. Her superior, IAN WOODS, stands at the front of his desk. He’s close to sixty and his hair is completely white.

After

Janice sits outside her boss’s office. Her foot is bouncing relentlessly while she scrolls the messages on her phone. She keeps glancing at the door. When the secretary finally signals her into the room, she almost launches herself from her chair.

Her superior, IAN WOODS, stands at the front of his desk. He’s close to sixty and his hair is completely white.

JANICE

What’s up, Boss?

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Has Great Dialogue

What I learned doing this assignment?

There is always room for streamlining dialog for better clarity, mood, and subtext.

· Not much of a change, but the pause seems to be more resigned.

before

GIRL

Damn, Griffin, you ruined my party dress, again.

After

GIRL

Damn, Griffin, you ruined my party dress,… again.

· Reversing the meaning to make it sharper.

before

GRIFFIN

Sorry Doc. Got you killed.

The female soldier smiles.

WOMAN

Just don’t make a habit of it.

After

GRIFFIN

Sorry Doc. Got you killed.

The female soldier smirks.

WOMAN

Again. I’m getting the feeling that you have something against me.

Taylor

Yeah, like he’s jealous he doesn’t have your talents, Doc.

· Added to lighten the mood.

before

JANICE

I’m good. One down. Got the driver covered.

(to the driver)

Both hands on the steering wheel.

After

JANICE

I’m good. Got the driver covered. The other guy skipped out.

(to the driver)

Both hands on the steering wheel.

· rewording

before

WIDOW

You were supposed to help him. You promised he would get better. That the horrible images would fade.

After

WIDOW

You were supposed to help him. You promised he would get better. That he’d have his life back.

· Clarity

before

FATHER GILLES

Welcome to our family. Have you found a home yet, or are you renting?

TEDDY

We just moved in. We were lucky to find a home for sale in an area called the West End.

After

FATHER GILLES

Welcome to our family. Have you found a home yet, or are you renting?

TEDDY

We were lucky to find a home for sale in an area called the West End. We just moved in.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Dialogue 7 – 8

What did I learn from this?

As a novelist, I use both techniques. Although it is a great reminder and I like how it broken down. The explanation is very clear.

1. Dialogue Skill 7. Dialogue As Action

GIRL

Pull the van over or I’ll ventilate your skull.

Ahead, an unmarked cruiser, the light in the dash, barrels towards them. It comes to a stop, blocking both lanes. The driver breaks hard, and the girl has to brace herself against the back of his seat.

The man’s eyes glare at the girl in the mirror. She gives him a tight smile.

GIRL

Oh, give me a reason, asshole. No one would be upset if I shoot a pedophile in the head. They might even give me a medal.

Police officers surround the van. A voice calls out.

VOICE

Janice. You all right?

The girl, JANICE WILLIAMS, keeps her gun at the man’s head.

JANICE

I’m good. One down. Got the driver covered.

(to the driver)

Both hands on the steering wheel.

The man complies. The driver’s door is yanked open, and a plainclothes cop extends his gun towards the driver.

2. Dialogue Skill 8. Subtext

Within the scene, it has just been revealed that Laura is the vigilante. Her best friend calls her, and the ensuing conversation is fairly one side, as Janice has been tasked to identify and catch the vigilante, aka Laura.

INTERCUT – JANICE’S APARTMENT/LAURA’S STORAGE UNIT

LAURA

Hey, Janice.

JANICE

How’s my bestie?

Laura flinches at the term. She Looks at the pile of folders guiltily.

LAURA

Good. Busy trying to catch up on paperwork.

Janice laughs.

JANICE

Story of my life. Listen. I need to reschedule our dinner. We caught a break in the St. Chris case and I’m probably going to be out of town for a few days.

Laura reaches for a photo of a priest from one of the piles. She studies it.

LAURA

Congratulations. I know the case has been driving you crazy. The sooner you finish it, the sooner you can take a break.

Janice sighs heavily and Laura looks up.

LAURA

You promised, Janice.

There is silence on the line.

JANICE

I can’t. Woods has assigned me to a new task force. I tried to bow out, especially with half of my division out on medical or mental health issues.

LAURA

Do you want a note from your doctor?

Janice laughs.

JANICE

Thanks. Wood told me that this assignment comes from the command staff. They asked for me personally.

LAURA

I still don’t like it. You need a break. What’s so important that they can’t find someone else?

JANICE

You must have heard about Goddard being killed when he was released from prison?

A look of apprehension crosses Laura’s face.

LAURA

Who hasn’t?

JANICE

I was on the original case and dealt with hundreds of death threats, so they want me to hunt down and capture this vigilante before he kills again.

Laura is frozen. Her eyes and mouth are wide at the news. But then she sits up straight and her mouth settles in a determined line.

LAURA

That’s one hell of an opportunity. Best of luck.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Dialog 4-6

What I learned from doing this assignment?

Some more great tools to add to the toolbox for great dialogue. I have used similar tactics in my novels.

Setup/Payoff

JANICE

I’m worried that this might just be the start. The way the public is reacting to Goddard’s death, I don’t think this be an isolated event.

Of course, Janice’s prediction is dead on the money. The next killing is the Judge who took a bribe for a lesser sentence.

Anticipatory Dialogue

MOM

If you go after him, you’ll end up

in prison and then who’ll be here

to protect your daughters?

DAD

But…

MOM

But nothing. Susan needs both of us

to help her move on. I’m even

willing to move if it’ll help.

DAD

Move? We both have jobs. They just

don’t grow on trees you know.

The crayon moves faster across the page, filling in the large area of a unicorn’s flank.

MOM

I don’t care. It’s a small town.

It’s only a matter of time before

she runs into him. How is she

supposed to move on if he’s always

going to be there reminding her of

what happened.

DAD

That’s why, my solution works. I

might have to go to jail, but

she’ll never have to face him

again.

MOM

Damnit. Leave it alone.

Ironic Dialogue

Laura pulls the garrote and leans forward to whisper in her ear. Their eyes meet in the rear-view mirror.

LAURA

Just wanted you to know, that a

hacker friend of mine, was able to

find the account you have for all

your bribery payments. You’ve been

busy.

JUDGE

(hisses)

Let — me — go.

Her look is still defiant.

LAURA

Why? Because you’re a judge?

Panic begins to cross over the judge’s face.

JUDGE

I can — pay you.

Laura shakes her head and offers a sad expression.

LAURA

No, I’m afraid you can’t. First

off, the account has been drained.

You’ll never spend one dollar of

that blood money.

The judge groans as the wire bites a little deeper. Tears gloss over her eyes.

LAURA (CONT’D)

And second, I’ve come for a

different kind of payment. It’s

time you pay for all those children

who looked to you for justice.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Dialogue 1 + 2

What did I learn from doing this assignment?

I do like the attack/counterattack technique. The samples really helped to bring this home.

I had banter already in my draft. However, I tried to tighten it up.

Original

IAN

Okay, Janice, what’s bothering you. I’ve never seen you flinch from a case.

Janice takes a deep breath.

JANICE

Look, Inspector, I get it. This has politics written all over it. But I have twenty-four open cases, some of them time sensitive. Goddard is dead and although what happened is wrong, nothing we expose will bring him back. I have children who are in harm’s way and could suffer if I drop the ball on any of those cases.

IAN

Is there no one in your command that could take over your role for a while?

JANICE

Normally, I wouldn’t have an issue, but my division is short. I have three out on maternity or paternity leave, and another four on stress leave. The issues is we’re not getting any back-filling of personnel. I’ve had no choice but to take an active role in some investigations.

Woods nods and contemplates his hands.

IAN

I appreciate your situation. But your name came from higher up. This could be your only chance to move up. People are watching you.

Janice shows surprise at his admission.

JANICE

(nods)

I’ll try to move some cases around, so I’m ready for you, but I’ll need a week.

Ian nods.

JANICE

I’m worried that this might just be the start. The way the public is reacting to Goddard’s death, I don’t see this be an isolated event.

Afterwards

WOODS

You heard about Goddard.

She shrugs.

JANICE

We’ve all heard. So what?

He stares at her, surprised at her callous answer.

WOODS

His death has stirred up a lot of political interest. You were front and center on that investigation. Any ideas who might want him dead?

Janice looks at him like he’s grown another head.

JANICE

It’s more like, who didn’t want him dead.

She holds up her hand and starts counting fingers.

JANICE

He molested a pile of hockey players with promises of reaching the NHL.

Another finger.

JANICE

He never showed any regret. If anything, he expressed rage that anyone would question his actions.

A third finger.

JANICE

There were over three hundred death threats. None were ever traced enough to press charges.

Fourth.

JANICE

We have no idea just how many victims were out there. And there were the rumors that he had taken digital films of the actual rapes, although they have never surfaced.

Her thumb stood with the other fingers.

JANICE

And finally, his sentencing was a joke. Even after it was reviewed, he served less than a tenth of what he should have served.

Wood nodded with each of her comments.

WOODS

But murder is still murder.

Janice leans back in her chair, truly frustrated.

JANICE

Maybe so, but I’m with Child Exploitation, not Homicide.

(beat)

What am I really here for?

The Superintendent grimaces as he knows he must divulge his real intent.

WOODS

The powers-to-be want to see how you handle a political case. Your arrest record has attracted attention. There are plans to move you upward if you can work as a team player and perform.

Janice bows and holds her head. She sighs.

JANICE

Look, I have no interest in rising any farther than I have. I’m where I always want to be. I’m making a difference.

Woods nods.

WOODS

I know, Janice. And I’ve told my superiors, but they have already made their decision. They are putting together a task force and you are part of it.

Janice makes a fist and looks like she is ready to strike out. Woods leans back.

JANICE

Listen boss, I need you to run interference for me. We’ve just made a breakthrough with the abducted kids from Northern Ontario and there is no way I can drop the ball on this one. We mess this up, a fourth child could die.

He stares at her as if judging if she’s telling him the truth. He nods.

WOODS

One week. That’s all you have.

This time her fist pumps, expresses her happiness.

JANICE

Thanks for having my back. You won’t regret it.

WOODS

Make sure I don’t.

4. Went through the pilot and used the profile to adjust my MC’s dialogue so that it reflected her character. Seems to be more on point, but she’s hiding a major secret that the audience learns early, but her best friend and nemesis doesn’t for a while. So, there isn’t much change until she can speak freely.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Completed P/S Grid #2

What I learned doing this assignment?

I love these two grids and what to look for and what might be a fix. I can see myself using these grids for past scripts and all future stories.

I have managed to increase my page count. The grids did help, by concentrating on highlighting the wounds of one of the main characters.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Completed P/S Grid #1

What I learned doing this assignment?

Because of the setup creating the outline, I’m extremely excited about the draft. My frustrations is the shortness of pages. My first draft had only 41 pages. I have brainstormed to more scenes but am still only at 45. I don’t want to just add fillers or fluff, but great content that enforces the story.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Description

What I learned doing this assignment?

Rather than cutting, Let me know if I should add a line of description. Pg 19.

Need: I need the reader to understand that the dialog between Guang and others is telepathic, not vocal.

The column marches westward. Because the Gurkhas march rather than ride, Adam gives up his horse and marches with the other soldiers. Guang flies along the line to settle beside Adam.

GUANG

Good morning, Adam.

ADAM

Ah… good morning.

FELLOW SOLDIER

(nodding)

Good morning.

GUANG

Adam, If you talk to me with your thoughts, I can hear them. That way, we can talk privately, and you don’t look like you’re talking to yourself.

ADAM

Like this?

GUANG

Perfect.

Guang suddenly zooms off until he is a speck on the horizon. In a voice, no louder nor less clear, he says…

GUANG

You can reach me from anywhere in Heaven.

PG 44. Line: Riku tugs at the ribbon and touches his shin. He extends his hand so she can feel the thumbs up.

Need: Is it clear that she plans on using the ribbon to trip their enemies? Note: They are in pitch darkness and have to be silent.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Has Finished Act 4 + 5

Done! This process has been amazing. I actually completed the first full draft for the pilot over the weekend.

I’m guessing Rule #6 came into play as I found the completed draft to be short on pages. SO, I’m guessing that during the future edits, I’ll be able t beef up the pages.

What did I learn doing this assignment?

As already mentioned, the outline has made the writing fantastic and fast.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Finished Act 3

A. Consistently use.

B. Some use.

C. Need to start using.

D. Haven’t required.

Rule 1: A

Rule 2: A

Rule 3: A

Rule 4: A

Rule 5: D

Rule 6: D

Still motoring. I have not needed some of the rules yet.

What I learned doing this assignment?

Writing has been fast. I did move forward without worrying about completing one section.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Finished Act 2

A. Consistently use.

B. Some use.

C. Need to start using.

D. Haven’t required.

Rule 1: A

Rule 2: A

Rule 3: A

Rule 4: D

Rule 5: D

Rule 6: D

Still going strong. I have not needed some of the rules yet.

What I learned doing this assignment?

Nothing new. The outline is still doing everything I need it to do. Writing has been fast.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Finished Act 1 First Draft

HSWR – I did a full vomit without stopping. I found my outline was all I needed to nail the writing down. Act 1 was done in 2 hours.

What Did I learn doing this assignment?

The work going into the outline was key to nailing down the writing for me. I have never done an outline before, but will definitely doing in the future.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Teaser/ High Speed Writing

Writing the teaser was a breeze. The outline did it all. I just embellished. Very happy with the first draft. When I write, I normally vomit the entire novel or screenplay non-stop, so I have very little urge to think about editing. I wrote 5.5 pages in about an hour and a half.

What did I learn from doing this assignment?

Outlines work well. This is the 2^nd time I use an outline. I first learned about it in the thriller course. The writing of that script has gone extremely fast, as did the teaser. I will also look at using an outline for my novels. I have always called myself a pantser, which is to write by the seat of my pants. It has worked for me, but never this fast.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Amazing Opening Scene

Before

EXT. FOREST – DAY

A chainsaw whines and the trunk of a massive tree cracks. Rather than falling straight, it twists violently and falls towards a group of four teens. Without thought the larger boy, ROB tackles his friends.

The tree crashes where they had just stood, shaking the ground. With a grunt, Rob pulls himself off the other boys. FREDDY rolls away, manages to crash into IAN. Adam stands and holds his hand out to Ian to help the smaller boy up.

ADAM

Quick thinking, Rob.

He looks at the massive tree.

ADAM

We’d be dead if it wasn’t for you.

Rob turns bright crimson at the compliment and shrugs. Adam is struck from behind and falls to the forest floor into a clump of ferns. He turns to find one of the guards, DOBIE glaring at him.

DOBIE

What in hell are you idiots doing? Any of you assholes get killed on my watch, I’ll kill you!

The guard turns and trudges off.

FLASHBACK – COURTROOM – DAY

Adam stands before the JUDGE O’BRIEN, his parents sit behind him, worried looks on their faces.

JUDGE O’BRIEN

Adam, this is not the first time, you’ve been before me for tagging buildings. The fact that you tagged the Police Station, shows me you have absolutely no respect for authority.

Adam’s knuckles clenches as he listens. His jaw is tightly close.

JUDGE O’BRIEN

A tired kid doesn’t stay up all night getting into trouble, which is why I’m sending you to bootcamp, where you will be kept busy and learn new skills. It will also give you time to consider your actions.

Adam glares at the Judge. His parents nod their heads, hoping this will help Adam.

JUDGE O’BRIEN

There’s no internet up there. You’ll be put to work during the day and be too tired to cause any trouble. I know you’re upset at the passing of your Grandfather, but I’m sure he wouldn’t want you acting out this way.

The Judge points at Adam.

JUDGE O’BRIEN

You might want to give it some thought.

ADAM

You leave my Grandfather out of this. He was the only one who cared about what I thought.

He turns and glares at his parents, who sadly shake their heads.

BACK TO PRESENT DAY – FOREST – DAY

The boys pull heavy canvass straps around their shoulders which are attached to an eight foot log. Together they lean forward, dragging the log through the bush. Black Flies and mosquitoes swarm around their heads.

They stagger under the weight of the log, slipping and falling in the black muck which squirts a marsh. They are soon covered in the slime. Wiping sweat from their faces only spreads the mud across their faces.

In the distance, a metallic clang of the kitchen bell signals lunch and they pull with more urgency. They break out of the forest and angle their path to a palisade that is being built around the camp.

After dropping the log into the trench that has been dug for it, the four drop the harnesses and stagger to the lake to wash off. Adam submerges into the cool water. When he rises, Ian begins scrubbing his back of the caked-on mud.

IAN

(giggles)

Only bug bites left.

Adam ducks under the water to rid himself of any mud. He rises and wipes at the mud on Ian’s back. Ian is a small boy.

I’ve had gotten notes for this script already and knew I had to fix the opening. There are a few issues, so I look forward to this assignment. As it stands, it takes too long to reach the inciting incident. It does a good job of introducing the characters but takes too long.

I first explored the ‘Shocking Opening.’ I need to show the abuse of the guards against the teens in the juvenile boot camp. To do this, I was planning on having a guard doing a beat-down on one kid. My protagonist would stop the abuse, showing his bravery and leadership.

The second opening I looked at was the ‘Intriguing scene from another place in the movie.’ I could have chosen a battle scene and left it hanging with our hero in danger, but I’m not a big fan of this strategy as it gets our hearts pumping but more than often falls flat. If I were a better writer like the fellow who wrote Breaking Bad, I might have given it more thought.

The third opening I tried was the ‘plunge us deep into a unique world.’ It is the opening I decided to use as it leaves a lot of suspense and questions that the viewer will want to see answered. I give you a glimpse of what is happening in heaven. From there, I introduce you to the protagonist.

After

EXT. BATTLEFIELD – DAY

SALADIN stands panting, his weight on the guard of his sword. Sweat drips from his hair and beard. His eyes take in the surrounding carnage. The carcasses of both enemy monsters and men lie tangled together in heaps.

Survivors move through the field dispatching wounded enemy or assisting injured brother-in-arms. Monks offer ladles of water to the soldiers. Saladin turns as he hears his name called out.

KING RICHARD walks towards him, his expression pained. Saladin clasps the King’s arm and pulls his friend into an enormous hug.

SALADIN

I am glad to see you alive, my friend. There was a time I thought they would break through our defenses.

KING RICHARD

Has it become desperate enough to send out the Sentinels?

Saladin’s eyes sweep across the field. He sighs deeply and nods.

SALADIN

They may have been prophesied, but I fear what we ask of these children.

The King reaches his hand out to Saladin.

KING RICHARD

We must have faith.

EXT. GRAVEYARD – DAY

A group stands before a grave site. ADAM (15), solid build with sandy hair. His eyes are two different colors. One blue, the other brown. He stands with his GRANDMOTHER, who is seated in a wheelchair.

Beside her chair lies an older dog who whines as the coffin is lowered. Adam’s father, GEORGE, steps forward and grips the wheelchair. Beside him, his newest girlfriend clings to his arm as her high heels sink into the grass.

GEORGE

Okay Mom, we’ve said our goodbyes. Time to get going. I have a meeting later this afternoon and I still have to drop you off at the home.

GRANDMOTHER

I still don’t understand why I have to sell my home.

GEORGE

We’ve already gone over this. You’re too old to take care of the house and I certainly don’t have the time…

ADAM

I could help Grandma.

His father rolls his eyes.

GEORGE

Oh yeah, sure. Mr. Responsibility. Can’t even get you to cut the lawn.

ADAM

It’s not like you’re ever home to notice, even if I did.

His father rounds on him, his hand reaching to grab his son, before he remembers where he is. He looks around for anyone who might be watching.

GEORGE

(under his breath)

Get in line, Adam or I’ll make your life a living hell.

Adam and his father glare at each other.

A look of apprehension crosses the old lady’s face.

GRANDMOTHER

But what will happen to Scooter?

GEORGE

Well, the home doesn’t accept pets, so he’ll be dropped off at the pound.

A look of terror fills both Adam’s and Grandma’s faces.

ADAM

Dad, you can’t!

Anger reddens his father’s face as he turns to his son.

GEORGE

Enough. It’s time to grow up, Adam. Life is about making hard decisions. I don’t have time for your whining.

ADAM

You’d put Grandma and me down just as quickly if you figured you’d get away with it. Especially if we got in the way of your being re-elected.

His father gets right into Adam’s face.

GEORGE

No, but a boarding school might be a better idea. They might even teach you a little respect.

ADAM

Didn’t anyone ever tell you, Dad. Respect has to be earned. Grandpa was dying and you couldn’t even be bothered to visit. That doesn’t sound like respect to me.

His father lashes out and slaps Adam across the face, almost knocking him from his feet. Grandma cries out.

GRANDMOTHER

No…

Adam’s father turns and roughly grabs the handles of the wheelchair. He shoves the chair forwards across the grass, leaving Adam standing by the grave. The old lady tries to wave at her grandson, but her son pushes her arm down.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Amazing Third Act.

What I have learned?

Although I have not made many changes to the ending as I feel that it does follow the 7 rules, I will use these rules when planning any new projects. By adding this to the outline, there is an opportunity to avoid a week ending.

Adam has great qualities, but his over father has done much damage by never having time for his family and by always pointing out Adam’s faults. We see this in the First Act. Throughout the entire 2^nd Act, Adam does everything that he can to learn to be a leader and make the right decision but is continually doubting himself. As he succeeds in first finding the Staff and learning how to wield it, Adam’s confidence grows. When Ian is killed by the Queen and when Adam loses the staff, he is tested once again.

The confidence he has learned helps him face the Queen, but he still holds himself responsible for Ian’s death. It takes a reminder from one of the leaders that he has the power to fix the problem. With very little hesitation he makes the decision to bring balance to both heavens, thereby returning Ian and all the others who have fallen in the war back to like.

The end of the 2^nd Act find Adam being tortured by the Queen. He believes he has no hope of surviving and that he has lost.

INT. QUEEN’S TENT – NIGHT

The Queen is torturing Adam. Her tent is surrounding by her entire army.

INT. QUEEN’S TENT – LATER

Adam is rescued by he comrades while the human army attacks the camp, causing a diversion.

EXT. CENTER OF HEAVEN – MORNING

Adam finds that the Staff was not lost, but that Rob had managed to rescue it.

EXT. CENTER OF HEAVEN – CONTINUOUS

Adam faces the Queen and her army and forces them to march back to the rift.

EXT. VALLEY OF THE RIFT – DAY

Adam faces the Queen one last time. Defeated, she turns to leave when Freddy attacks and kills her.

EXT. VALLEY OF THE RIFT – AFTERNOON

Once the last of the aliens have gone back to their home world through the rift, Adam uses the Staff to bury the rift so it cannot be used again.

EXT. CENTER OF HEAVEN – MORNING

While the survivors of the war celebrate, Adam grieves for Ian. King Richard reminds him about the power of the Staff and that the remaining task was to bring peace to both heavens.

EXT. PLAINS OF HEAVEN – MORNING

Adam uses the Staff to return everything back to way it was before the Rift was found. This brings back all those who were killed, including the Queen and Ian.

EXT. ABANDON MINING CAMP – DAY

As they return to earth, the group have a meeting with God who thanks them for their help and that the future might hold more challenges.

I am happy with the ending and feel that it does follow the 7 rules mentioned in the lesson. However, I will use this as part of any outline moving forward.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Memorable Line

What I learned from doing this assignment?

The biggest issue was picking the line to choose. I like the list that Hal gave. It was a good guide to find the right place.

The Last Scene

GOD

The future is yours to discover. You might not need the fighting skills, but it may require you to lead, to stand together and take the right path rather than the easier one, and you’ll need the confidence in yourselves to succeed. Your adventure is not over. It is just beginning.

With that, the light fads returning the mining camp into focus.

GOD

(from far off)

I’ll be watching.

The four stand blinking at each other.

IAN

Just beginning? What the heck does He have in store for us?

In the story, Ian was killed. He was brought back through the power of the Staff of Moses after they completed the prophesy of bringing peace to the heavens. I want Ian’s comment to hit harder, especially because he had to die.

GOD

The future is yours to discover. You might not need the fighting skills, but it may require you to lead, to stand together and take the right path rather than the easier one, and you’ll need the confidence in yourselves to succeed. Your adventure is not over. It is just beginning.

With that, the light fads returning the mining camp into focus.

GOD

(from far off)

I’ll be watching.

The four stand blinking at each other.

IAN

Just beginning? I just got a new lease on life. Someone else can pay the ferryman.

Original

EXT. HEAVEN – DAY

Like a familiar cartoon, they watch as a multitude wearing Asian conical hats gather around huge ponds and waterfalls feeding multicolored Koi. Temples and ancient forts are scattered across the land. Fierce Samurai stand, their swords at the ready.

The Islands of the Japans disappear to be replaced by an island surrounded by Viking ships. A long table bursting with a feast is surrounded by Viking warriors gorging themselves while striking out at their neighbors.

The next land mass shows the burnt ruins of an Islamic Mosque, with its dome partially caved in. Saracens work along-side Tempers and modern-day suicide bombers, their chests covered in explosives to shore up the defenses.

Next, a massive golden Buddha rises above the vista. The only blemish is the soot-colored cheeks that come from the burnt ruins at its feet. Monks in yellow and crimson chant together in acceptance of the inevitable.

They pass a perfect replica of both Stonehenge and the Acropolis guarded by English archers and Spartans. A squad of Greeks hammer their short swords against their shields in salute at their passing.

ROB

(awe)

Is this real?

This is a mind-blowing scene that would spook anyone. I want to enforce this, but at the same time have some fun.

EXT. HEAVEN – DAY

Like a familiar cartoon, they watch as a multitude wearing Asian conical hats gather around huge ponds and waterfalls feeding multicolored Koi. Temples and ancient forts are scattered across the land. Fierce Samurai stand, their swords at the ready.

The Islands of the Japans disappear to be replaced by an island surrounded by Viking ships. A long table bursting with a feast is surrounded by Viking warriors gorging themselves while striking out at their neighbors.

The next land mass shows the burnt ruins of an Islamic Mosque, with its dome partially caved in. Saracens work along-side Tempers to shore up the defenses.

Next, a massive golden Buddha rises above the vista. The only blemish is the soot-colored cheeks that come from the burnt ruins at its feet. Monks in yellow and crimson chant together in acceptance of the inevitable.

They pass a perfect replica of both Stonehenge and the Acropolis guarded by English archers and Spartans. A squad of Greeks hammer their short swords against their shields in salute at their passing.

ROB

(awe)

Is this real?

FREDDY

If I see any munchkins, I’m going to lose it.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Outline with Intrigue

What did I learn from doing this assignment?

It highlights all the intrigue that has to show up in the pilot in a clean outline. There could be multiple intrigue in each beat.

TEASER

INT. COURTROOM – DAY – INTRIGUING WORLD

Open Loop: Will the guy attack the girl again?

Mystery: Why was this guy allowed to get away with the attack? What will the outcome do to the girl/family?

Empathy/ Distress: Devastating to the girl/family. The event and the verdict.

PayOff: None

Irony: He is found innocent and then threatens the girl.

Setup: Major catalyst for the series.

INT. HOME – DAY – WOUND

Open Loop: How will this affect Laura/family

Mystery: Who is this girl? – girl will not be identified.

Empathy/ Distress: Horrible for the sister/family.

PayOff: We see what both the verdict and the threat has done to the young girl, Susan.

Irony:

Setup: Major catalyst for the series.

ACT 1

EXT. SKY – DAY – SECRET IDENTITY

Open Loop: Is someone going to be targeted?

Mystery: Who are these people and what are they planning?

Empathy/ Distress: Danger of being shot.

PayOff: We find that the soldier is a doctor.

Irony: A doctor is a crack shot and killer.

Setup: Future action

INT. CLASSROOM – LATER – HIDDEN AGENDA

Open Loop: Is this a cover for some other activity?

Mystery: How many other ‘skills’ does she have?

Empathy/ Distress: Distress for soldiers and 1^st responders.

PayOff: We see why the doctor is doing the training.

Irony: Government sends soldiers to war but then doesn’t want to fund treatment.

Setup: PTSD counselling plays a part in future episodes.

EXT. Street – Day – INTRIGUING WORLD.

Pass 1:

Open Loop: Who is the girl?

Mystery: What do they want with her?

Empathy/ Distress: Fear for the girl.

PayOff: We find out that she’s a cop.

Irony: The little girl kicks the hell out of big guy.

Setup: The world of child abusers.

INT. VAN – SAME TIME – IMMINENT THREAT

Open Loop: Is she the young girl from the teaser?

Mystery:

Empathy/ Distress: Fear for the girl.

PayOff: We find out she is a cop.

Irony: Prey becomes the hunter

Setup: We’re introduced to a major character.

ACT 2

INT. APARTMENT – EVENING

Open Loop: What’s with her searching her own home?

Mystery: Why is she so afraid?

Empathy/ Distress: Alone with no life other than work.

PayOff: Non

Irony: A cop scared in her own home.

Setup: This is the introduction to Janice’s wound.

INT. APARTMENT – LATER – STRANGE BEHAVIOR

Open Loop: Will she be able to save Ryan

Mystery: Who has Ryan and where.

Empathy/ Distress: Fear for child.

PayOff: The job doesn’t stop at quitting time for Janice.

Irony: Both want Ryan for different reasons

Setup: Introduction to Ryan’s story.

INT. OFFICE – DAY – INTRIGUING WORLD

Open Loop: Will they find Ryan?

Mystery: Why have the children been taken and killed?

Empathy/ Distress: Fear and anxiety for Ryan.

PayOff: none

Irony: Killer leaves a religious symbol and then kills children.

Setup: Hunt for children

INT. APARTMENT – EVENING – CONSPIRACY

Open Loop: Will Janice take time off?

Mystery: Will she solve the case?

Empathy/ Distress: Fear for Janice’s mental health.

PayOff: we learn a little about Janice’s wound

Irony: Abused as a child, she now hunts child abusers.

Setup: The death of the cop.

ACT 3

INT. FUNERAL – DAY – WOUND

Open Loop: What will Laura do?

Mystery: What else could Laura have done?

Empathy/ Distress: Sadness for police family. Pain for Laura.

PayOff: We find that the cop killed himself over images of children being abused.

Irony: Protectors need saving

Setup: Future of the series.

INT. STORAGE LOCKER. – HIDDEN LAYER

Open Loop: What is Laura going to do?

Mystery: Has she struck before?

Empathy/ Distress: We see her suffering, but the sight of the weapons is scary.

PayOff: We see Laura has been planning something.

Irony: A doctor who helps people, is planning something violent.

Setup: The rest of the series.

EXT. CHURCH PICNIC – DAY – CONSPIRACY

Open Loop: Will the priest be caught? Will Ryan be saved. Will he go after the little girl?

Mystery: Why is he doing this?

Empathy/ Distress: Fear for the children. Disgust for the priest.

PayOff: We find out what’s happened to Ryan

Irony: A priest who is suppose to offer peace, offers abuse and death. The church is suppose to offer sanctuary is actually a prison.

Setup: Hunt for the Priest

Act 4

INT. JAIL – DAY – DECEPTION

Open Loop: What will happen to him?

Mystery: Why did this guy serve so little time? Who setup the recorder and why?

Empathy/ Distress: Disgust

PayOff: none

Irony: police have to protect criminal

Setup: the digital recorder had to be placed there for some reason

EXT. – AIRPORT – AFTERNOON – SECRET IDENTITY

Open Loop: What will this event cause?

Mystery: How did Laura know where he would land?

Empathy/ Distress: Sense of justice.

PayOff: Died for his sins

Irony: tried to run, but justice caught up to him.

Setup: The rest of the series.

INT – POLICE HQ – LATER – MYSTERY

Open Loop: Will she be able to solve the case? What is the task force for?

Mystery: Why her?

Empathy/ Distress: Anxiety

PayOff: None

Irony: She’s on a life-or-death case and they want to pull her off of it.

Setup: Hunt for Ryan will intensify.

ACT 5.

INT. STORAGE LOCKER – NIGHT – HIDDEN AGENDA

Open Loop: Are these the people she plans on killing? Who are they? Will Janice catch Laura?

Mystery: Has she killed others?

Empathy/ Distress: Shock and anxiety

PayOff: We see what Laura plans on doing

Irony: Her best friend has been tagged to hunt and stop her.

Setup: The conflict for the rest of the season.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Scene Requirements

What I learned from doing this assignment?

Once these requirements were identified, the summary wrote itself.

Teaser

INT. COURTROOM – DAY

Pass 1:

· Start: The family of a young girl waits to hear the verdict on a child abuse charge.

· Challenging Situation: The child has been molested.

· Conflict: guilty/or not guilty verdict.

· Action: The judge acquits the defendant.

· Finish: The child weeps.

Pass 2:

The family of a young girl, SUSAN, waits to hear the verdict on a child abuse charge. The defendant looks confident and even arrogant as he waits for the verdict. The girl is anxious, biting her lip. Mon and dad hold hands, worried. The defendant had molested the young teen (16) and this is the end of two years of legal wrangling to find justice. The judge acquits the defendant. It devastated the family and girl. The defendant is excited and leans to the girl as he leaves the courtroom and tells that he will be seeing her. She breaks down.

INT. HOME – DAY

Pass 1:

· Start: A young girl, LAURA, is doing homework and her mother asks her to get her sister for supper.

· Challenging Situation: This is hours after the court case.

· Conflict: Laura finds her sister hanging in the closet.

· Action: Laura tries desperately to lift her sister so she can breathe but is too weak.

· Finish: Laura is screams for help.

Pass 2:

A young girl, LAURA, is doing homework and her mother asks her to get her sister for supper. She walks up the stairs and enters her sister’s bedroom. The bed is empty. Looking around, she sees her sister hanging by her neck in the closet. Laura screams and runs to her sister. She grabs her legs, trying to lift her sister so she can breathe, but is too weak and is unable to. She is screaming for help.

Act 1

EXT. Sky – Day

Pass 1:

· Start: A group of soldiers lined up inside a military plane. The green light goes on and they jump.

· Challenging Situation: This is a training exercise. They land and advance on a building, guns at the ready

· Conflict: Targets spring up and confront the soldiers.

· Action: A female soldier in the lead takes out targets with the help of her team.

· Finish: The lights go on at the end of the training and the soldier pulls off her helmet to release a long blonde hair. One soldier compliments her.

Pass 2.

A group of soldiers are lined up inside a military plane. The green light goes on and they jump. This is a training exercise. They land and advance on a building, guns at the ready. Targets spring up and confront the soldiers. Together, the team takes out targets. The lights go on at the end of the training and the soldier pulls off her helmet to release a long blonde hair. One soldier compliments her and addresses her as ‘Doc..

INT. Classroom – Later

Pass 1:

· Start: The ‘Doc’ is a PTSD psychiatrist who is begins speaking about triggers and signs of PTSD.

· Challenging Situation: What happens on the battlefield can affect soldiers afterwards.

· Conflict: Recognition and early treatment is the best way to conquer PTSD and many soldiers and 1^st responders are not getting treatment..

· Action: She teaches them how to help each other.

· Finish: One soldier mentions her competence at the training course and asks why she does it. She tells him that it is important that she can experience what they go through.

Pass 2:

The female solider turns out to be Laura Amour, a PTSD psychiatrist. What happens on the battlefield can affect soldiers afterwards. Recognition and early treatment is the best way to conquer PTSD and many soldiers and 1^st responders are not getting treatment. She talks about the signs to watch out for and how to get assistance. When asked why she goes through the training, she tells the group that to understand what the soldiers go through; she needs to understand their job.

EXT. Street – Day

Pass 1:

· Start: a young girl is standing alone on a busy street.

· Challenging Situation: A van slides to the curb and the side door opens.

· Conflict: A man grabs the girl and throws her into the van.

· Action: The girls tries to fight but is overpowered by the man.

· Finish: The van takes off with the girl inside.

Pass 2:

A young girl waits on a street corner alone. A van slides in front of her and the door is flung open. A man grabs the girl. She tries to fight but he is much stronger and he throws her into the van. The vehicle takes off.

INT. VAN – Same Time

Pass 1:

· Start: The girl is in the van.

· Challenging Situation: He is bigger than her.

· Conflict: She fights him.

· Action: She beats the hell out of him.

· Finish: She puts her pistol to the head of the driver and tells him she is police and he’s to pull over. A number of police cars block his progress.

Pass 2:

The young girl, JANICE, turns out to be a police officer, and a fight ensues. He is bigger, but between the fighting and erratic driving, the woman subdues the man. She crawls up to the front of the van and puts her pistol against the head of the driver and tells him to pull over. The van is surrounded by police vehicles that block his progress.

Act 2

INT. APARTMENT – EVENING

Pass 1:

· Start: Janice unlocks her apartment door and draws her weapon.

· Challenging Situation: She does a search of her apartment as if scared of being attacked.

· Conflict: She’s looking for an intruder.

· Action: She searches her entire apartment, including closets.

· Finish: Sighs and puts her gun on the counter.

Pass 2:

Janice unlocks her apartment door and draws her gun. She searches her home, including closets with the gun drawn as if scared of being attacked. She’s looking for an intruder. When the place is clear, she relaxes. Even while she cooks, the gun is always nearby. When she brings her supper to the living room where her computer is located, she brings the gun.

INT. Apartment – Later

Pass 1:

· Start: With her food half eaten, Janice surfs the web.

· Challenging Situation: She’s looking for evidence of child abuse.

· Conflict: A child has been abducted.

· Action: She finds a video of a young boy, Ryan, (12) Moving in a dark cell.

· Finish: A voice explains that the child has 90 days to live.

Pass 2:

With her food half eaten, Janice surfs the web. She’s looking for evidence of child abuse and information of a child that has been abducted. She gets a notice. Moving to the notice, she finds a video of a young boy, Ryan, (12) moving in a dark cell. A voice explains that the child has 90 days to live.

INT. OFFICE – DAY

Pass 1:

· Start: Janice walks into an office with a group of detectives.

· Challenging Situation: They have 90 days to find Ryan.

· Conflict: There have been other children who have been killed on live video by the perpetrator.

· Action: They brainstorm a number of ideas and Janice assigns the search to specific cops.

· Finish: Janice is staring at the picture of Ryan and the other children on the wall.

Pass 2:

Janice gathers the other team members, and they talk about Ryan’s case. They have 90 days to find him. They know that he kidnapper has assaulted and killed the other children on live video in the past. They go over cases details and brainstorm new ideas of inquiry. Janice assigns tasks to the team members. She is left staring at the photos if Ryan and the other children which are taped to the wall.

INT. Apartment – Evening

Pass 1:

· Start: Laura and Janice are having supper.

· Challenging Situation: Janice is frustrated with the case she’s working on.

· Conflict: They talk about Janice’s past trauma and her PTSD.

· Action: Laura forces Janice to promise to take a break for her own sanity after this case.

· Finish: Laura gets a call to inform her that one of her patients, a cop has committed suicide due to PTSD.

Pass 2:

Janice and Laura are friends having dinner. Janice is frustrated with the case she’s working on. Laura talks about Janice’s past trauma and her PTSD. Laura forces Janice to promise to take a break for her own sanity after this case. Laura gets a call to inform her that one of her patients, a cop has committed suicide due to PTSD.

Act 3

INT. Funeral – Day

Pass 1:

· Start: Massive police funeral. Laura is there as the police councillor, while Janice is there as a cop.

· Challenging Situation: The loss of a police officer is felt by all.

· Conflict: The widow accuses Laura of not doing enough to save her husband.

· Action: She slaps Laura in the face.

· Finish: Laura is left crying, while Janice watches, unable to get to her friend.

Pass 2:

Massive police funeral. Laura is there as the police councillor, while Janice is there as a cop. Losing a police officer is felt by all. We find out more details on what the cop was working on. As the family leaves, the wife stops and accuses Laura of not doing enough to save her husband. Slaps Laura in the face. Laura is left crying, while Janice watches, unable to get to her friend.

INT. Storage locker.

Pass 1:

· Start: Laura slides open a storage unit and enters.

· Challenging Situation: The accusation and slap has pushed her to contemplate violence.

· Conflict: internal

· Action: She begins loading bullets into a clip.

· Finish: Tears are falling down her cheeks.

Pass 2:

Laura slides open a storage unit and enters. The unit is lined with weapons. The accusation and slap have pushed her to contemplate violence. She grits her teeth as she contemplates the weapons. She begins loading bullets into a clip, tears falling down her cheeks.

EXT. Church Picnic – DAY

Pass 1:

· Start: A summer fundraising picnic takes place in a church parking lot.

· Challenging Situation: He becomes interested in the youngest child, a little girl.

· Conflict: The priest must hide his intentions.

· Action: The priest takes photos of the young girl.

· Finish: When he goes into the church, he puts her picture above a monitor that shows a young boy in a holding cell. The boy is Ryan.

Pass 2:

A church fundraising picnic is on. A priest meets a new family that has moved into the neighborhood. He becomes interested in the youngest child, a little girl. He must hide his interest and intentions. He takes her picture. When he goes into the church, he puts her picture above a monitor that shows a young boy in a holding cell. The boy is Ryan.

Act 4

INT. JAIL – DAY

Pass 1:

· Start: An inmate speaks with his lawyer in prison prior to his release.

· Challenging Situation: Someone has delivered a death threat with new evidence of child abuse.

· Conflict: The child abuser must leave the prison without getting killed.

· Action: The lawyer has negotiated for the convict to be flown to the airport rather than leave by the gates due to the protest and death threats.

· Finish: There is a digital recorder under the desk in the room.

Pass 2:

An inmate speaks with his lawyer in prison prior to his release. There has been a death threat towards the inmate and new evidence of more child abuse. Lawyer has negotiated a flight to the airport rather than risk his safety. We see a digital recorder under the desk in the visitor’s room.

EXT. – AIRPORT – Afternoon

Pass 1:

· Start: We watch the helicopter arrive through the lens of a rifle scope.

· Challenging Situation: The child abuser only cares about leaving the country before new charges are served.

· Conflict: He doesn’t care about the death threat.

· Action: The child abuser is assassinated by a hi-power rifle.

· Finish: Laura drops the rifle and leaves.

Pass 2:

We watch the helicopter arrive through the lens of a rifle scope. The child abuser only cares about leaving the country before new charges are served. He doesn’t care about the death threat. A hi-power rifle assassinates the child abuser. Laura drops the rifle and leaves.

INT – POLICE HQ – Later

Pass 1:

· Start: Janice is in an office with her superior.

· Challenging Situation: She’s trying to explain that her unit is short handed and far too busy for her to take on another task.

· Conflict: The superior wants her on a task force

· Action: He gives her one week to clean up her current cases, but that she will be on the task force.

· Finish: Janice surrenders.

Pass 2:

Janice is with her boss and trying to explain that she is working on a time sensitive case and cannot be taken off of it for a new assignment. The superior wants her on a new task force. He gives her one week to clean up her current cases, but she will be on the task force. Janice surrenders, knowing she has to follow orders.

Act 5.

INT. Storage Locker – night

Pass 1:

· Start: Laura has a number of photographs and files on a table. The ex-con’s photo is on the wall, with a red ‘x’ crossed over it. She lifts one file as the phone rings.

· Challenging Situation: Janice has been assigned to the task force set up to hunt down the vigilante that killed the child abuser.

· Conflict: Laura will be up against her best friend.

· Action: Laura hangs up slowly and looks at the wall of mug shots.

· Finish: Laura looks shocked.

Pass 2:

Laura has a number of photographs and files on a table. The ex-con’s photo is on the wall, with a red ‘x’ crossed over it. She lifts one file as the phone rings. It’s Janice calling to cancel dinner plans because she has one week to close her case because of the new assignment. She has been tagged to hunt down the vigilante. Laura will be up against her best friend. Laura hangs up slowly and looks at the wall of mug shots. Laura is shocked.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden loves separating character dialogue

What I learned from doing this assignment?

I found that by adding some pointed dialog, the character traits were emphasised.

Character Profile: Adam

Role: Leader and wielder of the Staff of Moses

Core character Traits

· Loyal

· Courageous

· Protective

· Lacks confidence in himself

Character Subtext Logline:

Adam is a born leader who need to learn to trust in himself. He is protective of those he considers friends.

Before

A black clad Ninja trots up to them. He bows deeply.

NINJA

Adam-San, Hattori sends his compliments and asks if you have seen Ian?

ADAM

Not since supper yesterday.

NINJA

After his training last night, he was headed to bed, but his bedroll has not been disturbed and he is not in camp.

After

A black clad Ninja trots up to them. He bows deeply.

NINJA

Adam-San, Hattori sends his compliments and asks if you have seen Ian?

ADAM

Not since supper yesterday.

NINJA

After his training last night, he was headed to bed, but his bedroll has not been disturbed and he is not in camp.

Adam gathers up his weapons.

ADAM

Tell Hattori, that I am ready to head out in search of him. Ian is my friend, which makes him my responsibility.

Before

As if called, Guang enters the courtyard and spins on Adam’s shoulder.

ADAM

It’s time to return.

Guang wraps his light around him and before he’s ready, the orb is rocketing towards the setting sun.

After

As if called, Guang enters the courtyard and spins on Adam’s shoulder.

Adam squares his shoulders.

ADAM

It’s time to return. I will learn this. After all we’ve already faced, I won’t quit when we’re this close.

Guang wraps his light around him and before he’s ready, the orb is rocketing towards the setting sun.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Beat Sheet

What I learned from this assignment?

It’s great to see the entire thing spread out in the beat sheet. From the previous lessons, it was very easy to put this together.

· A Story = Killing child abusers.

· B Story = Laura and Janice’s friendship.

· C Story = The priest.

Teaser

INT. COURTROOM – DAY

The judge reads his verdict in a child abuse case and acquits the defendant. The defense is all happy. The prosecution is upset, and it devastates the family of the young teen.

INT. HOME – DAY

Mother asks her daughter to run up and tell her sister that supper is ready. The girl races up the stairs and enters a bedroom. She finds her sister hanging in the closet. She tries unsuccessfully to save her sister, screaming for help.

Act 1

EXT. Sky – Day

A group of soldiers have jumped from an airplane. On landing, they assault a building. The lead soldier, a woman, works alongside her teammates, shooting targets throughout the building and rescue two victims. It is a training exercise.

INT. Classroom – Later

The female solider turns out to be Laura Amour, a PTSD psychiatrist. She talks about the signs to watch out for and how to get assistance. When asked why she goes through the training, she tells the group that to understand what the soldiers go through; she needs to understand their job.

EXT. Street – Day

A young girl waits on a street corner. A van slides in front of her and a man grabs the girl and throws her into the van. The vehicle takes off.

INT. VAN – Same Time

The young girl turns out to be a police officer, and a fight ensues. She kills the hell out of the guy and then puts a gun against the driver’s head. Other police surround the vehicle. The police officer is Janice Williams.

Act 2

INT. APARTMENT – EVENING

Janice unlocks her apartment door and draws her gun. She searches her home with the gun drawn. Only when clear does she relax. Even while she cooks, the gun is always nearby. When she brings her supper to the living room where her computer is set up, she brings the gun.

INT. Apartment – Later

With her food half eaten, Janice surfs the web. She gets a notice. Moving to the notice, she finds a video of a young boy, Ryan, (12) moving in a dark cell. A voice explains that the child has 90 days to live.

INT. OFFICE – DAY

Janice gathers the other team members, and they talk about Ryan’s case. His picture is on the whiteboards. Go over details. Brainstorm and assign follow-up.

INT. Apartment – Evening

Janice and Laura are friends having dinner. Speak about Ryan. Laura talks about Janice’s past and how she needs to take time for herself. Laura gets a call that one of her patients, another cop, has committed suicide.

Act 3

INT. Funeral – Day

Funeral procession at the church. We find out more details on what the cop was working on. As the family leaves, the wife stops and accuses Laura of not doing enough to save her husband. Slaps Laura.

INT. Storage locker.

Laura enters a unit. It is lined with weapons. She begins loading bullets into a clip, tears falling down her cheeks.

EXT. Church Picnic – DAY

A church fundraising picnic is on. A priest meets a new family that has moved into the neighborhood. He becomes interested in the youngest child, a little girl and takes her picture. When he goes into the church, he puts her picture above a monitor that shows a young boy in a holding cell. The boy is Ryan.

Act 4

INT. JAIL – DAY

An inmate speaks with his lawyer. Death threat and possible new charges on the way. Lawyer has negotiated a flight to the airport rather than risk his safety. We see a digital recorder under the desk in the visitor’s room.

EXT. – AIRPORT – Afternoon

As the helicopter drops off the ex-con and his lawyer, he is assassinated. Laura puts down the rifle and leaves.

INT – POLICE HQ – Later

Janice is with her boss and trying to explain that she is working on a time sensitive case and cannot be taken off of it for a new assignment.

Act 5.

INT. Storage Locker – night

Laura has a number of photographs and files on a table. The ex-con’s photo is on the wall, with a red ‘x’ crossed over it. She lifts one file as the phone rings. It’s Janice calling to cancel dinner plans because she has one week to close her case because of the new assignment. She has been tagged to hunt down the vigilante. Laura is shocked.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Elevated Scene Structures

What I learned from doing this assignment?

I was very easy to intensify the scene using this technique. I will definitely go through my entire script and see where I can utilize this method. It was especially important as the scene was an introduction to my MC, Adam.

EXT. GRAVEYARD – DAY

A group stands before a grave site. ADAM, (15) solid build with sandy hair, stands with his GRANDMOTHER, who is seated in a wheelchair. Beside her chair lies an older dog who stares at the coffin being lowered.

As the coffin is lowered, Adam’s father, George, steps forward and grips the wheelchair. Beside him, his newest girlfriend clings to his arm as her high heels sink into the grass.

FATHER

Okay Mom, we’ve said our goodbyes. Time to get going. I have a business meeting later this afternoon and I still have to drop you off at the home.

GRANDMOTHER

I still don’t understand why I have to sell my home.

FATHER

We’ve already gone over this. You’re too old to take care of the house and I certainly don’t have the time…

ADAM

I could help Grandma.

His father rolls his eyes.

FATHER

Oh yeah, sure. Mr. Responsibility. Can’t even get you to cut the lawn.

A look of apprehension crosses the old lady’s face.

GRANDMOTHER

But what will happen to Scooter?

FATHER

Well, the home doesn’t accept pets, so he’ll be dropped off at the pound.

A look of terror fills both Adam’s and Grandma’s faces.

ADAM

Dad, you can’t!

Anger reddens his father’s face as he turns to his son.

FATHER

Enough. It’s time to grow up, Adam. Life is about making hard decisions. I don’t have time for your whining.

Components

1. Adam’s father is only concerned about himself.

2. Adam stands up for his grandmother.

3. Adam stands up for the dog.

I decided to use the Competitive Agendas to ramp up the conflict between Adam and his father and to show that Adam is honorable and compassionate.

EXT. GRAVEYARD – DAY

A group stands before a grave site. ADAM, (15) solid build with sandy hair, stands with his GRANDMOTHER, who is seated in a wheelchair. Beside her chair lies an older dog whining as the coffin being lowered.

As the coffin is lowered, Adam’s father, George, steps forward and grips the wheelchair. Beside him, his newest girlfriend clings to his arm as her high heels sink into the grass.

FATHER

Okay Mom, we’ve said our goodbyes. Time to get going. I have a meeting later this afternoon and I still have to drop you off at the home.

GRANDMOTHER

I still don’t understand why I have to sell my home.

FATHER

We’ve already gone over this. You’re too old to take care of the house and I certainly don’t have the time…

ADAM

I could help Grandma.

His father rolls his eyes.

FATHER

Oh yeah, sure. Mr. Responsibility. Can’t even get you to cut the lawn.

ADAM

It’s not like you’re ever home to notice, even if I did.

His father rounds on him, his hand reaching to grab his son, before he remembers where he is. He looks around for anyone who might be watching.

FATHER

(under his breath)

Get in line, Adam or I’ll make your life a living hell.

Adam and his father glare at each other.

A look of apprehension crosses the old lady’s face.

GRANDMOTHER

But what will happen to Scooter?

FATHER

Well, the home doesn’t accept pets, so he’ll be dropped off at the pound.

A look of terror fills both Adam’s and Grandma’s faces.

ADAM

Dad, you can’t!

Anger reddens his father’s face as he turns to his son.

FATHER

Enough. It’s time to grow up, Adam. Life is about making hard decisions. I don’t have time for your whining.

ADAM

You’d put Grandma and me down just as quickly if you figured you’d get away with it. Especially if we got in the way of your being re-elected.

His father gets right into Adam’s face.

FATHER

No, but a boarding school might be a better idea. They might even teach you a little respect.

ADAM

What the heck do you know about respect. Grandpa was dying and you couldn’t even be bothered to visit. You don’t give a shit about anyone but yourself.

His father slaps Adam across the face, almost knocking him from his feet. Grandma cries out.

GRANDMOTHER

No…

Adam’s father turns and roughly grabs the handles of the wheelchair. He shoves the chair forwards across the grass, leaving Adam standing by the grave. The old lady tries to wave at her grandson, but her son pushes her arm down.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Empathy-Distress

What did I learn from doing this assignment?

I had a lot of empathy and distress in the pilot, but it was good to consciously identify it.

Teaser

The teaser is a setup for further in the season. After a court case that allows a child abuser to be acquitted, the victim commits suicide and her sister finds her and attempts, unsuccessfully to save her. Undeserved misfortune – for both girls & Major Loss

Act 1

We see a woman run through a tactical shooter’s training course with fantastic skill. Laura is that she is a doctor who specializes in PTSD, very caring.

A youth is abducted off the street. The young girl turns out to be Janice, an undercover police officer, and she beats the hell out of the perv. External Character Conflict

Act 2

Janice searches her own home with a gun. She hides her wound by being a work acholic. Brings their wounds present.

Janice finds a child, Ryan, who has 90 days left to live, posted on the dark web. Undeserved misfortune

Both Janice and Laura are friends.

Act 2 Turning point – Laura’s patient commits suicide. Major Loss

Act 3

Widow blames Laura for not helping her husband. External Character conflicts.

Laura breaks down, but then she opens a closet full of weapons. Forced Decision.

Laura plans on taking the law into her own hands.

Act 4

A man is being released from prison.

The death threat came with information of secret tapes of his victims. Exposed.

Because of the threat, they fly the prisoner to the nearest airport where he plans on escaping the country before police can charge him on new charges. Forced Decision.

The vigilante is waiting for him.

ACT 4 TP – he is assassinated.

Act 5

Laura is the vigilante

Laura plans on continuing her crusade

Janice is assigned to hunt the vigilante. External character conflicts.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Open Looks and Mysteries

What did I learn from this assignment?

It is easy to identify the mysteries and open loops and I had already had a fair number in my BWF.

Teaser Main Mystery: Who is the girl who finds the other who has committed suicide?

Sub-Mysteries: Why would Janice search her own apartment with a gun drawn?

Main Open Looks: Will Janice be able to capture Laura?

Sub-Open Loops: Will Janice be able to save Ryan?

Teaser

The teaser is a setup for further in the season. Another girl (Intrigue Mystery – who is the girl)(wound) finds her and tries to save her sister after she commits suicide because of sexual assault.

M: Who is the young girl that is trying to save the other?

OL: What happens to her?

OL: How does it affect her?

Act 1

We see a woman (Intrigue – who is the woman and why is she so skilled.) run through a tactical shooter’s training course with fantastic skill. Laura is that she is a doctor who specializes in PTSD, very caring.

M: Who is the woman and where did she get the skills?

OL: What does a psychiatrist need these types of skill for?

A young teen (Intrigue – Who is the girl and why) is abducted off the street. Janice is an undercover police officer, and she beats the hell out of the perv.

OL: Who is the child?

OL: Why is the man grabbing her and what does he want?

Act 2

Intrigue – secret wound – Janice searches her own home with a gun. She hides her wound by being a work acholic.

M: Why is searching her home for?

Intrigue World – Finds a child, Ryan, who has 90 days left to live, posted on the dark web.

M: Who has the kid?

OL: What are they doing to him?

OL: Will Janice be able to save him>

Intrigue – hidden Layer Both women are friends.

OL: What drew these women to become friends?

Act 2 TP – Laura’s patient commits suicide.

M: Why did he commit suicide?

OL: How will it affect Laura?

Act 3

Intrigue Accusation – Widow blames Laura for not helping her husband.

Intrigue Wound. Laura breaks down, but then

Intrigue secret – she opens a closet full of weapons.

M: Why does she have all the weapons?

What will she do with them?

Act 3 TP– Laura plans on taking the law into her own hands.

Act 4

Intrigue: Mystery – A man is being released from prison.

M: Who is the man and why is he in prison?

Intrigue: secret – The death threat came with information of secret tapes of his victims.

OL: Who has sent the death threat and why?

OL: What secret tapes?

Intrigue: forced behavior – Because of the threat, they flew the prisoner to the nearest airport where he plans on escaping the country before police can charge him on new charges.

Intrigue mystery – Laura is waiting for him

M: how did she know that he would be flown to the airport?

ACT 4 TP – Laura assassinates him.

Act 5

Intrigue: Secret identity – Laura is the vigilante

M: Why?

Intrigue: hidden agenda – Laura plans on continuing her crusade

Act 5 TP-Janice is assigned to hunt the vigilante.

OL: Will Laura be able to continue her crusade?

OL: Will Janice catch her?

OL: Will Laura be killed or arrested?

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Stacking Intrigue

What I learn from doing this lesson?

Having learned this in the thriller course, it came a lot easier, and I had been previously thinking how best to present information, plot, and character intrigues.

Teaser

The teaser is a setup for further in the season. Another girl (Intrigue Mystery – who is the girl)(wound) her sister after she commits suicide because of sexual assault.

Act 1

We see a woman (Intrigue – who is the woman and why is she so skilled.) run through a tactical shooter’s training course with fantastic skill. Laura is that she is a doctor who specializes in PTSD, very caring.

A young child (Intrigue – Who is the girl and why) is abducted off the street. Janice is an undercover police officer, and she beats the hell out of the perv.

Act 2

Intrigue – secret Janice searches her own home with a gun. She hides her wound by being a work acholic.

Intrigue World – Finds a child, Ryan, who has 90 days left to live, posted on the dark web.

Intrigue – hidden Layer Both women are friends.

Act 2 Turning point – Laura’s patient commits suicide.

Act 3

Intrigue Accusation – Widow blames Laura for not helping her husband.

Intrigue Wound. Laura breaks down, but then

Intrigue secret – she opens a closet full of weapons.

Act 3 Turning Point – Laura plans on taking the law into her own hands.

Act 4

Intrigue: Mystery – A man is being released from prison.

Intrigue: secret – The death threat came with information of secret tapes of his victims.

Intrigue: forced behavior – Because of the threat, they flew the prisoner to the nearest airport where he plans on escaping the country before police can charge him on new charges.

Intrigue mystery – Laura is waiting for him – how did she know?

ACT 4 TP – he is assassinated.

Act 5

Intrigue: Secret identity – Laura is the vigilante

Intrigue: hidden agenda – Laura plans on continuing her crusade

Act 5 Turning Point: Janice is assigned to hunt the vigilante.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Meaningful Action

What I learned from this lesson?

The action can display the essence of the scene. Adds more depth and flavor.

BEFORE

Rob and Ian join Adam and together they practice archery until they can no longer pull back on the string. Freddy uses a spear instead, aiming at his own targets.

ROB

It’s a lot harder to shoot from horseback. It’s all in the timing.

ADAM

Horseback! I can even hit the target standing still. I can’t imagine shooting while moving.

ROB

Don’t feel bad. White Knife, the brave who has been teaching me, is fantastic and never misses. Of course, he’s been shooting for over 200 years.

ADAM

(chuckles)

Guess we have to practice some more.

AFTER

Rob and Ian join Adam and together they practice archery until they can no longer pull back on the string. Freddy uses a spear instead, aiming at his own targets.

ROB

It’s a lot harder to shoot from horseback. It’s all in the timing.

ADAM

Horseback! I can even hit the target standing still. I can’t imagine shooting while moving.

ROB

Don’t feel bad. White Knife, the brave who has been teaching me, is fantastic and never misses. Of course, he’s been shooting for over 200 years.

ADAM

(chuckles)

Guess we have to practice some more.

Gaje fires three arrows in fast secession. He splits both Rob’s and Adam’s arrows and buries the last barb into the end of Freddy’s spear.

GAJE

More shooting of arrows instead of mouths

makes for a better archer.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Reveals

What I learn from doing this lesson?

Having learned this in the thriller course, it came a lot easier, and I had been previously thinking how best to present information, plot, and character reveals.

Teaser

The teaser is a setup for further in the season. Laura, who will be the vigilante, finds her sister after she commits suicide because of sexual assault. Cover Up as we do not mention that it’s Laura.

Act 1

We see Laura run through a tactical shooter’s training course with fantastic skill. Cover The reveal is that she is a doctor who specializes in PTSD, very caring.

A young child is abducted off the street. A Situational layer – A trap The reveal is that Janice is an undercover police officer, and she beats the hell out of the perv.

Act 2

Janice searches her own home with a gun. Wound. She hides her wound by being a work acholic. Finds a child, Ryan, who has 90 days left to live, posted on the dark web. Reveal

Both women are friends. Reveal. Laura’s patient commits suicide. Wound.

Act 3

Widow blames Laura for not helping her husband. Wound. Laura breaks down, but then she opens a closet full of weapons. Reveal secret identity.

Act 4

A child abuser is released from prison and assassinated. Situational Layer – trap. Laura is the vigilante – Reveal – secret identity.

Janice is assigned to a task force. She has one week to close the current case dealing with Ryan. Situational Layer – resource drys up or is taken away.

Act 5

Mystery revealed. Laura finds out that her best friend has been assigned to hunt her down.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Title Formats

Wasn’t sure where to post this, but because it’s part of the bible, I figured I’d drop it here.

Titles

Currently: In Defense of Innocence

Hook: When the criminals have more rights than the victims, a PTSD psychiatrist starts hunting child abusers.

<s>Doing What’s Right</s>

<s>The Law, be Damned.</s>

<s>Justice for the Children</s>

Who will watch over me?

<s>Tipping the Scales</s>

<s>Protect the Children</s>

<s>Laura’s Lullaby</s>

<s>Hunting Predators</s>

<s>Rough Justice</s>

<s>The Pursuit of Innocence</s>

Unconscionable

Suffer the Children

<s>The Child Crusade or The Children’s Crusade</s>

<s>Laura</s>

<s>The Law of Innocence</s>

Slaying Monsters

<s>Slaying Dragons</s>

<s>Justice for White Lambs</s>

<s>The Children’s Champion</s>

<s>The Sentinel</s>

<s>The Child Advocate</s>

<s>Justice, My Way!</s>

Predators to Prey

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Pilot Structure

What have I learned?

This took a lot of brainstorming. Mainly it was because I already had the pilot planned in my head, but this formula changed most of it.

Teaser:

· Essence: A young teen, Susan, is molested and left for dead. During the trial, the man is acquitted.

· Turning Point: The young victim commits suicide and is found by her sister, Laura.

Act 1: Years Later

· Essence: We see Laura taking part in a SWAT training evolution at which she excels. She then speaks to the group of police officers about PTSD and how suicides among first responders can be averted through early intervention.

· Turning Point. She has been training alongside different military and first responders to understand what they face in their jobs.

Act 2:

· Essence: Laura and her best friend, Janice, an RCMP officer, are having dinner. Talking about each other’s work and frustrations.

· Turning Point/Midpoint: Laura gets a notice that a police officer she knows has committed suicide.

Act 3:

· Essence: Both women attend the officer’s funeral. Janice as cop. Laura as her position as his councilor.

· Turning Point: Widow goes ballistic at Laura for not helping her husband, which led to him killing himself.

Act 4:

· Essence: A notorious child abuser is released from prison and is assassinated at the airport.

· Turning Point. The shooter is Laura. She is the vigilante.

Act 5:

· Essence: Janice meets with Laura for drinks.

· Lock In. Janice announces the force has tasked her with finding and stopping the vigilante.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Character Story Lines

What I learned?

It’s a good thing that the BW and Bible are living documents, because I have had to rethink this entire pilot so it fits both the plot and the characters story of the formula.

Laura

· Beginning: Laura is a PTSD psychiatrist who trains with military and first responders to better understand their world.

· Turning Point: She has learned their skills.

· Midpoint: One of her police patients commits suicide over PTSD.

· Turning Point 2: At the officer’s funeral, the widow blames her for not helping her husband.

· Major Conflict: They released a notorious child abuser whose sentencing was questionable from jail.

· Ending: Laura kills him and starts her crusade.

· Dilemma is optional: Janice announces she has been tasked with tracking down and stopping the vigilante.

Janice

· Beginning: Janice is undercover and is picked up by a pedophile.

· Turning Point: Janice arrests the perv.

· Midpoint: Video shows up showing Ryan, a kidnapped kid.

· Turning Point 2: She has 90 days to find Ryan.

· Major Conflict. Her boss wants her on the the Task Force to track down the vigilante.

· Ending: She is given on week to close her case and save Ryan.

· Dilemma is optional: She tells Laura about her new position.

Teaser:

· Essence: A young teen, Susan, is molested and left for dead. During the trial, the man is acquitted.

· Turning Point: The young victim commits suicide and is found by her sister, Laura.

Act 1: Years Later

Essence: (Laura Opening) We see Laura taking part in a Military training evolution at which she excels. She then speaks to the soldiers about PTSD and how suicides can be averted through early intervention.

(L TP) She has learned their skills.

(Janice Opening) Posing as a teen, Janice, an RCMP officer, is picked up by a pedophile. After a high-speed chase during which Janice and the pedophile fight in the back of a van, (J TP) arrests the perv.

Act 2:

· Essence: We find that Laura and Janice are best friends.

(Janice Opening) Janice comes home and searches her own apartment with gun.

On the Dark Web, she finds a video of Ryan, the last in her case to be abducted. (J TP ) Se has 90 days to find him before he’s killed.

Janice and Laura talk over glass of wine. (M TP J) Laura gets a notice that a police officer she’s been treating has committed suicide. Both women know the officer.

Act 3:

Essence: Both women attend the officer’s funeral. Janice as cop. Laura as her position as his councilor.

(L TP) Widow goes ballistic at Laura for not helping her husband, which led to him killing himself.

Act 4:

Essence: A notorious child abuser is released from prison and is assassinated at the airport.

(L TP) The shooter is Laura. She becomes a vigilante.

(J M TP) Her boss wants her on the Task Force to track down the vigilante, but she needs to find Ryan.

(J TP2) She is given one week to close her case and save Ryan.

Act 5:

Essence: Janice meets with Laura for drinks.

Lock In. Janice tells Laura that the force has tasked her with finding and stopping the vigilante.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Elevated Story Beats

What I learned?

When the entire story is laid out on a page or two, it is easier to move things around and change it from a bird’s-eye view.

1. EXT. THE FOREST – DAY

Four teens are sent to a juvenile bootcamp rather than jail. The operators are so aggressive that the four plans an escape. They plan to run to a town, whose lights can be seen on top of a mountain.

The initial scene was supposed to introduce the characters and their situation. What it doesn’t do is show is Adam’s weaknesses in his normal life. It also doesn’t show the friendship between him and the other boys.

Alternative Scene 1 BEAT

We’re introduced to Adam at his grandfather’s funeral. His parents refuse him to adopt his grandfather’s dog because he is not responsible. This begins the events that have him sent to a reform camp where he meets and befriends the other boys.

5. EXT. HEAVEN – DAY

The boys enter heaven and meet Jesus and Mohammad, and other gods. Adam meets his dead Grandfather who leads him and his friends away.

I will be deleting the characters of Jesus and Mohammad, as it might offend others. I will use the Voice of God as in the end scene.

Alternative Scene 16 BEAT

The boys enter heaven and are guided by Adam’s grandfather, who explains the prophecy.

12. EXT.ENEMY SUPPLY CAMP – MORNING

As leader, Adam must decide the fate of two people who have been infected by alien eggs. They are dispatched and he must learn to live with the decision.

This scene was to have Adam make a conscious decision on his own under the responsibility as leader. Although emotional, I think that if the couple resists his decision, it will add more tension to the scene. When they die as eternal eggs hatch, it vindicates Adam’s decision that he has made the right decision.

16. EXT. CENTER OF HEAVEN – DAY

With the staff, Adam flies to the center of heaven and presents leaders with the staff, only to find out that he is the one who must learn its power and yield it. He also finds that Ian has been reborn, having died as a mortal.

This scene reenforces the prophecy that it is Adam that must fulfil it. It originally brought Ian back to life after his death by the queen. However, by doing this, I lower the stakes if the characters are killed only to be reborn instantly. Therefore, Ian will remain dead.

Alternate Scene Beat

With the staff, Adam flies to the center of heaven and presents leaders with the staff, only to find out that he is the one who must learn its power and yield it. He is still suffering from the loss of his friend, Ian.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Amazing Inciting Incident

What I learned?

This setup has changed the entire plan I had for the pilot. I can see that it creates so much more tension and a need to see what the vigilante will do next. There is also the need to see the police, the government, and the public’s reactions to the future events.

1. Inciting Incident: After losing many clients to suicide because of child crimes, Laura, a PTSD psychiatrist, begins a crusade of hunting down major child abusers and those who aid them.

2. Main Beats of the Inciting Incident.

· Intriguing Concept: Laura is going to kill every major child abuser in the country until the public outcry can is force the government to change its laws to better protect children.

· Act 1: Laura is the expert in PTSD for the military and 1^st responders. She trains with them so that she can know exactly what they deal with. But she is losing too many to suicide because of what they encounter in the line of duty.

· Midpoint: After losing one particular investigator that she had thought had been cured, she decides to take the law into her own hands and kills a major child abuser being released after a minor stint in prison.

· Lock in: Although she is now hunted by every police service in the country, a vast amount of the public applauds her actions, giving her the vindication she needs.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Big Picture Components

What did I learn?

This is similar to the outlining of a thriller movie to ensure there are layers, multiple mysteries and loops, to make every episode compelling.

Series Info

World: The international exploitation of children is worth billions, with little risk from overwhelmed or corrupt authorities hindered by politics and borders.

Main Mystery: Who is targeting pedophiles and why?

Impossible Goal: Janice must discover and stop the vigilante while finding a killer before he kills the next child.

Main Conflict: If Janice doesn’t discover the killer, another child will die, but if she doesn’t follow orders, she might lose her job.

Second Mystery: Why is the vigilante killing judges?

Season Arc: Janice realizes that sometimes, the law is not perfect.

Season 1 Protagonist Internal Journey

Pilot Info

Pilot Conflict: Janice has one week to break her case.

Characters Introduced: Janice, Laura, Kilgour, Forbes, Rob, Father Gilles

Inciting Incident of Season 1: The assassination of a child abuser being released from prison.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Scene Ratings

What I learned… ?

High scores are when there is a lot of action and tension, while those slower scene seem to be less entertaining, yet essential.

LOGLINE: For Heaven’s Sake – FANTASY

Four troubled teens become heaven and earth’s last hope against an alien menace when they’re commanded to go on a holy crusade to steal a powerful weapon called The Staff of Moses.

1. (E6) Four teens are sent to a juvenile bootcamp rather than jail. The operators are so aggressive that the four plans an escape.

2. (E5) Flashback to Ian’s past.

3. (E6) Flashback to Freddy’s past.

4. (E7) Flashback to Rob’s past.

5. (E8) When the boys are washing at the beach, they see strange lights on the mountain at the far side of the lake.

6. (E6) During supper, Daniel has to deflect a guard’s hostility towards Ian. They plan to escape.

7. (E6) The boys escape into the night and make their way to the far side of the lake.

8. (E8) After the hard hike up the mountain, the boys stop for a break beside a mountain pond. Adam dives in and encounters a glowing skull.

9. (E9) They reach an abandon mining camp and while sleeping, a glowing orb rises out of the mining shaft, wraps each of the boys and carries them into the mine.

10. (E9) They emerge in heaven and meet other gods. Adam meets his dead Grandfather who leads him and his friends away.

11. (E6) Grandpa explains that there are other heavens and that one of them had a breach, allowing an alien race to invade the human heaven. God is not in heaven, but has left a prophecy explain that four mortal boys will fight for heaven and bring peace to the heavens.

12. (E8) As the horde makes another attack, the boys with their escort leave on a quest to find the Riff or breach between the heavens so they can enter the alien world and take back a stolen artifact; the Staff of Moses.

13. (E6) They assigned Adam and his friends to four different warrior groups to learn special fighting styles and skills.

14. (E5) After a brief battle, the group frees prisoners that the aliens meant to feed on. Adam has his first encounter with the alien soldiers.

15. (E5) Spend a couple of days resting and training.

16. (E8) During training, Ian marks two enemy soldiers without detection.

17. (E5) A group of humans who had planned on trading him for their families with the aliens captures Ian. He is found and freed.

18. (E9) The group attacks three enemy camps and, although they win, the enemy is able to signal for help.

19. (E8) As leader, Adam must decide the fate of two people who have been infected by alien eggs. They are dispatched and he must learn to live with the decision.

20. (E9) Pursued by the aliens, the group follows a tunnel through the mountain. The aliens catch up and attack them before being cut off.

21. (E8) The troop final arrives at the Riff. Those who will accompany the boys are chosen, but before they can put their plans in place, they are spotted and must go to ground.

22. (E10) After entering the alien world, the team make their way to the citadel. They use their stealth skills to enter the structure and find their way to the Queen’s quarters and the Staff of Moses. She kills Ian and Adam threatens to destroy her egg.

23. (E8) With the staff, Adam flies to the center of heaven and presents leaders with the staff, only to find out that he is the one who must learn its power and yield it. He also finds that Ian has been reborn, having died as a mortal.

24. (E5) After many attempts, Adam learns the secrets of the staff. With the troop, they set out to cut off the Queen’s army.

25. (E9) During a river crossing, the aliens ambush the troop, and the staff is lost. Adam is captured and brought before the Queen, who tortures him for killing her egg.

26. (E10) Adam is rescued and finds that Rob was able to save the Staff. Adam uses the power of the staff to defeat the queen’s army and send them all back to the Riff.

27. (E10) Adam beats the Queen, but as she retreats, Ian and Freddy kills her in revenge for killing Ian. Once the alien army has left for their own heaven, Adam seals the Riff.

28. (E8)Reminded that he must bring peace to both heavens, Adam uses the Staff one last time and changes everything back to as it was before the Riff appeared. Both the Queen and Ian are alive, as are all those who died in the war.

29. (E8) Returned to their own world, God speaks to the boys, thank them for helping him and warning that they might be called again in the future.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Visually Appealing Bible

I plan on handing my bible to the graphic artist once the review is complete. As this series is an adaptation of my thriller series, I do own the artwork for two of my book covers. I will let the designer decide whether it is appropriate for this project.

What have I learned?

Being a visual person, I can definitely see the merit of using pictures which can add tone, substance, and content to the pitch without having to speak to it.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Character Intro

What have I Learned?

Rather than come out and describe Adam, I can show his character through his actions. In the situation below, we also see the characters of some of the other characters as well.

EXT. JUVENILE PENAL CAMP – DAY

Four teenage boys pull heavy canvass straps around their shoulders, which are attached to an eight-foot log. Together they lean forward, dragging the log through the bush. Black Flies and mosquitoes swarm around their heads.

They stagger under the weight of the log, slipping and falling in the black muck which skirts a marsh. They are soon covered in the slime. Wiping sweat from their faces only spreads the mud across their faces.

The smallest of the four staggers under the weight and goes down, causing the log to dig into the mud. This drags the other boys to the ground and all come close to being crushed by the heavy weight.

ADAM, (15) drops the strap and braces himself against the trunk. He’s panting heavily.

ADAM

Everyone okay?

ROB, (15) a black kid who is the size of a Suma wrestler taps the log and waves before trying to untangle himself from the strap. FREDDY, (14) a tall slim lifts his face from the muck. His hair is no longer red, but slick with black mud.

Adam reaches for IAN, (14) the smaller boy who had stumbled, and helps him up. It’s clear that the boy is exhausted, his chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath.

From behind the group, DWIGHT (28), one of the guards stomps forward. His face is red with suppressed anger.

DWIGHT

Move it! No one gave the order to rest.

All four boys stiffen at his approach. A malicious smile crosses his unshaven face.

DWIGHT

You’re only as strong as the weakest. It’s up to the rest of you to make sure this loser…

(indicating Ian)

… doesn’t slow you down. How you do it, is up to you.

He’s tapping the side of his pantleg with a riding crop which he uses to intimidate the inmates.

Adam steps closer to the guard, both fists clenched at his side. His eyes are startling. Adam’s left eye is blue, while his right is dark brown, which enhances the fierceness of his expression.

Rob lumbers beside Adam, his massive frame dwarfing his fellow inmate, while Freddy vaults the log and looks ready to attack.

ADAM

The only loser here,

(beat)

Is you. Now back off.

The guard glares at Adam. The riding crop begins to rise.

DWIGHT

Don’t you be looking at me with those freaked out eyes, boy.

Rob steps closer, towering over the guard. The guard takes an involuntary step back. He is shaking with rage.

DWIGHT

Fine. You are all on report. We’ll see how you make out on half rations.

The guard turns on his heel and stomps away. He slips on the mud and makes a dance of regaining his balance, cursing under his breath. The boys watch him go.

IAN

Thanks, fellows. But you shouldn’t have done that. He’ll be watching to strike back.

The other boys all turn to him.

ADAM

No way, buddy. Separately, he might beat us, but together, he doesn’t stand a chance.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Character Stories Assignment

What I learn, doing this lesson?

By spreading out each character’s story line, it allows a bigger picture of the their roles in the story, making it easier to see flaws and/or opportunities to expand or create deeper conflict.

Protagonist: Adam

Antagonist: Queen

Connecting character: Guang – Messenger (Angel) of heaven

Supporting Character for Protagonist: Ian

Supporting Character for Antagonist: Hive

Adam

Profile: 15-yr-old, born leader, acting out due to grief from the loss of his grandfather, loyal

Beginning: Leads the others as they escape the prison

Middle: In charge of the group assigned to save heaven

End: Finds that it’s not enough to win the battle, he must restore peace as well.

First Act Story

1. Shelters Ian from guard.

2. Leads the others on the escape.

3. Is confronted by Scavenger.

4. Makes initial contact with Guang.

Queen

Profile: Ruler of an alien world, insectoid, aggressive, cruel, the species follows the Hive mentality.

Beginning: Her troops have invaded heaven and stolen the Staff of Moses.

Middle: She kills Ian for threatening her eggs.

End: Is killed for revenge by Freddy for having killed Ian.

First Act Story

1. Her troops have broken through the barrier to heaven.

2. They attacked the residents of heaven.

3. They have stolen the Staff of Moses.

Guang

Profile: Guang acts as a guide and confident to Adam. Supportive, understanding, naive to human nature.

Beginning: Guide and confidant to Adam

Middle: Guide and confidant to Adam

End: Guide and confidant to Adam

First Act Story

1. Guang has made contact with Adam.

2. He has transported them to heaven.

3.

Ian:

Profile: Loyal, gutsy, need for acceptance.

Beginning: Looks up to Adam like a big brother.

Middle: Backs Adam up during conflict but begins to gain independence.

End: Is killed by the Queen, forcing Adam to stand on his own.

First Act Story

1. Being the smallest of the group, he is targeted by the guards.

2. He worships Adam.

3. Finds a water source to help Rob and the others.

4. His small size allows him to enter the mine building where they find food.

Hive

Profile: doesn’t think for itself, acts as one unit. Follows the Queen’s command without hesitation.

Beginning: attacks heaven on the Queen’s command.

Middle: Attempts to stop Adam’s group from using the Staff.

End: Returns to the alien home world when the Queen is killed.

First Act Story

None that the reader is aware of.

Changes 1: When Ian, who is a mortal, is killed, I had him born again in heaven, almost immediately and therefore available to continue the quest. Adam will later use the power of the Staff to raise him back to mortal stance. This has been pointed out that it reduces the tension and stakes for Ian.

I have therefore decided to have Ian killed and Adam and his friends will have to deal with the pain of loss. This will affect their decision making moving forward.

Changes 2: Guang acts as a guide and confidant to Adam during the quest. He is naïve about human behavior.

I will use this to cause conflict between the two. Guang, as an angel, cannot understand how a mortal views the world and this should create some interesting tension and conflict.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Edited TV Pitch Bible

What I learned from doing this assignment?

The process streamlines the pitch so that it is crisper and to the point. It got rid of the ‘fluff’. The spreading of the elements created a lot of white space, which makes it easier and quicker to read. The positioning of the headings helped clean up the pitch, so that everything is easy to find.

Unsure if we are supposed to post the edited version due to space issues.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Episode Titles

What I learned: The title acts like a hook and makes it interesting. Through the research, I may use quotes as each episode opens for the same reason. To help draw the viewer into the story of that episode.

Episode 1: Karma Comes Calling

Episode 2: Stealing Trophies

Episode 3: Fallen Angels

Episode 4: Devil’s Due

Episode 5: Needle in the Haystack

Episode 6: Blood Bait

Episode 7: The Wolverine

Episode 8: Breakdown

Episode 9: The Naked Truth

Episode 10: Frontier Justice

Episode 11: The Last Target

Episode 12: Kill Another Day

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Character Profiles Assignment

What I learned: I enjoy building and tearing apart characters. If only it was that easy with teenagers!

Adam

Role: Reluctant Hero

Traits: born leader, lacks confidence, need for approval, loyal

Subtext: Born leader who lacks confidence.

Flaw: Plays tough guy to hide the fact that he is grieving for his grandfather.

Mission: Bring peace to the heavens

Character Arc: Lack confidence at the beginning, but trials and experience teach him he is capable of great things.

Change: more confident making decisions.

Ian

Role: Friend/sidekick

Traits: loyal, shy, risk taker, courageous

Subtext: Small with a heart of a lion.

Flaw: Follows others without question.

Mission: Support his friends.

Character Arc: Builds skills and confidence to stand on his own.

Change: Ian will be the comic relief for the group. He will be the practical, smart mouth friend.

Feddy

Role: friend/sidekick

Traits: loyal, aggressive, quick temper, vengeful, reactive

Subtext: Loyal to a fault. Will attack without thought.

Flaw: temper

Mission: to protect those he cares for

Character Arc:

Change: I will have to build a setup so that his temper causes him grief and he learns from it. Almost scared to act.

Rob

Role: friend. sidekick

Traits: loyal, passive/aggressive, quiet, peace maker

Subtext: He is the peacemaker of the group.

Flaw: scared of his own strength

Mission: To support his friends.

Character Arc: Rob is scared of his strength. In training, he learns to control it.

Change: He needs a boiling point so that others are nervous if they cross him.

Guang

Role: Guide

Traits: supportive, encouraging, advisor

Subtext: Guang is an angel whose role is to guide and support the heroes.

Flaw: naive of human nature

Mission: To support Adam and his friends, messenger

Character Arc: N/A

Change: less consolidator and more authoritative.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Presents Non-Stop Intrigue

What I learned…?

I found the idea of utilizing the setup with the payoff helped me enhance many areas of the entire. I could include a possible hidden agenda that left some doubt to Janice’s innocence through the story, even though she appears to be the true-blue cop. Intense language and character 1 wondering about character 2 also help to set the idea of Janice’s loyalty to the system.

The Bible has an almost thriller aspect to it. It has that page turning feel. Even the last episode has several questions left open to draw the reader/viewer to the next season.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Story Beats

What have I learned?

Stretched out like this gives an overview of the entire story.

LOGLINE: For Heaven’s Sake – FANTASY

Four troubled teens become heaven and earth’s last hope against an alien menace when they’re commanded to go on a holy crusade to steal a powerful weapon called The Staff of Moses.

1. EXT. HEAVEN – DAY

Mohammad and Jesus talk after a major battle with an unknown foe. Things are desperate enough to call on the Sentinels.

2. EXT. THE FOREST – DAY

Four teens are sent to a juvenile bootcamp rather than jail. The operators are so aggressive that the four plans an escape. They plan to run to a town, whose lights can be seen on top of a mountain.

3. EXT. BOOTCAMP – NIGHT

The boys escape into the night and make their way to the far side of the lake.

4. EXT. MOUNTAIN POND – DAY

After the hard hike up the mountain, the boys stop for a break beside a mountain pond. Adam dives in and encounters a glowing skull.

5. EXT. MINING CAMP

They reach an abandon mining camp and while sleeping, a glowing orb rises out of the mining shaft, wraps each of the boys and carries them into the mine.

6. EXT. HEAVEN – DAY

They emerge in heaven and meet Jesus and Mohammad, and other gods. Adam meets his dead Grandfather who leads him and his friends away.

7. EXT. GRANDPA’S CAMPFIRE – DAY

Grandpa explains that there are other heavens and that one of them had a breach, allowing an alien race to invade the human heaven. God is not in heaven, but has left a prophecy explain that four mortal boys will fight for heaven and bring peace to the heavens.

8. EXT. Heaven – DAY

As the horde makes another attack, the boys with their escort leave on a quest to find the Riff or breach between the heavens so they can enter the alien world and take back a stolen artifact; the Staff of Moses.

9. EXT. CAMP – NIGHT

They assigned Adam and his friends to four different warrior groups to learn special fighting styles and skills.

10. EXT. ENEMY CAMP

After a brief battle, the group frees prisoners that the aliens meant to feed on. Adam has his first encounter with the alien soldiers.

11. EXT. RIVER VALLEY – NIGHT

A group of humans who had planned on trading him for their families with the aliens captures Ian. He is found and freed.

12. EXT. ENEMY SUPPLY CAMP – AFTERNOON

The group attacks three enemy camps and, although they win, the enemy is able to signal for help.

13. EXT.ENEMY SUPPLY CAMP – MORNING

As leader, Adam must decide the fate of two people who have been infected by alien eggs. They are dispatched and he must learn to live with the decision.

14. INT. RIVER TUNNEL – NIGHT

Pursued by the aliens, the group follows a tunnel through the mountain. The aliens catch up and attack them before being cut off.

15. EXT. CAMP – NIGHT

The troop final arrives at the Riff. Those who will accompany the boys are chosen, but before they can put their plans in place, they are spotted and must go to ground.

16. EXT. CITADEL – NIGHT

After entering the alien world, the team make their way to the citadel. They use their stealth skills to enter the structure and find their way to the Queen’s quarters and the Staff of Moses. She kills Ian and Adam threatens to destroy her egg.

17. EXT. CENTER OF HEAVEN – DAY

With the staff, Adam flies to the center of heaven and presents leaders with the staff, only to find out that he is the one who must learn its power and yield it. He also finds that Ian has been reborn, having died as a mortal.

18. EXT. BOX CANYON – DAY

After many attempts, Adam learns the secrets of the staff. With the troop, they set out to cut off the Queen’s army.

19. EXT. MOUNTAINS – EAST SIDE – MORNING

During a river crossing, the aliens ambush the troop, and the staff is lost. Adam is captured and brought before the Queen, who tortures him for killing her egg.

20. Ext. CENTER OF HEAVEN – DAY

Adam is rescued and finds that Rob was able to save the Staff. Adam uses the power of the staff to defeat the queen’s army and send them all back to the Riff.

21. EXT. RIFF – DAY

Adam beats the Queen, but as she retreats, Ian and Freddy kills her in revenge for killing Ian. Once the alien army has left for their own heaven, Adam seals the Riff.

22. EXT. CENTER OF HEAVEN

Reminded by Jesus that he must bring peace to both heavens, Adam uses the Staff one last time and changes everything back to as it was before the Riff appeared. Both the Queen and Ian are alive, as are all those who died in the war.

23. EXT. MINING CAMP

Returned to their own world, God speaks to the boys, thank them for helping him and warning that they might be called again in the future.

After analysing the beats, two major things stand out. First, the use of both Jesus and Mohammad might inflame different religions. In Islam, the replication of any image of Mohammad is prohibited, and I certainly do not wish to insult anyone. I also do not wish this to single out any religion, which is why I recognized many religions throughout history. Beats 1, 6, 8, 20, 21, 22.

Result: I will take out all references to the major characters of the religions, while still keeping representation of all religions.

Another issue is the death and rebirth of Ian within the story. It has been pointed out that this lowers the stake for the story. Beats 17 and 21.

Result: I will change the beats so that Ian is not reborn during the story, but will have him restored at the end as everything is reverted back through the power of the Staff. This will also add tension to Adam and the others as they deal with his death.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Intrigue Patterns

What I learned?

There are many ways to create an intriguing statement. The trick is choosing the best one for the story.

When a convicted child molester is assassinated, Janice is assigned to the task force to find the killer. Janice is furious because she and her team are hot on the trail of a rapist/killer of children who kills every ninety days.

A. Establish something shocking and the terrible things it could mean.

Tapped to hunt a vigilante who assassinated a child abuser, Janice is furious because she and her team are hot on the trail of a rapist/killer who has been killing children every ninety days.

B. Strong statement: question about something underhanded beneath the surface.

Her superiors put Janice in an impossible spot. If she follows orders to hunt down a vigilante that took out an unrepenting child abuser, another child might die at the hands of a rapist/killer who has been killing children every ninety days.

C. Questions that point to hidden agendas, hidden identity, conspiracy, etc.

What’s more important: An innocent child or a killer of child abusers?

D. Character 1 is convinced/worried/wondering that character 2 has done…

Janice is convinced her bosses are setting her up to fail.

E. But maybe it is all wrong.

Maybe the vigilante would stand a better chance stopping the rapist/killer and saving the children.

F. A Pattern that Leads to Future Consequences.

If she allows her obsessive behavior to continue, she could find herself out of a job.

G. If he does ______________, that means Intrigue.

If she can find a clue, that means she can break the case and keep the brass happy.

H. State the mystery.

Who and why is someone abducting, raping, and killing children?

I. Should be/could be ____________, but it is even worse.

If the vigilante is stopped, several molesters that the police never knew about would continue targeting kids.

J. Intense language.

Wiping out child abusers with a surgical strike for all the right reasons might be pure justice.

I chose Establish something shocking and the terrible things it could mean.

Tapped to hunt a vigilante who assassinated a child abuser, Janice is furious because she and her team are hot on the trail of a rapist/killer who has been killing children every ninety days.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden TV Pitch Investigation

Tool 1: What’s beneath that?

We know that Janice, the cop, had suffered sexual assault for several years as a child. The consequences of which she is still experiencing fear of the dark, fear of entering a room without inspecting it. She also met Laura because of the trauma, and their friendship grew from there. It also pushed her to be a cop who could bring these criminals to justice.

She would have the motive to kill child abusers, especially the way the legal system protects the criminal.

Tool 2: Extrapolate: If Janice is willing to kill, then, she could be an active partner with Laura.

Tool 3: Wonder: What if they partnered up?

It would give both of them enough alibies and intelligence to show that the killer could not possibly be the same person.

Tool 4: Backtrack: How could ________________________ have happened?

Janice and Laura are best friends. Laura was her original psychiatrist, so knows what she has gone through. Both would understand the other.

Tool 5: Forecast: How could this get even worse?

Someone could dig deeper into Janice’s past and determine that her childhood assault might trigger her to take the law into her own hands. And she would have to defend herself and prove she was innocent, even why she is helping Laura.

Use in Pitch Bible.

I could add this entire conspiracy to the Intriguing Layers of Janice’s character.

Hidden agenda: she is working with the vigilante

Secrets: She is waging both a legal war against pedophiles and an illegal war

Deception: She’ll come across as innocent and fight to prove that – I don’t see the audience finding out until the last episode that she and Laura are actually working together.

Use in Episodes.

This would have to be peppered throughout the episodes to keep the mystery and intrigue going until the end of the season.

Don’t use.

[David Wickenden]

Title: The Devil’s Due Ver. 3 after feedback

LOGLINE:

When a mother and daughter show up at his cottage, Michael must use his bush smarts to outrun a group of cultists bound on sacrificing the teen to their dark Lord.

I/E. FORD EXTENDED CAB 4X4 – AFTERNOON

They introduced us to MICHAEL HEALY (36) as he drives his truck down a country blacktop. He’s singing and seems to enjoy himself. He takes a phone call from his boss who is worried about a business account. Michael tells him it’s his first break in the three years since his father’s death. He also reminds his boss that his cottage is in an area without cellular phone coverage.

INT. MILLER’S GENERAL STORE – DAY

Michael picks up some supplies and speaks with the store owner. He suggests he was considering selling the family cottage, and the owner recommends he give it a lot of thought, as others were sorry once they had done so. Michael agrees he has a lot of memories centered on the cottage and his father, who taught him about the wilds and about life.

INT. COTTAGE – DAY

Michael arrives at his cottage. He sees a woman and teenage girl swimming across the lake. Who are they? Must have bought the cottage.

INT. COTTAGE – EVENING

That evening, he hears gunshots and screams. The women show up pleading for help.

Michael wants to contact the police, but the woman tells him her husband, who wants to kidnap the daughter, owns the police. She tells Michael that she had to kill one cultist to get away. She had shot him. The figures in the bush are moving towards Michael’s cottage.

They run after Michael packs a bag. One cult member chases after them while the leader enters the cottage.

INT. COTTAGE – NIGHT

The Cult Leader has his men plant a dead man in Michael’s cottage and leaves drugs scattered on the floor. He then calls the police to frame Michael. More men show up and they give chase to Michael and the women.

EXT. BUSH – CONTINUOUS

The women are going deeper into the forest on the trail led by Michael. Michael can’t understand why the men would shoot if they wanted to kidnap the girl?

Michael ambushed one pursuer, but the man beats him. The mother kills the man with an axe. She shows little emotion.

Michael and the women cut off the trail and move up the mountain. The Cult Leader yells into the night that the woman is not what she appears and is using Michael. The group of pursuers follow the trail away from Michael and the women.

Michael leads the women over the mountain to a swampy area. He finds a dry area and builds a quick shelter for them to sleep.

INT. SHELTER – NIGHT

The teen falls to sleep after eating. The mother, Joanna, explains that her husband, Billy, is a cult leader who wants to sacrifice his daughter, Lilith, to raise a demon, which he hopes to control.

Lilith has a seizure but falls back to sleep. Her mother tells Michael that the girl has no history with seizures.

Michael has a vivid sexual dream with Joanna.

EXT. COTTAGE – NIGHT

The police have found the dead body and the drugs in Michael’s cottage. An APB is issued for Michael’s arrest.

EXT. SWAMP – DAWN

When the daughter emerges from the shelter, Michael is amazed to find that she has matured from a girl of 14 years to a teen of 16 or 17 years. Neither woman can explain.

Michael has a plan to reach a fire tower where they can call for help, using the short-wave radio that’s there.

Once at the tower, Michael climbs the tower, while women hide. He gets the message out that he and the women are being chased by the cult members. On his way down the tower, three cult members show up and try to get him to climb down. When he refuses, they shoot at him. As he tries to stay under cover, two police in an SUV cruiser show up. They exchange gunfire with the cultists. Michael uses the distraction to zipline from the tower to the bush using his belt. Friction burns through the belt, and he falls injuring his leg. One police officer shoots the other with a spare gun. The police officer radios dispatch that Michael had shot and killed the police officer. He is part of the conspiracy.

Michael and the women run through the bush. The cult members follow.

EXT. FOREST – AFTERNOON

We watch through the eyes of a predator as it runs through the forest and creeps up to a cult member. It attacks and kills the cult member.

EXT. FOREST – SAME TIME

Michael and the women hear the screams. They find a maple sugar cabin and hunker down for the night. Once the daughter falls asleep, Michael and the woman get intimate outside the cabin. During the act, Michael spies the daughter watching them, a hungry look on her face. It unnerves him. When they go back inside to sleep, the girl’s spasms awaken them. They hear more screams and roars throughout the night.

EXT. FOREST – MORNING

Once again, the girl has aged following the seizure. She now appears to be 20 years old, no longer a teen, but a full-grown woman. Michael is stunned but finds it equally disturbing because neither woman seems surprised. Decide to make a run towards the town. They find the remains of a bunch of cult members ripped to shreds, body parts hanging from trees. They hear something tracking them through the bush.

EXT. FOREST – AFTERNOON

Cult leader sets forest fire to funnel Michael and the women towards a line of shooters.

EXT. FOREST – SAME TIME

Michael and the women run from the fire, coughing from smoke, blurred vision from smoke. They use a waterfall to create a bubble over themselves and the fire runs passes over them.

INT. CAVE – NIGHT

Michael leads them to a cave where they can dry their clothes. They eat the last of the food. There are more screams throughout the night. Michael dreams again. This time both the mother and daughter make love to him, the daughter becoming vicious.

INT. CAVE – MORNING

Michael wakes alone and naked. He has deep scratches all over his chest and back. He dresses and finds an old spear under a rock shelf in the cave. Vison: the spear is used to pierce Christ on the cross, his blood covering the spearhead. Michael leaves to find the women.

EXT. FOREST – MINUTES LATER

Michael finds the women surrounded by cult members and two police officers with rifles. Billy explains that not all is as it seems. That the daughter must die or else everyone on earth will die. They had wanted power, but the dark lord wanted something else. The daughter’s father is Satan, and she will bring hell to earth. Her having sex with Michael has woken the evil within her.

The monster from the forest attacks the cult members, tearing them apart. Michael breaks free as daughter transforms into she-devil. She fights with the cult leader, both using arcane powers. The mother and the police officer go at each other, with the cop being killed.

Michael uses the spear on the monster when its attention is on the cult leader. Killing it affects the daughter, and she weakens. Mother attacks Michael to protect her daughter. With no choice, he kills the mother, causing the daughter to go crazy, unleashing dark shadow monsters toward Michael.

Michael and the wounded cult leader work together to lift the spear in time to impale the She-devil, killing her.

A violent storm erupts, like a mini-cyclone, and both men must grab surrounding trees to hang on. When the wind dies down, both women and dead cult members are gone.

EXT. FOREST – EVENING

The cult leader explains that this is an ongoing battle. In a year, the evil will return. “The devil demands his due. He’ll be targeting both of us.” Michael has no real choice, because he is now a wanted man. They stagger out of the bush together, now allies.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Basic Structure Version 1

LOGLINE: For Heaven’s Sake – FANTASY

Four troubled teens become heaven and earth’s last hope against an alien menace when they’re commanded to go on a holy crusade to steal a powerful weapon called The Staff of Moses.

Main Conflict: Four mortal boys must help fight back an alien horde and bring peace back to heaven.

1. Opening

Four troubled teens find themselves in a Juvenile boot camp for their crimes. Daniel is the leader and had been acting out because of the death of his grandfather. Freddy is a scrapper who burnt a fishing boat of a rival who stole fish from his father. Ian is a thief who was caught stealing food for his family, and they arrested Rob because he put the boots to his mom’s boyfriend after the man hit her.
The guards of the camp are very abusive, and the group makes a run for it. During the prison escape, they find themselves in an abandoned mining camp.

2. Inciting Incident Pg. 13 – I need to bring this down a bit.

During the middle of the night, a whirling white globe appears, grabs all four and transports them to Heaven.

3. By page 10, you should know what the movie is about Pg 18 – I need to bring this down a lot.

It is here that they find they are part of a prophecy to halt an invasion of Heaven by an alien race from a parallel Heaven. First, they must enter the alien world to steal back the Staff of Moses, which the aliens have stolen.

4. First Turning point at the end of first Act.

Thus starts their great journey to the Riff, and they learn to lead and fight along the way.

5. Midpoint

They place the boys in one of four different warrior classes to learn the unique skills needed to enter the Riff, which will take them to the alien’s home world. Daniel learns the skills of a Gurkha soldier. They teach Freddy stick fighting from the Suri tribe. Ian learns stealth from the Ninja, while Rob learns to track and scout from the Comanche warriors. When they enter the enemy stronghold, they steal back the Staff, but the Queen kills Ian. Daniel uses the Queen’s egg to hold back the horde and make their escape.

6. Second turning Point

Back in their own Heaven, Daniel must learn to wield the Staff. He finds Ian has been reborn as a member of Heaven so cannot return to earth. Once he discovers the secrets of the Staff, Freddy and Ian disappear, plotting revenge on the Queen for having killed Ian. The group heads back over the mountains to head off the massive army of the Queen.

7. Crisis

During a river crossing, an alien squad ambushes them, and they capture Daniel, losing the Staff. They march the prisoners to the Queen’s army camp, where she tortures Daniel. Daniel is ready to give up, especially having lost the Staff. The Human army attacks the enemy camp, which causes a distraction for a small group to rescue Daniel. Daniel finds Rob had rescued the Staff.

8. Climax

Daniel uses the power of the staff to push back the alien army. In an ultimate showdown with the Queen, Daniel shows her she has no power over the Staff. As she retreats to the Riff, Freddy and Ian leap on her and kill her. They witness the entire alien army leave for their own home world, now that their Queen is dead.

9. Resolution

Still not satisfied that Ian cannot return home, Daniel uses the Staff one last time to restore all the lives lost to the time before the Riff appeared. Ian is reborn in his mortal body and the boys return to Earth only to meet God, who tells them they would need their newly learned skills later in their lives.

When presented through the Three Act Structure, I see that I must crop both the opening and the inciting incident so that the reader understands what the story is about much earlier.

Much of the opening is an introduction to the four main characters and their escape from the youth camp to the mine. It is here that the inciting event takes place. I will have to do a slash and burn exercise.

After restructuring:

Main Conflict: Four mortal boys must help fight back an alien horde and bring peace back to heaven.

1. Opening

Four troubled teens find themselves in a Juvenile boot camp for their crimes. The guards of the camp are very abusive, and the group makes a run for it. During the prison escape, they find themselves in an abandoned mining camp.

2. Inciting Incident

During the middle of the night, a whirling white globe appears, grabs all four boys and transports them to Heaven.

3. By page 10, you should know what the movie is about.

It is here that they find they are part of a prophecy to halt an invasion of Heaven by an alien race from a parallel Heaven. First, they must enter the alien world to steal back the Staff of Moses, which the aliens have stolen.

4. First Turning point at the end of first Act.

Thus starts their great journey to the Riff, and they learn to lead and fight along the way.

5. Midpoint

They place the boys in one of four different warrior classes to learn the unique skills needed to enter the Riff, which will take them to the alien’s home world. Daniel learns the skills of a Gurkha soldier. They teach Freddy stick fighting from the Suri tribe. Ian learns stealth from the Ninja, while Rob learns to track and scout from the Comanche warriors. When they enter the enemy stronghold, they steal back the Staff, but the Queen kills Ian. Daniel uses the Queen’s egg to hold back the horde and make their escape.

6. Second turning Point

Back in their own Heaven, Daniel must learn to wield the Staff. He finds Ian has been reborn as a member of Heaven so cannot return to earth. Once he discovers the secrets of the Staff, Freddy and Ian disappear, plotting revenge on the Queen for having killed Ian. The group heads back over the mountains to head off the massive army of the Queen.

7. Crisis

During a river crossing, an alien squad ambushes them, and they capture Daniel, losing the Staff. They march the prisoners to the Queen’s army camp, where she tortures Daniel. Daniel is ready to give up, especially having lost the Staff. The Human army attacks the enemy camp, which causes a distraction for a small group to rescue Daniel. Daniel finds Rob had rescued the Staff.

8. Climax

Daniel uses the power of the staff to push back the alien army. In an ultimate showdown with the Queen, Daniel shows her she has no power over the Staff. As she retreats to the Riff, Freddy and Ian leap on her and kill her. They witness the entire alien army leave for their own home world, now that their Queen is dead.

9. Resolution

Still not satisfied that Ian cannot return home, Daniel uses the Staff one last time to restore all the lives lost to the time before the Riff appeared. Ian is reborn in his mortal body and the boys return to Earth only to meet God, who tells them they would need their newly learned skills later in their lives.

[David Wickenden]

This is the second version after feedback

LOGLINE: For Heaven’s Sake – FANTASY

Four troubled teens become heaven and earth’s last hope against an alien menace when they’re commanded to go on a holy crusade to steal a powerful weapon called The Staff of Moses.

ONE PAGE: For Heaven’s Sake – FANTASY

Four troubled teens find themselves in a Juvenile boot camp for their crimes. Daniel is the leader and had been acting out because of the death of his grandfather. Freddy is a scrapper who burnt a fishing boat of a rival who stole fish from his father. Ian is a thief who was caught stealing food for his family, and they arrested Rob because he put the boots to his mom’s boyfriend after the man hit her.

The guards of the camp are very abusive, and the group makes a run for it. During the prison escape, they find themselves in an abandoned mining camp. During the middle of the night, a whirling white globe appears, grabs all four and transports them to Heaven. It is here that they find they are part of a prophecy to halt an invasion of Heaven by an alien race from a parallel Heaven. First, they must enter the alien world to steal back the Staff of Moses, which the aliens have stolen.

They place the boys in one of four different warrior classes to learn the unique skills needed to enter the Riff, which will take them to the alien’s home world. Daniel learns the skills of a Gurkha soldier. They teach Freddy stick fighting from the Suri tribe. Ian learns stealth from the Ninja, while Rob learns to track and scout from the Comanche warriors.

Thus starts their great journey to the Riff, and they learn to lead and fight along the way. When they enter the enemy stronghold, they steal back the Staff, but the Queen kills Ian. Daniel uses the Queen’s egg to hold back the horde and make their escape.

Back in their own Heaven, Daniel must learn to wield the Staff. He finds Ian has been reborn as a member of Heaven so cannot return to earth. Once he discovers the secrets of the Staff, Freddy and Ian disappear, plotting revenge on the Queen for having killed Ian. The group heads back over the mountains to head off the massive army of the Queen.

During a river crossing, an alien squad ambushes them, and they capture Daniel, losing the Staff. They march the prisoners to the Queen’s army camp, where she tortures Daniel. The Human army attacks the enemy camp, which causes a distraction for a small group to rescue Daniel. Daniel finds Rob had rescued the Staff.

Daniel uses the power of the staff to push back the alien army. In an ultimate showdown with the Queen, Daniel shows her she has no power over the Staff. As she retreats to the Riff, Freddy and Ian leap on her and kill her. They witness the entire alien army leave for their own home world, now that their Queen is dead.

Still not satisfied that Ian cannot return home, Daniel uses the Staff one last time to restore all the lives lost to the time before the Riff appeared. Ian is reborn in his mortal body and the boys return to Earth only to meet God, who tells them they would need their newly learned skills later in their lives.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Engaging Episode Descriptions

What have I learned?

I learned that using the steps helped write the episode summary.

Episode 1:

· Hook/Intrigue: An assassin kills an infamous pedophile being released from prison.

· Major Character Journey: RCMP Janice Williams (34) is recruited for a task force to hunt down the killer Janice doesn’t care about.

· Major Challenge/Conflict: Janice is given one week to close an important case.

· Action/Reaction: Intro to priest.

· Cliffhanger: The 2^nd vigilante killing, this time of crooked Judge.

After they release an infamous pedophile from prison, he is assassinated. RCMP Janice Williams (34) is assigned to a Task Force to hunt down the killer. She wants nothing to do with it as she is in the midst of a hunt for a child killer. She’s given one week to close the case. We are introduced to the priest. The vigilante strikes again, killing a corrupt judge.

Episode 2:

· Hook/Intrigue: Janice and the team are working the St. Chris case that has a suspect sexual assault and kill a child on live web transmission every 90 days.

· Major Character Journey: Janice talks about her past assault with Laura.

· Major Challenge/Conflict: Janice is fighting the clock and her own demons.

· Action/Reaction: Vigilante kills a pedophile in NS right out from the police. Janice’s team was waiting on a warrant to arrest this guy.

· Cliffhanger: “It’s like the killer is tapped into our system..

Janice and her team are hunting a killer who kidnaps, assaults and murders children on the web every 90 days. Janice discusses her own past assault with her former psychiatrist and best friend, Laura. She is fighting the clock but needs to find the St. Chris killer before he kills another child. The vigilante kills a pedophile in Nova Scotia that the police were ready to arrest. Janice wonders if someone from her department leaked the information.

Episode 3:

· Hook/Intrigue: Vigilante kills two Jehovah Elders in Winnipeg – one for sexual assault, the other for covering it up.

· Major Character Journey: Janice and team catch a break and identify a suspect.

· Major Challenge/Conflict: Superiors want her to drop case and work on Vigilante case. Fights for more time.

· Action/Reaction: Warrants filed, Janice flies to Sudbury to bring in the priest they feel is guilty of sexual assault and murder of children.

· Cliffhanger: Vigilante kills the priest.

In Winnipeg, the vigilante kills two Jehovah Witness Elders; one that molested two sisters and the other who covered it up. Janice and her team make a huge break to identify the suspect in the St. Chris murders. Once warrants are filed, Janice flies to Sudbury, Ontario, expecting to execute the warrant the following morning. During the night, the vigilante kills the priest.

Episode 4:

· Hook/Intrigue: Janice and police find the dead police and the last remaining child alive.

· Major Character Journey: Emotional day dealing with child and parents of dead child.

· Major Challenge/Conflict: Investigate the church.

· Action/Reaction: Find the other dead children. PTSD debriefing.

· Cliffhanger: The Vigilante has compromised the police computers.

Janice and the police find the dead priest and deal with the remaining child, who is traumatized. Janice has an emotional day dealing with the child. They investigate the church and find the other dead children. Janice has to deal with one of the dead children’s parents. Laura arrives for PTSD debriefing. Janice has Jamie search all computers within the department as the vigilante has to be tied in.

Episode 5:

· Hook/Intrigue: Janice reports to the task force detailing the information about the vigilante and the number of murders they suspect went unreported. Report of Jehovah killings.

· Major Character Journey: Janice is in full investigative mode.

· Major Challenge/Conflict: Finding clues that might identify the vigilante.

· Action/Reaction: review of past deaths of pedophiles. Look for travel documents of people you had flown to all the cities they know there was a killing.

· Cliffhanger: They will use Infamous pedophile as bait to catch vigilante.

Janice reports to the task force detailing the information about the vigilante and the number of murders they suspect went unreported. Report of Jehovah killings. Janice, Kilgour, and Forbes look at past pedophile death files, looking for clues. Decide to investigate travel manifest to cities where deaths occurred. Plan to use a pedophile being released as bait to catch vigilante.

Episode 6:

· Hook/Intrigue: Meet Gilmour – no regrets.

· Major Character Journey: Task Force gets police resources in place.

· Major Challenge/Conflict: Judge in Gilmour case is killed while being guarded by police.

· Action/Reaction: Political blowback to task force.

· Cliffhanger: Vigilante sets a fire trap for Gilmour. Gilmour escapes and plans payback.

Gilmour, an ex-soldier with no regrets about raping his stepdaughter. Task Force gets resources ready for vigilante. The Judge in the Gilmour case is killed while being guarded by police. There is political blowback after Judge is killed. When Gilmour escapes the vigilante’s fire trap, he vows payback.

Episode 7:

· Hook/Intrigue: Naked Child found in a snowbank in Northern Quebec First Nations Reserve.

· Major Character Journey: Laura attends to help RCMP officer and town members.

· Major Challenge/Conflict: Emotional reaction of some of the players.

· Action/Reaction: Elder tells her own history to Laura.

· Cliffhanger: Elder hints that she thinks Laura might be someone who hunts evil.

A naked child found in snowbank in Northern Quebec First Nations Reserve and the police arrest suspect. Laura arrives for PTSD debriefing of RCMP officer and towns people. An Elder tells her history and hints that she thinks Laura might be someone who hunts evil people.

Episode 8:

· Hook/Intrigue: More killings in U. S. discovered. Jamie’s report finds nothing.

· Major Character Journey: No results and Janice becomes frustrated.

· Major Challenge/Conflict: Janice has to get the cooperation of the Air Marshal program to investigate his own people.

· Action/Reaction: Laura and Janice have supper and Laura talks about the northern community.

· Cliffhanger: Laura plans to quit her practice because of her own PTSD.

Janice finds similar killing in the U.S. Jamie’s report on travel manifest yields nothing. Janice meets with the Director of Air Marshals to investigate his own people. Laura and Janice have dinner and talk about the northern community. Laura tells Janice that she is burnt out and plans on leaving her practice.

Episode 9:

· Hook/Intrigue: Jamie accuses Janice of ignoring his report.

· Major Character Journey: Janice has to prove to Jamie that she did not alter his report. It was done online.

· Major Challenge/Conflict: Rob and Janice review the original report.

· Action/Reaction: Janice recognizes one name on the list, Susan Dalton, Laura’s dead sister.

· Cliffhanger: Laura is the Vigilante.

Jamie accuses Janice of ignoring his finding in his report. Janice has to prove that the report she read showed nothing. They find that it was altered. Rob and Janice review original report. Janice recognizes one name: Susan Dalton, Laura’s dead sister. Laura is the vigilante.

Episode 10:

· Hook/Intrigue: Janice attends Laura’s apartment and has to follow specific instructions if she wants to meet.

· Major Character Journey: Janice is taken to a farm in Quebec to talk to Laura.

· Major Challenge/Conflict: Janice and Kilgour go to Amos, Quebec to guard pedophile from Quebec reservation.

· Action/Reaction: Laura kills child pornographer in Victoria, BC.

· Cliffhanger: APB on Laura.

Janice attends Laura’s apartment and has to follow specific instructions if she wants to meet. Janice is taken to a farm in Quebec so Laura can explain the reason for her crusade. She will not surrender. An APB is issued for Laura. Janice and Kilgour to Amos, Quebec to guard pedophile from Quebec Reserve, but Laura is in Victoria B.C. killing a major child pornographer.

Episode 11:

· Hook/Intrigue: Laura releases financial documents about the corrupt judge.

· Major Character Journey: She travels by train to Montreal to be in place when Quebec pedophile is flown from Amos.

· Major Challenge/Conflict: Janice and Kilgour travel with pedophile.

· Action/Reaction: Laura kills the pedophile surrounded by police.

· Cliffhanger: Minister suspends Janice and Kilgour. Janice is kidnapped by Gilmour.

Laura releases financial documents about corrupt judge and calls on Canadian government to strengthen child sex laws. This starts a grassroots protest, by victims and natives. Laura heads east to Montreal via freight car. Janice and Kilgour guard Quebec pedophile. Laura kills the abuser while surrounded by police. The Minister suspends both Janice and Kilgour. Gilmour kidnaps Janice.

Episode 12:

· Hook/Intrigue: Janice is beaten by Gilmour.

· Major Character Journey: Laura must decide whether to escape across border or rescue Janice.

· Major Challenge/Conflict: Laura fights and defeats Gilmour.

· Action/Reaction: Laura escapes across the St. Lowrance River to States.

· Cliffhanger: Forbes gives evidence that the Minister wanted her dead. She’ll deal for Janice’s and Kilgour’s jobs. Laura heading to Europe to hunt child abusers.

Gilmour beats Janice to lure Laura for payback. Laura rescues Janice before escaping across the border. Laura fights and defeats Gilmour. Laura escapes across the St. Laurence Rive to America. Forbes, Janice, and Kilgour meet with Laura and Forbes gives evidence that the Minister wanted her dead. She’ll deal for Janice’s and Kilgour’s jobs. Laura heading to Europe to hunt child abusers.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Story Summary

What have I learned?

By giving a writing out the summary of the pilot, I feel it conveys the intrigue and mystery of the entire season and offers insight into what future seasons can expect.

Title:

One Hour Thriller

An infamous child abuser who served an unusual short term is being released from prison. His lawyer explains that there has been a verifiable death threat. The caller even produced fresh evidence of the child abuser with one of his victims. The government plans on transporting him from the prison to the Ottawa International airport to avoid a confrontation. Even with the change in schedule, the man dies from sniper fire.

Inspector Janice Williams is a cop on a mission. Head of the RCMP’s child crime division, each child matters. Molested as a child, she knows full well the trauma and the ongoing psychological damage these crimes leave in their wake. Because she helped put the abuser away years before, the government assigns Janice to the task force ordered to hunt down the vigilante. Janice warns this case was controversial because of the judge’s ruling. After the new killing, it would only get worse.

Janice is furious because she and her team are hot on the trail of a rapist/killer who has been killing children every ninety days. She has one week to close the case and find the latest child, Ryan.

St. Anthony parish is having a family day to raise funds for an orphanage in the third world. A member of the group introduces a new family to Father Gilles, the parish priest, who takes an interest in the youngest girl, Rebecca. He takes a picture of the child. Later he downloads and prints the girl’s photo before turning to a monitor that has another child locked in a room. It’s Ryan.

Janice arrives home and searches the entire apartment with a drawn gun. She spends her night alone, searching the dark web for evidence or news of a child abduction. Then she finds it. A live video of Ryan in the same sealed room as the other victims. The countdown has begun.

Scenes of Janice’s past sexual abuse disturbs her sleep, but it gives insight to the stresses that she lives with and why she works so hard to put abusers away.

As predicted, the vigilante strikes again. This time they kill the judge in question in her own car.

Can Janice solve a case where the culprit knows her every move? And because of the horrors these child abusers leave in their wake, will she want to?

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Story Summary Ver 2 using the BW Framework

What have I learned?

By using the BW framework, it creates a more interesting summary. The work was already there and just needed to be plugged in.

Title: XXX

One Hour Thriller

(Setup) Inspector Janice Williams heads up the RCMP’s child crime division (Intriguing World). Molested as a child, she knows full well the trauma and the ongoing psychological damage these crimes leave in their wake. (Empathy/Distress) When a convicted child molester is assassinated (Shocking Event), Janice is assigned to the task force to find the killer. (Forced decision they’d never make)

Janice is furious because she and her team are hot on the trail of a rapist/killer who has been killing children every ninety days. She has one week to close the case and find the latest child, Ryan. (External Character Conflict, Empathy /Distress)

St. Anthony’s parish community loves their priest, Father Gilles. He takes special interest in a young girl (Twist/Hook/Secret Identity) Later he downloads and prints the girl’s photo before turning to a monitor that has another child locked in a room. It’s Ryan. (Shocking Event/Undeserving Mechanism.)

Janice arrives home and searches the entire apartment with a drawn gun. (Intrigue) She spends her night alone, searching the dark web for evidence or news of a child abduction. (Coping Mechanism) A live video of Ryan in the same sealed room as the other victims. The countdown has begun.

Scenes of Janice’s past sexual abuse disturbs her sleep (Wound) but it gives insight to the stresses that she lives with and why she works so hard to put abusers away.

As predicted, the vigilante strikes again. This time they kill the judge in question in her own car. (Twist/Hook)

(Open Loops) As the political pressure mounts and the Ryan’s time runs out, Janice must decide to confront a monster or a killer while keeping her job. (Impossible Goal)

(Final Hook/Extreme Dramatic Question) Can Janice solve a case where the killer knows her every move? And because of the horrors these child abusers leave in their wake, will she want to?

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Thriller Map Ver 2 after feedback

Title: The Devil’s Due

LOGLINE:

When a mother and daughter show up at his cottage, Michael must use his bush smarts to outrun a group of cultists bound on sacrificing the teen to their dark Lord.

I/E. FORD EXTENDED CAB 4X4 – AFTERNOON

They introduced us to MICHAEL HEALY (36) as he drives his truck down a country blacktop. He’s singing and seems to enjoy himself. He takes a phone call from his boss who is worried about a business account. Michael tells him it’s his first break in the three years since his father’s death. He also reminds his boss that his cottage is in an area without cellular phone coverage.

INT. MILLER’S GENERAL STORE – DAY

Michael picks up some supplies and speaks with the store owner. He suggests he was considering selling the family cottage, and the owner recommends he give it a lot of thought, as others were sorry once they had done so. Michael agrees he has a lot of memories centered on the cottage and his father, who taught him about the wilds and about life.

INT. COTTAGE – DAY

Michael arrives at his cottage. He sees a woman and teenage girl swimming across the lake. Who are they? Must have bought the cottage.

INT. COTTAGE – EVENING

That evening, he hears gunshots and screams. The women show up pleading for help.

Michael wants to contact the police, but the woman tells him her husband, who wants to kidnap the daughter, owns the police. The figures in the bush are moving towards Michael’s cottage.

They run after Michael packs a bag. One cult member chases after them while the leader enters the cottage.

INT. COTTAGE – NIGHT

The Cult Leader has his men plant a dead man in Michael’s cottage and leaves drugs scattered on the floor. He then calls the police to frame Michael. More men show up and they give chase to Michael and the women.

EXT. BUSH – CONTINUOUS

The women are going deeper into the forest on the trail led by Michael. Michael can’t understand why the men would shoot if they wanted to kidnap the girl?

Michael ambushed one pursuer, but the man beats him. The mother kills the man with an axe. She shows little emotion.

Michael and the women cut off the trail and move up the mountain. The Cult Leader yells into the night that the woman is not what she appears and is using Michael. The group of pursuers follow the trail away from Michael and the women.

Michael leads the women over the mountain to a swampy area. He finds a dry area and builds a quick shelter for them to sleep.

INT. SHELTER – NIGHT

The teen falls to sleep after eating. The mother, Joanna, explains that her husband, Billy, is a cult leader who wants to sacrifice his daughter, Lilith, to raise a demon, which he hopes to control.

Lilith has a seizure but falls back to sleep. Her mother tells Michael that the girl has no history with seizures.

Michael has a vivid sexual dream with Joanna.

EXT. COTTAGE – NIGHT

The police have found the dead body and the drugs in Michael’s cottage. An APB is issued for Michael’s arrest.

EXT. SWAMP – DAWN

When the daughter emerges from the shelter, Michael is amazed to find that she has matured from a girl of 14 years to a teen of 16 or 17 years. Neither woman can explain.

Michael has a plan to reach a fire tower where they can call for help, using the short-wave radio that’s there.

Once at the tower, Michael climbs the tower, while women hide. He gets the message out that he and the women are being chased by the cult members. On his way down the tower, three cult members show up and try to get him to climb down. When he refuses, they shoot at him. As he tries to stay under cover, two police in an SUV cruiser show up. They exchange gunfire with the cultists. Michael uses the distraction to zipline from the tower to the bush. One police officer shoots the other with a spare gun. The police officer radios dispatch that Michael had shot and killed the police officer. He is part of the conspiracy.

Michael and the women run through the bush. The cult members follow.

EXT. FOREST – AFTERNOON

We watch through the eyes of a predator as it runs through the forest and creeps up to a cult member. It attacks and kills the cult member.

EXT. FOREST – SAME TIME

Michael and the women hear the screams. They find a maple sugar cabin and bunker down for the night. Once the daughter falls asleep, Michael and the woman get intimate outside the cabin. During the act, Michael spies the daughter watching them, a hungry look on her face. It unnerves him. When they go back inside to sleep, the girl’s spasms awaken them. They hear more scream and roars through the night.

EXT. FOREST – MORNING

Once again, the girl has aged following the seizure. She now appears to be 20 years old, no longer a teen, but a full-grown woman. Michael is stunned but finds it equally disturbing because neither woman seems surprised. Decide to make a run towards the town. They find the remains of a bunch of cult members ripped to shreds, body parts hanging from trees. They hear something tracking them through the bush.

EXT. FOREST – AFTERNOON

Cult leader sets forest fire to funnel Michael and the women towards a line of shooters.

EXT. FORST – SAME TIME

Michael and the women run from the fire, coughing from smoke, blurred vision from smoke. They use a waterfall to create a bubble over themselves and the fire runs passes over them.

INT. CAVE – NIGHT

Michael leads them to a cave where they can dry their clothes. They eat the last of the food. There are more screams throughout the night. Michael dreams again. This time both the mother and daughter make love to him, the daughter becoming vicious.

INT. CAVE – MORNING

Michael wakes alone and naked. He has deep scratches all over his chest and back. He dresses and finds an old spear under a rock shelf in the cave. Michael leaves to find the women.

EXT. FORSEST – MINUTES LATER

Michael finds the women surrounded by cult members and two police officers with rifles. Billy explains that not all is as it seems. That the daughter must die or else everyone on earth will die. They had wanted power, but the dark lord wanted something else. The daughter’s father is Satan, and she will bring hell to earth. Her having sex with Michael has woken the evil within her.

The monster from the forest attacks the cult members, tearing them apart. Michael breaks free as daughter transforms into she-devil. She and her mother fight with the cult leader, who unleashes with arcane powers.

Michael uses the spear on the monster when its attention is on the cult leader. Killing it affects the daughter, and she weakens. Mother attacks Michael to protect her daughter. With no choice, he kills the mother, causing the daughter to go crazy, unleashing dark shadow monsters toward Michael.

Michael and the wounded cult leader work together to lift the spear in time to impale the She-devil, killing her.

A violent storm erupts, like a mini-cyclone, and both men must grab surrounding trees to hang on. When the wind dies down, both women and dead cult members are gone.

EXT. FOREST – EVENING

The cult leader explains that this is an ongoing battle. In a year, the evil will return. “The devil demands his due. He’ll be targeting both of us.” They stagger out of the bush together, now allies.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Thriller Map

Open to feedback exchanges. wickendendave@gmail.com

Title: The Devil’s Due

LOGLINE:

When a mother and daughter show up at his cottage, Michael must use his bush smarts to outrun a group of cultists bound on sacrificing the teen to their dark God.

I/E. FORD EXTENDED CAB 4X4 – AFTERNOON

They introduced us to MICHAEL HEALY (36) as he drives his truck down a country blacktop. He’s singing and seems to enjoy himself. He takes a phone call from his boss who is worried about a business account. Michael tells him it’s his first break in the three years since his father’s death. He also reminds his boss that his cottage is in an area without cellular phone coverage.

INT. MILLER’S GENERAL STORE – DAY

Michael picks up some supplies and speaks with the store owner. He suggests he was considering selling the family cottage, and the owner recommends he give it a lot of thought, as others were sorry once they had done so. Michael agrees he has a lot of memories centered on the cottage and his father, who taught him about the wilds and about life.

INT. COTTAGE – DAY

Michael arrives at his cottage. He sees a woman and teenage girl swimming across the lake. Who are they? Must have bought the cottage.

INT. COTTAGE – EVENING

That evening, he hears gunshots and screams. The women show up pleading for help.

Michael wants to contact the police, but the woman tells him her husband, who wants to kidnap the daughter, owns the police. The figures in the bush are moving towards Michael’s cottage.

They run after Michael packs a bag. One cult member chases after them while the leader enters the cottage.

INT. COTTAGE – NIGHT

The Cult Leader has his men plant a dead man in Michael’s cottage and leaves drugs scattered on the floor. He then calls the police to frame Michael. More men show up and they give chase to Michael and the women.

EXT. BUSH – CONTINUOUS

The women are going deeper into the forest on the trail led by Michael. Michael can’t understand why the men would shoot if they wanted to kidnap the girl?

Michael ambushed one pursuer, but the man beats him. The mother kills the man with an axe. She shows little emotion.

Michael and the women cut off the trail and move up the mountain. The Cult Leader yells into the night that the woman is not what she appears and is using Michael. The group of pursuers follow the trail away from Michael and the women.

Michael leads the women over the mountain to a swampy area. He finds a dry area and builds a quick shelter for them to sleep.

INT. SHELTER – NIGHT

The teen falls to sleep after eating. The mother, Joanna, explains that her husband, Billy, is a cult leader who wants to sacrifice his daughter, Lilith, to raise a demon, which he hopes to control.

Lilith has a seizure but falls back to sleep. Her mother tells Michael that the girl has no history with seizures.

Michael has a vivid sexual dream with Joanna.

EXT. COTTAGE – NIGHT

The police have found the dead body and the drugs in Michael’s cottage. An APB is issued for Michael’s arrest.

EXT. SWAMP – DAWN

Michael has a plan to reach a fire tower where they can call for help, using the short-wave radio that’s there.

Once at the tower, Michael climbs the tower, while women hide. He gets the message out that he and the women are being chased by the cult members. On his way down the tower, three cult members show up and try to get him to climb down. When he refuses, they shoot at him. As he tries to stay under cover, two police in an SUV cruiser show up. They exchange gunfire with the cultists. Michael uses the distraction to zipline from the tower to the bush. One police officer shoots the other with a spare gun. The police officer radios dispatch that Michael had shot and killed the police officer. He is part of the conspiracy.

Michael and the women run through the bush. The cult members follow.

EXT. FOREST – AFTERNOON

We watch through the eyes of a predator as it runs through the forest and creeps up to a cult member. It attacks and kills the cult member.

EXT. FOREST – SAME TIME

Michael and the women hear the screams. They find a maple sugar cabin and bunker down for the night. Once the daughter falls asleep, Michael and the woman get intimate outside the cabin. During the act, Michael spies the daughter watching them, a hungry look on her face. It unnerves him. When they go back inside to sleep, the girl’s spasms awaken them. They hear more scream and roars through the night.

EXT. FOREST – MORNING

Decide to make a run towards the town. They find the remains of a bunch of cult members ripped to shreds, body parts hanging from trees. They hear something tracking them through the bush.

EXT. FOREST – AFTERNOON

Cult leader sets forest fire to funnel Michael and the women towards a line of shooters.

EXT. FORST – SAME TIME

Michael and the women run from the fire, coughing from smoke, blurred vision from smoke. They use a waterfall to create a bubble over themselves and the fire runs passes over them.

INT. CAVE – NIGHT

Michael leads them to a cave where they can dry their clothes. They eat the last of the food. There are more screams throughout the night. Michael dreams again. This time both the mother and daughter make love to him, the daughter becoming vicious.

INT. CAVE – MORNING

Michael wakes alone and naked. He has deep scratches all over his chest and back. He dresses and finds an old spear under a rock shelf in the cave. Michael leaves to find the women.

EXT. FORSEST – MINUTES LATER

Michael finds the women surrounded by cult members and two police officers with rifles. Billy explains that not all is as it seems. That the daughter must die or else everyone on earth will die. They had wanted power, but the dark lord wanted something else. The daughter’s father is Satan, and she will bring hell to earth. Her having sex with Michael has woken the evil within her.

The monster from the forest attacks the cult members, tearing them apart. Michael breaks free as daughter transforms into she-devil. She and her mother fight with the cult leader, who unleashes with arcane powers.

Michael uses the spear on the monster when it’s attention is on the cult leader. Killing it affects the daughter, and she weakens. Mother attacks Michael to protect her daughter. With no choice, he kills the mother, causing the daughter to go crazy, unleashing dark shadow monsters toward Michael.

Michael and the wounded cult leader work together to lift the spear in time to impale the She-devil, killing her.

A violent storm erupts, like a mini-cyclone, and both men must grab surrounding trees to hang on. When the wind dies down, both women and dead cult members are gone.

EXT. FOREST – EVENING

The cult leader explains that this is an ongoing battle. In a year, the evil will return. “The devil demands his due. He’ll be targeting both of us.” They stagger out of the bush together, now allies.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Logline & One Page

What I learned from this lesson?

I learned the map moving forward to how we will tackle this rewrite and that I will learn a bunch of processes that I can reuse for all future scripts.

LOGLINE: For Heaven’s Sake – FANTASY

Four troubled teens become heaven and earth’s last hope against an alien menace when they’re commanded to go on a holy crusade to steal a powerful weapon called The Staff of Moses.

ONE PAGE: For Heaven’s Sake – FANTASY

Four troubled teens find themselves in a Juvenile boot camp for their crimes. Daniel is the leader and had been acting out because of the death of his grandfather. Freddy is a scrapper who burnt a fishing boat of a rival who stole fish from his father. Ian is a thief who was caught stealing food for his family, and they arrested Rob because he put the boots to his mom’s boyfriend after the man hit her.

The guards of the camp are very abusive, and the group makes a run for it. During the prison escape, they find themselves in an abandoned mining camp. During the middle of the night, a whirling white globe appears, grabs all four and transports them to Heaven. It is here that they find they are part of a prophecy to halt an invasion of Heaven by an alien race from a parallel Heaven. First, they must enter the alien world to steal back the Staff of Moses, which they have stolen.

They place the boys in one of four different warrior classes to learn the unique skills needed to enter the Riff. Daniel learns the skills of a Gurkha soldier. They teach Freddy stick fighting from the Suri tribe. Ian learns stealth from the Ninja, while Rob learns to track and scout from the Comanche warriors.

Thus starts their great journey to the Riff, and they learn to lead and fight along the way. When they enter the enemy stronghold, they steal back the Staff, but the Queen kills Ian. Daniel uses the Queen’s egg to hold back the horde and make their escape.

Back in their own Heaven, Daniel must learn to wield the Staff. He finds Ian has been reborn as a member of Heaven so cannot return to earth. Once he discovers the secrets of the Staff, Freddy and Ian disappear, plotting revenge on the Queen. The group heads back over the mountains to head off the massive army of the Queen.

During a river crossing, they are ambushed, and they capture Daniel, losing the Staff. They march the prisoners to the Queen’s army camp, where she tortures Daniel. The Human army attacks the enemy camp, which causes a distraction for a small group to rescue Daniel. Daniel finds Rob had rescued the Staff.

Daniel uses the power of the staff to push back the alien army. In an ultimate showdown with the Queen, Daniel shows her she has no power over the Staff. As she retreats to the Riff, Freddy and Ian leap on her and kill her. They witness the entire alien army leave for their own home world.

Still not satisfied that Ian cannot return home, Daniel uses the Staff one last time to restore all the lives lost to the time before the Riff appeared. Ian is reborn in his own body and the boys return to Earth only to meet God, who tells them they would need their newly learned skills later in their lives.

[David Wickenden]

Good evening everyone.

My name is David Wickenden. I am the author of 6 novels, 5 thrillers and one Fantasy. I have adapted 5 of those stories to feature film. Although I have sent out for notes, I have tackled no rewrites as I’m uncertain how to approach it. I am hope through this course, I’ll find some strategies. I am finishing up the Thriller course and am part of the Binge Worthy TV course, so am very busy at the computer.

Something unique about me is that I spent 31 years running into burning fires for a living and took early retirement to write full time.

[David Wickenden]

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I, David Wickendedn, agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Thriller Map Ver 1

What I have learned?

How easy it is to transform the map that is easy to read.

Updated Thriller map with Misdirection added.

INT. COTTAGE – DAY

Michael arrives at his cottage. He sees a woman and teenage girl swimming across the lake. Who are they? Must have bought the cottage. He hears gunshots and screams. The women show up pleading for help.

Michael wants to contact the police, but the woman tells him her husband, who wants to kidnap the daughter, owns the police. Michael sees the figures in the bush rushing for his cottage.

Michael packs a bag, and they run. One cult member chases after them.

INT. COTTAGE – NIGHT

The Cult Leader has his men plant a dead man in Michael’s cottage and leaves drugs scattered on the floor. He then calls the police to frame Michael. More men show up and they give chase to Michael and the women.

EXT. BUSH – CONTINUOUS

Michael leads the women to a trail that takes them deeper into the forest. Michael can’t understand why the men would shoot if they wanted to kidnap the girl?

Michael ambushed one of the pursuers, but the man starts beating him. The mother kills the man with an axe.

Michael and the women cut off the trail and move up the mountain. The Cult Leader yells into the night that the woman is not what she appears and is using Michael.

Michael leads the women over the mountain to a swampy area. He finds a dry area and builds a quick shelter for them to sleep. The teen falls to sleep after eating. The mother, Joanna, explains that her husband, Billy, is a cult leader who wants to sacrifice his daughter, Lilith, to raise a demon, which he hopes to control.

The teen has a seizure but falls back to sleep.

Michael has vivid sexual dream with Joanna.

EXT. COTTAGE – NIGHT

The police have found the dead body and the drugs in Michael’s cottage. An APB is issued for Michael’s arrest.

EXT. SWAMP – DAWN

Michael has a plan to reach a fire tower where they can call for help, using the short-wave radio that’s there.

Once at the tower, Michael climbs the tower, while women hide. He gets the message out that he and the women are being chased by the cult members. On his way down the tower, three cult members show up and try to get him to climb down. When he refuses, they shoot at him. AS he tries to stay under cover, two police in a SUV cruiser show up. They exchange gunfire. Michael uses the distraction to zipline from the tower to the bush. One police officer shoots the other with a spare gun. The police officer radios Michael had shot and killed the police officer.

Michael and the women run through the bush. The cult members follow.

EXT. FOREST – AFTERNOON

We watch through the eyes of a predator as it runs through the forest and creeps up to a cult member. It attacks and kills the cult member.

EXT. FOREST – SAME TIME

Michael and the women hear the screams. They find a maple sugar cabin and bunker down for night. Once the daughter falls asleep, Michael and the woman get intimate outside the cabin. During the act, Michael spies the daughter watching them, a hungry look on her face. When they go back inside to sleep, the girl’s spasm awakens them. They hear more scream and roars through the night.

EXT. FOREST – MORNING

Decide to make a run towards the town. They find the remains of a bunch of cult members ripped to shreds, body parts hanging from trees. They hear something tracking them through the bush.

EXT. FOREST – AFTERNOON

Cult leader sets forest fire to funnel Michael and the women towards a line of shooters.

EXT. FORST – SAME TIME

Michael and the women run from the fire, coughing from smoke, blurred vision from smoke. They use a waterfall to create a bubble over themselves and the fire runs passes over them.

INT. CAVE – NIGHT

Michael leads them to a cave where they are able to dry their clothes. They eat the last of the food. There are more screams throughout the night. Michael dreams again. This time both the mother and daughter make love to him, the daughter becoming vicious.

INT. CAVE – MORNING

Michael wakes alone and naked. He is covered in deep scratches. He dresses and finds an old spear in the cave. He leaves to find the women.

EXT. FORSEST – MINUTES LATER

Michael finds the women surrounded by cult members and two police officers with rifles. Billy explains that not all is as it seems. That the daughter must die or else everyone on earth will die. They had wanted power, but the dark lord wanted something else. The daughter’s father is Satan, and she will bring hell to earth. Her having sex with Michael has woken the evil within her.

The monster from the forest attacks the cult members, tearing them apart. Michael breaks free as daughter transforms into she-devil. She and her mother fight with the cult leader, who unleashes with arcane powers.

Michael uses the spear on the monster when it’s attention is on the cult leader. Killing it affects the daughter, and she weakens. Mother attacks Michael to protect her daughter. With no choice, he kills the mother, causing the daughter to go crazy, unleashing dark shadow monsters toward Michael.

Michael and the wounded cult leader work together to lift the spear in time to impale the She-devil, killing her.

A violent storm erupts, like a mini-cyclone, and both men must grab surrounding trees to hang on. When the wind dies down, both women and dead cult members are gone.

EXT. FOREST – EVENING

The cult leader explains that this is an ongoing battle. In a year, the evil will return. “The devil demands his due. He’ll be targeting both of us.” They stagger out of the bush together, now allies.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Episode List Rough Draft

Season 1

1. Season

· Beginning: a pedophile being released from prison is assassinated.

· Ending: The vigilante plans on hunting in Europe.

2. Mystery

· Who is the vigilante?

· Why is the vigilante attacking child abusers?

· Changes in the child sex laws.

3. Journey

· Janice believes fully in the law.

· She learns that sometimes the law is not perfect.

4. Layers

· Vigilante is using the killing of pedophiles to bring public attention to inadequate legal system.

· Janice finds they apply differently the laws for different people, when her superiors make her the scapegoat and plan to kill vigilante.

5. What are the main story Lines?

· How one person with the will to kill can make changes for good.

· The Vigilante’s crusade and outcome.

Outlining Process

Episode 1: An assassin kills an infamous pedophile being released from prison. RCMP Janice Williams (34) is recruited for a task force to hunt down the killer. Intro to Janice. Intro to priest. The killing of crooked Judge.

Episode 2: Janice and teamwork St. Chris case. Vigilante kills Halyard on Nova Scotia. Super with Laura, Janice breaks down. Talk about dreams. Janice finds out that Halyard been killed.

Episode 3: Vigilante kills Jehovah Witness Elders in Winnipeg. Janice and the team make a break in the St. Chris case. Warrants issued. Janice travels to Sudbury. Vigilante kills priest.

Episode 4: Janice attends church. Deal with boy. Finds bodies, and deal with parents. PTSD debriefing with Laura and 1^st responders.

Episode 5: Janice fills the task force in on vigilante’s history and IT scan of department computers. News release. Forbes, Kilgour, and Janice review past case files. Decision to set a trap for Vigilante. Warrants to get manifest documents for traveling to cities where killing took place.

Episode 6: Grismour. Vigilante kills Judge. Then sets a trap for Grismour. Grismour escapes the fire trap. Laura breaks down to Janice over suicides.

Episode 7: Naked child found in a snowdrift in Northern Quebec First Nations Reserve. Resulting investigation. Laura attends for PTSD debriefing of RCMP and town occupants. Manifest arrives and Janice assigns Jamie to go through files.

Episode 8: Find similar cases in U.S. Empty office: Jamie’s report says nothing found. Meets with Director of Canadian to check on dates and cities where his people attended to see if there was a match. Supper with Laura – breakdown, Laura is taking a break from her practice because of suicides.

Episode 9: Update Minister. Jamie accuses Janice of ignoring his report. Find that the document has been altered. Janice’s computer has been hacked. Janice reads the original summary to find a name she recognizes. Susan Danton. Laura’s long dead sister of suicide due to date rape. Laura is the vigilante!

Episode 10: Janice meets with Laura. Finds out the reason. APB on Laura. Janice and Kilgour go to Amos Quebec, where native child abuser is standing trial. Laura in Victoria, BC kills major pornographer. Laura sends bribery information to the press and a demand for the government to strengthen child crime laws.

Episode 11: They transport the Native pedophile to Montreal for prison term and Laura kills him. Minister suspends Janice and Kilgour and looks to fire them. Grismour kidnaps Janice.

Episode 12: Laura fights Grismour and wins. Janice in hospital, Forbes and Kilgour pick her up. Laura escapes across St. Lawrence river to United States. Meets with Forbes, Kilgour, and Janice. Finds out about kill order. Epilog: Laura on a tropical beach with Janice – next target, Europe.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Misdirection

What I have learned?

By having the audience looking one way, when the reveal to the mystery happens, it is that much more of a surprise.

1. Effective misdirection

· Red Herring: During the entire script, we believe that the cult leader is the enemy, but it reveals during the climax that he is trying to avert disaster.

· The Villain’s Plan: The mother puts the blame on the cult leader by saying the cult leader is trying to raise a demon while it is her that is attempting to do this.

· Coverup as reality: Because of the violent actions of the cult, we assume he is the bad guy. It is further reenforced by the mother’s explanation, which is only partially true.

2. In my Thriller map:

a. I use the Character Misdirection by having the cult leader’s action make the audience assume he is evil.

b. I use the Dialog Misdirection through the mother’s explanation.

Updated Thriller map with Misdirection added.

Opening – Michael drives to cabin.

Mystery 1: New neighbors—woman and her teen daughter. Everything is peaceful. TWIST.

Mystery 2: Shooting and screaming. The peace is broken.

Inciting Incident: Women show up being Michael to help them. Armed men chasing them. Trust mother Reveal 1

Second thoughts: Michael wants to get a hold of the police. Woman warns him that the cult has control of the police. Reveal 2

Life Threatening 1: cult members shooting at Michael and the women. Distrust cult leader Misdirection – gunfire is directed at women – Not Michael

Villain’s Plan 1: To get the women by any means, even killing. Clue 1a – Cult leader yells that the women are not who he thinks they are. That they will use Michael and destroy him.

Mystery 3: What is so important about the women that the cult will kill for them? Clue 1b

Life Threatening 2: chased through the woods. Distrust cult leader

Mystery 4: Why are the cult members planting drugs and dead body in Michael’s cabin. TWIST. Cops are after law abiding Michael.

Villain’s Plan 2: Frame Michael so that cops get in the hunt for fugitives. Distrust cult leader Reveal 3

Climax of Act 1 – Michael has to kill one of the cult members with his hatchet.

Overnight in a quick shelter that Michael builds. Woman explains what the cult wants. Sacrifice the girl, who is a virgin, to gain power over a demon. = Misdirection

Mystery 5: Girl has a spasm. What wrong with her? Distrust mother Clue 2a

Mystery 6: Where is Michael taking them? – forest fire smoke tower for short-wave radio. TWIST possible rescue becomes life threatening. Reveal 5

Life threatening: Police show up at the tower and at first attempt to arrest Michael, then the rogue cop shoots and now they are being chased by two different groups. TWIST Reveal 6

Life threatening: Michael has to zipline to escape from tower. Reveal 7

Cops and cult members have shootout until a rogue cop kills his partner with a spare gun. TWIST. Now Michael will be blamed for killing cop. Distrust cult leader

Villain’s Plan 3: Run Michael and the girls down. Give chase. Clue 1C

Mystery 7: Something hunting through the bush. What is hunting them? Kills two cult members and they have to regroup. TWIST. Michael has new ally. Reveal 4 – partial

Michael and mother have a moment in sugar-bush cabin, while daughter is asleep. Trust mother Clue 3a Ends with daughter having another spasm. Clue 2b

Mystery 8: screams echo through the night? Reveal 4 – Partial

Mystery 9: Michael has a vivid dream (dark sexual with mother. TWIST. In dream he sees daughter watching them, smiling with desire) Distrust Mother Reveal 9 Clue 3b

Midpoint Twist: Michael and the women find a bunch of cult followers ripped to shreds, body parts hanging from trees. TWIST. Something else is in the bush with them. Reveal 4 – Partial

Villain’s Plan 4: Starts forest fire to drive Michael and women towards shooters. Distrust cult leader Clue 1b

Life threatening: Race from fire, coughing from smoke, blurred vision from smoke.

TWIST. Hide in stream under rushing water- fire rushes past them. Trusts mother

Mystery 10: More screaming in the night—Daughter once again spasm and then is unconscious. Clue 2c Michael takes them to a cave he used to camp at. Girl is out of it. Reveal 4 – Partial

Dry out in the cave. Finds an ancient spear. Reveal 10 Clue 4a

Mystery 11: Where did the spear come from? Mother is repulsed by spear. Clue 4b Examines the spear – Clue 4c

Michael dreams of rough dark sex, but this time, both mother and daughter take part. Distrust mother Reveal 9 – partial Clue 3c

Mystery 11: TWIST. Michael wakes naked, claw marks on his skin. What happened? Reveal 11

Mystery 12: Where did the women go?

Disaster – 2^nd Big Twist

Michael leaves the cave to find women captured and the cult surrounding the clearing before the cave. Reveal 12

Villain’s Plan: Cult leader begins telling Michael that not all is as it seems. That the daughter must die or else everyone on earth will die. They had wanted power, but the dark lord wanted something else. TWIST. The daughter’s father is Satan and she has come to bring hell to earth. Her having sex with Michael has woken the evil within her. Distrust mother Reveal 9 Full

Climax of Act 2

Life threatening: The monster from the forest attacks the cult members, tearing them apart. Michael breaks free as daughter transforms into she-devil. She, and her mother fight with father who unleashes with arcane powers. trust cult leader/ Distrust mother Reveal 4 – Full, Reveal 14

Life threatening: Michael retrieves the spear and uses it on the monster when it’s attention is on the cult leader. Killing it affects the daughter, and she weakens. trust cult leader/ Distrust mother

Life threatening: TWIST. Michael now has to fight those he protected. Mother attacks Michael to protect her daughter. With no choice, he kills the mother, causing the daughter to go crazy, unleashing dark shadow monsters at Michael. trust cult leader/ Distrust mother Reveal 15

Life threatening: Michael and wounded cult leader work together to lift spear in time to impale she-devil, killing her. trust cult leader/ Distrust mother

Life threatening: A violent storm erupts, like a mini-cyclone, and both men must grab surrounding trees to hang on.

When wind dies down, both women and dead cult members are gone.

Mystery: The cult leader explains that this is an on-going battle. The forces of evil will be back in one more year. TWIST. It’s not over! “The devil demands his due. He’ll be targeting both of us.” Reveal 16

They stagger out of the bush together. trust cult leader

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Five Seasons

What I have learned from this lesson?:

The Building Blocks really helped generate ideas for future seasons.

Possible Stair Steps

· Season 1: Introduction to the vigilante and the efforts of the RCMP to stop her.

· Season 2: Vigilante in France taking on a large, organized crime syndicate.

· Season 3: Vigilante travels to Africa to rescue a family to find that Rebels have forced the children into service as child soldiers.

· Season 4: Vigilante interrupts a large-scale kiddie porn production with worldwide distribution. Laura gets captured at season end.

· Season 5: Janice, her best friend and cop, leads the women Laura has rescued in the past and orchestrates a rescue of Laura from the Russian mob.

Season 1: title: Poetic Justice

· High concept/major hook: A hunted cop tracks a vigilante targeting child abusers.

· Big Picture Arc/Journey: The belief in the legal system is strained when she sees the public support for the vigilante’s action gains.

· Main Conflict: Janice hunting down her best friend who is the vigilante.

· Mystery/Open Loops: Will Janice arrest/kill her best friend.

· Cliffhanger: The vigilante will more her operations to Europe.

Description:

Tasked with stopping a vigilante who is targeting child abusers, an obsessed cop will struggle with the rule of law over real justice.

After seeing the damage caused by child sex crimes, a PTSD Psychiatrist starts a crusade to bring justice to the criminals that the law is incapable of dealing with. Her best friend and former patient is the cop assigned to stop her. Moving ahead of a nationwide manhunt, she is determined to go after the country’s worse abusers before trying to escape.

When the public finds out, a grass-root movement puts pressure on a government to strengthen the laws around child sex crimes.

Season 2: title: Deadly Harvest

· High concept/major hook: Vigilante takes on a major trafficking and organ harvesting organization.

· Big Picture Arc/Journey: Laura learns the real price of her crusade – of being a mother.

· Main Conflict: Laura vs a major crime syndicate who are exploiting children and refugees.

· Mystery/Open Loops: Can Laura put a stop to this practice and save the refugees and the children?

· Cliffhanger: A favor is called in.

Description:

Rule can bind you, but also hide you.

The vigilante rescues a group of children from a trafficking organization, only to find that there is something even more evil happening behind closed doors. Organ harvesting of Syrian refugees. By interfering and putting a criminal syndicate at risk or exposure, Laura paints a target on herself and must expose one of the most powerful political figures in France to survive.

She’ll have to team up with a child prostitute and a rogue, anti-terrorist cop just to survive.

Season 3:

· High concept/major hook: Vigilante takes on the child soldier issue in Africa.

· Big Picture Arc/Journey: Laura is assaulted and must rise from her trauma to continue.

· Main Conflict: Vigilante against a merciless rebel who will use any and everyone for his cause.

· Mystery/Open Loops: Will Laura rise above her trauma?

· Cliffhanger: Laura is shot and left for dead.

Description:

Returning a favor, Laura agrees to journey to Africa to rescue a diplomat and his family kidnapped by rebels. She finds the diplomat dead, and his children enrolled as child soldiers in a non-ending war, where only the dead find peace. Captured and abused, Laura must escape and overcome her trauma if the children have any hope of survival.

Laura finds that there are heroes in everyday people, and she must rely on others rather than going it alone.

Season 4: title: Freeze Frame

· High concept/major hook: Vigilante takes on a kiddie porn production and worldwide distributions empire in Asia.

· Big Picture Arc/Journey: Laura encounters base poverty where life is cheap and must learn her limitations.

· Main Conflict: Laura vs a well-connected organization that reaches around the world.

· Mystery/Open Loops: Can Laura identify the International partners and bring their involvement to light, so that countless children are saved.

· Cliffhanger: Laura is captured at season’s end.

Description:

Left for dead, African bushman rescue Laura and a warrior woman joins her crusade to help bring justice to exploited children. The two travels to Thailand and encounter an international child pornography ring with international partners. The organization is so vast that the only way forward is to identify the partners and expose them. However, criminals and corrupt military personnel will try everything to silence them. After rescuing many children from the organization and releasing the identities of the partners involve, the season ends with Laura being captured by the Russian Mafia.

Season 5: title: The Seeds We Sow

· High concept/major hook: Laura is prisoner of the Russian mob who has captured her to show the world what happens when they interfere with mob business.

· Big Picture Arc/Journey: Laura must learn what her crusade has accomplished and cost.

· Main Conflict: Janice leads a group of former victims Laura has saved, in a rescue attempt to save Laura.

· Mystery/Open Loops: Will Laura survive?

· Cliffhanger: Will Laura live?/can be changed if more seasons are needed.

Description:

Abused and beaten on live television, Laura is being held by the Russian Mafia as an example of anyone crossing them. The Pakhan or Boss was the oligarch Laura had identified to the world as a major trafficker of children for the Thai pornography ring. He has pledged to execute Laura on live-tv unless authorities lift the international Red Notice for his arrest.

Women and children from across the globe who had Laura has saved in the past gather to attempt a prison break to rescue Laura, led by Janice.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden—Dramatic Reveals Assignment 11

What have I learned?

Surprised at how many revels my story idea already had. As I create the first draft, I’ll be able to include these to good effect as well as have the opportunity to add more.

List of reveals:

Reveal 1

· Mystery: who are new neighbors?

· Reveals: Michael meets when they plead for help.

Revel 2

· Mystery: Shooting and screaming – What’s going on?

· Intrigue: women running towards Michael’s cabin

· Reveal: Ex husband trying to kidnap daughter

Reveal 3

· Mystery: Why plant drugs and body?

· Intrigue: Police responding to disturbance, find drugs and body

· Reveal: Michael being hunted

Reveal 4

· Mystery: Spasm. What’s wrong with the girl?

· Intrigue: convulsions followed by screams in the forest

· Reveal: Monster is related to girl

Reveal 5

· Mystery: How will they escape?

· Reveal: fire tower and short-wave radio

Reveal 6

· Intrigue: Cops and Cult exchange fire, while Michael is cornered in fire tower.

· Reveal: one cop kills another, revealing that he is in league with the cult

· Reveal: Michael now blamed in cop killing.

Revel 7

· Mystery: How will Michael escape tower?

· Reveal: zipline cable support

Reveal 8

· Mystery: something hunting in bush

· Reveals: dead cult members

Reveal 9

· Mystery: vivid dreams – sex with mother while daughter watches

· Reveals: daughter needs intercourse to awaken demon

Reveal 10

· Mystery: How to fight back

· Reveal: find spear in cave

Reveal 11

· Mystery: Michael wakes naked covered in scratches.

· Reveal: daughter had sex with him

Reveal 12

· Mystery: Where are the women?

· Reveal: surrounded by cult

Reveal 13

· Why does cult want women?

· Daughter is the devil’s daughter. Here to destroy humanity. Cult is here to destroy her.

Reveal 14

· Mystery: Who is women?

· Reveal: Girl transforms into demon

Reveal 15

· Intrigue: Both Michael and cult leader are expendable

· Reveal: new allies

Reveal 16

· Mystery: What does the devil want?

· Reveal: He’ll be back in one year.\

Most of the reveals were already in place, but had to be identified and tagged as such, and what M.I.S. was used to cover it up.

Updated thriller map

David Wickenden Plot Twists and Turns

Assignment 9

1. I’ll be using the Three-Act Structure.

Opening – Michael drives to cabin.

Mystery 1: New neighbors—woman and her teen daughter. Everything is peaceful. TWIST.

Mystery 2: Shooting and screaming. The peace is broken.

Inciting Incident: Women show up being Michael to help them. Armed men chasing them. Trust mother Reveal 1

Second thoughts: Michael wants to get a hold of the police. Woman warns him that the cult has control of the police. Reveal 2

Life Threatening 1: cult members shooting at Michael and the women. Distrust cult leader

Villain’s Plan 1: To get the women by any means, even killing.

Mystery 3: What is so important about the women that the cult will kill for them?

Life Threatening 2: chased through the woods. Distrust cult leader

Mystery 4: Why are the cult members planting drugs and dead body in Michael’s cabin. TWIST. Cops are after law abiding Michael.

Villain’s Plan 2: Frame Michael so that cops get in the hunt for fugitives. Distrust cult leader Reveal 3

Climax of Act 1 – Michael has to kill one of the cult members with his hatchet.

Overnight in a quick shelter that Michael builds.

Mystery 5: Girl has a spasm. What wrong with her? Distrust mother

Mystery 6: Where is Michael taking them? – forest fire smoke tower for short-wave radio. TWIST possible rescue becomes life threatening. Reveal 5

Life threatening: Police show up at the tower and at first attempt to arrest Michael, then the rogue cop shoots and now they are being chased by two different groups. TWIST Reveal 6

Life threatening: Michael has to zipline to escape from tower. Reveal 7

Cops and cult members have shootout until rogue cop kills his partner with spare gun. TWIST. Now Michael will be blamed for killing cop. Distrust cult leader

Villain’s Plan 3: Run Michael and the girls down. Give chase.

Mystery 7: Something hunting through the bush. What is hunting them? Kills two cult members and they have to regroup. TWIST. Michael has new ally. Reveal 4 – partial

Michael and mother have a moment in sugar-bush cabin, while daughter is asleep. Trust mother Ends with daughter having another spasm.

Mystery 8: screams echo through the night? Reveal 4 – Partial

Mystery 9: Michael has a vivid dream (dark sexual with mother. TWIST. In dream he sees daughter watching them, smiling with desire) Distrust Mother Reveal 9

Midpoint Twist: Michael and the women find a bunch of cult followers ripped to shreds, body parts hanging from trees. TWIST. Something else is in the bush with them. Reveal 4 – Partial

Villain’s Plan 4: Starts forest fire to drive Michael and women towards shooters. Distrust cult leader

Life threatening: Race from fire, coughing from smoke, blurred vision from smoke.

TWIST. Hide in stream under rushing water- fire rushes past them. Trusts mother

Mystery 10: More screaming in the night—Daughter once again spasm and then is unconscious. Michael takes them to a cave he used to camp at. Girl is out of it. Reveal 4 – Partial

Dry out in the cave. Finds an ancient spear. Reveal 10

Mystery 11: Where did the spear come from?

Michael dreams of rough dark sex, but this time, both mother and daughter take part. Distrust mother Reveal 9 – partial

Mystery 11: TWIST. Michael wakes naked, claw marks on his skin. What happened? Reveal 11

Mystery 12: Where did the women go?

Disaster – 2^nd Big Twist

Michael leaves the cave to find women captured and the cult surrounding the clearing before the cave. Reveal 12

Villain’s Plan: Cult leader begins telling Michael that not all is as it seems. That the daughter must die or else everyone on earth will die. They had wanted power, but the dark lord wanted something else. TWIST. The daughter’s father is Satan and she has come to bring hell to earth. Her having sex with Michael has woken the evil within her. Distrust mother Reveal 9 Full

Climax of Act 2

Life threatening: The monster from the forest attacks the cult members, tearing them apart. Michael breaks free as daughter transforms into she-devil. She, and her mother fight with father who unleashes with arcane powers. trust cult leader/ Distrust mother Reveal 4 – Full, Reveal 14

Life threatening: Michael retrieves the spear and uses it on the monster when it’s attention is on the cult leader. Killing it affects the daughter, and she weakens. trust cult leader/ Distrust mother

Life threatening: TWIST. Michael now has to fight those he protected. Mother attacks Michael to protect her daughter. With no choice, he kills the mother, causing the daughter to go crazy, unleashing dark shadow monsters at Michael. trust cult leader/ Distrust mother Reveal 15

Life threatening: Michael and wounded cult leader work together to lift spear in time to impale she-devil, killing her. trust cult leader/ Distrust mother

Life threatening: A violent storm erupts, like a mini-cyclone, and both men must grab surrounding trees to hang on.

When wind dies down, both women and dead cult members are gone.

Mystery: The cult leader explains that this is an on-going battle. The forces of evil will be back in one more year. TWIST. It’s not over! “The devil demands his due. He’ll be targeting both of us.” Reveal 16

They stagger out of the bush together. trust cult leader

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Intriguing Concept and World

What I have learned?

I like the idea that earlier work will be used for the bible and the pitch. Having done neither, but have completed the earlier coursework, including the BW Framework, I know I can do this.

1. Present your concept.

· A haunted Child Crimes RCMP officer hunting child abusers

· …tasked to hunt a vigilante targeting pedos…

· …tries to stay true to the law…

· …tempted when killer is her best friend.

2. Intriguing World

From BW Framework

A. The hidden world of child exploitation…

B. …through the experience of a PTSD psychiatrist turned vigilante …

C. …as she hunt abusers and saves children.

· Unique sub-world: International exploitation of children.

· Previously unexplored: status, power, and depravity.

· The unknown: How the traffickers/exploiters will react.

· The unseen: Police investigation, criminal organizations and politicians.

· Unheard of Dangers: traffickers willing to kill any who threaten their trade.

· Reason to explore it: massive amounts of money second to drugs.

My show’s world: The international trade of children is worth billions, with little risk from authorities overwhelmed, corrupt, or hindered by politics or borders.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Trust Relationships

What I learned: As I broke down the trust/distrust between the characters, I saw that it flip/flopped throughout the story between Michael and the women he was trying to help. With the Cult Leader, there was no flip/flop until the climax and then everything changed. Good exercise.

1.Characters

· Hero: Michael

· Villain: Mother and Daughter

· Red Hearing: Cult Leader

· Trusted, but shouldn’t: Mother and Daughter

· Isn’t trusted, but should be: Cult Leader

2. Character questions:

Michael

· Basic state: trustable

· Trustable/not trustable: we don’t know much about him, except what we see at the beginning of the story.

· Switch? – betrayal

Mother/Daughter

· Basic state – Trustable – face value.

· Trustable/not trustable: running from killers. We assume they are the victims. If we find out different, that might change.

· Switch? – survival, and/or end goal.

Cult Leader

· Basic state – Untrustable

· Trustable/not trustable: chasing the women, trying to kill/kidnap them.

· Switch? – End game, truth is exposed.

3. trust/distrust shown

Michael/mother-daughter: trusted, should not be trusted.

Trust

· Saving each other

· Affection

· Sexual encounter

Untrust

· Betrayal

· Abandonment

· Lies

· Allow the other to be sacrificed for ambitions.

Michael/Cult Leader – Not trusted, should be trusted.

Untrust

· Chasing them

· Violence

· Shooting at them

· Setting Michael up with the police

Trust

· Truth

· Betrayal by others

4. Trust/Distrust Sequences

Michael/Mother-daughter

Trust – mother and daughter being chased by gun totting men.

Distrust – Mother tells Michael that the cult leader is her husband.

Trust – Work together to escape.

Distrust – daughter has spasm – monster in the forest.

Trust – cult leader has turned the police against Michael to hunt mother/daughter.

Trust – have sexual moment.

Distrust – finds daughter is watching them have sex – her expression is desire.

Trust – escape forest fire together

Trust – sex

Distrust – disturbing dark sexual dreams

Distrust – daughter transforms and the women and the beast attack Michael.

Michael/ Cult Leader

Distrust – chasing women.

Distrust – frames Michael and turns police against him.

Distrusts – shooting.

Distrusts – sets forest fire to kill Michael and the women.

Trusts – Daughter transforms into demon.

Trusts – battle between Michael and the cult leader vs Mother/daughter and monster.

Trusts – the demon will return.

Updated Thriller Map

1. I’ll be using the Three-Act Structure.

Opening – Michael drives to cabin.

Mystery 1: New neighbors—woman and her teen daughter. Everything is peaceful. TWIST.

Mystery 2: Shooting and screaming. The peace is broken.

Inciting Incident: Women show up being Michael to help them. Armed men chasing them. Trust mother

Second thoughts: Michael wants to get a hold of the police. Woman warns him that the cult has control of the police.

Life Threatening 1: cult members shooting at Michael and the women. Distrust cult leader

Villain’s Plan 1: To get the women by any means, even killing.

Mystery 3: What is so important about the women that the cult will kill for them?

Life Threatening 2: chased through the woods. Distrust cult leader

Mystery 4: Why are the cult members planting drugs and dead body in Michael’s cabin. TWIST. Cops are after law abiding Michael.

Villain’s Plan 2: Frame Michael so that cops get in the hunt for fugitives. Distrust cult leader

Climax of Act 1 – Michael has to kill one of the cult members with his hatchet.

Overnight in a quick shelter that Michael builds.

Mystery 5: Girl has a spasm. What wrong with her? Distrust mother

Mystery 6: Where is Michael taking them? – forest fire smoke tower for short-wave radio. TWIST possible rescue becomes life threatening.

Life threatening: Police show up at the tower and at first attempt to arrest Michael, then the rogue cop shoots and now they are being chased by two different groups. TWIST

Life threatening: Michael has to zipline to escape from tower.

Cops and cult members have shootout until rogue cop kills his partner with spare gun. TWIST. Now Michael will be blamed for killing cop. Distrust cult leader

Villain’s Plan 3: Run Michael and the girls down. Give chase.

Mystery 7: Something hunting through the bush. What is hunting them? Kills two cult members and they have to regroup. TWIST. Michael has new ally.

Michael and mother have a moment in sugar-bush cabin, while daughter is asleep. Trust mother Ends with daughter having another spasm.

Mystery 8: screams echo through the night?

Mystery 9: Michael has a vivid dream (dark sexual with mother. TWIST. In dream he sees daughter watching them, smiling with desire) Distrust Mother

Midpoint Twist: Michael and the women find a bunch of cult followers ripped to shreds, body parts hanging from trees. TWIST. Something else is in the bush with them.

Villain’s Plan 4: Starts forest fire to drive Michael and women towards shooters. Distrust cult leader

Life threatening: Race from fire, coughing from smoke, blurred vision from smoke.

TWIST. Hide in stream under rushing water- fire rushes past them. Trusts mother

Mystery 10: More screaming in the night—Daughter once again spasm and then is unconscious. Michael takes them to a cave he used to camp at. Girl is out of it.

Dry out in the cave. Finds an ancient spear.

Mystery 11: Where did the spear come from?

Michael dreams of rough dark sex, but this time, both mother and daughter take part. Distrust mother

Mystery 11: TWIST. Michael wakes naked, claw marks on his skin. What happened?

Mystery 12: Where did the women go?

Disaster – 2^nd Big Twist

Michael leaves the cave to find women captured and the cult surrounding the clearing before the cave.

Villain’s Plan: Cult leader begins telling Michael that not all is as it seems. That the daughter must die or else everyone on earth will die. They had wanted power, but the dark lord wanted something else. TWIST. The daughter’s father is Satan and she has come to bring hell to earth. Her having sex with Michael has woken the evil within her. Distrust mother

Climax of Act 2

Life threatening: The monster from the forest attacks the cult members, tearing them apart. Michael breaks free as daughter transforms into she-devil. She, and her mother fight with father who unleashes with arcane powers. trust cult leader/ Distrust mother

Life threatening: Michael retrieves the spear and uses it on the monster when it’s attention is on the cult leader. Killing it affects the daughter, and she weakens. trust cult leader/ Distrust mother

Life threatening: TWIST. Michael now has to fight those he protected. Mother attacks Michael to protect her daughter. With no choice, he kills the mother, causing the daughter to go crazy, unleashing dark shadow monsters at Michael. trust cult leader/ Distrust mother

Life threatening: Michael and wounded cult leader work together to lift spear in time to impale she-devil, killing her. trust cult leader/ Distrust mother

Life threatening: A violent storm erupts, like a mini-cyclone, and both men must grab surrounding trees to hang on.

When wind dies down, both women and dead cult members are gone.

Mystery: The cult leader explains that this is an on-going battle. The forces of evil will be back in one more year. TWIST. It’s not over! “The devil demands his due. He’ll be targeting both of us.”

They stagger out of the bush together. trust cult leader

[David Wickenden]

Looking for a partner to exchange framework for feedback. If interested, contact me at wickendendave@gmail.com

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden BW FRAMEWORK

What I learned?

This really pulled everything together. Still need to get feedback, but the template really helped. I can see how this will benefit when the writing begins.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Open Loops Assignment #1

What I learned doing this assignment? I learned that both large and small loops keep the viewers glued to the story to see how the issues or loops resolve themselves as part of the story. This is a great tool to create an obsession for the story.

Mr. Robot

1. Large Loops

· Will Elliot be able to take down ECorps?

· Will he be caught?

· Will Elliot’s boss realize what he’s doing?

· Will Eliot go toe to toe with Wellick?

· Will Elliot and Portia ever be a thing?

· What will White Rose want in return for help?

· What does Mr. Robot really want?

2. Latest episode

· Elliot realizes that he is Mr. Robot. He portrayed his father in the role of Mr. Robot.

· Gideon is starting to see events around his business are happening that he has no control over. – the destruction of the hard drives in fire, the firing of Wellick, the change with the honey pot.

· Elliot may not be able to function as he falls apart, mentally.

· Wellick confronts Elliot and threats him to beat his plan out of him.

Assignment #2 Large Loops for my story

1. Will killer be caught for killing child abusers?

2. Will Janice figure out that the killer is Laura?

3. Will Janice figure out how the killer is one step ahead of her?

4. What will happen to their relationship?

5. What will happen to Janice’s career if she is unsuccessful in finding the killer?

6. Will Janice’s superiors find out about her past?

7. Will Laura be able to escape the country?

[David Wickenden]

Ignore my previous post. I submitted it to the wrong forum. This is the right post.

David Wickenden Plot Twists and Turns

Assignment 9

1. I’ll be using the Three-Act Structure.

Opening – Michael drives to cabin.

Mystery 1: New neighbors—woman and her teen daughter. Everything is peaceful. TWIST.

Mystery 2: Shooting and screaming. The peace is broken.

Inciting Incident: Women show up being Michael to help them. Armed men chasing them.

Second thoughts: Michael wants to get a hold of the police. Woman warns him that the cult has control of the police.

Life Threatening 1: cult members shooting at Michael and the women.

Villain’s Plan 1: To get the women by any means, even killing.

Mystery 3: What is so important about the women that the cult will kill for them?

Life Threatening 2: chased through the woods.

Mystery 4: Why are the cult members planting drugs and dead body in Michael’s cabin. TWIST. Cops are after law abiding Michael.

Villain’s Plan 2: Frame Michael so that cops get in the hunt for fugitives.

Climax of Act 1 – Michael has to kill one of the cult members with his hatchet.

Overnight in a quick shelter that Michael builds.

Mystery 5: Girl has a spasm. What wrong with her?

Mystery 6: Where is Michael taking them? – forest fire smoke tower for short-wave radio. TWIST possible rescue becomes life threatening.

Life threatening: Police show up at the tower and at first attempt to arrest Michael, then the rogue cop shoots and now they are being chased by two different groups. TWIST

Life threatening: Michael has to zipline to escape from tower.

Cops and cult members have shootout until rogue cop kills his partner with spare gun. TWIST. Now Michael will be blamed for killing cop.

Villain’s Plan 3: Run Michael and the girls down. Give chase.

Mystery 7: Something hunting through the bush. What is hunting them? Kills two cult members and they have to regroup. TWIST. Michael has new ally.

Michael and mother have a moment in sugar bush cabin while daughter is asleep. Ends with daughter having another spasm.

Mystery 8: screams echo through the night?

Mystery 9: Michael has a vivid dream (dark sexual with mother. TWIST. In dream he sees daughter watching them, smiling with desire)

Midpoint Twist: Michael and the women find a bunch of cult followers ripped to shreds, body parts hanging from trees. TWIST. Something else is in the bush with them.

Villain’s Plan 4: Starts forest fire to drive Michael and women towards shooters.

Life threatening: Race from fire, coughing from smoke, blurred vision from smoke.

TWIST. Hide in stream under rushing water- fire rushes past them.

Mystery 10: More screaming in the night—Daughter once again spasm and then is unconscious. Michael takes them to a cave he used to camp at. Girl is out of it.

Dry out in the cave. Finds an ancient spear.

Mystery 11: Where did the spear come from?

Michael dreams of rough dark sex, but this time, both mother and daughter take part.

Mystery 11: TWIST. Michael wakes naked, claw marks on his skin. What happened?

Mystery 12: Where did the women go?

Disaster – 2^nd Big Twist

Michael leaves the cave to find women captured and the cult surrounding the clearing before the cave.

Villain’s Plan: Cult leader begins telling Michael that not all is as it seems. That the daughter must die or else everyone on earth will die. They had wanted power, but the dark lord wanted something else. TWIST. The daughter’s father is Satan and she has come to bring hell to earth. Her having sex with Michael has woken the evil within her.

Climax of Act 2

Life threatening: The monster from the forest attacks the cult members, tearing them apart. Michael breaks free as daughter transforms into she-devil. She, and her mother fight with father who unleashes with arcane powers.

Life threatening: Michael retrieves the spear and uses it on the monster when it’s attention is on the cult leader. Killing it affects the daughter, and she weakens.

Life threatening: TWIST. Michael now has to fight those he protected. Mother attacks Michael to protect her daughter. With no choice, he kills the mother, causing the daughter to go crazy, unleashing dark shadow monsters at Michael.

Life threatening: Michael and wounded cult leader work together to lift spear in time to impale she-devil, killing her.

Life threatening: A violent storm erupts, like a mini-cyclone, and both men must grab surrounding trees to hang on.

When wind dies down, both women and dead cult members are gone.

Mystery: The cult leader explains that this is an on-going battle. The forces of evil will be back in one more year. TWIST. It’s not over! “The devil demands his due. He’ll be targeting both of us.”

They stagger out of the bush together.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Creating Irony!

Lesson 11 Assignment #1

What did I learn?

There are many examples of irony in most stories if we are open to it. It’s all about perception; some are in your face, while other are under the surface that we sense but do not identify. Everyone loves it when the antagonist gets it in the end. If the means is similar to what the antagonist has done in the past, the irony is that much more appreciated.

Mr. Robot

· Abused by Father, yet has a personality that talks and acts like his father.

· Elliot is lonely but refuses to open himself up to anyone.

· Wants to take down ECorps but doesn’t want the fallout.

· Elliot first comes across as a saviour, but becomes a destroyer.

· Elliot tries to save Shayla but ends up getting her killed.

· Elliot can hack anyone but himself.

· Elliot is lonely but he has so many voices in his head.

Assignment #2

· Laura, who helps people, now is a killer.

· Janice say’s she is cured, but still cannot face a dark room.

· Laura wants to protect but must give up everything to do so.

· To hunt monsters, Laura must become a monster herself.

· Commander of RCMP wants the truth, but will sacrifice Janice to keep his job.

· Minister of Justice wants Laura dead.

· Commander puts Janice on task force to act as scapegoat.

· Laura, the hunter is hunted.

· Janice was once a victim and is now a persecutor of child abusers.

· Laura looks for justice and then kills child abusers.

· Janice is lonely, but fear of anyone knowing of her past keeps her alone.

· Laura wants to protect Janice yet abuses her trust.

· Laura learned the skills of first responders to help them, but now uses those skills to hunt child abusers.

· Government wants Laura to face judgement, but is willing to kill her.

· Judge takes bribes.

· Janice and Laura both hunt child abusers but from different ends of the law.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Thriller Plot

Assignment 8

1. I’ll be using the Three-Act Structure.

Opening – Michael drives to cabin.

Mystery 1: New neighbors—woman and her teen daughter

Mystery 2: Shooting and screaming.

Inciting Incident: Women show up being Michael to help them. Armed men chasing them.

Second thoughts: Michael wants to get a hold of the police. Woman warns him that the cult has control of the police.

Life Threatening 1: cult members shooting at Michael and the women.

Villain’s Plan 1: To get the women by any means, even killing.

Mystery 3: What is so important about the women that the cult will kill for them?

Life Threatening 2: chased through the woods

Mystery 4: Why are the cult members planting drugs and dead body in Michael’s cabin.

Villain’s Plan 2: Frame Michael so that cops get in the hunt for fugitives.

Climax of Act 1 – Michael has to kill one of the cult members with his hatchet.

Overnight in a quick shelter that Michael builds.

Mystery 5: Girl has a spasm. What wrong with her?

Mystery 6: Where is Michael taking them? – forest fire smoke tower for short-wave radio.

Life threatening: Police show up at the tower and at first attempt to arrest Michael, then the rogue cop shoots and now they are being chased by two different groups.

Life threatening: Michael has to zipline to escape from tower.

Cops and cult members have shootout until rogue cop kills his partner with spare gun.

Villain’s Plan 3: Run Michael and the girls down. Give chase.

Mystery 7: Something hunting through the bush. What is hunting them? Kills two cult members and they have to regroup.

Michael and mother have a moment in the sugar bush cabin while daughter is asleep. Ends with daughter having another spasm.

Mystery 8: screams echo through the night?

Mystery 9: Michael has a vivid dream (dark sexual with mother. In dream he sees daughter watching them, smiling with desire)

Midpoint Twist: Michael and the women find a bunch of cult followers ripped to shreds, body parts hanging from trees. Something is in the bush with them.

Villain’s Plan 4: Starts forest fire to drive Michael and women towards shooters.

Life threatening: Race from fire, coughing from smoke, blurred vision from smoke.

Hide in stream under rushing water- fire rushes past them.

Mystery 10: More screaming in the night—Daughter once again spasm and then is unconscious. Michael takes them to a cave he used to camp at. Girl is out of it.

Dry out in the cave. Finds an ancient spear.

Mystery 11: Where did the spear come from?

Michael dreams of rough dark sex, but this time, both mother and daughter take part.

Mystery 11: Michael wakes naked, claw marks on his skin. What happened?

Mystery 12: Where did the women go?

Disaster – 2^nd Big Twist

Michael leaves the cave to find women captured and the cult surrounding the clearing before the cave.

Villain’s Plan: Cult leader begins telling Michael that not all is as it seems. That the daughter must die or else everyone on earth will die. They had wanted power, but the dark lord wanted something else. The daughter’s father is Satan and she has come to bring hell to earth. Her having sex with Michael has woken the evil within her.

Climax of Act 2

Life threatening: The monster from the forest attacks the cult members, tearing them apart. Michael breaks free as daughter transforms into she-devil. She, and her mother fight with father who unleashes with arcane powers

Life threatening: Michael retrieves the spear and uses it on the monster when it’s attention is on the cult leader. Killing it affects the daughter, and she weakens.

Life threatening: Mother attacks Michael to protect her daughter. With no choice, he kills the mother, causing the daughter to go crazy, unleashing dark shadow monsters at Michael.

Life threatening: Michael and wounded cult leader work together to lift spear in time to impale she-devil, killing her.

Life threatening: A violent storm erupts, like a mini-cyclone, and both men must grab surrounding trees to hang on.

When wind dies down, both women and dead cult members are gone.

Mystery: The cult leader explains that this is an on-going battle. The forces of evil will be back in one more year. “The devil demands his due. He’ll be targeting both of us.”

They stagger out of the bush together.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Plot and Character Layers

Assignment 1

Mr. Robot

Layer #1: Elliot suffers from mental health issues.

Layer #2: We find he is using morphine to control his anxiety rather than the medicine prescribed to him by his doctor.

Layer #3: His paranoia has him hacking anyone he comes in contact with, to protect both himself and those closest to him.

Layer #4: He joins a group of Hackers who want to save the world from ECorps.

Layer #5: He immediately becomes essential to the group’s tactics.

Layer #6: Elliot has forgotten that he has a sister.

Layer #7: It turns out that Mr. Robot is Elliot’s father, who dies years ago.

Layer #8: Elliot then finds out that his father is dead, and that Mr. Robot is, in fact, Elliot himself, just an unknown personality.

Layer #9: When Tyrell confronts Elliot, he forces the entire sabotage plan from Elliot.

Layer #10: Elliot wakes up 3 days after, with no knowledge of what has happened, he finds that he, in his Mr. Robot personality, has orchestrated the hack, destroying ECorps and killed Tyrell.

Assignment #2

Plot Layers

· A well-known child abuser is assassinated upon being released from prison.

· Mystery – who killed him and why?

· Seems to be a revenge story.

· Vigilante has been killing child abusers for years.

· Vigilante plans to cause a political storm to force the government to change laws.

· Vigilante is using her best friend to discover the plans of the police.

Character Layers

· Laura is the vigilante.

· She is best friend to the investigator and has been stealing information for her crusade.

· Janice knows nothing of Laura’s crusade. Laura is doing this partly to protect people like Janice who have been targeted by pedophiles. Hopes that the public outcry will for the government to change the penalties to reflect the crime.

· Laura’s sister committed suicide because the man who raped her walked from the charge because of the system.

Plot Surface

· Layer 1: Janice is a cop hunting child abusers. Laura is a physiatrist who councils first responders on PTSD.

· Layer 2: Janice still has mental health issues over her past trauma. I tis what pushes her to be the best cop out there. Laura helps and protects Janice from herself and her bosses.

· Layer 3: Janice is assigned to a task force to hunt down vigilante.

· Layer 4: Janice discovers that Laura is the vigilante and has been killing child abusers.

· Layer 5: Janice is almost paralysed with the fear that she may have kill Laura.

Character Surface

· Layer #1: Janice is haunted but driven to apprehend child abusers.

· Layer #2: Janice is torn between her duty and following orders to join task force.

· Layer #3: Once vigilante is discovered, Janice has a conflict of interest, but upper management force her to continue. Scapegoat.

· Layer 4: Janice is almost paralysed with the fear that she may have kill Laura.

· Layer 5: Janice works to ensure that Laura is treated fairly under the law and not killed outright.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Life Threatening Sequence

What did I learn is…

This sequence of danger interlaced with the mystery and intrigue will keep the viewer on the edge of their seat in excitement, fear, and anticipation.

1. Villain’s plan and how does that put the Hero in danger?

The Hero is unaware of who the real villain is. Michael believes that the Cult Leader is his enemy. The cult members are chasing the trio and Michael believes the Cult Leader is trying to abduct the women for some kind of ceremony.

2. What potential dangers could the hero experience as they try to solve mystery and confront Villain?

They will chase Michael, shoot at him, knife attack, attempted arrest by bogus police mixed with legitimate police, and burnt by a forest fire meant to coral him and his wards. There is also the danger of confronting the creature that prowls the forest; some monstrous creature that stalks the group and kills their enemies.

3. All of them.

4. Sequence

I. The chase will be on-going.

II. When the cult members get close enough, there is the danger of being shot.

III. Cult members plant drugs at Michael’s cottage and dead body for police to find. Cops want to catch him and might end up shooting first.

IV. Michael will have to fight hand to hand with one cult member with knives.

V. Michael and the mother will have a moment. Afterwards, he has vivid, sexual-violent dreams. This is the first glimmer that things might not be as they seem.

VI. As things escalate, the monster will at first stalk the group—we’ll see through a pair of unworldly eyes. Michael and his group will see flashes of some dark and large creature around their camp. They will see the star being blocked out by something that is flying overhead at night. They will also hear the screams of the creature’s victims.

VII. Michael will race to an observation (fire tower) where he knows a short-wave radio is that he can use to call for help. Police arrive and one rogue officer kills his partner and then tries to grab the women, wounding Michael. The trio escape and the cop starts a fire that will push the trio back towards the other cult members who are still hunting them.

VIII. Hide out in the cave to avoid fire. Another sexual night. This time, first the woman and then her daughter take him in his dream. He wakes up with savage scratches over his body. The daughter transforms and thanks him for protecting her and for helping her become a woman. Michael is weakened and is terrified that the dream was real. That she could kill him at any moment. Find an ancient spear head in cave and forms a spear.

IX. Confrontation between Cult Leader and the trio. Creature appears as a guardian to the daughter. Father and daughter fight with arcane magic. When Michael stops the mother from killing the Cult leader in cold blood, he must fight the guardian with the spear.

X. With the cult leader down, it is up to Michael to stop the girl, before she fully manifests to her full powers and destroys the world. He knocks out mother but is wounded by daughter. Big fight scene, where Michael kills the girl, just as her full powers are filling her.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Mystery Sequence

What I learned from this?

By working backwards and determining the mysteries and planning the coverup, it helps in the outlining of the story. Each layer fills in the missing pieces of the story to create a full outline.

1. Big secret: The secret is who the daughter and her mother are and why the cult wants them back.

2. Ways to cover the secret:

· Part of the truth—Mother explains the cult wants her daughter to sacrifice her for some Satanic ceremony.

· Cult will kill to get them back.

· Cult will frame Michael to cut off any help he might look for.

3. Hero tries to solve the mystery.

· Michael questions both the mother and daughter.

· Michael questions captured cult member.

· Michael questions Cult Leader.

4. Sequence of mysteries.

I. Who and what are the women?

II. Why is the Cult Leader so determined to capture these two women and not other victims, now that they have escaped? Red Herring.

III. What in the forest is killing the cult members?

IV. What’s wrong with the daughter? – spasms first while sleeping, then, while awake?

5. Mystery Chains:

A. Who and what are the women?

· Michael first sees mother and daughter from across the lake having fun in the water. Thinks they look normal, happy.

· Sees them both horrified as armed men chase them.

· Mother explains that her ex-husband is a cult leader they are trying to escape.

· Mother explains that Cult Leader has plans to sacrifice his daughter to gain control of some demon.

· The cult leader is relentless and will kill anyone who gets in the way.

· Mother seduces Michael.

· Nightmares ensue until he wakes after a sensual one to find he has slept with the daughter, which awakens her. She needed to lose her virginity to a good person to transform.

B. Why is the Cult Leader so determined to capture these two women? Red Herring.

· Relentless

· Cult member tells Michael that the mother stole the girl. That the leader has custody, and the mother is legally in the wrong.

· Cult leader refuses to negotiate. Release the women or die.

· Cult leader orders the police infiltrator to keep authorities blind to their actions.

· Keeps coming even as his men are slaughtered.

· He knows what the daughter is and is trying to destroy her before she awakens. Satan’s daughter.

C. What in the forest is killing the cult members?

· Strange shadows that blot out the stars.

· Something moving in the dark.

· Screams coming from behind the group.

· Cult members dismembered.

D. What’s wrong with the daughter? Spasms.

· Tossing and turning in sleep.

· Spasm while sleeping.

· Spasm while awake.

· Warning sign that the night creature is getting close.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Villain Has a Great Plan!

What I learned is… ?

I like the idea of reverse engineering the plan. When I first visualize my story, I have the main idea of what the story will be about and I can usually picture how it might end, but when I get into the writing, and I am a punster (no outlining in the past) I struggle with the middle section. With this reverse engineering of the plan, it helps me develop what has to take place within the plan and what my protagonist must do to overcome the obstacles to thwart the plan.

1. What is the end goal?

The end goal for the Villain is to capture the woman and her daughter. The woman is to be punished for going against the cult leader. The girl, the daughter is to be part of a satanic ritual that will call out and control a demon.

2. How can the Villain accomplish that in a devious way?

The Villain and his cult members will cut Michael and the women off from any help. Even the police will be after the fugitives, leaving them isolated at the mercy of the cult.

3. How can they cover it up?

The police will respond to the report of gunfire in the area and find Michael’s cabin broken in. When they investigate, they will find bags full of methamphetamines and extasy. They will also find a firearm. This will get the police on the side of the cult to help hunt down the trio.

4. Sequence it to make it as intriguing as possible?

Michael will run to a place where he can contact the police, unaware that they are hunting him.

The Cult will be on his trail, pressuring him to keep moving with little time to think and plan.

The cult will also have one of their members within the police department who is feeding them information and keeping the sheriff on the wrong track.

To make matters worse, the women are playing their own game, playing Michael and the Cult leader against each other for their reasons. But Michael will not be aware of this, as will be under the surface. The mother will seduce Michael at one point to gain his trust and loyalty.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Open Loops Assignment #1

What I learned doing this assignment? I learned that both large and small loops keep the viewers glued to the story to see how the issues or loops resolve themselves as part of the story. This is a great tool to create an obsession for the story.

Mr. Robot

1. Large Loops

· Will Elliot be able to take down ECorps?

· Will he be caught?

· Will Elliot’s boss realize what he’s doing?

· Will Eliot go toe to toe with Wellick?

· Will Elliot and Portia ever be a thing?

· What will White Rose want in return for help?

· What does Mr. Robot really want?

2. Latest episode

· Elliot realizes that he is Mr. Robot. He portrayed his father in the role of Mr. Robot.

· Gideon is starting to see events around his business are happening that he has no control over. – the destruction of the hard drives in fire, the firing of Wellick, the change with the honey pot.

· Elliot may not be able to function as he falls apart, mentally.

· Wellick confronts Elliot and threats him to beat his plan out of him.

Assignment #2 Large Loops for my story

1. Will killer be caught for killing child abusers?

2. Will Janice figure out that the killer is Laura?

3. Will Janice figure out how the killer is one step ahead of her?

4. What will happen to their relationship?

5. What will happen to Janice’s career if she is unsuccessful in finding the killer?

6. Will Janice’s superiors find out about her past?

7. Will Laura be able to escape the country?

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Stacking Suspense

Assignment #2

The Silence of the Lambs

· I’ll admit having seen the movie years ago and not enjoying it, having read most of the series by Thomas Harris, and despising what Michael Mann had done to the original Red Dragon—changed to Manhunter. Going through this movie today, with the breakdown of the M.I.S., I have much more appreciation for the film.

· Throughout the entire movie, all three M.I. S. are clear. Even when one is absent, the other two carry the story forward.

· By interlacing the M.I.S. together, it keeps the viewer question, wondering and trying to figure where the story will go. In essence, it pulls the viewer into the story as if they play an active role—a partner to Clarise. We can also feel her fears, as we know just how much she stands to lose if unsuccessful.

· By stacking the M.I. S., the story never has a lull or dead spot, but races head-on towards the climax

· This story also had two different stories. 1^st. It was about Clarise hunting Buffalo Bill, but as Hannibal told her she had all the clues already. He may have given her clues, but she did solve the riddle of who the killer was. The 2^nd story was Hannibal’s escape. The two stories interconnected, but both use stacking M.I. S., so they moved, one as fast as the other. We were cheering for Clarise, our hero, but I, for one, can admit, I was cheering Hannibal on to escape. I even appreciated that he was killing the doctor at the end of the scene.

I think this fascination of Hannibal is why both the book and the other movies continue to do well. Of course, with Hopkins as Hannibal, it is irresistible.

I will definitly use this tactic for both my scripts and my novels.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden BI Stacking Suspense

ASSIGNMENT #1 Fatal Attraction

Thriller Conventions

· High Stake: more killing, including Nick.

· Life & death: Nick’s job, sanity, and life.

· Mystery: Who is the killer and why?

· Hero/Villain: Nick is a cop with a past, hindered by politics, mind games, and his growing affection for main suspect.

· Emotions: Suspense, mystery, tension, the unknown, and surprise.

Characters with M.I.S.:

M.I.S. in each scene – see spreadsheet.

The writers drop mysteries and suspense throughout the film, letting clues and truths out minutely so that the viewer never truly understands the truth of the matter. Even during the final scene, we see Cathy reaching under the bed for something, but when Nick say’s the right thing, she turns over to kiss him without any weapon. Afterwards, we see the ice pick under the bed. It leaves a final question of mystery that each individual view must answer for themselves.

For every question we have answered, two more pop up.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden – Show Mysteries

Assignment #2

1. Shocking Event

· Assassination of a child abuser as he is released from prison.

Mysteries

· Who is the killer and what it the motive?

· How does the vigilante know every move the police make?

Investigation

· Past killings

· Examining past M.O.

· Travel manifests

· Victim histories

Who: Laura, Janice’s best friend and PTSD Councilor

What: Killing child abusers.

Where: Across the country.

When: Past 3 years.

Why: Suicides of 1^st responders affected by child abuse cases, sister’s suicide due to rapist getting off, protecting Janice’s past abuse and other victims.

How: Different M.O.s confuse police.

2. Long term Mystery

Cover Up

· Criminals receiving short sentences for monetary bribes.

· Government refuses to acknowledge that they are not interested in changing laws.

Secrets

· Laura is able to prove that judge took bribes for lesser sentences.

Reveals

· Laura drops banking information for multiple bribes to news media which starts protests to push government for changes to legal system.

Over Time Mysteries

· Children all across the globe are being exploited for power, greed, or money.

· Trafficking, organ harvesting, child soldiers

· Child pornography.

· Religious orders.

Who: Laura Amour – vigilante

What: Crusade against Child Exploitation.

Where: Across the globe.

When: Today

Why: Money, power.

How: trafficking, organ harvesting, pornography, child soldiers.

Withheld: Government is aware but it’s not a priority.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Show Mysteries

Assignment #1

Mr. Robot

Coverup

· Ecorps had covered up a pollution spill that killed a bunch of employees.

· Elliot is part of the hacker group fnation.

Mysteries

· Can Elliot avoid Giddeon’s suspicions?

· What’s Wellick up to and will he pay for killing boss’s wife?

· What’s happening to Elliot?

· Will White Rose help the hackers and at what cost?

Reveal:

· Darlene is Elliot’s daughter.

· Mr. Robot is Elliot’s father.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden — Showing Empathy/Distress

Assignment 1

Mr. Robot

· Undeserved misfortune

o Elliot was abused by his mother.

o He lost his father.

o Suffers from Mental Health Issues.

o Extremely Lonely.

· External Character conflicts

o Loss of Shayla.

· Plot intruding on life

o Elliot’s plans to take down ECorps.

· Moral Dilemmas

o Drug addiction.

o Hacking although illegal will stop ECorps from hurting others.

· Forced decisions they’d never make.

o Mr. Robot pushes Elliot to continue with plan to hurt ECorps.

Assignment 2

· Undeserved misfortune

o Janice molested as a child.

o Laura’s sister committing suicide because of date rape.

o Children and families affected by child abusers.

· External Character conflicts

o Laura deals with First Responder suicides due to child sex crimes.

o Laura’s decision to start a crusade affects her best friend, Janice.

· Plot intruding on life

o Janice is busy chasing St. Chris’ killer but is assigned to Task Force by superiors.

o Laura needs to escape country, but Janice is captured by Gilmour.

· Moral Dilemmas

o Janice decides to take the law into her own hands and kill child abusers.

o Will Janice follow the rule of the law or turn a blind eye to Laura’s escape?

o Will Forbes follow the Minister’s order to kill Laura.

· Forced decisions they’d never make

o Janice knows Laura is the killer, but tries to convince her to turn herself in before she is killed by police.

o Laura has beaten Gilmour in a drag-down fight and knows the man will never stop trying to get to her, especially through Janice. She lets him live, only for Janice’s sake.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden World and Characters

What have I learned from this assignment?

That all the main characters require their own M.I.S so they are more than just 2 dimensional characters and they are more interesting so that the audience is consumed to find out more and answers the questions it raises.

Concept

A mother and daughter show up at a man’s cottage pleading for help. They are being chased by a deranged cult leader and his followers.

Big M.I. S.

· Big Mystery: Why does the cult want the child back, badly enough to kill?

· Big Intrigue: Can our hero trust the woman and her daughter? What are they not telling him?

· Big Suspense: Will the cult kill the hero and those he is protecting?

Intriguing World

The mysterious and terrifying world of cults and the powers they hold over people.

Hero – Michael Healy

Mystery: How can he protect these females

Intrigue: He has incredible survival skills for a businessman.

Suspense: Will he be killed trying to protect these women?

Red Herring – Cult Leader

Mystery: Why does he want the daughter to point of killing anyone involved

Intrigue: Has special powers that he uses to track daughter. Talks to some unseen entity.

Suspense: Will he use his daughter as a sacrifice to Satan?

Villian: Mother and Daughter

Mystery: What makes them so important that the cult will do anything to get them back?

Intrigue: She is obviously not telling everything she knows.

Suspense: Will the cult leader capture her and her daughter?

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden, Big M.I.S

Lesson 2 Assignment

What I have leaned doing this assignment is action alone is not enough to suck in the audience. The M.I.S. added elements that the audience needs to find out!

Conventions

· Unwitting but resourceful Hero: 30 something, professional at family cottage, for a break.

· Dangerous Villain: Cult leader and his men.

· High Stakes: the lives of a mother and daughter.

· Life and Death situations: Cult will do anything to get daughter back, include killing.

· The story is thrilling because?: Why do they want the girl? Will they kill the hero? How do they get away?

Big M.I. S.

· Big Mystery: Why does the cult want the child back, badly enough to kill?

· Big Intrigue: Can our hero trust the woman and her daughter? What are they not telling him?

· Big Suspense: Will the cult kill the hero and those he is protecting?

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Show relationship map

What did I learn?

I learned the differnt layers of relationship and this allows to manipulate the story to create conflict and drama.

Lesson 6 Assignment 2

Gilmour & Laura

Surface: Gilmour wants revenge on Laura.

Common: Sex crimes.

Conflict: Both want the other dead.

History: Laura tried to kill Gilmour with fire.

Subtext: Revenge for fire vs revenge for Janice.

Relation Arc: Ultimate evil that Laura must confront.

Gilmour and Janice

Surface: He uses Janice to bait Laura.

Common: Both want Laura for different reasons.

Conflict: He hate Laura who is her best friend.

History: Janice used him as bait to catch Laura.

Subtext: Janice is now bait to get Laura.

Relation Arc: None – she is only a way to Laura.

Gilmour and Christy

Surface: The 14-yr-old daughter he abused.

Common: He took what he wanted – didn’t care.

Conflict: none – he’s done with her.

History: Raped his daughter.

Subtext: He want to rape Laura before killing her.

Relation Arc: Hasn’t seen her since prison.

Janice and Kilgour

Surface: Co-workers

Common: Cops assigned to Task Force

Conflict: He is seasoned enough to know that the law is not
perfect. She’s idealistic.

History: Kilgour -homicide, Janice
– sex crimes.

Subtext: Kilgour understands that Janice is worried that she
might have to kill Laura. He also see that Janice is being set up as the scapegoat.

Relation Arc: Kilgour stands up to politicians to help Janice and
himself.

[David Wickenden]

Lesson 6, Assignment 1

Mr. Robot Relationship Map 1

Elliot and Mr. Robot

Surface: Both seem to want the same thing.

Common: Hatred of ECorps

Conflict: Methodology – Elliot doesn’t want to hurt innocents. Mr. Robot is okay with collateral damage.

History: Mr. Robot has been planning an attack on Ecorps, Elliot only dreaming about it.

Subtext: Father figure to Elliot.

Relationship arc: Mr. Robot pushes him to take charge.

Elliot and Portia

Surface: Elliot’s best friend

Common: Both lost parents to ECorps.

Conflict: Portia wants to take down ECorps legally.

History: Best friends due to common loss.

Subtext: Elliot loves Portia

Relationship arc: Elliot protects Portia from threats and supports her.

Elliot and Shayla

Surface: Drug supplier/girlfriend

Common: Both are lonely.

Conflict: His need of drugs puts her in danger with Fernando.

History: She has been supplying drugs to deal with his anxiety.

Subtext: Both are abused and hurting.

Relationship arc: His feelings for her cause him to risk everything.

[David Wickenden]

Convention of Thrillers Assignment 1

What did I learn from this lesson

I learned the absolutely necessary elements required for the thriller genre and how they ramp up the intrigue and suspense.

1 Movie: The Foreigner – Starring Jackie Chan, and Pierce Brosnan

2 Conventions

A. Unwitting but resourceful Hero – Ngoc Minh Quan tries to find a terrorist bomber that has killed his daughter. He is an older, successful business owner who loves his daughter and is a rule follower.

B. Dangerous Villain – Liam Hennessy, deputy First Minister and former IRA terrorist is playing a deadly game to influence his political support.

C. High Stakes – if the terrorists have their way, the British Army will once again hold sway of Ireland, causing the war to continue.

D. Life and death situations – Quan exposes himself against high odds to create fear in Hennessy, trying to get him to give up the names of the bombers. He puts himself at risk each time. He is at further risk, when Hennessy brings in a professional tracker.

E. The moving is thrilling because? As he exposes unbelievable skills for a quiet older man, the secret life Quan comes from keeps us riveted. The secret that Hennessy carries is exposed slowly, which keeps the tension building.

3 B.I.M.

· Big Mystery – Who killed Quan’s daughter and why?

· Big Intrigue – How does Quan have the skills to do what he is doing?

· Big Suspense – Will he be successful?

4 What else made this a great thriller?

Multiple plots within the IRA organization.

· Hennesseys; wife’s revenge.

· Plot by right-wing terrorists.

· Nephew’s attraction to Hennessey’s wife.

· Reporter becomes mule for bomb.

[David Wickenden]

Hello everyone,

My name is David Wickenden. I am a Canadian author and have published six novels. Five thrillers and one YA Fantasy. I have adapted five of my stories into feature scripts. I am a lifelong learner and can’t wait to dive into this process. I hope to elevate my craft.

I am a former professional firefighter and retired as Deputy Fire Chief after 31 years on the job. I used to save people in my past profession. Now, as an author, I kill them. LOL.

Look forward to working with you all.

David

[David Wickenden]

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I, David Wickenden, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[David Wickenden]

Lesson #5 Assignments

David Wickenden – Character Emotions

What I have learned doing this assignment is: by having deep emotional responses, it allows us to manipulate our characters in a way to indicate there are deep-lying reasons that force the character to react under certain situations.

Assignment #1

Mr. Robot

Elliot

A. Situational: Hope Take down ECorps / Fear: Being alone
B. Motivation: Want: Acceptance in a world that doesn’t understand him / Need: Justice for his father’s death
C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion: Fear and loneliness / Public Mask: anti-social, but fantastic computer technician
D. Weaknesses: drugs, social anxiety disorder, depression

E. Triggers: bullies, people hurting his friends
F. Coping Mechanism: drugs

Tyrell

A. Situational: Hope: To be CEO / Fear: failure
B. Motivation: Want: Power / Need: Control
C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion: Rage and Ego / Public Mask: calm, professional
D. Weaknesses: lack of patience
E. Triggers: failure
F. Coping Mechanism: hurts others

Assignment #2

Laura Amour

A. Situational: Hope: To stop child abuse/ Fear: Arrested or killed
B. Motivation: Want: Bring attention to the problem / Need: True Justice
C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion: Rage / Public Mask: Cool professional
D. Weaknesses: Need to be in control
E. Triggers: innocents being harmed
F. Coping Mechanism: kill wrong doers

Janice Williams

A. Situational: Hope: To stop child abuse / Fear: failure, her past abuser’s return
B. Motivation: Want: Justice / Need: Control
C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion: fear and rage / Public Mask: hard-working professional
D. Weaknesses: her past, obsession
E. Triggers: injustice, children being harmed.
F. Coping Mechanism: drive herself harder – longer hours – no personal life

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Intriguing Layers

Lesson 4 Layers of Character Intrigue Assignments

What I have learned doing this assignment is: the more interesting and in-depth a character is, the more it will cause the audience to become fixated on their journey.

Assignment 1

Mr. Robot

1. List of previous character intrigue from previous episodes.

· Role – computer engineer working with computer security business who contacts out to E Corp.

· Hidden Agenda – by night a vigilante that uses his computer hacking skills to hurt evil people.

· Competition – Tyrell from ECorp

· Conspiracy – Evil Corp controls people through debt and business with no regard to safety. Elliot works with fsociety to take down ECorp.

· Secrets – hacker, morphine, love of Angela

· Wound–abused as a child, death of his father, social anxiety disorder.

· Secret Identity–Hacker name–Sam Sepiol. Alternative personalities.

2. Next episode and how character intrigue create the need to watch more.

· Elliot figures out how to take down ECorp but time is limited.

· He is going through withdrawals, and this creates a major conflict with the team.

· Angela is on her own journey after finding out about Ollie’s sexual obsession. We need to see her journey.

· Darlene plans on meeting with notorious Chinese hackers even though they are a threat to her and everyone else as they have their own agenda.

Assignment 2

Laura

· Name: Laura Amour

· Role: PTSD councillor/vigilante

· Hidden agendas–Attacking child abusers who have skirted the law or whose crimes are notorious.

· Competition—the police who investigate these crimes.

· Conspiracies—government decides that due to public support of vigilante, Laura must die rather than go on trial.

· Secrets—that she is the vigilante and has been using her job to mask her movements.

· Deception—she betrays her best friend’s trust by secretly stealing police investigation information on child abusers.

· Wound—Her sister committed suicide due to date rape, many of her clients have committed suicide because of seeing children being harmed, watched as Janice has suffered because of her own abuse which still affects her.

· Secret Identity—vigilante

Janice

· Name: Janice Williams.

· Role: Head of RCMP Sex Crime division.

· Hidden agendas–Keeping her past secret so she continue investigating pedophiles.

· Competition—investigating child abusers only to have vigilante kill them before she can arrest them.

· Conspiracies—When things go south, government wants to use her as a scapegoat.

· Secrets—abused as a child and still suffers from the trauma.

· Deception—she betrays her best friend’s trust by secretly stealing police investigation information on child abusers.

· Wound—Having been molested for months by an abuser that was never caught. Still affects her and if the force finds out how much she is affected, she might find herself sidelined. This is also what drives her to investigate criminals now that she has the power of the law.

· Secret Identity—None

[David Wickenden]

Subject Line: David Wickenden Engaging Main Characters

Lesson 3

What I learned from this assignment: I learned that the deeper, more complex characters make the more interesting characters. We want to see their weaknesses and their strengths and how they overcome those traits that hold them back.

Assignment 1

Show: Mr. Robot

Main Character: Elliot

A. Role in the show: MC is a computer security technician during the day and a brilliant computer hacker at night. His role plays the pivotal role in destroying a mega corporation that had a part in killing his father.

B. Unique Purpose/Expertise: Elliot is a brilliant hacker who has never been caught. There is no one he cannot reach.

C. Intrigue: No one knows of Elliot’s secret life as a hacker, except Mr. Robot, another hacker. His best friend, boss, and arch rival are watching him, but have no idea of what he does behind the scenes. Other intrigue flows around those he targets for hurting others, such as Ollie’s infidelity to his best friend, Angela. The main intrigue deals with the plan to destroy Evil Corp.

D. Moral Issue: Elliot crosses the line more than once. He targets drug dealers and dishonest people and has no problem destroying their lives if needs too. One of Mr. Robot’s plans may cost innocent lives and Elliot balks at this.

E. Unpredictable: Each way Elliot deal with his enemies is different and causes a surprise. His recent decision to live the normal life is a big surprise and the fact that he asked Shayla, his drug supplier out as a girlfriend is even bigger for this anti-social individual.

F. Empathetic: Elliot is an introvert suffering from depression, and social anxiety disorder. Although brilliant, he cannot relate to people is incredibly lonely.

Assignment 2

In my story, Laura is a phycologist who specializes in PTSD. She works with military, police, EMS, Fire and other agencies to help first responders deal with the trauma they encounter. After seeing how sexual assault of children continues to hurt her best friend and other victims, and encounters PTSD suicides of first responders dealing with the same issue, she takes the law in her own hands.

If the government and the legal system will not deal with these preparators, she will. She goes from helping people to killing people.

The show has two main characters.

Laura is the PTSD councillor who turns into a vigilante determined to stop the worse sex offenders when the legal system doesn’t.

Janice is Laura’s best friend. Having been molested as a child, she still suffers from her trauma. She has become a police officer, bent on making those who harm children pay for their crimes through the law. When the vigilante strikes, she is tasks on finding and stopping the killings.

Laura

A. Role in the show: Laura starts a crusade to punish the worse child abusers who have escaped real justice because of loopholes in the law.

B. Unique Purpose/Expertise: To better treat those suffering from PTSD, she has trained with first responders and has learned tactic skills that help her hunt and kill child abusers.

C. Intrigue: Every time Laura strikes, there is a chance of her being caught or killed by either the criminals she hunts or the police who are hunting her.

D. Moral Issue: Laura is killing people. She has become judge, jury, and executioner. She has also lied to her best friend.

E. Unpredictable: Laura doesn’t just hunt one person but criss-crosses the country killing offenders. She does it in different manners so not to create a MO that the police can track.

F. Empathetic: She has seen too many victims of child abuse, both the victims and their families, as well as those first responders who have taken their lives because of what they had to deal with. She has had to give up her entire life and practice to try to bring attention to this issue. She has had to give up Janice.

Janice

A. Role in the show: Janice has been tasked with hunting down and stopping the vigilante.

B. Unique Purpose/Expertise: Highly trained and because of her past, highly motivated. Janice has risen through the ranks to run the sexual crimes department.

C. Intrigue: Janice is involved with a number of cases, but she determines that someone has been killing her suspects just before she’s ready to apprehend them.

D. Moral issue: Janice has been assaulted as a child. She uses her position to chase child abusers. She stands fully with the law and does not cut corners.

E. Unpredictable: Clues unearth all kinds of revelations. He can be hard as nails yet can feel deeply for victims as well as families.

F. Empathetic: Janice still suffers from her childhood trauma. She can’t enter her own apartment without searching for assailants. Suffers from nightmares of her assault. So dedicated to seeing the guilty punished, that she has no life, nor relationship other than Laura.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  David Wickenden.

[David Wickenden]

David Wickenden Three Circles of Characters

Lesson 2 Assignment 1

What did I learn from this lesson:

I learned the different circles as in relation to the main characters of the story. The role they play on the MC journey.

Series: Mr. Robot

Main Characters Circle:

Elliot (MC)

Mr. Robot–Christian Slater–Genius that wants to take down Evil Corporation.

Angela is Elliot’s only real friend.

Connected Circle:

Tyrell is the protagonist.

Shayla–source of Elliot’s drugs

Gideon–Elliot’s boss

Angela’s boyfriend–Ollie who Elliot cannot stand.

Krista–Elliot’s phycologist

Environmental Circle:

Men in black

Lawyers

Other computer operators

Assignment 2

My story:

Main Character Circle:

Laura–PTSD councillor turned vigilante and Janice’s best friend.

Janice–RCMP Sex Crimes and best friends with Laura.

Connected Circle:

Rob–Janice’s partner.

Kilgour–RCMP homicide detective assigned to the task force.

Forbes–Master spy and director of CISIS assigned to the task force.

Lucy Trudeau–First Nations Elder–Helps Laura on reserve and sees through Laura.

Grismore–child abuser, who goes after Laura for payback.

Environmental: Other cops.

Most of the child abusers.

Native on both reserves.

Press members.

Hyndman–Minister’s Aid.

[David Wickenden]

Assignment #1

What I learned doing this assignment is…?

– I learned how to identify the 5 Star Points and to understand what pulls the audience into the pilot.

Mr. Robot

Big Picture Hooks
Computer Hacker takes on shadow world government.

Amazing and Intriguing
Character
He is a computer hacker extraordinaire and highly intelligent.

Empathy / Distress
He is socially inept.

Layers / Open Loops
Who’s after him? What secret society? Can he beat them? Or is he delusional
and this is not real?

Inviting Obsession
David & Goliath story. Will the little guy win against overwhelming odds?

2nd round

We recognize ourselves in Elliot. Debt slavery is real. A small percentage of the population have all the money and the rest of us work for them. We would all love the idea of seeing a corporation fall if the rest of us became debt free. Like the banking crisis in the States, they paid out the banks who caused the crisis rather than the homeowners. So, we are rooting for Elliot.

[David Wickenden]

Hello everyone,

My name is David Wickenden. I am a Canadian author and have published six novels. Five thrillers and one YA Fantasy. I have adapted five of my stories into feature scripts. I do have a series that I feel might be suited to a binge worthy TV series; at least my readers tell me that. I am a lifelong learner and can’t wait to dive into this process.

I am a former professional firefighter and retired as Deputy Fire Chief after 31 years on the job. I used to save people in my past profession. Now, as an author, I kill them. LOL.

Look forward to working with you all.

David

[David Wickenden]

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I, David Wickenden, agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[David Wickenden]

For sure. wickendendave@gmail.com
Once you send over your outline, I’ll have your email and will send mine.
Look forward to reading your premise.
David

[David Wickenden]

Hi Deb. Hope you had a great summer.

[David Wickenden]

Hi David

Are you interested in exchanging pilots for feedback?

My pilot is titled, Defending Innocence and deals with a vigilante hunting child abusers. NOTE: There are no sexual scenes in the story. My email is wickendendave@gmail.com.

Look forward to reviewing yours.

David

[David Wickenden]

Hi Bob,

sent my script to the new address. I have not heard from you as of today, Sunday.

[David Wickenden]

Having trouble sending an email to you. Try sending me a message, Robert.

wickendendave@gmail.com.

I did promise to do a fast review of Deb’s script as she has events planned, but will defintley go through yours right after. What do you want from me? Just the script or a full edit?

Let me know. I would ask you to send me a pdf for fast read on my tablet, and in Final Draft for editing.

I can send you the same for my script.

Dave

[David Wickenden]

Just sent you an email, Deb. Let me know what format to send you.

David

[David Wickenden]

Okay Bob, Like Deb, I think you need to concentrate more on Fran’s mental state. Having her ram things into the car. Not fitting, her losing it causing the child to lose it should do it. When you upset, the little things set you off. Just her packing by herself tells us she is one her own.

I don’t know if the envelope has anything to do with the main story, but we’ve all seen or heard about breakups. Make it as difficult as you can.

[David Wickenden]

Love the idea of a grandmother in her underwear making a smoothie, no matter what she looked like. (I had to look up who the character you mentioned was) The animated part was a bit confusing at first, but then seeing that it’s being viewed on a phone explained it well enough. You put a ton of work into this assignment and it shows Deb.

[David Wickenden]

Well, you got my attention, David. Looks like a fun ride ahead.

[David Wickenden]

Sounds like an exciting premise, Bob. I could almost see the race as I read it and this is just the outline. The dispute between Fran and her father seems dead on. We’ve all encountered people like her father. Great job.

[David Wickenden]

Thanks Deb. Freddy does kill the Queen. Adam was trying to force the Queen and her army to return to their own heaven without bloodshed, but Freddy steals that away. Trust me, it makes sense in the story.

[David Wickenden]

Hi Deb

Like you I was unable to find much to improve. I know you did the work as I too read through the script numerous times to ensure I hit all the rules.

The series of stories is a complex, yet interesting structure. I would really be interested in seeing it.

[David Wickenden]

Good job Deb. My only suggestion is for the last one, only because the bake a cake thing might be seen as a cliche. If Victor is the party guy and would have some pickup lines, he might say, I must have done something amazing in my past life.

[David Wickenden]

I was trying to get the feeling of “Toto, I don’t think we’re in Kanzas any more” without quoting that line. It’s been overdone in my oppinion.

[David Wickenden]

I really like that “take no prisoners” attitude. I think it fits with competitive people.

[David Wickenden]

Hey Deb. The scene is definitely lightened up. One suggestion would be that if you mentioned Abby and Delia either are dressed in comfort rather than for a visit to an art galley. This way their appearance could be mistaken as workers (Gym pants and t-shirt) or have them enter through a worker’s entrance for the same reason.

Hope it helps.

[David Wickenden]

I would have to agree with Deb about Colette’s signs of pain. It doesn’e have to be much, but should continue through the scene.

[David Wickenden]

Having had to deal with parents on both sides with dementia, I know how difficult it can be. You do a good job expressing it in this scene. The confusion you show in Allens expression and words realy stand out.

Suggestions if you are interested, you might want to put his shoes in the fridge. We found my grandmother’s in the fridge. It became a clear first sign that something was wrong. That and she forgot to smoke. My father would buy her a carton of smokes each week and we found that she had plenty left after a week. These little things might touch base with your viewers as they are similar to what other families have expressed.

[David Wickenden]

Hi Dave

Just finished the ISA’s Pitching class, and they said that for the 90 second and 15 minute pitch, you only require digital bibles. With any longer meetings and when trying to get financial people, the printed bible or deck is used.

[David Wickenden]

Hi Carl,

send me your email via wickendendave@gmail.com

[David Wickenden]

Hi ND Kates.

If you require a partner for feedback, let me know wickendendave@gmail.com

Dave

[David Wickenden]

Hi Patricia,

Just cut and past the agreement into the reply and add you name where it says “I”. Hit post and you’re done.

[David Wickenden]

wickendendave@gmail.com

[David Wickenden]

Hi Norene,

I have gone over your submission and can send you a word document with track changes and notes. Please send me you email. Mine is listed above in my original post.

David

[David Wickenden]

Hi Veleka, I do love historical stories. I’m a huge fan of Bernard Cornwell, Alexander Kent and Patrict O’Brian. I would love to partner up if you enjoy a thrilling adventure in Heaven in my story, For Heaven’s Sake. My email is wickendendave@gmail.com if interested.