[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s Character Journeys

What I Learned doing this assignment – that the monster and horror took first position but the connection character connections still needs to be there. I realized that I had some characters that are secondary and haven’t been put in the story outline yet.

Character Profile – The Groom – TOM

1. Role: The Leader
2. Traits: Controlling, smart but emotionally weak
3. Fears: being humiliated through work, at the altar, by all the doctors/professors looking down on him
4. Wants/Needs: respect/acclaim, to be in control
5. Likability/Rooting factors: he stood by the bride when she had cancer, he is smart
6. How they react under stress: He lashes out – can’t control himself
7. Relationship with other characters: controls the bride, has business relationship with Bride’s friend Maggie, is jealous of the Bride’s protective friend Gary, likes the curmudgeonly guy, Dale

TOM – Character Journey:

1. Tom – CJ – Character Intro: wants to control everything/he planned the trip/not participating in the group
2. Tom – CJ – Denial: he can’t believe he’s not perfect
3. Tom – CJ – Their reaction to the first horror: oblivious/denies what Annise sees-feels
4. Tom – CJ – Relation to the group after the first horror: forcing them to deny that it is more than coincidence
5. Tom – CJ – How they fight back: He always has his hackles up
6. Tom – CJ – End Point: keeps going to the end and willing to kill his love than accept rejection
7. Tom – CJ – What insights do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? Right before his death he realizes that his control mechanism has a function that is killing him/he loses

Character Profile – The Bride – Annise

1. Role: The Innocent – Survivor
2. Traits: faithful, concerned for others even though she’s the one who had cancer
3. Fears: for her friends, her health, her groom
4. Wants/Needs: she wants life to be under control, calm, able to be anticipated and relied on
5. Likability/Rooting factors: She is put upon, we fear for her relationship with the groom, we want her to continue her health journey
6. How they react under stress: She’s often confused and slow to react but learns to test the fight in herself
7. Relationship with other characters: She trusts her friends Maggie, Susan, and the Groom, she likes Gary but the timing has never worked out, she respects Dale and sees him as funny

Annise – Character Journey:

1. Annise – CJ – Character Intro: She’s part of the group that everyone wants to help or be close to/she’s a bit delicate
2. Annise – CJ – Denial: She doesn’t trust what she’s seeing or experiencing
3. Annise – CJ – Their reaction to the first horror: actively shuts down the belief it is real
4. Annise – CJ – Relation to the group after the first horror: she’s scared but puts on a brave face for them and doesn’t tell them as it could kill the party buzz
5. Annise – CJ – How they fight back: she has to learn to fight back – belief/research/feign non-belief/run away/fights back/controls/accepts in order to save her life
6. Annise – CJ – End Point: she bonds with the monsters tools will a plan for a better result
7. Annise – CJ – What insights do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? She survived cancer so she didn’t think anything could be more challenging but this required more than a positive attitude and following a doctor’s protocol

Character Profile – The Bride’s Friend – Maggie

1. Role: Rescuer
2. Traits: Faithful friend, driven medical researcher to cure cancer, might have blinders on at times
3. Fears: fears for her friend and her research
4. Wants/Needs: She wants to be successful in an altruistic way to cure cancer
5. Likability/Rooting factors: She is a good friend, intelligent, maybe so focused that she is naive at times and we hope for her safety
6. How they react under stress: She just buckles down and gets down to work
7. Relationship with other characters: Loves Annise and Dale, has a professional respect for Gary, thinks she has a good relationship with Tom as has tried to include him for Annises’s sake

Maggie – Character Journey:

1. Maggie – CJ – Character Intro: Life of the party/everyone has to know she’s a social kingpin
2. Maggie – CJ – Denial: she comforts friend and takes in the details just in case there is something real
3. Maggie – CJ – Their reaction to the first horror: when she actually connects the dots she tries to warn Annise
4. Maggie – CJ – Relation to the group after the first horror: she’s dead
5. Maggie – CJ – How they fight back: she murmurs a clue with her dying breath
6. Maggie – CJ – End Point: relays important info and dies under the monster’s control
7. Maggie – CJ – What insights do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? At the very end of the movie she is proven smarter than the villain groom because her tech has a backdoor that attacks him

Character Profile – The supportive guy – Gary

1. Role: Moral One
2. Traits: He really is in love with Annise but hasn’t had a chance, despite this he is very protective of her and how she deserves to be treated
3. Fears: that something will harm Annise, that things don’t go as they should
4. Wants/Needs: wants everyone to be treated well, wants to resolutions
5. Likability/Rooting factors: he’s Annise’s protector, he stands up to Tom, he is intelligent and caring doctor
6. How they react under stress: he becomes selfless shield trying to protect others
7. Relationship with other characters: loves Annise, respects Maggie, suspicious/jealous of Tom, feels sorry for Dale, his date Susan is someone he like but the relationship lacks passion

Gary – Character Journey:

1. Gary – CJ – Character Intro: When he comes to Annise’s aide/asserts his superior role as a doctor
2. Gary – CJ – Denial: that Annise could really prefer a jerk like Tom
3. Gary – CJ – Their reaction to the first horror: when he fights Tom he feels supernatural strength but it just confuses him since he’s never been a physical fighter
4. Gary – CJ – Relation to the group after the first horror: it’s too late, he’s died
5. Gary – CJ – How they fight back: His death looks like natural causes but it gives Maggie a clue to follow and a caution for Annise
6. Gary – CJ – End Point: Early on because unknowing that there is a killer, he challenged that killer
7. Gary – CJ – What insights do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? Whatever your credentials or intentions the killer can strike – the killer is in control until you can confront them

Character Profile – The frustrated failure – Dale

1. Role: Red Herring
2. Traits: curmudgeonly from failure and being overlooked for his work, however he has a droll sense of humor or a good drunk to help him through, because of his sullen attitude and lack of success he looks like a likely villain
3. Fears: that he could actually sink lower and be forgotten
4. Wants/Needs: he would like a win but is unsure if he will get another opportunity or will be able to succeed if he does
5. Likability/Rooting factors: we feel a bit sorry for him but appreciate his humor
6. How they react under stress: he drinks and avoids
7. Relationship with other characters: he loves and respects Maggie and Annise because of Maggie, The rest he endures or ignores

Dale – Character Journey:

1. Dale – CJ – Character Intro: Maggie’s sidekick with snide humor to her optimism
2. Dale – CJ – Denial: Sure there could e a killer but life kills us all and jobs are a contributing factor, let’s drink
3. Dale – CJ – Their reaction to the first horror: He knows something’s wrong but without a direct link he’s helpless to fight it
4. Dale – CJ – Relation to the group after the first horror: he helps save Susan’s life before he succumbs to the shark attack
5. Dale – CJ – How they fight back: helps other person
6. Dale – CJ – End Point: dies of what looks like a plausible natural situation
7. Dale – CJ – What insights do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? Some things are more immediate, frightening, and lethal than the boogey man

Character Profile – Childhood Friend – Susan

1. Role: Complainer
2. Traits: She and Annise have been friends so long that it is just an old habit, she is bored and points out how everything is wrong and could be improved, tries to be in on the most exciting/new trends
3. Fears: she knows she’s not the most interesting person so she doesn’t want to be left out
4. Wants/Needs: to be included, to come off as smarter/better than she is
5. Likability/Rooting factors: she can be overly glam and out of step no matter how hard she tries makes her more likeable than the slick trendsetter she tries to be
6. How they react under stress: she falls apart in a way that draws all the attention to her
7. Relationship with other characters: she is Annise’s oldest friend, she like that Gary is with her rather than Annise, she doesn’t like Tom but she’s not marrying him, the rest are just part of the group she has

Susan – Character Journey:

1. Susan – CJ – Character Intro: at the airport she is more of an outsider just offering platitudes
2. Susan – CJ – Denial: She’s suspicious of the voodoo but otherwise she’s oblivious
3. Susan – CJ – Their reaction to the first horror: she doesn’t see the link between her inability to breathe and the monster
4. Susan – CJ – Relation to the group after the first horror: too late – she’s dead
5. Susan – CJ – How they fight back: she fights to breathe, needs and gets help
6. Susan – CJ – End Point: plausible health incident not related to monster
7. Susan – CJ – What insights do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? Just another puzzle piece for others to figure out

Character Profile – Voodoo Priestess – Manbo

1. Role: Red Herring – Survivor
2. Traits: She’s all about the money so she pumps the voodoo as her business and knows just enough to be credible to the tourists, the voodoo connection makes her suspicious
3. Fears: real voodoo people but generally they view her as comic
4. Wants/Needs: wants to make the money and be in the know
5. Likability/Rooting factors: she’s more street smart and compassionate than we’d expect
6. How they react under stress: she steps up – to get the details and decide how to play it
7. Relationship with other characters: she plays them all with her fortune telling, Annise stands out because she asked interesting questions

Character Journey:

1. Manbo – CJ – Character Intro: at the Haiti airport she’s welcoming people with cautionary omens
2. Manbo – CJ – Denial: she has seen too much to deny it
3. Manbo – CJ – Their reaction to the first horror: to rescue Annise and help her escape
4. Manbo – CJ – Relation to the group after the first horror: really only Annise and the monster remain
5. Manbo – CJ – How they fight back: run, hide, differentiate between voodoo and real monster
6. Manbo – CJ – End Point: she continues after the monster has been killed
7. Manbo – CJ – What insights do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? She has a healthy skepticism of monsters and believes you can fight

Character Profile – Tattoo Artist – Big Cheddy

1. Role: Rebel/Rule Breaker
2. Traits: He is a jovial businessman and wants to be progressive with the tourist trade
3. Fears: only the competition
4. Wants/Needs: Wants to make a good buck, would be happy to be known for good work
5. Likability/Rooting factors: jovial, puts up with tourists
6. How they react under stress: laughs it off but takes action to protect
7. Relationship with other characters: he gives them all tattoos and glib advice

Character Journey:

1. Big Cheddy – CJ – Character Intro: At the tattoo shop where he is the center of attention
2. Big Cheddy – CJ – Denial: tries to help Annise but if the ink plays into the monster’s game, then he doesn’t want to be complicit so he calls the police
3. Big Cheddy – CJ – Their reaction to the first horror: when physically confronted by the grotesque form of Tom he fights and aides Annise
4. Big Cheddy – CJ – Relation to the group after the first horror: nope, they are dead
5. Big Cheddy – CJ – How they fight back: He has already called the police and he hopes they will show up before he loses the fight
6. Big Cheddy – CJ – End Point: killed at his tattoo shop by his equipment
7. Big Cheddy – CJ – What insights do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? Even what we love can be used against us if a monster it behind it

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s Monster Reveal Track

What I learned in this assignment: I feel a sense of control from creating motivations, powers, constraints for the villain and his tools.

A. Who is your monster and what is their terror? The villain is the groom who has put the nanotech that he controls in himself and others.

• Powers?
o The nanotech control by his computer programming can affect the muscles, organs, and the minds of those inflicted – mammals

• Limitations?
o The nanotech needs to be injected – takes time to take effect – must have the computer to control – people can fight the mind control component because it was never designed to do mind control – the nanotech is stolen AI so it might have underlying programming the villain does not control/does not know about – the nanotech can be recovered and maybe used again but with uncertain outcomes

• Weaknesses?
o Without the computer the villain cannot control – it only affects the people it is inside – the AI underlying programming will trump any other control

• Plan/Purpose/Appetite?
o The villain is a vain, jealous, weak man who thinks he is strong and intelligent. – He is using his limited emotional palette prefect the world for himself. – Because of his insecurities, he is ceding more and more humanness to AI control to create his illusions. – He has made more and more concessions to his original intentions to make his world perfect – the more perfect he makes his world the more the AI seems to find a way to defeat him – the AI wants to fulfill its created original programming and gains understanding to fight what has become its captor.

B. Sequence the reveals.

• Atmosphere of Evil established

Monster Reveal 1: Has a cruel, controlling bent over animals

Monster Reveal 2: Uses others to perform his tasks then kills them

Monster Reveal 3: Monster might need time to convert beings to his purpose

Monster Reveal 4: Has a mechanical/non-human component

• Safety taken away

Monster Reveal 5: Voodoo control seems akin to the monster

• Monster: The nature of the beast

Monster Reveal 6: movement in the muscles, under the skin, added strength is it the monster

Monster Reveal 7: does anger/strong emotion trigger monster-like responses

• One of us killed –

Monster Reveal 8: The monster can replicate a natural biological response

Monster Reveal 9: The monster reacts to its own infections in others for the bride

Monster Reveal 10: The monster is not affected by water/weather/external factors

Monster Reveal 11: The monster can be pre-programmed/on a timer
• Full pursuit by the killer –

Monster Reveal 12: The monster can use the tattoo ink to communicate with the bride

Monster Reveal 13: The monster might have a medical explanation

• Terrorized –

Monster Reveal 14: are the pains when the groom is near a warning or chemical reaction or hallucination

Monster Reveal 15: Is the groom the monster, or being controlled by the monster, what does that mean for her

• Fight to the death

Monster Reveal 16: The monster is the groom who is using the friend’s research that he stole

Monster Reveal 17: The monster is connecting with the bride on a mental level but the groom still needs a computer

• Hysteria –

Monster Reveal 18: using the kill code on the computer caused the nanotech in the groom’s body to act on its own programming

Monster Reveal 19: The nanotech is aware of how humans can control it and how it can control them

Monster Reveal 20: the groom might have controlled the nanotech but freed from his programming its original intent takes over and protects itself

C. Create Demand for each clue/reveal. Basically I tried to hold back each reveal until I needed to move the story or action forward – might need more work.

• This reply was modified 2 months, 3 weeks ago by  Pam Ewing.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s Character Death Track

What I learned from this lesson is that I need more death! I went back an added some random innocent and the other members of the wedding party.

1. Give us the order your characters die in. With each character tell us the why and how.

• Character Death 1: The Man who protects the bride

– Why: The groom is jealous of him. He has genuine affection for the bride which is threatening to the groom.

– How: He is given a tattoo with special ink that allows the groom to “program” his death. The programmed death is made to look like an allergic reaction – a painful one.

• Character Death 2 and 3: the other man and woman in the wedding party

– Why: The man asks too many questions about what the groom is always doing on his computer. For the woman, the murderer is just sadistically experimenting.

– How: The pair decide to go snorkeling where the woman’s breathing is cut off. As the man and the snorkeling escort team try to get her to the surface to breath, the man starts bleeding. His blood attracts a lot of sharks so that the team cannot fight them off. The team is able to get the woman back to the boat and get her to breathe again. But she goes into a seizure and dies.

• Character Death 4: the bride’s best friend – now the killer is identified as the groom

– Why: He’s mad because as a computer tech he felt inferior to a medical researcher but then this woman needed his help to program her miracle medical tech. It could make her millions and be revolutionary but she wasn’t going to give him credit. He was just an unpaid worker. It will be exposed that the groom stole and abused her nanotech research and might be able to expose his theft and misuse of the product.

– How: The friend is shielding the bride so he programs her to not speak to protect his secret and then he uses his increased power to snap her neck

• Character Death 5: the tattoo shop owner

– Why: He is shielding the bride. He was complicit in administering the nanotech in the tattoo ink and might eventually figure out that the doctored ink was the cause the allergic reaction that killed the best friend

– How: The groom tortures the guy first by pinning him in a chair and scraping him with needles/wrapping a cord around his neck and eventually uses the machine motor to electrocute him.

• Character Death 6: random person who tries to stop him

– Why: The person tries to stop him and a derangement has overcome his senses.

– How: TBD – gruesome thoughts in motion!!

• This reply was modified 3 months ago by  Pam Ewing.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s Horror Situation Track

What I learned from this assignment is that I like thinking about it more than actually writing it down! But this is a good approach for a procrastinator like me.

ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR

• Atmosphere of Evil established

Horror Situation: Streetlight flickers at night woman takes out trash in the alley. Dogs fight angrily. She hears a crack nearby.

– Reaction: Startled she trips and falls into muck.

Horror Situation: Rodents stare at her. Boots appear by her.

– Reaction: She yelps and covers her face. But it is a neighbor also taking out trash. Neighbor helps her up. They chat about her wedding trip tomorrow.

Horror Situation: She opens the loaded trash bin and is greeted by a dead animal covered in swarming maggots. It takes a minute for the image to register as she drops bag on it and is splashed with decay.

– Reaction: She runs away screaming and stripping off the gunk. The neighbor laughs and calls after her with comment that will later be ironically significant as a warning.

• Connect with the characters – Disheveled and dazed the woman returns to her apartment as people are leaving dropping intro intel. One of the men, not her fiancé, is protective of her.

Horror Situation: Her fiancé looks on angrily. She sees him as his look flashes demonic.

– Reaction: Terrified she faints into the other man’s arms.

• Denial of Horror – She sleeps fitfully.

Horror Situation: Nightmare as a beautiful, mottled sunset is transformed into swarming maggots and attacking snakes.

– Reaction: She wakes up to see her friend upset on a phone call about missing product for her research. Her friend hangs up and they discuss last night’s fright and dismiss it. They finishing packing for the destination wedding.

• Safety taken away – The tipsy wedding party deplanes in Haiti

Horror Situation: Voodoo omen pops at airport.

– Reaction: Bride hyperventilates but tries to brave it out.

Horror Situation: They all settle into a creepy private resort.

– Reaction: While most laugh it off, she withdraws. The same protective man from the party, looks out for her.

Monster: The nature of the beast

Horror Situation: Groom viciously attacks the man. She sees the groom’s skin ripple and muscles explode.

– Reaction: she screams in horror which halts the fight. Her friend kicks the men out.

Horror Situation: The groom spouts anger indicating an abusive personality.

– Reaction: The bride says the wedding is putting him on edge and her nervous behavior is responsible (red flag response).

ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN

• Isolated / Trapped / Abducted

Horror Situation: Bride steps out of her cabin drinks in the sun when a bag is thrown over her head.

– Reaction: fights until choking on the ground – her friends are kidnapping her to a wedding shower.

Horror Situation: The groom has planned tattoos for all. The groom demands that her tattoo, and only hers, be done in red. Next to the tattoo shop is a voodoo priest who gives each a “reading”/warning/symbol/talisman/tattoo designation

– Reaction: Even surprising herself, the bride tries to find out more about voodoo

• One of us killed –

Horror Situation: while the wedding party is getting tattoos and having their fortunes told, man who was comforting to the bride reacts to the tattoo causing his body to contort and he dies a gruesome death. The bride’s girlfriend becomes worried about the death as it reminds her of her medical research.

– Reaction: the bride clings to the dying man then runs to get the voodoo priest for answers

MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought!

• Full pursuit by the killer –

Horror Situation: The bride tells her friend she wants to postpone the wedding which creates a chain reaction IN her – the tattoo becomes direct communication with an entity IN her writing on her arm. She also finds herself robotically saying that the wedding must proceed. The groom tries to hold her.

– Reaction: Bride runs away. Her friend follows. They walk on the beach. Ironically they find the location of the next day’s wedding.

Horror Situation: The writing on her arm erupts in symbols and messages.

– Reaction: Bride tries to scrape off her skin to stop messages. Her friend tells her it might be related to her medical research.

• Terrorized – The groom finds them and takes the bride away before her friend can tell her more

Horror Situation: the bride’s arm has a visceral reaction to the boyfriend and gives her headaches.

– Reaction: Bride plays compliant then pretends to sleep.

Horror Situation: She sees him physically transform in a nonhuman way as he gives her a caress.

– Reaction: She tries not to react as she pretend to sleep. As he showers, she mumbles to herself and the writing on her arm answers.

ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR

• Fight to the death – The bride runs to her friend.

Horror Situation: Her friend tries to tell her about her research but her mouth contorts – she can’t talk. The friend seems to be fighting herself but tries to choke her/push her over the railing/fights her

– Reaction: the bride gravely injures her friend as she fights back. The friend gives her a message.

Horror Situation: The groom shows up and kills her friend. He is demonically deformed. He explains that this is very innocent, he just wanted to help her over her jitters, so he borrowed nanotech research from her friend.

– Reaction: she turns to her arm asking what she can do?

• Hysteria –

Horror Situation: She discovers that the groom is manipulating the thing in her – he took the nanotech from her friend’s research – he injected her with nanotech – he is reprogramming her/it. They fight but she escapes. He also injected it into himself to control his strength.

– Reaction: It shows her a way to shut off his computer access. Then it says more red ink. She runs to the tattoo shop.

Horror Situation: The groom has morphed. He can’t use the computer to control the tech in him anymore so the process continues to twist him. He takes off after her.

– Reaction: it is a race in which she uses the ink to get more power herself.

• The thrilling escape from death – She breaks into the tattoo shop. The owner appears from the back office.

Horrific Situation: the groom has caught up to her and is also trying to break into the shop.

– Reaction: she tries to explain she needs the red ink or the substance added to it. The tattoo owner calls the cops and tries reason with her.

• Death returns to take one or more –

Horror Situation: The groom breaks in and kills the shop owner.

– Reaction: she finds the red ink and fills an array of needles with it. She slaps the needle array onto her hip/back/butt. The whites of her eyes swirl with ink. She is bonding to the entity to save herself.

– She hides waiting for the ink to give her answers. She tries to talk to the ink, but it is not working.

Horror Situation: The groom stalks her around the shop. He talks about how her so smart friend used him to help her program the nanotech so he helped himself to the tech that only he could control. She is grabbed.

– Reaction: She fights but it is the voodoo priest from next door who pulls her out through a connecting door.

Horror Situation: The voodoo priest and shop are terrifying.

– Reaction: She begs the voodoo priest not to do anything to her. To her surprise the voodoo priest admits being a total fraud to earn a good living off the tourist trade.

Horror Situation: the groom breaks into the voodoo shop. The voodoo priest uses a powder that disorients the groom.

– Reaction: The priest shows her to a back alley and they run away.

• Resolution –

Horror Situation: The voodoo priest falls and can’t move.

– Reaction: she tries to drag the voodoo priest with her but the best they can do is to hide the priest. In parting the priest says there is a word for her – cure.

Horror Situation: She has run to the beach and is stopped by rocks and waves on one side and the approaching groom on the other side. Oddly, it is the photogenic wedding site set up for their sunrise wedding.

– Reaction: She readies herself for a fight. Her arm itches. She scratches and notices that the nanotech is back at work. Her skin swirls with designs.

Horrific Situation: She fights the groom while stealing glances to read her arm.

– Reaction: The ink is not telling her how to fight. It talks about its design to cure ovarian cancer. She kicks the groom in the balls.

Horrific Situation: The police are running toward them on the beach and the groom is morphing painfully.

– Reaction: Waiting for the police she pins him down and asks him what the nanotech programmed for. He says cancer. She says yes – ovarian cancer – specifically designed to work only in XX chromosome – it goes crazy in the pesky Y chromosome is encountered.

Horrific Situation: She looks in the mirror and her eyes swirl with red.

– Reaction: She talks to it. We are stuck with each other for now so behave. She dons sunglasses. The airport PA calls out departing flights.

• This reply was modified 3 months ago by  Pam Ewing.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing’s Horror Plot

What I learned from this assignment is how to pull things from my concept to create progress in the script – not just like Medusa jumps out of a birthday cake, everyone dies, the end.

ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR

• Atmosphere of Evil established – creepy urban environment after an innocent brush with a stranger, a man takes ill and lands on the doorstep of the party

• Connect with the characters – flash cut to bright pre-wedding party. The drunk best man teases about the groom being left at the altar before and the groom indicates that he has taken steps to make sure that will never happen again. The bride stands out as more timid and love-driven than her success-driven friends.

• The characters are warned not to do it – toasts at party reveal double meanings in hindsight that highlight the ways their weaknesses can be used against them

• Denial of Horror – intersection of gory death by medical research doctor, the maid of honor, needing to step in. It is revealed that the medical doctor has been researching nanotech for healing and this would be a perfect use but she can’t find the nanotech – but she tables it until her return

• Safety taken away – squeamish bride tries to shrug the images off but it has taken the bloom from the rose

• Monster: The nature of the beast – post death the dead has lingering effects, we see the groom madly working on his computer/phone – he is slightly different – he looks different somehow

ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN

• Isolated / Trapped / Abducted – next day wedding party heads off a tropical destination wedding pushing horror out of mind

• One of us killed – while getting matching tattoos for the bride and groom the tattoo artist suffers a gruesome death

MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought!

• Full pursuit by the killer – shaken, the bride is ready to postpone the wedding which creates a chain reaction IN her – the tattoo becomes direct communication with an entity IN her writing on her arm and twisting her will then she blacks out awakening to vivid gruesome re-imagining of what is happening around her

• Terrorized – The groom and wedding party try to console her and basically get her to the altar where she is invaded by the horror and tries to hide it – – her maid of honor doctor is able to piece together what is happening but is killed in an unexpected unnatural way by an unseen hand

ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR

• Fight to the death – The bride can’t settle into a honeymoon and the groom becomes demanding then secretive and withdrawn rather than consoling. She turns inward and is accepting of the messaging from IT.

• Hysteria – She discovers that the groom is manipulating the thing in her – he took the nanotech – he injected her with nanotech – he is reprogramming her/it. They fight but she escapes. He also injected it into himself to control his strength.

• The thrilling escape from death – She breaks into the tattoo shop and finds the tattoo ink from her tattoo and loads it into arrays and slams it into herself – instead of writing on her arm, the whites of her eyes swirl with ink. She is bonding to the entity to save herself. The groom pursues using tech thinking he can control her/it.

• Death returns to take one or more – She returns to wrestle computer control from the groom killing him in the process

• Resolution – now she has the controller program and has befriended the tech in herself. She discovers the backdoor to extract/harvest and preserve the nanotech from the groom. Heading home with the remains of the wedding party the whites of her eyes swirl, she dons sunglasses.

• This reply was modified 3 months, 1 week ago by  Pam Ewing.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing’s Characters for Horror

What I learned doing this assignment – that I have double assigned some people!

1. Tell us your Concept and the Group you have chosen.

Nanotech computer scientist inject bride with nanotech particles under the guise of getting matching tattoo while enjoying their honeymoon with vacationing friends at a resort

2. Tell us the Dying Pattern of this movie.

A. Put 6 to 8 characters together and kill them off one by one.

This is the closet pattern as people at the resort and some of the friends will die

3. Give us an Identity and a sentence for each character that makes up your group.

• Leader – The husband, Tom, who engineers situations to use his nanotech but acts like he’s just along for the ride

• Rescuer – Maggie, the bride’s best friend. Maggie starts to see Tom has secured nanotech from Susan’s lab when he promised a no-tech vacation/honeymoon

• Innocent – The bride, Annise “Bingo”, she doesn’t realize that she’s being used and is devoted to Tom

• Out of control / Obnoxious – Maggie’s boyfriend, Dale, a sort of rough acting drunk who is easy to pin her murder on

• Red Herring – Professor Susan engineered the nanotech and consulted with Tom but she doesn’t know that he stole and manipulated it. When nanotech is discovered they think she is behind it be then she becomes a victim

• Love Interest or lovers – Tom and Annise, Maggie and Dale, Trent and Susan

• Complainer – Trent, he really doesn’t like travel, change, or intrigue – he’s a homebody forced to come

• Rebel / Rule Breaker – The tattoo artist, thinks he’s part of a larger experiment, unfortunately he’s a loose end

• The Carrier: The one who brings the horror to the group – Tom

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing’s Terrifying Monster Lesson 2

What I learned doing this assignment is that in making a layered villain I am really twisting him between his better intentions and the truth of his depravity just to avoid painful growth.

1. Tell us what or who your monster is.

I currently see the groom as the monster. He is wounded from previous relationships ad thinks that he can innocently get his girlfriend to not leave him at the altar and remain devoted to him. He quickly sees that he can use her to avenge many of his life issues and not remember anything so not being a robotic puppet.

2. Give us a few sentences for each of the following for your monster:

• Their Terror: He is afraid to be humiliated and rejected in love which causes him to manipulate people to protect himself but his insecurities quickly control him

• Their Mystery: What happened to him and why was he so humiliated by past relationships

• Their Fear Provoking Appearance: he looks great, he seems loving but as the story progresses we see his cruelty colors everything – like we see the picture of Dorian Gray. Later the nanotech he injected in himself as proof of control concept is used against him to change his handsome appearance to demonic features.

• Their Rules: His rules start by protecting himself and preserving the woman he fell in love with. As his fears grow instead of diminishing he keeps justifying new ways to just protect himself. Eventually he worries that his bride will retaliate for what he’s made her do.

• Their Mythology: He uses the computer to control the nanotech he has had injected in her. He also uses twisted psychology to control her when she is not under nanotech control.

[Pam Ewing]

1. Pam Ewing
2. I’ve completed maybe 20 TV scripts/pilots. With screenplays I’ve written many outlines and treatments but maybe only completed a handful.
3. I hope to complete a first draft to see if I have horror bones and blood in me. I think horror speaks to a modern audience that is looking at the complexity of society and wanting to feel control in the release/resolution of terror
4. I seem to be a bungler of opportunities. I think I’m on the autism spectrum and really don’t understand what’s going on until it is too late. I try to tell myself that this is a wonderful detachment trait for a writer. (but maybe not a successful writer)

[Pam Ewing]

I Pam Ewing agree to the terms of this release form as listed below.

GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing’s Horror Conventions Lesson 1

1. What I learned from this assignment –
I was able to remember what I enjoyed about this movie. I recall the confusion of who is the predator flip in other horror movies so it is not resolved until the end. There is justice, bloody, gory, frightening, justice.

2. Ready or Not Horror Conventions:

• Title / Concept: Word play of innocent games and danger

• Terrorize The Characters: On the night of her wedding, the bride is given a death warrant by the virtue of the selection of a child’s game the family traditionally plays; the horrors of being hunted by family that supported her/loved her hours ago – including her husband

• Isolation: She can’t get out of the estate, she does escape the house but is hunted on the grounds at night

• Death: She witnesses a murder that the hunters thought was her and how callously they acted; she kills a woman who tries to reveal her to the hunters; eventually it becomes a kill-or-be-killed situation; if she can survive the night then the family believes that they will die

• Monster/Villain: the family members incentivized by an unseen devil who made them incredibly wealthy and successful in multiple businesses

• High Tension: bride has near scrapes with death; family members turn on each other

• Departure from Reality: bride escapes house but falls into a pit of dead/sacrificed goats, in trying to escape the ladder breaks and she has to use a nail in her hand to help her climb out

• Moral Statement: don’t make a deal with the devil

3. Anything else you'd like to say about what made this movie a great horror film? – It did have some darkly humorous moments. The fact that her loving husband tires to help her but ultimately tries to sacrifice her. When she survives the family is surprised that they don’t die right away. Then one by one they pop like bloody balloons. Her groom is the last alive and he assumes it is because they are meant to be together. She rejects him and he explodes, too.

4. With your concept, fill in each of these Conventions for your story.

• Concept: A computer scientist groom and his bride get matching tattoos but her has doctored her tattoo ink with nanotech

• Terrorize The Characters: She thinks she’s going insane because the tattoo moves, then affects her actions and makes her commit terrible actions that she can’t remember but must deal with the aftermath

• Isolation: She doesn’t know where to turn because her husband laughs it off, her best friend becomes the first victims

• Death: The tattoo threatens her, required more ink to ‘write’ messages to her and on her. She kills the tattoo artist in trying to find answers but she doesn’t learn who doctored her ink. She slams her backside with grouped needles

• Monster/Villain: we see hands on a keyboard that then cause her to react so who is it and what is their goal?

• High Tension: The nanotech ink writes on her, fills her eyes with blackness, she goes from victim to predator to hunted and not remembering what she did

• Departure from Reality: a tattoo with ability to communicate on skin, control actions

• Moral Statement: What is control, who is in control, how to regain control

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s Continues Act 4
Vision: Become a writing Athlete
What I learned: So far not happy with script – but isn’t that motivation for the next draft?

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s Started Act 4
Vision: Become a Writing Athlete
What I learned: Some parts I wrote earlier don’t really help me. Holding off on final judgment.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s Finishing Act 3
Vision: Become a Writing Athlete
What I learned: I keep saying ‘be disciplined; be an athlete’. Still not easy. Celebrate the hard won battle.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s Continuing Act 3
Vision: Become a Writing Athlete
What I learned: Finding time or energy to write seems easier than battling the emotions to write. Even just mechanical writing challenges me!

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s Begin Act 3
Vision: Become a Writing Athlete
What I learned: I took a break to finish a script for a writing group. I learned that finishing faster would have saved me so much time and frustration. After trying to go fast I slogged through and finally submitted my script – ready to take my lumps for errors. The next morning I woke up with clear vision on plot holes and betterments I could implement. Now I am facing the critiques tomorrow and I am considering it a contest to see if they identify as many as I have already found and am ready to implement solutions on. All this is a long way of saying that recalling this experience will be added incentive for me to use to finish fast.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s Plot
What I learned: I have trouble making decisions – I keep seeing things I want to change but am resisting them

Pam’s Plot
What I learned: I have trouble making decisions – I keep seeing things I want to change but am resisting them

Act 1 – 25 to 30 pages — Set up and see Old Ways.
• Opening in lush cartoon – VO child reciting fairy tale story of medieval princess fleeing with a child – VO overbearing mother corrects her in a demanding way – Her Journey facing insecurities
• Inciting Incident – At lunch with her mother Natalie is informed that she must marry and someone has been selected for her.
– Meet Cute – In fleeing the from her mother’s decision, Natalie literally bumps into a man who is negotiating feverously on the phone (MONEY MONEY IS HIS CHARM) They fall together and not only does she make him laugh but she’s wearing his company’s shoes and purse. They have a mutual attraction. WITH HIM SHE CAN LAUGH AT SOME OF HER INSECURITIES. They share a sense of humor. He sees her as a potential wealthy investor. HE HAS DOLLAR SIGNS IN HIS EYES.
– As he escort Natalie away to lunch he sees her mother appear and give him a cold stare that gives him a jolt of fear. FEAR OF MOTHER INFECTS HIM
– Montague of their life together
o Years pass shown as he travels and opens new businesses while she has a new hobby that isn’t very successful
o They each feel more distant – their daily dance avoids each other more and more
• Turning Point – mother who was overprotective dies. Husband tries to have a conversation with Natalie but she pushes him away fearing that he’s going to leave her. Yes – he FLIRTS robotically with her but is more lively with other women and only to get his way. HER INSECURITIES MAKE HER JEALOUS. At the reading of the will Natalie learns she will lose everything if she does not go to the homeland to reclaim her fortune. DENIAL and FULL BLOOM OF INSECURITIES – She also learns that her husband is the man her mother had arranged for her to marry and there were financial incentives attached. HIS SELF-REFLECTION: HE WONDERS IF HE SHOULD NOT HAVE BVEEN HONEST SOONER.

Act 2 – 20 to 30 pages — With Midpoint change, Profound moments that give us new ways.
• New plan – SEPARATION but Forced Together – Natalie travels alone to claim fortune because she is rejecting her husband before he can reject her and she is furious at the secret between him and her now dead but still controlling mother. However, her husband tags along and using his charm keeps coming to her rescue. I.e. Having never travelled she’s in coach and she spies him in first class. She confronts him and the first class stewardess asks him the annoying woman is bothering him. He has transport to the village while she’s offered the back of a dairy truck. Her reservation was cancelled so they have to share a hotel room.
• Plan in action – Natalie meets a handsome and fascinating stranger the night before she goes to the bank to claim her fortune. They sing (cape vs trench coat) and dance outside a restaurant and the magic between them is only spoiled by the arrival of her husband. The next day Natalie goes to the bank but the fortune is just a pile of vintage fairy tale books. Her husband tries to help her get on the trail and they try to work together. She teases him that he just wants a bigger divorce settlement.
• Midpoint Turning Point – Natalie’s pursuit of her fortune lands her in trouble. The mysterious stranger’s servant invites her to dinner with his master that night. She assumes that local thugs are following her to rob her. Servant tries to help her ditch her husband. But it turns dangerous for Natalie and she is pursued. Her husband joins the chase but to save her. She’s fearful and is starting to appreciate husband’s help.

Act 3 – 20 to 30 pages — With Midpoint change, Profound moments that give us new ways.
• Rethink everything – ACCEPTANCE AND GROWTH – Natalie falls into an old forgotten well. Her husband also falls in and lands on top of her. Thinking they may die, they become honest with each other. They find they do care for each other. He makes her laugh causing the pursuers find them but will return tomorrow with tools to get them out.
• New plan – They need to breakout as the pursuers have found them but can’t get them out. Husband thinks there might be a way out of this old well. Natalie realizes this might be the well from the fairytale of her youth. They find the fallen necklace from the fairytale. Natalie puts clues together and she seems to have acquired supernatural strength since coming here. Her hobbies and his travels have equipped them with knowledge on how to address issues.
• Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift – they break through the well halls and land in a cave. Cave and vampire trope abound – swarming bats, stumbling against each other in the dark, stalactites organ sounds, knocking the fungus setting it aglow. They encourage each other by inventing funny cave poems. They find a door and think they are saved.

Act 4 – 25 pages — Test the change in this character! Prove New Ways!
• Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict – But they have entered the castle and taken hostage. fall into the clutches of the villain/mysterious man/vampire overlord and true identities are exposed. He’s put on the rack. She’s dressed up in vintage cottage for a ‘romantic’ dinner. She’s made an offer to keep both of them alive. HI ACCEPTANCE AND GROWTH – HE IS TRULY HONEST WITH WHAT HE LIKES ABOUT HER BUT SHE IS JUST SUPERFICIAL ABOUT WHAT SHE LIKE ABOUT HIM.
o She discovers her true identity – Queen vampire. She can shapeshift and fly. She drops him at the hotel because she has somethings to do.
o Husband uses his true identity to help him escape the rack to help her fight the vampire. HIS JOURNEY REVEALS HIS CHANGE. DEMONSTRATED CHANGE FOR HER – NOT SELFISH. But his true form as a short hairy thing scares her SHE HATES HIM AND HE FEELS BETRAYED and she alerts the vampire to him. Vampire exposes her husband and she is repulsed.
o The vampire takes vampire form to kill her off since she does not accept his offer. The servant pleads for her life until he sees the glint of the necklace she found in the well. The servant reveals that he is in servitude to the vampire to save his descendants in the village so he can’t help her. Then the servant helps the vampire corner her and bite her. She is able to grab a silver steak knife and stab the vampire.
o The vampire bite does not kill Natalie, instead it gives her the powers of the rightful high vampire – her inheritance. But with exposed new identities neither husband or Natalie fly into the other’s arms. She literally drops him off at the hotel and flies off.
• Resolution – She spends the night putting the world right. He makes plans to leave. They meet on the street the next morning as he’s leaving, accepting that at least he was able to help her get her fortune and live without being so shallow. She shares the changes she’s made to the town overnight.
o The servant is now the vampire’s master running a cuckcoo clock shop.
o Husband turns to leave her with her new fortunes and she grabs him to go with him. REUNION. HE IS HONEST AND SELFLESS. (‘someone’s looking like their old self’-‘someone has gotten their feet back on the ground – do you think my shoes would sell well here?’-‘something to think about now that I’m in charge’ -‘so now you have everything you ever wanted.’ He turns to go. She grabs him ‘yes, I do.’ She pulls him into the airport taxi. They laugh together.) SHE’S CONFIDENT. LOVE HAPPENS

[Pam Ewing]

ASSIGNMENT
ASSIGNMENT
Pam’s Her Journey / His Journey
What I learned: I’m how they fit against each other and when these might fit the plot

Her Journey
1. Initial state: Anxious, insecure, trying to find herself/under her mother’s control
2. Meet-Cute moment: she’s running from a suitor and falls – he comes to her aide and she is calm and able to laugh at her phobias
3. Initial challenges: Her insecurities keep pop up as jealousy because he’s so charming, outgoing and handsome
4. Major conflict / Obstacle: Her insecurities cause lack of trust with lack of ability to communicate/she feels there is something missing/she overhears a conversation that seems to prove her worst fears
5. Self-Reflection: She’s trying to do something on her own and questions if she’s been pushing him away because of her insecurities/jealousy/she sinks herself into her hobbies
6. Acceptance and Growth: during her quest to claim her fortune she feels energized and confident/she finds herself wanting to work with him but is still afraid to be totally honest about her feelings
7. Demonstrate the change: in fighting for her fortune she saves his life and faces his true form
8. Reunion: He thinks since she has her inheritance that she’ll stay there because she has everything she said she ever wanted. As he turns to go she grabs him and says she does [have everything] and she has her suitcase

His Journey
1. Initial state: on the make for money/comes off as shallow and self-centered
2. Meet-Cute moment: he rounded a corner and ran into her and felt empowered that he could help her, he could see that she was wealthy, he was able to make her laugh and he loved her laugh
3. Initial challenges: he needs the mother’s blessing but also doesn’t want to be part of the mother’s controlling behavior/he wants to have a deeper relationship be feels he’s cornered
4. Major conflict / Obstacle: He is always working and she feels he’s avoiding her/he has a secret that he fears will cause a larger rift
5. Self-Reflection: he feels he has the wrong priorities and she won’t accept his secret
6. Acceptance and Growth: watching her grow more confident, he feels that he should put the relationship on a more truthful footing by coming clean about his secret
7. Demonstrate the change: he reveals himself and uses his secret to help her win her inheritance/she doesn’t seem to reconnect so he accepts that he might be
8. Reunion: He accepts that he accepted his authentic self and is willing let her go to be her authentic self

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s Continuing Act 2
Vision: Become a Writing Athlete
I want to be a happy to greet the page writer but I am unfortunately facing more blood letting and gritting teeth type – at least at the moment.
What I’ve learned: If I can convince myself to just write for a few minutes, it usually continues and I get more done.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s 7 Stages of Love
What I Learned: Plotting love keynotes is not as easy for me as plotting action
1. Meet-Cute – A fixup by her mother no less! On the way to the lunch she is confronted by various encounters with men. But there are subdued sparks at lunch and an urgency on both sides to move the romance along – all business.
2. Attraction/Flirting – Years later settled into a routine at home prepping for a party share comfortable humor
3. Denial – at party she overhears him seem to indicate that he married for the money. Her mother dies leaving her with no money but a quest to claim the inheritance. She pushes him away before he can dump her.
4. Separation/Forced Together – He follows her anyway. They are on the quest together each claiming it is for the money and each hoping it is for the relationship. She is courted by a handsome stranger.
5. Working through Issues/Differences – On the trail of the money they work the clues together, they are chased, they face danger, they are stuck in a well then a cave and then a castle so forced to confront issues not understanding that a bigger test is just around the corner
6. Hate/Betrayal/All Hope is Lost – in fighting the vampire husband is captured and shrunk, her life is threatened, she has not figured out her power
7. Love Happens – she rescues him and accepts his form, he acknowledges he truly chose her for her with or without her powers or wealth

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing’s Bigger Story
What I learned doing this assignment: the adventure part is lacking – pacing needs work

1. Brainstorm at least 5 ideas for each of these and select the one or combination you like best for your bigger story.
• A. What interesting world could this movie/show be set in?
o Transylvania
o Bottom of dry well
o Cave
o Castle
o Hotel balcony
o Bank safety deposit boxes
• B. What major conflict could be happening?
o Searching deeper for money/family/connection
o Lies that uncover truth
o Song and Dance
o Fairytale trauma and endings
o Can you trust a cuckoo clock to be accurate
• C. What intriguing situation could these characters be engaged in?
o Describing how the cuckoo clock mechanisms work – maybe the city has a fancy public clock that is broken
o She overhears husband to his cousin and misunderstands – later she’ll understand ‘so when you said xxx, you meant YYY’
o Being chased, outwitting pursuers only to be outmaneuvered and caught
o Retrieving fortune from safety deposit box only to discover bank was destroyed but her mother knew that before she moved
o Vampire tropes – some true, some ironic, and some having different meaning

2. Turn that bigger story into a 3-Act or 4-Act structure.
Act 1:
• Opening – fairy tale story of medieval princess fleeing with a child
• Inciting Incident – mother who was overprotective dies
• Turning Point – Natalie has a quest in order to reclaim her fortune or all is lost
Act 2:
• New plan – Natalie travels alone to claim fortune but her husband tags along
• Plan in action – Natalie meets a handsome and fascinating stranger but discovers trail to fortune has a weird turns
• Midpoint Turning Point – Natalie’s pursuit of her fortune lands her in trouble
Act 3:
• Rethink everything – Natalie’s husband joins her and they rekindle their love
• New plan – They need to breakout but it ends up being an adventure through the mess
• Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift – they make it to the castle and think they have found rescue but now they are captured by the villain
Act 4:
• Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict – They fight the villain and true identities are exposed
• Resolution – They gain the fortune but abandon it to the oppressed town and restart their marriage on a deeper, truer level

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing’s Bigger Story
What I learned doing this assignment: the adventure part is lacking – pacing needs work

1. Brainstorm at least 5 ideas for each of these and select the one or combination you like best for your bigger story.
• A. What interesting world could this movie/show be set in?
o Transylvania
o Bottom of dry well
o Cave
o Castle
o Hotel balcony
o Bank safety deposit boxes
• B. What major conflict could be happening?
o Searching deeper for money/family/connection
o Lies that uncover truth
o Song and Dance
o Fairytale trauma and endings
o Can you trust a cuckoo clock to be accurate
• C. What intriguing situation could these characters be engaged in?
o Describing how the cuckoo clock mechanisms work – maybe the city has a fancy public clock that is broken
o She overhears husband to his cousin and misunderstands – later she’ll understand ‘so when you said xxx, you meant YYY’
o Being chased, outwitting pursuers only to be outmaneuvered and caught
o Retrieving fortune from safety deposit box only to discover bank was destroyed but her mother knew that before she moved
o Vampire tropes – some true, some ironic, and some having different meaning

2. Turn that bigger story into a 3-Act or 4-Act structure.
Act 1:
• Opening – fairy tale story of medieval princess fleeing with a child
• Inciting Incident – mother who was overprotective dies
• Turning Point – Natalie has a quest in order to reclaim her fortune or all is lost
Act 2:
• New plan – Natalie travels alone to claim fortune but her husband tags along
• Plan in action – Natalie meets a handsome and fascinating stranger but discovers trail to fortune has a weird turns
• Midpoint Turning Point – Natalie’s pursuit of her fortune lands her in trouble
Act 3:
• Rethink everything – Natalie’s husband joins her and they rekindle their love
• New plan – They need to breakout but it ends up being an adventure through the mess
• Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift – they make it to the castle and think they have found rescue but now they are captured by the villain
Act 4:
• Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict – They fight the villain and true identities are exposed
• Resolution – They gain the fortune but abandon it to the oppressed town and restart their marriage on a deeper, truer level

[Pam Ewing]

ASSIGNMENT:
Pam’s Rom Com, Staking Claim
What I learned: How little I knew my characters, but I was wrong. Now I have a better interlocking handle.

Who is She?
o Natalie Turka (meaning Dark in Romanian) Rafferty (floodtide, abundance)
o Sheltered only child
o Naïve, needs a partner
o Grew up wealthy and generous
o Always trying and abandoning hobbies

Who is He?
o Oran (Irish for little pale green one) Rafferty (Rafe, nickname)
o Not hung up on his good looks
o Works hard at his businesses/investments
o Enjoys wealth in a non-greedy way
What makes them lovable?
Natalie
o Sense of humor
o A tad jealous
o Meek but fierce defender of others
o A low confidence
o Follows the rules yet yearns for power to break them
o Has a yet undiscovered secret identity
Rafe
o Not hung up on his good looks
o Supportive of her
o Outgoing and charming to the point of seeming flirty
o A little out there, crazy
o He knows her secret identity before she does and accepts it
o Has a yet unexposed secret identity
Together
o They share the being-wealthy gene
o They are faithful to each other but mostly because they have other interests
o They unconsciously work as a team

What attracts them to each other?
o Both were in a position they needed to settle down
o She was attracted to his looks and he liked her humor and wealth
o Her mother approved
o They enjoy each other’s company

What needs does each fulfill for the other?
o She feels he gives her some confidence/validity
o He feels she gives him stability/safety
o She feels freedom in his rule breaking though she chides him
o He picks on her generosity and hobbies though he actually approves
o When they learn each other’s secret identities it bonds them even more

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s Begin Act 2
Vision: Become a Writing Athlete
What I’ve learned: I am not working fast enough and maybe more important – I am not writing every day as an athlete would

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s Rom Com, Staking Claim
What I learned: I am retooling a script I couldn’t finish but now I feel like I am laying a better foundation.

Concept:
• Two People Who Belong Together: Although they don’t know each other’s abilities, they know that they never quite fit in
• How Are They Separated: They don’t trust that they other really likes them – and of course how could they when they don’t really know each other
• What Forces Them together: Her mother forced her to get married and he was the winner; he needed the money; she needed the marriage to get the money
• Issues to be Resolved: Was it really only about the money? Is there love? Attraction?
• On Their Journey of Love: When her fortune is threatened after her mother’s death, she tries to get the money by herself because she doesn’t trust him so she sees it as a reason to be alone and wealthy. He tags along and is helpful. She distrusts his motives but finds she needs his help. Together they find their true secrets, attraction, and successful teamwork. They fight for each other and that sacrifice is the final key to find the money.

Conventions:
• Experience of Falling In Love: She thinks he’s cute – but maybe too cute for her. He loves her laugh. She doesn’t think that’s enough for a relationship.
• The Journey of Love: They are married but not in love together. The search for the money pits them against a really powerful bad man, forces them to reveal/discover their true identity and interests.
• Relationship Set-up: They start the movie going through the motions of marriage with a hiccup of hope here and there.
• Issues each must Resolve: Secret attraction is real. Secret identity revealed. Learning new ways to trust each other.
• Separation: She runs away from him to find the fortune. He follows her. She keeps breaking away to get the fortune and he keeps showing up to help. Ultimately she is faced with a choice between husband and powerful bad guy.
• How will Comedy be Expressed: Physical comedy such as she falls into an old dry well and he lands on her (says thanks, she broke his fall). That he always finds a way to win over a pretty woman such as getting first class on the plane when she’s stuck in coach. She has a song and dance with the powerful evil man who tries to woo her. The keeper of the cuckoo clocks takes a liking to her even though he works for the evil guy. The people in the village are always trying to tell her something or direct her and she keeps not understanding or never gets the message.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing
Many scripts, mostly specs for TV.

I want to finish a rom-com I started

I think I am high functioning autistic (not tested, but therapist thinks so). At any rate, I think not fitting in and seeing things in a different way could be advantages if I can get words on the page.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing
I agree to the terms of this release form.
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing’s Finished Act 1
Vision: Become a Writing Athlete
What I’ve learned: It is plodding – the plotting is done. Ha-ha. But it is typing and letting go.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing’s Next Act 1 Scenes
Vision: Become a Writing Athlete
What I’ve learned: Today was just doing it. No inspiration or greatness hit the page. But I’ve believing that will happen later and that I am advancing.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing’s Act 1 First Draft Part 1
Vision: Become a Writing Athlete
What I’ve learned: Per Tyler Perry – “I can do bad all by myself,” so I am on course. I think my Act 1 is too short but I’m not adding until I see how the whole first draft plays out.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing’s High Speed Writing Rules
Vision: Become a Writing Athlete
What I’ve learned: Per Tyler Perry – “I can do bad all by myself” so I am on course.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing’s First Scene
Vision: Become a Writing Athlete
What I’ve learned: I can write a bad scene. The outline is just missing the poor dialogue. Learning the pacing of writing poorly and trying to kick it up a notch.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s Fascinating Scenes
Vision: Become a Writing Athlete
What I’ve learned: I need working AC to get through a Midwest summer

ACT 1
Scene Arc: Starts with success and ends in humiliation and mental breakdown
SCENE 1
INT. BACKSTAGE OF CONFERENCE HALL – DAY
Maia confronts nemesis and walks way overly confident
• Essence: Sets up Maia as successful, intelligent, fearful fighter
• Conflict: Maia is idealistic in verbal sparring with ruthless, practical Nemesis
• Subtext: what is success/a win
• Hope/fear: Hope she succeeds as she seems likeable but fear she’ll lose because she’s too idealistic
o Beginning: Maia is surprised as she is confronted by Nemesis of company she is taking over (Surprise)
o Middle: He insults her but she is calmly in control (Uncomfortable Moment)
o Ending: He departs with a low blow which she tries to shake off (Uncertainty)
SCENE 2
INT. STAGE WING OF CONFERENCE HALL – DAY
Maia is shaken by Nemesis but tries to build herself up while she’s being introduced
• Essence: Maia’s corporate success feels flimsy
• Conflict: Maia is fighting her poor childhood flashbacks
• Subtext: success and failure hold hands
• Hope/fear: we hope she can succeed but fear that her childhood wounds will sink her
o Beginning: Maia gathers her shattered confidence (External Dilemma)
o Middle: She has a flashback that directly contradicts the speaker (Internal Dilemma)
o Ending: Maia screams just as her name is called to the podium (Character Changes radically)

SCENE 3
INT. MORGUE – NIGHT
25 YEARS AGO
In a flashback, Maia is a child cleaning the morgue with her parents
• Essence: introducing Maia’s wound
• Conflict: timid Maia has a real fear
• Subtext: character is facing your fears, even if pushed
• Hope/fear: we hope that nothing bad will happen but we fear something will traumatize her
o Beginning: Dutiful child mopping hospital linoleum floor (Mislead)
o Middle: Her mop hits a wheel and a gurney moves (Suspense)
o Ending: worried the child looks up and a dead face turns to her (Reveal)

SCENE 4
INT. CONFERENCE HALL PODIUM – DAY
Maia’s name is called and she walks onto stage, nods to Ollie in front row, starts to give her speech
• Essence: Sets up Maia’s self congratulating and coping mannerisms, intro her friend, Ollie
• Conflict: Maia is walking as she did as a child in the morgue
• Subtext: personal success is moment by moment
• Hope/fear: Hope she will gather her wits and be a leader; fear she will sink into childhood fears
o Beginning: Maia has returned confident, in control (Suspense)
o Middle: As the applause dies down she begins her speech as a single person clapping enters to stand next to her (Intrigue)
o Ending: Maia turns to see Nemesis apologizing for a change of plan Maia introduces him (Cliffhanger)

SCENE 5
INT. CONFERENCE HALL STAGE – DAY
Nemesis joins a surprised Maia on stage and cuts off her speech to announce his takeover of her
• Essence: Nemesis engineers a way to humiliate her and make himself look strong
• Conflict: Nemesis wins; he invades her body space where his “cologne” causes her to freak and pass out
• Subtext: do we win at any cost
• Hope/fear: we hope that she is able to walk away but fear that Nemesis is the last man standing
o Beginning: Maia questions Nemesis – makes a joke that it was not a friendly takeover (Intrigue)
o Middle: Nemesis explains she had a great idea about the synergy of their companies but just lacked the ruthlessness/vision/cold-bloodedness to pull it off, so he found an angel investor and he has acquired her (Betrayal)
o Ending: while the audience murmurs and yell questions, he sprays Maia with something and she freaks out then passes out (Character changes radically)

SCENE 6
Scene Arc: Maia is locked in a sanitarium room, breaks out, Ollie breaks in, together they escape
INT. SANITARIUM – NIGHT
Maia comes to in restraints being dumped in her locked room
• Essence: we learn that Nemesis has planned this so he must fear her
• Conflict: Maia can’t fight the restraints so she’s resigned
• Subtext: when to accept fate and when to escape
• Hope/fear: We hope she’ll figure a way out but fear she might not
o Beginning: Maia comes to strapped on a gurney being wheeled down a hospital corridor – not exactly the corridor of power she desired (External Dilemma)
o Middle: She pretends to be waking up as she flops all over while the restraints are removed and she is dumped on a bed (Mislead)
o Ending: After the attendants have left she reveals that she has stolen a key (Reveal) and she falls back into a stupor (Cliffhanger)

SCENE 7
INT. SANITARIUM – DAY
Maia awakens and sets about unlocking the door by putting her hand through the food slot
• Essence: Maia is plotting the best time to escape as the howls and laughter of the patients taunt her
• Conflict: Maia’s wound is makes her feel worthless and having trouble fighting
• Subtext: when to accept fate and when to escape
• Hope/fear: We fear Maia can overcome her wound but fear that she cannot escape
o Beginning: Unlocks the door by slipping working the keys through the food slot. She unlocks the door but slips back into the room as she hears footsteps (Intrigue)
o Middle: is startled as her breakfast is slid in the slot just as she plans to open the door – Houdini, indeed (Surprise)
o Ending: She waits until the coast is clear but her door is being unlocked from the outside so she pretends to sleep (Mystery)

SCENE 8
EXT. SANITARIUM – DAY
Ollie has broken into her room with a wheelchair
• Essence: adding horror elements and showing her ingenuity
• Conflict: Maia against the institution
• Subtext: sometimes our wounds land us in a real prison
• Hope/fear: we hope that she can escape but she doesn’t seem up to the task
o Beginning: Ollie enters and frightens her (Surprise)
o Middle: Maia is happy but quickly tells Ollie that she had it under control (Superior position)
o Ending: Ollie gets her into the wheelchair – you were unlocked but without a plan – I was drugged – oh like it was your first time – I’m not the druggie here (Suspense)

SCENE 9
INT. SANITARIUM – DAY
Ollie breaks into the sanitarium room to rescue Maia
• Essence: establish Ollie as loyal, wacky, successful bumbler
• Conflict: Ollie cons staff into finding Maia then finds Maia already out of her room and they bicker
• Subtext: when is help not helpful
• Hope/fear: we hope Ollie can rescue Maia but we fear Maia may blow her cover
o Beginning: Ollie lays out the plan as she drapes a blanket to hide the unused restraints (Suspense)
o Middle: As Ollie wheels Maia out of the room, Maia again plays doped up, they are confronted (Suspense)
o Ending: Ollie spins a great excuse and they make it to the elevator and out the first floor where Ollie trips the alarm – on purpose (Intrigue)

SCENE 10
INT. CAR – DAY
Maia and Ollie make it to the escape car and bicker- Ollie triggers the alarm (You’ll want them to look for you and get the press on your side, especially since I have the perfect hideout)
• Essence: breather to make the spa a reasonable hideout and build their friendship
• Conflict: Ollie insists on driving Maia’s car and using Maia’s credit
• Subtext: why can’t Maia just accept a rescue
• Hope/fear: we hope Ollie’s planned hideout will work but we fear that she messes things up
o Beginning: Maia is mad that their escape is ruined as she runs to Ollie’s car, now they will follow us (Uncertainty)
o Middle: Ollie hides Maia under the mess in her backseat as she explains (Intrigue)
o Ending: Ollie waves to the guard and explains she wants to get home before the drama begins then tells Maia that if she didn’t sound the alarm Maia would come up with her own plan but Ollie has the perfect hideout (Cliffhanger)

ACT 2
Scene 11
Scene Arc: Arrive at spa and Maia has agreed to accept hiding out and healing here
INT. CAR – DAY
Ollie and Maia bicker and discuss major philosophical issues, was Maia’s company really taken over, and Ollie extolls the benefits of the selective spa
• Essence: Establish Ollie, their friendship and key motivations – don’t worry your credit is still good
• Conflict: they bicker like an old married couple
• Subtext: closer than a brother/sister
• Hope/fear: we hope Ollie does have the perfect hideout but we fear that she is a loose cannon
o Beginning: Maia climbs out from the backseat junk into the front checking if the doors are unlocked – not (External Dilemma)
o Middle: Ollie is so cocky about the privacy of the spa and its treatments (Intrigue)
o End: Though Maia protests she tries to endure the ride as she moans about how unfair life can be (Uncomfortable Moment)

SCENE 12
EXT. SPA LOADING DOCK – DAY
At employee entrance Maia meets promising Dr. Jeremy then upsets him while Dr. Kari observes
• Essence: Maia and Dr. Jeremy seem to spark to each other until she upset the research he is unloading and he gets angry and she is grossed out by the gory mess. Subtlety we see Dr. Kari becomes involved even though she seemed to be involved in shipment out marked ‘medical tissue’ or ‘human organ’
• Conflict: Maia and Dr. Jeremy push/pull and Dr. Kari observing
• Subtext: is there love at first sight
• Hope/fear: We hope Maia encounters a positive relationship but we fear Dr. Jeremy is unstable
o Beginning: While Maia is distracted, Ollie selects the employee entrance (Intrigue)
o Middle: There is a lot going on, Maia can now exit the car and approaches handsome, friendly Dr. Jeremy moving his sensitive experiments but Maia thinks he’s there to greet them and flirts by touching his experiment so he is outraged (Character changes radically)
o Ending: Ollie brings the suitcases as Dr. Kari approaches calmly upset but ends up welcoming them (Uncomfortable Moment)

SCENE 13
INT. SPA BEDROOM – DAY
Maia and Ollie settle into their room as Maia views it as a prison
• Essence: grumbling Maia tries to acclimate
• Conflict: Ollie teases about Dr. Jeremy
• Subtext: can I have some privacy please
• Hope/fear: we hope Maia and Ollie are able to put up with each other but we worry Ollie might not be a good friend
o Beginning: Ollie plops into her bed as Maia unpacks and complains about the clothes Ollie brought for her (Uncertainty)
o Middle: Ollie reads their itinerary, orientation tomorrow morning, promise to be polite (Uncertainty)
o Ending: Maia maybe I need a secret identity – YES! (mystery)

SCENE 14
INT. SPA DINING ROOM – DAY
Dr. Kari walks through the welcome details with staff and flirts while showing Dr Jeremy the operation
• Essence: set up Dr. Kari’s sharp condescension to staff and how she first with Dr. Jeremy; We hear about how she cured her cancer and has used the same protocol to help others. Is Dr. Jeremy interested in Dr. Kari.
• Conflict: Dr. Kari’s staff are pleasantly robotic opposite and Dr. Jeremy seems glued to Dr. Kari’s side
• Subtext: the masks we wear
• Hope/fear: we hope Dr. Kari is nicer than she seems but she is in charge
o Beginning: Dr. Kari is warm and welcoming and shares how she cured cancer but is violently angry at a staff member (Character changes radically)
o Middle: Dr. Jeremy seems in awe of Dr. Kari (Mislead)
o Ending: As soon as Dr. Kari’s speech is over Dr. Jeremy flees in search of Maia (Reveal) angering Dr. Kari

SCENE 15
INT. SPA DINING ROOM – NIGHT
Maia and Ollie meets other guests and discuss weird spa treatments then guests eat and party
• Essence: Shows Ollie’s buy in to events, introduces guest that Maia will hang out with, introduce guest who will be Maia’s new friend
• Conflict: one of the guests extolls the mind treatments that improved her attitude and reduced her pain to Maia becomes physically ill
• Subtext: bloom where you are planted
• Hope/fear: We hope Maia will heal and have a good time, we fear something is wrong with spa
o Beginning: A specialized spa with good results despite weird treatments (Uncertainty)
o Middle: The description of the treatments makes Maia physically ill (Mystery)
o Ending: Guest friend comforts Maia saying she’ll come to enjoy the treatments (Suspense)

SCENE 16
INT. SPA BEDROOM – DAY
Ollie is excited about her weird treatment and pushes a hung over Maia to get going
• Essence: building the spa world, Ollie mentioning her mind impregnation treatment
• Conflict: Ollie and Maia have friendly antagonism and based on Ollie’s ditzy behavior we wonder how they are friends
• Subtext: can we be friends with someone so different
• Hope/fear: given how weird the treatments seem we hope they will be helpful/healthful but we fear mind impregnation is fraught with problems
o Beginning: Maia dreads going to treatments and Ollie is totally hyped (Internal Dilemma)
o Middle: Maia pushes herself to try spa and pushes doubts away (Uncomfortable Moment)
o Ending: Maia reviews her treatment agenda ignoring something (Superior Position)

SCENE 17
Scene Arc: Trying to heal at the spa but keep finding things just don’t add up
EXT. HOT TUB – NIGHT
Maia connects with her new friend after her day at the spa then Dr. Jeremy approaches
• Essence: compare spa experiences, learn more about friend, connect with Dr. Jeremy
• Conflict: Dr. Jeremy apologizes but somehow it just sets Maia’s temper flaring
• Subtext: are connections always meant to be pleasant
• Hope/fear: We hope Maia can bond with Dr. Jeremy but fear neither has the temperament for it
o Beginning: Maia discusses treatments in the hot tub with new guest friend (Internal Dilemma)
o Middle: Dr. Jeremy tries to apologize but ticks off Maia (Character Changes Radically)
o Ending: Maia tries to escape Dr. Jeremy who blacks her trying to explain (External Dilemma)

SCENE 18
INT. SPA TREATMENTS MONTAGUE – DAY
Maia hates her weird treatments, Ollie is in bliss
• Essence: shows the twisted gory treatments, contrasts Ollie’s response to Maia’s fears; Maia connects with new friend, Ollie’s mind treatment induces robotic behavior
• Conflict: The spa treatments are gory and challenging
• Subtext: at what price beauty – is this relaxing
• Hope/fear: We hope that Maia will mend, make friends, move on to deal with the humiliation and loss of her company but we fear how much a spa vacation can accomplish
o Beginning: Maia troubled and physically annoyed while Ollie in bliss (Uncomfortable Moment)
o Middle: Maia getting accidentally sucked into treatment trying to flee (External Dilemma)
o Ending: Maia exhausted and Ollie delighted after even more strenuous treatments (Mystery)

SCENE 19
INT. TREATMENT ROOM – DAY
Ollie gets her brain training session
• Essence: Show the brain treatment starting with fulfilment of fantasy and includes the insertion of idea of welcoming death
• Conflict: mentally fighting the idea of welcoming death
• Subtext: the connection of fulfilment and death
• Hope/fear: we hope Ollie (and other guests) survive this and come out stronger, but they could die
o Beginning: Ollie excited with her agenda of where her mind treatment will go (Mislead)
o Middle: Ollie’s therapy shows not one she requested but brainwashing (Superior Position)
o Ending: Ollie’s session ends with a robotic response from Ollie (Reveal)

SCENE 20
INT. SPA HOT TUB – NIGHT
Maia unwinds with her new guest friend, Dr. Kari checks in and gives advice, after Dr. Kari leaves Dr. Jeremy tries to apologize
• Essence: growing friendship and exchange of personal information
• Conflict: Dr. Kari is menacing and there noticeable issue with her skin. Will Maia forgive Dr. Jeremy- should she?
• Subtext: can you really ever relax
• Hope/fear: we hope Maia can recuperate but we fear something is wrong with the treatments
o Beginning: Dr. Jeremy wants to talk but sees Dr. Kari approaching and takes off (Mystery)
o Middle: Dr. Kari checks in and Maia’s guest friend gives a robotic response, startling Maia (Surprise)
o Ending: Dr. Kari pushes Maia for similar response then pushes for personal information and leaves unhappy (Intrigue)

SCENE 21
MONTAGE: PASSAGE OF DAYS AT SPA
Relationships and treatments progress
• Essence: shows the passage of time and plants seeds of concern
• Conflict: Ollie seems to be sucked in more and more to mind control
• Subtext: what do we control or let control us
• Hope/fear: we hope the grasp of the treatments will be beneficial but we fear something is wrong
o Beginning: Maia tries to skip a treatment but is discovered and forced to attend (External Dilemma)
o Middle: Ollie is in the same mind control treatment (Mystery)
o Ending: The treatment is mind control and Maia find it is having no effect on her (Cliffhanger)

SCENE 22
INT. MAIA’S ROOM – NIGHT
Ollie is missing but Maia is exhausted so they do not touch base but Maia sees one of Ollie’s treatment material/devise and finds it concerning
• Essence: building concern and mystery in Maia’s mind
• Conflict: Maia vs the treatments
• Subtext: trust
• Hope/fear: we hope Maia can uncover the mystery before someone is harmed but we fear for Ollie
o Beginning: After treatment Ollie disappears so Maia waits for her and investigates her stuff
o Middle: One of Ollie’s treatment creams releases a smell that makes Maia pass out and we see the trigger from mind treatments (Superior Position)
o Ending: Maia has nightmares (Uncomfortable Moment)

SCENE 23
INT. DR. KARI’S OFFICE – NIGHT
Dr. Kari looks over the guests’ treatments. She sees and article on Maia on the internet and thinks as she unwraps part of her skin.
• Essence: Dr. Kari is trying to determine how to manage the guests and leaves a note to change Maia’s treatment then steps into a treatment chamber
• Conflict: what is she doing with her skin
• Subtext: masks
• Hope/fear: we hope she is not evil but we fear her controlling behavior and skin issue is sick
o Beginning: Dr. Kari sees that Maia’s intake profile does not match her (Betrayal)
o Middle: Dr. Kari discovers Maia on the internet and her humiliation and considers her options (Internal Dilemma)
o Ending: Dr. Kari adjusts her skin and retreats to her connected lab (Cliffhanger)

Scene arc: Maia decides she needs to investigate but can’t find an ally
SCENE 24
INT. DINNING HALL – DAY
Maia asks her new guest friend some leading questions and gets cryptic, unhelpful answers
• Essence: new guest friend distances herself from Maia
• Conflict: Maia loses friend
• Subtext: danger of questions
• Hope/fear: we hope Maia can solve this but fear she’s found something real and dangerous
o Beginning: Maia notices people are not who they where when she met them (Suspense)
o Middle: New friend moves away from Maia (Intrigue)
o Ending: Maia is isolated and concerned (Mystery)

SCENE 25
INT. DR. JEREMY’S LAB – DAY
Dr. Kari is overseeing Dr. Jeremy’s work and seeks answers about possible applications (implying evil apps)
• Essence: To give Dr. Kari and Dr. Jeremy depth and add a twist for Maia at the end
• Conflict: Dr. Jeremy doesn’t like anyone touching his work, not even Dr. Kari
• Subtext: Dr. Kari’s question raises the stakes for Dr. Jeremy
• Hope/fear: We hope Dr. Jeremy will be a good guy, but we fear he’s made a pact with the devil, Dr. Kari
o Beginning: Dr. Kari reviews Dr. Jeremy’s work (Mislead)
o Middle: She tries to get information about Maia (Uncomfortable Moment)
o Ending: She pushes to use his research to reanimate tissue on cadavers (Reveal)

SCENE 26
INT. SPECIAL TREATMENT ROOM – NIGHT
Guest friend submitting to being killed – using language in Ollie’s brain sessions
• Essence: shows the scary death awaiting guests
• Conflict: the incongruity that someone would submit to death
• Subtext: Dr. Kari’s question raises the stakes for Dr. Jeremy
• Hope/fear: We hope this won’t happen to anyone else but the lack of honor given Guest the more we believe this is designed for everyone
o Beginning: Maia guest friend goes to mind treatment (Uncertainty)
o Middle: Guest friend feels sublime (Mystery)
o Ending: Guest enters a chamber and blood spurts against a translucent wall (Major Twist)

SCENE 27
Scene Arc: Both Maia and Dr. Jeremy break into the office to investigate and must flee before get answers
INT. DR. KARI’S OFFICE – NIGHT
Maia breaks in only to be startled that Dr. Jeremy is there
• Essence: raising the stakes, providing forced togetherness, gives action when they are forced to run
• Conflict: nether starts by trusting the other but they must trust to escape guards
• Subtext: attraction
• Hope/fear: we hope for answers then safety but we fear Dr. Jeremy but we fear more the guards
o Beginning: Maia breaks into the office and is startled that Dr. Jeremy is there (Intrigue)
o Middle: They join forces to search for information (Uncomfortable Moment)
o Ending: A guard shows up so Dr. Jeremy pulls her into Dr. Kari’s lab (Suspense)

SCENE 27
INT. LAB – NIGHT
Dr. Jeremy winds them through the gory oblation (skin removal) lab to escape the guards
• Essence: establish Maia’s fear factor and the nature of some of the experiments
• Conflict: Maia pushes away as Dr. Jeremy tries to protect her but she passes out
• Subtext: what do you fear more – attraction, healing, gory research
• Hope/fear: we hope Maia survives, we fear she will again go crazy
o Beginning: The lab is full of dead skin in various levels of preparation (External Dilemma)
o Middle: Maia becomes uncontrollable and Dr. Jeremy fears discovery by the guard (External Dilemma)
o Ending: Dr. Jeremy make Maia pass out (Cliffhanger)

Scene Arc: Maia and Dr. Jeremy are going to work together and have a new plan
SCENE 28
INT. DR. JEREMY’s BED – DAY
Maia awakens in Dr. Jeremy’s room and yelps at experiment photos, Dr. Jeremy comes out of bathroom
• Essence: To see Dr. Jeremy’s tattoo and learn his backstory; to show that trust has developed between them; before Maia can share more of her backstory Dr. Kari knocks on his door and he slips out before she can see Maia
• Conflict: Maia is concerned about what happened when she passed out; Dr. Jeremy shares about his sister’s death and feels vulnerable; Dr. Kari suspects something
• Subtext: the juggling game of trust/mistrust
• Hope/fear: we are excited or this new coalition but we fear that they are ach too broken to keep it going
o Beginning: Maia comes to gory research photos on facing her as Dr. Jeremy exits bathroom half dressed and explains what she’s seeing in his research breakthrough (Uncomfortable Moment)
o Middle: Dr. Jeremy settles Maia down; they talk; she admires his tattoo which he reveals is about his sister who died at the spa (Suspense)
o Ending: Dr. Kari knocks and tries to come in (Cliffhanger)

Scene Arc: As the day progresses Dr. Kari, Dr. Jeremy, Maia each figure something out and try to communicate
SCENE 29
INT./EXT. SPA MONTAGUE – DAY
Different revelations happen as each goes through their day, Maia and Dr. Jeremy try to connect
• Essence: escalating new tensions, jealousy, what the new revelations advance plot
o Maia sees Dr. Jeremy’s tattoo on Dr. Kari’s fresh skin
o Dr. Jeremy observes the organ harvesting and selling
o We see Dr. Kari add Dr. Jeremy’s sister’s skin with tattoo
• Conflict: details exposed and everyone is on edge
• Subtext: knowledge is dangerous
• Hope/fear: we hope the new information will provide Maia’s safety but we fear the evil uncovered
o Beginning: Maia sneaks out the employee entrance and sees the organ pickup trucks and things start clicking in place (Intrigue)
o Middle: She runs back in to find Dr. Jeremy and bumps into Dr. Kari and sees the same unique tattoo (Major TWIST)
o Ending: She excuses herself to find Dr. Jeremy and they agree to meet later to escape due to his research and escaping at t quiet time (Suspense)

Scene Arc: Maia and Dr. Jeremy prep to escape but Maia is trying to find Ollie
SCENE 30
INT. COSTUME PARTY – NIGHT
Maia has some scares trying to find Ollie then convince her to leave
• Essence: they exchange information and plan escape
• Conflict: time and fear of Dr. Kari
• Subtext: what really matters when time counts
• Hope/fear: we hope Maia can find Ollie but we fear she won’t in the costume party
o Beginning: Maia looks for Ollie at a costumed event (External Dilemma)
o Middle: She finds Ollie and has trouble breaking through some weird programming (Uncomfortable Moment)
o Ending: explains that they must leave, Ollie needs to go back for clothes (nothing under her costume) and car keys (Suspense)

SCENE 31
INT. DR. JEREMY’S LAB – NIGHT
Dr. Jeremy is trying to pack up his most valuable research
• Essence: they exchange information and plan escape
• Conflict: time and fear of Dr. Kari
• Subtext: what really matters when time counts
• Hope/fear: hope he can escape in time but fear that Dr. Kari will stop him
o Beginning: Dr. Jeremy runs into his lab and carefully gets out his research (Uncertainty)
o Middle: Dr. Kari appears and challenges him (External Dilemma)
o Ending: Dr. Kari holds Dr. Jeremy hostage and waits for Maia (Cliffhanger)

Scene Arc: Dr. Kari is in Dr. Jeremy’s lab is a showdown
SCENE 32
INT. LAB – NIGHT
Maia enters and is surprised to find Dr. Kari and an injured Dr. Jeremy
• Essence: Dr. Kari confronts Dr. Jeremy and attacks when Maia arrives
• Conflict: How much does she know/how dangerous is she
• Subtext: the devil you know
• Hope/fear: we hope we fear he and his research will be lost
o Beginning:
o Middle:
o Ending:

SCENE 34
INT. LAB – NIGHT
Dr. Kari has slashed Dr. Jeremy and he is bleeding profusely; Maia and Ollie have arrived
• Essence: Maia fights with Dr. Kari and questions her morals; engineers demise for Dr. Kari but Ollie steps in to be helpful and accidently gives Dr. Kari more power
• Conflict: a moral and physical battle
• Subtext: the devil inside vs death
• Hope/fear: we hope Maia will defeat Dr. Kari but fear that she will not win in time to help Dr. Jeremy
o Beginning: Maia and Dr. Kari are circling each other ready to fight (Suspense)
o Middle: Ollie tries to help by throwing a substance at Dr. Kari but it turns her skin a bright color but otherwise strengthens her (Mystery)
o Ending: Dr. Kari takes out Ollie and we don’t know if she is alive (Mystery)

SCENE 35
INT. LAB – NIGHT
Now everyone is in peril from Dr. Kari, Maia uses treated skin to wrap Dr. Jeremy and it immediately starts healing him
• Essence: Fight nears end but everyone is injured; Dr. Kari makes Maia a partnership offer she can’t refuse, at the last minute she figures out how and uses Dr. Jeremy’s sister’s skin’s cancerous research to kill Dr. Kari
• Conflict: besides fight with Dr. Kari, Maia is battling with herself over the offer
• Subtext: how weak we all are
• Hope/fear: we hope Maia can succeed but we fear the offer
o Beginning: Dr. Kari makes Maia a partnership offer (Major Twist)
o Middle: Maia uses slimy reanimated skin to treat Dr. Jeremy’s bleeding skin (Uncomfortable Moment)
o Ending: Maia backs Dr. Kari into a corner and tosses one of Dr. Jeremy’s treatment trays at her – she screams and runs into a treatment chamber which makes it worse and she dies (Major Twist)

Scene Arc: Months after killing Dr. Kari, Maia has taken over the spa
SCENE 36
EXT. SPA – Day
Ollie, Dr. Jeremy, Maia discuss the spa changes as they ready to meet their new guests which include a cocky Nemesis
• Essence: Show the new directions for the spa and Dr. Jeremy’s research
• Conflict: things seem peaceful until Nemesis steps out of a car
• Subtext: are we high minded or low minded humans
• Hope/fear: We hope Maia has moved past her humiliation but we fear that she is only human
o Beginning: Dr. Jeremy proposes to Maia and she accepts (Surprise)
o Middle: In welcoming new guests Nemesis steps out of a car (Uncomfortable Moment)
o Ending: Maia discusses how it was time to put the past behind her (“Bury the hatchet”) so she invited Nemesis to the new spa (Surprise)

SCENE 37
EXT. SPA – DAY
As Maia goes to greet Nemesis, Dr. Jeremy expresses pride in his relationship with Maia and how she’s overcome her fear of gore
• Essence: Ollie gets to reveal that she met Maia at a sanitarium when they were young, after Maia’s dead body encounter and, TWIST, Maia was committed because she became dangerously obsessed with reanimating humans, killing animals, doing bloody research on her own – all her aversion to gore was conditioning to protect others from her – looks like that’s gone
• Conflict: Dr. Jeremy goes from pride in Maia to fear
• Subtext: we are all capable
• Hope/fear: we hope Maia is well adjusted but we see that she is fully capable of torture and murder for fun whereas at least Dr. Kari had a selfish goal to heal herself
o Beginning: Dr. Jeremy tells Ollie he’s so proud of Maia’s work on the spa, accepting his marriage proposal, that Maia has such a loyal friend as Ollie (Surprise)
o Middle: Ollie reveals she met Maia in clinic for criminally insane juveniles and underwent treatments in order to reenter society (Major Twist)
o Ending: That’s why the spa treatments were so challenging for her but this process has blown off the aversion therapy that kept her in check (Major Twist)

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s Scene Requirements
Vision: Become a Writing Athlete
What I’ve learned: Not as easy as watching the movie in my mind

Scene Arc: Starts with success and ends in humiliation and mental breakdown
1. INT. BACKSTAGE OF CONFERENCE HALL – DAY
Maia confronts nemesis and walks way overly confident
• Essence: Sets up Maia as successful, intelligent, fearful fighter
• Conflict: Maia is idealistic in verbal sparring with ruthless, practical Nemesis
• Subtext: what is success/a win
• Hope/fear: Hope she succeeds as she seems likeable but fear she’ll lose because she’s too idealistic

2. INT. STAGE WING OF CONFERENCE HALL – DAY
Maia is shaken by Nemesis but tries to build herself up while she’s being introduced
• Essence: Maia’s corporate success feels flimsy
• Conflict: Maia is fighting her poor childhood flashbacks
• Subtext: success and failure hold hands
• Hope/fear: we hope she can succeed but fear that her childhood wounds will sink her

3. INT. MORGUE – NIGHT
In a flashback, Maia is a child cleaning the morgue with her parents
• Essence: introducing Maia’s wound
• Conflict: timid Maia has a real fear
• Subtext: character is facing your fears, even if pushed
• Hope/fear: we hope that nothing bad will happen but we fear something will traumatize her

4. INT. WINGS OF CONFERENCE HALL – DAY
Maia’s name is called and she walks onto stage, nods to Ollie in front row, starts to give her speech
• Essence: Sets up Maia’s self congratulating and coping mannerisms, intro her friend, Ollie
• Conflict: Maia is walking as she did as a child in the morgue
• Subtext: personal success is moment by moment
• Hope/fear: Hope she will gather her wits and be a leader; fear she will sink into childhood fears

5. INT. WINGS OF CONFERENCE HALL – DAY
Nemesis watches Maia while being prepped to walk on stage after Maia, with Maia’s “kryptonite” cologne
• Essence: Nemesis plays dirty
• Conflict: Nemesis doesn’t even appreciate his aide
• Subtext: is cruelty the cost of success
• Hope/fear: We hope Nemesis will fail but we fear that he will win

6. INT. CONFERENCE HALL STAGE – DAY
Nemesis joins a surprised Maia on stage and cuts off her speech to announce his takeover of her
• Essence: Nemesis engineers a way to humiliate her and make himself look strong
• Conflict: Nemesis wins; he invades her body space where his “cologne” causes her to freak and pass out
• Subtext: do we win at any cost
• Hope/fear: we hope that she is able to walk away but fear that Nemesis is the last man standing

Scene Arc: Maia is locked in a sanitarium room, breaks out, Ollie breaks in, together they escape
7. INT. SANITARIUM – NIGHT
Maia comes to in restraints being dumped in her locked room
• Essence: we learn that Nemesis has planned this so he must fear her
• Conflict: Maia can’t fight the restraints so she’s resigned
• Subtext: when to accept fate and when to escape
• Hope/fear: We hope she’ll figure a way out but fear she might not

8. INT. SANITARIUM – DAY
Maia awakens to breakfast being slid in the slot
• Essence: Maia realizes she’s been committed and decides to escape
• Conflict: Maia’s wound is makes her feel worthless and having trouble fighting
• Subtext: when to accept fate and when to escape
• Hope/fear: We fear Maia can overcome her wound but fear that she cannot escape

9. EXT. SANITARIUM – DAY
Maia is able to break out the door but every noise and another patient scares her then laughs at her
• Essence: adding horror elements and showing her ingenuity
• Conflict: Maia against the institution
• Subtext: sometimes our wounds land us in a real prison
• Hope/fear: we hope that she can escape but she doesn’t seem up to the task

10. INT. SANITARIUM – DAY
Ollie breaks into the sanitarium to rescue Maia
• Essence: establish Ollie as loyal, wacky, successful bumbler
• Conflict: Ollie cons staff into finding Maia then finds Maia already out of her room and they bicker
• Subtext: when is help not helpful
• Hope/fear: we hope Ollie can rescue Maia but we fear Maia may escape before they connect

11. INT. CAR – DAY
Maia and Ollie make it to the escape car and bicker- Ollie triggers the alarm (You’ll want them to look for you and get the press on your side, especially since I have the perfect hideout)
• Essence: breather to make the spa a reasonable hideout and build their friendship
• Conflict: Ollie insists on driving Maia’s car and using Maia’s credit
• Subtext: why can’t Maia just accept a rescue
• Hope/fear: we hope Ollie’s planned hideout will work but we fear that she messes things up

ACT 2
Scene Arc: Arrive at spa and Maia has agreed to accept hiding out and healing here
12. EXT. SPA LOADING DOCK – DAY
At employee entrance Maia meets promising Dr. Jeremy then upsets him while Dr. Kari observes
• Essence: Maia and Dr. Jeremy seem to spark to each other until she upset the research he is unloading and he gets angry and she is grossed out by the gory mess. Subtlety we see Dr. Kari becomes involved even though she seemed to be involved in shipment out marked ‘medical tissue’ or ‘human organ’
• Conflict: Maia and Dr. Jeremy push/pull and Dr. Kari observing
• Subtext: is there love at first sight
• Hope/fear: We hope Maia encounters a positive relationship but we fear Dr. Jeremy is unstable

13. INT. SPA BEDROOM – DAY
Maia and Ollie settle into their room as Maia views it as a prison
• Essence: grumbling Maia tries to acclimate
• Conflict: Ollie teases about Dr. Jeremy
• Subtext: can I have some privacy please
• Hope/fear: we hope Maia and Ollie are able to put up with each other but we worry Ollie might not be a good friend

14. INT. SPA DINING ROOM – DAY
Dr. Kari walks through the welcome details with staff and flirts while showing Dr Jeremy the operation
• Essence: set up Dr. Kari’s sharp condescension to staff and how she first with Dr. Jeremy; We see that she has something odd with her skin when she is near certain things. Is Dr. Jeremy interested in Dr. Kari.
• Conflict: Dr. Kari and staff is opposite Dr. Kari and Dr. Jeremy
• Subtext: the masks we wear
• Hope/fear: we don’t wish Dr. Kari well but she is in charge

15. INT. SPA DINING ROOM – NIGHT
Dr. Kari meets the guests introduces spa and specialized treatment schedules then guests eat and party
• Essence: Shows Ollie’s buy in to events, introduces guest that Maia will hang out with, shows Dr. Kari’s arrogance and jealousy, treatments are weird
• Conflict: Maia doesn’t realize she’s stepped into a triangle with Dr. Kari, who has designs on Dr. Jeremy
• Subtext: bloom where you are planted
• Hope/fear: We hope Maia will heal and have a good time, we fear something is wrong with Dr. Kari

16. INT. SPA BEDROOM – DAY
Ollie is excited about her weird treatment and pushes a hung over Maia to get going
• Essence: building the spa world, Ollie mentioning her mind impregnation treatment
• Conflict: Ollie and Maia have friendly antagonism and based on Ollie’s ditzy behavior we wonder how they are friends
• Subtext: can we be friends with someone so different
• Hope/fear: given how weird the treatments seem we hope they will be helpful/healthful but we fear mind impregnation is fraught with problems

Scene Arc: Trying to heal at the spa but keep finding things just don’t add up
17. INT. SPA TREATMENTS MONTAGUE – DAY
Maia hates her weird treatments, Ollie is in bliss, Maia connects with her new friend
• Essence: shows the twisted gory treatments, contrasts Ollie’s response to Maia’s fears; Maia connects with new friend, Ollie’s mind treatment induces robotic behavior
• Conflict: The spa treatments are gory and challenging
• Subtext: at what price beauty – is this relaxing
• Hope/fear: We hope that Maia will mend, make friends, move on to deal with the humiliation and loss of her company but we fear how much a spa vacation can accomplish

18. INT. SPA HOT TUB – NIGHT
Maia unwinds with her new guest friend, Dr. Kari checks in and gives advice, after Dr. Kari leave Dr. Jeremy tries to apologize
• Essence: growing friendship and exchange of personal information
• Conflict: Dr. Kari is menacing and there noticeable issue with her skin. Will Maia forgive Dr. Jeremy- should she?
• Subtext: can you really ever relax
• Hope/fear: we hope Maia can recuperate but we fear something is wrong with the treatments

19. INT. MAIA’S ROOM – NIGHT
Ollie is missing but Maia is exhausted so they do not touch base but Maia sees one of Ollie’s treatment material/devise and finds it concerning
• Essence: building concern and mystery in Maia’s mind
• Conflict: Maia vs the treatments
• Subtext: trust
• Hope/fear: we hope Maia can uncover the mystery before someone is harmed but we fear for Ollie

20. INT. DR. KARI’S OFFICE – NIGHT
Dr. Kari looks over the guests’ treatments. She sees and article on Maia on the internet and thinks as she unwraps part of her skin.
• Essence: Dr. Kari is trying to determine how to manage the guests and leaves a note to change Maia’s treatment then steps into a treatment chamber
• Conflict: what is she doing with her skin
• Subtext: masks
• Hope/fear: we hope she is not evil but we fear her controlling behavior and skin issue is sick

Scene arc: Maia decides she needs to investigate but can’t find an ally
21. INT. DINNING HALL – DAY
Maia asks her new guest friend some leading questions and gets cryptic, unhelpful answers
• Essence: new guest friend distances herself from Maia
• Conflict: Maia loses friend
• Subtext: danger of questions
• Hope/fear: we hope Maia can solve this but fear she’s found something real and dangerous

22. INT. DR. JEREMY’S LAB – DAY
Dr. Kari is overseeing Dr. Jeremy’s work and seeks answers about possible applications (implying evil apps)
• Essence: To give Dr. Kari and Dr. Jeremy depth and add a twist for Maia at the end
• Conflict: Dr. Jeremy doesn’t like anyone touching his work, not even Dr. Kari
• Subtext: Dr. Kari’s question raises the stakes for Dr. Jeremy
• Hope/fear: We hope Dr. Jeremy will be a good guy, but we fear he’s made a pact with the devil, Dr. Kari

Scene Arc: Both Maia and Dr. Jeremy break into the office to investigate and must flee before get answers
23. INT. SPA OFFICE – NIGHT
Maia breaks in only to be startled that Dr. Jeremy is there
• Essence: raising the stakes, providing forced togetherness, gives action when they are forced to run
• Conflict: nether starts by trusting the other but they must trust to escape guards
• Subtext: attraction
• Hope/fear: we hope for answers then safety but we fear Dr. Jeremy but we fear more the guards

24. INT. LAB – NIGHT
Dr. Jeremy winds them through the gory oblation (skin removal) lab to escape the guards
• Essence: establish Maia’s fear factor and the nature of some of the experiments
• Conflict: Maia pushes away as Dr. Jeremy tries to protect her but she passes out
• Subtext: what do you fear more – attraction, healing, gory research
• Hope/fear: we hope Maia will survive, we fear she will again go crazy

Scene Arc: Maia and Dr. Jeremy are going to work together and have a new plan
25. INT. DR. JEREMY’s BED – DAY
Maia awakens in Dr. Jeremy’s room and yelps at experiment photos, Dr. Jeremy comes out of bathroom
• Essence: To see Dr. Jeremy’s tattoo and learn his backstory; to show that trust has developed between them; before Maia can share more of her backstory Dr. Kari knocks on his door and he slips out before she can see Maia
• Conflict: Maia is concerned about what happened when she passed out; Dr. Jeremy shares about his sister’s death and feels vulnerable; Dr. Kari suspects something
• Subtext: the juggling game of trust/mistrust
• Hope/fear: we are excited or this new coalition but we fear that they are ach too broken to keep it going

Scene Arc: As the day progresses Dr. Kari, Dr. Jeremy, Maia each figure something out and try to communicate
26. INT./EXT. SPA MONTAGUE – DAY
Different revelations happen as each goes through their day, Maia and Dr. Jeremy try to connect
• Essence: escalating new tensions, jealousy, what the new revelations advance plot
o Maia sees Dr. Jeremy’s tattoo on Dr. Kari’ fresh skin
o Dr. Jeremy observes the organ harvesting and selling
o Dr. Kari discovers that she is wearing Dr. Jeremy’s sister’s skin
• Conflict: details exposed and everyone is on edge
• Subtext: knowledge is dangerous
• Hope/fear: we hope the new information will provide Maia’s safety but we fear the evil uncovered

Scene Arc: Maia and Dr. Jeremy prep to escape but Maia is trying to find Ollie
27. INT. SPA TREATMENT ROOM – NIGHT
Dr. Jeremy and Maia exchange info and plan to escape but Maia must get Ollie and he must save some research
• Essence: they exchange information and plan escape
• Conflict: time and fear of Dr. Kari
• Subtext: what really matters when time counts
• Hope/fear: we hope Maia can find Ollie but we fear she won’t in the costume party

28. INT. DR. JEREMY’S LAB – NIGHT
Dr. Jeremy is trying to pack up his most valuable research
• Essence: they exchange information and plan escape
• Conflict: time and fear of Dr. Kari
• Subtext: what really matters when time counts
• Hope/fear: hope he can escape in time but fear that Dr. Kari will stop him

INT. COSTUME PARTY – NIGHT
29. Maia has some scares trying to find Ollie then convince her to leave
• Essence: Raise stakes with Ollie who says she must delay to get out of bulky costume with no clothes underneath so they separate
• Conflict: Maia against a lot of mind-controlled people
• Subtext: believing truth
• Hope/fear: we want Ollie to be safe but fear she’s sucked into the mind control

Scene Arc: Dr. Kari is in Dr. Jeremy’s lab is a showdown
30. INT. LAB – NIGHT
Dr. Jeremy is confronted while packing part of his research when Dr. Kari confronts him
• Essence: Dr. Kari confronts Dr. Jeremy and attacks when Maia arrives
• Conflict: How much does she know/how dangerous is she
• Subtext: the devil you know
• Hope/fear: we hope we fear he and his research will be lost

INT. LAB – NIGHT
31. Dr. Kari has slashed Dr. Jeremy and he is bleeding profusely; Maia and Ollie have arrived
• Essence: Maia fights with Dr. Kari and questions her morals; engineers demise for Dr. Kari but Ollie steps in to be helpful and accidently gives Dr. Kari more power
• Conflict: a moral and physical battle
• Subtext: the devil inside vs death
• Hope/fear: we hope Maia will defeat Dr. Kari but fear that she will not win in time to help Dr. Jeremy

32. INT. LAB – NIGHT
Now everyone is in peril from Dr. Kari, Maia uses treated skin to wrap Dr. Jeremy and it immediately starts healing him
• Essence: Fight nears end but everyone is injured; Dr. Kari makes Maia a partnership offer she can’t refuse, at the last minute she figures out how and uses Dr. Jeremy’s sister’s skin’s cancerous research to kill Dr. Kari
• Conflict: besides fight with Dr. Kari, Maia is battling with herself over the offer
• Subtext: how weak we all are
• Hope/fear: we hope Maia can succeed but we fear the offer

Scene Arc: Months after killing Dr. Kari, Maia has taken over the spa
33. EXT. SPA – Day
Ollie, Dr. Jeremy, Maia discuss the spa changes as they ready to meet their new guests which include a cocky Nemesis
• Essence: Show the new directions for the spa and Dr. Jeremy’s research
• Conflict: things seem peaceful until Nemesis steps out of a car
• Subtext: are we high minded or low minded humans
• Hope/fear: We hope Maia has moved past her humiliation but we fear that she is only human

As Maia goes to greet Nemesis, Dr. Jeremy expresses pride in his relationship with Maia and how she’s overcome her fear of gore
• Essence: Ollie gets to reveal that she met Maia at a sanitarium when they were young, after Maia’s dead body encounter and, TWIST, Maia was committed because she became dangerously obsessed with reanimating humans, killing animals, doing bloody research on her own – all her aversion to gore was conditioning to protect others from her – looks like that’s gone
• Conflict: Dr. Jeremy goes from pride in Maia to fear
• Subtext: we are all capable
• Hope/fear: we hope Maia is well adjusted but we see that she is fully capable of torture and murder for fun whereas at least Dr. Kari had a selfish goal to heal herself

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s Intriguing Moments
Vision: Become a Writing Athlete
What I’ve learned: I’m not seeing originality in the AI responses, but they are embellishing things I’ve started which makes me happy

Act 1
Scheme – Maia thought she was acquiring a company that ends up taking over her company
Secret – How does Ollie spring Maia from the institution

Act 2
Intrigue – the spa seems off or is it just Maia’s discomfort
Superior position – Audience knows part of Maia’s backstory that Dr. Kari and the spa do not

Act 3
Mystery – why are guests disappearing, being hypnotized, what supports the luxury of the spa
Covert agenda – Dr. Jeremy’s quest to uncover his sister’s death

Act 4
Secret – Dr. Kari is wearing Dr. Jeremy’s sister’s skin
Superior position – Maia and Dr. Kari each believe that they
Conspiracy – Dr. Kari’s full enterprise is revealed
Hidden Identity – Dr. Kari is creating skin that she can wear
Hidden identity – Ollie has been institutionalized many times, in fact, that’s where she and Mia met as traumatized children

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s Emotional Moments
Vision: Become a Writing Athlete
What I’ve learned: This gives me a guide to cover emotional bases I don’t naturally think about

Act 1
• Surprise and Betrayal – Maia crumbles she loses her company when she thought she was acquiring one
• Surprise and Loyalty – Ollie breaks Maia out of a mental hospital
• Wound – Maia’s loss triggers mental breakdown
Act 2
• Love – Maia is attracted to Dr. Jeremy
• Wound – touching his equipment/research or touching him triggers Dr. Jeremy
Act 3
• Hidden Weakness – Maia is squeamish and that continues to be confronted
• Bonding – Dr. Jeremy and Maia find common purpose
• Courage – Maia facing oblation room
• Wound – Dr. Kari is triggered by challenges to her position, desirability and intelligence
• Betrayal – Dr. Jeremy feels betrayed by Dr. Kari over his sister’s death and that discovery makes him wonder if his research will also be stollen and used for wrong means
• Loyalty – Maia tries to rescue Ollie
Act 4
• Hidden weakness – Maia’s weakness is exposed
• Success – Dr. Kari brags on her success and yet Maia is finally the victor
• Courage – Maia faces down Dr. Kari to save Ollie and uses gross tissue to mend Dr. Jeremy
• Love – Maia and Dr. Jeremy get together
• Moral issue – Maia and Dr. Jeremy take issue with Dr. Kari’s killing and using people but Dr. Kari takes issue with people who waste their lives and she gives them the freedom they desire
• Loyalty – although it backfires Ollie tries to rescue Maia

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s Reveals
Pam’ Character Action Tracks
Vision: Become a Writing Athlete
What I’ve learned: As I apply each lesson, I am seeing something new in my story

Act 1:
• Opening – Maia dreams of being awarded as CEO overseeing a successful acquisition
• As the announcer introducers her she sees the truth:
o Announcer on stage introducing her – her rise from humble beginning – off stage she clenches her eyes and fists closed – she sees the poverty and desperation she grew up in – she lightly pumps her fists – reciting “finally, finally, finally…”
o Announcer – always competitive – in her mind flashback she sees her arch nemesis Facebook post taunting her as she fails – she lightly pumps her fists to congratulate self – practicing her speech “… I acquired a major competitor…”
o Announcer – always willing to go the extra mile – in her mind flashback she sees how she scrubbed down the tiled space with her parents – she struggles not to vomit – she lightly pumps her fists to regain control – practicing her speech “…
o Announcer – she came to build and now she’s here to announce her greatest acquisition – in her mind she sees a glowing cloak around her – she lightly pumps her fists to show triumph
o She pops her eyes open
• Inciting Incident – as she slows her walk to be in control on stage, she sees her nemesis applauding and approaching briskly from the other side of the stage
o Her nemesis reaches the microphone first and explains how his angel investment fund has used the time her company was overleveraged in the acquisition to acquire her company out from under her
o Nemesis and Maia verbally spare. She confronts him with ideological ideas. He teases that this the real dog eat dog world and the blame falls squarely on her naïve shoulders. His corporate logo, a scorpion, on his lapel seems to jump out at Maia.
o She pumps her fists lamely in his direction and he taunts her effectualness.
o She struggles to speak but she’s surrounded by trying to invoke the white glowing cloak which could be flashbulbs over nemesis taunting “and down she goes” and laughter and applause. The whiteness it billows into menacing blackness
• Maia awakens in the white cloak. Still delirious, she gives a soft victory pumps then she realizes she’s strapped to a gurney by people in white cloaks.
• Turning Point – Maia awakens in the white cloak. Still delirious, she gives a soft victory pumps. Then she slumps and Ollie wheels Maia out of a clinic. In the car she remembers her humiliation. Ollie tries to build her up and tells Maia that they are going to a secretive spa that promises to fulfill your every last desire.
• Ollie has stolen Maia from clinic – yeah, I’ve spent time here – don’t worry your credit cards still work
• Maia settles into the car and nearly jumps out of her skin she brushes off a real spider
• Ollie threatens to check Maia back into clinic if she doesn’t stay for 3 weeks at the spa. (she got Maia out because “they know me there”/ “blackmail requires collateral not smarts”)
• On the drive, Ollie yammers on about the peace of a mental void hinting at death. Maia scolds (“you shouldn’t have done that. Thank you.”) Ollie wants the old Maia back they share a secret handshake from childhood. Maia watches the scenery slipping by then mentally drifts into nightmares.

Act 2:
• New plan – We see Ollie select the employee entrance, park and wake Maia
• Maia gets out of car while Ollie pulls luggage from the trunk. Dr. Jeremey is spraining to unload lab equipment. His tee-shirt shifts revealing a hard body and unique tattoo. Maia brightens.
• The equipment wobbles on the ramp by Maia so she reaches out to help stabilize it. Dr. Jeremy rages that she dared to Maia touches his experiment.
• Maia and Ollie are rescued by Dr. Kari who appears to gracefully greet Dr. Jeremy and unstick the equipment. Maia observes a wrinkle in Dr. Kari’s skin as she steps into the sunlight to condescendingly direct them to the correct entrance. Dr. Kari turns the charm on Dr. Jeremy while rolling her knuckles into a soft fist and ignoring Maia’s apologies.
• At the welcome meeting, Maia meets other guests and really hits it off with a vital older woman whom Maia thinks is speaking about peaceful spa life.
• Different treatments are assigned by Dr. Kari perfectionistic individualized for them. Seeing her aggressive treatments, Maia asks Ollie what she told them was wrong with her. Dr. Kari makes a special intro to encourage Maia because of her treatment needs.
• Dr. Jeremy seeks out Maia to make his apologies but just fumbles his words, jerks away at her touch, he gets factual and she gets ideological.
• Maia tries to embrace the lux accommodations and being pampered, something seems off to her and she keeps being startled. The staff coaxes her that this is an indication of how much she needs to be there.
• Maia bumps into her friend guest at a life-correction therapy and discovers that maybe being passive is not her best therapy – guest won’t take an action with her
• Plan in action – she attempts different therapies but things just don’t add up. She tells the staff thy and to fix her. Dr. Kari always says you are responsible for your healing. Ollie is completely happy.
• Later a different meaning emerges when Maia investigates the same guest’s reason for being there.
• Dr. Kari going from graceful control to a guest then is seen angrily berating staff.
• There are hypnosis/mind simulation to give guests a sense of control and replacing regrets with a positive response or fantasy fulfillment guided journeys. Ollie enjoys. Maia’s treatment somehow is gory full of challenges.
• Maia retires to her room to sort out what is happening. Ollie drags her to a pool to swim with skin sloughing fishes. Maia gets bit. Ollie is acting weirdly. Dr. Kari seems to have arranged this is lingering in the background.
• Midpoint Turning Point – she suspects Ollie and others are being brainwashed but she doesn’t understand what the purpose is. She analyzes what her sessions are telling her and what the end result of her treatment might be.

Act 3:
• Rethink everything – Suspicious, Maia breaks into the office to find where her guest friend disappeared to. She is greeted by a flashlight in her face. Dr. Jeremy faces her angrily.
• They uncover critical information but it doesn’t add up. They hear someone come in and she grabs him to hide, he reflexively pushes her away then snuggles in. The guard moves on and locks them in the room. Dr. Jeremy tries to put things back exactly being very OCD.
• Dr. Jeremy has another way out if they climb out the window and drop down a floor. He leads her through a room covered odd strips. It’s the oblation room which is where human tissues are harvested.
• Maia recalls cleaning with her parents and being tackled by dead bodies improperly stored and falling out on her. Maia has a psychotic break. Dr. Jeremy drags her back to his room.
• The next morning while Dr. Jeremy is in the shower, Maia wakes up and screams at the lab pictures in his room. Dr. Jeremy confides that his sister came here at his suggestion to boost her cancer recovery, instead she died and he wants to know why. Half dressed Maia notices his tattoo.
• Dr. Kari knocks on his door to remind him about their meeting. She tries to push in to see how he is settling in but Dr. Jeremy slips out of the room instead.
• On a walk around with Dr. Jeremy, Dr. Kari notices that he sees Maia and they exchange
• AT lunch the meal makes Maia ill. Conversation is full of coded double meanings.
• Maia tries to alert Ollie and another guest without success while avoiding the now suspicious, Dr. Kari
• New plan – Leave – but she is hallucinating and taken to the clinic in the spa. Dr. Jeremy gives her an antidote, so she is on her feet before Dr. Kari anticipates.
• Turning Point: The spa’s euthanizing is revealed. Maia needs to escape. She looks for Ollie.
• It is costume party night at the spa and Maia tries to uncover Ollie. Dr, Kari circles trying to unmask Maia. Huge failure trying to get Ollie to leave but Ollie attacks her. This exposes Maia to Dr. Kari.
• Major shift – breakout failure creates impending demise and capture by Dr. Kari

Act 4:
• Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict – Dr. Jeremy seeks to rescue Maia from Dr. Kari but gets knocked out. Ollie becomes surprisingly resourceful but is helping Dr. Kari. Ultimately Maia faces off against Dr. Kari in gruesome use of treatments.
• Dr. Kari tries almost successfully to recruit Maia defending that most people aren’t really alive and welcome a peaceful death. Ollie is oddly resourceful – like she could really be brainwashed with her chemical history!
• Resolution – With Ollie’s help Maia discovers Dr. Kari’s weakness in that she’s wearing dead skin that is susceptible to some of the spa treatments. Dr. Kari’s garb rips showing a tattoo that matches Dr. Jeremy’s and Maia puts together that this is sister’s skin.
• Behind Dr. Kari, Dr. Jeremy comes to and activates the spa treatment that is Dr. Kari’s weakness. Maia understands and drives Dr. Kari to the treatment. Dr. Kari understands and mocks them that she has cured her susceptibility.
• Maia offers her a chance to live but Dr. Kari is overconfident so rejects amnesty because she has fixed the cancerous skin susceptibility. Dr. Jeremy seems defeated with a shallow bleed that exposes muscle so he is unable to fight.
• Maia talks to Dr. Kari she takes ribbons of prepped skin and wraps Dr. Jeremy. Maia flinches but completes first aide.
• She faces off with Dr. Kari and the fight utilizes deeper injuries to each. Dr. Kari laughs but Maia has been to the oblation room and saw a tool that strips the skin. She is deeply injured.
• She flashes back to the morgue cleaning as a child and being frightened by the embalming tools and accidently being tackled by dead bodies. She realizes that Dr. Kari is wearing dead tissue that is not yet fully incorporated therefore lacking the pinkness of blood flow.
• As Dr. Kari makes final offer to Maia to join her or kill her, Maia blasts Dr. Kari with a blast of the tissue treatment liquid then xxxxx which starts Dr. Kari’s skin to shrivel painfully off her body. Dr. Kari dies.
• Dr. Jeremy painfully slides over to Maia and takes some of his skin wrap to hold her together. Maia comments that this a death bond between them.
• Ollie awakens sorry that she missed the fun.
• New Ways: Maia is the exuberant, large motion owner of the spa welcoming people. Spa is revamped as a new hotspot that promises celebrity youthfulness thanks to Dr. Jeremy. Maia and Jeremy have conquered their issues; Dr. Jeremy continues his research; Dr. Kari is dead; Ollie is the new concierge.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’ Character Action Tracks
Vision: Become a Writing Athlete
What I’ve learned: by adding details to the characters, I am not only flushing them out but making them a better fit to the story – for instance I discovered new parallels between the protag and antag

Protagonist – Maia Action Tracks
o Controlled Actions – subtle fist bumps, reluctant to bend as needed
o Uncontrolled Actions – exuberant open handed, hands up dancing, taking weird postures
o Squeamish – rejecting
o Squeamish – embracing/utilizing
o Passive/Working through others – need that report and recommendation, its your job to make me relax
o Active/Making actions/decisions on her own – takes control of spa device even though she doesn’t know what she’s doing
o Loyal – shoves Ollie aside and takes the blame herself
o Idealistic – Jerks head when things aren’t her way
o Always ready to tell people off – gets philosophical

Antagonist – Dr. Kari Action Tracks
o Controlled Actions – controlling other from diction to posture
o Uncontrolled Actions – splayed out fighting for life
o Squeamish – embracing/utilizing
o Not submissive – like a captured wild animal when asked to comply
o Bad temper but patient in getting revenge – stiff upper lip then smiling at conclusion of revenge
o Perfectionist – destroys perfectly good things to be better
o Always the smartest person in the situation – gets robotically factual

Triangle – Dr. Jeremy Action Tracks
o Possessive – over-reacts to his research being touched or questioned
o Reactive in General – pushes back when bumped
o Not spontaneous – fumbles a lot when trying to act off the cuff or hide something
o Always the smartest person in the situation – gets robotically factual
o Hard to open up – pushes away when he should move closer
o Interested in Maia – recoils at her touch

Special Interest – Ollie Action Tracks
o High-spirited – bouncy/not halfway about anything/ always extreme choices
o Adventurous – taking employee entrance, stealing Maia from clinic, using Maia’s credit to finance trip
o Independent – does yoga different than traditional poses
o Unfocused/easily bored – walks away from conversations, chases butterflies and hummingbirds
o Intelligent – makes winning chess/game moves for others
o Quick to anger/quick to stuff it into something nonsensical – plays dumb a lot

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s New Outline Beats!
Vision: Become a Writing Athlete
What I’ve learned: backwards working
“The Last Resort”, dark comedy where an ousted CEO goes to resort spa with friend only to discover it euthanizes “guests”

Act 1:
• Opening – Maia dreams of being awarded as CEO overseeing a successful acquisition
• As the announcer introducers her she sees the truth:
o Announcer – her rise from humble beginning – she sees the poverty and desperation she grew up in – she lightly pumps her fists to show triumph
o Announcer – always competitive – she sees her arch nemesis taunting her as she fails – she lightly pumps her fists to show triumph
o Announcer – always willing to go the extra mile – she sees how she scrubbed down the morgue with her parents – she struggles not to vomit – she lightly pumps her fists to show triumph
o Announcer – she came to build and now she’s here to announce her greatest acquisition – she sees a glowing cloak around her – she lightly pumps her fists to show triumph
• Inciting Incident – as she walks on stage to applause, she sees her nemesis applauding and approaching from the other side of the stage
o Her nemesis reaches the microphone first and explains how his angel investment fund has used the time her company was overleveraged in the acquisition to acquire her company out from under her
o She struggles to speak but she’s surrounded by a white glow that billows into menacing blackness
o Nemesis adds insult to injury saying she showed her backbone as she faints and falls to the floor
• Turning Point – Maia awakens in the white cloak. Still delirious, she gives a soft victory pumps. Then she slumps and Ollie wheels Maia out of a clinic. In the car she remembers her humiliation. Ollie tries to build her up and tells Maia that they are going to a secretive spa that promises to fulfill your every last desire.
• Ollie threatens to check Maia back into clinic if she doesn’t stay for 3 weeks at the spa. (she got Maia out because “they know me there” and blackmailers don’t need to be smart}
• On the drive, Ollie yammers on about the peace of a mental void hinting at death. Maia mentally drifts into nightmares causing Ollie to use a knock out drug on her.

Act 2:
• New plan – Maia meets promising Dr. Jeremy as Ollie has driven to the employees entrance. Dr. Jeremey is upset because Maia touches his gross experiments that he is unloading into his new lab at the spa.
• Maia and Ollie are welcomed by Dr. Kari who acts as their concierge. We see a chinch in Dr. Kari’s skin and demeanor as she explains how she found treatments to cure her of her aggressive cancers.
• Maia meets other guests and really hits it off with a vital older woman whom Maia thinks is speaking about peaceful spa life. Later a different meaning about emerges when Maia investigates the guest’s reason for being there.
• Different treatments are assigned by Dr. Kari individualized for them. Seeing her aggressive treatments, Maia asks Ollie what she told them was wrong with her. Dr. Kari makes a special intro to encourage Maia because of her treatment needs.
• Maia tries to embrace the lux accommodations and being pampered, something seems off to her and she keeps being startled. The staff coaxes her that this is an indication of how much she needs to be there.
• Maia bumps into her friend guest at a life-correction therapy and discovers that maybe being passive is not her best therapy – guest won’t take an action with her
• Plan in action – she attempts different therapies but things just don’t add up. Ollie is completely happy.
• Midpoint Turning Point – she suspects Ollie and others are being brainwashed but she doesn’t understand what the purpose is She analyzes what her sessions are telling her and what the end result of her treatment might be.

Act 3:
• Rethink everything – Suspicious, Maia breaks into the office to find where her guest friend disappeared to. She hides as Dr. Jeremy breaks in after her. Ollie breaks in on both of them to say someone is coming.
• Dr. Jeremy leads them to cover in the oblation room which is where human tissues are harvested. The other person does not see them. Maia has a psychotic break and Ollie and Dr. Jeremy take her back to her room.
• The next morning Dr. Jeremy tries to talk to Maia but Dr. Kari is keeping him busy. Dr. Kari notices the exchanged glances and invites Maia and Ollie to lunch with her and Dr. Jeremy.
• Over lunch the meal makes Maia ill. Conversation is full of coded double meanings.
• Maia tries to alert Ollie and another guest without success while avoiding the now suspicious Dr. Jeremy and spa owner, Dr. Kari
• New plan – Leave – but she is hallucinating and taken to the clinic in the spa. Dr. Jeremy gives her an antidote, so she is on her feet before Dr. Kari anticipates.
• Dr. Jeremy confides that his sister came here at his suggestion to boost her cancer recovery, instead she died.
• Turning Point: The spa’s euthanizing is revealed. Maia needs to escape. She looks for Ollie.
• It is costume party night at the spa and Maia tries to uncover Ollie. Dr, Kari circles trying to unmask Maia. Huge failure trying to get Ollie to leave but Ollie attacks her. This exposes Maia to Dr. Kari.
• Major shift – breakout failure creates impending demise and capture by Dr. Kari

Act 4:
• Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict – Dr. Jeremy seeks to rescue Maia from Dr. Kari but gets knocked out. Ollie becomes surprisingly resourceful but is helping Dr. Kari. Ultimately Maia faces off against Dr. Kari in gruesome use of treatments.
• Dr. Kari tries almost successfully to recruit Maia defending that most people aren’t really alive and welcome a peaceful death. Ollie is oddly resourceful – like she could really be brainwashed with her chemical history!
• Resolution – With Ollie’s help Maia discovers Dr. Kari’s weakness in that she’s wearing dead skin that is susceptible to some of the spa treatments. Behind Dr. Kari, Dar. Jeremy comes to and activates the spa treatment that is Dr. Kari’s weakness. Maia understands and drives Dr. Kari to the treatment. Dr. Kari understands and mocks them that she has cured her susceptibility.
• Maia offers her a chance to live but Dr. Kari is overconfident so rejects amnesty and is nearly killed by her own vanity. In a final decision Maia reverts to making things happen, fights through things she was squeamish about, even using them, and forces Dr. Kari to surrender. AT the last second Dr. Kari’s vanity seeks escape, and she dies in her own Maia-modified treatment.
• Maia is deeply injured and Dr. Jeremy uses one of Dr. Kari’ therapies to treat her.
• New Ways: Maia is the owner of the spa which is revamped as a new hotspot that promises celebrity youthfulness thanks to Dr. Jeremy. Maia and Jeremy have conquered their issues; Dr. Jeremy continues his research; Dr. Kari is dead; Ollie is the new concierge.
One common note on screenplays is, “This plot has holes in it.” The producer may say it directly or they may just stop reading. The great news is that we can solve it before you write a single draft. It is so much easier to solve plotting problems early in the process.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s Beat Sheet Draft 1
Vision: Become a Writing Athlete
What I’ve learned: In one sense I know the story I’m telling and in another sense it is all pending and changeable so I don’t need to be upset or worry about anything

Beat Sheet Draft 1
Act 1:
• Opening – Maia dreams of being awarded as CEO overseeing a successful acquisition
o As the announcer introducers her she sees the truth:
 Announcer – her rise from humble beginning – she sees the poverty and desperation she grew up in – she lightly pumps her fists to show triumph
 Announcer – always competitive – she sees her arch nemesis taunting her as she fails – she lightly pumps her fists to show triumph
 Announcer – always willing to go the extra mile – she sees how she scrubbed down the morgue with her parents – she struggles not to vomit – she lightly pumps her fists to show triumph
 Announcer – she came to build and now she’s here to announce her greatest acquisition – she sees a glowing cloak around her – she lightly pumps her fists to show triumph
• Inciting Incident – as she walks on stage to applause, she sees her nemesis applauding and approaching from the other side of the stage
o Her nemesis reaches the microphone first and explains how his angel investment fund has used the time her company was overleveraged in the acquisition to acquire her company out from under her
o She struggles to speak but the white glow billows into a menacing blackness
o Nemesis adds insult to injury saying she showed her backbone as she faints and falls to the floor
• Turning Point – Maia awakens in the white cloak and she gives a soft smile and again pumps her fists. Ollie wheels Maia out of a clinic and says they are going to a secretive spa that promises to fulfill your every last desire. On the drive, Ollie yammers on about the peace of a mental void hinting at death. Maia mentally drifts into nightmares.

Act 2:
• New plan – Maia meets promising Dr. Jeremy as Ollie has driven to the employees entrance. Dr. Jeremey is upset because Maia touches his gross experiments that he is unloading into his new lab at the spa.
• Maia and Ollie are welcomed by Dr. Kari who acts as their concierge. We see a chinch in Dr. Kari’s demeanor as she explains how she fought off aggressive cancers.
• Different treatments are assigned by Dr. Kari individualized for them. Seeing her aggressive treatments, Maia asks Ollie what she told them was wrong with her. Dr. Kari makes a special intro to encourage Maia because of her treatment needs.
• Maia tries to embrace the lux accommodations and being pampered, something seems off to her and she keeps being startled. The staff says it is an indication of how much she needs to be there.
• Plan in action – she attempts different therapies but things just don’t add up. Ollie is completely happy.
• Maia meets other guests and really hits it off with a vital older woman whom Maia thinks is speaking about peaceful spa life. Later a different meaning about
• Midpoint Turning Point – she suspects Ollie and others are being brainwashed but she doesn’t understand what the purpose is

Act 3:
• Rethink everything – Suspicious, Maia breaks into the office to find where her guest friend disappeared to. She hides as Dr. Jeremy breaks in after her. Ollie breaks in on both of them to say someone is coming.
• Dr. Jeremy leads them to cover in the oblation room which is where human tissues are harvested. The other person does not see them. Maia has a psychotic break and Ollie and Dr. Jeremy take her back to her room.
• The next morning Dr. Jeremy tries to talk to Maia but Dr. Kari is keeping him busy. Dr. Kari notices the exchanged glances and invites Maia and Ollie to lunch with her and Dr. Jeremy.
• Over lunch the meal makes Maia ill. Conversation is full of coded double meanings.
• Maia tries to alert Ollie and another guest without success while avoiding the now suspicious Dr. Jeremy and spa owner, Dr. Kari
• New plan – Leave – but she is hallucinating and taken to the clinic in the spa. Dr. Jeremy gives her an antidote, so she is on her feet before Dr. Kari anticipates. Dr. Jeremy confides that his sister came here at his suggestion to boost her cancer recovery, instead she died.
• Turning Point: The spa’s euthanizing is revealed. Maia needs to escape. She looks for Ollie.
• It is costume night at the spa and Maia tries to uncover Ollie. Dr, Kari circles trying to unmask Maia. Huge failure trying to get Ollie to leave but Ollie attacks her. This exposes Maia to Dr. Kari.
• Major shift – breakout failure creates impending demise and confrontation with Dr. Kari

Act 4:
• Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict – Dr. Jeremy seeks to rescue Maia from Dr. Kari but gets knocked out. Ollie becomes surprisingly resourceful but is helping Dr. Kari. Ultimately Maia faces off against Dr. Kari in gruesome use of treatments.
• Dr. Kari tries almost successfully to recruit Maia defending that most people aren’t really alive and welcome a peaceful death. Ollie is resourceful – like she could really be brainwashed with her chemical history!
• Resolution – With Ollie’s help Maia discovers Dr. Kari’s weakness in that she’s wearing dead skin that is susceptible to some of the spa treatments. Behind Dr. Kari, Dar. Jeremy comes to and activates the spa treatment that is Dr. Kari’s weakness.
• Maia offers her a chance to live but Dr. Kari is overconfident so rejects amnesty and is nearly killed by her own vanity. In a final decision Maia reverts to making things happen and kills Dr. Kari.
• New Ways: Maia is the owner of the spa which is revamped as a new hotspot that promises celebrity youthfulness thanks to Dr. Jeremy. Maia and Jeremy have conquered their issues; Dr. Kari is dead; Ollie is the new concierge.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s Deeper Layer
Vision: Become a Writing Athlete
What I’ve learned: living the 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration Thomas Edison spoke about

Layers
• Surface Layer: Maia is a former CEO often accused of not knowing how to dig deep and get her and dirty
• Deeper Layer: Maia grew up poor – as a child she was catching and cleaning shrimp to sell at restaurant next door then helping her parents scrub down the morgue – but she scrubbed this detail form her bio and avoided grime work ever since
• Major Reveal: After being grossed out by spa procedures and death encounters, Maia aggressively uses gore against Dr. Kari.
• Influences Surface Story: Maia repelled by mud bath, fish eating cuticle, etc.
• Hints: After a fast Maia goes for the green goo in a lobster
• Changes Reality: Maia is in the Morgue chasing Dr. Kari. She knows her way around. She dispassionately uses corpses to her advantage. While fighting she reveals how she grew up and shows some tricks she learned which is how she was onto Dr.Kari’s plans early on.
Plot Layers
• Beginning: Maia is being celebrated and cringes at her childhood bio
• Inciting Incident: Maia rejects the idea of a spa with lame reasons
• Turning Point 1: Maia packs survival equipment and knockout meds for the spa
• Act 2: Ollie turns up her nose at Dr. Jeremy because he deals with dead things but Maia still seems intrigued
• Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Maia sees the truth and danger of the spa and instead of running away, she leans into it
• Act 3: Maia tries to get Ollie out. She tries to determine Dr. Jeremy’s involvement while in his gory lab
• Turning Point 3: Dr. Kari is on to Maia and tries to kill her but fails
• Act 4 Climax: Dr. Kari has held Ollie hostage, maybe killed Dr. Jeremy, but Maia is still advancing. Dr. Kari offers Maia a job even though she can’t handle anything dead. Maia rejects offer by using dead things to defeat Dr. Kari
• Resolution: Reviving Dr. Jeremy and freeing Ollie, Ollie suggests that Maia takes over the spa and reveals that she understands Maia’s past and gruesome background.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s Character Structure
Vision: Become a Writing Athlete
What I’ve learned: I find that I am not stressing about how good it is because I am not expecting things to be good yet. Also, I tend to like what I create and only find some embellishments in the AI work. That is confidence building.

Maia’s Journey
• Beginning – On top to humiliated to death
• Middle – relaxing isn’t working and she’s starting to come back to life
• End – full throttle confidence and new goals
Maia’s Full Journey
• Beginning: Managing a corporate takeover
• Inciting Incident: but gets taken over and kicked out instead
• Turning Point 1: Her friend takes her to an exclusive spa resort to relax
• Act 2: She can’t get into the spa treatments/meets a guy
• Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: starts to investigate things that don’t add up at the spa
• Act 3: fights to expose spa threatens her life
• Turning Point 3: confronts Dr. Kari in a cat and mouse game which threatens her friend Ollie as well
• Act 4 Climax: wins over Dr. Kari
• Resolution: She got her leadership mojo back/has won over Dr. Jeremy/considers taking over the spa

Dr. Kari’s Journey
• Beginning – injured then created healing protocol which she built into a spa resort
• Middle – has kept the spa’s deadly secrets until Maia’s arrival
• End – faces off with Maia in a deadly match and loses.
Dr. Kari’s Full Journey
• Beginning: nearly dies in disfiguring accident
• Inciting Incident: creates protocol that cures her
• Turning Point 1: profits from deadly spa that keeps her in tissue and creates profit
• Act 2: Maia has come to the spa and Dr. Kari sees her as a rival
• Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Dr. Kari realizes that Dr. Jeremy likes Maia so it is game on
• Act 3: Dr. Kari tries to engineer ways to overcome Maia
• Turning Point 3: Dr. Kari endangers Maia’s friend, Ollie, and her issues with Maia become physical
• Act 4 Climax: Dr. Kari fights Maia and loses
• Resolution: Dr. Kari had left a trap to get Maia but even in death her trap fails and Maia takes of Dr. Kari’s work

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s Supporting Characters
Vision: Become a Writing Athlete
What I’ve learned: Let go and let it flow because this could easily change as needed

Supporting Characters:
o Support 1: Ollie
Role: Takes Maia to spa which she embraces fully
Main Purpose: Comic relief, show contrast to Maia, absentmindedly uncovers issues
Value: Build stakes and suspense, show more of Maia’s character
o Support 2: Corporate takeover CEO
Role: show Maia’s background, wound, potential
Main Purpose: empathy to Maia
Value: empathy to Maia, demonstrates a POV echoes Dr. Kari’s
o Support 3: Dr. Kari’s assistant
Role: sounding board who is starting to “leak”
Main Purpose: to build Dr. Kari’s issues and subtext
Value: Dr. Kari treats as disposable which is dangerous because of what she/he knows
o Support 4: Spa Worker 1
Role: give spa treatments, pat answers to serious questions
Main Purpose: Concierge for her visit, first layer of the onion in Dr. Kari’s web
Value: Foil for investigation, death theme
o Support 5: Spa guest 1
Role: Maia befriends not realizing the true reason they are at the spa is to die
Main Purpose: develop the people who want death/can be convinced to die
Value: Maia’s reason to dig deeper while trying to stay connected when they say they are departing

• Background Characters:
o Spa Worker 2 – show spa works including taking unnecessary tests
o Spa Guest 1 – Maia overhears them talking that they’ve never been to a spa like this before – later their demeanor is robotically happy
o Spa Guest 2 – cynical, when you are promised the world, then the world can’t be real

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s Character Profiles Part 2
Vision: Become a Writing Athlete
What I’ve learned: I’ve never thought so much about character traits before!

Maia, Protag
• A. The High Concept – uncovers the spa’s killing for tissue business and tries to shut it down
• B. This character’s journey – from success to humiliating failure to wanting to elevate self again to doubting self to facing down evil for the sake of self and others
• C. The Actor Attractors for this character – she goes from corporate death to facing down physical death maker and gaining zest foe reentering competitive corporate world
• Character Subtext:
o Subtext Identity: Always trying to demonstrate success to hide the fact she feels like a failure
o Subtext Trait: Intelligent enough to know she’s vulnerable
o Subtext Logline: Maia is a “winner” who is riddled with flaws
o Possible Areas of Subtext: tries to fix things that aren’t broken; pretends to be modest but seeks acclaim; won’t read the press that she knows will be bad; doesn’t want to see others success; suspicious because others have greater confidence and success; communication issues
• Character Intrigue: change from relaxation to finding culprit hidden agenda
• Flaw: Maia is a “winner” who is riddled with flaws
• Values: Life and relationships and winning
• Character Dilemma: saving self and Ollie to what end since life is a failure, allowing someone else to be in charge/have a better idea, embracing flaws as strength rather than weakness, improving/applying wisdom rather than just gaining/storing knowledge

Dr. Kari, Antag
• A. The High Concept – created the spa and tissue business and drive to keep it alive and growing
• B. This character’s journey from injury to research break through to business success but can’t get acclaim because of secret tissue business and need to keep her injury healthy to facing down opposition
• C. The Actor Attractors for this character – keeping research and spa’s goal secret but this conflicts with her vanity
• Character Subtext:
o Subtext Identity: Was injured/nearly died and repaired/healed herself
o Subtext Trait: protects her work because she believes it is helping people
o Subtext Logline: Dr. Kari is a survivor who believes she knows how to fix mankind
o Possible Areas of Subtext: creating new therapies; lecturing spa personnel/spa goers/Maia; relabels things to fit her mindset – not death but release; area no one can see/vendor information/process secrets; so graceful she practically floats to hide her slimy intent
• Character Intrigue: has a secret of the business and her cure and scheme to continue (actively expanding not just waiting to defeat people trying to shut her down
• Flaw: old physical injury has injury her whole being to protect/heal it and hide the process – vain
• Values: perfection, achievement
• Character Dilemma: get Maia to join her rather than accept defeat, what will she sacrifice for her research, will she share her research to finish her cure or withhold helping others to protect her cure, idealistically will she sacrifice herself to satisfy the rules she created

Dr. Jeremy, Triangular
• A. The High Concept – under guise or working at spa is trying to uncover the truth and what happened to his sister
• B. This character’s journey – from new researcher to undercover researcher to attraction to Maia to rejecting her to protect her but it endangers her more to joining Maia in avenging sister
• C. The Actor Attractors for this character – all his desires are suppressed for a secret objective and ultimately he confronts his sister’s killer and his own death
3. Brainstorm these profile components for each character:
• Character Subtext:
o Subtext Identity: real researcher but undercover so suspicious and suppresses true emotions
o Subtext Trait: tries to be all about the science not emotions
o Subtext Logline: Dr. Jeremy is an undercover researcher who suppresses emotions
o Possible Areas of Subtext: wants to get to know Maia but pushes her away; discusses science with Dr. Kari but askes questions rather than answer and puts off her advances; spies on Dr. Kari and Maia; is a terrible liar when caught so back to science talk
• Character Intrigue: he’s undercover so his deception keeps him from getting close to Maia while he pursues answers about his sister
• Flaw: hyperfocus blinds him, anger over his sister’s death and feeling complicit so can’t forgive himself
• Values: life, cures, justice
• Character Dilemma: research vs revenge, saving Maia and Ollie vs avenging sister, forgiving himself vs trusting himself/others/beating himself up, new goals vs sworn objectives

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s Character Profiles Part 1
Vision: Become a Writing Athlete
What I’ve learned: I can change what doesn’t work

Maia, Protag
• A. The High Concept – uncovers the spa’s killing for tissue business and tries to shut it down
• B. This character’s journey – from success to humiliating failure to wanting to elevate self again to doubting self to facing down evil for the sake of self and others
• C. The Actor Attractors for this character – she goes from corporate death to facing down physical death maker and gaining zest foe reentering competitive corporate world
1. Role in the Story: Protag who was expelled from her company drops to despair when forced relation with friend awakens skills and need to save life and eliminate evil
2. Age range and Description: 40’s – streamlined
3. Core Traits: curious/suspicious, can fix things/creative problem solver, squeamish, intelligent, likes teams even at expense of taking her own credit
4. Motivation; Want/Need: wants to get back on top but needs a new product/approach/team
5. Wound: Never felt good enough so being kicked out seems to confirm her worst fears
6. Likability: Her goofy, fun-loving friend is looking after her, she has a sense of humor
Relatability: she’s flirting and rejected, simple relaxation evades her
Empathy: she has had a major life failure, life and the spa are confusing her, broken so fixing things brings out the best in her

Dr. Kari, Antag
• A. The High Concept – created the spa and tissue business and drive to keep it alive and growing
• B. This character’s journey from injury to research break through to business success but can’t get acclaim because of secret tissue business and need to keep her injury healthy to facing down opposition
• C. The Actor Attractors for this character – keeping research and spa’s goal secret but this conflicts with her vanity
1. Role in the Story: Created a perfect spa after dealing with her medical injuries but then exploits guests for research/income/maintaining her façade then must eliminate people trying to stop her
2. Age range and Description: ageless beyond plastic surgery – gracefulness personified
3. Core Traits: Manipulative/controlling, deceptive, angry, smooth talker
4. Motivation; Want/Need: wants to keep spa going because she needs the tissues to keep her ageless and cure injury
5. Wound: after her accident science was constricted in how to cure her and shunned her for her gruesome proposals that she found actually worked
6. Likability: she seems to really care about her guests, her goals seem so pure
Relatability: she’s flirting and rejected, her staff drive her crazy
Empathy: she’s had a major physical injury

 
Dr. Jeremy, Triangular
• A. The High Concept – under guise or working at spa is trying to uncover the truth and what happened to his sister
• B. This character’s journey – from new researcher to undercover researcher to attraction to Maia to rejecting her to protect her but it endangers her more to joining Maia in avenging sister
• C. The Actor Attractors for this character – all his desires are suppressed for a secret objective and ultimately he confronts his sister’s killer and his own death
1. Role in the Story: He’s attracted to Maia yet pursued by Dr Kari and his key is to complete his research and achieve his hidden objective
2. Age range and Description: 40’s to 50’s – a tad rugged, buttoned-up, gruff
3. Core Traits: easily distracted, introvert/secretive/few words, bookishly intelligent
4. Motivation; Want/Need: wants to discover truth about sister and avenge her but needs to keep the research profile and Dr Kari has actually helped him advance his work
5. Wound: sister was killed at spa where he suggested she go because he couldn’t heel her
6. Likability: strong protective streak, intelligent
Relatability: confused on how to react to life issues
Empathy: hidden wound

• This reply was modified 11 months, 3 weeks ago by  Pam Ewing.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s Audience Connection to Characters
Vision: Become a Writing Athlete
What I’ve learned: Mostly trying to shove down fear and move forward – I’m thinking that I can dream up layers but I’m hoping for economy of skilled writing to incorporate them all!

Protagonist
• Likability: Her goofy, fun-loving friend is looking after her, she has a sense of humor
• Relatability: she’s flirting and rejected, simple relaxation evades her
• Empathy: she has had a major life failure, life and the spa are confusing her, broken so fixing things brings out the best in her
Antagonist
• Likability: she seems to really care about her guests, her goals seem so pure
• Relatability: she’s flirting and rejected, her staff drive her crazy
• Empathy: she’s had a major physical injury

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s Character Intrigue
Vision: Become a Writing Athlete
What I’ve learned: Focus first, then go broad, then revise, then let go

• Character Name: Maia
• Role: Protagonist
• Competition: although she might not even be conscious of it herself, she is in competition with everyone in order to feel better about herself
• Secret Identity: She told Ollie that she wants to remain anonymous, although she keeps hoping to be recognized
• How subtext may show up: people mistake her for someone mundane; she’s flattered when Dr. Kari recognizes her; she keeps trying to play the “Don’t you know who I am card”; her competitiveness comes out during spa relaxation in screaming at herself

• Character Name: Dr. Kari
• Role: Antagonist
• Hidden agendas: her tissue business/recruit Maia/romance Dr. Jeremy
• Unspoken Wound: she was injured and healed herself but the emotional scars remain
• How subtext may show up: She gets triggered when accidentally reminded of injury; her justification for her business can’t be questioned or fully explained; her choices don’t always make sense; some spa treatments seem unreasonably harsh

• Character Name: Dr. Jeremy
• Role: Triangular character
• Secret Identity: spy (for company, FBI, or to better his own research) working for Dr. Kari is under false pretenses which also keeps him from connecting with Dr. Kari or Maia even though he might benefit from the relationship(s)
• How subtext may show up: Coldly playing off Dr. Kari and Maia and his research; having alone time that he can’t explain; being secretive about his research

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s Character Subtext

Vision: Become a Writing Athlete

What I've learned: Slogging thru with faith it will find the root of the characters

With your example movie, give us the following answers for the character with the most subtext:

• Movie Title: Game Night

• Character Name: Max/Jason Bateman

• Subtext Identity: Gamer/Winner

• Subtext Trait: Measures life thru games

• Subtext Logline: Need to win at games because always loses to brother

• Possible Areas of Subtext:

For your two leads, brainstorm these answers:

• Character Name: Maia

• Subtext Identity: Always trying to demonstrate success to hide the fact she feels like a failure

• Subtext Trait: Intelligent enough to know she’s vulnerable

• Subtext Logline: Maia is a “winner” who is riddled with flaws

• Possible Areas of Subtext: tries to fix things that aren’t broken; pretends to be modest but seeks acclaim; won’t read the press that she knows will be bad; doesn’t want to see others success; suspicious because others have greater confidence and success; communication issues

• Character Name: Dr. Kari

• Subtext Identity: Was injured/nearly died and repaired/healed herself

• Subtext Trait: protects her work because she believes it is helping people

• Subtext Logline: Dr. Kari is a survivor who believes she knows how to fix mankind

• Possible Areas of Subtext: creating new therapies; lecturing spa personnel/spa goers/Maia; relabels things to fit her mindset – not death but release; area no one can see/vendor information/process secrets; so graceful she practically floats to hide her slimy intent

• Character Name: Dr. Jeremy

• Subtext Identity: real researcher but undercover so suspicious and suppresses true emotions

• Subtext Trait: tries to be all about the science not emotions

• Subtext Logline: Dr. Jeremy is an undercover researcher who suppresses emotions

• Possible Areas of Subtext: wants to get to know Maia but pushes her away; discusses science with Dr. Kari but asks questions rather than answer and puts off her advances; spies on Dr. Kari and Maia; is a terrible liar when caught so back to science talk

• This reply was modified 11 months, 4 weeks ago by  Pam Ewing.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s Actor Attractors

Vision: Become a Writing Athlete

What I've learned: This stumped me. But eventually I got myself to just move on and believe that they characters will blossom with a little more plot and tending.

Lead Character Name: Maia

Role: Protagonist

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
Embraces life and death issues with comedy, action, problem solving, coming out on top

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
She has the longest journey from success to utter humiliation to recovery through facing off against evil and even being tempted to change her world views

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?
Risking more humiliation she investigates a perfectly serene situation

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
After showing her expertise and announcing the acquisition of her biggest competitor, during the announcement the roles reverse and she’s ousted by an angel investor who backs her vanquished competitor

5. What could be this character’s emotional range
Major leader and power player to defeated and confused to trying to support her friend to trying to embrace rebuilding herself then investigating mystery and regaining confidence by trying to take down the evil antagonist who even offers a quick way to get back on top through compromises she’s accused of accepting before

6. What subtext can the actor play?
Making hard choices for self-serving vs other-serving reasons. Living out the humor of the situation without seeing it. Exploring the challenges of life vs giving up.

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?
With Villian, Dr. Kari. With best friend, Ollie. With romantic potential in Dr. Jeremy. Confronting herself – her goals vs reality vs best intentions vs expediency and profit

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?
Through work – when relaxing she is a fake self. She find new comfort in physical confrontation. She is forced to ask new questions and not take pat answers.

9. What could make this character special and unique?
She clings to her reputation which was based on the PR needs of the company more than reality. She finds something real in herself that allows her to drop the façade and be comfortable and successful on her own terms in her own skin with her own north star.

Lead Character Name: Dr. Kari

Role: Antagonist

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
Dr. Kari presents one face to the world but is something completely frightening born of wickedness. She has faced the functional answers to questions most people don’t consider because she has had to overcome death and decided life is only worth living for your own profit. She would like to have a legacy by finding disciples, like Maia.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
She has justification for her actions from her painful backstory and taking the wrong lessons from it.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?
She is a manipulator making people choose death over live. She is trying to seduce Dr. Jeremy. When she discovers that Maia has learned part of her secrets she campaigns to get Maia on her side when she could have killed her.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
Dr. Kari is smart and innovative but secretive because the world just doesn’t understand her.

5. What could be this character’s emotional range?
The appearance of modesty and graciousness hiding ruthless intelligence. Ultimately she won’t even let someone else defeat her, preferring to engineer her own demise. Magnanimous in death or is it a trap?

6. What subtext can the actor play?
She always a step ahead in understanding a situation and nearly invisible control. She is likeable and intelligent without needing to draw attention to herself – subtle.

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?
With Maia she feels that she has met a disciple who is in a weakened state. She pushes but she tries not to control because she wants a follower not a slave.
With Dr. Jeremy she sees love potential but she does not see it as a relationship of equals.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?
As she explains her philosophies, she betrays her deeper agenda. Her true vanity is exposed in her treatments.

9. What could make this character special and unique?
She is a consumed evil genius and yet her evil work actually serves some good purposes and profitable medical needs. She is a match to Maia’s ambitions and success but in a different way. She has embraced the need to be involved in the grubby tissue business to serve higher purposes, her own first and also her clients’.

Lead Character Name: Dr. Jeremy

Role: Love interest with his own secrets

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
Two women desire him. The character is smart and thinks his secret background will protect him. He gets distracted but is perhaps overly confident in his ability to overcome.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
He prefers Maia but succumbs to Dr. Kari and pushes both women second to his research. His reality is in the shadows so no one knows if he is trustworthy

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?
He is found researching Dr. Kari and putting of Maia though they really seem to click. In the in final confrontation of Maia and Dr. Kari, his FBI credentials are revealed to Maia needs to rescue him as well as Ollie.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
He has a meet cute with Maia and rejects her even though Dr. Kari is not involved.

5. What could be this character’s emotional range?
Over confident, intelligent, expert in things he seems to fumble, capable of leading or following, lacking the depth of understanding of the nuances of life vs death preferring more black and white.

6. What subtext can the actor play?
Who does he really like? What is his real objective? Is he law enforcement or a tissue competitor or the researcher he claims? How can his true intentions be revealed?

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?
With Maia they connect yet he continues to reject him.
With Dr. Kari he plays the dutiful researcher who hints that he could be interested in her.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?
His actions are contained and his actions appear contrary so he seems duplicitous.

9. What could make this character special and unique?
He sees the rejection of Maia as her protection. His anger at her is because he doesn’t want to be exposed. His actions to push Maia away actually leads her to uncover secrets he’s been trying to uncover. Hence, he follows her trying not to let Dr. Kari know.

Lead Character Name: Ollie

Role: Maia’s best friend

Ollie is comic relief who often states the truth in a way that seems ridiculous or is resourceful only because she thinks so differently than others. Even though Maia must rescue her in the end, it is only because she rushes to defend Maia and ends up in a trap set for Dr. Kari.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s Actor Attractors for “Game Night” Dark Comedy

Vision: Become a Writing Athlete

What I've learned: Not just fresh eyes but “actor-vision” – In my chosen dark comedy actors don’t really go against type – just embellish

“Game Night” – Jason Bateman

1. Why would an actor want to be known for role?
He’s the linchpin of their group/movie – smart, inventive, daring but always seems to be out-done

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in the movie?
Central to unique action situations and dialogue

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead takes in the movie?
Forward motion to save brother despite being shot by wife, breaks into neighbor’s computer, goes to party to find the egg, figures out actions to take even though others have better ideas

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
At a bar trivia night, as leader of his team, he stands and Death is super imposed on his forehead, he orders water for his team and booze for competitors, falls in love by answering the right trivia

5. What could be this character’s emotional range
Skillful, changing targets, with subtle humor, is loyalty to others or the games

6. What subtext can the actor play?
Supportive while irked – pushing through danger when out of control

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?
With his brother he is always 2nd but he puts his brother first —
With his wife she really has the upper hand

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?
Through the games they play, ie he proposes through a game

9. What could make this character special and unique?
Honestly I see it as Jason Bateman’s unique voice. Maybe not a stretch for him so much as a good vehicle.

10. Scene: He figures out how to save brother. He tells his wife his “crazy” idea and she reminds him that it has been done. He tells her how to knock out gunman thru charades but idea doesn’t work, then she has better idea. His idea to board the plane just lands him in a fight then she follows his idea with success and saves his life. He proclaims that he now wants to have a baby because their child will be a winner. Hi brother pretends to have engineered the night’s events for lessons on life.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s Genre Conventions

Vision: Become a Writing Athlete

What I've learned: testing, picking and choosing, and planning moments of surprise for the more horrific

Title: The Last Resort

Concept: Ousted CEO goes to resort spa with friend only to discover it euthanizes “guests”

Genre: Dark/Black Comedy

Genre Conventions Comedy and Horror

Comedy

• PURPOSE: Maia is a Fish Out of water after her humiliating company ousting and stuck in a resort spa with her ditzy friend, Ollie.

• INCONGRUENCE: Ollie causes no end of brain-frying suggestions so Maia tries to go it alone on some treatments that end up not being as advertised. Along the way she meets a few people who don’t seem to belong but seem intent on staying.

• MECHANICS OF COMEDY: Maia’s every avenue turns into disaster even when trying to flirt with the handsome Dr. Jeremy who seemed to robotically reject her. Perhaps her problems allow her to see the evil that pervades and threatens everyone’s mortality. All roads lead to Dr. Kari.

• COMEDIC PROTAGONIST(S): Ever the straight-ma, Maia tries to convince Ollie to leave and finds her friend has been brainwashed.

• STRONG STORY: Maia uses business acumen to reverse engineer the evil production of dead bodies that feed Dr. Kari’s tissue empire.

Horror

• PURPOSE: Will Maia be able to escape, rescue Ollie and maybe get Dr. Jeremy to help?

• ISOLATION: Finding no way to communicate with the outside world, Maia is face to face with Dr. Kari but pretends to be brainwashed and in the wrong therapeutic area. Dr. Kari seems to buy it but both are on alert to the other.

• DEATH: Maia takes precautions against Dr. Kari who has sabotaged her spa therapies to kill her.

• MONSTER / VILLAIN: Dr. Kari is fascinated with how cadaver tissue can rejuvenate and has a list of people who don’t ask questions in need of her products.

• HIGH TENSION: Ollie even tries to kill Maia. Dr. Jeremy tries to kill Maia. But she has an annoying howl that is able to break through the brain fog – or some other ability to escape.

• DEPARTURE FROM REALITY: The whole spa is idyllic and set on a clifftop. One of the therapies is virtual reality simulations to help people cure their past. Although Maia stumbles into someone else’s simulation and comically tries to play along.

• MORAL STATEMENT: One of the issues is should we take our life when we are tired of life’s issues? Should our bodies be ours to dispose of or used to rejuvenate who we choose? Is the financial motivation to take a life to be exploited?

Genre conventions = Horror and Comedy

Structure = Act 1:

• Opening – Maia dreams of being awarded as CEO overseeing a successful acquisition

• Inciting Incident – but instead ends in public humiliation and banishment then she’s awaken by Ollie

• Turning Point – Ollie is whisking her defeated friend off to a secretive spa that promises to fulfill your every last desire

Act 2:

• New plan – after seeing promising Dr. Jeremy and the lux accommodations, Maia plans to embrace spa-ness life

• Plan in action – she attempts different therapies and meeting other guests but things just don’t add up and she seems to constantly mess up relaxation

• Midpoint Turning Point – she realizes the Ollie and others are being brainwashed to die

Act 3:

• Rethink everything – Maia tries to alert Ollie and another guest without success while avoiding the now suspicious Dr. Jeremy and spa owner, Dr. Kari

• New plan – break out but Ollie wants to stay and Dr. Jeremy is on Dr. Kari’s evil side

• Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift – breakout failure creates impending demise and confrontation with Dr. Kari

Act 4:

• Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict – Dr. Jeremy seeks to help but gets knocked out. Ollie becomes surprisingly resourceful but ultimately Maia faces off against Dr. Kari

• Resolution – Maia is the owner of the spa which is revamped as a new hotspot that promises celebrity youthfulness thanks to Dr. Jeremy

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s 4 Act Transformational Structure
Vision: Become a Writing Athlete
What I've learned: That being sick and taking Dayquil/Nyquil is not my creative processes – I was hoping for creative delirium

Genre = Black Comedy

Concept = Maia, an ousted CEO with chip on her shoulder goes to a spa with her hapless friend, Ollie, only to discover that it is a euthanasia “spa” that won’t let anyone escape

Lead Characters =
Protagonist = Maia – who was recently forced to sell her company and is looking for her next incarnation

Antagonist = Dr. Kari – Owns a euthanasia “spa” and black market businesses is threatened by the new guest, Maia, who has eyes for her new research doctor

Triangle Character = Character: Dr. Jeremy – After accepting a too-good-to-be-true business offer from Dr. Kari to finish his longevity research, he meets and woos Maia while also dodging advances from his new boss, Dr. Kari

Additional Character = Maia’s hapless friend Ollie who selected the spa and wants to stay

Old Ways = Maia is afraid of failure and letting go of control. She hides her insecurities behind a facade of competence.

New Ways = Maia learns to embrace vulnerability and accept help from others. She discovers the value of human connection and living in the moment.

Transformational Journey =

Internal Journey:

• From: Emotionally numb, afraid of failure, clinging to control, delegating and blaming

• To: Accepting vulnerability, embracing the unknown, finding joy in the present, hands on.

External Journey:

• From: Luxurious spa vacation with a friend.

• To: A desperate fight for survival, a gruesome and hilarious escape with unlikely allies.

Act 1:

• Opening – Maia dreams of being awarded as CEO overseeing a successful acquisition

• Inciting Incident – but instead ends in public humiliation and banishment then she’s awaken by Ollie

• Turning Point – Ollie is whisking her defeated friend off to a secretive spa that promises to fulfill your every last desire

Act 2:

• New plan – after seeing promising Dr. Jeremy and the lux accommodations, Maia plans to embrace spa-ness

• Plan in action – she attempts different therapies and meeting other guests but things just don’t add up

• Midpoint Turning Point – she realizes the Ollie and others are being brainwashed to die

Act 3:

• Rethink everything – Maia tries to alert Ollie and another guest without success while avoiding the now suspicious Dr. Jeremy and spa owner, Dr. Kari

• New plan – break out

• Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift – breakout failure creates impending demise and confrontation with Dr. Kari

Act 4:

• Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict – Dr. Jeremy seeks to help but gets knocked out. Ollie becomes surprisingly resourceful but ultimately Maia faces off against Dr. Kari

• Resolution – Maia is the owner of the spa which is revamped as a new hotspot that promises celebrity youthfulness thanks to Dr. Jeremy

• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  Pam Ewing.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing’s Subtext Plot

Vision: Become a Writing Athlete
What I've learned: Just making myself do it and trust I can find improvements in the AI responses

Tell us your concept and your choice of one or two of these Subtext Plots.
• Layering – as the nature of the spa is uncovered the characters expose their layers in response
• A Major Cover Up – the spa has a dark, life-threatening agenda

• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  Pam Ewing.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam's Transformation Journey

Arc Beginning: Cynical, controlling others but justifies herself, untrusting, trying create a new future
Arc Ending: skeptically partnering with others, laughs at her old controls, hopeful good things will happen

Internal Journey: trusting her girlfriend to pick a spa to vacation together at still living on her past laurels
External Journey: takes control to escape but fails and must work with others

Old Ways: control and command and call it group work, stuff feelings and desires, expects rejection
New Ways: willing to fight for personal goal not business goal, willing to risk rejection, listens to others and let’s them lead

• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  Pam Ewing.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam’s Intentional Characters
Vision: Become a Writing Athlete
What I've learned: I switched things up because I wanted more drama economy

Character: Maia
Logline: After selling her company, Maia talked into visiting spa to look for her next incarnation not realizing she will be fighting for her life
Unique: driven in business and now at loose ends, loyal, skeptical, good at games

Character: Dr. Kari
Logline: Owns a euthanasia “spa” and black market businesses is threatened by the new guest, Maia, who has eyes for her new research doctor
Unique: brilliant, manipulative, must-win, plays to the worst in people by acting angelic

Character: Dr. Brant
Logline: After accepting a too-good-to-be-true business offer from Dr. Kari to finish his longevity research, he meets and woos Maia while also dodging advances from his new boss, Dr. Kari
Unique: enthusiastic, creative, naive, focused

• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  Pam Ewing.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing’s Title, Concept, and Character Structure!
Vision: Become a Writing Athlete
What I;ve learned: By learning and applying all these different ways to approach a script it is liberating from the fear of a dry creative well. (and I’m trying to suspend fear of indecision from too many options!)

Title: “The Last Resort” (work in progress – How about “Eudaimonia Perfected”, “Ultimate Escape”?)
Genre: Dark Comedy
Concept: To celebrate the wildly profitable sale of her company, a woman takes her best friend to an exclusive resort but soon discovers it is an Assisted Death facility with a 100% “success” rate and no escapes

Character Structure: Dramatic Structure

• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  Pam Ewing.
• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  Pam Ewing.

[Pam Ewing]

With Fresh Eyes. Make Discomfort my partner. We’ve all heard before make change things need to change – but refigured it as new material – How can I make changes everyday – What can be different – Where can I find something new – When is now – Who is me a personal motto/badge of courage.

[Pam Ewing]

I’m Pam. I used to write a lot – maybe 20 TV scripts. Even won a contest years ago. I feel like I’ve been swimming in a tar pit for years getting very little done trying to finish feature scripts.

I had an acute medical issue years ago, even had a life after death experience. I had a lot of fun in the hospital – maybe I just like people waiting on me. But afterward has been almost unbelievable calamity after calamity. One therapist suggested I have PTSD. I say I’m swimming in a tar pit.

I always hope to learn but also accomplish. I find having others around (even remotely) is inspiring. I always hope for the breakthroughs because I believe I have something worthwhile that writing can break loose.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  Pam Ewing.

[Pam Ewing]

I agree

[Pam Ewing]

Structure Solutions – Pam Ewing

Vision: Professional. Produced. Prolific. Popular (as in my writing is popular – not expecting to be more likeable!)

Learned: how unwieldy my script is without fixing the holes.

The first act is a snooze so I jazzed it up but it will need more. I figured out a better action scene toward the end.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing Finishing Act 3

Vision: Professional. Produced. Prolific. Popular

What I learned is how slow And choppy I am. But I am accepting where I am and just moving on. Two giant shadows just flew overhead and I am counting them as eagles signaling freedom.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing Continuing Act 3

Vision: Professional. Produced. Prolific. Popular

Learned: really like the quote for this lesson because it says I am on common ground in my pursuit. Did find a-middle-of-the-story plot point resolution that I like.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing Began Act 3

Vision: Professional. Produced. Prolific. Popular

Learned/Learning/Accepting: There are a lot of flaws in me and in my writing/non-writing practice.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing Completed Act 2

Vision: Professional. Produced. Prolific. Popular.

Learned: Behind but forgiving myself and slogging through quicksand or a tar pit. I like the thinking about dialogue and issue resolution more than writing it.

[Pam Ewing]

Vision: Professional. Produced. Prolific. Popular

Fourth of July weekend is a chance to catchup and declare myself free of any negative emotions. I realize how much I loved the old movies of the 1940s where the words were so clever – letting that go so I can come current and also let the words come later.

[Pam Ewing]

Vision: Professional. Produced. Prolific. Popular.

My only thought at this point is how glad I am that I don’t need to share my work!

[Pam Ewing]

Vision: Professional. Produced. Prolific. Popular

It is a life lesson for me to discipline myself to do the assignment – not veer off into things that amuse me alone.

[Pam Ewing]

Vision: Professional. Produced. Prolific. Popular

Got sick. Got depressed. Wallowed in it – of course! Decided I would not be ruled by my emotions so just to get this done. I want to put in the time and effort to learn the lessons and have them available to apply to any future writing or life.

[Pam Ewing]

Vision: Professional. Produced. Prolific. Popular (as in my writing is popular – not expecting to be more likeable!)

Slowed down by getting sick but that is good because I have to rely more on the assignments and just dumb it down to get it down on the page. Trying to speed up the speed writing prevents over thinking and allows me to forgive my ‘shame/self-blame’ for falling behind (again).

[Pam Ewing]

My Vision: Professional. Produced. Prolific. Popular.

What I learned from doing this assignment is how to sneak up on my critical/lazy/excuse-laden self.

[Pam Ewing]

My Vision: Professional. Produced. Prolific. Popular.

Just getting started writing but confident I can address any holes.

Pam

Pam.ewing1@yahoo.com

[Pam Ewing]

Anyone want to partner up?

Title: <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Staking Claim

Written By: Pam Ewing

Email: pam.ewing1@yahoo.com

Genre: RomCom

Concept: Bickering couple pursue wife’s inheritance in Transylvania with the hope of a needed fortune

[Pam Ewing]

Hi. My Name is Pam Ewing. Although I’ve done over a dozen scripts, they are mostly sitcom pilots and specs. First time in horror. Always avoided going to horror movies on the big scream/screen because of having nightmares. But lately there have been a lot of great horror that I liked – The Hunt, Ready or Not, Get Out, etc. SO I want in on horror. No plot yet – but I’m going to sleep on it. I am working on a rom com that can have horror moments that I hope to learn here. Just bumped into one of my 13 step-siblings after decades! His father was pure evel so maybe some inspiration there.

[Pam Ewing]

I agree to the terms of the Confidentiality Agreement

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing’s Fascinating Scene Outlines!

My Vision: Professional. Produced. Prolific. Popular.

What I learned: I like the specifics of this assignment because it forces me try to elevate not just try to communicate

Scene Arc: Demonstrating current life to poverty and need to pursue inheritance.

1. INT. DINING ROOM – NIGHT

· Beginning: Happy family meal Natalie, husband and Natalie’s mother; with creepy bright “umbrella” décor

· Middle: Everyone is frustrated with Natalie and she can’t make a simple decision; Natalie gets an “umbrella” necklace from her mom; Natalie’s husband walks away for business call that sounds more like an affair

· Ending: Husband angry; Natalie’s new necklace has scratched her and caused her to bleed but instead of treating the bleed, her mom bids them goodbye and turns to face a shadow behind her

2. INT. DINING ROOM – NIGHT

· Beginning: Mother clears table and fearlessly talks to shadow; bright “umbrella” décor darkens

· Middle: Shadow taunts that Natalie is weak/indecisive, bleeds the necklace, and will never live up to her birthright

· Ending: Mother shows fear, makes a signature gesture and dies; shadow is not revealed

3. EXT. FUNERAL – DAY

· Beginning: people leaving small funeral; Natalie crying without husband; “umbrellas”

· Middle: Husband hangs up phone and approaches Natalie while shaking handles/schmoozing

· Ending: Natalie stiffens and turns away from husband as he tries to comfort her she makes a signature gesture; shadow attends from a distance

4. INT. ATTORNEY’S OFFICE – DAY

· Beginning: Natalie and husband bickering over how much might go to husband’s failing business and how she might donate to honor her mother

· Middle: attorney says no money only potential inheritance that must be claimed in Transylvania

· Ending: Natalie says that since no money she’s divorcing husband

Scene Arc: Everyone attempts courage and hope

5. INT. AIRPLANE – DAY

· Beginning: Natalie struggles onto airplane in coach but tries to show courage when she sees husband in first class

· Middle: she goes to confront husband and is prevented by a stewardess, husband hears her complaints and comes back to resolve situation by charming stewardess; he accuses her of being too weak to work things out and argue in front of opening and closing restroom doors; Natalie’s anger causes sudden turbulence

· Ending: He offers to exchange seats but she’s really angry and accuses him of trying to go after her inheritance when and everyone needs to return to their seats

6. EXT. ROMANIAN AIRPORT – DAY — or bus to Transylvania area

· Beginning: Natalie sees husband awaiting for her but she runs to the instead her frustration and being here awakens her powers makes something unusual to happen

· Middle: Her husband is on the same bus; Meets bus driver who tells her about the ??? and shows them the scenery

· Ending: Henchman observes supernatural from Natalie as she arrives

7. INT. HOTEL LOBBY – DAY

· Beginning: Natalie gets best room

· Middle: Natalie and husband argue and the clerk assumes they are together and puts them in same suite – ???

· Ending: Natalie and husband argue all the way to their room when they discover it is the same – ???

Scene Arc: Natalie builds connections with people and the place

8. EXT. LOCAL MARKET – DAY

· Beginning: Natalie wanders the market; her necklace is seen by a vendor giving a fearful response;

· Middle: A wave of gossip fills the market; Natalie is approached by a gypsy who Natalie assumes is a tourist must do but gypsy has weird prediction/information; Natalie identifies where she needs to go for filing for inheritance

· Ending: Natalie is amused by Gypsy’s predictions; shadowed by henchman; something symbolic happen

9. INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT

· Beginning: Natalie and husband end up at the same restaurant, villagers are overly attentive to Natalie

· Middle: Vlad enters and sits with Natalie

· Ending: Vlad and Natalie hit it off; Natalie has a power display but brushes it off

10. EXT. SIDEWALK – NIGHT

· Beginning: Vlad walks Natalie home with ill intent but husband follows

· Middle: Natalie makes an uncharacteristic pass at Vlad

· Ending: Vlad says she’ll dream of him; husband teases her that she came on too strong

Scene Arc: Husband keeps messing up Natalie/Vlad romance

11. INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT

· Beginning: Natalie is happy; dances around room

· Middle: settles into bed and does dream of Vlad and hums

· Ending: – a vampy song and dance comparing trench coat to Vlad’s cape

12. EXT. NATALIE’S HOTEL – NIGHT

· Beginning: Outside Natalie’s balcony Vlad lurks

· Middle: As if attuned to Natalie’s dream he prepares for his entrance and is confused by her upbeat humming

· Ending: Husband also lurks and scares Vlad away along with a flurry of bats

13. INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT

· Beginning: Husband wakes Natalie from her dream; tries to expose Vlad and gets blamed

· Middle: Natalie and husband have heated fight and almost kiss but husband won’t say why he wants her so

· Ending: Husband sleeps on floor

14. EXT. NATALIE’S HOTEL – NIGHT

· Beginning: Henchman laughs at Vlad’s failure

· Middle: Vlad lands by henchman and kills him

· Ending: Another henchman steps in showing appreciation/question/protection about Natalie

Scene Arc: Hunting for inheritance

15. INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY

· Beginning: Happy Natalie steps over sleeping husband to get on with her quest

· Middle: Natalie sings song from dream and has a power event

· Ending: Natalie steps on sunny balcony and gets a sting from sunlight

16. EXT. MARKET – DAY

· Beginning: Natalie walks to town hall; gypsy tries to warn Natalie that she got the prediction wrong

· Middle: Town Hall suddenly closes; Natalie is henchman whispers something to her and hands her an invite

· Ending: Husband was racing to catch Natalie and follows her leaving with henchman; gypsy observes and frets

17. INT. TOWN HALL – DAY

· Beginning: Natalie overcome by Vlad’s castle; Natalie sees heirlooms and a power triggers and she realizes it is her power; before Vlad arrives the henchman makes a comment about Natalie’s guardian

· Middle: Vlad enters and steers her away from the heirlooms and away from windows

· Ending: Henchman informs Vlad of visitor but signals Natalie that maybe he is on her side

Scene Arc: Vlad shows his true intent

18. EXT. VLAD’S CASTLE – DAY

· Beginning: Husband lurks outside and finds way into castle where he uncovers “umbrellas” and realizes that Natalie doesn’t know what she’s gotten into

· Middle: husband decides to leave/run

· Ending: henchman captures husband and puts him in real torture dungeon

19. INT. VLAD’S CASTLE – DAY

· Beginning: Vlad wines and dines Natalie thinking he has the upper hand but she’s at least partially onto him and asks challenging questions

· Middle: In his over confidence Vlad accidently lets Natalie’s inheritance slip

· Ending: Vlad shows his power but even in an initial attempt to focus her power she is able to defend herself

20. EXT. VLAD’S CASTLE – DAY

· Beginning: Vlad and Natalie tamely spare and he offers to join forces

· Middle: Natalie rejects him with a superior show of power

· Ending: Vlad shows her that he has her husband captive

Natalie has to fight for her life and her husband’s life

21. INT. VLAD’S TORTURE ROOM – DAY

· Beginning: Natalie is angry with her husband; husband tries to tell her that he’s figured out what’s going on; Vlad gives Natalie a choice; she pretends to be interested in bondage situations

· Middle: She convinces Vlad to try out a torture device; then works on freeing husband

· Ending: Vlad escapes and stops them from leaving

22. INT. VLAD’S TORTURE ROOM – NIGHT

· Beginning: Natalie is now bound as well; she argues with husband

· Middle: husband admits why he cares about her

· Ending: Instead of responding she disappears

22. INT. VLAD’S CASTLE – NIGHT

· Beginning: Natalie seeks out Vlad as he prepares to kill her

· Middle: Natalie’s attempt to surprise and stop Vlad is thwarted; an all out battle begins; henchman frees husband and tells him why

· Ending: Vlad recites his history and why he is destined to win but something he says makes Natalie more confident that she will prevail

23. EXT. VLADS’ CASTLE – DAWN

· Beginning: Husband is back outside; he stumbles across a silver stake

· Middle: husband takes stake inside to fight Vlad

· Ending: Vlad is maneuvering Natalie into the morning sunlight assuming that she has fully transitioned and will be killed by the light

24. INT. VLADS’ CASTLE – DAWN

· Beginning: Natalie is invisible in the streaming light; dead or alive; husband runs to her with the silver stake

· Middle: Natalie is on the floor in a heap as Vlad brags over his victory; husband lunges at Vlad with silver stake and stabs him

· Ending: Vlad slumps

Scene Arc: all is resolved

25. INT/EXT. LOCATION – DAY/NIGHT

· Beginning: husband leaves hotel, Natalie follows,

· Middle: Natalie sees gypsy and goes over to talk to her; gypsy is confused but thankful; Natalie explains that she is the vampire born in the morning so can’t be killed by light;

· Ending: henchman oversees Vlad at work in the shadows of a tourist store; Natalie and husband bicker but laugh it off and kiss

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing’s Scene Requirements!

My Vision: Professional. Produced. Prolific. Popular.

What I learned: The fight for disciplined writing

Scene Arc: Demonstrating current life to poverty and need to pursue inheritance.

INT. DINING ROOM – NIGHT

Natalie and husband share time with her mother; gets necklace; we see the creepy décor made creepier with bright paint.

Essence: mother asks Natalie for help and Natalie is inefficient and can’t make a decision on her own.

Conflict: Husband emotionally absent then on phone; Natalie frustrated can’t do anything; Mother is pushy.

Subtext: no supportive connections

Hope/fear: Natalie keeps trying to be perfect.

INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

Mother confronts shadow and dies

Essence: Mother knows the end is near and begs for time

Conflict: shadow teases that Mother failed with Natalie then kills her

Subtext: Danger and lack of defense

Hope/fear: Hope Natalie and Mother get more chances

EXT. FUNERAL – DAY

Natalie is overcome with grief

Essence: Husband arrives late and schmoozes way to Natalie

Conflict: Natalie brushes off husband’s comfort

Subtext: loneliness begets loneliness

Hope/fear: Will Natalie suffer same fate as her mother

INT. ATTORNEY’S OFFICE – DAY

Meeting with attorney re mother’s death

Essence: no money but maybe in the inheritance

Conflict: Natalie tells husband it’s over before he can end it with her; his business is in trouble anyway

Subtext: things get worse without money

Hope/fear: inheritance will be worthwhile

Scene Arc: Everyone attempts courage and hope

INT. AIRPLANE – DAY

Husband gets the first class seat

Essence: Natalie has used all her gumption to do this and her husband is there with a first class ticket

Conflict: Natalie is humiliated and fascinated by her husband’s confident demeanor

Subtext: Natalie needs to find her confidence in herself

Hope/fear: Hope for success on trip but husband drains her

EXT. TRANSYLVANIA AIRPORT – DAY

Natalie flustered/gets a tail/husband has new friends

Essence: Natalie finds a kinship there; Natalie’s powers appear but can be explained away; husband’s schmoozing fails for the first time

Conflict: Competition with Natalie and Husband

Subtext: Natalie belongs

Hope/fear: Maybe things will work out for Natalie

INT. HOTEL LOBBY – DAY

Natalie checks in while husband finds his room no longer available

Essence: Natalie welcomed and husband has troubles

Conflict: Competition with Natalie and Husband

Subtext: Natalie feels she has the upper hand and helps husband out

Hope/fear: Natalie’s new connections and growing confidence will pay off

Scene Arc: Natalie builds connections with people and the place

EXT. LOCAL MARKET – DAY

Natalie shops/meets gypsy/monitored by henchmen

Essence: connecting with the culture builds Natalie’s confidence

Conflict: Henchmen shadow her and people cower

Subtext: Something is not to be trusted

Hope/fear: Natalie doubts but hopes gypsy’s good prediction

INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Natalie meets Vlad/plays Vlad off husband

Essence: Vlad charms the pants off Natalie but doesn’t recognize that she her powers are spiked around him

Conflict: Husband suspects Vlad; Natalie thinks husband isn’t jealous but trying to control her

Subtext: who is in control of who

Hope/fear: That Natalie will be able to pick the best suitor

EXT. SIDEWALK – NIGHT

Saying good night to Vlad then having argument with husband

Essence: Vlad says she’ll dream of him; husband gets bitchy; we see Vlad behind the scenes being cruel

Conflict: Natalie likes being the center of attention

Subtext: even players can be played

Hope/fear: Hope that someone is looking out for Natalie

Scene Arc: Husband keeps messing up Natalie/Vlad romance

INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT

Natalie is rejuvenized and dreams of Vlad, as he had predicted, but it is a musical number

Essence: Natalie’s dreams plays off Vlad’s charm and gives her no reason to fear him

Conflict: Romantic tension with Vlad

Subtext: does trust require change

Hope/fear: Natalie will find inner strength

EXT. NATALIE’S HOTEL – NIGHT

Vlad lurks with henchmen

Essence: Vlad senses Natalie’s dreams and laughs that she is unique – but not enough to live

Conflict: Henchmen note that there is something different with her; same shadow as at mother’s house

Subtext: Is Natalie different

Hope/fear: Natalie can outlive Vlad’s intended harm

INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT

Husband wakes Natalie from her dream; tries to expose Vlad; sleeps on floor to protect her

Essence: Husband has been investigating Vlad and tries to warn Natalie off him

Conflict: Natalie likes this side of her husband but of course if pissed that he’s interfering

Subtext: Do you trust truth or dangerous romance

Hope/fear: Hope husband can defend Natalie

EXT. NATALIE’S HOTEL – NIGHT

Vlad’s henchmen suppress laughs at how husband’s interruption has frustrated Vlad

Essence: Vlad is not used to being thwarted

Conflict: Vlad’s evil plan for husband – and henchmen

Subtext: don’t laugh at the devil

Hope/fear: fear that Natalie blinded by Vlad and therefore doomed

Scene Arc: Hunting for inheritance

INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY

Happy Natalie steps over sleeping husband to get on with her quest

Essence: Natalie primps and displays confidence

Conflict: Husband wakes up to warn her but she thinks he’s holding her back

Subtext: people run from feelings

Hope/fear: Hope husband will step up

EXT. MARKET – DAY

Excited Natalie walk to town hall and tells the gypsy that her prediction was accurate; gypsy tries to warn Natalie that she got the prediction wrong; sees Natalie’s necklace

Essence: Natalie is building her confidence as she approaches town hall

Conflict: henchmen follow and endanger gypsy; Natalie rejects truth

Subtext: we see what we want to see

Hope/fear: fear Natalie’s naivety will cause her harm

EXT. TOWN HALL – DAY

Husband is waiting for Natalie to accompany her but she sends him packing; henchman lurks; dismissed husband spies on Natalie behind henchman

Essence: Natalie would rather bet on what she doesn’t know

Conflict: fight with husband; she doesn’t see henchmen

Subtext: trust and belief in a frustrating person causes rejection of truth

Hope/fear: Natalie is gaining hope

INT. TOWN HALL – DAY

Natalie gets the cold shoulder and a handy henchman offers greetings from Vlad and help in translating which he does not tell her the truth

Essence: Henchman is now controlling access and learns Natalie’s identity which gives him an edge on Vlad

Conflict: henchmen and Natalie at odds though she doesn’t know it; her identity causes panic in people; her powers show up but she doesn’t realize it

Subtext: Somethings are better as secrets (her identity) when she doesn’t understand them

Hope/fear: Henchman will help Natalie or at least fight Vlad

EXT. MARKET – DAY

After frustration at Town Hall the market is totally different – people are rude, afraid, unhelpful; henchman plots; husband confronts gypsy about villager’s change

Essence: Her identity has altered everything; she gets angry at the Town Hall because she’s not getting answer she wants; her anger activates more powers

Conflict: villagers, henchmen pose new threats to Natalie and her husband tries to help her but she pushes him away

Subtext: who do you turn to when everyone turns you away

Hope/fear: Will Natalie prevail

Scene Arc: Vlad shows his true intent

INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY

Natalie is frustrated and confused but heartened by invite from Vlad; husband arrives and tries to keep her from going

Essence: Natalie brushes on the day’s confusion in anticipation of date with Vlad

Conflict: Natalie doesn’t listen to husband

Subtext: hope isn’t always a good thing

Hope/fear: Natalie puts all her hope on meeting with Vlad

INT. VLAD’S CASTLE – DAY

Vlad phones Natalie to confirm the invite; his evil plans become evident in planning with henchman

Essence: Showing Vlad’s true colors

Conflict: henchman has secret from Vlad

Subtext: can an abuser be abused

Hope/fear: fearful for henchman and in turn Natalie

EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT

Natalie and husband argue all the way to the car and Natalie’s powers push him away supernaturally – they both realize she has something powerful but Natalie excuses herself and doesn’t acknowledge power

Essence: Natalie’s power in the open

Conflict: Natalie rejects husband and he is physically hurt by her

Subtext: push away what we don’t understand

Hope/fear: Natalie will harness powers

INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Husband drinks and overhears Vlad horror stories

Essence: Husband pieces together at least part of the truth of Vlad; seeks out gypsy for help

Conflict: husband fights with himself about why he should pursue someone who is broke and rejected him

Subtext: drinking makes nonsense make sense

Hope/fear: Husband understands Natalie’s peril

INT. VLAD’S CASTLE – NIGHT

Vlad wines and dines Natalie but she starts to notice the décor similar to her mother’s and makes some pointed questions about Vlad’s past; in his over confidence Vlad accidently lets Natalie’s inheritance slip

Essence: Natalie starts to piece things together and realizes her peril and tests her powers

Conflict: mental chess match between Vlad and Natalie each knowing but hoping the other doesn’t know that they know; Natalie plays along with Vlad

Subtext: the truth makes everything more dangerous

Hope/fear: Hope Natalie can be powerful and clever

EXT. VLAD’S CASTLE – NIGHT

Husband half-drunk comes to Natalie’s rescue but a henchman captures him

Essence: Husband making decision that is the right thing for Natalie but might be a problem for him

Conflict: Husband tries to play dumb with henchman and gets thrown in torture chamber

Subtext: playing stupid might be a protection

Hope/fear: Hope husband will survive

Natalie has to fight for her life and her husband’s life

INT. VLAD’S CASTLE – NIGHT

Vlad thinks he’ll be even more powerful with Natalie under his control and fulfilling the terms of the inheritance

Essence: Thinking he’s won Natalie over, she pretends to be interested; Vlad learns husband is captured so sets up celebration test for Natalie to destroy mortal husband

Conflict: Husband’s peril; Natalie needing to step up with her powers; Vlad cocky and maybe winning

Subtext: confidence versus cocky

Hope/fear: stakes are high and Natalie and her husband are rubes

INT. VLAD’S TORTURE ROOM – NIGHT

Vlad sets Natalie up against her husband; the gloves are off she needs to expose her power and fight Vlad

Essence: supernatural fight; top henchman weighs in to get his freedom; husband is bound but tries to relay information that Natalie could use; Natalie hears husband but doesn’t want his help

Conflict: Everyone fighting a various levels

Subtext: physical fight is only as strong as the mental battle

Hope/fear: Hope Natalie and husband survive and Vlad disabled/dead

INT. VLAD’S CASTLE – NIGHT

The battle has raged back into the castle where it is nearly dawn and Vlad thinks he can burn Natalie

Essence: Natalie has accepted her power but she doesn’t know if her physical nature has been altered to make her susceptible to light; henchman dies; husband frees himself but can only get outside not to the fight

Conflict: Vlad recites his history and why he is destined to win but something he says makes Natalie more confident that she will prevail

Subtext: those victory speeches before the victory will kill you

Hope/fear: Hope Natalie can pull off a victory

EXT. VLADS’ CASTLE – DAWN

Husband is back outside; the fight comes to him; he stumbles across a silver stake

Essence: husband reenters prepared to fight

Conflict: is husband fighting just for himself or for his relationship

Subtext: vampire tropes

Hope/fear: That Natalie can defeat Vlad and free the land

INT. VLADS’ CASTLE – DAWN

Husband enters and tosses stake to Natalie but Vlad laughs it off and maneuvers Natalie into window bay drenched in light

Essence: Natalie accepts that she might have lost and her last effort is to save her husband

Conflict: Natalie and Vlad; husband and Vlad

Subtext: what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger

Hope/fear: Natalie’s new nature will not be killed by the sunlight

Scene Arc: all is resolved

INT. VLAD’S CASTLE – DAY

Natalie has won. She confronts husband that both she doesn’t need his help and what does he really want from her.

Essence: Natalie has her life under control rather than being bossed around by everyone

Conflict: what does she really want; what will she do with Vlad; will she stay in Transylvania/with husband

Subtext: control creates questions

Hope/fear: afraid she could become Vlad if she takes over his life

INT/EXT. LOCATION – DAY/NIGHT

Natalie and husband head out; Vlad is basically publicly imprisoned; Natalie has power

Essence: Natalie is happy to leave the town under new control

Conflict: she and her husband agree to the level of conflict that draws them together

Subtext: you get what you deserve

Hope/fear: hope it will be a happily ever after

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing’s Intriguing Moments!

My Vision: Professional. Produced. Prolific. Popular.

What I learned: I appreciate Hal’s comment that this is intentional writing, because this is not in my flow!!

Act 1

• Secrets: Natalie’s mom is definitely keeping her past a riddle

• Superior Position: we (the audience) see bats, bites, gloom where Natalie sees umbrellas, gemstones, sunshine

• Mystery: what’s the deal with Natalie’s marriage

Act 2

• Covert Agenda: Husband keeps interjecting himself might be for money or concern or something else

• Hidden identity: Vlad is hiding his vampire nature from Natalie and Natalie is just discovering hers

• Secret: Natalie is given information from a gypsy about her past

• Intrigue: Natalie’s pursuit of her inheritance keeps leading her back to Vlad

• Superior Position: Natalie has realized that Vlad’s symbols and gestures are akin to hers

Act 3

• Intrigue: Natalie accepts visit to Vlad’s castle will she make it out alive

• Intrigue: Vlad has Natalie’s husband kidnapped

• Hidden Identity: Vlad and Natalie reveal themselves for different reasons

• Secret: what’s at stake to secure inheritance and what is the inheritance (money, power, blessing, curse, et

Act 4

• Covert Agenda: Natalie wants to free husband and claim inheritance which means defeating Vlad

• Intrigue: Natalie vs. Vlad who wins

• Hidden Identity: Natalie is a daylight vampire so superior power

• Secret: why is Natalie’s husband really there – love or money

• Intrigue: what to do with Vlad

Mystery: the whole story of Natalie’s birth and
birthright and mother’s flight from Transylvania

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing’s Emotional Moments!

My Vision: Professional. Produced. Prolific. Popular.

What I learned: The lesson content is good but each lesson is really a personal challenge for me to let go, push forward, and maybe find the happy accident

Act 1

· Distress: Natalie’s mother dies.

· Wounds: Natalie feels rejection from her past.

· Betrayal: Instead of seeking comfort from her husband she turns rejects him.

· Surprise: Money is gone completely changing their lives.

Act 2

· Excitement: Natalie feels awakened in Transylvania

· Courage: Natalie pushes husband away in favor of newly-met Vlad

· Hidden Weakness: Vlad discovers a hole in his heart when he meets Natalie

Act 3

· Sacrifice: Natalie and husband make sacrifices to help each other against Vlad

· Excitement: Natalie gets carried away learning her powers

· Moral Issue: Vlad is dealing with a potentially new feeling and way of life if chooses to keep Natalie

· Sacrifice: Husband has to decide between helping Natalie or reject her as she has rejected him

Act 4

· Courage: Natalie fights for her life and her husband’s life

· Success/Winning: Natalie is surprised at her power and victory

· Distress: Vlad doesn’t just lose, he is humiliated

· Bonding: Natalie and husband find something other than money to bind them and maybe love blooms

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing’s Reveals!

My Vision: Professional. Produced. Prolific. Popular.

What I learned: I need to tighten up some of the setup/reveal locations

· Beginning – Marriage on the rocks but why not divorced yet? (set up A-1) Natalie interacts with her mom who calls her Cici (set up B-1) and they share hand signals/habits (set up C). Mother gives Natalie her ‘umbrella’ necklace with the ruby drop hanging below it which scratches Natalie and draws blood when she puts it on (set up D)

· Inciting Incident: Natalie’s Mother dies leaving her broke. Natalie comforts herself with shared hand signals used with her mother and someone comments that looks like a bat (reveal C). She cuts husband loose because she says he’s only after money she no longer has any. This new assertiveness awakens a superpower which is dismissed as a coincidence (setup E) despite her sadness she begins assertiveness and the ruby on the necklace glows blood red when she calls attorney to start divorce filing (setup F)

· Turning Point 1: Natalie sets off to claim her inheritance finds husband has first class passage on the same flight and her necklace again glows (Set up A-2 and reveal F) and they have a combative exchange causing power releasee (reveal E). In Transylvania Vlad has a tremor which he tries to dismiss a cuckoo clock breaking (setup G-1) which he’s told is a foreboding of the end

· Act 2: In Transylvania Natalie meets Vlad and leans on him and his tremors manifest again (set up G-2). Natalie interacts with a gypsy who tells her what ‘Natalie’ means and Natalie asks about ‘Cici’ (set up B-2) but Vlad interrupts before gypsy answers. Later the gypsy points to a painting and points to the sun “see Cici” (set up B-3)

· Antag-Romantic/Husband – not jealous exactly but doesn’t trust Vlad – is he after money or concerned for Natalie? (set up A-3)

· Vlad – can’t explain his desire for Natalie (setup H-1) but she doesn’t seem to be the threat to his power he has anticipated (setup G-3) so he opens up to her and invites her to his castle (setup H-2)

· Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: At Vlad’s castle Natalie sees the same ‘umbrella’ necklace in his artwork and sees clearly that it is a flying bat dripping blood (reveal D) and realizes what he is (reveal H) and hence what she really is (reveal B)

· Act 3: Natalie thinks she’s gotten the upperhand on Vlad when her husband turns up and she must reveal her power who reveals that he wants to stay married (setup A-2) but he is kidnapped by Vlad

· Natalie’s powers keep growing and resemble her actions with her mom (reveal C) and display as superpowers (reveal E) which fail as her confidence wanes as she has an exchange with her husband as she fights Vlad physically — fights and frights, rejection and failure

· Turning Point 3: Natalie tests her powers against Vlad (setup I) but her powers intensify the closer she is to her husband (reveal I). Husband needs Natalie to set him free – is that for his life only or because he wants to defend her as well (setup A-3)

· Act 4 Climax: The sun it nearly up so Vlad thinks he can maneuver Natalie into the light and win but Natalie is also Cici – the vampire born in the light (reveal B-2) so she uses the light to feign death and defeat Vlad (reveal G)

· Resolution: Gypsy an ‘umbrella’ pin like Natalie’s on the husband and husband confesses how he came to marry her and why it wasn’t money or what she thought (reveal A). Vlad – Death would let him rest in peace. He is magically forced to be the cuckoo clock maker. (reveal G)

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing’s Character Action Tracks!

My Vision: Professional. Produced. Prolific. Popular.

What I learned: Focusing on pesky details is important

Protag – Natalie Action Tracks

· Beginning: dealing with her dying mother she makes a fluttering/flying action/fly away with hands as comfort and dismissing problems – later used as vampire power

· Inciting Incident: Mother dies leaving her broke so she stomps around like the indulged child she has always been and rejects the situation by violently shaking

· Turning Point 1: She sets off to claim her inheritance – I don’t quite have it yet but I’d like her to have an excitement/anticipation skip or jump that Vlad also does

· Act 2: she decides to follow Vlad and leans on him so literally she leans on Vlad slipping out of her husband’s embrace

· Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Discovers she needs to confront Vlad or succumb she strokes her necklace in contemplation.

· Act 3: While still trusting Vlad she must defend her pesky husband by coming between them and push them apart. Not yet realizing her powers, she is surprised that she knocks her husband out and slows Vlad

· Turning Point 3: She tests her powers trying to defend her husband and her ‘fly-away’ motion creates literal flight.

· Act 4 Climax: Fears culminate in the possibility of losing her husband and losing to Vlad she huddles as withdrawn but she pops out of it with new resolve

· Resolution: Accepts power position by twisting her view until she is upside down/hanging upside down

Antag – Husband

· Beginning: Distracted with business he is constantly pushing Natalie away or turning his head away

· Inciting Incident: Mother dies and his efforts to comfort his wife when she is shaking are rebuffed he pounds his new invention until it is destroyed.

· Turning Point 1: Decides to follow his wife shaking his head and even walking backward out the door to leave

· Act 2: when he sees Vlad wooing Natalie he puts a protective arm around her

· Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: worried about his and Natalie’s lives being threatened he speaking with slashing hand gestures, grabs Natalie which she rejects

· Act 3: He tries to furtively follow Natalie but she sees him and he makes, goofy disapproving, childish faces

· Turning Point 3: He follows Natalie and they fall into an old dry well where he pleads with Natalie on his knees then pounds bricks in frustration

· Act 4 Climax: Natalie fights Vlad and husband coaches Natalie how to free him and makes cuckoo clock sounds to annoy Vlad and fakes out a henchman to untie him by sounding like Vlad?

· Resolution: He seems to have revived to a focus on his business but as he talks on the phone he plays footsies/tic tac toe with feet with Natalie

Triangle – Vlad

· Beginning: could such an intelligent, handsome, wealthy, ageless creature be so bored he takes out several cuckoo clocks with one toss (like skipping stones), needlessly cruel to henchman who sets up the next set of clocks

· Inciting Incident: he is warned that his empire is in danger and laughs it off – excitement/anticipation skip or jump that is like Natalie’s response

· Turning Point 1: shrugs off a foreboding shiver and sniffs at the air like a hunting wolf

· Act 2: encounters Natalie who intrigues him and he can’t control licking his chops

· Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: He must control/have Natalie so he changes his grooming prep and selects a new cape

· Act 3: Noticing Natalie’s power he orders them kidnapped and he ties ropes and readies the torture chamber

· Turning Point 3: His henchmen fail to get Natalie so he beats a henchman and himself before turning on the husband

· Act 4 Climax: at defeat to Natalie he begs for leniency groveling like a dog on the floor

· Resolution: fakes smile as hangs out sign saying welcome to his touristy cuckoo clock store while villagers wave merrily at him

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing’s New Outline Beats!

My Vision: Professional. Produced. Prolific. Popular.

What I learned: That I like the driving backwards through a plot

Additions – maybe not yet to story specification level of assignment:

Act 1:

· Setup on Mother is lacking – why Nat so devoted to her Mother. Show her mother not really being perfect or even looking out for Natalie’s best interest.

· Setup on relationship with husband and divorce is weak – she sees him as an unfaithful playboy out for her money – set up question of his motives within the marriage

· In my mind I see and attorney and a funeral but not what makes those scenes meaningful

· Natalie’s personality issues need direction for divorce – needs to be fearful – Turning Point turns against her and she turns more inward against herself

Act 2:

· Intro to Vlad needs more character info and incorporation of his henchmen and how villagers lives are affected by him, maybe a cautionary tale is presented

· Vlad scares her when they first meet and she surprises him by challenging some of his issues and not knowing that no one does that

· Need to add local color people like gypsy for fortune telling and foreshadowing

· Natalie is gullible, has weakness for smooth talkers isn’t very observant of surroundings

Act 3:

· Need motivation for husband’s actions what add duplicity more than help us like him

· Where is Natalie being challenged to grow up after exchanging one playboy husband for smoother evil Vlad

· Natalie questions herself after she notices some powers growing but dismisses them because – not self-confidence, trust issues, gets knocked down from trying to be assertive with abilities, sees the cracks in her overly rosy world vision

· Build Vlad’s heritage and obligation that will be stripped from him – does he have an antagonist/antagonistic message

Act 4:

· Does Natalie end up working alone or is she helped by villagers, henchmen, husband?

· Husband needs to start opening up more to Natalie – change her perspective on his past actions that make him worth being saved and worthy of her new powers and confidence

Climax

· Need to specifically embolden her and focus on her new vision

Resolution

· It becomes an empowered Natalie moment so she needs to show the weaknesses that become her strength

· Shows he ultimate decision of what to do with Vlad and whether or not to keep and set new relationship terms with husband

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1

My Vision: Professional. Produced. Prolific. Popular.

What I learned: Difference in the Antag’s Journey is not just opposite the Protag’s

• Opening: Daily Life

o Protag Natalie – Natalie is controlled by her mom. Gets vintage umbrella necklace that scratches her.

o Antag-Romantic/Husband – dismissive. Has his projects to get to which seems suspicious.

o Deeper Layer – everyone is controlling Natalie, even jewelry

• Inciting Incident: Natalie’s Mother dies leaving her broke so Natalie cuts husband loose because she says he’s only after money she no longer has any, only a dying request to claim birthright.

o Protag Natalie – despite her sadness she begins assertiveness and a glimmer of something potentially supernatural happens

o Antag-Romantic/Husband – He refuses to be dismissed. Learns of birthright and decides to follow.

• Turning Point 1: Natalie sets off to claim her inheritance must deal with

o Protag Natalie – trying to navigate journey discovers husband tagging along

o Antag-Romantic/Husband – sets himself up as trying to be helpful but she sees greed

o Antag/Vlad – has a tremor which he tries to dismiss

o Deeper Layer – in her vulnerability Natalie wants someone to lean on

o Genre Convention – rom com push-pull attraction forced together

• Act 2: In Transylvania Natalie meets Vlad and leans on him. A fortune teller warns her off Vlad and tries to confirm if she is a true heir in the Transylvania power lineage but it appears that Natalie is not it

o Protag Natalie – Natalie enjoys someone appreciating her

o Antag-Romantic/Husband – not jealous exactly but doesn’t trust Vlad

o Antag/Vlad – can’t explain this new connection to Natalie but she doesn’t seem to be a threat

o Deeper Layer – Vlad has been warned about a threat to his power

o Genre Conventions – Natalie’s powers grow but can be explained as coincidence

• Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Discovers her inheritance or be dead – confronts Vlad and husband follows them

o Protag Natalie – being drawn into Vlad’s intentions

o Antag-Romantic/Husband – pissed – Natalie keeps pushing him away, inheritance might be worthless

o Antag/Vlad – maybe he has found a soulmate in Natalie

o Deeper Layer – Natalie can’t really believe in herself as a true love interest or heir so is willing to throw it all away

o Genre Conventions – Vlad and husband struggle with their feelings and doubt any honest intentions

• Act 3: Vlad shows his evil intent. She must defend her pesky husband who is trying to “rescue” her.

o Protag Natalie – Her powers keep growing but she doesn’t realize that she’s the cause of the things happening until her husband points it out signaling that maybe she can trust husband

o Antag-Romantic/Husband – in over his head but is he’s going down he’ll try to do the right things by Natalie

o Antag/Vlad – gives up on his romantic notions which makes his anger even greater

o Deeper Layer – love and money are blood sports

o Genre Conventions – fights and frights, rejection and failure

• Turning Point 3: Natalie tests her powers against Vlad which means she must accept help from her husband

o Protag Natalie – in compromising situation but uses some powers that save her but not her husband

o Antag-Romantic/Husband – relies on Natalie and even confesses attachment to her but she lets him down

o Antag/Vlad – nothing but winning, winning, winning

o Deeper Layer – If Natalie can’t embrace her powers she and husband are dead and Vlad wins

o Genre Conventions – darkness before the dawn (literal dawn could kill Vlad)

• Act 4 Climax: Overcomes enemy and her worst fears culminate in the possibility of losing her husband

o Protag Natalie – conventional fighting and failure

o Antag-Romantic/Husband – tries to puzzle out a win but he’s a prisoner

o Antag/Vlad – this sparing with Natalie has been fun but now it is time to end

o Deeper Layer – Need to employ/trust emotions and bring secrets to light to test them

o Genre Conventions – Natalie has a secret power that Vlad cannot defeat – she was born in light

• Resolution: Accepts ex-husband with new boundaries and personality while testing new energy and power

o Protag Natalie – she has he options – does she want her husband back on new terms? Kill Vlad? Rule Transylvania?

o Antag – Romantic/Husband – he confesses how he came to marry her and it wasn’t money so there is an ability to find mutual trust

o Antag/Vlad – Death would let him rest in peace. The fortune teller would keep reminding him of his fall and harness what remains of his power for the betterment of the community

o Deeper Layer – Love can be built from the ashes and maybe better for it

o Genre Conventions – bad guys must be defeated. Love must triumph.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing’s Deeper Layer!

My Vision: Professional. Produced. Prolific. Popular.

What I learned: A lot is already there in my brain so lesson is to effectively draw it out.

2. As we did above with The Sixth Sense, create each piece of this “Deeper Layer” puzzle.

· Surface Layer: Death, Divorce and Money

· Deeper Layer: super natural inheritance

· Major Reveal: Natalie is the chosen one – a vampire born in sunlight

· Influences Surface Story: Romance with Vlad is because Vlad is unknowingly attracted to the vampire in Natalie. Natalie is likewise attracted to Vlad and unwilling to listen to her husband. She is emboldened in Transylvania as she never felt before. She thinks that she is finding her wings and becoming assertive through dealing with the divorce, her mother’s death and rejecting her husband.

· Hints: Natalie’s powers manifest but in ways that are easy to explain away.

· Changes Reality: Natalie starts seeing things in a new way – her ‘umbrella’ necklace is really a bat necklace. She must save herself and her husband which requires embracing bloody/ancient truths. Also, Natalie must face the relationship with her husband (currently have a list of 14 possibilities)

3. Add the rest of the structure to the characters to the script. Try to get to the point as we’ve done in the Iron Man example above.

· Beginning: Natalie is a busy bee trying to win approval and fleeting praise even to her mother’s deathbed and trying to divorce husband

· Inciting Incident: when her mother dies she discovers that her efforts have only merited a demand to claim her inheritance in Transylvania or be poor

· Turning Point 1: Husband follows her to Transylvania where she meets and is wowed and wooed by Vlad. Her powers appear but can be written off as coincidences.

· Act 2: She casts her pursuit on Vlad’s seemingly capable shoulders and her husband tries to follow, nagging the whole time

· Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: As Natalie intensifies quest for inheritance continues, her powers grow. Vlad has not yet noticed but she does seem to keep him surprised so he does not worry over keeping her alive.

· Act 3: Her husband has gotten on Vlad’s bad side and his evil intent becomes apparent to Natalie. She tries to resolve situation making it worse.

· Turning Point 3: Vlad seemingly has Natalie and her husband in peril. Vlad uses husband to get Natalie to give her inheritance to him.

· Act 4 Climax: Natalie faces her worst fears of abandonment and being an outcast to summon her new powers and fight Vlad, win her inheritance and save husband. She appears to lose but her claim on the inheritance is stronger than Vlad’s so she can’t lose.

· Resolution: In winning her inheritance, she confronts her husband. In this confrontation is a final revelation of why they got married in the first place.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing’s Character Structure

My Vision: Professional. Produced. Prolific. Popular.

What I learned: That my battles are more against me (the “why bother” of my upbringing) than some lessons.

Protag – Natalie

Beginning: Wallflower indulged
by her mother and hiding from reality – mother’s necklace scratches her
Inciting Incident: Mother dies
leaving her broke but with a bequest she is reluctant to pursue – meek and
powerless and feeling alone. In frustration something mundane happens that
she (and we) later realizes is the start of her powers
Turning Point 1: She sets off to
claim her inheritance must deal with husband – increasing her feelings of
powerlessness but now faking it too keep him inline. She feels in tune to
life in Transylvania
Act 2: she decides to follow
Vlad and leans on him casting away her better reason but he awakens some
desires in her. A fortune teller warns her off Vlad and tries to confirm if
she is a true valid error in the Transylvania power line but it appears
that Natalie is not it
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Discovers
she needs to step up to claim her inheritance or be dead – confront Vlad
or succumb to him which she certainly would do if her husband wasn’t a
constant annoyance. She keeps redirecting Vlad to help her and is somehow
able to manage him which is a surprise to him.
Act 3: While still trusting Vlad
she must defend her pesky husband who is trying to “rescue” her. Her
powers keep growing but she doesn’t realize that she’s the cause of the
things happening until her husband points it out.
Turning Point 3: She tests her
powers and realizes Vlad is her enemy for the inheritance and has designs
to kill her
Act 4 Climax: Overcomes enemy
and her worst fears culminate in the possibility of losing her husband
Resolution: Accepts ex-husband with
new boundaries and personality while testing new energy and power

Antag/romantic interest – Ex Husband – Jeff:

Beginning: Distracted with
business. He thinks he should just cut the cord with his wife – from
anchor to millstone
Inciting Incident: Mother dies
and his efforts to comfort his wife are rebuffed. He is insulted that she
thinks he’s just after the money (but does anyone believe that he isn’t?)
Turning Point 1: Decides he
needs to protect his wimpy wife and then he can divorce with a clear conscience
Act 2: Fighting with wife
frustrates him but protection is renewed when he sees Vlad wooing her
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Husband
learns that she’s not pursuing her inheritance the way she should and now
he’s really worried about his life being threatened
Act 3: He makes a plea to
Natalie who doesn’t believe him. He starts putting together the pieces
about Natalie’s new powers and Vlad’s interest in her – He considers his
claim on her stronger
Turning Point 3: He follows
Natalie and they fall into an old dry well where they talk and seem to be
honest for once, then she disappears and Vlad’s henchmen take him hostage
Act 4 Climax: Natalie fights
Vlad and frees husband who recalculates his role as Natalie’s protector
from the real world which is much harsher that she’s ever expected
Resolution: He seems to have
revered to a focus on his business interests but he is just baiting
Natalie to make the first move to renew their relationship

Antag/villain – VLAD

Beginning: could such an
intelligent, handsome, wealthy, ageless creature be so bored
Inciting Incident: he is warned
that his empire is in danger and laughs it off
Turning Point 1: shrugs off a
foreboding shiver
Act 2: encounters Natalie who
intrigues him and he can’t explain it but he doesn’t see her as a threat
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: He
decides he must control/have/possess Natalie until he is bored again
Act 3: He notices Natalie’s
power and the husband’s connection so he decides to have them kidnapped
Turning Point 3: His henchmen
fail to get Natalie so he tortures husband for information and evil
enjoyment
Act 4 Climax: Defeated but alive
he tests out his new mortality and plots

Resolution: often rejected but not bored

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing’s Supporting Characters

My Vision: Professional. Produced. Prolific. Popular.

What I learned: I hadn’t even thought about these guys yet

2. Tell us your supporting and background characters.

Supporting Characters: Natalie’s
Mother, Natalie’s Attorney, Fortune Teller, Lead Henchman
Background Characters: Attorney’s
Assistant, Other Henchmen, Transylvanian bureaucrats

3. Focusing on those supporting characters, fill in the basic profile for each.

· Support 1:

Name: Elvira aka Elvie
Role: Natalie’s Mother, Backstory – Name means ‘the one
who protects everyone’, raised Natalie in privilege but not very
compassionate/taskmaster
Main purpose: To propel journey to claim inheritance, to
provide insight into Natalie’s legacy
Value: Surprise – she is really the nanny who smuggled
Natalie out of the country, she had wealth because she stole from Vlad’s
family

· Support 2:

o Name: Bertram

o Role: Attorney of the will – Explains things and adds legitimacy

o Main purpose: Keep the pressure up to claim the inheritance, confuse the issue because of secrets keeping at Elvie’s request

o Value: He is the stateside touchstone if additional information/pressure needed

· Support 3:

Name: Fane
Role: Head Henchmen – Does the
dirty work for Vlad
Main purpose: Sounding board,
chief adorer/profaner, carries out Vlad’s daytime biddings
Value: Daytime entity, learns
secrets about Natalie, torn loyalties, echoes Vlad’s vicious nature

· Support 4:

Name: Minodora – Mino the Mystic
or maybe Luminita
Role: Fortune teller
Main purpose: Shows how hard to
live in the Transylvania shadows, plays like a tourist favorite
Value: May have actually been
able to identify Natalie’s secret identity, becomes a local confidant

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing’s Character Intrigue

My Vision: Professional. Produced. Prolific. Popular.

What I learned: I don’t have intrigue yet so I am trying everything.

Natalie: Role: Protagonist

· Hidden Agenda – She still loves him but she knows about his business and has been trying to buy it to keep tied to her

· Competition – since she doesn’t feel good enough she’s in competition with everyone whether they know it or not

· Conspiracies – Her mother was involved in secrets with people, like her attorney, that still try to control her

· Secrets – She’s just playing Vlad to get Jeff jealous not knowing how dangerous Vlad can be

· Deception – is deceiving herself like seeing open umbrellas when actually a bat in flight is depicted

· Unspoken Wound – TBD

· Secret Identity – her nickname is Cici – which means born in the morning. As Vlad’s secret/her inheritance unfold we learn that born in daylight that has the power to break the Dracula chain (all vampires being born at night)

Jeff: Role: Soon-to-be-ex-husband/Love Interest

· Hidden Agenda – Has a business he needs money to save so how is Natalie worth more stealing, divorce, inheritance?

· Competition – he schmoozes Vlad to size up the competition

· Conspiracies – He has been working with Natalie’s attorney to maybe get more than he’s due

· Secrets – He might still love her

· Deception – He’s been letting her believe that he’s having an affair in order to disguise his business operations

· Unspoken Wound – Yes he needs one

· Secret Identity – he’s not just a schmoozer but he actually has smarts

Vlad Role: Villain/Love interest

· Hidden Agenda/Competition – He can’t decide if he wants to try to co-rule with Natalie or just destroy her

· Conspiracies – he knows the legends that he uses to hang on to his power

· Secrets – He is not the chosen one but no one has challenged him so he thinks he’ll get away with it

· Deception – Evil, Controls most of the locals and frightens the rest, superpowers

· Unspoken Wound – again he should have one – this must be my weakness!

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing’s Subtext Characters

My Vision: Professional. Produced. Prolific. Popular.

What I learned: Subtext is more than dialogue

Example: The Proposal

· Character: Margaret

· Subtext Identity: Orphan

· Subtext Trait: Isolated so is Independent, demanding, controlling

· Subtext Logline: She has to be strong for herself

· Possible Areas of Subtext: How she deals with people – she’s in control; meeting his family – she tries to keep distance; being hit on by the stripper – she’s nicer than you would expect because this is creepy and new; being accepted with kindness by the guys ex – she can’t hide her curiosity because who would choose being alone.

For Staking Claim

Natalie

Subtext Identity: Constant Panic

Subtext Trait: Overwhelmed and confused by life but tries to pretend that she’s on top of it

Subtext Logline: What’s going to bite me next?

Possible Areas of Subtext: With husband – Rather than considering trusting him just move him along; with Vlad – she’s recognized something about him that he doesn’t think she sees which is giving her confidence to investigate more; with her attorney – tries to deny that she needs to take action; with her mother – sacrificing because she somehow the relationship has always been cold/withholding

Jeff

Subtext Identity: I used to be a nerd/misunderstood

Subtext Trait: Studied how popular people did it and patterned self to be popular

Subtext Logline: It’s amazing how much people will like you if you just pretend to like them

Possible Areas of Subtext: With Natalie – she has no clue that he might have insecurities; with the people he schmoozes – his life is a house of cards; with Vlad – is this a competition, a business deal, or a signoff on the new beau

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing’s Staking Claim Actor Attractors

My Vision: Professional. Produced. Prolific. Popular.

What I learned: Hard to break away from the cliche

Female Lead: Natalie

1. Why WANT to be known for this role? Even though she seems to have given up on life she finds her spunk to fight for what she wants and deserves.

2. What makes character one of the most interesting? She’s been clueless and powerless but she discovers that when she’s able to tie together her ancestry with her goals, she sees clearly and acts decisively

3. Most interesting actions of Lead? At fist at least, she deludes herself, majors on the minors then the blinders are off and she can focus and puts the first things first

4. How character introduced? Unwilling to make decisions regarding her mother’s death and her impending divorce or committing to claim her inheritance

5. What’s emotional range? Wimpy, argumentative to keep from hearing/learning to powerful, able to listen, learn and apply learning

6. What subtext can the actor play? Basically she is tying things together that she ignored because they never made sense and now how can she use this intelligence, build confidence, decide what she really wants

7. Most interesting relationships? With her ex – how much does she really need or want to be with him? With her mother who is now dead but left her with a puzzle rather than affection. With Vlad – She’s attracted to him for all the wrong reasons.

8. How character’s unique voice presented? Humor born of subverting her own desires to accommodate others and confusion about her own life where 2+2 equals anything but 4

9. What makes character special and unique? She’s actually smarter and more powerful than even she knew. She’s always looking on the sunny side even in dark situations.

10. (example scene) Walking to dinner in Transylvania, captured by the quaint beauty despite showers. She’s scared as a man quickly engulfs her in his cloak but accepts dinner invite from him as he explains he was just trying to keep her dry. We notice that she notices that his cuff links match her necklace and other odd things about him so she’s got something intellectual going on despite her giddy empty-headed acceptance.

Male Lead: Jeff

1. Why WANT to be known for this role? He gets to dispel the greedy unfaithful husband stereotype. He wants the money the money for other businesses and he wants to prove his worth.

2. What makes character one of the most interesting? He seems to keep doing the right thing which makes us wonder if he loves his wife or he’s just that greedy to the core or is there something else at stake for him

3. Most interesting actions of Lead? That he follows her to Transylvania under the pretext of protecting his divorce settlement but when it gets life-threateningly scary and he could just leave, he stays to help her

4. How character introduced? He arrives late, holds up the proceedings, schmoozing at his wife’s mother’s funeral

5. What’s emotional range? From Mr. Popularity to potential villain to authentic person

6. What subtext can the actor play? He’s got another life but it is not what his wife suspects

7. Most interesting relationships? With wife he never seems honest. With Vlad is he just looking for a business investor, tour guide, or is he pumping Vlad for the guy’s apparent interest in his wife

8. How character’s unique voice presented? He hides his feelings and intelligence under his slick personality

9. What makes character special and unique? He seems so obviously selfish, corrupt and scheming yet forgivable

10. (example scene) He snakes through the funeral getting intel as he goes. He puts his arm around his wife so she can’t shake him off. He looks comforting but quietly he’s pressing her about blocking his calls and the new inheritance

Love Rival/Villain: Vlad

1. Why WANT to be known for this role? Addictively romantic type to make women swoon but fearfully violent

2. What makes character one of the most interesting? He toys with Natalie and Jeff as a cat playing with its living prey

3. Most interesting actions of Lead? He keeps from revealing his powers, preferring to play on his charms

4. How character introduced? He attacks Natalie but since she is able to innocently ward off his attack, he switches tactics

5. What’s emotional range? From local playboy to cunning suitor to evil overlord

6. What subtext can the actor play? He knows people are intrigued with dark side, so he keeps it light with a drizzle of fear

7. Most interesting relationships? With Natalie might he have extended interest in her to keep her with him and rule together. With the husband – string the gnat along until I can smash him. With his sidekick – what promises have been made and how has their dynamic changed over the years?

8. How character’s unique voice presented? Of course, international accent and endless stories of escapades. He’s a much bigger operator than Jeff could ever be, than anyone could ever be, no rivals.

9. What makes character special and unique? In one sense he is tied to evil and stuck there. In another sense Natalie offers him a kind of choices: change, add Natalie to the mix, move on, fight to hold on to everything

10. (example scene) – Vlad is holding Jeff hostage and when Natalie arrives to the rescue she presents a greater challenge than he had anticipated because her claim to the power is stronger than his. He tries to win her over to rule together. Ultimately, he has to do the only thing he’s ever done – can a vampire shave off his fangs?

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing’s Actor Attractors for “The Proposal”

My Vision: Professional. Produced. Prolific. Popular.

What I learned: I am enjoying auditioning the traits with the actors in my head. I am trusting that some drifting vapor in my head will be useful – oh – I can use that.

The Proposal

Female Lead: Margaret played by Sandra Bullock

1. Why WANT to be known for this role? Successful, strong woman who thinks on her feet and eventually allows herself to find strength in vulnerability.

2. What makes character one of the most interesting? She is honest about herself (likes control, not perfect, goes after what she needs) even as she is deceiving others about her relationship.

3. Most interesting actions of Lead? How she spins things to work out her way i.e. meeting with her bosses, telling story about her assistant’s proposal

4. How character introduced? Intro subtext sells it: She is running (ambitious) on a treadmill (stuck) reading a manuscript (always working) but the manuscript surprises her (later we find out it was submitted by her assistant)

5. What’s emotional range? From bossy and know-it-all to vulnerable and uncertain

6. What subtext can the actor play? Everything challenges her relational vulnerabilities.

7. Most interesting relationships? With assistant she relies on him but also calls out and uses his ambitions. With bosses she calls them out.

8. How character’s unique voice presented? She spins and sells everything – outing co-worker, selling reluctant author on Oprah appearance, selling bosses, knuckling assistant to be her fiancé

9. What makes character special and unique? She’s honest with herself that she is affected by opinions of others

10. (example scene) Andrew has forced her to relay how they got engaged so she turns it into an overly drippy romance story and when Andrew interjects so masculine elements she emasculates that input as well

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing’s Genre Conventions

My Vision: Professional. Produced. Prolific. Popular.

What I learned: Personally, how easily I derail my writing for daily life. I really like lists of conventions especially since we are just plugging in and can swap out what isn’t working as a new option comes to us.

Concept: Staking Claims – Divorcing couple try to claim an inheritance in Transylvania

Main Concept: What’s worth risking your life for? Money, Love, Power, Purpose, etc.?

Genre: Rom-Com

Conventions for Rom-Com

· Purpose: Feeling of falling in love

· The Journey of Love: From the meet-cute at the attorney’s office where they argue, it is all over except the signing and continued jabs.

· Relationship Set-Up: Meet-cute at the attorney’s office – everyone is bickering and maybe lying

· Issues:

o Her issues include breaking from her mother/heritage, risk taking to trust/love, gaining self-confidence based on something other than money.

o His issues include going after what he wants, trusting someone else, deciding if he has a price or not, being honest

· Separation: Although they form an alliance to get the inheritance, they maintain emotionally distant and then once they almost reunite, they are physically separated

· Comedy: Besides the verbal sparing there are mysterious and scary things around them that they should acknowledge and address but apparently don’t see.

Updated Structure with Genre Improvements

Act 1:

Opening –
Bickering marriage on the rocks, secrets. Divorce settlement meeting with
lies and attorneys to increase the bickering. Even though they seem to
enjoy the verbal sparring.
Inciting Incident
– Mother’s controlling even in death, foreboding incident with mother’s
necklace. Soon
to be ex- husband overhears claiming about inheritance at the funeral.
Turning Point: She sets off to
Transylvania to claim inheritance in First Class. Ex struggles into next
flight, a supply flight replete with goats.

Act 2:

New Plan – Husband shows up to
“help” which ruins the candlelit dinner she was
having with villainous Vlad. Local bar turns into Armageddon-style second
meet-cute, which is very much enjoyed by the blood thirsty locals.
Plan in Action – Finding typical
American bureaucratic plan won’t work, many strange encounters. The next day she’s off with Vlad trying to do the
paperwork route while the ex shows up suspicious, maybe jealous, and again
screws everything up. Although later we will see that the ex’s
interference thwarted Vlad’s plan, made her wonder if the ex was
trustworthy, and committed her to working with ex.
MidPoint Turning Point – Realizes
that she is fighting pure evil. Together they discover
that nothing is as innocent as it seems and that maybe she’s a decedent of
Dracula. Now they are fighting pure evil and trust issues.

Act 3:

Rethinking everything – what she
thought were mishaps might actually be new powers.
New Plan – try to work together
and employ new skills. Ex is actually encouraging
and her trust walls might be breaking down a little as her self-confidence
grows. Ex is actually enjoying the thrill ride and wondering if he is really
only there for the money – maybe he actually loved her once – maybe he
still does.
Turning Point: Huge
Failure/Major Shift – While stuck in a well discovers that husband had
once loved her. Since they are doomed to die at
the bottom of this empty well they confess their love and then she is
gone. Her powers have lifted her away while he is rescued by Vlad’s me and
put in the castle’s torture chamber.

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate expression of
the conflict – Faces off with evil to save husband and claim her powers.
Resolution – Releasing ancient
control and recommitting to marriage/life with new objectives. They recommit with evidence of trust and openly enjoying
bickering.

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing’s 4 Act4 Transformational Structure

My Vision: Professional. Produced. Prolific. Popular.

What I learned: Still fighting the internal battles for which I exorcize when writing – a 2-fer reason to write.

Concept: Staking Claims – Divorcing couple try to claim an inheritance in Transylvania

Main Concept: What’s worth risking your life for? Money, Love, Power, Purpose, etc.?

Old Ways:

· Beautification priority

· snide social climbing even if she doesn’t feel good about it

· She’s skeptical of things she can’t manager through money

· overly devoted to her mother

· always feels lacking

New Ways:

· Starts to use her brain rather than her face

· sets humanitarian or charity goals rather than social climbing

· likes a challenge

· takes a more balanced measure of people and commitments

· is respected and courageous

Act 1:

o Opening – Bickering marriage on the rocks, secrets

o Inciting Incident – Mother’s controlling even in death, foreboding incident with mother’s necklace

o Turning Point: Setting off to Transylvania to claim inheritance

Act 2:

o New Plan – Husband shows up to “help”

o Plan in Action – Finding typical American bureaucratic plan won’t work, many strange encounters

o MidPoint Turning Point – Realizes that she is fighting pure evil

Act 3:

o Rethinking everything – what she thought were mishaps might actually be new powers

o New Plan – try to work together and employ new skills

o Turning Point: Huge Failure/Major Shift – While stuck in a well discovers that husband had once loved her

Act 4:

o Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict – Faces off with evil to save husband and claim her powers

o Resolution – Releasing ancient control and recommitting to marriage/life with new objectives

[Pam Ewing]

My Vision: Professional. Produced. Prolific. Popular.

What I learned: I’m having fun – oops future panic – pushing future issues further out

Concept: Divorcing couple find themselves trying to claim an inheritance in Transylvania.

Subtext and how it plays out:

Subtext Plot 1 – Fish Out of Water

o Snooty socialites in dark Transylvania.

o Surface-driven people in land driven by history and blood.

o American’s who don’t catch on to international intrigue.

Subtext Plot 2 – Competitive Agendas

o Protag wants inheritance to maintain her lifestyle and honor her commitment to her sainted mother.

o Vlad wants to keep it because it funds life. He’s confident he’ll win he plays with different scenarios: lover, relative, demonic overlord, ?

o Ex-husband wants it so he can have a trophy for his time in the marriage. He’s already earned it so it pisses him off to have to fight this new battle for the money.

[Pam Ewing]

My Vision: Professional. Produced. Prolific. Popular.

What I learned: Already building complexity by developing character journey before overall plot line.

Protag: Natalie

· Arc Beginning: Confused, immature, spoiled Princess

· Arc Ending: Has confidence in self rather than money – Knows how to navigate the world for what she wants

o Internal Journey: Gaining self-confidence and confidence to fight for what she wants/needs, learning to be a “princess” leader

o External Journey: Pampered rich girl to roughing it in the woods of Transylvania with monsters and her soon-to-be ex-husband

· Old Ways:

Beautification priority

snide social climbing even if she doesn’t feel good about it

She’s skeptical of things she can’t manager through money

overly devoted to her mother

always feels lacking

· New Ways:

Starts to use her brain rather than her face

sets humanitarian or charity goals rather than social climbing

likes a challenge

takes a more balanced measure of people and commitments

is respected and courageous

[Pam Ewing]

My Vision: Professional. Produced. Prolific. Popular.

What I learned: I like the idea of plug things in and building up to dialogue.

Film Logline: Natalie hops off to Transylvania to claim some mystery birthright and is furious that her soon-to-be ex-husband, Jeff, shows up — until she meets the imposing Vlad, who controls the birthright.

Character 1: Natalie

· Character 1 Logline: Rich girl faces losing it all if she can’t claim some mysterious foreign birthright

· Character 1 Unique: entitled, naïve, optimistic, timid, unskilled but loves to watch survivalist training

Character 2: Jeff

· Character 2 Logline: If the heiress divorces him, she better pony up some money, needs excitement

· Character 2 Unique: Good-time type that has always wanted to make something of himself, if only he weren’t so lazy, easier just to manipulate some wealthy wife

Character 3: Vlad

· Character 3 Logline: Being the king of all I see can get boring, that’s what makes cruelty so much fun

· Character 3 Unique: Under the pressure of centuries of tradition and modern change make him irritable, lack of peers has created a great hole in his heart that he can’t accept

[Pam Ewing]

My Vision: Professional. Produced. Prolific. Popular.

What I learned: That I am already “failing” (accepting the learning experience). My waffling (on which story, title, et al) is costing me time and forward momentum. Not satisfied with me. Just moving forward by putting repeat concepts into a blender.

Title: Staking Claims

Concept: Divorcing couple find themselves trying to claim an inheritance in Transylvania.

Character Structure: Rom-Com

[Pam Ewing]

Importance of the discipline of setting aside criticism. If I was asked if I wanted to learn and grow even if it meant a little pain or embarrassment, I’d say ‘Yes. Of course.’ Then when confronted with a little pain or embarrassment I scream, ‘That’s not what I wanted.’ The whiny little person that I am just needs to let it all go. And I want to, despite any internal protest. I am stronger than any picket signs outside my soul’s window.

[Pam Ewing]

I agree to the terms of the is release form

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing

I’ve completed 2-3 features. I’d done even more spec sitcoms. Still finishing is a problem for me because somewhere I have binder of ideas.

I was writing for me. Now I’m old and I need to write for my stories. They need a birth.

I hope I can stay true to the vision of creating for the stories and not letting my ego or perfectionism get in the way.

Unique strange? Yes. I have them but nothing noteworthy. Ah – I’ve died before. There is life after death (multiple true meanings).

[Pam Ewing]

Pam Ewing Finished Act 1 (sorta)

What I learned is to just give this part an enema and move on because I can always come back.

NEED STATUS QUO BEFORE

NEED BEGINNING OF POWER TRANSFERRANCE

NEED NECKLACE TRANSFER

NEED HINT AT HERITAGE/WEALTH/PARENTAGE/REASON MOTHER FLED

Ext. Private Graveyard – day

Natalie (30’s) looks lost placing flowers on a tombstone.

NATALIE

Miss you. Again, sorry this isn’t

the spot we had picked out before

but I just couldn’t bury you where

Warren and I first – you know.

Although with the divorce maybe it

would be – no maybe not. Could just

be me and you here for the

duration.

Natalie scans the garden with a few rabbits and the mansion up the hill.

NATALIE

I know you liked him but I just

don’t have any zest for ‘you know’

or anything else anymore. The

rabbits do seem to like it here.

INT. ATTORNEY’S OFFICE – DAY

Natalie fidgets. Her husband and his attorney glare at her across the table. Natalie’s attorney arrives in a huff.

NATALIE’S ATTORNEY

There is a problem.

HUSBAND

Of course. Problem is on the family

crest, isn’t it? No laughter? You

used to think everything was fun.

NATALIE

So I’ve changed but you have, too.

HUSBAND’S ATTORNEY

Shhh. No talking.

NATALIE’S ATTORNEY

Although Natalie filed for her

birthright, it seems that per the

laws of royal inheritance from XXX,

as you know Natalie’s mother was a

princess, Natalie must claim the

birthright in person within a

year of the royal passing or

forfeit her estate.

HUSBAND

(grim chuckle)

Now that’s funny. No money. No

divorce.

NATALIE’S ATTORNEY

There is a problem.

HUSBAND

Of course. Problem is on the family

crest, isn’t it? No laughter? You

used to think everything was fun.

NATALIE

So I’ve changed but you have, too.

HUSBAND’S ATTORNEY

Shhh. No talking.

NATALIE’S ATTORNEY

Although Natalie filed for her

birthright, it seems that per the

laws of royal inheritance from XXX,

as you know Natalie’s mother was a

princess, Natalie must claim the

birthright in person within two

years of the royal passing or

forfeit her estate.

HUSBAND

(grim chuckle)

Now that’s funny. No money. No

divorce.

HUSBAND’S ATTORNEY

My client may be out of line but he is nonetheless correct.

Please advise me when this matter is resolved.

Husband and his attorney shove away from the table and depart.

NATALIE

That was just for negotiation

purposes, right?

NATALIE’S ATTORNEY

No. I’ve asked my assistant to

contact a travel agent for you. You

only have a little more than a week

before the one year anniversary of

your mother’s departure.

NATALIE

(panicking)

But I’ve never been out of the

country since my honeymoon. I

barely leave my house. I can’t do

this.

NATALIE’S ATTORNEY

Natalie, please focus. As you know

I represented your mother and her

estate. If you fail to retain the

estate I will represented the

estate’s interests over yours.

NATALIE

There must be another way. I pay

you to handle this.

NATALIE’S ATTORNEY

The estate pays my retainer. I am

quite certain that if you do not

satisfy this birthright stipulation

I will be obligated to seize all

your funds and evict you.

NATALIE

What?

Natalie’s attorney shows her the door.

NATALIE’S ATTORNEY

Have a good day. Good luck.

INT. LAW OFFICE – DAY

As Natalie turns the corner she sees her husband leaning over her attorney’s assistant’s desk. He sees her.

HUSBAND

(to assistant, obviously

changing subject)

…so it can be done. Great. Thanks

for the information.

He pivots and walks with Natalie but behind her back mimes ‘call me’ to the assistant.

NATALIE

I don’t need an escort.

HUSBAND

But my chivalry is what attracted

you in the first place.

He pushes the elevator button and holds the door for her.

NATALIE

Wrong as usual. I’ll take the next

elevator.

HUSBAND

And waste all that horsepower. Suit

yourself.

As the door close she jumps into the elevator. He hums. She recognizes the tune.

NATALIE

They really need better elevator

music.

The doors open.

HUSBAND

After you m’lady.

She stalls but people are waiting to get on the elevator. She clumsily stumbles over people to exit building.

INT. NATALIE’S BEDROOM – DAY

Natalie is mumbling and pointing as her maid packs.

MAID

I am so happy to see you getting

out in the world again.

NATALIE

No. I think the blue dress. No.

Pack them both.

MAID

Your mother would be so happy that

you are visiting her homeland. And

alone. You are being so brave.

NATALIE

Is it colder there?

MAID

Wear layers and you’ll always be

warm. Tickets and passport in

purse. Your limo awaits.

The maid closes the suitcases and takes them downstairs.

Natalie numbly follows with her purse and the smallest case.

[Pam Ewing]

Assignment 11 Pam Ewing’s Turning Point 1 Scenes

Learned – just charge forward. Be stupid and untalented and uncertain and BE OKAY WITH THAT. Wasn’t okay – fretted over better storyline for days! Might have found it through writing rather than fretting.

ACT 1 Turning Point Outline

Revised Inciting Incident – Natalie agreed to go claim her birthright after her mother’s death – and filed the paperwork – no plans to travel.

Turning Pt1 – Natalie has been living off of her inheritance which has turned her marriage sour. She has filed for divorce but in working out the prenup the attorney found out that she must claim here birthright in person within 2 years of her mother’s death or forfeit her inheritance. That deadline is in 2 weeks! Crazy foreign royalty and money. Natalie packs to go.

Scene after TP1 – Natalie’s husband shows up in the country.

INT. ATTORNEY’S OFFICE – DAY

Natalie fidgits. Her husband and his attorney sit across the table. Husband glares at her. Natalie’s attorney arrives in a huff.

NATALIE’S ATTORNEY

There has been a problem.

HUSBAND

Of course. There always is, isn’t there,

Natalie.

HUSBAND’S ATTORNEY

Shhh. No talking.

NATALIE

What is it now?

NATALIE’S ATTORNEY

Although Natalie filed for her birthright, it seems

that per the laws of royal inheritance from XXX,

as you know Natalie’s mother was a princess,

Natalie must claim the birthright in person

within two years of the royal passing or forfeit

her estate.

NATALIE

No money.

HUSBAND

(grim chuckle)

NO Money. Can’t make the prenup. No divorce.

HUSBAND’S ATTORNEY

My client may be out of line but he is nonetheless

correct. Please advise when this matter is resolved.

Husband and his attorney shove away from the table and depart.

NATALIE

That was just for negotiation purposes, right?

NATALIE’S ATTORNEY

No. I’ve asked my assistant to contact a travel agent

for you.

NATALIE

I’ve never been out of the country since my honeymoon.

NATALIE’S ATTORNEY

As you know I represented your mother and her estate.

If you fail to retain the estate I will represented the estate’s

interests.

NATALIE

There must be another way to resolve this.

NATALIE’S ATTORNEY

If I may be direct. I am quite certain that if you do not satisfy

this birthright stipulation I will be obligated to seize all your

funds and evict you.

[Pam Ewing]

Lesson 10 Pam Ewing’s Inciting Incident

I learned to add more stress on the character but what I confronted in me is my lack of commitment. I can’t commit to a script decision so I don’t finish. So this is me making a non-decision and fumbling forward anyway. This is more like a 5% there draft.

Inciting Incident in concept

Pre incident:

· Natalie is a phony working online with a greenscreen background that she’s really somewhere else.

· It has been 2 years since her mother died. She must go to the will reading – the attorney insists.

· Her ex shows up to take her to the reading. She’s happy to see him but it comes out as anger.

· He says the attorney ‘hired’ him to get her to the reading – nothing virtual.

· He literally kidnaps her to get her to the reading.

Inciting Incident:

· AT reading Natalie is given charge to go to her homeland and claim her birthright within a the next month/during a period of full moon/blue moon (happen about every 2 years)/??

· She is given a necklace she recalled her mother wearing when she was a child

· She’s given travel instructions and a travel coordinator

· Her ex is also given a letter but we don’t yet know what’s in the letter

· She starts wearing the necklace

Reaction to Incident:

· Natalie connects with the travel coordinator

· Coordinator has luckily found a translator guide for her

· Natalie experiences weird sensations and faints in a hot spell

· She thinks she’s getting menopause

[Pam Ewing]

Lesson 8: Pam Ewing’s Theme and Antagonist’s Journey

INT. MOTHER’S BEDROOM – DAY

Frazzled Natalie is so concerned over her mother’s monitors and doctor’s calls that she misses out on time with her dying mother. Theme discussed when is it too old to take chance. Are risks worth it?

INT. HOUSE – DAY

Natalie isn’t focused her husband. He tries to be supportive but she inconsolable and tells him to get out. He packs and she frets. Husband departs but reminds Natalie that life is for living like her mother lived, fully alive.

INT. MOTHER’S BEDROOM – DAY

Mother has Natalie’s attention. Gives Nat her necklace and says it will open doors for her and she will need to unlock many secrets in life. Mother dies. Natalie feels a weird electricity as her mother passes. Natalie withdraws into overly planning her visit to honor her mother’s wishes.

INT. HOUSE – DAY

Natalie cleans up what had been her mother’s bedroom and realizes that she is well and truly alone. She feels a hot flash that she comments is early menopause as something disintegrates at her touch but she thinks it is just because the thing was old. Natalie calls the doctor for testing.

INT. LAWYER’S CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY

A few people are gathered for the reading of Natalie’s mother’s will. Her husband slips in at the last minute.

Standard bequeaths and a letter to each Natalie and her husband. Natalie has words with husband that cause her another hot flash that causes a gust of wind to knock things over. She regrets arguing as soon as he leaves but does not pursue him and consoles herself that this is her new freedom. Natalie withdraws into overly planning her visit to honor her mother’s wishes. Her husband tries to intervene but eventually leaves.

INT. LAWYER’S CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY

Natalie reads her letter to undertake a quest for her ancestral birthright. The attorney office hands her an additional info which again causes an electric response in her. She questions her ability to complete the task.

EXT. AIRPORT – DAY

Natalie arrives and meets a taxi driver who takes her to her hotel. He suggests that she visit a particular restaurant in the market square and have her fortune told. She sees a man being cruel to a local and another man (she can’t see his face but this is who will later be her guide – Antag.) She and her necklace flash in anger. Her response is a glimmer of renewed life. Her vibes awaken anger and a challenge in the Antag.

INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Natalie meets the fortune teller who discusses water, earth, fire are elements of powers of the people of the land. Fortune teller does a little hocus pocus and reveals no power for Nat. Natalie is deflated. The fortune teller is shooed away by Natalie’s husband causing hot flash with confusion, concern and an argument about who left who. The table’s candle flares, waitress trips spilling water putting out the flame. Hot flash gone and natural explanation for supernatural? Natalie feels that she has tried to be more engaged in life but lacking an ancestral power shows her that she’s better off shut down – damn – then husband challenges her.

EXT. HOTEL – DAY

Natalie meets her local guide (antag) who is going to help her navigate the bureaucratic process for declaring

ancestral ties to become citizen. Natalie feels safe in the process. The Antag is burned by her necklace when it shines on him. He asserts his authority with smugness.

INT. CITY ADMINISTRATION – DAY

Antag is clearly paying people off and Natalie thinks that this is part of the service but Antag is really setting her up. She agrees to see the countryside and come back to the paperwork hell tomorrow. While departing city hall her husband joins them over Antag’s objections. Antag had a different experience planned for her to eliminate her before she made any inroads in her claims. Antag wants to reveal his power. Nat and husband argue over the purpose of being there and how to honor her mother – paperwork or making connections.

EXT. COUNTRYSIDE – DAY

Antag gives local legend and points out a place they should stop and admire. While Natalie and husband bicker at a remote ruin, Antag desserts them. Rather than being upset, Natalie wants to explore and finds a fragrance drawing her that her husband cannot smell. They fall into an old, dry well. What to do but argue? Antag’s goons find them and decide they will keep until morning. Husband thinks he’s making headway in life while Natalie has no alternatives and is resigned to dying.

INT. DRY WELL – NIGHT

Having reached some peace, Natalie and her husband sleep and a warm dime light envelops them.

EXT. DRY WELL – DAY

A shaft of morning light shows a kind of lock. Natalie uses her necklace retrieve an artifact. Using the artifact

suddenly the well starts to fill with water and they are floated to up to the ground. Natalie suspects this might be more than menopause. Her husband tests her powers. Natalie has hope.

EXT. COUNTRYSIDE – DAY

Now wet and hungry they head for a nearby farm. The farmer doesn’t speak English but forces them into hiding when he sees goon approaching. The goons start to beat the farmer so Natalie runs out to protect them but her husband pushes her back and he goes out. He is caught and dragged away. Natalie has a purpose now to save her husband, not just run a bureaucratic errand.

INT. ANTAG’S CASTLE – DAY

Antag provides limited new information about Natalie’s threat to his ancestral power. Husband is attached to an ancient torture device. Natalie is carted back to the city by farmer. Antag gets to riff on his destiny and the power attached to it. He’s glad for the challenge of Natalie because it lets him test his power in a new way.

INT. RESTAURANT – DAY

Natalie finds the fortune teller and shows her the relic she found. The fortune teller shows her how to claim her birthright. She says she just wants to save her husband. Reluctantly, advising the this could end her claims and increase problems for the villagers, the fortune teller connects Natalie to people who will take her to the castle. Natalie embraces challenge without a plan.

EXT./INT. ANTAG’S CASTLE – DAY

Natalie floats up to the window that looks in on the torture chamber and sees her husband’s peril. Dissolving the artifact she is able to walk through the wall to her husband and free him. Antag appears and they battle. Natalie learns that he has powers but her power is wind that is able to defeat his fire. In trying to outwit and out-power her, Antag ends up turning himself into ashes. Natalie feels good about using up the artifact even if not in the most effective way because she’s with her husband. Antag monologues more to intimidate.

INT. ANTAG’S CASTLE – DAY

Natalie’s husband guides her into the main castle where they happen upon the truth of her birthright. She vows to sets the people free which dissolves her necklace. Working together with no plan seems to work.

EXT. HOTEL – DAY

The village which seems much the same but Nat and Husband see glimmers of change. Any regrets? Not a one! They leave the village to it’s own happily ever after and they make for home and whatever. Husband regrets that her powers are gone. She demonstrates that she’s still got them.

[Pam Ewing]

Lesson 9 Act 1 Opening & Character Introductions

I am embracing the fact this this draft only needs to be 20% of what I want from the final. Now writing this fast – yipes.

Pam Ewing’s Act 1: Opening Scene

INT. DYING MOTHER’S BEDROOM – DAY

Natalie arranges pillows and checks meds. She’s overbearingly attentive and chatty. Natalie leaves to answer the doorbell. Her mother breathes a sigh of relief.

INT. NATALIE’S HOUSE – DAY

Natalie rushes past her husband and chides him for not answering the doorbell. Her defends that he was on his way. The attorney arrives. Introduces to husband and escorts him to the mother’s room.

INT. DYING MOTHER’S BEDROOM – DAY

The mother and attorney get down to business while in the background Natalie and husband bicker. Natalie enters all sweetness and smiles with iced tea. Then she leaves and the bickering begins again.

Attorney asks if the mother can meet under these conditions. She says, of course, let them have their fun.

INT. NATALIE’S HOUSE – DAY

Natalie and husband continue their silly quarreling but the argument dies down without a conclusion. Husband does lay out the basic issue that she’s given up – of course she tends to her mother but she’s become overly cautious, solicitous, and lost her spark. She knows he’s right but she protests anyway.

[Pam Ewing]

Learned – Not sure I did it right but I am moving forward and learning to live with that -story keeps morphing anyway.

PAM’s High Speed Beat Sheet

INT. MOTHER’S BEDROOM – DAY

Frazzled Natalie is so concerned over her mother’s monitors

and doctor’s calls that she misses out on time with her

dying mother.

INT. HOUSE – DAY

Natalie isn’t focused on the person in front of her, her

husband. He tries to be supportive but she in inconsolable

and tells him to get out. He packs and she goes back to

fretting.

INT. MOTHER’S BEDROOM – DAY

Mother has Natalie’s attention. Gives Nat her necklace and

says it will open doors for her and she will need to unlock

many secrets in life. Mother dies. Natalie feels a weird

electricity as her mother passes.

INT. HOUSE – DAY

Natalie cleans up what had been her mother’s bedroom and

realizes that she is well and truly alone. She feels a hot

flash that she comments is early menopause as something

disintegrates at her touch but she thinks it is just because

the thing was old.

INT. LAWYER’S CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY

A few people are gathered for the reading of Natalie’s

mother’s will. Her husband slips in at the last minute.

Standard bequeaths and a letter to each Natalie and her

husband. Natalie has words with husband that cause her

another hot flash that causes a gust of wind to knock things

over. She regrets arguing as soon as he leaves but does not

pursue him and consoles herself that this is her new

freedom.

INT. LAWYER’S CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY

Natalie reads her letter and agrees to undertake the quest

for her ancestral birthright. The attorney office hands her

an additional packet of information which again causes an

electric response in her.

EXT. AIRPORT – DAY

Natalie arrives and meets a taxi driver who takes her to her

hotel. He notices her necklacer and suggests that she visit

a particular restaurant in the market square and have her

fortune told. She sees a man being cruel to a local and

another man (she can’t see his face but this is who will

later be her guide – Antag.) She and her necklace flash in

anger.

INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Natalie meets the fortune teller who discusses the water,

earth, fire are elements of powers of the people of the

land. Fortune teller does a little hocus pocus and reveals

nothing as Natalie’s power. Natalie is deflated. The fortune

teller is shooed away by Natalie’s husband causing hot flash

with confusion, concern and an argument about who left who.

The candle on the table flares and a waitress trips spilling

water in the table and putting out the flame. Hot flash gone

and natural explaination for supernatural?

EXT. HOTEL – DAY

Natalie meets her local guide (antag) who is going to help

her navigate the bureaucratic process for declaring

ancestral ties to become citizen.

INT. CITY ADMINISTRATION – DAY

Antag is clearly paying people off and Natalie thinks that

this is part of the service but Antag is really setting her

up. She agrees to see the countryside and come back to the

paperwork hell tomorrow. While departing city hall her

husband joins them over Antag’s objections. Antag had a

different experience planned for her to eliminate her before

she made any inroads in her claims.

EXT. COUNTRYSIDE – DAY

Antag gives local legend and points out a place they should

stop and admire. While Natalie and husband bicker at a

remote ruin, Antag desserts them. Rather than being upset,

Natalie wants to explore and finds a fragrance drawing her

that her husband cannot smell. They fall into an old, dry

well. What to do but argue? Antag’s goons cannot find them

despite their yells.

INT. DRY WELL – NIGHT

Having reached some peace, Natalie and her husband sleep and

a warm dime light envelops them.

EXT. DRY WELL – DAY

A shaft of morning light shows a kind of lock. Natalie uses

her necklace retrieve an artifact. Using the atifact

suddenly the well starts to fill with water and they are

floated to up to the ground. Natalie suspects this might be

more than menopause. Her husband tests her powers.

EXT. COUNTRYSIDE – DAY

Now wet and hungry they head for a nearby farm. The farmer

doesn’t speak English but forces them into hiding when he

sees goon approaching. The goons start to beat the farmer so

Natalie runs out to protect them but her husband pushes her

back and he goes out. He is caught and dragged away.

INT. ANTAG’S CASTLE – DAY

Antag provides limited amount of new information about

Natalie’s threat to his organization/ancestral power.

Husband is attached to an ancient torture device. Natalie is

carted back to the city by the farmer.

INT. RESTAURANT – DAY

Natalie finds the fortune teller and shows her the relic she

found. The fortune teller shows her how to claim her

birthright. She says she just wants to save her husband.

Reluctantly, advising the this could end her claims and

increase problems for the villagers, the fortune teller

connects Natalie to people who will take her to the castle.

EXT./INT. ANTAG’S CASTLE – DAY

Natalie floats up to the window that looks in on the torture

chamber and sees her husband’s peril. Dissolving the

artifact she is able to walk through the wall to her husband

and free him. Antag appears and they battle. Natalie learns

that he has powers but her power is wind that is able to

defeat his fire. In trying to outwit and out-power her,

Antag ends up turning himself into ashes.

INT. ANTAG’S CASTLE – DAY

Natalie’s husband guides her into the main castle where they

uncover the truth of her birthright. She creates a vow that

sets the people free which makes her necklace dissolve.

EXT. HOTEL – DAY

Natalie and her husband take a look at the village which

seems much the same but they see glimmers of change. Any

regrets? Not a one! They leave the village to it’s own

happily ever after and they make for home and whatever.

Husband regrets that her powers are gone. She demonstrates

that she’s still got them.

[Pam Ewing]

Natalie’s Transformational Events

What I learned – I am not at all writing the story I started with mentally and I’m not sure which story is stronger but I continue fumbling forward!

Old Ways – Passive, overly logical, planning as substitute for action

Sees estranged husband at will reading and puts up a front to maintain status quo even thought she doesn’t want to admit that she’d like to try to work things out

Forced into action by accepting her mother’s dying request to claim her ancestral birthright

Arrives in old country and bristles at her guide when she sees him being unnecessarily haughty and rude to another local – something falls apart at her touch and she blames hormones and nerves after traveling

She gains confidence and explores the local market on her own on her way to dinner – meets a woman who tries to explain the meaning of her necklace but doesn’t finish because she has a hot flash that sets fire to a vendor stall as she passes

Next day she fumes at the bureaucracy as guide smirks at her behind her back but a friend from home calls to check up on her and gives her some information about her ancestral homeland – she cuts off guide before he is rude to another local

She’s proud of herself for dining alone when her husband joins her – surprise. She is more curious than angry and they plan to tour her ancestral land together with the guide the next day – a strangely fragrant breeze surrounds them

Guide doesn’t like the husband coming along and on route the guide dumps them in the countryside to fend for themselves. She opens up to husband about strange experiences she’s having then they end up spending the night in a castle ruin not making to back to town but somehow they were not cold or wet overnight

They encounter a farmer who tells them about the evil controller who is the guide and she decides that she will stop his reign of terror and head to antag’s castle home

They break in and find a piece of the birthright cup that her necklace charm fits into. He comes home and catches them taking away the cup and her necklace and imprisons them

She is given an ultimatium to sign over her birthright or her husband will be executed. She finds the ability to focus her powers in a unique way which prompts a battle with the antag.

She is eager for battle and learns more about her powers as she fights. When it looks as though she has lost she finds a new power that is the secret of her birthright (air/wind to his fire)

She has the confidence to win, claim birthright and free the locls from his terror and the courage to be honest and open with her husband

[Pam Ewing]

Lesson 5 – 4-Act Transforaminal Structure Assignment

I learned that my ideas and pacing are not yet fitting great structure yet but 2^nd time thru was better – fumbling forward.

• Concept – While on an errand to reclaim birthright an emotional wallflower learns he’s not getting menopause, its superpowers

• Main Conflict – Learns of injustices in homeland and must find and defeat the evil forces

• Old Ways – give up, all-talk-no-go, negotiate logically

• New Ways – when invited to a fight then fighting is only polite

Act 1:

• Opening – preps for reading of will so everything will maintain the same, no changes/growth

• Inciting Incident – final request to regain birthright – given necklace to ‘open doors’

• Turning Point – puts on necklace, makes travel arrangements

Act 2:

• New plan/Reaction – Lost in new place, even the medical doctor is just some witch, new guide is only hope

• Plan in action – Everything seems to go wrong and physical menopause issues hold her back

• Midpoint Turning Point – learns husband has been shadowing her, guide is evil, and pains aren’t explainable by menopause

Act 3:

• Rethink everything – new program must use superpowers – test those out more, must fight evil – how to actively protect husband and people

• New plan – identify new strengths and villian’s weakness, using husband to strategize put him in harm’s way

• Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift – pumped for battle and using powers but villian’s weakness was a rouse and they land in an actual ancient dungeon

Act 4:

• Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict – embracing advice from witch uses different power to defeat the villain

• Resolution – has new position from freeing people from oppression and a new relationship with husband

[Pam Ewing]

Lesson 4 Interviews

Learned: Not happy with my story yet but fumbling forward to get that first draft. Step by step approach is helping fight internal questions/doubts/old habits/bad juju.

Protag: Natalie

Me? Not much to say. Since my mom died a few months ago nothing has color anymore. I was her caregiver. She was always more spirited than me that sometimes I wish it had been me who died instead.

Why me? Someone picked the wrong person. I work in accounting and that’s not exactly adventurous or known for deep introspection. ‘Spiritual Healing by the Numbers’ by Natalie Smith, future best seller. Oh it feels food to laugh again.

This will be a difficult journey because I like to know where I’m going and why and have a good plan. Just ask my husband because it drives – er drove – him crazy.

I expect that hotel accommodations might not be up to snuff in my mother’s homeland. They probably eat very fatty foods but good breads. I’m packing vitamins.

I don’t mean to be so glib with your questions but how many internal resources will it take to file some paperwork?

I’m an open and mostly empty book. You are reading way too much into what my qualities and qualifications are. I love my mother and doing this for her so I guess that motivation that should trump any qualms I have about signing some dusty forms.

I am not good at standing up for myself and don’t speak the language but I have planned to over come this by hiring a service. They promise a fluent multi-lingual guide who is not intimidated by local bureaucrats.

I could use some time away from home that reminds me of the issues with my husband. Maybe after this trip I’ll feel like going back to work and getting back into life.

I don’t have any conflict. I weed that out. I keep balanced ledgers in all areas of my life.

Antag: Odon

I don’t know that you need to know anything about me. I am descendant of warrior kings.

The concept of king may have died in this remote part of the world but I still control and wield power. I like to, as you say, blend in. Like a snake in the grass. There is more power in controlling the powerful. That is me. I have minions to service any problems from weaknesses. These weaknesses would not be mine but sometimes the people I control have disquieting ideas.

I plan to meet Natalie because she is a distant relative of sorts. If her intentions do not interfere with mine then I can help her with her mission and put her on a plane. My life will continue well. If she has other intentions then I will bend her to my will.

I have no competition, as you call it. Maybe I have just become lazy because things have been much the same for generations. So I have found ways to enjoy life and that should never be threatened. It is for me. For my forefathers and to maintain the prophecies.

I suppose my secret would be that I am often bored. There is no one at my level – background, understanding, intellect, physical power. I am watchful, not fearful, of an alternative ending to certain prophecies. As long as I am not threatened, I see no need to be cruel.

[Pam Ewing]

What I learned is that I enjoy playing with concepts in my mind but it is hard to bring characters into story-driven focus.

Character Profile Natalie

Drawn to her because she is sweet, sunny, trustworthy, best friend-type who is a bit lost after the loss of her mother and estrangement from her husband

Traits: Pure hearted but lacks a backbone, often confused because other’s opinions are stronger and she wants to be a good person

Subtext: more than she realizes she want a family to connect with and support her

Flaw: Since she is trying to fit in and support other people it is hard for people to help her and they find her wishy-washy and difficult

Values: kindness, family, she has a fairy tale idealized life she wants to have

Irony: fairy tale fluff and being a doormat to others just pushes what she wants further away and causes her to make bad decisions

Right for role: At loose ends and needs change, needs to grow a spine, needs confidence in her goals and decisions

Character Profile Alex (Natalie’s estranged husband)

What draws us in is that he seems to still be protective of Natalie and maybe still cares for her but he’s maintaining a healthy distance.

Traits: Good humor, takes things one day at a time, comes off gruff and unconcerned, quick to pick up on deceit which is one of the reasons he worked with open hearted Natalie, loves to get money but it is often lost on some “investment”

Subtext: he wants to connect but he’s tired of fighting, he’s been rejected

Flaw: trusts his gut and muscles too much, sometimes too cavelier

Values: Maybe he’s exmilitary or an attorney because he wants the world to work a certain way where good people are defended and come out on top

Irony: How could he loose sweet Natalie who wants fairness too – because by her always trying to be supportive he is unneeded and he feels he can never connect to the real person he thought she was

He’s right for this because he is trying to work out what he wants out of this relationship and he’s financially motivated

[Pam Ewing]

Hero – Natalie

Externally she has just lost her mother who she was caregiver to. She blames the estrangement from her husband on the time she devoted to her mother but her friends have hinted that she was just using her mother’s illness as an excuse because she didn’t want to invest more in the marriage. She thinks she’s even started to experience early menopause symptoms.

Internally she’s wiped of positive emotions, hopes, and goals and has no interest in returning to the normal world that she used to enjoy.

At the reading of her mother’s will she is presented with a dying request, a quest to claim a birthright that she never knew existed. She thinks that this is a matter of traveling to a remote section of Europe, doing some research, filing some forms. What she will learn is that the birthright endows supernatural powers that she must fight to gain.

=

Old ways – Wimp, withdrawn, defeated, used up, can’t even argue

New ways – action for answers, answers toward justice for her and then for the ability to save others (not just hospice care)

=

What I learned. I am totally feeling unempowered of late. I have a superpower concept that I enjoy so I’m hanging an empowerment plot on it (for now).

[Pam Ewing]

I agree to the terms of this release form.

[Pam Ewing]

Hi I’m Pam.

I’ve written many sitcoms (specs and pilots) and a few screenplays. I have many new concepts bubbling up and being washed away with my own apathy/fear. This waste of creative product is the most wasteful thing I do. My plan it to use this class to embrace completion. The empowerment attempts are difficult. I like some of the signoff’s like Doug’s “onward”. I’m going to get me one of those!

Testing/Liftoff

pam

[Pam Ewing]

I love ancient and unknown things. Sounds very moody and rich.

[Pam Ewing]

sounds like a very novel concept!

[Pam Ewing]

I am terrified already. Good visual monster!

[Pam Ewing]

Very cool to have a “published” designation. Gives one ‘goosebumps’!

[Pam Ewing]

You must be so strong. Sorry you had to drop it. It must be a tough life change when you are at such a high competitive level. My sister was into archery. She scooped ice cream at Baskin Robbins to build muscles.

[Pam Ewing]

Hi Jeff, I’ve caught up so I am looking forward to reviewing your outline tomorrow. Mine is much slimmer and less ambitious. I can’t believe you are advancing so quickly with so many projects in the works!

[Pam Ewing]

Hi Heather, Hope things we well. Just wanted to let you know that I am only about half way through Mod 4 and only 2-3 guys are ahead of me – so you can catch up if you want. Girl Power!! Pam

[Pam Ewing]

I’m not yet caught up to you and Marc but I wanted to encourage you. I can see this movie and it is a good big theatric draw. Congrats.

[Pam Ewing]

I have to applaud you for not only a great story but your work ethic in moving everything forward. I have faith you’ll make your goals!

[Pam Ewing]

Rich characters for an active area!

[Pam Ewing]

I thought ARGO was an interesting choice. I see how the chess master maneuvering and low key suspense (not a lot of gun action) is a good fit to the poker world.

[Pam Ewing]

Wow. Congrats. I thought about doing Gravity but I didn’t think I could find the elements — And here you have it all laid out.

[Pam Ewing]

I think this is the hardest kind of story to write. It is unique, rare look into other cultures, and you’ve created emotional stakes. Very ambitious!

[Pam Ewing]

So interesting. True stories sell and this has a lot of intrigue. Is it you? I like Mark’s suggestion. We are so early in the process that you will probably find even more ways to maybe let go of some actual events and really ramp up on the cinematic while keeping true to the spirit. I think poker stories are popular as I can think of half a dozen off the top of my head so you could get a lot of traction here – and based on true!

[Pam Ewing]

I like it! So many parts are already activated in your story that you are already building the script. Congrats.

[Pam Ewing]

wow – global and epic and mystical. I see big box office.

[Pam Ewing]

I am always impressed with how many differently themed sermons can come from the same passage of scripture. SO this is great and inspiring on several levels. Would it help if you just built from one concept knowing that the others are coming? Keep going! I’m a sucker for sci-fi because it allows for action and morality tales.