Trish
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Lesson 24 Trish’s Filled In Missing Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is that I could take 2 weeks to finish this exercise. Instead, I made script notes where I want to add more later.
1. Do a quick read of your script to pinpoint possible missing scenes. When you discover one, put a placeholder that you can return to.
I think I have a lot of things to fill in, beyond what I’ve noted in script notes. I need to finish writing all my placeholder scenes and reassess then. Overall, the story moves too quickly and is too short.
2. For each missing scene, create a quick outline.
Done for existing scenes.
3. Write a high speed first draft for the most important of those scenes.
Need to do later.
4. Tell us what scenes you added and why.
N/A
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Lesson 23
Trish’s Act 3 (4) Resolution
What I learned doing this assignment is that this act is likely way too short. It’s all I’ve got for now though, as far as plot.
1. Outline Key Scene 4.
Key Scene 4: Resolution – Wrap it up and show us the new status quo.
EXT. LAKE PATH – DAY
Lucas tells Emma he’s going to ask the family if he can start a scholarship or program in the guy’s name to bring back his good name. Lucas will start writing fiction or something.
She admits how helpful it was to partner with Lucas on this adventure (?).
EMMA
I’ve gotta go. Some calls to make. Some apologies to make.
LUCAS
I guess people can change. Look at us.
EMMA
Only when they’re good and ready.
INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY
Emma calls her dad and gives him an update. She apologizes for losing touch. He does too. She says how she felt abandoned after Mom died. He didn’t know. He feels terrible. They make plans to get together.
She cries after she hangs up. Freshens up, then calls her ex and apologizes for her part in their breakup. Maybe they consider giving it another go. She hints that she’ll quit her job. Find something less stressful.
2. Write Key Scene 4: Resolution – Wrap it up and show us the “new normal.”
Will do later.
3. Write any other scenes for the Act or do some edits on scenes if you’ve completed every scene you outlined.
I’ve outlined every scene.
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Lesson 22
Trish’s Act 3 (4) Climax
What I learned doing this assignment is that even little improvements day-by-day are still progress. It doesn’t have to be leaps and bounds every day to qualify.
1. Outline Key Scene 3.
INT. EMMA’S ROOM – NIGHT
Using the new internet access, they research keystroke logging but her access won’t let her b/c of her work computer’s software. She’s able to email her dad, whom she’s estranged from, and ask for help.
He emails her to set up account with “Wire” and he can call her on it. A few minutes later, they are all on a video call. Since it’s lesser know, it shouldn’t be blocked.
She gives the basic situation. He tells her she needs forensic imaging software and he sends a link to get it. That will enable them to copy Richard’s hard drive as evidence.
The dad says to look for a cell phone jammer that is preventing people from making calls. Richard uses the wilderness as an excuse. They need to disable it but preserve it as evidence, since it’s illegal. They need to split up and do both things at the same time and hide until the cops arrive.
Lucas says they should call the FBI, because they think Richard has an arrangement with the local cops. The dad can call them now.
EXT. HOTEL ROOF – NIGHT
Emma finds a way up to the roof. She finds the jammer. She grabs it and turns it off.
Montage of phones going nuts with saved text and calls coming through.
INT. RICHARD’S OFFICE – NIGHT
Lucas goes in when Richard leaves. Sam unlocks the door. Lucas copies the hard drive.
EXT. HOTEL ROOF – NIGHT
Richard confronts Emma on the roof. He has a gun. They exchange words at first. She tries to hide. He wants the jammer back, but she can’t let him destroy it.
Her phone is dinging with texts, but she can’t look at it now.
She tries to “talk him down”. She bluffs/hopes that the authorities are on their way. He’s done for.
He shoots at her. Then she tosses the jammer to him. He smashes it.
He wants her phone too. She throws it and he reads the texts. Dad says FBI is on their way.
Richard walks to the edge of the roof. Emma tries to stop him, but he jumps.
2. Write Key Scene 3: Climax – The Ultimate Expression of The Conflict.
Will do later.
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Lesson 21
Trish’s Act 3 (4) First Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is that my outline was terribly insufficient. Definitely making things up as I go along, which is why I’m hesitant to write all the scenes at this stage.
1. Outline Key Scene 1 and 2.
Key Scene 1: Reaction to Act 2B Turning Point
INT. HALLWAY – WEDNESDAY NIGHT
Emma wonders what Richard meant. Was her mother not dead at all? Was it not cancer? She knew she shouldn’t have got involved! This wasn’t her problem to solve.
They arrive at Emma’s room.
Emma says they need to stay in Lucas’s room b/c of Richard messing with her door. But Lucas says they may get locked in together. she asks about using tape on the inner lock. He says, this is more sophisticated than Watergate. They agree to meet downstairs at 8:00 and if one isn’t there, the other will check on them. And if they’re block locked in, the hotel phones still work, they think. Will talk tomorrow.
Key Scene 2: Protagonist Faces Their Dilemma
EXT. LAKE PATH – DAY
Emma and Lucas walk and make a new plan.
They shouldn’t have confronted Richard, especially bluffing. Was he bluffing too?
What do they do now? Stop and let him win? Face the consequence of stopping him?
Lucas promises to help her investigate her mother’s death. Richard’s probably bluffing. They know he’s started lying to protect himself.
She tells him that if he hasn’t faced charges yet, he probably won’t. Maybe you could do something charitable in the guy’s name, to redeem his good name.
The retreat is over tomorrow. They know Richard hasn’t been violent yet, but he also can’t allow them to leave without coming to an understanding. Would he kill them?
Lucas says something with the word “remote” in it.
Emma remembers that she can access her work computer remotely, so if that website isn’t blocked, they’re free to research and contact people via email or IM. Her work computer restricts sites too, so don’t be too eager.
2. Write Key Scene 1: Reaction to 3rd Act Turning Point.
Will do later.
3. Write Key Scene 2: Protagonist faces their Dilemma.
Will do later.
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Lesson 20
Trish’s Completed Act 3 (2B)
What I learned doing this assignment is that only my villain has any personality. Plus I think every scene is a talking head scene. More things to fix in the next draft.
1. Outline any scenes left for Act 3.
Done in Final Draft.
2. Write the outlined scenes.
I did thorough outlines, so I will write the remaining scenes next go ‘round.
3. Do a quick read of Act 3 and make whatever improvements you’d like.
Done.
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Lesson 19 Trish’s Act 2B Turning Point
What I learned doing this assignment is that as helpful as outlining the scene is, you continue to learn more about the scene when you’re writing it.
1. Outline Key Scene 4 – Turning Point 3.
Beginning: Worried about more people dying or being injured, Emma and Lucas confront Richard. (they’ll decide/discuss this in the previous scene)
Middle: They know some about his past, but it isn’t the leverage they thought it would be. They know about the messages too, but so what. he threatens Emma that she’ll never know the truth about her mother if she proceeds and Lucas will face charges such as wrongful death, defamation, maybe even involuntary manslaughter or negligent homicide.
End: defeated, they leave
2. Write Turning Point 3 – Protagonist faces their lowest low.
Done.
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Lesson 18 Trish’s Act 2B Middle Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is that I’m not sure if I picked the key scenes right. I have a ton of placeholders still, so I might pick others later.
1. Outline Key Scenes 2 & 3.
Did this in Lesson 17.
2. Write Key Scene 2: Makes a new plan.
Done.
3. Write Key Scene 3: Things go well, until…
Done.
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Lesson 17 Trish’s Act 2B Reaction to Midpoint
What I learned doing this assignment is that I had a structure problem big time. I made notes for fixing it in the next draft. I got really stuck on this act.
1. Using your Beat Sheet, outline your Act 3 Key Scenes.
Key Scene 1: React/Rethink the new reality revealed by Midpoint and Key Scene 2: Makes a new plan. (I don’t know how to separate these two. My characters are making plans while reacting.)
Beginning: Lucas says again that they need to work together. People are dying for god’s sake!
Middle: Emma brings up his case as proof that he’s no good. He says that one mistake doesn’t erase decades of good work. He convinces her to team up for their own safety. She shares what she knows about Olivia. They have to trust each other and share info. They have to tread carefully but also work quickly.
End: Earplug strategy shared. Turn music off. They agree to swap rooms as a test.
Key Scene 3: Things start going well, until…
Beginning: Guests we don’t know are fighting. One guest throws something at the other and knocks them out. They call for help. Hearing screams, Emma listens in from nearby.
Middle: The doctor arrives and treats them. They need to go to the hospital. Richard calls the EMTs. The person is hauled out. The other person freaks out.
End: Richard tells them it’ll be okay. He knows the police. Don’t worry. We can make this go away. Richard comforts the person. Emma retreats.
Key Scene 4: Turning Point – Protagonist faces their lowest low.
Beginning: Worried about more people dying or being injured, Emma and Lucas confront Lucas.
Middle: They know some about his past, but it isn’t the leverage they thought it would be. They know about the messages too, but so what. he threatens Emma that she’ll never know the truth about her mother if she proceeds and Lucas will face charges such as wrongful death, defamation, maybe even involuntary manslaughter or negligent homicide.
End: defeated, they leave
2. Write Key Scene 1: Reaction/Rethink.
Will do this later. I want to keep going with this bigger picture stuff.
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Lesson 16
Trish’s Completed Act 2 Draft 1
What I learned doing this assignment is that I really liked outlining all the scenes at once, before writing them individually. It was easier to make changes quickly and see the bigger picture.
1. Outline any scenes that you haven’t gotten to yet from Act 2.
Beginning: Emma questions the bartender about people having dreams.
Middle: They won’t engage with her. Olivia’s husband, Marcus, is around. She questions him. His dreams are fine. He thinks Olivia is overreacting. He believes she’s fine. Lucas is watching these conversations in the background. No one notices him.
End: Emma’s perplexed that he’s not having the dreams also.
Beginning: Emma’s working out
Middle: She has a vision or a memory pops into her head. It’s not just dreams now. This one is about her as a child playing alone in her room. Her dad watches tv by himself.
End: She puts her earbuds in and cranks her music up. This helps.
Beginning: At the front desk, a guest comes up mad. She says her ring was stolen.
Middle: The staff calls for Richard. He listens and tells her that the staff is trustworthy and honest and that they’ll find the ring. He asks what it looks like, etc. Next shot, they’re in the room and Richard finds it’s rolled under the bathroom counter, by the floor. He says they’ll clean it and bring it back. The guest is embarrassed.
End: he’s back with the shiny ring.
Beginning: Emma wakes up startled.
Middle: She fights off tears. Frustrated, she opens the laptop. Makes some notes.
End: shot of her working in the night
(this is boring – maybe need less of her dreams or more interest to them)
3 short scenes (not sure if they need to be all together):
1) Lucas does online research about the hotel. It’s all clean. Richard spies on his online activities.
2) Lucas talks to Sam or other staff, more discreetly than Emma does. More stealth maybe.
3) He talks to Emma about sharing knowledge. Tells her she’s too bold, cavalier. She rebuffs him.
(on hold for now – more scenes of the nightmares and aftermath?)
Beginning: Emma’s walking down the hall.
Middle: The guy we saw in the superhero dream grabs her to talk. He tells her of his dream. Another one that doesn’t seem like a big problem. He’s embarrassed though. He works for stodgy firm, might lose his job.
End: he asks her to help.
Tiny scene:
over the intercom, Richard invites any guest to talk to him if they are suffering in any way. He reminds them of the spa offerings to release stress.
(not sure if this would go better in Act 2B)
Two scenes back to back:
1) Richard’s on the phone with family member of guest. Richard explains that they had a heart attack and the doctor on staff did everything they could. The local authorities will deliver the body to the morgue for them to arrange transport home.
2) Coroner picks up the body. He asks if it’s another “heart attack”. Richard says yes. There’s some indication that Richard is paying this person off.
Tiny scene:
Emma puts her earbuds in again and feels more peaceful, like before. She sleeps with earplugs as a test.
Beginning: in his office, Richard types into his computer.
Middle: a message of suicide ideation appears, peaceful romping through the fields type image, seeing loved ones, etc.
End: hits send
Tiny scene:
Maria gets notified that Richard wants to see her (this is after he talks to Olivia but before the suicide message)
Beginning: Marcus wakes up and can’t wake up Olivia. He sees a pill bottle. Calls for the doctor.
Middle: Doctor can’t revive her.
End: Marcus cries or something.
2 scenes:
1) Emma joins the scene. Lucas is already there and tells her what happened. She screams at Richard. Blaming him. Lucas pulls her away.
2) He says again that they need to work together, but she brings up his case as proof that he’s no good. He says that one mistake doesn’t erase decades of good work. He convinces her to team up for their own safety.
2. Write out those scenes.
I’m not going to write them yet. This Act is possibly too long and Act 1 is too short. I’ll wait till I get further along and see what the next act is like.
3. With those scenes done, do a quick read of Act 2 and add/improve anything you’d like.
Done
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Lesson 15
Trish’s Act 2 TP – Midpoint
What I learned doing this assignment is that I had a big plot hole in this scene and Emma kept poking holes in it. Dang it! I left it in for now with a note to revisit it later. I was getting stuck on it.
1. Outline your Key Scene 4: The Midpoint.
Beginning: Olivia is freaking out. She gets Emma outside to talk.
Middle: She shares the details of the dream and tells her it’s all true. She killed a patient. Then she reveals it was on purpose. Olivia doesn’t want to tell her husband or go to jail.
End: Emma realizes that whoever is doing this has intimate knowledge of the guests.
2. Write the Midpoint scene.
Done in Final Draft.
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Lesson 14
Trish’s Act 2 Middle Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is it can be hard to pick these key scenes. I have a ton of placeholder scenes left.
1. Outline Key Scenes 2 & 3.
Key Scene 2:
Beginning: Emma approaches a guest to discuss the dreams. They’re suspicious
Middle: She shares her plan and some of her dream so they open up.
End: She learns how personal the dream is. She finds another guest to repeat the process with.
Key Scene 3:
Beginning: Olivia cries in her room. The front desk says the manager would like to see her.
Middle: She meets with Richard. He reveals he knows about the dreams and has 2 options for her. We learn why he’s doing this.
End: She doesn’t make a deal.
2. Write Key Scene 2: Protagonist takes on a plan and executes it.
3. Write Key Scene 3: Not only does their plan fail, but…
I’m not going to keep copying/pasting from Final Draft here, since it’s not being graded. It’s a bit of a hassle.
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Lesson 13
Trish’s Act 2 Reaction to TP 1
What I learned doing this assignment is to keep going even though I don’t have all the beats figured out yet.
1. Using your Beat Sheet, outline Key Scene 1.
Emma talks to some staff. Gets nowhere with cleaning ladies.
Emma observes hotel guests. Makes notes.
Emma does online research. Someone watches her internet activity.
2. Write the “Reaction to the Turning Point” scene. (this took a few scenes to get out)
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY – DAY
A cleaning cart blocks a hallway. Two cleaning ladies do their thing.
Emma tries to eavesdrop on them by standing out of sight in the entryway of a neighboring room.
CLEANING LADY 1
I told him, “stop playing video games”. It’s too much.
CLEANING LADY 2
It’s no good. They don’t listen.
This not being a helpful conversation, Emma pretends to exit that room and “happen” upon the ladies.
EMMA
Oh, hi there.
CLEANING LADY 1
Hi. Do you need something?
EMMA
I was wondering if I could ask you some questions.
The ladies exchange glances and shrug.
CLEANING LADY 2
About what?
EMMA
Something weird is happening here. Everyone keeps having nightmares.
CLEANING LADY 1
Bad dreams?
EMMA
Yes, everyone. It’s like it’s somehow on purpose.
They exchange glances again.
CLEANING LADY 2
We don’t know anything about that.
CLEANING LADY 1
Sam has been here a long time. Maybe he knows something.
Her friends shushes her.
CLEANING LADY 2
I heard Mercury is in retrograde. I bet that’s it.
Not the worst idea Emma’s ever heard.
EMMA
When’s it over? Do you know?
CLEANING LADY 2
2 more weeks, I think.
EMMA
We’ll be gone by then, in one way or another…Okay, thanks.
She leaves.
INT. HOTEL SITTING AREA – DAY
Emma sits with her iPad, pretending to read. She looks around to watch whatever guests are around. If they’re close, she listens in.
She makes some notes in the iPad.
EXT. LAKE PATH – DAY
Emma strolls along, looks for other guests to observe. A couple walks up ahead. (The woman is MARIA, who had the lesbian dream.)
Emma gets close enough to listen.
HUSBAND
You sure, you’re okay?
MARIA
Yes, stop asking me.
HUSBAND
You seem off.
MARIA
Stop analyzing me. That’s my job.
Maria notices Emma behind them.
EMMA
Oh, sorry. I’ll just —
She walks around them as if they were too slow. Oops.
INT. EMMA’S ROOM – DAY
Emma sits at the desk in her room with her laptop open.
She types into Bing and the words appear on the screen:
“mercury retrograde”
Results pop up. Specific phrases stand out.
“travel interruptions, communication errors, technology malfunctions”
She types in the AI (CoPilot) section:
“Can it cause bad dreams?”
Answer appears.
“No, bad dreams can come from stress…”
She jots another note in her iPad and looks over her existing notes. Goes back to Bing and types:
“Lucas McNare”
A ton of articles by him appear.
INT. OFFICE – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Elsewhere, on a computer monitor, everything Emma’s searching for is being duplicated here. No one is in the office at the moment.
BACK TO EMMA
She looks at the article titles. One of the search results looks different from the others:
“Salmon Recovery Plan”, “City Hall Investigation”, “Rapist killed in prison”
She clicks on the 3rd one.
“Convicted rapist, Dwayne Cooper, was killed in prison by other inmates”
A photo catches her eye.
In it, Lucas sits in a courtroom in the public seating area. The rapist is the defendant.
She types again:
“Lucas McNare + Dwayne Cooper”
A few articles pop up. She clicks on the most recent.
“Dwayne Cooper absolved of crime, posthumously.”
She reads it and talks aloud.
EMMA
Investigation by Lucas McNare leads to conviction…overturned…after death of the defendant.
She ponders this.-
This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by Trish McRae.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by
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Lesson 12 Trish’s Finished Act 1
What I learned doing this assignment is to keep encouraging myself to keep going even though I’m behind and there’s still more to do in Act 1.
ACT 1
EXT. HOTEL – DAY
An exquisitely beautiful hotel abuts a gorgeous, clear lake. Tall trees surround them. This quaint, secluded locale offers hope to stressed out vacationers. “We help you forget your worries,” it screams.
An airport van drives up the solitary lane. Adult passengers (no kids) file out, grab their bags and head inside.
INT. HOTEL LOBBY – DAY
Two female clerks smile at the guests and usher them up to the counter.
RICHARD BLACKWELL, the hotel manager, stands off to the side, observing. Early 50s, expensive suit, clean shaven – he’s very much in charge.
An elderly bellhop, SAM HARRIS, grabs bags. He’s so old, the guests are scared to let him pick up the bags.
RANDOM GUEST
I got it. I’ll just keep it with me.
Sam grabs the bags anyway.
SAM
We’re a full-service hotel here. Don’t you worry, sir.
EMMA HARPER approaches the counter. She’s in her 30s or 40s, burned out from her senior level marking position at a tech company, soon to be divorced. Wants to relax now, if you don’t mind.
HOTEL CLERK
Good afternoon, Ms. Harper.
EMMA
Hi, can you make sure my room is not near the elevator or stairwell? I need peace and quiet.
HOTEL CLERK
Oh, um, let me check. That may be hard to do. Our hotel is not that large and all rooms have a lake view, so we have multiple stairwells.
Richard senses trouble.
EMMA
Just my luck. First someone spills coffee on me in the van and now this.
HOTEL CLERK
Don’t worry.
EMMA
I knew I shouldn’t have had my assistant make the reservation.
Richard comes to help the clerk.
RICHARD
Everything okay?
HOTEL CLERK
Just looking for the quietest room for Ms. Harper.
Richard points to the screen, since they can’t say the numbers out loud.
RICHARD
I hope this will meet your needs and more. Our one desire at [hotel name] is for guests to relax and be at peace.
The clerk writes the number on the little envelope and hands Emma the key cards.
EMMA
Thanks. I appreciate it.
RICHARD
Please let us know if there’s ever anything you need.
She nods.
INT. HOTEL LOUNGE – LATER
Emma heads to the bar, having left her bags in the room.
EMMA
(to the bartender)
Sauvignon blanc, please.
Bartender nods.
Emma gets her phone out.
A woman, DR. OLIVIA TURNER, similar in age, drink in hand, approaches her.
OLIVIA
That won’t work you know.
Emma looks up.
EMMA
Huh?
OLIVIA
Phones don’t work here. At least, there’s no cell service. You can use the hotel wifi.
She points to a little sign on the bar.
EMMA
Ah.
She types in the password.
OLIVIA
Hi, I’m Olivia.
EMMA
Emma.
Emma gets her drink and they sit.
OLIVIA
Are you here for the week, too?
EMMA
Yeah, I think everyone has to book a week at a time, like a retreat.
OLIVIA
Oh right. My husband booked it. He’s over there with that guy.
EMMA
Which is which?
Olivia points to the men: MARCUS SANDER and LUCAS MCNARE.
Marcus, 40s, business man, weekend golfer, talks too much.
Lucas, 50s, wears an orthotic boot for a recent injury. Beer belly. Wears the weight of the world on his shoulders.
OLIVIA
Marcus on the left. I think the guy’s name is Lucas. If you want me to find out more about him, I can ask Marcus later.
EMMA
Oh, no thanks. I’m here alone and glad to be that way.
OLIVIA
Got it. I hope we can be friends at least.
Emma can’t think of a polite, yet truthful, reply.
EMMA
Sure.
She gazes out the huge window at the lake.
MONTAGE – GUESTS ENJOYING THE SPA
–Guests in a yoga class.
–Guests in hydrotherapy pool.
–Lucas doing exercises with personal training working on his injured leg.
–Olivia and Marcus meditate with a group by the lake.
–Emma receives a hot stone massage.
END OF MONTAGE
INT. HOTEL – DAY
Olivia sits in a seating area, ostensibly reading, but bored. She spots Emma walking nearby. She jumps up to walk with her.
OLIVIA
Hi Emma.
EMMA
Hi.
OLIVIA
Do you want to go for a walk or something?
EMMA
Oh, um, my legs are jello right now. Just had a massage.
OLIVIA
Ah. Maybe a drink later?
EMMA
Okay.
Emma walks off. Olivia retreats.
INT. EMMA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Emma sleeps in bed, the picture of comfort. Lush bedding. Sound of a river flowing plays in the background.
But she frets.
EMMA’S DREAM MONTAGE
— Emma and her husband, DANIEL, yell at each other. Snippets are heard in this well worn argument.
DANIEL
…missed dinner again…
EMMA
…deadline…job important…
— Daniel’s at a party without her, he checks his phone, looks at the door.
Emma’s at work with her colleagues, doing what it takes to get whatever it is done. Her phone lights up, but she doesn’t see it.
— Different day, Emma walks down the hall to their bedroom, but Daniel has moved into the spare room. She looks in as he closes the door in her face.
END OF DREAM
Emma’s eyes open. No crying or bolting out of bed for her. She turns over, readjusts, sighs. Should she try to go back to sleep?
After a few seconds, she gets up and finds her iPad, opens the Kindle app, and selects a book.
She settles in to read.
INT. HOTEL DINING AREA – MORNING
Olivia and Marcus, done with breakfast, prepare to leave the dining area. She spots Emma eating alone at a table.
OLIVIA
(to Marcus)
I’ll catch up with you later.
MARCUS
‘K.
Olivia approaches Emma.
OLIVIA
Mind if I join you?
Emma nods approval.
OLIVIA
Are you enjoying your trip so far?
EMMA
I don’t know.
Olivia gives a questioning face.
OLIVIA
I didn’t mean to pry.
EMMA
No, it’s just that I had a bad dream last night. I’m still trying to shake it off.
OLIVIA
Me too! It was about a patient. I’m a doctor.
EMMA
Oh. It was like I was there. I don’t want to be there. That’s why I came here!
OLIVIA
Yeah. I hear you.
EMMA
Not a good story about a patient, I presume.
OLIVIA
Nope.
EMMA
Weird. Maybe it’s just stress. It goes with you, I guess. Can’t leave it at home.
Emma sighs and stands up to leave the table and this heaviness.
EXT. LAKE PATH – AFTERNOON
Lucas rests on a bench by the lake. Emma approaches and looks around.
EMMA
Is this where the guided tour meets up?
LUCAS
Yeah, in a few minutes. Do you want to sit?
With no other options, she sits by him on the bench. Looks at her smartwatch.
LUCAS
Still in withdrawal?
EMMA
Excuse me.
LUCAS
(fingering his wrist where a watch would be)
From work mode. Anxiously waiting for a guided wilderness tour to begin…
EMMA
Oh yeah, I guess. It’s not a switch you just turn off. At least not one that’s been on for years.
LUCAS
Probably takes a while to slow down.
(lifting his injured leg)
Injuries help slow you down. Focus on what matters.
EMMA
Sorry. How’d you do it?
LUCAS
Nothing interesting. Tripped. Getting old, I guess.
EMMA
Are you still in work mode?
LUCAS
Trying not to be. I’m sort of retired.
EMMA
What did you do?
LUCAS
Investigative journalist for a local paper.
EMMA
A dying breed.
LUCAS
Journalists or papers?
EMMA
Both?
LUCAS
Agree. A private equity firm bought ours. I couldn’t stay.
EMMA
Couldn’t or wouldn’t?
He laughs.
LUCAS
Wouldn’t….and you?
Other guests appear for the tour.
EMMA
Marketing at a tech firm.
The tour guide appears.
TOUR GUIDE
Is everyone ready for the guided wilderness tour?
EMMA
(to Lucas)
That’s my cue.
LUCAS
Hey, I’m coming too.
TOUR GUIDE
This way everyone. These trees are evergreen, meaning they don’t change colors or lose their leaves…
INT. HOTEL LOBBY – DAY
Emma approaches the front desk. Richard’s there. He smiles warmly.
RICHARD
Ms. Harper, how may I help you today?
EMMA
Hi, I think the internet is down. I can’t access my work email.
RICHARD
To enhance the relaxation of our guests, we restrict some sites, such as work-related ones, to encourage guests to disconnect.
She scowls.
EMMA
So you choose what we can do on the internet?
RICHARD
We think of it as part of our immersive relaxation retreat.
She notices a landline on the counter, facing where a guest would stand.
EMMA
And wifi calling doesn’t seem to work either. Is this phone for guests to use?
RICHARD
Yes, we encourage it for emergencies only. Again, disconnecting is the idea.
EMMA
Uh huh.
INT. HOTEL DINING AREA – MORNING
Emma enters the dining area where guests are having breakfast. People chatter and look quite disturbed.
As she walks to the food area, she eavesdrops.
RANDOM GUEST
…had that dream again…
OTHER GUEST
…horrible…couldn’t stop it….
INT. HOTEL DINING AREA – MOMENTS LATER
As she eats, she continues to eavesdrop.
GUEST
…and then my father shot him!
OTHER GUEST
Damn! Didn’t you have the same dream yesterday?
GUEST
Yeah!
Emma eats, perplexed. It’s very weird. The hubbub is all about the dreams.
INT. HOTEL LOBBY – LATER
Emma spots the bellhop, Sam, leaning against the counter.
When he spots her, he stands upright, doffs his figurative cap.
SAM
Good morning, Ms. Harper. Is there anything I can get you today?
She looks at the two ladies at the front desk that he’s leaning on. She’s still across the lobby.
EMMA
I, uh, was wondering…
He reads her body language and comes over. They walk together down the hall.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS
SAM
You were wondering?
EMMA
Yes, it’s silly maybe, but I keep overhearing guests talking about having bad dreams.
SAM
Yes, I’ve heard that too.
EMMA
I’m having them too. It’s not just having-watched-a-scary-movie type thing.
SAM
Ya know, these things happen.
She makes a quizzical face, but goes on.
EMMA
It’s like, something about this place seems to be provoking them.
SAM
I’ve heard about people getting sick on vacation. Something about the immune system. Maybe it’s like that.
EMMA
But en masse?
SAM
Well, everyone arrived at the same time to experience this retreat.
EMMA
Not a relaxing retreat, is it?
SAM
We’re here if you need us.
Here for what she doesn’t know. He walks off.
Richard steps out of his office behind them, likely to have heard their conversation. He frowns.
INT. HOTEL – DAY
Guests are in various places in the hotel. The intercom turns on and they listen up.
INT. LOUNGE – CONTINUOUSEmma and Olivia sit together in the lounge, separately reading.
RICHARD
(through the intercom)
Good afternoon, [hotel name] guests. Just a friendly reminder to please remember to take advantage of the sleep sounds machine in your rooms, allowing you to listen to your choice of pleasing water and nature sounds to enhance a relaxing night’s rest. I’m also pleased to offer everyone one free spa treatment of their choice.
INT. HOTEL – CONTINUOUS
The guests “ooh” and “aah” over that part.
INT. LOUNGE – CONTINUOUS
After the intercom shut off, Emma tilts her head as she hears light music playing somewhere in the air.
EMMA
Has that music always been playing?
OLIVIA
Oh, I don’t know. I think so? I think it’s all around – part of the ambiance.
EMMA
I’m not sure we can take any more ambiance. This place is spooky. Everyone’s so stressed out.
OLIVIA
I know. How are we supposed to relax when we can’t sleep?
EMMA
Were we all stressed out before and only just noticed when we got here and tried to “relax”?
OLIVIA
Maybe. When you’re used to a hectic schedule, like most people have, sitting around doing nothing can be its own stress.
EMMA
I hope we all chill out soon and are able to enjoy this so-called retreat.
OLIVIA
I hope so, I can’t take much more of this.
Emma examines Olivia’s face to read her expression. What did she mean by that?
Olivia looks out the window, not meeting her gaze.
EMMA
For real.
MONTAGE OF MULTIPLE GUEST NIGHTMARES
–INT. EMMA’S ROOM – NIGHT
Image of Emma as a little girl holding her dad’s hand at a funeral.
–INT. OLIVIA’S ROOM – NIGHT
Olivia at work in the hospital, chaos all around, patient dead on the table.
–INT. WOMAN’S ROOM – NIGHT
Unknown woman kisses another woman.
–INT. LUCAS’S ROOM – NIGHT
Lucas in a courtroom public seating area, judge bangs a gavel.
–INT. MAN’S ROOM – NIGHT
Unknown man putting on superhero outfit for cosplay party/event.
END OF MONTAGE
INT. EMMA’S HOTEL ROOM – MORNING
Emma wakes up. Looks like shit. She flings off the covers.
INT. HOTEL DINING AREA – MORNING
Dressed now, sitting at a table, picking at some food, Emma keeps her eye on the entryway.
At last, Olivia and her husband enter.
Emma waves her over. She comes alone.
EMMA
I have to talk to you.
OLIVIA
Another dream?
She nods.
EMMA
It was so specific. Stuff from childhood. I hadn’t thought about in decades. I’m kind of freaking out here.
Olivia looks like she might throw up.
EMMA
Hey, are you all right?
Olivia looks up.
Lucas sits at a neighboring table. He eavesdrops.
OLIVIA
Um, no. Mine was like a movie of…well, last time, I said it was a time when a patient died.
Emma nods.
OLIVIA
This was like a play-by-play of everything. I didn’t know I could remember all those details. Not exactly a day I want to remember, you know?
Lucas slides his chair over.
LUCAS
I’m sorry to intrude, but I heard you talking about bad dreams. I’ve had them too and I’ve heard others say the same.
OLIVIA
They’re not just bad dreams. They’re vivid memories of my worst day.
EMMA
Lucas, are yours repetitive too?
He nods. Emma ponders.
EMMA
None of this can be coincidence. Everybody having specific, Groundhog’s day-type nightmares? What do we all have in common?
Lucas and Olivia share a glance.
LUCAS
We’re on the same vacation.
EMMA
Exactly. I said before that this place is spooky, but now I think, it’s someone – making it that way.
OLIVIA
You mean, making us have these dreams?
EMMA
Yeah. I don’t know why or how, but look around.
They look at the other guests, who also look like shit.
EMMA
It’s hell here. I have to figure this out.
LUCAS
Let me help. Investigating was my job, you know.
EMMA
It might be dangerous.
She gives him a disapproving ‘once over’.
Olivia grabs Emma’s hand.
OLIVIA
I don’t know what you can do, but please make them stop.
EMMA
I promise. -
Lesson 11 Trish’s Turning Point 1 Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is having skipped some minor scenes to do these key ones is confusing me a bit. I hope to get to those next.
1. Outline your Act 1 Turning Point.
Beginning: Emma has another nightmare. She goes to tell Olivia about it.
Middle: They both share more details than before. How specific the dreams are. Someone overhears and says the same. Emma talks to more people and finds out how detailed and specific the dreams are.
End: They conclude that it’s not coincidence. It has to be on purpose and by someone.
2. Write your Act 1 Turning Point.
INT. EMMA’S HOTEL ROOM – MORNING
Emma wakes up from another nightmare. She looks like shit. She flings off the covers.
INT. HOTEL DINING AREA – MORNING
Dressed now, sitting at a table, picking at some food, Emma keeps her eye on the entryway.
At last, Olivia and her husband enter.
Emma waves her over. She comes alone.
EMMA
I have to talk to you.
OLIVIA
Another dream?
She nods.
EMMA
It was so specific. Stuff from childhood. I hadn’t thought about in decades. I’m kind of freaking out here.
Olivia looks like she might throw up.
EMMA
Hey, are you all right?
She looks up.
OLIVIA
Um, no. Mine was like a movie of…well, last time, I said it was a time when a patient died.
Emma nods.
OLIVIA
This was like a play-by-play of everything. I didn’t know I could remember all those details. Not exactly a day I want to remember, you know?
Lucas sits at a neighboring table. He watches them and decides to join in.
LUCAS
I’m sorry to intrude, but I heard you talking about bad dreams. I’ve had them too and I’ve heard others say the same.
OLIVIA
They’re not just bad dreams. They’re vivid memories of my worst day.
EMMA
Lucas, are yours repetitive too?
He nods. Emma ponders.
EMMA
None of this can be coincidence. Everybody having specific, Groundhog’s day-type nightmares? What do we all have in common?
Lucas and Olivia share a glance.
LUCAS
We’re on the same vacation.
EMMA
Exactly. I said before that this place is spooky, but now I think, it’s someone – making it that way.
OLIVIA
You mean, making us have these dreams?
EMMA
Yeah. I don’t know why or how, but look around.
They look at the other guests, who also look like shit.
EMMA
It’s hell here. I have to figure this out.
LUCAS
Let me help. Investigating was my job, you know.
EMMA
It might be dangerous.
She gives him a disapproving ‘once over’.
Olivia grabs Emma’s hand.
OLIVIA
I don’t know what you can do, but please make them stop.
EMMA
I promise. -
Lesson 10
Trish’s Inciting Incident and Reaction to the Call
What I learned doing this assignment is that having the outline kept me on track, but it still took me 4 scenes to cover what I wanted with key scene 3.
1. Outline Key Scenes 2 & 3 for Act 1.
Key Scene 2
Beginning: Emma’s asleep in her room
Middle: she has a nightmare that shows various scenes from her marriage. Fights about working too much. She’s alone as an adult and kid.
End: She stifles any emotions. Decides to read for a bit.
Key Scene 3
Beginning: Emma hears more about other guests’ nightmares. This is more than coincidence. It keeps happening. But ppl are light on details.
Middle: She’s thinking something weird is going on, but is it her problem? She talks to a few people and staff. Richard reminds them to use the calming music.
End: Maybe they all just need to relax more. She accepts that premise.
Note to self: This isn’t emotional, but she doesn’t accept the call until after the turning point (key scene 4).
Key Scene 2
INT. EMMA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Emma lies in bed, the picture of comfort. Lush bedding. Sound of a river flowing plays in the background.
But she scowls.
EMMA’S DREAM MONTAGE
— Emma and her husband, DANIEL, yell at each other. Snippets are heard in this well worn argument.
DANIEL
…missed dinner again…
EMMA
…deadline…job important…
— Daniel’s at a party without her, he checks his phone, looks at the door.
Emma’s at work with her colleagues, doing what it takes to get whatever it is done. Her phone lights up, but she doesn’t see it.
— Different day, Emma walks down the hall to their bedroom, but Daniel has moved into the spare room. She looks in as he closes the door in her face.
— Emma as a little girl, playing alone in her walk-in closet.
END OF DREAM
Emma’s eyes open. No crying or bolting out of bed for her. She turns over, readjusts, sighs. Should she try to go back to sleep?
After a few seconds, she gets up and finds her iPad, opens the Kindle app, and selects a book.
She settles in to read.Key Scene 3
INT. HOTEL DINING AREA – MORNING
Emma enters the dining area where guests are having breakfast. People chatter and look quite disturbed.
As she walks to the food area, she eavesdrops.
RANDOM GUEST
…had that dream again…
OTHER GUEST
…horrible…couldn’t stop it….
INT. HOTEL DINING AREA – MOMENTS LATER
As she eats, she continues to eavesdrop.
GUEST
…and then my father shot him!
OTHER GUEST
Damn! Didn’t you have the same dream yesterday?
GUEST
Yeah!
Emma eats, perplexed. It’s very weird. The hubbub is all about the dreams.
INT. HOTEL LOBBY – LATER
Emma spots the bellhop, Sam, leaning against the counter.
When he spots her, he stands upright, doffs his figurative cap.
SAM
Good morning, Ms. Harper. Is there anything I can get you today?
She looks at the two ladies at the front desk that he’s leaning on. She’s still across the lobby.
EMMA
I, uh, was wondering…
He reads her body language and comes over. They walk together down the hall.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS
SAM
You were wondering?
EMMA
Yes, it’s silly maybe, but I keep overhearing guests talking about having bad dreams.
SAM
Yes, I’ve heard that too.
EMMA
I’m having them too. It’s not just having-watched-a-scary-movie type thing.
SAM
Ya know, these things happen.
She makes a quizzical face, but goes on.
EMMA
It’s like, something about this place seems to be provoking them.
SAM
I’ve heard about people getting sick on vacation. Something about the immune system. Maybe it’s like that.
EMMA
But en masse?
SAM
Well, everyone arrived at the same time to experience this retreat.
EMMA
Not a relaxing retreat, is it?
SAM
We’re here if you need us.
For what she doesn’t know. He walks off.
Richard steps out of his office behind them, likely to have heard their conversation.
INT. HOTEL – DAY
Guests are in various places in the hotel. The intercom turns on and they listen up.
RICHARD
(through the intercom)
Good afternoon, [hotel name] guests. Just a friendly reminder to please remember to take advantage of the sleep sounds machine in your rooms, allowing you to listen to your choice of pleasing water and nature sounds to enhance a relaxing night’s rest.
INT. LOUNGE – CONTINUOUS
Emma and Olivia sit together in the lounge, separately reading.
After the intercom shut off, Emma hears light music playing somewhere in the air.
EMMA
Has that music always been playing?
OLIVIA
Oh, I don’t know. I think so? I think it’s all around – part of the ambiance.
EMMA
I’m not sure we can take any more ambiance. This place is spooky. Everyone’s so stressed out.
OLIVIA
I know. How are we supposed to relax when we can’t sleep?
EMMA
Were we all stressed out before and only just noticed when we got here and tried to “relax”?
OLIVIA
Maybe. When you’re used to a hectic schedule, like most people have, sitting around doing nothing can be its own stress.
EMMA
Maybe we’ll all chill out soon and be able to enjoy this so-called retreat.
OLIVIA
I hope so, I can’t take much more of this.
Emma examines Olivia’s face to read her expression. What did she mean by that?
Olivia looks out the window, not meeting her gaze.
EMMA
For real. -
Trish’s Act 1: Opening Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is that I like the outlining idea, although I confess I didn’t use it for either of these scenes as they were simple, as far as action anyway. I will later though!
ACT 1
EXT. HOTEL – DAY
An exquisitely beautiful hotel abuts a gorgeous, clear lake. Tall trees surround them. This quaint, secluded locale offers hope to stressed out vacationers. “We help you forget your worries,” it screams.
An airport van drives up the solitary lane. Adult passengers (no kids) file out, grab their bags and head inside.
INT. HOTEL LOBBY – DAY
Two female clerks smile at the guests and usher them up to the counter.
RICHARD BLACKWELL, the hotel manager, stands off to the side, observing. Early 50s, expensive suit, clean shaven – he’s very much in charge.
An elderly bellhop, SAM HARRIS, grabs bags. He’s so old, the guests are scared to let him pick up the bags.
RANDOM GUEST
I got it. I’ll just keep it with me.
Sam grabs the bags anyway.
SAM
We’re a full-service hotel here. Don’t you worry.
EMMA HARPER approaches the counter. She’s in her 30s or 40s, burned out from her senior level marking position at a tech company, soon to be divorced. Wants to relax now, if you don’t mind.
HOTEL CLERK
Good afternoon, Ms. Harper.
EMMA
Hi, can you make sure my room is not near the elevator or stairwell? I need peace and quiet.
HOTEL CLERK
Oh, um, let me check. That may be hard to do. Our hotel is not that large, considering all rooms have a lake view.
Richard senses trouble.
EMMA
First someone spills coffee on me in the van and now this.
HOTEL CLERK
Don’t worry.
EMMA
I knew I shouldn’t have had my assistant make the reservation.
Richard comes to help the clerk.
RICHARD
Everything okay?
HOTEL CLERK
Just looking for the quietest room for Ms. Harper.
Richard points to the screen, since they can’t say the numbers out loud.
RICHARD
I hope this will meet your needs and more. Our one desire at [hotel name] is for guests to relax and be at peace.
He hands Emma the key cards.
EMMA
Thanks. I appreciate it.
RICHARD
Please let us know if there’s ever anything you need.
She nods.
INT. HOTEL LOUNGE – LATER
Emma heads to the bar, having left her bags in the room.
EMMA
(to the bartender)
Sauvignon blanc, please.
They nod.
A woman, DR. OLIVIA TURNER, similar in age, drink in hand, approaches her.
OLIVIA
Hi, I’m Olivia.
EMMA
Hi, Emma.
Emma gets her drink and they sit.
OLIVIA
Are you here for the week, too?
EMMA
Yeah, I think everyone has to book a week at a time, like a retreat.
OLIVIA
Oh right. My husband booked it. He’s over there with that guy.
EMMA
Which is which?
Olivia points to the men: MARCUS SANDER and LUCAS MCNARE.
OLIVIA
Marcus on the left. I think the guy’s name is Lucas. If you want me to find out more about him, I can ask Marcus later.
EMMA
Oh, no thanks. I’m here alone and glad to be that way.
OLIVIA
Got it. I hope we can be friends at least.
Emma can’t think of a polite, yet truthful, reply.
EMMA
Sure.
She gazes out the huge window at the lake. -
Lesson 8: Trish’s Beat Sheet Draft 2
What I learned doing this assignment is that it is easier when I accept that I don’t know all the story beats just yet (and that’s okay).
ACT 1
INT. HOTEL LOBBY – DAY
Opening: Emma checks into the hotel. (add in everyone’s description, etc.)
She meets Sam, the aged bellhop and Richard, the hotel manager.
She meets Olivia (a doctor) in the lounge
They see Lucas (former journalist) across the room.
(T.E.) Olivia, an extroverted friendly person, pursues a friendship with Emma, even though Emma rebuffs her repeatedly.
INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
Inciting Incident: Emma has a nightmare of a fight with her ex. She dismisses it as stress-induced.
INT. HOTEL SITTING AREA – MORNING
Turning Point: Emma tells Olivia about her dream and she says, she had one too about a former patient. They don’t get into details.
Emma brushes it all off.
EXT. LAKE PATH – DAY
Lucas and Emma pass each other. He starts up a conversation. She talks for a bit. He shares some about his past, but Emma doesn’t want to really get into details about anything.
INT. HOTEL – DAY
Through intercom system, Richard reminds everyone about the calming music/water sounds they offer to listen to as they fall asleep. The music is also in the hallways and throughout the hotel.
INT. HOTEL – DAY
Sam makes cryptic comments to Emma. She ignores him.
Placeholder: Emma keeps hearing that guests are having nightmares and they seems really disturbed by them. This goes on for a few days. She observes their suffering. She suffers too from her own nightmares.
Placeholder: Guests ask why their cell phones don’t work and why only some internet sites work. Richard and/or the staff explain it’s part of the ambience. Meant to help them disconnect and relax.
INT. HOTEL – DAY
(T.E.) Emma realizes that the nightmares are based on real events in the people’s lives, which means the people are being targeted and manipulated.
(As the nightmares become more personalized and the stakes escalate, hints and clues start to emerge, suggesting that someone within the hotel is orchestrating the guests’ torment. These subtle clues create a sense of paranoia and mistrust among the guests.)
INT. HOTEL – NIGHT
The messages are getting more intense – freaking out the guests.
ACT 2A
INT. HOTEL – DAY
Placeholder: Seeing the guests suffer, compels Emma to investigate. Emma suspects the hotel staff are behind the nightmares, but she doesn’t know who or how.
INT. HOTEL DINING AREA – DAY
She sees a therapy dog wincing where gentle music is playing. That leads her to consider the music. (should this happen later?)
INT. HOTEL – DAY
Placeholder: Emma questions people, both staff and guests. She’s gauging who she can trust.
(T.E.) Emma will have to get personal with the guests in her investigation into the dreams. This will make her and them uncomfortable. It builds empathy in her.
INT. RICHARD’S OFFICE – NIGHT
Placeholder: we learn that Richard is the bad guy. Richard’s view of his actions as being for the guests’ own good are revealed. This could be through a direct confrontation with a guest. Maybe he reveals their secret to them. They choose blackmail to get out of it.
Richard ups the intensity on Emma’s dreams, as he suspects she suspects something.
Placeholder: example of how Richard values honesty and integrity, though we know it’s ironic.
INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
(T.E.) Emma’s own nightmares cause her anguish and grief and self-reflection. She journals about it.
INT. HOTEL – DAY
Lucas does his own investigation. He tries to loop Emma in, but she doesn’t trust him. (need reason for this – maybe he said something suspicious or there was a misunderstanding)
INT. HOTEL – DAY
The guests are dealing with their nightmares in various ways.
INT. HOTEL – DAY
Placeholder: Emma talks to one of the guests. A woman in her 30s with husband and 3 kids. She’s gay and Richard is threatening to tell the husband if she doesn’t. They talk about how this came to be, etc.
INT. HOTEL – DAY
Olivia is spiraling.
INT. HOTEL – DAY
Richard is very empathetic to the suffering guests, offering free spa treatments.
Placeholder: Richard provides a family member with a plausible but false explanation for the death of their family member at the hotel, such as pre-existing health condition, accident, or sudden illness. He ensures that the official cause of death aligns with the fabricated story to minimize suspicion. Richard is “cozy” with the local police.
INT. RICHARD’S OFFICE – NIGHT
We see/hear him suggesting suicide as a way out of the situation (into the computer program where the messages come from), but we don’t know who that message is for.
(his desire for control and power is gradually revealed, in case anyone doubted his pure intentions)
INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY
Midpoint Turning Point and T.E.: Olivia tells Emma the truth about killing a patient.
INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
Olivia kills herself by overdosing on pills.
INT. HOTEL ROOM – MORNING
Olivia’s husband can’t wake her up. He calls the hotel doctor. They can’t revive her.
Placeholder: News spreads. Richard is pleased. Emma is now 100% committed to seeing this through.
ACT 2B
EXT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY
(T.E.) Desperation forces Emma to trust Lucas. She’s at his room to discuss partnering up. They have to trust each other and share info. They have to tread carefully but also work quickly.
INT. HOTEL – DAY
Richard spies on Lucas and Emma.
INT. RICHARD’S OFFICE – NIGHT
He digs up more dirt on them. (or messes with them somehow)
INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
Placeholder: Emma and Lucas discover Richard is exploiting the guests and manipulating them via subliminal messaging in the music. (She knew it was the music a while ago. Maybe she figures out what program he’s using or something.) They have to figure out how to stop him.
INT. HOTEL LOBBY – DAY
Turning Point – Huge failure: Olivia’s husband bribes Richard to keep Olivia’s secret and let him leave with her body. (How does he know her secret? Does Richard tell him?)
Placeholder: need more back and forth with Emma/Lucas and Richard. Emma/Lucas makes some headway, which causes Richard to get more and more desperate.
INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
A different guest tries to kill their partner (after learning their secret), but only maims them. (do they hit them over the head?)
The hotel doctor treats them. Richard offers blackmail as a way out.
Placeholder: more guests face death or blackmail. Richard uses psychological games on Emma and Lucas.
Placeholder: Emma and Lucas learn about Richard’s dad’s double life. Ponder that influence on Richard.
INT. HOTEL – DAY
Emma and Lucas have to work fast and maybe they don’t have time to do all the investigating that they’d like (before taking action).
Emma and Lucas confront Richard directly with what proof they have, thinking it’s enough. They know he’s blackmailing and manipulating the guests and they know how, but don’t know still how to stop him. (Can they take over the messages? Is it something they have to hack into? Does Sam know how it works?)
Richard doesn’t care about their proof, because he has dirt on them too and now they’re lives are in danger (more so than before). (Maybe the dirt on Emma is someone else in her life. Or maybe it’s just that he’ll kill them.)
ACT 3
INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY
Placeholder: Climax and (T.E.): Emma and Lucas have to rectify their past situations so that the dirt Richard has on them doesn’t apply anymore. [need to keep working on this].
INT. HOTEL – DAY
Placeholder: large set piece with life or death hanging in the balance.
Emma and Lucas figure out that Richard was blocking access to the full internet and has a cell phone jammer. They remove whatever was blocking the whole internet and disable the jammer.
INT. HOTEL – NIGHT
Placeholder: (T.E.) Emma calls the authorities for help and somehow physically restrains Richard (maybe kills him in self-defense or tricks him to go into a room she can lock, to wait for the police. Maybe he kills himself, because he views himself as a martyr all along.
EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
Police arrive. Richard is hauled away (dead or alive).
EXT. LAKE PATH – DAY
Resolution: Lucas releases his guilt over his work thing. (does this happen in the climax? Or did he have to literally do something?)
The other guests are relieved and free, like people shaken from a stupor.
INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY
Emma forgives herself and her ex and she cries for all she’s lost (in life and Olivia dying). She realizes how helpful it was to partner with Lucas on this mission, but not in a romantic way. Maybe she reconsiders her job or career because of this.
Emma reconnects with her dad and makes plans to see him. She calls her ex and apologizes for her part in their breakup. Maybe they consider giving it another go.
Emma says something about people can change, if and when they want to.
Sam, the bellhop, is free to retire.
INT. HOTEL SITTING AREA – DAY
(T.E.) The gratitude from the remaining guests for what Emma did overwhelms her in a good way.
EXT. HOTEL – DAY
The hotel is shut down and everyone leaves, but a haunting lingers in the air, as if what happened there won’t be forgotten.Things to add about Emma: her old ways of blaming others, being estranged from her dad and stepmom, divorce, working too much, why is she obsessed with her job?, driven to succeed, believes in the good of others though she keeps them away and doesn’t trust easily, important job but worried about being laid off, burnout, relationships aren’t worth it, has never been able to depend on anyone else, she’s lonely even though she’s rarely alone, she can be loud and put others off. She wears earplugs or headphones to block out the messages.
General things: race against time, Emma’s investigation, Richard thwarting her, climax set piece, more on the supporting characters – especially Lucas, need to keep audience guessing as to what’s real or not, hotel setting increases claustrophobia, add symbolic images in decor, maybe they have to deal with their thing before they check out, and reminder that some are fears not secrets. -
Trish’s High-Speed Beat Sheet
What I learned doing this assignment is that my definition of when I’m done with the assignment doesn’t fit the high-speed writing process (of 20% quality for the 1<sup>st</sup> draft). Seems like a low bar! I’m not aiming for perfection, just a more complete version. However, since slowness has been a barrier for me, I commit to the group to use the High Speed Writing Rules to get my script done at record speed.
ACT 1
INT. HOTEL LOBBY – DAY
Opening: Emma checks into the hotel.
She meets Sam, the aged bellhop and Richard, the hotel manager.
She meets Olivia (a doctor) in the lounge
They see Lucas (former journalist) across the room.
(T.E.) Olivia, an extroverted friendly person, pursues a friendship with Emma, even though Emma rebuffs her repeatedly.
INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
Inciting Incident: Emma has a nightmare of a fight with her ex. She dismisses it as stress-induced.
Richard’s plan is in motion for this new batch of guests.
INT. HOTEL SITTING AREA – MORNING
Turning Point: Emma tells Olivia about her dream and she says, she had one too about a former patient. They don’t get into details.
Emma brushes it all off.
EXT. LAKE PATH – DAY
Lucas and Emma pass each other. He starts up a conversation. She talks for a bit. He shares some about his past, but Emma doesn’t want to really get into details about anything.
INT. HOTEL – DAY
Through intercom system, Richard reminds everyone about the calming music/water sounds they offer to listen to as they fall asleep (It has subliminal messaging that causes the nightmares). The music is also in the hallways and throughout the hotel.
INT. HOTEL – DAY
Sam makes cryptic comments to Emma. She ignores him.
Placeholder: Emma keeps hearing that guests are having nightmares and they seems really disturbed by them. This goes on for a few days. She observes their suffering. She suffers too from her own nightmares.
INT. HOTEL – DAY
(T.E.) Emma realizes that the nightmares are based on real events in the people’s lives, which means the people are being targeted and manipulated.
INT. RICHARD’S OFFICE – NIGHT
Richard intensifies the messaging for the guests to increase their fear.ACT 2A
INT. HOTEL – DAY
Placeholder: Seeing the guests suffer, compels Emma to investigate. Emma suspects the hotel staff are behind the nightmares, but she doesn’t know who or how.
INT. HOTEL DINING AREA – DAY
She sees a therapy dog wincing where gentle music is playing. That leads her to consider the music.
INT. HOTEL – DAY
Placeholder: Emma questions people, both staff and guests. She’s gauging who she can trust.
(T.E.) Emma will have to get personal with the guests in her investigation into the dreams. This will make her and them uncomfortable. It builds empathy in her.
INT. RICHARD’S OFFICE – NIGHT
Richard ups the intensity on Emma’s dreams, as he suspects she suspects something.
INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
(T.E.) Emma’s own nightmares cause her anguish and grief and self-reflection. She journals about it.
INT. HOTEL – DAY
Lucas does his own investigation. He tries to loop Emma in, but she doesn’t trust him. (need reason for this – maybe he said something suspicious or there was a misunderstanding)
INT. HOTEL – DAY
The guests are dealing with their nightmares in various ways.
INT. HOTEL – DAY
Olivia is spiraling.
INT. HOTEL – DAY
Richard is very empathetic to the suffering guests, offering free spa treatments.
INT. RICHARD’S OFFICE – NIGHT
We see/hear him suggesting suicide as a way out of the situation (into the computer program where the messages come from), but we don’t know who that message is for.
INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY
Midpoint Turning Point and T.E.: Olivia tells Emma the truth about killing a patient.
INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
Olivia kills herself by overdosing on pills.
INT. HOTEL ROOM – MORNING
Olivia’s husband can’t wake her up. He calls the hotel doctor. They can’t revive her.
Placeholder: News spreads. Richard is pleased. Emma is now 100% committed to seeing this through.
ACT 2B
EXT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY
(T.E.) Desperation forces Emma to trust Lucas. She’s at his room to discuss partnering up. They have to trust each other and share info. They have to tread carefully but also work quickly.
INT. HOTEL – DAY
Richard spies on Lucas and Emma.
INT. RICHARD’S OFFICE – NIGHT
He digs up more dirt on them.
INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
Placeholder: Emma and Lucas discover Richard is exploiting the guests and manipulating them via subliminal messaging in the music. (She knew it was the music a while ago. Maybe she figures out what program he’s using or something.) They have to figure out how to stop him.
INT. HOTEL LOBBY – DAY
Turning Point – Huge failure: Olivia’s husband bribes Richard to keep Olivia’s secret and let him leave with her body. (How does he know her secret? Does Richard tell him?)
INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
A different guest tries to kill their partner (after learning their secret), but only maims them. (do they hit them over the head?)
The hotel doctor treats them. Richard offers blackmail as a way out.
Placeholder: more guests face death or blackmail
INT. HOTEL – DAY
Emma and Lucas have to work fast and maybe they don’t have time to do all the investigating that they’d like (before taking action).
Emma and Lucas confront Richard directly with what proof they have, thinking it’s enough. They know he’s blackmailing and manipulating the guests and they know how, but don’t know still how to stop him. (Can they take over the messages? Is it something they have to hack into? Does Sam know how it works?)
Richard doesn’t care about their proof, because he has dirt on them too and now they’re lives are in danger (more so than before). (Maybe the dirt on Emma is someone else in her life.)
ACT 3
INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY
Placeholder: Climax and (T.E.): Emma and Lucas have to rectify their past situations so that the dirt Richard has on them doesn’t apply anymore. [need to keep working on this].
INT. HOTEL – DAY
Placeholder: large set piece with life or death hanging in the balance.
Emma and Lucas figure out that Richard was blocking access to the full internet and has a cell phone jammer. They remove whatever was blocking the whole internet and disable the jammer.
INT. HOTEL – NIGHT
Placeholder: (T.E.) Emma calls the authorities for help and somehow physically restrains Richard (maybe kills him in self-defense or tricks him to go into a room she can lock, to wait for the police.
EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
Police arrive. Richard is hauled away (dead or alive).
EXT. LAKE PATH – DAY
Resolution: Lucas releases his guilt over his work thing. (does this happen in the climax? Or did he have to literally do something?)
The other guests are relieved and free, like people shaken from a stupor.
INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY
Emma forgives herself and her ex and she cries for all she’s lost (in life and Olivia dying). She realizes how helpful it was to partner with Lucas on this mission, but not in a romantic way. Maybe she reconsiders her job or career because of this.
Emma reconnects with her dad and makes plans to see him. She calls her ex and apologizes for her part in their breakup. Maybe they consider giving it another go.
Sam, the bellhop, is free to retire.
INT. HOTEL SITTING AREA – DAY
(T.E.) The gratitude from the remaining guests for what Emma did overwhelms her in a good way.
EXT. HOTEL – DAY
The hotel is shut down and everyone leaves, but a haunting lingers in the air, as if what happened there won’t be forgotten.*****************
Things to add about Emma: her old ways of blaming others, being estranged from her dad and stepmom, divorce, working too much, why is she obsessed with her job?, driven to succeed, believes in the good of others though she keeps them away and doesn’t trust easily, important job but worried about being laid off, burnout, relationships aren’t worth it, has never been able to depend on anyone else, she’s lonely even though she’s rarely alone, she can be loud and put others off. She wears earplugs or headphones to block out the messages.
Things to add about Richard: his general personality, his motives, his dad’s secret
General things: race against time, Emma’s investigation, Richard thwarting her, climax set piece, more on the supporting characters – especially Lucas, need to keep audience guessing as to what’s real or not, hotel setting increases claustrophobia, add symbolic images in decor, -
Trish’s Transformational Events for Emma
What I learned doing this assignment is that I like the formula for going from old to new and how one might do that, in literal and practical ways.
2. Start with the Character Arc and the list of Old Ways and New Ways.
Emma Harper is a burned-out office worker on vacation. She ends as a self-empowered and strong woman who defeats her fear of being unloved, while defeating Richard Blackwell who terrorizes guests at his hotel. She goes from a victim of bad circumstances and poor life choices to a victor, who loves herself.
Old Ways
1. Blame everyone else
2. Internalize bad things as fodder for low self-esteem
3. Avoid responsibility (except in her job) – reluctant to step in and help others
4. She’s emotionally cut off from herself and others.
5. She acts businesslike to stay in control
New Ways
1. Takes responsibility for how she deals with hardships (forgives and takes them less personally)
2. Lets things go easier / handles her emotions maturely
3. Willing to step up and help others, even fighting for them
4. Can connect with others (reconciles, in some fashion, with ex and father)
5. Lets loose a little (not crazy, but in fitting with her personality)
3. Make a list of 6 – 8 changes or steps that need to happen for that character to go from who they are in the beginning (Old Ways) to who they are in the ending (New Ways).
1. Gains self-esteem. That she’s good at things beyond her job. Gives her the fortitude to accept self-blame, if appropriate.
2. Comes to understand that shit happens and maybe it’s not personal
3. Finds satisfaction in helping others, even if it’s a risk to herself
4. Chooses to trust Lucas and share intel with him. This forces her to be vulnerable and to work together with someone. Realizes she is strong enough to handle her emotions and other peoples’.
5. The extreme nature of events, forces her out of her comfort zone.
(this numbering correlates with the old and new ways lists)
4. Sequence the steps from easiest to most difficult. This will imply the journey the character takes.
1. Finds satisfaction in helping others, even if it’s a risk to herself
2. Comes to understand that shit happens and maybe it’s not personal
3. Chooses to trust Lucas and share intel with him. This forces her to be vulnerable and to work together with someone. Realizes she is strong enough to handle her emotions and other peoples’.
4. The extreme nature of events, forces her out of her comfort zone.
5. Gains self-esteem. That she’s good at things beyond her job. Gives her the fortitude to accept self-blame, if appropriate.
(not sure of this order, but it’s a start)
5. Brainstorm dramatic events or tests that could cause those changes for the character.
1. Olivia pursues a friendship with her, even though Emma rebuffs her repeatedly.
2. Learns that the dreams are personal to each guest, which means the people are being targeted and manipulated.
3. Seeing the guests suffer, compels her to investigate.
4. Emma will have to get personal with the guests in her investigation into the dreams. This will make her and them uncomfortable. Builds empathy.
5. Her own nightmares cause her anguish and grief and self-reflection.
6. Her new friend dies and that motivates her to see this through.
7. Desperation forces her to trust Lucas.
8. As more guests face death or blackmail, Emma and Lucas have to work fast and maybe they don’t have time to do all the investigating that they’d like (before taking action).
9. She and Lucas deal with their past to eliminate the blackmail option for Richard.
10. She calls the authorities for help and somehow physically restrains Richard (maybe kills him in self-defense)
11. The gratitude from the remaining guests for what Emma did overwhelms her in a good way.
6. Add these transformational events to your four act structure.
Act 1:
Opening: Emma checks into the hotel. She meets Sam, the aged bellhop and Richard, the hotel manager. She meets Olivia (a doctor) in the lounge and they see Lucas (the former journalist) across the room. Olivia, an extroverted friendly person, pursues a friendship with Emma, even though Emma rebuffs her repeatedly.
Inciting Incident: Emma has a nightmare of a fight with her ex. She dismisses it as stress-induced. Richard’s plan is in motion for this new batch of guests (not sure yet if everyone arrives at the same time or not.)
Turning Point: Emma tells Olivia about her dream and she says, she had one too about a former patient. They don’t get into details. Emma brushes it all off. Lucas and Emma talk and he shares some about his past, but Emma doesn’t want details from him either. Richard reminds everyone about the calming music/water sounds they offer to listen to as they fall asleep (It has subliminal messaging that causes the nightmares). The music is also in the hallways and throughout the hotel. Sam makes weird comments that Emma ignores. Emma realizes that the nightmares are based on real events in the people’s lives, which means the people are being targeted and manipulated. Richard intensifies the messaging for the guests to increase their fear.
Act 2 (or 2A):
New plan: Seeing the guests suffer, compels her to investigate. Emma suspects the hotel staff are behind the nightmares, but she doesn’t know who or how. She sees a therapy dog wincing in the lobby where gentle music is playing. That leads her to consider the music. Emma questions people, both staff and guests. She’s gauging who she can trust. She has to get personal with the guests when discussing the nightmares. Richard ups the intensity on Emma’s dreams, as he suspects she suspects something. This causes her to reflect.
Plan in action: Lucas does his own investigation, but Emma doesn’t trust him. The guests are dealing with their nightmares in various ways. Olivia is spiraling. Richard is very empathetic to the suffering guests, offering free spa treatments. We see/hear him suggesting suicide as a way out of the situation (into the computer program where the messages come from), but we don’t know who that message is for.
Midpoint Turning Point: Olivia tells Emma the truth about killing a patient and she kills herself by overdosing on pills. Richard is pleased.
Act 3 (or 2B):
Rethink everything: Emma teams up with Lucas now and they have to trust each other and share info. They have to tread carefully but also work quickly. Richard continues to spy on Lucas and Emma and dig up more dirt on them.
New plan: Emma and Lucas discover Richard is exploiting the guests and manipulating them via subliminal messaging in the music. They have to figure out how to stop him.
Turning Point – Huge failure / Major shift: Even though Olivia has died, her spouse is still there trying to figure out what to do. He bribes Richard to keep Olivia’s secret and let him leave (with her body). Another guest tries to kill their partner (after learning their secret), but only maims them (trying to avoid another suicide). The hotel doctor treats them.
Emma and Lucas confront Richard directly with what proof they have, thinking it’s enough. They know he’s blackmailing and manipulating the guests and they know how, but don’t know still how to stop him. He doesn’t care about their proof, because he has dirt on them too and now they’re lives are in danger. They know that time is of the essence, so they confront him before they are in fact ready.
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Emma and Lucas have to rectify their past situations so that the dirt Richard has on them doesn’t apply anymore. [need to keep working on this]. Emma and Lucas figure out that Richard was blocking access to the full internet and had a cell phone jammer. They deal with those things, so they can call the police. This needs to be part of a large set piece with life or death hanging in the balance. Maybe Emma kills Richard in self-defense or tricks him into a room she can lock, to wait for the police.
Resolution: Lucas releases his guilt over his work thing. The other guests are relieved and free, like people shaken from a stupor. Emma forgives herself and her ex and she cries for all she’s lost (in life and Olivia dying). She realizes how helpful it was to partner with Lucas on this mission, but not in a romantic way (unless that is needed to show she can be emotionally vulnerable – maybe it’s hinted that she reunites with her ex). Emma reconnects with her dad and makes plans to see him. Richard is hauled away (unless he was killed earlier). Sam, the bellhop, is free to retire. The gratitude from the remaining guests for what Emma did overwhelms her in a good way. The hotel is shut down and everyone leaves, but a haunting lingers in the air, as if what happened there won’t be forgotten, in a good or bad way.
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Trish’s 4 Act Transformational Structure
What I learned doing this assignment is that this one had me stumped. I didn’t have nearly enough to work with yet, so I had to do many rounds on this to fill it out. I’m pleased with the new ideas I got.
Concept: When travelers stay at this secluded hotel, their deepest secrets come to life until they face them or die (or are blackmailed by Richard to keep their secret).
Main Conflict: Emma, the vacationing office worker, takes on Richard, the hotel manager, after she realizes he’s tormenting (killing?) the guests. She has to face her past to defeat him.
Old Ways: Her old way was to blame everyone for bad things that happened to her and take it all as proof that she was unlovable. She would also let other people deal with stuff (avoiding all responsibility). [note to self: need more tangible old ways that won’t work]
New Ways: Her new way is to be responsible for how she deals with hardships and accept that they have nothing to do with her lovability. At the hotel, she learns to work with Lucas (eventually) to take down Richard. She’s willing to be vulnerable and feel emotions.
Act 1:
Opening: Emma checks into the hotel. She meets Sam, the aged bellhop and Richard, the hotel manager. She meets Olivia (a doctor) in the lounge and they see Lucas (the former journalist) across the room.
Inciting Incident: Emma has a nightmare of a fight with her ex. She dismisses it as stress-induced. Richard’s plan is in motion for this new batch of guests (not sure yet if everyone arrives at the same time or not.)
Turning Point: Emma tells Olivia about her dream and she says, she had one too about a former patient. They don’t get into details. Emma brushes it all off. Lucas and Emma talk and he shares some about his past, but Emma doesn’t want details from him either. Richard reminds everyone about the calming music/water sounds they offer to listen to as they fall asleep (It has subliminal messaging that causes the nightmares). The music is also in the hallways and throughout the hotel. Sam makes weird comments that Emma ignores. Emma realizes that the nightmares are based on real events in the people’s lives. Richard intensifies the messaging for the guests to increase their fear.
Act 2:
New plan: Emma suspects the hotel staff are behind the nightmares, but she doesn’t know who or how. She sees a therapy dog wincing in the lobby where gentle music is playing. That leads her to consider the music. Emma questions people, both staff and guests. She’s gauging who she can trust. Richard ups the intensity on Emma’s dreams, as he suspects she suspects something.
Plan in action: Lucas does his own investigation, but Emma doesn’t trust him. The guests are dealing with their nightmares in various ways. Olivia is spiraling. Richard is very empathetic to the suffering guests, offering free spa treatments. We see/hear him suggesting suicide as a way out of the situation (into the computer program where the messages come from), but we don’t know who that message is for.
Midpoint Turning Point: Olivia tells Emma the truth about killing a patient and she kills herself by overdosing on pills. Richard is pleased.
Act 3:
Rethink everything: Emma teams up with Lucas now and they have to trust each other and share info. They have to tread carefully but also work quickly. Richard continues to spy on Lucas and Emma and dig up more dirt on them.
New plan: Emma and Lucas discover Richard is exploiting the guests and manipulating them via subliminal messaging in the music. They have to figure out how to stop him.
Turning Point – Huge failure / Major shift: Even though Olivia has died, her spouse is still there trying to figure out what to do. He bribes Richard to keep Olivia’s secret and let him leave (with her body). Another guest tries to kill their partner (after learning their secret), but only maims them (trying to avoid another suicide). The hotel doctor treats them.
Emma and Lucas confront Richard directly with what proof they have, thinking it’s enough. They know he’s blackmailing and manipulating the guests and they know how, but don’t know still how to stop him. He doesn’t care about their proof, because he has dirt on them too and now they’re lives are in danger.
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Emma and Lucas have to rectify their past situations so that the dirt Richard has on them doesn’t apply anymore. [The dirt on Emma is not illegal or immoral, so this isn’t very compelling. Maybe it is for Lucas. – need to keep working on this]. Emma and Lucas figure out that Richard was blocking access to the full internet and had a cell phone jammer. They deal with those things, so they can call the police. This needs to be part of a large set piece with life or death hanging in the balance.
Resolution: Lucas releases his guilt over his work thing. The other guests are relieved and free, like people shaken from a stupor. Emma forgives herself and her ex and she cries for all she’s lost (in life and Olivia dying). She realizes how helpful it was to partner with Lucas on this mission, but not in a romantic way (unless that is needed to show she can be emotionally vulnerable). Richard is arrested or killed. Sam, the bellhop, is free to retire. The hotel is shut down, but a haunting lingers in the air. As if what happened there won’t be forgotten, in a good or bad way.
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What I learned doing this assignment is that it takes effort to go deep. My first round was very surface level. I had to go again to get deeper.
Protagonist
- Tell me about yourself.
I’m Emma. I’ve been working hard and need a vacation. My marriage is over, because my husband is a selfish pig. I’m here to relax and chill. I’m a Senior Marketing Manager at a famous tech company. I’m worried I’m going to be laid off. That’s why I’ve been working so hard, but I knew I needed a break. I’m not so foolish as to drop dead, because I can’t take a break. I hope people leave me alone here. I want to enjoy the beautiful lake and spa amenities. Maybe here I can figure out what to do about my life. It’s not working. I’m not getting the satisfaction from my career that I expected. I’m not sure relationships are worth it. Like people who won’t have a pet, because they die someday. The good times aren’t worth the bad. Maybe that’s what I think too. That’s grim.
- Why do you think you were called to this journey? Why
you?
1<sup>st</sup> try: I don’t know what you’re talking about. I just told you, I’m here to relax. Somebody else can go on the journey. 2<sup>nd</sup> try: I can be a cold bitch, who gets done what needs to be done. Maybe this is happening at the right time, so I can alter the course of my life. I already said it’s not working, so maybe this journey will help me solve it.
- You are up against Richard. What is it about him that
makes this journey even more difficult for you?
Like always, I’m the only one I can depend on. If this bastard wants me to confront my mistakes in order to defeat him, then I’ll go there. Maybe that’s why I was drawn to this place.
- In order to survive or accomplish this, you are going
to have to step way outside of your box. What changes do you expect to
make and which of them will be the most difficult?
I think I’m going to have to get up in people’s business in order to figure out what is going on and that’s going to hurt. Yuck. I don’t want to know their ick. Also, I’m going to need help to defeat him. I don’t like depending on others. I don’t know who to trust here, since everything is confusing.
- What habits or ways of thinking do you think will be
the most difficult to let go of?
Relying on other people. Working with them. Not being afraid of their issues or emotions. Also, learning that being vulnerable is possible and can be safe. And that’s how you have connections with others.
- What fears, insecurities and wounds have held you
back?
I’ve blamed others for bad things that happened to me, instead of seeing if I played a role in it. Maybe I did or didn’t. Sometimes bad things just happen. I have a wall up to keep others out. My priorities have been out of alignment with my values.
- What skills, background or expertise makes you
well-suited to face this conflict or antagonist?
I think my ability to do the hard things will be an advantage. Richard’s clever with tech, but so am I. And I love a good mystery.
- What are you hiding from the other characters? What
don’t you want them to know?
I don’t want them to know what a screw up I am and that, for as long as I can remember, I’ve had no one close to me, even though I was married.
- What do you think of Richard?
He’s definitely shady. I see through his BS, but I’m not sure what he’s up to.
- Tell me your side of this whole conflict / story.
Once I realized that he was destroying the lives of the guests, I couldn’t let him get away with it. Who does he think he is? God? That really pissed me off. How dare he? Forcing people to deal with things doesn’t work anyway. They’ll say anything to make him stop tormenting them. It doesn’t mean they changed. I saw how he destroyed Olivia, the doctor. He found out she killed a patient on purpose, or so he said, and she killed herself. That got me invested to stop him.
- What does it do for your life if you succeed here?
I can start over, in a way. Reborn, victorious, excited about the future. Still kickass, but gentle too. I’ve learned how to work with others in a way that makes us all stronger. I can trust others with my full self. Well, maybe not everybody, but I’ll start with one or two and go from there.
- Ask any other questions about their character profile
that will help you.
Antagonist
- Tell me about yourself.
I’m Richard. I run this hotel. It’s not what it seems. We change people’s lives. It’s hard work, but I make the world a better place. I live alone. I can’t have any entanglements. I’m 100% focused on my mission. I use the staff to help me, but I only tell them what they need to know. No one knows the whole scope of what we do.
- Having to do with this journey, what are your
strengths and weaknesses?
I’m very intuitive and observant. Intelligent, able to manipulate others. It’s not my weakness, but other people not playing along, is the hardest thing I have to deal with. It stresses me out daily. Why can’t they see I’m trying to help them?
- Why are you committed to making the Protagonist fail?
Or for a relationship movie, why are you committed to making them change?
I want the guests to change so they can live honest, fulfilling lives – having reckoned with their issues. Emma will fail, because I can’t/won’t be stopped. She’s no different from anyone else. I’m not scared of her
- What do you get out of winning this fight /
succeeding in your plan / taking down your competition?
I help the guests overcome their issues, like I have. I want them to be better people. I’m doing them a favor and that gives me satisfaction. And if they don’t ‘play along’ and I get money or revenge out of it, then that works too.
- What drives you toward your mission / agenda, even in
the face of danger, ruin, or death?
Nobody but me is willing to do this difficult work. I can’t let them ruin their own lives out of fear or in the way my childhood was ruined.
- What secrets must you keep to succeed? What other
secrets do you keep out of fear / insecurity?
I keep all of their secrets, sort of. (I, Trish, am not sure how he does this yet.) I keep secret my mission here to protect it and keep it going.
- Compared to other people like you, what makes you
special?
I’m willing and able to force change on people. I get my hands dirty. I’m not all talk like most people. I’m not doing this for myself. This is a public service.
- What do you think of Emma?
She thinks she’s so smart. Like I haven’t encountered resistance before. Gimme a break.
- Tell me your side of this whole conflict / story.
These idiots need me to set them free. They’re living shallow, empty lives. Hiding their true selves. If they aren’t capable of dealing with their past, they don’t deserve to go back to their miserable existence, deceiving themselves and everyone they know.
Revelations:
Olivia’s death jumpstarts Emma’s desire to stop Richard.
Richard lies to himself that he’s dealt with his past, in the way he wants others to. He thinks everyone is deceptive/deceitful.
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Trish’s Character Profile Part 2
What I learned doing this assignment is how intricate the components of the characters are. A lot goes into making them interesting and different.
Protagonist:
What draws us to this character? She’s relatable in that we all want to be loved and we all struggle to be successful at work and in life. We want to know if she’ll succeed in the situation she’s in.
Traits: She’s resourceful, driven, open-minded, and hard working.
Subtext: She acts businesslike to stay in control of herself and others.
Flaw: She’s emotionally cut off from herself and others.
Values: She values success, but also close connections with others. She believes people can change.
Irony: Being emotionally distance creates her lack of love and connection.
What makes this the right character for this role? Like Richard, she’s hiding and repressing the past, but she’s willing to face it and become better for it. She fulfills his mission.
Antagonist:
What draws us to this character? Richard’s enigmatic nature and charismatic charm draw us in. His motivation makes him intriguing, because we want to know why he’s doing what he’s doing.
Traits: He’s charming, manipulative, intelligent, insightful
Subtext: He hides his motivations and even actions, behind a veil of obfuscation and deceit.
Flaw: He wants to be in control of everything, including the lives of others.
Values: Honesty, control, being strong
Irony: His love of honesty and integrity is ironic, since he is neither. Like Emma, repressing his pain, keeps it alive.
What makes this the right character for this role? He’s a good foil for Emma. He’s complex and mysterious enough to be capable of great damage.
No changes to Part 1 of the profiles at this time.
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Subject line: Trish’s Character Profiles Part 1
What I learned doing this assignment is the same as last time. It’s hard to pick just one idea! But it’s also fun. I kept coming up with the same wounds for Richard and Emma. I think that’s a good thing. Hopefully, they’ll mirror each other.
2. Pick the type of role your Protagonist will play and give us a few sentences on how they will fulfill that role.
Emma Harper is a hero, though very reluctant. She’d rather other people deal with the threat or pretend it doesn’t exist. She’s also a fighter, but at not at first. She succeeds as a hero by fighting the villain. Emma sees how Richard Blackwell manipulates and terrorizes the guests, herself included, and eventually figures out how to defeat him (maybe by killing him). Circumstances force her to remain at the hotel to keep her in the “battle”.
3. Pick the type of role your Antagonist will play and give us a few sentences on how they will fulfill that role.
Richard, the hotel manager, is a villain and predator. He terrorizes the guests by realizing their shameful secrets or fears in a misguided attempt to make them better people. If they don’t overcome/accept their secrets, he kills them. (I’m still figuring out how to make it life or death stakes.) I think he also uses blackmail and the like to get them to do what he wants.
4. What other characters might be necessary?
Supporting characters: 1) Samuel, the ancient bellhop, who won’t retire, because he feels guilty about his role in the hotel’s happenings. He might be a mentor to Emma (though unreliable). 2) Dr. Olivia Turner, a doctor on her honeymoon, who has a need for control, because she had a patient die under suspicious circumstances. She and Emma become friends. 3) Lucas, a journalist retreating from a mistake he made that had bad repercussions. He might be the one to buddy with Emma to solve the hotel mystery. (I’d like to avoid romance, but a strong male lead might be needed).
Minor roles: other hotel staff and guests. Richard will need people to help him in his doings.
Background characters: hotel staff and guests
5. Pick your genre.
This will be a psychological thriller. While this setup could become horror or sci-fi, I want to avoid that. I want everything to be based in reality, if possible. I want Emma to constantly be questioning her sanity, not knowing who to trust or what to believe. The storyline is her trying to solve the puzzle and defeat the villain.
6. Fill in whatever answers come to you about your lead character profiles.
Protagonist:
Role in the story: Emma is the lead character
Age range and Description: She’s in her 30s-40s. She needs to have enough life experience to have worked for a number of years with some success and to have a failed marriage. She’s all business and doesn’t have time or the inclination for emotions.
Internal Journey: She goes from a victim of bad circumstances and poor life choices to a victor, who loves herself.
External Journey: She defeats (kills?) the hotel manager who terrorizes hotel guests.
Motivation: She wants to escape the stress of her job for a while. Internally, she wants to feel loved.
Wound: Her wound stems from a failed marriage due to her obsession with work, leading to a fear of being alone and unloved.
Mission/Agenda: At first, she resists the mission of solving the hotel mystery, but eventually, she wants to get to the bottom of it and stop it. She has to confront her issues during the process.
Secret: Emma’s mother died when she was very young. Her father remarried but Emma felt left out.
What makes them special? She willing to change herself and become a better person (this is fairly generic, but the other hotel guests will not be this way.) She works hard and is determined to succeed in whatever she does.
Antagonist:
Role in the story: Richard, the hotel manager, is the villain
Age range and Description: he’s 40s or 50s. Old enough to be established both as top person at the hotel and his bad-guyness. He’s well-groomed and fit and judgmental of people who aren’t. He’s secretive and observant. He has a god complex.
Internal Journey: He is too damaged to have an internal journey. Emma either kills him or has him arrested at the end, but he is the same.
External Journey: Richard becomes increasingly desperate to maintain control over the situation. This involves orchestrating a series of challenges and psychological games to thwart Emma’s progress and keep the truth hidden.
Motivation: He seeks power and control. By manipulating others and thinking it’s noble, he’s really just getting revenge for wrongs he’s received.
Wound: His father’s betrayal devastated him. He controls others to protect himself.
Mission/Agenda: He believes that forcing the past out of people and making them confront it, makes them a complete person and, if they don’t, they aren’t worthy of living.
Secret: His father had a secret family elsewhere and that secret destroyed both families.
What makes them special? He’s a master at uncovering people’s secrets, through computer hacking and psychological analysis. He’s charming and charismatic.
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Subject line: Emma’s Transformational Journey
I learned doing this assignment to pick just one idea for each aspect of the story and try it out. Working with AI, I have a lot of alternate ideas and it’s hard to pick the best one. I know I can change them later.
Emma Harper (30-40s) is a burned-out office worker on vacation. She ends as a self-empowered and strong woman who defeats her fear of being unloved, while defeating Richard Blackwell who terrorizes guests at his hotel.
Internal Journey: She goes from a victim of bad circumstances and poor life choices to a victor, who loves herself.
External Journey: She defeats (kills?) the hotel manager who terrorizes hotel guests (in his misguided attempt to save them).
Her old way was to blame everyone for bad things that happened to her and take it all as proof that she was unlovable. Her new way is to be responsible for how she deals with hardships and accept that they have nothing to do with her lovability. She would also let other people deal with stuff, but, at the hotel, she is the only one willing to take on the bad guy.
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Hi all, I’m Trish. I’ve written 2 full scripts and a partial third. The whole process has been super slow, like a year or more for each one, so figuring out how to write faster is what I want to get out of the class. I’ve been working with AI like Hal has taught and it’s fantastic! My fun fact is that my family left Florida to live in Alaska, when I was a kid. I settled in the middle (Seattle) as an adult.
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I, Trish McRae, agree to the terms of this release form.
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I’m bringing in just one partly completed script about a woman who wants to be a professional singer but is scared to take the plunge. She ends up having some success using a stage name and that’s when she meets the love interest. So she has to balance her singing persona while dating him and being her regular self with her friends and family. I don’t have any idea of the budget. Nothing is too elaborate currently, but maybe in the $1-5 M range.
I learned a lot from the opening call. I appreciated hearing how the process works and understanding the issues from the producer’s side and how the writer can’t have their way all the time or be too devoted to their words. They need to be professional and realize they are working for someone else.
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Hi everybody, I’m sorry I got started on this class and it’s half over already. I hope I can still participate. I’m in the middle of a script that I’ve outlined pretty thoroughly. It’s a romantic dramedy. I wrote 2 other scripts a decade or so. I hope to learn more practical skills and the business side of being paid to write.
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I, Trish McRae, agree to the terms of this release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
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It’s a psychological thriller. That’s probably a bad sign that it seems funny.