[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia Puts Essence to Work

What I learned is… Essence is the core, it’s like an apple core, it’s where the life of the apple starts, the seeds are contained in the core, sheltered, and then the apple (story) grows from there… without the seeds, the true essence of the scene / story the apple would have no meaning.

Script I choose: Clean Sweep

Scene 1 Location: Cleaning Company

Logline: Abby meets Rosa, who challenges her authority, as well as the rest of the maids, and learns the business is failing and in deep debt.

Essence I’ve discovered: Abby feels uncertain, she wants to stand her ground and take authority, but is afraid if she pushes too hard she’ll lose all of her father’s employees.

New Logline: Abby, shocked that her father’s business is in such dire straights, confronts the maids.

Scene 2 Location: Hospital Room

Logline: Abby walks into the hospital room to catch Jack feeding her father a bite of his favorite burger, she goes ballistic.

Essence I’ve discovered: Abby feels guilty that she hasn’t been home in a long time and displays her guilt by needing to be in control.

New Logline: Abby catches Jack feeding her father a bite of his favorite burger and is angry but torn about her relationship with her father vs. Jack’s relationship with her father.

Scene 3 Location: Hospital Garden

Logline: Abby and Jack have their first heart to heart, Abby and Jack both have their secrets.

Essence I’ve discovered: Abby wants to, but is afraid of opening up to jack about her past, which has made her become the damaged person she is today.

New Logline: Abby and Jack spend time in the Hospital Serenity garden, reminiscing the past, but holding back secrets.

Scene 4 Location: Boomer’s Apartment

Logline: Abby help’s Jack move a couch from Boomer’s apartment, which she thinks is Jack’s place.

Essence I’ve discovered: Abby think’s Boomer’s place is really Jack’s, but Jack doesn’t correct her because he is ashamed of his place.

New Logline: When Abby goes to help Jack move a couch from Boomer’s apartment… she mistakenly believes it’s his place.

Scene 5 Location: Jack’s Business

Logline: Jack asks Abby out to dinner

Essence I’ve discovered: Abby is consumed with overwhelming feelings after Jack asks her out to dinner. He obviously is someone who physically doesn’t seem to care about his appearance, though his “apartment” is spotless… and she’s afraid of germs… she relents because she really likes him, while his sloppiness also repulses her.

New Logline: When Jack asks Abby out for dinner, she has to battle her inner demons to say yes.
________________________________________

• This reply was modified 16 hours, 36 minutes ago by  Claudia Wolfkind.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia Wolfkind Finds the Essence

What I learned is that there is always more depth to great writing, it starts with getting to the essence of each scene, character and story.

Script I choose: When Harry Met Sally

Scene 1 Location: University of Chicago – street
Logline: Sally picks up Harry to drive to NYC.
Essence: These two people, who will later fall in love, could not be more different.

Scene 2 Location: 50 Diner, On the Road
Logline: Harry and Sally have their first meal and get to know each other.
Essence: Harry explains how men and women can never actually be friends because the sex gets in the way. Sally doesn’t want to believe him.

Scene 3 Location: NYC Deli – Katz’ deli
Logline: Harry and Sally have lunch, Sally embarrasses Harry.
Essence: Sally is tired of Harry always “using women” and wants to prove that women can fake an orgasm to make men’s ego’s feel better.

Scene 4 Location: Sally’s Apartment
Logline: Sally calls Harry, needing comfort after she learns Joe is getting married
Essence: Sally is FINALLY showing how upset she is that Joe didn’t want to marry her… she’s been holding in her pain for months and finally lets it out. Harry is over trying to make her feel better and they wind up having sex. This leads to him freaking out.

Scene 5 Location: NY Eve Party
Logline: Harry confronts Sally with his true feelings
Essence: Sally is trying to leave the party before midnight because she doesn’t have anyone to kiss. Harry realizes he loves Sally and runs to catch up with her at the party and express his love and wanting to spend his life with her.

My selection for most profound essence: The last scene, it;s the culmination of their relationship building over the last 11 years… friends who didn’t really realize that they were in love, fighting it all the way… until, they let go….

• This reply was modified 4 days, 18 hours ago by  Claudia Wolfkind.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia Wolfkind

I agree to the terms of the confidentiality agreement!

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

• This reply was modified 6 days, 17 hours ago by  Claudia Wolfkind.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Hi, I’m Claudia Wolfkind.

I’ve written numerous screenplays and have been optioned twice. I launched The Outdoor Channel in the 90s and was head of programming and development for a few years, producing numerous programs and series while there as well as producing a show for another cable network.

What do I hope to get out of this class? To find myself again… the writer I used to be and become even better. Almost 2 1/2 years ago I was attacked at work (someone stealing a room-sized rug) and when I stopped her, she hit me in the head with it. Since then I have had two surgeries, replacing discs in my neck and dealing with post-concussion syndrome (massive daily headaches, neck pain) as well nerve pain down my neck into my arms.

I have not written a single CREATIVE word since that time… and I’m praying this course brings me back from the brink. I’m no longer able to work outside the home, a curse and maybe a blessing, and I’m determined to write again and sell my projects.

Thanks!

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Rom/Com Project

What I learned doing this assignment: The more you dig deep into characters it elevates your understanding of what this story will need to make this come to fruition.

• Who is She?

Abby: an organizational expert who is a successful social media influencer, unfortunately, she’s also a terrible germaphobe thanks to a traumatic event from her childhood. She is missing a relationship with someone with whom she can really build a life.

In the opening scene we see Abby as a young girl watching her brother playing baseball. She’s completely bored. Her father is the coach of her brother’s team.

• Who is He?

Jack: is a master craftsman work-worker who owns his own mildly successful business. Jack is a life long friend of Abby’s family but they haven’t seen each other in 20 years, since they were teenagers. Jack avoids intimate relationships with women because he’s afraid his sloppy border-line hoarder secret will drive them away.

In the opening scenes we see Jack as a young boy playing baseball alongside Abby’s older brother.

• What makes them lovable?

Abby: Her eccentricities and the lengths she’ll go to avoid germs brings out the empathy in us. It’s endearing but also funny. The vulnerability that she tries to hide. She recognizes her own issues and tries to make fun of herself.

Jack: He’s an incredibly loyal friend. He’s self-deprecating. He’s caring and loving as well as generous and compassionate.

• What attracts them to each other?

What causes Abby to be attracted to Jack?

• He’s kind and loyal to her family

• He’s generous to the kids on the team

• He’s trustworthy and she feels safe with him

What causes Jack to be attracted to Abby?

• He finds her issues endearing

• He sees her huge heart even when she’s trying to protect herself with shields

• That she will go to any length to save her family

• What needs does each fulfill for the other?

What needs does Jack fulfill for Abby?

• The possibility of a long-term love story.

• A safe relationship that gives her what she can’t get from other people.

• The ability to be open about her issues, especially since he was there when it started.

What needs does Abby fulfill for Jack?

• He can make a difference for her.

• Being a part of a real family.

• A true love story that’s been growing since he was a teenager.

• This reply was modified 10 months ago by  Claudia Wolfkind.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

OKAY – THIS IS WEIRD… I LOOKED ON HERE SEVERAL TIMES YESTERDAY TO POST BUT THIS LESSON WASN'T SHOWING UP FOR ME… NOR WAS THERE A LESSON 2 POSTED. BUT IT'S SHOWING IT WAS POSTED YESTERDAY MORNING.

Claudia’s Romantic Comedy

What I learned doing this assignment: It was helpful writing out the steps that the story and characters must take for their journey and what keeps them together.

• Two People Who Belong Together:
Organizational Expert Abby is a germaphobe who is forced to take over her father’s cleaning business. Jack is a longtime family friend and cabinet maker who has a secret, he’s a massive slob.

• How Are They Separated:
Abby finds out Jack’s secret, it terrifies her. She later believes he was trying to destroy her father’s business.

• What Forces Them together:
Abby’s Dad. Abby is there trying handle the family business while her father is ill. Jack, a longtime family friend, visits and stays around to do whatever the family needs.

• Issues to be Resolved:
Abby is a germaphobe and Jack is a horrible slob.

• On Their Journey of Love:
They must reconcile their massive lifestyle issues to allow their love to take the front seat, they both need each other desperately, but neither will admit it.

• Experience of Falling In Love:
They both have that instant attraction, but it’s a bad time, Abby’s dad has just had a heart attack. Jack thinks he recognizes her, but it’s been years.

• The Journey of Love:
Abby needs Jack’s help and he’s more than happy to give it to her. They start seeing each other as each tries to keep their secret from the other.

• Relationship Set-up:
Abby is rushing to see her father in the hospital. She just passes Jack at the elevator. But then Jack is returning to the hospital room with coffees for the family and Abby barrels into him, getting both of them soaked with coffee.

• Issues each must Resolve:
Abby isn’t just a germaphobe, because of her past trauma she feels she needs to control everything in her life. Jack’s a slob and has been hiding it from all of his friends… they know he’s bad, but not nearly as bad as he actually is…

• Separation:
Abby is upset that Jack has been keeping a secret, and lying to her – like where he lives, not admitting his friend’s pristine apartment is not his own.

• How will Comedy be Expressed
Abby has to clean other people’s homes and goes to extremes to not be in contact with germs.

• This reply was modified 10 months ago by  Claudia Wolfkind.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Hi Everyone, my name is Claudia Wolfkind
I’ve written 9 feature films with two being optioned… one by Jodie Foster and one by Hans Zimmer with a former head from Bruckheimer; 3 regular TV shows (story) and have written/produced 13 infotainment programs.
I wanted to jump into this class to rewrite my romantic comedy and make sure I hit everything that’s needed for it to succeed. I’ve pitched it a couple of times and already had producers say “that’s a movie” – but life got in the way (cancer) before I could do a rewrite and get it to them. Then Covid hit and I got hit with two forms of cancer and it was pretty bad for a very long time. Now I’m making some major life changes (moving out of California to a family farm in southern Indiana where it will be much less stressful – AND…. I was just told I have another mass – haven’t biopsied it yet, hopefully within the next couple of weeks. So… I’m losing health insurance and having to decide what to do. Well… I’m going to write, regardless.
Something unique about me: I launched The Outdoor Channel… from scratch, without a penny for a programming budget and made it into the number one outdoor programming channel at the time…. I could go on, but I have writing to do! LOL

[Claudia Wolfkind]

I, Claudia Wolfkind agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Creating powerful introductions will pull in both actors and producers/directors.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

What I learned: The ending… it needs to have the layers so we can have a satisfying resolution…

[Claudia Wolfkind]

AMERICAN BEAUTY –

While I had difficulty with this movie and its theme, I can see the incredible writing prowess. The Resolution scene… Spacey is lying in a pool of blood, in his transition from life to death, remembering the beautiful moments of his life. His fear, anger, depression, everything has gone. Layer this with the gun shot, individually heard by the others.

The set/up is before the scene… he has changed his affection for his daughter’s friend from paramour or father figure. He sees his neighbor, who he tries to comfort, the neighbor thinks he’s having an affair with his son… he’s distraught, on many levels… for his son going “the wrong direction” and then his own secret attraction to men. PAY/OFF He shoots Spacey then runs to get cleaned up.

The ending is satisfying because Spacey’s character was repulsive throughout the movie but tries to redeem himself in the end… and lets go of his emotions and “relaxes.” Delivering character… every character was so well done.

Dialogue… the last line… saying we might not understand what he’s talking about, but, someday we will. We’re all going to die. Whether we have that experience of having our lives flash before us or it’s an immediate “lights out” remains to be seen. It appeared that Spacey went to Heaven… an interesting possibility for this character.

One further point, it’s been so long since I’ve seen the movie… in the end he appears to see the empty trash bag blowing in the wind… from the film the neighbor’s kid made… I don’t remember if he actually saw that while he was alive, or that was shown to us as a metaphor for an empty life blowing in the wind.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

What I learned… that it’s essential to elevate the situation, the dialogue, etc… make the conflict riveting, even if it’s a Rom/Com…. giving us a surprise twist will make it a more satisfying ending.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Scene Arc: Kaffee calls Jessep to the stand. Jessep is indignant and believes everyone else is below him and he can do whatever he wants. Kaffee gets Jessep to admit he ordered the illegal Code Red and he’s arrested at the end.

Conflict: Jessep believes he can do anything he wants in the name of keeping the country safe. He and Kaffee go back and forth as Kaffee tries to lead him to the final reveal.

Setup/Payoff: Kaffee is scared to go after Jessep because he could lose his career, but he knows he must, to properly defend his clients. Jessep screams that “you (he” can’t handle the truth) and how everyone wants him standing on that wall. He’s the reason they are safe. He gets up after admitting to ordering the Code Red, stunning everyone, and Kaffee calls for Jessep to be arrested and taken into custody. Jessep goes berserk as guards grab him, before he can jump Kaffee, who stands his ground. Kaffee has his last push with “you’re under arrest you son of a bitch”… something we know he’s been hoping for since he met him.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

What I learned… I went over my TPs in my script and looked at ways I could elevate it giving it more layers, what’s hiding beneath the surface? What can I reveal of a character’s emotion or work to expose more of their motivation?

[Claudia Wolfkind]

I watched the TPs for both movies… I hadn’t seen Get Out so it was a complete shock to me, what a disturbing story… I went on IMDB afterward to read the entire synopsis. Not a movie I would ever want to see! I’m not a fan of vulgarity, so I’m not a fan of Bridesmaids, but that’s the movie I’ll share my insights on…

What makes this scene great……. Kristin Wiig’s character, Annie, has been best friends with the bride to be, Lillian, played by Maya Rudolph, since childhood. Annie has been very down on her luck for quite some time but still wants to do what she can to help celebrate her best friend’s wedding as her “maid of honor.” The nemesis (Helen) is played by Rose Byrne who steals Annie’s ideas and seems to want to steal Lillian as well. In this TP Lillian opens an envelope from Helen to learn that she’s being given a trip to Paris, just her and Helen. Annie LOSES it… she gave Helen the entire Paris decorating idea to begin with… Annie destroys the party and can’t believe her best friend doesn’t see what’s happening to her leading to a huge fight where Lillian tells her not to come to the wedding.

It’s great because we see the descent of Annie into complete mayhem as the rest of the guests look on in shock and / or amusement. Helen, a trickster, plays the innocent. Lillian is upset her best friend has been ruining everything about the wedding. Annie feels betrayed and while she tries to badly explain what Helen has been doing, no one believes her. There are numerous levels going on here and that’s interesting to watch.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Scene arc… A jury takes its first vote and 11 men vote guilty, one does not. The hold out asks the men to give it an hour before sending the young man to his death.

A Jury is deliberating the guilt of an 18-year-old kid whether he murdered his father.

Conflict: Henry Fonda is the lone man holding out of a guilty verdict. All the others think he’s crazy for not seeing his guilt right away.

Setup/payoff…. Reveal of the character’s thoughts, psyche’s, discrimination as we go through the journey of going around the table and seeing Fonda’s reaction as well.

12 Angry Men — The first Vote

Second Watch:

Challenging Situation – an angry young man from the wrong side of the tracks is on trial for the murder of his father. One man votes not guilty leading the rest to slowly expose their thoughts, discriminations, prejudices and weaknesses.

Interesting Action: Fonda doesn’t get angry, he calmly states he “doesn’t know” if the boy is guilty, he just wants to “talk about it for a while.” …. Before sending the boy to his death. This leads the other characters to question him, others get angry.

Intriguing Dialogue: Fonda is the every man, kind and gentle in ways, yet strong of character. He can see beyond the basic circumstances but his dialogue is calm and questioning. It pulls out the other character’s personalities. “Suppose we get it wrong” “How long is it supposed to take?” (to vote to send someone to death. “They are all born liars”

Journey – Fonda’s character needs to go on a journey… he’s not ready to send this kid to his death…. He’s not convinced he’s guilty. He’s willing to stand up to all the rest if he needs to until he’s sure, one way or the other.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

What I learned… it’s of utmost importance that we create a compelling inciting incident that will propel the character’s journey throughout the second and third acts to the final conclusion. I do feel I have a strong and compelling inciting incident in my current project. Inciting incidences are everything, you don’t have a journey, an arc, without it.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

My insights are in the other post, I’m confused why we have to post twice. What I leaned for my own writing… is to keep in mind all of the elements not just for the opening scene, but for every scene, so we can elevate them to greater levels.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

I am probably the lone person who does NOT think this is a great scene. I felt it was cartoonish – however, I know that genre was that way, at least in the 50’s and 60’s. The “being thrown right into the action” is good, but the dialogue pulled me out of the action, again and again. I understand they were laying the groundwork to introduce the Joker, but I hated the execution of it. Yes, the action builds on itself and the bank manager gives us a twist (on top of the deaths of all of the robbers, save one)… but I couldn’t help but feel like I was watching something that was making fun of the genre.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia Wolfkind – I agree to the terms of this agreement

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

0

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia Wolfkind – I agree to the terms of this release form.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

CLAUDIA’S STRUCTURE SOLUTIONS!

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment: going scene by scene and looking at the structure is desperately needed to make sure you have a solid script.

Changes:

I veered off the outline and did some sweet and funny backstory… but it was too long so I cut what amounted to a couple of pages.

Added: Abby can’t live in the same city otherwise she would be home more often and she would know Jack. So, I’ve moved her to Chicago, which is just far enough away to make it difficult to get home.

Added: Scenes of her on the road and having trouble. Showing her issues with germs ((and adding some laughs, as it IS a rom-com).

I added the parents celebrating their 40^th Wedding Anniversary, belated after heart attack.

I fired Rosa (head maid) and redeemed Boomer.

I changed Boomer giving Abby a huge check to fix the “missing money” issue to Abby making it from the big job she does, because I thought it took the power away from Abby to solve her problems instead of a “white knight” swooping in at the end to save her family.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Marketable Components

When her father has a heart attack, a wannabe Martha Stewart germaphobe must take over the family cleaning business and meets the love of her life, the world’s worst slob.

Components:

Unique, Title and also similar to box office success

What I learned: Look for the marketability first, then write with that in mind.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Project and Market

Genre: Romantic Comedy

Title: Clean Sweep

Concept: A germaphobe must take over her father’s cleaning business after he has a heart attack, and meets the love of her life – the world’s biggest slob.

What is most attractive about this story – We haven’t seen this before – a germaphobe and a slob falling in love. It’s a clean (no pun intended) rom-com, open for any age.

Target – Who will I target first? I’m torn… while I have always believed that I should go direct to producers, targeting a manager may allow me to get it seen by many more producers, help with the negotiations and much more. I want to have that relationship with a good manager who understands me… I want a career, not one sale.

What I learned today – I actually love the business side so it’s great to be putting that hat back on as I juggle the creative and the business.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia Wolfkind

I agree to the terms of this release form!

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Hi I’m Claudia Wolfkind (sorry for the late start)

I’ve written 3 TV shows, 2 Direct to Video (produced), 8 Features (2 optioned) and have produced hundred of hours of content, writing quite a bit of it for the channel I worked for.

I want to strengthen my marketing skills so I can market the heck out of my work.

I spent a few years as Head of Programming & Development of the Outdoor Channel, during that time I produced numerous series including The Gold Prospecting Show… I can tell you, there’s still gold out in thar hills, LOL

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia Finished Act 4

Claudia Continuing Act 4

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams.
To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

What I learned…. it’s essential to create a great outline that you can work from as you speed through writing the first draft. I wrote this draft so much faster than any other script I’ve ever written. It feels really great to be done… this is a project I’ve had on my mind for several years and it’s DONE (the first draft). That feels spectacular. The timer method also made a huge difference.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia Continuing Act 4

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams.
To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

How’s It Going: While I’ve always written from an outline / beat sheet this time is massively different. I have such a clearer picture of what I want in each scene and I’m able to write it so much faster then I could have imagined. I used to feel amazed at myself for getting three pages written (old scripts)… now I feel bad if I’ve only written 5 and shoot for 6-10 or even more each time I sit down. I don’t know I’ll be able to, but I’m really hoping to finish the 4th Act tonight.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Started Act 4

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams.
To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

How’s It Going: Not getting as much writing time as I want, but when I do get to write it’s going pretty well. I’m really hoping to be done with the 1st draft in the next 2-3 days. While overall it’s taken me longer than I would have hoped, it IS the fastest I’ve ever written a first draft, using this method I easily shaved 1-2 months off my usual time. That’s spectacular! I also know that as I continue this method I will only get better…. the same as working a muscle, soon it’s strong and flexible.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Finishing Act 3

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams.
To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

How’s It Going – Writing was going much faster thanks to the timer, but tonight I was exhausted and feeling discombobulated. I had to force myself to focus (that was a struggle as I literally fell asleep sitting in front of my laptop!) I had hoped to get a few scenes from ACT 4 done tonight but it will have to wait.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Continuing Act 3

Vision: To become such an excellent
writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry,
that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams.
To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and
look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

How’s It Going – I started writing to the timer yesterday and it made all the difference in the world. I no longer feel the weight! I’m excited about this again!

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Began Act 3

Vision: To become such an excellent
writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry,
that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams.
To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and
look forward to pitching, meetings and much more

How’s It Going… Okay, the first few pages I was writing the old way BUT FASTER. I’m just catching up on the Mastery Sessions and emails that I somehow forgot to read. OY… AND yesterday I started writing to a timer… OMG… It was GREAT! I suddenly feel so much more empowered to get the first draft completed much faster.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Completed Act 2

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

While I’m writing faster than I’ve ever written before… I feel overwhelmed because I was ahead behind Module 5 and then couldn’t write for a week… I need to use the timer and I need to empower myself better.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Continuing Act 2 (actually it’s finished)

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

need to empower myself more and work on the fast writing muscle

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia : Began Act 2 (Actually I’ve finished At 2)

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

I need to empower myself more and work the fast writing muscle

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Finished Act 1 (and 2)

I have to say I did get very behind. I lost a week to some family issues. Then after that I had difficulty with writing fast. I’m still working on this… I just listened to the mastery session with the timer at the end… I need to do that! Some days I only wrote 2-4 pages, other days I wrote 8 even 12 pages (a couple of days) and I’m now in Act 3… writing at least 6 pages a day but I still don’t feel I’m writing as fast as I can. I must strengthen that muscle.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Act 1 First Draft Part 1

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

TITLE: CLEAN SWEEP / ROM-COM

Concept: After her father has a heart attack, a germophobic organizational expert must take over the family cleaning business and meets the love of her life, not knowing he’s a terrible slob.

What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment: I had a difficult time focusing on writing this week, we’ve got a fire burning close to us (the Fairview Fire) and several friends have already evacuated. That and being hot and exhausted from work I was only able to do a 1-2 pages at a time and one day I didn’t write at all. Yesterday (my day off) I sat down and popped out 6 pages and today I finished Act 1 with 3 more pages (thankfully it’s cooler today!)

I need to practice speed writing and not letting things interrupt me or having to fix things, etc. I didn’t strictly follow the outline; I added some very short scenes. I stopped myself several times trying to speed write… finally yesterday I put on some music and was able to focus!

I only have 15 pages for the first act, which tells me I need to fix this in the next draft!

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s High Speed Writing Rules

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

Concept: After her father has a heart attack, a germaphobe organizational expert must take over the family cleaning business and meets the love of her life, not knowing he’s a borderline hoarder.

What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment: It was so much easier to write the scene, focusing on speed and nothing else. I am having a hard time focusing on the writing though, simply because of the heat…. It’s 84 degrees in my home office, that’s with the AC on and fans going!

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s First Scene

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

Concept: After her father has a heart attack, a germaphobe organizational expert must take over the family cleaning business and meets the love of her life, not knowing he’s a borderline hoarder.

What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment: It was so much easier to write the first scene having the outline completely laid out… copy, paste, fill in the details!

[Claudia Wolfkind]

I’ve exchanged twice. Awaiting feedback from my second outline share.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Question about the outline. I’m working on my outline for the second round of exchanges… are we supposed to have the beginning/middle/ending in the outline or leave it out? The description after each slug line states what’s in these so it seems redundant.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

I’ve exchanged with Lori and Ian and we have given feedback. I missed the “only exchange with one person at a time” note in the email, the Mastery call evidently reiterated this, but it hasn’t been posted yet for those of us who aren’t available on Saturdays.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

I’m ready for feedback!

My Romantic Comedy “CLEAN SWEEP”: After her father suffers a heart attack a wannabe Martha Stewart germaphobe must take over her family’s cleaning business, along the way she meets the love of her life, not knowing he’s the world’s worst slob.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Fascinating Scene Outlines!

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment: Going scene by scene through the script this allows us to dissect and make sure each scene is fascinating by using the Big Picture/Character/Twist and Anticipation lists.

TITLE: CLEAN SWEEP

1) EXT. NASHVILLE, SKYLINE – DAY

Visions of Nashville from the Grand Ole Opry and Ryman, Gaylord Hotel to the Courthouse.

Scene Arc: From Abby doing daily duties to being questioned about book/interviews.

2) EXT. STREET – DAY

ABBY walking dog. She’s in booties, so is the dog. Cleans up after dog, takes it to garbage can, drops it and takes off her gloves, she’s got two sets of gloves on.

Essence: Displaying Abby has a few of germs.

Conflict: She must go through a lot of steps to feel safe.

Subtext: She knows this isn’t “normal” behavior

Hope/Fear: We hope she will get over the fear, we fear she will be forever locked in this phobia.

Beginning: (Intrigue) Abby is walking her dog, she’s in booties and gloves.

Middle: (Surprise) the dog is also in booties.

Ending: (Uncomfortable Moment) Cleans up after dog, put in garbage can, with the other set of gloves.

3) INT. HOME – DAY

Takes off dog’s booties and drops them in receptacle. Takes off her own garb and does the same.

4) INT. HOME – DAY

Abby is cleaning and reorganizing her closets, kitchen, pantry, etc. She’s upset by her pantry.

5) INT. HOME – DAY

Abby is in front of a camera shooting videos.

There are 3 PEOPLE on camera, light, sound, etc. Abby’s friend and producer/director, BONNIE calls a wrap. They’re batching several videos. The CREW is in booties and gloves, masks.

Abby thanks them by name as they leave.

Bonnie reminds Abby that people are wanting to interview her. Does she have a book?

Life is Messy, Clean It Up. You can’t organize your life happy? Watch Me.

Essence: Abby is an influencer who shoots organizational videos.

Conflict: Everyone has to conform to Abby’s fear of germs.

Subtext: She is pretending this is normal.

Hope/Fear: We hope she will get over the fear, we fear she will be forever locked in this phobia.

Beginning: (Intrigue) They are filming a show – in her townhome

Middle: (Surprise) The crew is in gloves and booties

Ending: (Uncomfortable Moment) Bonnie is trying to get her to do interviews.

6) EXT. BACKYARD, GREENHOUSE – DAY

Abby receives phone call; father has had heart attack.

Essence: learns father has had a heart attack

Conflict: will her father die?

Subtext: Scared of losing her father

Hope/Fear: Hoping father is okay. Fearing he will die.

Beginning: (More Interesting Setting) Garden. Stone, perfect sanctuary.

Middle: (Surprise) father has had heart attack

Ending: (Cliffhanger) Bonnie says she will watch dog, so she can run to hospital

7) EXT. CAR – DAY

Rushing to the hospital

Scene Arc: From meeting Jack to getting guilted in to running family business.

8) INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY – DAY

JACK comes around the corner of the elevator carrying several coffees.

Elevator door opens and Abby crashes into him, coffee everywhere and all over each other. A few relish packages fall to the floor from Jack’s shirt. There’s a spark of recognition, but not sure.

Essence: Jack is bringing coffee to Frank’s family when he runs into Abby

Conflict: Crash into each other, it’s a mess

Subtext: Jack’s a good guy but hiding something (relish packet).

Hope/Fear: Hope all if okay, Fear her father will die.

Beginning: (Surprise) Abby crashes into Jack who is holding several coffees.

Middle: (Uncomfortable Moment) They are both drenched with coffee.

Ending: (Mislead/Reveal/Uncertainty) relish packets fall from his pocket. She thinks she recognizes him.

9) INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY

Abby enters hospital room to find her DAD in bed, her brother, DAN and her MOTHER standing by the bed. She hugs them and hugs her dad, who doesn’t look that bad considering. They run down what happened. He was at the ballfield coaching the kids.

DOCTOR comes in, tells them his condition, he’ll be laid up several weeks.

Essence: Abby finds out what happened to father

Conflict: will he recover and be the same?

Subtext: Fear of losing her father

Hope/Fear: Hoping father is okay. Fearing he will die.

Beginning: (Char Changes Radically) Rushing in, bursts into tears, hugging everyone.

Middle: (Surprise) Her dad was at the ballfield; she didn’t know he was still coaching

Ending: (Suspense) He suffered a major heart attack and will be laid up for weeks. * Maybe needs surgery? Stent?

10) INT. HOSPITAL BATHROOM – DAY

Abby goes to the bathroom to get cleaned up.

11) INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY

Jack comes into the room with fresh coffees. Dan and mother thank him. Dan makes a comment that he looks like S_ _ _ and Jack says someone crashed into him. (so, we know he doesn’t realize it’s Abby). Jack mentions Boomer is watching kids and Dan and Frank make a crack about that. (called to have parents pick them up)

NURSE comes in and says too many people there. Jack leaves.

Abby comes out of the bathroom, looking a little worse for wear. She takes a coffee, not knowing where it came from. She’s guilted into taking over the business while her Dad is laid up.

Essence: Establish the family, Jack’s role, and getting Abby to agree to take care of the business.

Conflict: Abby doesn’t have time to watch the business, lay her own dreams aside.

Subtext: Abby is always the one they rely on; they elevate Dan and his profession above hers.

Hope/Fear: Hope: Abby will watch business, Fear: she will say no.

Beginning: (Superior Position) We know it was Abby Jack crashed into.

Middle: (Twist) they want her to take over business

Ending: (Dilemma) guilted into taking over the business.

ACT TWO:

Scene Arc: From arriving at business to having the maids reject her authority

12) EXT. CLEANING BUSINESS – DAY

Abby arrives at Business. It looks run down from the outside.

13) INT. CLEANING BUSINESS – DAY

It’s a mess. The Office is a mess, papers everywhere.

14) INT. BREAKROOM – DAY

The Maids (MEET ROSA) are in the breakroom, drinking coffee.

There’s a butting of heads immediately between Abby and Rosa. Abby thinks the maids should be working, if not on a job, what about cleaning the office. The Maids laugh at her.

Essence: Abby is shocked the business is in such disarray.

Conflict: Abby needs the maids to do more work, they reject her.

Subtext: Abby feels the weight of the situation and isn’t getting help.

Hope/Fear: We hope she can handle it; we fear she can’t.

Beginning: (Surprise) The business is physically a mess

Middle: (Uncomfortable Moment) Asking the maids to clean the place.

Ending: (Misinterpretation) The maids laugh at her, do not respect her authority. She feels they are betraying her father.

15) INT. CLEANING BUSINESS – DAY

Abby attempts to clean things up, first in the office. Trying to deal with germs. She’s literally in a hazmat suit, as is the dog.

Maids think she’s nuts.

16) INT. OFFICE – DAY

Abby goes through paperwork; she picks it up with gloves on. She attempts looking into the accounts that are written down in her notebook and on the computer.

Scene Arc: from going to confront father to being stonewalled by the collaborating Frank and Jack.

17) EXT. HOSPITAL DAY

Abby pulls into the hospital parking lot.

18) INT. HOSPITAL – DAY

Goes to hospital with File… to confront father. He feigns being asleep. Jack enters the room with a bag of hamburgers, Jack’s helping her father get away with pretending to be asleep.

Essence: Abby needs answers about the business.

Conflict: Jack helps Frank feign sleep.

Subtext: Frank doesn’t want to deal with the reality of the state of the business.

Hope/Fear: We hope Abby will get answers, we fear the business will fail.

Beginning: (Mislead) Frank sees Abby coming with a file. Abby comes in and Frank pretends to be asleep (doesn’t want to answer questions)

Middle: (Twist) Jack comes in with take out, tries to cover for Frank.

Ending: (Rad Char Change) Abby grabs the food away from her father and throws it in the trash.

19) INT. CLEANING BUSINESS – DAY

She tries to push the maids to do more work in less time. Maids feel she’s spying/checking up on them.

Scene Arc: From seeking her brother’s advice to having Boomer realize she’s in charge.

20) EXT. BALLFIELD – DAY

Abby goes to speak with her brother, who is at the ballfield. She’s surprised to see Jack there. She learns that Jack’s taken her dad’s place coaching, until he’s better. Jack’s friends with Dan since childhood.

21) EXT. BALLFIELD – DAY

Dan and Boomer, their friend, are helping. *Why does Dan have time to coach but not help with the business? Boomer realizes who Abby is and wants to get closer.

Essence: Abby is seeking answers.

Conflict: Dan is evasive; Boomer wants to get closer (for info)

Subtext: Abby is frustrated by the lack of help but sees another side of everyone.

Hope/Fear: We hope Abby will get help, we fear she’ll be left alone to handle it all.

Beginning: (Intrigue) Abby gets to the ballfield and sees Dan and Jack coaching the kids.

Middle: (Mislead) Dan is too busy to help with business but not baseball?

Ending: (Misinterpretation) Boomer wants to get close to Abby and she thinks it’s because he likes her

Flashback: How Abby became a germaphobe. Jack was there as well and helped her, like a Knight in shining armor.

22) EXT. CARNIVAL – NIGHT

Abby, Age 6 is riding on a pony.

Dan, Jack and Boomer, age 10, are horsing around. They’ve just come from baseball practice, still in uniform, holding gloves, balls, etc. Boomer decides to hit a ball up into the sky… it comes down…

Hitting Abby’s pony in the rump. The pony rears up and takes off, Abby holds on tight, SCREAMING.

PEOPLE rush to stop the pony… it bolts away and then plants its feet, stopping in front of a fence so fast Abby can’t hold on…. Sending her flying… right into a large pile of horse poop.

Abby is SCREAMING AND CRYING.

The boys are there. Boomer is LAUGHING. Dan is punching his arm and telling him to stop laughing. Jack grabs Abby’s arm and pulls her out of it. He asks if she’s okay, but Abby, unable to talk, runs away.

Scene Arc: From moving a couch from Boomer’s place to Jack’s warehouse.

23) EXT. PARKING LOT – DAY

Jack must move a couch, for the kid’s clubhouse. Boomer can’t make it so hands Jack his keys, but Abby doesn’t see this.

24) INT. BOOMER’S APT – DAY

Goes to Boomer’s place, swanky apartment, she thinks it’s Jack’s place. He doesn’t correct her. She helps him carry the couch out and into his truck.

(Misinterpretation & Mislead)

25) INT. JACK’S BUSINESS – DAY

They move the couch into a back office at Jack’s business, setting it up for the kids.

26) INT. JACK’S BUSINESS – DAY

Jack shows her around his business, modular systems he’s creating. She mentions the Pantry idea.

Essence: Abby thinks Boomer’s apt. is Jack’s place and he doesn’t correct her.

Conflict: It’s Boomer’s place, Jack’s lying.

Subtext: Jack is hiding that he’s a slob.

Hope/Fear: We hope that Abby and Jack grow closer, we Fear his lie will hurt that.

Beginning: (Superior Position) we know that Boomer gave Jack the keys to his apartment.

Middle: (Mislead) Jack doesn’t correct Abby who thinks it’s his apartment.

Ending: (Mystery) what’s in the room in the warehouse that Jack is trying to hide?

27) INT. CLIENT’S HOME – DAY

Abby attempts to do some cleaning herself to see what the maids are up against.

28) INT. HOPITAL – DAY

Abby and Dan are helping their mother take Frank home (leaving hospital)

29) INT. FRANK’S HOME – DAY

Abby finally gets a minute alone with her Dad and tries to talk to him about selling the business. Doesn’t go well.

30) INT. OFFICE – DAY

Tries to find a way out of the debt. PUSHES MAIDS.

Midpoint:

Scene Arc: from having employees to the maids calling out and the letter.

31) INT. OFFICE – DAY

The maids have had enough and issue a sick out/strike, no one is cleaning.

The business gets a Notice of Action for failure to pay bills.

Abby listens to one after the other call out.

LETTER FROM A RANDALL’S LAW FIRM.

Essence: The maids have called a Maid Flu

Conflict: Without employees a business goes under

Subtext: Abby thinks it’s all about her, and she’s destroying her family’s business.

Hope/Fear: We hope she’ll find a way to make it work, we fear the business will go under.

Scene Arc: From Boomer sitting in his car to Rosa taking a payoff.

Beginning: (Intrigue) Abby arrives to hear Rosa call out sick.

Middle: (Betrayal) Abby hears every single one of the maids has called out

Ending: (Uncertainty) Abby has no idea how they will pay the bills.

32) EXT. BALLFIELD PARKING LOT – DAY

Boomer is paying off the maids to stay home.

Essence: Boomer is paying off the maids to stay out to destroy the business.

Conflict: Will Boomer be found out?

Subtext: Boomer pretends to care but instead is trying to destroy.

Hope/Fear: We hope the plot will be found out; we fear it won’t.

Beginning: (Superior Position) We see Rosa meeting with Boomer

Middle: (Betrayal) Boomer is paying off the maids.

Ending: (Mystery) BASEBALL KID wonders who Boomer is talking to in the car – sees him giving her money

Act 3:

Scene Arc: From cleaning homes to realizing Jack’s got a problem.

33) INT. MULTIPLE HOMES – DAY

Abby attempts cleaning everything by herself. Rosa and maids are spying on her.

She goes to clean Jack’s real home; she finds the RELISH DRAWER.

Essence: Abby’s cleaning homes, discovers Jack’s secret.

Conflict: Realizes Jack lied, he’s got a secret.

Subtext: How can she be with someone who’s like Jack?

Hope/Fear: We hope Abby and Jack will get together but fear his problem will prevent it.

Beginning: (Intrigue) Abby attempts to clean homes by herself.

Middle: (Betrayal) Maids are spying on her

Ending: (Surprise) Abby finds Jack’s relish drawer.

34) INT. CAR – DAY

Abby tries to hire more maids. Agency won’t send more maids, rumor of abuse.

Call from Jack. She doesn’t answer.

Scene Arc: From visiting Rosa’s to realizing they are pretending to be sick.

35) EXT. ROSA’S HOUSE – DAY

Abby goes to Rosa’s house. They are pretending to be sick but are actually playing poker and watching Mexican Telenovelas.

Essence: Abby goes to Rosa’s.

Conflict: Abby is trying to find out the truth.

Subtext: The maids are pretending to be sick.

Hope/Fear: We hope Abby will learn the truth; we Fear the maids will not help her

Another call from Jack. Avoiding.

Beginning: (Uncomfortable Moment) Abby goes to Rosa’s to “see how she is feeling”

Middle: (Mislead/Reveal) The maids are together, playing poker

Ending: (Internal Dilemma) Abby doesn’t know what to do. She tries to see inside the home.

36) EXT. CLEANING SERVICE – DAY

Abby is outside a cleaning company like Merry Maids. She’s trying to covertly hire away maids. Leaving notices on maid’s cars, doing a deep throat “whispering” to maids walking towards business.

37) EXT. CLIENT HOUSE – DAY

Lugging cleaning supplies to her car. Message on her phone (delinquent) Abby thinks about selling the business. She can’t keep cleaning by herself.

Message from a maid… quitting. Most of new maids fail (by design).

Call from Jack, this time she answers.

38) EXT. BALLPARK – DAY

Ballpark: eating hotdogs, relish…. Abby and Jack have a heart to heart. Jack admits to being in therapy. He says he can get a friend to look at books.

Scene Arc: From giving Boomer files to him advising to sell right away.

39) INT. SPORTSBAR – AFTERNOON

Jack and Abby give Boomer the files to look over. Hoping to find a way out. He says best to sell as quickly as possible. Boomer pretends he forgot wallet in car.

Essence: Jack and Abby trust Boomer with the books.

Conflict: Will they learn the truth about Boomer?

Subtext: Boomer wants to destroy Abby’s business to buy it cheap.

Hope/Fear: We hope Boomer will be trustworthy. We Fear Boomer will use this to destroy Abby.

Beginning: (Superior Position) Jack and Abby give Boomer the books, we already know he isn’t going to help.

Middle: (Mislead/Reveal) Boomer says it’s hopeless and she should sell right away.

Ending: (Mystery) Boomer pretends he’s left his wallet in the car. (maybe Jack finds it?)

40) EXT. SPOTSBAR PARKING LOT – AFTERNOON

Boomer calls father to tell him about the books.

41) INT. ABBY’S HOME – DAY

Abby gets a message from Bonnie… intriguing opportunity.

42) INT. HISTORIC MANSION – DAY

Abby is touring mansion. Older WOMAN explains she saw her YT channel and loved her ideas. Wants her to tackle this huge project for her formal event. Bonnie with her… they have an idea (film the job).

43) INT. CLEANING BUSINESS – DAY

New maids have quit. Bills are due, the lights are literally going out; clients are cancelling left and right.

Abby gets letter from Randall’s Law firm. Last Chance to sell.

Deeper Layer: Abby can’t do this anymore, she’s falling apart. Jack offers to help.

Abby’s stress makes her symptoms worse.

Act 4:

Scene Arc: From kids playing to Abby and Jack finding out Boomer paid off maids.

44) EXT. BALLFIELD – DAY

Abby, Jack and kids are there. Kids are playing.

45) EXT. BALLFIELD PARKING LOT – DAY

Boomer has just pulled into a spot. Rosa shows up, confronting him.

46) EXT. BALLFIELD – DAY

Kid says “there’s that lady, again” causing Abby and Jack to look over – and see Rosa with Boomer. What’s happening?

47) EXT. BALLFIELD PARKING LOT – DAY

Rosa is upset, the checks bounced. Abby and Jack are there. Abby grabs the check… it’s the same name Randall… they are stunned.

Boomer takes off.

Abby blames Jack for exposing their company info to Boomer and accuses Jack of being in on it. She breaks up with him.

Jack is devastated. He goes after Boomer.

Essence: Lies and deception are exposed.

Conflict: Will Abby and Jack learn the truth?

Subtext: Boomer is found out.

Hope/Fear: We hope Abby and Jack will learn the truth; we fear this will hurt them more.

Beginning: (Intrigue) The kid says something about Rosa and Boomer, causing Abby and Jack to go over to the parking lot.

Middle: (Surprise) Abby grabs the check and she and Jack realize what’s happened.

Ending: (Cliffhanger) A devastated Jack goes after Boomer

48) EXT. BAR – DAY

Jack drives by bar and sees Boomer’s car.

Scene Arc: From Jack looking for Boomer to a fist fight.

49) INT. BAR – DAY

Boomer’s already drinking, almost drunk. He deflects, lies and then says it’s all his father’s idea. Jack and Boomer get into a fist fight. Lifelong friendships are on the line.

Essence: Jack confronts Boomer

Conflict: Will Boomer confess?

Subtext: Boomer says it was all his father’s idea.

Beginning: (Intrigue) Boomer is drunk. He’s guilt ridden.

Middle: (Char Changes Radically) Jack is so angry he punches Boomer, fist fight ensues.

Ending: (Internal Dilemma) Boomer says it was all his father’s idea, he didn’t want to do it but had to… you know my old man!)

Hope/Fear: We hope Jack will get the truth; we Fear his relationship with Abby is ruined.

50) INT. MANSION – DAY

Abby is going over plans with woman.

Scene Arc: From Abby reaching out to maids to the event being a huge success.

51) INT. CAR – DAY

Abby realizes she can’t do this by herself.

52) EXT. ROSA’S HOUSE – DAY

She goes to the maids one last time and apologizes.

53) INT. MANSION – DAY

Abby, Bonnie and Maids work together under Abby’s instruction.

54) EXT. MANSION – NIGHT

Cars line up outside the mansion. People in evening gowns and tuxes.

55) INT. MANSION – NIGHT

Jack shows up at the event, IN A TUX… he can be cleaned up and neat!

The people the event is for are so impressed they give Abby a huge cleaning contract that will 10X the size of the business.

Essence: Everyone needs to work together to accomplish the mission

Conflict: Can they finish in time?

Subtext: Abby is hiding her fear, has to push through harder than ever.

Hope/Fear: We hope Abby pulls off the event, we fear she and Jack won’t get back together.

Beginning: (Uncomfortable Moment) Abby reaches out to Rosa and the maids… apologizes!

Middle: (Intrigue) they all work together to bring it all together.

Ending: (Surprise) Jack shows up in a tux, he looks amazing. People give her a huge contract.

56) INT. CLEANING BUSINESS – DAY

Her Dad is well enough to come back.

Abby puts Rosa in charge to help her Dad.

57) INT. LAWFIRM – DAY

Boomer is fired by his dad for not making the deal happen.

58) EXT. BALLFIELD – DAY

Boomer comes clean and apologizes.

59) INT. JACK’S WAREHOUSE – DAY

Jack shows Abby his plans for her business. The Modular Pantry System.

60) INT. TV STUDIO – DAY

Abby goes on her book tour, in front of TV audiences.

61) EXT. BALLFIELD – DAY

Father is coaching the kids and the family is in the bleachers watching the game, eating hotdogs, rooting for

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Scene Requirements

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment: You have to dig deep to create scenes that will justify an audience rooting for your characters and story.

EXT. NASHVILLE, SKYLINE – DAY Visions of Nashville from the Grand Ol Opry and Ryman, Gaylord Hotel to the Courthouse.

Scene Arc: From Abby doing daily duties to being questioned about book/interviews.

EXT. STREET – DAY

ABBY walking dog. She’s in booties, so is the dog. Cleans up after dog, takes it to garbage can, drops it and takes off her gloves, she’s got two sets of gloves on.

Essence: Displaying Abby has a few of germs.

Conflict: She has to go through a lot of steps to feel safe.

Subtext: She knows this isn’t “normal” behavior

Hope/Fear: We hope she will get over the fear, we fear she will be forever locked in this phobia.

INT. HOME – DAY

Takes off dog’s booties and drops them in receptacle. Takes off her own garb and does the same.

INT. HOME – DAY

Abby is cleaning and reorganizing her closets, kitchen, pantry, etc. She’s upset by her pantry.

INT. HOME – DAY

Abby is in front of a camera shooting videos. There are 3 PEOPLE many camera, light, sound, etc. Abby’s friend and producer/director, BONNIE calls a wrap. They’ve batched several videos. The CREW is in booties and gloves, masks. Abby thanks them by name as they leave. Bonnie reminds Abby that people are wanting to interview her. Does she have a book?

Life is Messy, Clean It Up. You can’t organize your life happy? Watch Me.

Essence: Abby is an influencer who shoots organizational videos.

Conflict: Everyone has to conform to Abby’s fear of germs.

Subtext: She is pretending this is normal.

Hope/Fear: We hope she will get over the fear, we fear she will be forever locked in this phobia.

EXT. BACKYARD, GREENHOUSE – DAY

Abby receives phone call, father has had heart attack.

Essence: learns father has had a heart attack

Conflict: will her father die?

Subtext: Scared of losing her father

Hope/Fear: Hoping father is okay. Fearing he will die.

EXT. CAR – DAY

Rushing to the hospital

Scene Arc: From meeting Jack to getting guilted in to running family business.

INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY – DAY

JACK comes around the corner of the elevator carrying several coffees.

Elevator door opens and Abby crashes into him, coffee everywhere and all over each other. A few relish packages fall to the floor from Jack’s shirt. There’s a spark of recognition, but not sure.

Essence: Jack is bringing coffee to Frank’s family when he runs into Abby

Conflict: Crash into each other, it’s a mess

Subtext: Jack’s a good guy but hiding something (relish packet).

Hope/Fear: Hope all if okay, Fear it won’t be

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY

Abby enters hospital room to find her DAD in bed, her brother, DAN and her MOTHER standing by the bed. She hugs them and hugs her dad, who doesn’t look that bad considering. They run down what happened. He was at the ballfield coaching the kids.

Dr comes in, tells them his condition, he’ll be laid up several weeks.

Essence: Abby finds out what happened to father

Conflict: will he recover and be the same?

Subtext: Fear of losing her father

Hope/Fear: Hoping father is okay. Fearing he will die.

INT. HOSPITAL BATHROOM – DAY

Abby goes to the bathroom to get cleaned up.

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY

Jack comes into the room with fresh coffees. Dan and mother thank him. Dan makes a comment that he looks like S_ _ _ and Jack says someone crashed into him. (so we know he doesn’t know Abby). Jack mentions Boomer is watching kids and Dan and Frank make a crack about that. NURSE comes in and says too many people there. Jack leaves.

Abby comes out of the bathroom, looking a little worse for wear. She takes a coffee, not knowing where it came from. She’s guilted into taking over the business while her Dad is laid up.

Essence: Establish the family, Jack’s role, and getting Abby to agree to take care of the business.

Conflict: Abby doesn’t have time to watch the business, lay her own dreams aside.

Subtext: Abby is always the one they rely on; they elevate Dan and his profession above hers.

Hope/Fear: Hope: Abby will watch business, Fear: she will say no.

ACT TWO:

Scene Arc: From arriving at business to having the maids reject her authority

EXT. CLEANING BUSINESS – DAY

Abby arrives at Business. It looks run down from the outside.

INT. CLEANING BUSINESS – DAY

It’s a mess. The Office is a mess, papers everywhere.

INT. BREAKROOM – DAY

The Maids (MEET ROSA) are in the breakroom, drinking coffee.

There’s a butting of heads immediately between Abby and Rosa. Abby thinks the maids should be working, if not on a job, what about cleaning the office. The Maids laugh at her.

Essence: Abby is shocked the business is in such disarray.

Conflict: Abby needs the maids to do more work, they reject her.

Subtext: Abby feels the weight of the situation and isn’t getting help.

Hope/Fear: We hope she can handle it, we fear she can’t.

INT. CLEANING BUSINESS – DAY

Abby attempts to clean things up, first in the office. Trying to deal with germs. She’s literally in a hazmat suit, as is the dog.

Maids think she’s nuts.

INT. OFFICE – DAY

Abby goes through paperwork; she picks it up with gloves on. She attempts looking into the accounts that are written down in her notebook and on the computer.

Scene Arc: from going to confront father to being stonewalled by the collaborating Frank and Jack.

INT. HOSPITAL – DAY

Goes to hospital with File… to confront father. He feigns being asleep. Jack enters the room with a bag of hamburgers, Jack’s helping her father get away with this (pretending to be asleep).

Essence: Abby needs answers about the business.

Conflict: Jack helps Frank feign sleep.

Subtext: Frank doesn’t want to deal with the reality of the state of the business.

Hope/Fear: We hope Abby will get answers, we fear the business will fail.

INT. CLEANING BUSINESS – DAY

She tries to push the maids to do more work in less time. Maids feel she’s spying/checking up on them.

Scene Arc: From seeking her brother’s advice to having Boomer realize she’s in charge.

EXT. BALLFIELD – DAY

Abby goes to speak with her brother, who is at the ballfield. She’s surprised to see Jack there. She learns that Jack’s taken her dad’s place coaching, until he’s better. Jack’s friends with Dan since childhood.

EXT. BALLFIELD – DAY

Dan and Boomer, their friend, are helping. *Why does Dan have time to coach but not help with the business? Boomer realizes who Abby is and wants to get closer.

Essence: Abby is seeking answers.

Conflict: Dan is evasive; Boomer wants to get closer (for info)

Subtext: Abby is frustrated by the lack of help but sees another side of everyone.

Hope/Fear: We hope Abby will get help, we fear she’ll be left alone to handle it all.

Flashback: How Abby became a germaphobe. Jack was there as well and helped her, like a Knight in shining armor.

Scene Arc: From moving a couch from Boomer’s place to Jack’s warehouse.

EXT. PARKING LOT – DAY

Jack has to move a couch, for the kid’s clubhouse. Boomer can’t make it so hands Jack his keys, but Abby doesn’t see this.

INT. BOOMER’S APT – DAY

Goes to Boomer’s place, swanky apartment, she thinks it’s Jack’s place. He doesn’t correct her. She helps him carry the couch out and into his truck.

INT. JACK’S BUSINESS – DAY

They move the couch into a back office at Jack’s business, setting it up for the kids.

INT. JACK’S BUSINESS – DAY

Jack shows her around his business, modular systems he’s creating. She mentions the Pantry idea.

Essence: Abby thinks Boomer’s apt. is Jack’s place and he doesn’t correct her.

Conflict: It’s Boomer’s place, Jack’s lying.

Subtext: Jack is hiding that he’s a slob.

Hope/Fear: We hope that Abby and Jack grow closer, we Fear his lie will hurt that.

INT. JACK’S HOME – DAY

Abby attempts to do some cleaning herself to see what the maids are up against.

INT. HOPITAL – DAY

Abby and Dan are helping their mother take Frank home (leaving hospital)

INT. FRANK’S HOME – DAY

Abby finally gets a minute alone with her Dad and tries to talk to him about selling the business. Doesn’t go well.

INT. OFFICE – DAY

Tries to find a way out of the debt. PUSHES MAIDS.

Midpoint:

Scene Arc: from having employees to the maids calling out and the letter.

INT. OFFICE – DAY

The maids have had enough and issue a sick out/strike, no one is cleaning. The business gets a Notice of Action for failure to pay bills. Abby listens to one after the other call out.

LETTER FROM A RANDALL’S LAW FIRM.

Essence: The maids have called a Maid Flu

Conflict: Without employees a business goes under

Subtext: Abby thinks it’s all about her, and she’s destroying her family’s business.

Hope/Fear: We hope she’ll find a way to make it work, we fear the business will go under.

Scene Arc: From Boomer sitting in his car to Rosa taking a payoff.

EXT. BALLFIELD PARKING LOT – DAY

Boomer is paying off the maids to stay home.

Essence: Boomer is paying off the maids to stay out to destroy the business.

Conflict: Will Boomer be found out?

Subtext: Boomer pretends to care but instead is trying to destroy.

Hope/Fear: We hope the plot will be found out, we fear it won’t.

Act 3:

Scene Arc: From cleaning homes to realizing Jack’s got a problem.

INT. MULTIPLE HOMES – DAY

Abby attempts cleaning everything by herself. Rosa and maids are spying on her. She goes to clean Jack’s real home, she finds the RELISH DRAWER.

Essence: Abby’s cleaning homes, discovers Jack’s secret.

Conflict: Realizes Jack lied, he’s got a secret.

Subtext: How can she be with someone who’s like Jack?

Hope/Fear: We hope Abby and Jack will get together, but Fear his problem will prevent it.

INT. CAR – DAY

Abby tries to hire more maids. Agency won’t send more maids.

Call from Jack. She doesn’t answer.

Scene Arc: From visiting Rosa’s to realizing they are pretending to be sick.

EXT. ROSA’S HOUSE – DAY

Abby goes to Rosa’s house. They are pretending to be sick but are actually playing poker and watching Mexican Telenovelas.

Essence: Abby goes to Rosa’s.

Conflict: Abby is trying to find out the truth.

Subtext: The maids are pretending to be sick.

Hope/Fear: We hope Abby will learn the truth, we Fear the maids will not help her

Another call from Jack. Avoiding.

INT. CLEANING BUSINESS – DAY

Abby thinks about selling the business. She can’t keep cleaning by herself. Most of new maids fail (by design). Call from Jack, this time she answers.

EXT. BALLPARK – DAY

Ballpark: eating hotdogs, Abby and Jack have a heart to heart. Jack admits to being in therapy. He says he can get a friend to look at books.

Scene Arc: From giving Boomer files to him advising to sell right away.

INT. SPORTSBAR – AFTERNOON

Jack and Abby give Boomer the files to look over. Hoping to find a way out. He says best to sell as quickly as possible.

Essence: Jack and Abby trust Boomer with the books.

Conflict: Will they learn the truth about Boomer?

Subtext: Boomer wants to destroy Abby’s business to buy it cheap.

Hope/Fear: We hope Boomer will be trustworthy. We Fear Boomer will use this to destroy Abby.

INT. ABBY’S HOME – DAY

Abby gets a message from Bonnie… intriguing opportunity.

INT. HISTORIC MANSION – DAY

Abby is touring mansion. Older WOMAN explains she saw her YT channel and loved her ideas. Wants her to tackle this huge project for her formal event.

INT. CLEANING BUSINESS – DAY

New maids have quit. Bills are due, the lights are literally going out; clients are cancelling left and right.

Abby gets letter from Randall’s Law firm. Last Chance to sell.

Deeper Layer: Abby can’t do this anymore, she’s falling apart. Jack offers to help.

Abby’s stress makes her symptoms worse.

Act 4:

Scene Arc: From kids playing to Abby and Jack finding out Boomer paid off maids.

EXT. BALLFIELD – DAY

Abby, Jack and kids are there. Kids are playing.

EXT. BALLFIELD PARKING LOT – DAY

Boomer has just pulled into a spot. Rosa shows up, confronting him.

EXT. BALLFIELD – DAY

Kid says “there’s that lady, again” causing Abby and Jack to look over – and see Rosa with Boomer. What’s happening?

EXT. BALLFIELD PARKING LOT – DAY

Rosa is upset, the checks bounced. Abby and Jack are there. Abby grabs the check… it’s the same name Randall… they are stunned.

Boomer takes off.

Abby blames Jack for exposing their company info to Boomer and accuses Jack of being in on it. She breaks up with him.

Jack is devastated. He goes after Boomer.

Essence: Lies and deception are exposed.

Conflict: Will Abby and Jack learn the truth?

Subtext: Boomer is found out.

Hope/Fear: We hope Abby and Jack will learn the truth, we fear this will hurt them more.

EXT. BAR – DAY

Jack drives by bar and sees Boomer’s car.

Scene Arc: From Jack looking for Boomer to a fist fight.

INT. BAR – DAY

Boomer’s already drinking, almost drunk. He deflects, lies and then says it’s all his father’s idea. Jack and Boomer get into a fist fight. Lifelong friendships are on the line.

Essence: Jack confronts Boomer

Conflict: Will Boomer confess?

Subtext: Boomer says it was all his father’s idea.

Hope/Fear: We hope Jack will get the truth; we Fear his relationship with Abby is ruined.

INT. MANSION – DAY

Abby is going over plans with woman.

Scene Arc: From Abby reaching out to maids to the event being a huge success.

INT. CAR – DAY

Abby realizes she can’t do this by herself.

EXT. ROSA’S HOUSE – DAY

She goes to the maids one last time and apologizes.

INT. MANSION – DAY

Abby, Bonnie and Maids work together under Abby’s instruction.

EXT. MANSION – NIGHT

Cars line up outside the mansion. People in evening gowns and tuxes.

INT. MANSION – NIGHT

Jack shows up at the event, IN A TUX… he can be cleaned up and neat!

The people the event is for are so impressed they give Abby a huge cleaning contract that will 10X the size of the business.

Essence: Everyone needs to work together to accomplish the mission

Conflict: Can they finish in time?

Subtext: Abby is hiding her fear, has to push through harder than ever.

Hope/Fear: We hope Abby pulls off the event, we fear she and Jack won’t get back together.

INT. CLEANING BUSINESS – DAY

Her Dad is well enough to come back.

Abby puts Rosa in charge to help her Dad.

INT. LAWFIRM – DAY

Boomer is fired by his dad for not making the deal happen.

EXT. BALLFIELD – DAY

Boomer comes clean and apologizes.

INT. JACK’S WAREHOUSE – DAY

Jack shows Abby his plans for her business. The Modular Pantry System.

INT. TV STUDIO – DAY

Abby goes on her book tour, in front of TV audiences.

EXT. BALLFIELD – DAY

Father is coaching the kids and the family is in the bleachers watching the game, eating hotdogs, rooting for the kids.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Claudia Wolfkind.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Intriguing Moments

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment: Making sure we design intriguing moments into every act will engage the audience and producers!

ACT 1:

Intrigue: Abby is walking with gloves and booties, as is her dog. What’s happening?

Secret: Relish packets fall from Jack’s pocket

Covert Agenda: They’ve decided Abby should take over, while she’s in the bathroom washing the coffee off her clothes.

ACT 2:

Secret: Abby is trying to hide her phobia from the maids.

Intrigue: Maids are watching/spying on Abby.

Cover up: father didn’t want anyone to know the business is in trouble.

Covert Agenda: Boomer is trying to get close to Abby so he can get info from her on business.

Cover Up: Jack doesn’t admit that it’s Boomer’s apartment.

Cover Up/Hidden Identity: Jack’s hiding that he’s a hoarder (room in warehouse)

Conspiracy: Boomer is paying maids to have the maid flu

ACT 3:

Scheme: The maids are pretending to have the maid flu, are really playing poker.

Super Position: Audience knows Boomer is “up to no good” when Jack suggests having him look at the books.

Covert Agenda: Boomer happy to look at the books. Uses the info to make the company look bad, people quit.

ACT 4:

Hidden Identity: Boomer is really Randall who has been sending the caustic business letters.

Cover Up: Boomer blames it on his father.

Secret: Jack has created a modular system for Abby.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s EMOTIONAL MOMENTS!

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment: you need strong emotional moments so that both the character’s journey AND the viewer’s journey are satisfying.

Act 1:

Wound: Abby is suffering from a fear of germs and it’s affecting every area of her life. She even has to put booties of her dog. She’s afraid of going out in front of audiences/TV so she’s put off her dreams.

Distress: Abby’s Dad has had a heart attack and Abby has an anxiety attack as she rushes to his bedside.

Moral Issue/Sacrifice: Abby must give up her dreams (at least temporarily) to take over the family business.

Act 2:

Hidden Weakness: Abby gets into an argument with the maids, they just laugh at her, she feels completely inadequate to spur them to action.

Distress: Abby does the books and realizes the business is in trouble.

Surprise: through a flashback we see what happened to cause Abby’s phobia and deep wound.

Bonding/Love: Jack and Abby are thrown together and feel a mutual attraction. Jack helps her dad feign sleeping to avoid Abby. Jack takes Abby to his workplace. Moving furniture for kids.

Surprise: Abby is cleaning a home and realizes it’s Jack’s place! He’s a border line hoarder.

Betrayal: Boomer is paying the maids to call out sick so Abby’s business fails.

Act 3:

Win/Courage: When Abby has no help, she dons the gear and cleans the places herself.

Bonding/Love: Jack and Abby’s relationship grows. Jack admits his wound and that he’s in therapy.

Moral Issue: Boomer gets the books. He has to steal the business from Abby, but he hates having to hurt his friends to make his father happy.

Act 4:

Betrayal: Abby and Jack find out that Boomer is behind the takeover. Abby blames Jack for bringing Boomer into the fold.

Excitement: fist fight between Jack and Boomer.

Distress: Abby has to handle big job by herself.

Wound: Abby goes to maids, apologizing.

Winning/Success: The Event goes off great. Abby’s business gets a HUGE contract. The maids are given raises and respect.

Love: Jack shows up in a Tux to help, they kiss.

Winning/Success: Abby’s dream is moved forward. She’s fighting against her fears and WINNING.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Reveals!

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment: Set Ups and Reveals prove that you are outlining your story correctly and logically.

ACT I

Set Up: Abby is booties, gloves

Reveal: Abby has a serious problem with germs

Set Up: Camera crew

Reveal: Her fear is destroying her dream

Set Up: Jack spills coffee / Relish Packs

Reveal: Jack is a slob (later find out he’s a hoarder/Relish Drawer)

Set Up: Father’s Heart attack

Reveal: Everyone depends on Abby; she must take over business

ACT II

Set Up: Abby needing to control maids

Reveal: Maids don’t respect her; Rosa believes should was due the job

Set Up: Abby working on the business

Reveal: The business is in serious financial trouble

Set Up: Boomer tries to get close to Abby

Reveal: Boomer’s trying to take over the business

Set Up: Jack shows Abby his warehouse

Reveal: Jack’s got an area that’s hidden

Reveal: Modular components

Set Up: Baseball hits Abby

Reveal: What caused Abby’s fear / Flashback

ACT III

Set Up: Maid Flu

Reveal: Boomer is paying off the maids

Set Up: Abby does an incredible job

Reveal: Gets a big job at a stately mansion

ACT IV

Set Up: Jack brings Boomer in to look at the books

Reveal: Boomer is trying to take over the business for his father’s law firm

Set Up: Abby realizes that Randall is Boomer

Reveal: Boomer taking over business / Breaks up with Jack

Set Up: Abby apologizes

Reveal: Maids show up and help her finish the job

Set Up: Major Event goes off well

Reveal: Abby gets her the business a huge contract

Set Up: Jack shows up in a Tux

Reveal: They get back together/kiss

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Character Action Tracks

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment: Focusing on elevating the action for each character helps to make each character more interesting and unique. It also spurs creativity!

Ext. Nashville Skyline, Visions of Nashville from the Grand Ol Opry and Ryman, Gaylord Hotel to the Courthouse.

Opening: ABBY walking dog. She’s in booties, so is the dog. Cleans up after dog, takes it to garbage can, drops it and takes off her gloves, she’s got two sets of gloves on.

Int. Home: Takes off dog’s booties and drops them in receptacle. Takes off her own garb and does the same.

Abby Action: scrubs her hands and wipes the dog with medical grade wipes.

Abby is cleaning and reorganizing her closets, kitchen, pantry, etc. She’s upset by her pantry.

Abby is in front of a camera shooting videos. There are 3 PEOPLE for the cameras, lights, sound, etc. Abby’s friend and producer/director, BONNIE calls a wrap. They’ve batched several videos. The CREW is in booties and gloves, masks. Abby thanks them by name as they leave. Bonnie reminds Abby that people are wanting to interview her. Does she have a book?

Life is Messy, Clean It Up. You can’t organize your life happy? Watch Me.

Inciting Incident: Phone call from her brother. Father had a heart attack.

Abby Action: freaking out, has an anxiety attack. Loves her dad and it’s something she can’t control. Bonnie helps her through it.

Rushing to the hospital

JACK comes around the corner of the elevator carrying several coffees. JACK ACTION: He’s trying to balance the coffees, not doing the best job of it.

Elevator door opens and Abby crashes into him, coffee everywhere and all over each other. There’s a spark of recognition, but not sure.

ABBY ACTION: Abby sputters, she doesn’t know if she should be angry, apologetic or what. She’s shaking all over, has coffee on her, not nothing as bad as Jack.

JACK ACTION: YELPS from the hot coffee. He helps Abby up, she brushes him off/back. He looks at himself and laughs. She thinks he’s crazy.

Abby enters hospital room to find her DAD in bed, her brother, DAN and her MOTHER standing by the bed. She hugs them and hugs her dad, who doesn’t look that bad considering. They run down what happened. He was at the ballfield coaching the kids.

Dr comes in, tells them his condition, he’ll be laid up several weeks.

ABBY ACTION: The entire time after hugging her parents and while listening to the Dr she’s trying to wipe the coffee off her clothes with a wet washcloth (pulled the cloth from her purse, uses the water from her dad’s pitcher to wet it).

Abby goes to the bathroom to get cleaned up.

Jack comes into the room with fresh coffees. Dan and mother thank him. Dan makes a comment that he looks like S_ _ _ and Jack says he had an accident. (so we know he doesn’t know Abby).

ACTION JACK: his shirt is so wet he can wring it out (while wearing it) and coffee falls to the floor. He shrugs over it.

Jack mentions Boomer is watching kids and Dan and the Dad make a crack about that. Nurse comes in and says too many people there. Jack leaves.

Abby comes out of the bathroom, looking a little worse for wear. She takes a coffee, not knowing where it came from. She’s guilted into taking over the business while her Dad is laid up.

ABBY ACTION: during the guilting, she paces around the room, trying to explain the reasons she can’t do what her Dad is asking her to do.

ACT TWO:

Abby arrives at Business… it’s a mess. The Office is a mess, papers everywhere. The Maids (MEET ROSA) are in the breakroom, drinking coffee. Has dog with her.

ABBY ACTION: she’s almost afraid to walk into the place… she puts her booties on.

There’s a butting of heads immediately between Abby and Rosa. Abby thinks the maids should be working, if not on a job, what about cleaning the office? The Maids laugh at her.

Abby attempts to clean things up, first in the office. Trying to deal with germs. She’s literally in a hazmat suit, as is the dog.

Maids are stunned, not sure what to make of her…. They are spying on her, not directly in front of her as Abby is ABBY ACTION: trying to hide her fear from the maids.

Abby goes through paperwork; she picks it up with gloves on. She attempts looking into the accounts that are written down in her notebook.

ABBY ACTION: gingerly touching the computer keys, even with gloves on,

Goes to hospital with File… to confront father. He feigns being asleep. Runs into Jack, again. Jack’s helping her father get away with this (pretending to be asleep).

ABBY ACTION: almost stammering, realizing immediately he’s the coffee guy. Makes a crack about coffee.

JACK ACTION: Puts finger to his lips to shush her, her dad is sleeping. He pretends to fluff his pillow.

She tries to push the maids to do more work in less time. Maids feel she’s spying/checking up on them.

ABBY ACTION: CREATES AN EFFICIENCY POWER POINT SYSTEM AND SHOWS THE MAIDS. MAIDS BALK.

Abby goes to speak with her brother, who is at the ballfield. She’s surprised to see Jack there. She learns that Jack’s taken her dad’s place coaching, until he’s better. Jack’s friends since childhood. Her brother and Boomer, their friend, are helping. *Why does Dan have time to coach but not help with the business?

JACK ACTION: Teaching one of the kids how to hit a ball.

Boomer realizes who Abby is and wants to get closer.

BOOMER ACTION: comes over to Abby, offering her a sandwich (she declines), he doesn’t leave her side, asks her a bunch of questions, talks about how he’s close to her dad.

Flashback: How Abby became a germaphobe. Jack was there as well and helped her, like a Knight in shining armor.

Jack has to move a couch, for the kid’s clubhouse? Boomer can’t make it so hands Jack his keys, but Abby doesn’t see this. Goes to Boomer’s place, swanky apartment, she thinks it’s Jack’s place. He doesn’t correct her. She helps him carry the couch out and into his truck.

JACK ACTION: He starts to say that it’s not his place and stops himself, he’s embarrassed. He just says “thanks.”

ABBY ACTION: She’s looking around the place, marveling. While jack is looking the other way she checks for dust on a bookshelf or mantle, clean as a whistle.

Jack’s Business… They move the couch into a back office at Jack’s business… he’s setting it up for the kids.

Jack shows her around his business, modular systems he’s creating. She mentions the Pantry idea.

Abby attempts to do some cleaning herself to see what the maids are up against. She goes to clean Jack’s real home (not knowing it’s his home. … AND SHE FINDS OUT IT’S JACK’S PLACE!

ABBY ACTION: Cleaning in a Hazmat suit. She can’t get into an area to clean, it bothers her. She hears a phone ringing in the office, turns off vacuum. Voice message being left for Jack? She tries to decide if she should look, finally does go through drawers, envelope with Jack’s name on it. Also a drawer full of…. Fast food packets / mustard ketchup (should be in kitchen). She sees a key… should she? She tries it on the pocket doors… opens to see it’s stuffed with crap. She has a panic attack. She looks at everything, then closes it up and puts key back.

PUSHES MAIDS. Is rude to them… One asks her what’s wrong, she’s too unhinged.

Phone call from Jack. She doesn’t take it. She’s avoiding him.

Midpoint: The maids have had enough and issue a sick out/strike, no one is cleaning. The business gets a Notice of Action for failure to pay bills.

Boomer is paying off the maids to stay home.

Boomer Action: Sitting in his (expensive car) in the parking lot at the ballfield. He’s on his cellphone with Jack, saying he’s ‘he’s got this, not to worry, he can handle coaching the kids by himself, you deal with your business deadline.’ Then Rosa pops into the car. He asks if anyone saw her. No. He hands her a large envelope of money. She says, ‘you’re paying me NOT to clean!?’ He says “I’m paying all of you DOUBLE to extend your little vacation… I mean Maid Flu.” For How long? As long as it takes. As long as what takes? What do you care? Are you being appreciated? Well, Frank (father) was good to us… And I’ll be better… look, there’s no guarantee Frank will ever be back…. You want to work for her? NO! Alright then.

One of the kids comes up to Boomer’s car, scaring him. The kid is early. Boomer’s not happy with being seen with Rosa.

Tries to find a way out of the debt.

Act 3:

Abby attempts cleaning everything by herself.

ABBY ACTION: MAKE THIS FUNNY. ABBY IS EXHAUSTED AND DISGUSTED BY WHAT SHE SEES IN OTHER PEOPLE’S PLACES.

Rosa and maids are spying on her.

Abby tries to hire more maids.

Abby Action: Pacing, a nervous wreck, on phone with agencies.

Abby goes to Rosa’s house. They are pretending to be sick but are actually playing poker and watching soaps.

ABBY ACTION: She goes around the house, peeking through the windows. She sees a neighbor come out and hides, maybe sees one of the other maids come out of her house.

Abby thinks about selling the business. She can’t keep cleaning by herself. Most of new maids fail (by design).

Ballpark: the team is practicing. They are eating hotdogs, Abby and Jack have a heart to heart. Jack admits to being in therapy? He says he can get a friend to look at books.

Jack Action: He gets mustard and relish all over himself. Maybe he catches a flyball but in doing so he gets the drinks and food over them.

Abby Action: She’s trying not to freak out. He calms her down. She stands up, hands shaking, admits to knowing about his “room.” Jack’s upset at first, but also relieved the secret is out.

Jack play’s Knight again and brings on his friend, Boomer, to look over the contracts and the accounting books and hopefully find a way out. Boomer says it’s over, best to sell as quick as possible.

Boomer is there and looking over the books.

Boomer Action: Pretends he’s going to help them both, he’s overly nice.

Boomer plans to destroy her business. But he’s also feeling bad about it.

She gets a big job to prepare for an important formal event. (HOW DOES THIS COME ABOUT?)

New maids have quit. Bills are due, the lights are literally going out; clients are cancelling left and right.

Deeper Layer: Abby can’t do this anymore, she’s falling apart. Jack offers to help.

Abby Action: Abby’s stress makes her symptoms worse.

Act 4:

Abby and Jack find out Boomer is behind the takeover. (HOW?) Maybe the kid who saw Boomer and Rosa says something (without knowing he’s alerting them).

Abby blames Jack for exposing their company info to Boomer and accuses Jack of being in on it. She breaks up with him.

Jack is devastated. He goes after Boomer.

Boomer deflects, lies and then says it’s all his father’s idea.

Jack Action: He punches Boomer in the face. But Boomer returns the punch, it’s an all out fight… right in front of the kids.

Lifelong friendships are on the line.

Abby has to pull off the big event by herself. She goes to the maids one last time, spills her heart and apologizes.

Resolution: Maids feel sorry for her and help her nail the big event.

Jack shows up at the event, IN A TUX… he can be cleaned up and neat even though he’s got a black eye.

The people the event is for are so impressed they give Abby a huge cleaning contract that will 10X the size of the business. Her Dad is well enough to come back.

Abby puts Rosa in charge to help her Dad.

Boomer is fired by his dad for not making the deal happen.

Boomer Action: Boomer freaks out, he has a fit, throwing things. Maybe he takes a bat to his dad’s car… only to find out that he was actually destroying his own car.

Boomer comes clean and apologizes to everyone.

Jack shows Abby his plans for her business. The Modular Pantry System.

Abby goes on her book tour, in front of TV audiences.

Father is coaching the kids and the family is in the bleachers watching the game, eating hotdogs, rooting for the kids.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s New Outline Beats

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment: Using multiple processes helps figure out the beat, whether going in sequential order from start to finish or knowing of events that have to happen and backing out from there to make it logical.

Ext. Nashville Skyline, Visions of Nashville from the Grand Ol Opry and Ryman, Gaylord Hotel to the Courthouse.

Opening: ABBY walking dog. She’s in booties, so is the dog. Cleans up after dog, takes it to garbage can, drops it and takes off her gloves, she’s got two sets of gloves on.

Int. Home: Takes off dog’s booties and drops them in receptacle. Takes off her own garb and does the same.

Abby is cleaning and reorganizing her closets, kitchen, pantry, etc. She’s upset by her pantry.

Abby is in front of a camera shooting videos. There are 3 PEOPLE many camera, light, sound, etc. Abby’s friend and producer/director, BONNIE calls a wrap. They’ve batched several videos. The CREW is in booties and gloves, masks. Abby thanks them by name as they leave. Bonnie reminds Abby that people are wanting to interview her. Does she have a book?

Life is Messy, Clean It Up. You can’t organize your life happy? Watch Me.

Inciting Incident: Phone call from her brother. Father had a heart attack.

Rushing to the hospital

JACK comes around the corner of the elevator carrying several coffees.

Elevator door opens and Abby crashes into him, coffee everywhere and all over each other. There’s a spark of recognition, but not sure.

Abby enters hospital room to find her DAD in bed, her brother, DAN and her MOTHER standing by the bed. She hugs them and hugs her dad, who doesn’t look that bad considering. They run down what happened. He was at the ballfield coaching the kids.

Dr comes in, tells them his condition, he’ll be laid up several weeks.

Abby goes to the bathroom to get cleaned up.

Jack comes into the room with fresh coffees. Dan and mother thank him. Dan mkes a comment that he looks like S_ _ _ and Jack says someone crashed into him. (so we know he doesn’t know Abby). Jack mentions Boomer is watching kids and Dan and the Dad make a crack about that. Nurse comes in and says too many people there. Jack leaves.

Abby comes out of the bathroom, looking a little worse for wear. She takes a coffee, not knowing where it came from. She’s guilted into taking over the business while her Dad is laid up.

ACT TWO:

Abby arrives at Business… it’s a mess. The Office is a mess, papers everywhere. The Maids (MEET ROSA) are in the breakroom, drinking coffee. Has dog with her.

There’s a butting of heads immediately between Abby and Rosa. Abby thinks the maids should be working, if not on a job, what about cleaning the office. The Maids laugh at her.

Abby attempts to clean things up, first in the office. Trying to deal with germs. She’s literally in a hazmat suit, as is the dog.

Maids are laughing at her.

Abby goes through paperwork; she picks it up with gloves on. She attempts looking into the accounts that are written down in her notebook.

Goes to hospital with File… to confront father. He feigns being asleep. Runs into Jack, again. Jack’s helping her father get away with this (pretending to be asleep).

She tries to push the maids to do more work in less time. Maids feel she’s spying/checking up on them.

Abby goes to speak with her brother, who is at the ballfield. She’s surprised to see Jack there. She learns that Jack’s taken her dad’s place coaching, until he’s better. Jack’s friends since childhood. Her brother and Boomer, their friend, are helping. *Why does Dan have time to coach but not help with the business?

Boomer realizes who Abby is and wants to get closer.

Flashback: How Abby became a germaphobe. Jack was there as well and helped her, like a Knight in shining armor.

Jack has to move a couch, for the kid’s clubhouse? Boomer can’t make it so hands Jack his keys, but Abby doesn’t see this. Goes to Boomer’s place, swanky apartment, she thinks it’s Jack’s place. He doesn’t correct her. She helps him carry the couch out and into his truck.

Jack’s Business… They move the couch into a back office at Jack’s business… he’s setting it up for the kids.

Jack shows her around his business, modular systems he’s creating. She mentions the Pantry idea.

Abby attempts to do some cleaning herself to see what the maids are up against. She goes to clean Jack’s real home (not knowing it’s his home. … (does she find out here or later?)

Tries to find a way out of the debt. PUSHES MAIDS.

Midpoint: The maids have had enough and issue a sick out/strike, no one is cleaning. The business gets a Notice of Action for failure to pay bills.

Boomer is paying off the maids to stay home.

Act 3:

Abby attempts cleaning everything by herself. Rosa and maids are spying on her.

Abby tries to hire more maids.

Abby goes to Rosa’s house. They are pretending to be sick but are actually playing poker or watching soaps.

Abby thinks about selling the business. She can’t keep cleaning by herself. Most of new maids fail (by design).

Ballpark: eating hotdogs, Abby and Jack have a heart to heart. Jack admits to being in therapy? He says he can get a friend to look at books.

Jack play’s Knight again and brings on his friend, Boomer, to look over the contracts and the accounting books and hopefully find a way out. Boomer says it’s over, best to sell as quick as possible.

Boomer is there and looking over the books.

Boomer plans to destroy her business. But he’s also feeling bad about it.

She gets a big job to prepare for an important formal event.

New maids have quit. Bills are due, the lights are literally going out; clients are cancelling left and right.

Deeper Layer: Abby can’t do this anymore, she’s falling apart. Jack offers to help.

Abby’s stress makes her symptoms worse.

Act 4:

Abby and Jack find out Boomer is behind the takeover.

Abby blames Jack for exposing their company info to Boomer and accuses Jack of being in on it. She breaks up with him.

Jack is devastated. He goes after Boomer.

Boomer deflects, lies and then says it’s all his father’s idea.

Lifelong friendships are on the line.

Abby has to pull off the big event by herself. She goes to the maids one last time and apologizes.

Resolution: Maids feel sorry for her and help her nail the big event.

Jack shows up at the event, IN A TUX… he can be cleaned up and neat!

The people the event is for are so impressed they give Abby a huge cleaning contract that will 10X the size of the business. Her Dad is well enough to come back.

Abby puts Rosa in charge to help her Dad.

Boomer is fired by his dad for not making the deal happen.

Boomer comes clean and apologizes.

Jack shows Abby his plans for her business. The Modular Pantry System.

Abby goes on her book tour, in front of TV audiences.

Father is coaching the kids and the family is in the bleachers watching the game, eating hotdogs, rooting for the kids.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Beat Sheet 1^st Draft

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment: Pulling it all together we’re seeing the layers unfold for a promising story.

Act 1:

Opening: PJ: Abby is walking her dog down the street, both are in disposable booties, she is also in gloves and a mask.

Does an on-camera event from home, teaching viewers about organization. It’s from her home, there’s a studio set up in her home.

Deeper Layer: Abby is terrified of germs that why she has a home studio she can completely control.

Inciting Incident: Her father has a heart attack. She goes to the hospital and is told she is the only one who can take on the family business (cleaning) while the father recuperates.

Meets Jack at the Hospital elevator, not knowing he’s just visited her father.

AJ: Jack is in the elevator, exiting as the door opens (he’s just leaving visiting her Dad). Abby crashes into him, spilling the coffee he’s holding all over him. She’s apologetic, he doesn’t mind. There’s a spark.

Deeper Layer: Jack is a slob, so getting messy doesn’t bother him.

PJ: Turning Point: Goes to cleaning business, meets maids who are not welcoming, realizes that the business is in serious financial trouble, and someone is trying to take them over.

PJ / AJ: Abby physically runs into Jack again, this time he’s coming out of her Dad’s hospital room. Another mess. She asks if he knows her Dad. Jack just says they are friends. Jack’s phone rings and he has to leave, late for an appt. But this is where they recognize each other.

Abby goes to confront her Dad about the financial issues, but he feigns more heart trouble and she shuts up.

Deeper Layer: The business has been in trouble for quite some time, her Dad has been hiding the truth from her and everyone in the family.

Act 2:

PJ: New plan: Abby attempts to clean things up, first in the office. Trying to deal with germs. She tries to push the maids to do more work in less time. Runs into Jack again, and again.

PJ & AJ: Abby goes to speak with her brother, who is at the ballfield. She’s shocked to see Jack there. That they’ve been friends since childhood. She learns that Jack’s taken her dad’s place coaching, until he’s better. Her brother and Boomer, their friend, are helping.

AJ: Boomer realizes who Abby is and wants to get closer.

Deeper Layer: Boomer has been tasked with taking over the business for his father.

The past comes into play. How Abby became a germaphobe. Jack was actually there as well and helped her, like a Knight in shining armor.

PJ: Plan in action: Abby attempts to do some cleaning herself to see what the maids are up against. She goes to clean Jack’s home (not knowing it’s his home… until she does and is shocked). Tries to find a way out of the debt.

AJ: Jack tries to help her confront her fear. She’s trying to deal with him being a slob. She is back and forth on whether she can be with him.

Deeper Layer: Both need to make a change and they know it. Can they deal with the other person?

AJ: Midpoint Turning Point: The maids have had enough and issue a sick out/strike, no one is cleaning. The business gets a Notice of Action for failure to pay bills.

Deeper Layer: Boomer is paying off the maids to stay home.

Act 3:

PJ: Rethink everything: Abby thinks about selling the business. She can’t keep cleaning by herself. Tries to hire new people. Most are a big failure.

AJ: Jack doesn’t think he’s got a problem but is willing to try to do better for her.

Deeper Layer: he is in therapy.

AJ: New plan: Jack play’s Knight again and brings on his friend, Boomer, to look over the contracts and the accounting books and hopefully find a way out. Boomer says it’s over, best to sell as quick as possible.

AJ: Boomer is there and looking over the books.

Deeper Layer: Boomer plans to destroy her business. But he’s also feeling bad about it.

PJ: She gets a big job to prepare for an important formal event.

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: new maids have quit. Bills are due, the lights are literally going out; clients are cancelling left and right.

Deeper Layer: Abby can’t do this anymore, she’s falling apart.

Abby’s stress makes her symptoms worse.

Act 4:

PJ/AJ: Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Abby and Jack find out Boomer is behind the takeover.

PJ: Abby blames Jack for exposing their company info to Boomer and accuses Jack of being in on it. She breaks up with him.

AJ: Jack is devastated. He goes after Boomer.

AJ: Boomer deflects, lies and then says it’s all his father’s idea.

Deeper Layer: Lifelong friendships are on the line.

PJ: Abby has to pull off the big event by herself. She goes to the maids one last time and apologizes.

Resolution: Maids feel sorry for her and help her nail the big event.

AJ: Jack shows up at the event, IN A TUX… he can be cleaned up and neat!

PJ: Abby is given a huge cleaning contract that will 10X the size of the business. Her Dad is well enough to come back. Abby puts the lead maid (who was her nemesis) in charge.

Boomer is fired by his dad for not making the deal happen.

Deeper Layer: Boomer comes clean and apologizes.

Jack shows Abby his plans for her business.

Abby goes on her book tour, in front of TV audiences.

EDIT! Abby suspects Jack was involved out of a misunderstanding. Either Boomer lies, she reads something, she overhears something.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Deeper Layer

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment: It’s what’s underneath the surface that makes the story intriguing.

Surface Layer: Abby has to put aside her dreams and help her family business.

Deeper Layer: Abby has to deal with being terrified of germs.

Major Reveal: Jack is a major slob, borderline hoarder

Influences Surface Story: The business is on the verge of financial ruin. Maids call out sick.

Hints: Boomer is always trying to get involved, to “help.”

Changes Reality: Abby and Jack are together in more ways than one and both dealing with their issues.

Beginning:
Is giving a live lesson on storage; Show Germaphobia while walking dog
Inciting
Incident: She rushes to hospital; her father has a heart attack. Meets Jack
at hospital.
Turning
Point 1: Abby is guilted into taking over the cleaning business. Jack is
an old friend of the family.
Act
2: Abby meets maids; makes changes;
learns the company is in trouble.
Turning
Point 2 / Midpoint: Maids rebel and pretend to be sick, leaving Abby to
try to do all the work herself. Spends time with Jack but he’s hiding
something.
Act
3: Company is in serious trouble. Abby looks for ways to fix things or might
need to sell. Jack tries to help. Brings in Boomer.
Turning
Point 3: Abby finds out Jack is a hoarder. The business is going under.
Act
4 Climax: Abby gets one last shot with a major client. Realizes Boomer is
trying to steal the company.
Resolution:
Abby saves the company and helps it expand. Abby and Jack start a new
venture, both personally and professionally.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s CHARACTER JOURNEY STRUCTURE

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment: It’s important to map out the individual character’s outline to make sure it matches with the overall high concept

ABBY: PROTAGONIST

Beginning:
Is giving a live lesson on storage; Show Germaphobia while walking dog
Inciting
Incident: She rushes to hospital; her father has a heart attack. Meets Jack
at hospital.
Turning
Point 1: Abby is guilted into taking over the cleaning business. Jack is
an old friend of the family.
Act
2: Abby meets maids; makes changes;
learns the company is in trouble.
Turning
Point 2 / Midpoint: Maids rebel and pretend to be sick, leaving Abby to
try to do all the work herself. Spends time with Jack but he’s hiding
something.
Act
3: Company is in serious trouble. Abby looks for ways to fix things or might
need to sell. Jack tries to help. Brings in Boomer.
Turning
Point 3: Abby finds out Jack is a hoarder. The business is going under.
Act
4 Climax: Abby gets one last shot with a major client. Realizes Boomer is
trying to steal the company.
Resolution:
Abby saves the company and helps it expand. Abby and Jack start a new
venture, both personally and professionally.

JACK: PRO/ANTAGONIST/LOVE INTEREST

Beginning: Before movie starts: Jack is working, in
therapy
Inciting
Incident: Abby’s father has a heart attack; he visits him in hospital
Turning
Point 1: Meets Abby at hospital
Act
2: Pursues Abby but is afraid she’ll find out his secret.
Turning
Point 2 / Midpoint: His own business is needing him. Offers to help Abby.
Act
3: Brings in Boomer and gives him financials.
Turning
Point 3: Abby finds out his problem.
Act
4 Climax: Tries to fix his problem so he doesn’t lose her.
Resolution:
In therapy. Cleans his place out. They get together. New business idea.

BOOMER: ANTAGONIST / TRIANGLE

Beginning:
Before movie starts. Boomer loses a big deal and his Dad (his boss) is
pissed. He needs to do something to show his father he can handle the
work.
Inciting
Incident: Abby’s father has a heart attack. They realize the company is
ripe for a takeover.
Turning
Point 1: Boomer ingratiates himself with helping with Little League.
Moving.
Act
2: Boomer shows up as much as he can to spy on Abby and the business.
Offers maids money to stay home
Turning
Point 2 / Midpoint: Boomer offers maids money to stay home.
Act
3: Boomer offers to help with the books.
Turning
Point 3: Boomer has his Dad go to close down Abby’s business.
Act
4 Climax: Boomer is found out and tries to say it’s all fair in love and
war.
Resolution:
Boomer gets fired and his Dad is kicked out of company for unethical
business practices. Boomer apologizes.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Supporting Characters

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment:

Mapping out the role and purpose of the Supporting Characters helps to solidify the way they will play out in the story and support the leading character’s journey (for good or bad). It also helps you look at whether or not a character is truly necessary.

2. Tell us your supporting and background characters.

Supporting Characters:

Rosa/Aracelli

Father, Mother & Brother

Major Client & her husband

Therapist/Aunt

Background Characters: Maids, Little League kids, clients

3. Focusing on those supporting characters, fill in the basic profile for each.

Support 1:

Name: Rosa/Aracelli

Role: Lead maid who hates that Abby has been brought in to take over the business

Main purpose: Force Abby to take over her job

Value: Show Abby another side of life; force Abby out of her comfort zone

Support 2:

Name: Father

Role: Abby’s father

Main purpose: To guilt/force Abby into taking over the business while he recuperates.

Value: To help Abby get out of her bubble and take on life, germs and all.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Character Profiles PT 2

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment:

Creating profiles is monumentally important so that as you write the script you can be true to the characters, knowing how they will act and respond in each situation.

A. The High Concept. Abby is a germophobic Martha Stewart wannabe who must take over her father’s cleaning business and meets the love of her life, the world’s worst slob.

ABBY

B. This character’s journey:

Internal Journey: from paralyzed with fear to confident and strong

External Journey: from hiding out from her publisher to meeting people, saving her family’s business, and going on a book tour (this may change)

C. The Actor Attractors for this character:

Lead Character Name: Abby

Role: Protagonist

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?

She’s a complicated character who is strong yet vulnerable. She’s dealing with a terrible phobia. She has a strong sense of right and wrong but will do whatever is necessary to save her father’s business.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?

She’s a germaphobe. She’s learned to control her environment and that all pops when her dad has a heart attack. Now she must face her biggest fears on many levels.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?

Designing online, a studio set up in her apartment. Cleaning the office, and then homes, wearing hazmat suits, doing funny things to clean without getting germs on her. Trying to eat messy food without getting it on her. Getting back on a horse and riding (she fell as a kid). Playing poker with the maids.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?

A strong willed, goal oriented germaphobe who will do anything to save her father’s business, including facing her deepest fears.

5. What could be this character’s emotional range

From a terrified germaphobe to a conqueror; emotionally vulnerable to strong willed and stubborn. Caring and loving to angry and guarded.

6. What subtext can the actor play?

She is constantly hiding her fear of germs, doing everything she can to appear normal and not have people see this vulnerability. She’d rather have people think she’s a flake or demanding then know that it’s because she’s afraid.

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?

With Aracelli, the head maid. The two butt heads, each feeling they are in charge. Aracelli calls for the maids to strike (call out sick) leaving Abby to clean everything by herself. With Jack, she has a push/pull, attraction/repulsion relationship… he’s trying to help her and she feels he’s trying to “fix” her… but at the same time, she wants to fix his sloppiness.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?

Through the irony of having a fear of germs and being forced to take over her father’s cleaning business.

9. What could make this character special and unique?

Her determination to overcome her fear to save her father’s business as well as having a relationship with the love of her life, despite him being a complete slob.

3. Brainstorm the first 6 parts of the profile for each of your lead characters.

Role in the Story: Protagonist: Abby is the center of the story. She’s the one who must take over her father’s cleaning business even though she’s terrified of germs. In the end she defeats her fear and saves the business.

Age range and Description: Abby is in her late 30’s, blond, petite, she has a Reese Witherspoon vibe, she’s not the calm type, always seems to be on the edge.

Core Traits:

Fearful

Determined

Honest

Compassionate

Motivation; Want/Need:

Wants to stay safe in her bubble

Needs to save her father’s business

Wound:

She fell off a horse when she was young and into a literal pile of horse poop, which was covered with flies. She has been terrified of germs since then and was laughed at by many of the school kids.

Likability, Relatability, Empathy:

Likability: She does a live video and helps a Mom who’s upset because she’s lost control of her home (organizationally)… we see Abby’s genuine concern to help others.

Relatability: Abby falls in love. She puts her own career on hold while trying to save the family business for her Dad

Empathy: Abby has a deep scar from an event that happened as a child. That scar manifests as a fear of germs and her life is ruled by that fear.

3. Brainstorm these profile components for each character.

7. Character Subtext:

Character Name: Abby

Subtext Identity: An organizational expert with a fear of germs, who needs to control her environment.

Subtext Trait: Controlling, in denial, tries to hide her phobia

Subtext Logline: A germophobic organizational expert who needs to control her environment falls in love with a massive slob.

Possible Areas of Subtext: controls the maids but doesn’t tell them about her phobia, cleans homes in hazmat gear, tries not to freak out when her boyfriend gets food all over himself. Her reaction when she realizes Jack’s secret.

8. Character Intrigue:

Character Name: Abby

Role: Protagonist

Secrets: She tries to keep the extent of her fear to herself.

Unspoken Wound: She had a traumatic experience as a child that made her terrified of germs.

3) Give us an idea of how that character’s subtext might show up in your movie.

The need to clean the main office, scrub it down, but do it in secret so the maids don’t see how neurotic she is. She must control her environment… opening scene shows her walking her dog, she’s in disposable booties, gloves, etc…. the dog is also in booties!

9. Flaw:

Can’t look at fears; poor decision making.

10. Values:

Family; Duty; Loyalty; Honesty; Being Your Best

11. Character Dilemma:

Safety Vs Success; Pleasing Others (parents) Vs Being Independent

BOOMER: ANTAGONIST

B. This character’s journey:

Internal: From scheming to guilt-ridden

External: From helping friends to stealing from them

C. The Actor Attractors for this character.

Character Name: Boomer /
Randy / Randall Walker

Role: Antagonist

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?

He’s a man living a double life. One as Boomer, the childhood best friend of Abby’s brother and boyfriend and Second as the slimy attorney who is trying to steal the cleaning business away from Abby and her family. He’s sly and cunning while appearing to be helpful.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?

He’s living a double life. Sly and cunning, loud and boisterous. Appears to be one thing but is something else.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Antagonist could take in the script?

Playing baseball. Watching the Little League kids, he trips a kid on purpose and then helps him up as if the kid was clumsy. Starts a food fight and intentionally makes Jack look much worse, knowing that it will upset Abby.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?

A wise-cracking Attorney who pretends to want to help his “friends” but uses his relationships to further himself and his family financially.

5. What could be this character’s emotional range

From a wise-cracking jerk to a serious attorney, from feigning compassion to sliminess.

6. What subtext can the actor play?

This character lives a lie. While he does consider the characters his “friends”, he’d do anything to get ahead in his company (owned by his father) and get ahead financially.

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?

With Jack, pretending to want to help he and Abby but in reality, he knows he’s going to screw them over.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?

Through living a double life, one as the friend of people he’s known since childhood and the other as a ruthless lawyer bent on stealing Abby’s business.

9. What could make this character special and unique?

He is charismatic, bold, and funny, yet ruthless and conniving.

3. Brainstorm the first 6 parts of the profile for each of your lead characters.

Role in the Story: Antagonist. He is in a battle between pleasing his father and helping his friends. His mission is to destroy Abby’s family business.

Age range and Description: Late 30’s / Early 40’s. He’s tall and not especially good looking with dark hair and a pale complexion.

Core Traits:

Cunning

Manipulative

Fast talking

Bull-shitter

Motivation; Want/Need:

Wants to do well at work and move up, and be thought of as a good friend

Needs to please his father who is completely controlling of him

Wound:

He wasn’t good enough at sports and missed a baseball scholarship, which his father never let him live down. He tried to make up for it by being a ruthless attorney.

Likability, Relatability, Empathy:

Likability: Boomer helps move some of Jack’s stuff. He helps with the Little League team.

Relatability: His boss is upset with him because he’s just lost a case. We don’t know at this point that his boss is also his father.

Empathy: He’s stressed out at work. He rarely has free time. His girlfriend just broke up with him.

7. Character Subtext:

Subtext Identity: A ruthless attorney who is friends with Jack

Subtext Trait: Conniving, manipulative, scheming

Subtext Logline: A ruthless attorney schemes to steal a business from his friends

Possible Areas of Subtext: helps Jack move things to learn more about Abby’s business, helps with the Little League game to get closer to Abby, offers to look at their financials to see how he can “help”, tells his boss (his father) they are ripe for the picking, undermines Abby’s ability to hire more people and get more clients.

8. Character Intrigue:

Role: Antagonist

Hidden agendas: Boomer wants to steal Abby’s business for his Dad, so that he can rise up in the company.

Secrets: Boomer never tells Abby or Jack that he’s working as an attorney for a competing company.

Deception: Boomer pretends to want to help Jack and Abby, but he’s doing everything for himself.

3. Give us an idea of how that character’s subtext might show up in your movie.

Boomer convinces Jack and Abby to give him the financials so see if he can “help” but he’s really only looking for the company weaknesses.

9. Flaw:

Overconfident; says the wrong things (he can be really irritating).

10. Values:

Family, Duty, Winning at any cost

11. Character Dilemma:

Please others vs Being Independent; Center of Attention Vs Being Quiet; Winner Vs Loser; Wants External Admiration over Loving/Respecting Himself.

JACK: TRIANGLE

Internal: From fearful of losing money/things to confident things will be okay

External: From slob to neater; from a borderline hoarder to cleaning his place out AND designing a system that will help Abby and make them both a lot of money.

C. The Actor Attractors for this character.

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?

He’s a man hiding the fact that he’s got a serious problem with holding onto things out of fear of losing everything. He’s also a major slob. This character has to face everything inside himself, his past, to hold onto the woman he loves.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?

He’s keeping a secret. He’s a great guy, honest and funny, a great friend, but his wound has kept him from having a serious relationship.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Triangle could take in the script?

Playing baseball. Teaching the Little League kids. Takes in a professional baseball game. Has a fist fight with Boomer. Creates an organizational system for Abby. Throws out all of his stuff he’s hoarded.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?

An affable, compassionate man who tries to be there for everyone else while covering up his own issues. Until now he’s kept most people at an arm’s length.

5. What could be this character’s emotional range

From calm and caring to angry and depressed, irrational and afraid of losing Abby and willing to do whatever he needs to keep her.

6. What subtext can the actor play?

This character is living with a secret. He hasn’t told any of his friends why his family abruptly moved away while he was in HS. He keeps a part of his home locked away because he doesn’t want anyone to mess with his stuff or to even know he’s hoarding things. He’s a slob but is also pretending it’s not bothering him.

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?

With Abby, who he falls in love with. With Boomer, who he wants to trust but is screwed over by. With Ben, Abby’s Dad…. Who was his coach as a kid and whom he still thinks of as a second father.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?

A caring, smart, creative man who feels he needs to keep a dark secret, he is freed at the end and wins the girl.

9. What could make this character special and unique?

We haven’t seen a Hoarder line hoarder as a leading character, especially falling for someone who is a germaphobe.

3. Brainstorm the first 6 parts of the profile for each of your lead characters.

Role in the Story: TRIANGLE character. He’s the man Abby falls for, he also brings Boomer into the fold and Boomer steals the business info and gives it to his father so they can destroy her business.

Age range and Description: Early 40’s, he’s tall and good looking with a perpetual scruffy face, as if he’s missed shaving for a few days.

Core Traits:

Trustworthy

Caring

Can do attitude

Wants to be people’s hero

Motivation; Want/Need:

Jack wants to be with Abby. He needs to be successful so he can have security.

Wound:

His parents lost everything when he was in HS and they moved away suddenly, he left with just a backpack, losing all his possessions. This has him needing to hold onto things.

Likability, Relatability, Empathy:

Likability: Jack visits Abby’s Dad in the hospital. Jack teaches Little League kids. He’s always helping others.

Relatability: He’s fallen in love with Abby. He wants to be better for her.

Empathy: He owns a business and he’s always worried about the next job so that he and his people will have jobs. He must confront his past and realize that what happened in the past doesn’t have to affect him today.

3. Brainstorm these profile components for each character.

7. Character Subtext:

Subtext Identity: A friend of Abby’s brother and father who falls in love with Abby.

Subtext Trait: In denial, evasive, hiding his problem.

Subtext Logline: An affable boss falls for the sister of his friend and tries to hide his hoarding illness.

Possible Areas of Subtext: Doesn’t correct Abby’s assumption that Boomer’s apartment is his own. Keeps his “messy” area under lock and key. Tries to control how much anyone knows about him.

8. Character Intrigue:

Secrets: Jack is hiding his extreme slobbery, he borders on hoarding. He’s afraid people will find out, especially Abby.

Deception: He takes Abby someplace she thinks is his home, which is beautiful and clean, but it’s not where he lives.

Unspoken Wound: Jack’s parents lost everything when he was a kid, and he holds onto things that he doesn’t need.

3. Give us an idea of how that character’s subtext might show up in your movie.

Jack is hiding his problem from Abby, and his friends. He takes Abby to a place she thinks is his home, it’s beautiful and clean, but it’s not where he lives. Maybe it’s Boomer’s home? Maybe she assumes it’s his and he doesn’t correct her. He keeps clothes in his car to change and look presentable.

9. Flaw:

Undervalues themselves; can’t take risks out of fear of losing what he has.

10. Values:

Duty, Loyalty, Love, Honesty

11. Character Dilemma:

Being open and honest Vs keeping his secret… he’s afraid he will lose Abby if he’s honest

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Character Profiles PT 1

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment:

Creating profiles is monumentally important so that as you write the script you can be true to the characters, knowing how they will act and respond in each situation.

2. With each of your lead characters, first tell us the following:

A. The High Concept. Abby is a germaphobic Martha Stewart wannabe who must take over her father’s cleaning business and meets the love of her life, the world’s worst slob.

B. This character’s journey: (ABBY)

Internal Journey: from paralyzed with fear to confident and strong

External Journey: from hiding out from her publisher to meeting people, saving her family’s business, and going on a book tour (this may change)

C. The Actor Attractors for this character:

Lead Character Name: Abby

Role: Protagonist

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?

She’s a complicated character who is strong yet vulnerable. She’s dealing with a terrible phobia. She has a strong sense of right and wrong but will do whatever is necessary to save her father’s business.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?

She’s a germaphobe. She’s learned to control her environment and that all pops when her dad has a heart attack. Now she must face her biggest fears on many levels.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?

Designing online, a studio set up in her apartment. Cleaning the office, and then homes, wearing hazmat suits, doing funny things to clean without getting germs on her. Trying to eat messy food without getting it on her. Getting back on a horse and riding (she fell as a kid). Playing poker with the maids.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?

A strong willed, goal oriented germaphobe who will do anything to save her father’s business, including facing her deepest fears.

5. What could be this character’s emotional range

From a terrified germaphobe to a conqueror; emotionally vulnerable to strong willed and stubborn. Caring and loving to angry and guarded.

6. What subtext can the actor play?

She is constantly hiding her fear of germs, doing everything she can to appear normal and not have people see this vulnerability. She’d rather have people think she’s a flake or demanding then know that it’s because she’s afraid.

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?

With Aracelli, the head maid. The two butt heads, each feeling they are in charge. Aracelli calls for the maids to strike (call out sick) leaving Abby to clean everything by herself. With Jack, she has a push/pull, attraction/repulsion relationship… he’s trying to help her and she feels he’s trying to “fix” her… but at the same time, she wants to fix his sloppiness.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?

Through the irony of having a fear of germs and being forced to take over her father’s cleaning business.

9. What could make this character special and unique?

Her determination to overcome her fear to save her father’s business as well as having a relationship with the love of her life, despite him being a complete slob.

3. Brainstorm the first 6 parts of the profile for each of your lead characters.

Role in the Story: Protagonist: Abby is the center of the story. She’s the one who must take over her father’s cleaning business even though she’s terrified of germs. In the end she defeats her fear and saves the business.

Age range and Description: Abby is in her late 30’s, blond, petite, she has a Reese Witherspoon vibe, she’s not the calm type, always seems to be on the edge.

Core Traits:

Fearful

Determined

Honest

Compassionate

Motivation; Want/Need:

Wants to stay safe in her bubble

Needs to save her father’s business

Wound:

She fell off a horse when she was young and into a literal pile of horse poop, which was covered with flies. She has been terrified of germs since then and was laughed at by many of the school kids.

Likability, Relatability, Empathy:

Likability: She does a live video and helps a Mom who’s upset because she’s lost control of her home (organizationally)… we see Abby’s genuine concern to help others.

Relatability: Abby falls in love. She puts her own career on hold while trying to save the family business for her Dad

Empathy: Abby has a deep scar from an event that happened as a child. That scar manifests as a fear of germs and her life is ruled by that fear.

B. This character’s journey: BOOMER

Internal: From scheming to guilt-ridden

External: From helping friends to stealing from them

C. The Actor Attractors for this character.

Character Name: Boomer /
Randy / Randall Walker

Role: Antagonist

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?

He’s a man living a double life. One as Boomer, the childhood best friend of Abby’s brother and boyfriend and Second as the slimy attorney who is trying to steal the cleaning business away from Abby and her family. He’s sly and cunning while appearing to be helpful.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?

He’s living a double life. Sly and cunning, loud and boisterous. Appears to be one thing but is something else.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Antagonist could take in the script?

Playing baseball. Watching the Little League kids, he trips a kid on purpose and then helps him up as if the kid was clumsy. Starts a food fight and intentionally makes Jack look much worse, knowing that it will upset Abby.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?

A wise-cracking Attorney who pretends to want to help his “friends” but uses his relationships to further himself and his family financially.

5. What could be this character’s emotional range

From a wise-cracking jerk to a serious attorney, from feigning compassion to sliminess.

6. What subtext can the actor play?

This character lives a lie. While he does consider the characters his “friends”, he’d do anything to get ahead in his company (owned by his father) and get ahead financially.

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?

With Jack, pretending to want to help he and Abby but in reality, he knows he’s going to screw them over.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?

Through living a double life, one as the friend of people he’s known since childhood and the other as a ruthless lawyer bent on stealing Abby’s business.

9. What could make this character special and unique?

He is charismatic, bold, and funny, yet ruthless and conniving.

3. Brainstorm the first 6 parts of the profile for each of your lead characters.

Role in the Story: Antagonist. He is in a battle between pleasing his father and helping his friends. His mission is to destroy Abby’s family business.

Age range and Description: Late 30’s / Early 40’s. He’s tall and not especially good looking with dark hair and a pale complexion.

Core Traits:

Cunning

Manipulative

Fast talking

Bullshitter

Motivation; Want/Need:

Wants to do well at work and move up, and be thought of as a good friend

Needs to please his father who is completely controlling of him

Wound:

He wasn’t good enough at sports and missed a baseball scholarship, which his father never let him live down. He tried to make up for it by being a ruthless attorney.

Likability, Relatability, Empathy:

Likability: Boomer helps move some of Jack’s stuff. He helps with the Little League team.

Relatability: His boss is upset with him because he’s just lost a case. We don’t know at this point that his boss is also his father.

Empathy: He’s stressed out at work. He rarely has free time. His girlfriend just broke up with him.

B. This character’s journey. JACK (TRIANGLE)

Internal: From fearful of losing money/things to confident things will be okay

External: From slob to neater; from a borderline hoarder to cleaning his place out AND designing a system that will help Abby and make them both a lot of money.

C. The Actor Attractors for this character.

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?

He’s a man hiding the fact that he’s got a serious problem with holding onto things out of fear of losing everything. He’s also a major slob. This character has to face everything inside himself, his past, to hold onto the woman he loves.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?

He’s keeping a secret. He’s a great guy, honest and funny, a great friend, but his wound has kept him from having a serious relationship.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Triangle could take in the script?

Playing baseball. Teaching the Little League kids. Takes in a professional baseball game. Has a fist fight with Boomer. Creates an organizational system for Abby. Throws out all of his stuff he’s hoarded.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?

An affable, compassionate man who tries to be there for everyone else while covering up his own issues. Until now he’s kept most people at an arm’s length.

5. What could be this character’s emotional range

From calm and caring to angry and depressed, irrational and afraid of losing Abby and willing to do whatever he needs to keep her.

6. What subtext can the actor play?

This character is living with a secret. He hasn’t told any of his friends why his family abruptly moved away while he was in HS. He keeps a part of his home locked away because he doesn’t want anyone to mess with his stuff or to even know he’s hoarding things. He’s a slob but is also pretending it’s not bothering him.

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?

With Abby, who he falls in love with. With Boomer, who he wants to trust but is screwed over by. With Ben, Abby’s Dad…. Who was his coach as a kid and whom he still thinks of as a second father.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?

A caring, smart, creative man who feels he needs to keep a dark secret, he is freed at the end and wins the girl.

9. What could make this character special and unique?

We haven’t seen a boarder line hoarder as a leading character, especially falling for someone who is a germaphobe.

3. Brainstorm the first 6 parts of the profile for each of your lead characters.

Role in the Story: TRIANGLE character. He’s the man Abby falls for, he also brings Boomer into the fold and Boomer steals the business info and gives it to his father so they can destroy her business.

Age range and Description: Early 40’s, he’s tall and good looking with a perpetual scruffy face, as if he’s missed shaving for a few days.

Core Traits:

Trustworthy

Caring

Can do attitude

Wants to be people’s hero

Motivation; Want/Need:

Jack wants to be with Abby. He needs to be successful so he can have security.

Wound:

His parents lost everything when he was in HS and they moved away suddenly, he left with just a backpack, losing all his possessions. This has him needing to hold onto things.

Likability, Relatability, Empathy:

Likability: Jack visits Abby’s Dad in the hospital. Jack teaches Little League kids. He’s always helping others.

Relatability: He’s fallen in love with Abby. He wants to be better for her.

Empathy: He owns a business and he’s always worried about the next job so that he and his people will have jobs. He must confront his past and realize that what happened in the past doesn’t have to affect him today.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s: Likability/Relatability/Empathy

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment: This expands the character’s universe and how we can create more appealing, well-rounded characters that the audience will find engaging.

2. Brainstorm one or more ways you can present your Protagonist through each of these:

Likability: She does a live video and helps a Mom who’s upset because she’s lost control of her home (organizationally)… we see Abby’s genuine concern to help others.

Relatability: Abby falls in love. She puts her own career on hold while trying to save the family business for her Dad

Empathy: Abby has a deep scar from an event that happened as a child. That scar manifests as a fear of germs and her life is ruled by that fear.

3. Just to get the experience, give us one or more ways that your Antagonist could be presented through each of these:

Likability: Boomer helps move some of Jack’s stuff. He helps with the Little League team.

Relatability: His boss is upset with him because he’s just lost a case. We don’t know at this point that his boss is also his father.

Empathy: He’s stressed out at work. He rarely has free time. His girlfriend just broke up with him.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Character Intrigue

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment: Knowing what your actor can play off from the character is incredibly important in the writing… it expands the depth and gives an actor something exciting to portray and the audience more depth to the story.

As there are two main “good guys” in this movie and I’ve drastically increased the role of the antagonist (which originally was just her condition, not also a person) I’ve added a third here to push myself homework wise so that the script is better.

2) For each of your main characters, use this list to brainstorm one or more Intrigue items that might apply. You don’t need all of them; just one or two.

Character Name: Abby

Role: Protagonist

Secrets: She tries to keep the extent of her fear to herself.

Unspoken Wound: She had a traumatic experience as a child that made her terrified of germs.

3) Give us an idea of how that character’s subtext might show up in your movie.

The need to clean the main office, scrub it down, but do it in secret so the maids don’t see how neurotic she is. She must control her environment… opening scene shows her walking her dog, she’s in disposable booties, gloves, etc…. the dog is also in booties!

For each of your main characters, use this list to brainstorm one or more Intrigue items that might apply. You don’t need all of them; just one or two.

Character Name: Jack

Role: Abby’s boyfriend.

Secrets: Jack is hiding his extreme slobbery, he borders on hoarding. He’s afraid people will find out, especially Abby.

Deception: He takes Abby someplace she thinks is his home, which is beautiful and clean, but it’s not where he lives.

Unspoken Wound: Jack’s parents lost everything when he was a kid, and he holds onto things that he doesn’t need.

3. Give us an idea of how that character’s subtext might show up in your movie.

Jack is hiding his problem from Abby, and his friends. He takes Abby to a place she thinks is his home, it’s beautiful and clean, but it’s not where he lives. Maybe it’s Boomer’s home? Maybe she assumes it’s his and he doesn’t correct her. He keeps clothes in his car to change and look presentable.

For each of your main characters, use this list to brainstorm one or more Intrigue items that might apply. You don’t need all of them; just one or two.

Character Name: Boomer / Randy

Role: Antagonist

Hidden agendas: Boomer wants to steal Abby’s business for his Dad, so that he can rise up in the company.

Secrets: Boomer never tells Abby or Jack that he’s working as an attorney for a competing company.

Deception: Boomer pretends to want to help Jack and Abby, but he’s doing everything for himself.

3. Give us an idea of how that character’s subtext might show up in your movie.

Boomer convinces Jack and Abby to give him the financials so see if he can “help” but he’s really only looking for the company weaknesses.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Subtext Characters

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment: The absolute importance of subtext for all the main characters AND realizing that I need to work on subtext for Jack.

Movie Title: Sweet Home Alabama

Character Name: Melanie Smooter / Carmichael

Subtext Identity: A NY Fashion Designer pretending she’s from a wealthy family in the South.

Subtext Trait: Leading a double life; trying to erase her past and where she’s from.

Subtext Logline: She’s a NY Fashion Designer who pretends she’s from a wealthy family in the South, needs to get a divorce from her husband so she can marry a wealthy politically connected man.

Possible Areas of Subtext: Stating for a fashion Magazine that she’s a Carmichael and grew up at the Carmichael Plantation. Races down to Alabama to get her husband to sign divorce papers but tells her fiancé she just wants to tell her parents about them. Tries to avoid parents but winds up in jail and needs her father to bail her out. Drinks too much at a bar and states she’s better than everyone who still lives there. Outs a great friend of hers to take the attention off herself. Pretends to have grown up at the plantation and is forced to show a pretend reporter around the home with the friend she outed, who actually grew up there. Embraces her past and true Southern roots at the festival, helping her mom make jam, etc.

For your two leads, brainstorm these answers:

Character Name: Abby

Subtext Identity: An organizational expert with a fear of germs. who needs to control her environment.

Subtext Trait: Controlling, In denial, tries to hide her phobia

Subtext Logline: A germaphobic organizational expert who needs to control her environment falls in love with a massive slob.

Possible Areas of Subtext: controls the maids but doesn’t tell them about her phobia, cleans homes in hazmat gear, tries not to freak out when her boyfriend gets food all over himself.

For your two leads, brainstorm these answers:

Character Name: Randy / Boomer

Subtext Identity: A ruthless attorney who is friends with Jack

Subtext Trait: Conniving, manipulative, scheming

Subtext Logline: A ruthless attorney schemes to steal a business from his friends

Possible Areas of Subtext: helps Jack move things to learn more about Abby’s business, helps with the Little League game to get closer to Abby, offers to look at their financials to see how he can “help”, tells his boss (his father) they are ripe for the picking, undermines Abby’s ability to hire more people and get more clients.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Actor Attractors

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment:

This assignment helped me flesh out the antagonist much more than I had imagined. I’m seeing him so much more clearly than I did before.

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Lead Character Name: Abby Role: Protagonist

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?

She’s a complicated character who is strong yet vulnerable. She’s dealing with a terrible phobia. She has a strong sense of right and wrong, but will do whatever is necessary to save her father’s business.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?

She’s a germaphobe. She’s learned to control her environment and that all pops when her dad has a heart attack. Now she must face her biggest fears on many levels.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?

Designing online, a studio set up in her apartment. Cleaning the office, and then homes, wearing hazmat suits, doing funny things to clean without getting germs on her. Trying to eat messy food without getting it on her. Getting back on a horse and riding (she fell as a kid). Playing poker with the maids.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?

A strong willed, goal oriented germaphobe who will do anything to save her father’s business, including facing her deepest fears.

5. What could be this character’s emotional range

From a terrified germaphobe to a conqueror; emotionally vulnerable to strong willed and stubborn. Caring and loving to angry and guarded.

6. What subtext can the actor play?

She is constantly hiding her fear of germs, doing everything she can to appear normal and not have people see this vulnerability. She’d rather have people think she’s a flake or demanding then know that it’s because she’s afraid.

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?

With Aracelli, the head maid. The two butt heads, each feeling they are in charge. Aracelli calls for the maids to strike (call out sick) leaving Abby to clean everything by herself. With Jack, she has a push/pull, attraction/repulsion relationship… he’s trying to help her and she feels he’s trying to “fix” her… but at the same time, she wants to fix his sloppiness.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?

Through the irony of having a fear of germs and being forced to take over her father’s cleaning business.

9. What could make this character special and unique?

Her determination to overcome her fear to save her father’s business as well as having a relationship with the love of her life, despite him being a complete slob.

<div>
</div>

Character Name: Boomer / Randy / Randall
Walker

Role: Antagonist

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?

He’s a man living a double life. One as Boomer, the childhood best friend of Abby’s brother and boyfriend and Second as the slimy attorney who is trying to steal the cleaning business away from Abby and her family. He’s sly and cunning while appearing to be helpful.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?

He’s living a double life. Sly and cunning, loud and boisterous. Appears to be one thing but is something else.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Antagonist could take in the script?

Playing baseball. Watching the Little League kids, he trips a kid on purpose and then helps him up as if the kid was clumsy. Starts a food fight and intentionally makes Jack look much worse, knowing that it will upset Abby.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?

A wise-cracking Attorney who pretends to want to help his “friends” but uses his relationships to further himself and his family financially.

5. What could be this character’s emotional range

From a wise-cracking jerk to a serious attorney, from feigning compassion to sliminess.

6. What subtext can the actor play?

This character lives a lie. While he does consider the characters his “friends”, he’d do anything to get ahead in his company (owned by his father) and get ahead financially.

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?

With Jack, pretending to want to help he and Abby but in reality, he knows he’s going to screw them over.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?

Through living a double life, one as the friend of people he’s known since childhood and the other as a ruthless lawyer bent on stealing Abby’s business.

9. What could make this character special and unique?

He is charismatic, bold, and funny, yet ruthless and conniving.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Actors Attractor for Sweet Home Alabama

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment: This was FUN! I love digging deep into character’s psyche and building them internally for what they need to do externally. While I’ve watched Sweet Home Alabama waaaay over a dozen times, looking for the Actor Attractors helped me to see many things that I’ve missed. I’ll be looking for these things in all movies I watch from now on!

Lead Character Name: Melanie Carmichael/Smooter

1. Why would an actor WANT to be known for this role?

It’s a smart, fun character that hits many emotions and you’re able to root for someone with multiple foibles and watch her learn, grow and become the person she had always dreamed to be with the man she’s loved since she was 10 years old. Gets to play both high society and someone who can get in the mud with the best of them.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in the movie?

Melanie can easily live and navigate two very different worlds: the high society of NYC’s political class and the Fashion world, with the slow, sweet and easy down-home world of Alabama. However, she’s worked so hard to forget who she was that she barrels into town thinking she’s better than all of these “hicks” and that you need a “passport” just to visit this other world…. She’s quick to apologize but she’s also very hard-headed. She’s the one torn between two worlds, two men and has to make a big choice. She’s incredibly smart but running away from a past which has led her to living a lie… her entire journey builds to this revelation (for her fiancé) and then it blows up.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead takes in the movie?

Kissing TWO handsome men. Taking on the good old boys at the pool game. Replacing all of Jake’s furniture. Walking through the fields, stepping over Civil War Reenactors. Punching Candice Bergan in the face. Running through the rain onto the beach during a thunderstorm. Dancing at a street fair.

4. How is this character introduced that could sell it to an actor?

Past: Sweet scene of kids, and then hit by lightning. She’s in the fast-paced world of Fashion Design preparing for Fashion week. She’s breaking through with her first show. This woman appears to have it all together.

5. What is this character’s emotional range?

The character showcases a wide array of emotions, from the thrill of an engagement to guilt, anger, regret, mourning, tearful apologies to fun and sassy.

6. What subtext can the actor play?

She is always hiding a part of herself because she’s living a lie. In NY she hides her past. In Alabama she has to hide the fact that she’s completely lied about herself up in NY (changing her name, where she grew up and more). It’s a balancing act that wears on her. She is uppity to those in Alabama, but in actuality is really a girl who feel unworthy of her success and happiness because of her past (losing the baby and running out on Jake and all her friends).

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character has?

She has a special relationship with Jake, whom she’s been in love with since 10. She wants to divorce him and escape her past completely, but she can’t get him out of her mind. Just when he signs the divorce papers and leaves, she kisses him doesn’t want to let him go.

Melanie also has a special relationship with Stella, Jake’s mom. Stella secretly wants the two of them to get back together, but she also wants the best for Melanie, whatever that might be. She’s the one Melanie goes to, apologizing and confessing… she’s her sounding board and the person she obviously trusted when she was very young. She didn’t have that relationship with her own mother. Stella is the one, in the end, at the wedding who happens to have the pen that Melanie could use to divorce her son… and tells her that “these things happen for a reason.”

8. How is this character’s unique voice presented?

Her Southern Accent is unique and disarming up in NYC. Her vulnerability and truthfulness (once she tells the truth) is on full display (both places) and people in Alabama can’t stay mad at her, despite what she continues to do. This allows her to maintain her friendships and business relationships, even allow her fiancé to not be angry, but let her go.

9) what makes this character special and unique?

She’s the girl who made it out and made a huge success of herself. She’s the girl who has it all and trades the dream guy (for so many women) for the love of her life… BUT she’s also the girl who is living a lie and that makes the story interesting.

10. (Fill in a scene that shows the character fulfilling much of the Actor Attractor model.)

That’s the wedding scene at the end. We start the scene with Melanie feeling unsure, she still loves Jake but is about to marry Andrew. Her mother has to convince her to go through with it, to get out of that town and Alabama.

As she walks down the aisle, torn between two men and two lives, the attorney, Mr. Buford runs towards her. He’s tackled and dragged away until Melanie stops her friends. Mr. Buford tells her that she didn’t sign the divorce papers. She says, “you mean I’m still married?” and he responds, “Only if you want to be.” The look across her face lets us know, she wants to be… but Andrew presses her, he’s upset. So she asks if anyone has a pen. The ONLY person who does is Stella, Jake’s mom. She is so wise and states that “… these things happen for a reason.” Prompting her with the ‘you can still change your mind.’

Melanie tries to sign the papers, her hand waivers back and forth… finally she tells Andrew he doesn’t want to marry her and he shouldn’t, because she gave her whole heart away a long time ago and never got it back.

He decides to let her go and walks off. Then Kate, Andrew’s mom, the Mayor of NY, calls her a little bitch and that she was not going to leave the future president of the united states at the altar. When Pearl (Melanie’s Mom steps in to de-escalate the situation, Kate responds with a derogatory remark (go back to your double wide and fry something). You don’t put down someone’s momma in the South… and Melanie hauls off and punches her in the face. As it starts raining and people run for cover, Melanie yells to the friends of the bride to stick around, she is going to find a groom.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

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• This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by  Claudia Wolfkind.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Genre Conventions

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment: By doing two sweeps of the versions you can build the genre pints into the story making sure that the genre structure is what the audience (and producers) will expect.

TITLE: CLEAN SWEEP

CONCEPT: A germaphobe Martha Stewart wannabe has to take over her father’s cleaning business after he has a heart attack, and meets the love of her life, not knowing he’s the world’s worst slob.

GENRE: ROMANTIC COMEDY

Purpose: To have the audience experience falling in love again

The Journey of Love:

Relationship Set-Up

Issues:

Separation:

Comedy:

VERSION 1)

Act 1:

Opening: Abby is walking her dog down the street, both are in disposable booties, she is also in gloves and a mask.

Does an on-camera event from home, teaching viewers about organization. It’s from her home, there’s a studio set up in her home.

Her best friend and publisher needs her to go on tour for her book that’s coming out. She’s afraid to meet people / go places because of the germs.

Inciting Incident: Her father has a heart attack. She goes to the hospital and is told she is the only one who can take on the family business (cleaning) while the father recuperates. Meets Jack at the Hospital elevator, not knowing he’s going to visit her father.

Turning Point: Goes to cleaning business, meets maids who are not welcoming, realizes that the business is in serious financial trouble, and someone is trying to take them over.

Act 2:

New plan: Abby attempts to clean things up, first in the office. Trying to deal with germs. She tries to push the maids to do more work in less time. Runs into Jack again, and again.

Plan in action: Abby attempts to do some cleaning herself to see what the maids are up against. She goes to clean Jack’s home (not knowing it’s his home). Tries to find a way out of the debt. Jack tried to help her confront her fear. She’s trying to deal with him being a slob.

Midpoint Turning Point: The maids have had enough and issue a sick out/strike, no one is cleaning. The business gets a Notice of Action for failure to pay bills.

Act 3:

Rethink everything: Abby thinks about selling the business. She can’t keep cleaning by herself. Tries to hire new people. Most are a big failure. Jack doesn’t think he’s got a problem.

New plan: Jack brings on his friend, Boomer, to look over the contracts and the accounting books and hopefully find a way out. Boomer says it’s over, best to sell as quick as possible. She gets a big job to prepare for an important formal event.

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: new maids have quit. Bills are due, the lights are literally going out; clients are cancelling left and right. Abby can’t deal with Jack’s slobbery.

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Abby and Jack find out Boomer is behind the takeover. Abby has to pull off the big event by herself. She goes to the maids one last time and apologizes.

Resolution: Maids feel sorry for her and help her nail the big event. Abby is given a huge cleaning contract that will 10X the size of the business. Her Dad is well enough to come back. Abby puts the lead maid (who was her nemesis) in charge.

Boomer is fired by his dad for not making the deal happen. Jack shows Abby his plans for her business.

Abby goes on her book tour, in front of TV audiences.

VERSION 2)

Act 1:

Opening: Abby is walking her dog down the street, both are in disposable booties, she is also in gloves and a mask.

Does an on-camera event from home, teaching viewers about organization. It’s from her home, there’s a studio set up in her home.

Her best friend and publisher needs her to go on tour for her book that’s coming out. She’s afraid to meet people / go places because of the germs.

Inciting Incident: Her father has a heart attack. She goes to the hospital and is told she is the only one who can take on the family business (cleaning) while the father recuperates.

Meets Jack at the Hospital elevator, not knowing he’s going to visit her father.

Jack is in the elevator, exiting as the door opens (he’s just leaving visiting her Dad). Abby crashes into him, spilling the coffee he’s holding all over him. She’s apologetic, he doesn’t mind. There’s a spark.

Turning Point: Goes to cleaning business, meets maids who are not welcoming, realizes that the business is in serious financial trouble, and someone is trying to take them over.

Abby physically runs into Jack again, this time he’s coming out of her Dad’s hospital room. Another mess. She asks if he knows her Dad. Jack just says they are friends. Jack’s phone rings and he has to leave, late for an appt.

Abby goes to confront her Dad about the financial issues, but he feigns more heart trouble and she shuts up.

Act 2:

New plan: Abby attempts to clean things up, first in the office. Trying to deal with germs. She tries to push the maids to do more work in less time. Runs into Jack again, and again.

Abby goes to speak with her brother, who is at the ballfield. She’s shocked to see Jack there. That they’ve been friends since childhood. She learns that Jack’s taken her dad’s place coaching, until he’s better. Her brother and Boomer, their friend, are helping.

The past comes into play. How Abby became a germaphobe. Jack was actually there as well and helped her, like a Knight in shining armor.

Plan in action: Abby attempts to do some cleaning herself to see what the maids are up against. She goes to clean Jack’s home (not knowing it’s his home… until she does and is shocked). Tries to find a way out of the debt. Jack tries to help her confront her fear. She’s trying to deal with him being a slob. She is back and forth on whether she can be with him.

Midpoint Turning Point: The maids have had enough and issue a sick out/strike, no one is cleaning. The business gets a Notice of Action for failure to pay bills.

Act 3:

Rethink everything: Abby thinks about selling the business. She can’t keep cleaning by herself. Tries to hire new people. Most are a big failure. Jack doesn’t think he’s got a problem but is willing to try to do better for her.

New plan: Jack play’s Knight again and brings on his friend, Boomer, to look over the contracts and the accounting books and hopefully find a way out. Boomer says it’s over, best to sell as quick as possible.

She gets a big job to prepare for an important formal event.

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: new maids have quit. Bills are due, the lights are literally going out; clients are cancelling left and right.

Abby’s stress makes her symptoms worse.

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Abby and Jack find out Boomer is behind the takeover.

Abby blames Jack for exposing their company info to Boomer and accuses Jack of being in on it. She breaks up with him.

Abby has to pull off the big event by herself. She goes to the maids one last time and apologizes.

Resolution: Maids feel sorry for her and help her nail the big event.

Jack shows up at the event, IN A TUX… he can be cleaned up and neat!

Abby is given a huge cleaning contract that will 10X the size of the business. Her Dad is well enough to come back. Abby puts the lead maid (who was her nemesis) in charge.

Boomer is fired by his dad for not making the deal happen.

Jack shows Abby his plans for her business.

Abby goes on her book tour, in front of TV audiences.

EDIT! There must be a misunderstanding! Abby will believe Jack had something to do with Boomer / the business takeover, out of a misunderstanding. Will she overhear something wrong? Will she read something? Will Boomer lie and say Jack set it up? Would Boomer destroy his friendship with Jack to help his father? Maybe.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by  Claudia Wolfkind.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s 4 Act Transformational Structure

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment: That you can fill in the blanks with your 4 Act Structure and make outlining so much easier. It also helps you see the big picture and make sure you are delivering on the promise of the premise.

Concept: A germaphobe Martha Stewart wannabe must
take over her family’s cleaning company while her father recuperates from
a heart attack and meets the love of her life, who happens to be the
world’s biggest slob <div>

Main Conflict: Her fear of
germs is destroying her life and ability to interact with people and move
on her dreams

Old
Ways:
Afraid
and hiding out
Must
wear protective gear all the time
Must
control everything
Terrified
of germs

New
Ways:
Able
to be out and meet people/do interviews
Able
to go without protective gear most of the time
Able
to be more flexible, to trust and allow others to take charge
Has
a healthy respect but no longer terrified of germs

Act 1:

Opening: Abby is walking her dog down the street, both are in disposable booties, she is also in gloves and a mask.

Does an on-camera event from home, teaching viewers about organization. It’s from her home, there’s a studio set up in her home.

Her best friend and publisher needs her to go on tour for her book that’s coming out. She’s afraid to meet people / go places because of the germs.

Inciting Incident: Her father has a heart attack. She goes to the hospital and is told she is the only one who can take on the family business (cleaning) while the father recuperates. Meets Jack at the Hospital elevator, not knowing he’s going to visit her father.

Turning Point: Goes to cleaning business, meets maids who are not welcoming, realizes that the business is in serious financial trouble, and someone is trying to take them over.

Act 2:

New plan: Abby attempts to clean things up, first in the office. Trying to deal with germs. She tries to push the maids to do more work in less time. Runs into Jack again, and again.

Plan in action: Abby attempts to do some cleaning herself to see what the maids are up against. She goes to clean Jack’s home (not knowing it’s his home). Tries to find a way out of the debt. Jack tried to help her confront her fear. She’s trying to deal with him being a slob.

Midpoint Turning Point: The maids have had enough and issue a sick out/strike, no one is cleaning. The business gets a Notice of Action for failure to pay bills.

Act 3:

Rethink everything: Abby thinks about selling the business. She can’t keep cleaning by herself. Tries to hire new people. Most are a big failure. Jack doesn’t think he’s got a problem.

New plan: Jack brings on his friend, Boomer, to look over the contracts and the accounting books and hopefully find a way out. Boomer says it’s over, best to sell as quick as possible. She gets a big job to prepare for an important formal event.

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: new maids have quit. Bills are due, the lights are literally going out; clients are cancelling left and right. Abby can’t deal with Jack’s slobbery.

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Abby and Jack find out Boomer is behind the takeover. Abby has to pull off the big event by herself. She goes to the maids one last time and apologizes.

Resolution: Maids feel sorry for her and help her nail the big event. Abby is given a huge cleaning contract that will 10X the size of the business. Her Dad is well enough to come back. Abby puts the lead maid (who was her nemesis) in charge.

Boomer is fired by his dad for not making the deal happen. Jack shows Abby his plans for her business.

Abby goes on her book tour, in front of TV audiences.

</div>

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Subtext Plot

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment: I’ve always loved subtext, it’s what makes the story meaningful, without it you have a dull one-dimensional story. I learned more specific types of subtext plots and the various levels necessary to create an engaging story.

SUBTEXT PLOTS: I’m employing both the Fish Out of Water and the Competitive Agendas.

The main character, Abby, suffers from a severe fear of germs. The fun will take place (Fish Out of Water) as she has to navigate running her father’s cleaning business while dealing with her fear of germs. She also meets Jack, the man of her dreams, not knowing he’s a massive slob, and must work through her issues to have a meaningful relationship with him.

The (Competitive Agendas) take place as Jack’s best friend, Boomer, is brought in to help Abby, but Boomer is really the one who wants to take over her family’s business.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Transformational Journey

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment: While I intrinsically felt my character’s journey, it was really helpful to write it all down, so I know what I am shooting for… and I’ll see clearly if the story doesn’t deliver on the promise of the transformation.

Arc
Beginning:
Designer who’s germaphobia is destroying her career.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Arc Ending: Is able to go on
a book tour and her brand out there

Internal Journey: from paralyzed
with fear to confident and strong

External Journey: from hiding out
from her publisher to meeting people, saving her family’s business and
going on a book tour

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Old Ways:

Afraid and hiding
out

Must wear
protective gear all the time

Must control
everything

Terrified of germs

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>New
Ways:

Able
to be out and meet people/do interviews

Able
to go without protective gear most of the time

Able
to be more flexible, to trust and allow others to take charge

Has
a healthy respect, but no longer terrified of germs

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Intentional Lead Characters

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment: Reading today’s lesson gave me inspiration on the Antagonist! I realized I had to bring them into the story earlier and expand the role to heighten the problems that my protagonist faces.

BTW – Hal, I loved the analogy with the puzzle… I’ve been doing them lately to relieve stress, and I was absolutely able to see how we don’t even consider the trying and failing (for the right pieces along the way) to be an issue with US, it’s just “not right YET.” I’m going to be bringing that into this entire process, THANK YOU!

Character: Abby (protagonist)

Logline: Abby is a designer who must watch over her father’s cleaning business, she falls in love with Jack.

Unique: Abby is a germaphobe, must feel in control all the time

Character: Randy (Antagonist)

Randy is Jack’s best friend; he pretends to help Abby but is really trying to destroy her business

Unique: Slimy, boastful, liar

Character: Jack (TRIANGLE)

Jack falls in love with Abby and tries to help her by bringing in his best friend, Randy, not knowing that Randy has been trying to destroy her family’s business.

Unique: Caring, Trusting to a Fault, a Total Slob

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Title, Concept, and Character Structure!

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment: I always thought it was important to outline, I basically would do an in depth beat sheet… but I had forgotten Terry Rossio saying that it would save us 2-5 drafts. That’s enough to make me commit to outlining for the rest of my life! Lol

Title: Clean Sweep

Concept: A germaphobe Martha Stewart wannabe must take over her family’s cleaning company while her father recuperates from a heart attack and meets the love of her life, who happens to be the world’s biggest slob.

Character Structure: Romantic Comedy

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Hi Everyone!

My name is Claudia Wolfkind. I’ve written 8 features (two that were optioned) and a couple of TV scripts and I also produced/wrote a reality TV series on gold prospecting that ran for 13 episodes.

My hope for the class – elevate my writing to the best it’s ever been, write faster than I’ve ever have (consistently) and… and… write and sell this particular script that I’ve been wanting to write for years. Would love to get a great manager from this and possibly paid writing assignments since I need to retire (from working) and need to make my dream of writing fulltime a reality.

Something unique and interesting… I was hired to create a television channel from scratch, with no programming budget… which I did, The Outdoor Channel. I then became head of programming and development for almost 5 years and produced hundreds of hours of content including The Gold Prospector’s Show which ran on TNN. During my tenure I was the only female executive among some … let’s just say very interesting men. My novel The Flannel Channel/AKA The Devil Wore Flannel will get written one day.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia Wolfkind

“I agree to the terms of this release form.”

3. Please leave the entire text below to confirm what you agree to.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of Writing Incredible Movies, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, through social media, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, videos, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Hi Hal, Cheryl and my awesome fellow Pro-Series 80 members. I apologize for being gone so long, I won’t hurt your eyes with writing all that’s happened, I’m just here to state that I am taking up the mantle again and moving forward. As I’ve missed so much, I’m basically starting over (truncating for the lessons completed but going over every single lesson and what work completed to make sure that I did, in fact, learn what I needed to learn – to truly honor this wonderful program I even just re-listened to the opening teleconference and I am so glad I did. I’m excited to be back, wishing I was marketing my script… but, I need to write it first! 😉 I’m grateful that I get to put my nose to the grindstone, I hope to see you all in the Alumni group as soon as I can catch up!

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Cliche Busting

What I learned… the importance of spinning ideas and scenes to never (knowingly) have anything be a cliche – cliches are the death of holding someone’s interest in your movie.

I hopefully will have time to create the full outline – as I have done previously in scripts, I always do a pass (after the first draft) to make sure nothing is cliche – I know I have written a couple of scripts in my younger days that did indeed, have similar scenes from other movies. Now seeing those it makes me ill. That said… while we try to be completely original, there is no way a person won’t have similar aspects to someone else’s scenes as there is no way we could watch all the films that are put out there, we can only make sure to be as creative and original as humanely possible with the information we have in our brains (memories of other films we’ve seen).

After reviewing my beats, I do not have any scenes I would consider cliche… as I threw them out in the initial beat phase (like where the lead would meet the boyfriend; what he did for a living; where is the film set; etc). I wrangled and wrangled with the boyfriend issue – what he did for a living and where they would meet waaaaaay too long, MONTHS… simply because an “easy” meet cute wouldn’t satisfy the story, it would push it to B level cable TV level. In fact, I only cracked what felt would truly work after I started the pro-series.

Now, going forward, when the time comes, I will do a pass for cliches and spin 12-25 new possibilities to make sure it’s smart and original and fun.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Set Up, Pay offs

Nick picking her up out of the muck

Nick and Abby’s brother – in Little League together

Nick takes Abby to a ballgame

Nick and Bill are at a ballgame together

Abby says lawyers are slimy / her brother is a lawyer

Bill (trying to steal the company) is a lawyer

Friend trying to get her on a talk show

Pay off – she’ll be on a show, and talking about her upcoming cable show

Abby, at the hospital, asks her father to promote one of the maids to help

Neither Abby not Adrianna respect each other. Abby feels Adrianna doesn’t care about the business, not her father.

Abby and Adrianna respect each other, Adrianna is made the manager

[Claudia Wolfkind]

CLAUDIA’S PASS #6 SUBPLOTS WITH MEAN

What I’ve learned: It’s a new experience listing the subplots this way – it helps clarify each SP importance and whether they help or drag down the main plot.

Subplots:

Eileen

Nick

Maids/Adriana

Bill

Eileen is Abby’s friend and agent/manager.

Beginning: Eileen tries to get Abby to do a live in-person TV interview

Middle: Eileen bugs Abby throughout trying to get her to commit to the work Abby says is her dream.

End: Eileen gets Abby a big deal.

Nick – Abby’s boyfriend

Beginning: Young Nick tries to save Young Abby after the accident

Young Nick and Abby’s brother are on the same Little League team, they are coached by Bert.

Nick visits Bert in the hospital

Nick runs into Abby at the hospital, they don’t realize who the other person is…

Middle: Abby realizes Nick is a complete slop

Nick tries to help her with her phobia

End: Nick helps Abby save the business

Maids / Adrianna (head maid)

Beginning: Abby meets most of the maids at the business, early in the morning, maids are having coffee, don’t want to be bothered.

Middle: Tired of her demands, Adrianna convinces the maids to call out Sick.

End: After Abby apologizes, Adrianna convinces the others to help her save the business for Bert.

Bill – lawyer, college friend of Nick

Beginning: Bill and Nick are at a ballgame, Nick mentions Bert being in the hospital

Middle: Bill crashes a date with Nick and Abby to acquire info.

End: Bill tries to suck up Abby’s clients. Gets socked in the eye by Abby.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

what I’ve learned doing this assignment: definitely a strong technique to build tension and momentum.

1. Tell us the following:

– Concept: An OCD, germaphobe Martha Stewart wannabe must take over the family’s cleaning business after her father becomes ill meets the man of her dreams, not knowing he makes Oscar Madison look like Felix Unger.

– Protagonist Goal: To save the family’s business

– Protagonist Character Arc: Abby has been suffering from phobias since was a kid, she will need to overcome them to save her family’s business and to have a real relationship with Nick.

– Main Conflict: Abby has to put aside her dreams (and her phobias) to help run her father’s cleaning business after he has a heart attack.

2. Create the Action/Reaction Events chart for your story.

and list it.

ACTION / REACTION EVENTS

Abby: Riding a horse

Brother causes horse to throw her into pile

Abby starts screaming, terrified

Nick, as a boy, pulls her out of the pile and yells at her brother

Abby does a video

Friend tries to get her to do an in-person interview

INCITING INCIDENT:

Abby goes to visit father in the hospital

Nick is just leaving the hospital after visiting her dad and runs into her with food.

Abby sees her Dad

Her Dad needs her to take over the company

FIRST T.P.

Abby starts helping at the company

The maids push back against her ideas

Abby realizes the accounting books aren’t accurate

Her father lies, claiming he had no idea

Abby pushes the maids to work harder

MIDPOINT:

The Maids stage a “Maid Flu” and quit working

Abby cleans homes on her own

It takes her 5 times longer because of the phobias

Abby looks to hire more maids

The maids sabotage her / scare off all applicants

Abby looks for ways to bring in more money

The Electric company shuts down the power

Abby appeals to the power company

Another cleaning company offers to buy their business

Abby looks for more sourcing, other ideas

Other business undermines her relationship with the clients

Abby gives up, decides to sell

Other business pulls offer, it can now get everyone on the cheap

Abby pleads to the maids

They come to help

3. Make a list of the emotional moments the Protagonist will go

through that will cause him or her to face the change they need

to make.

The emotional moments are built in throughout the above Action/Reaction as the lead Antagonist is the Fear/Phobia that she faces.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s NQ 3 & 4

What I learned… the NQ keep forcing you to go deeper and deeper to find the essential emotional core of your story and to make sure that you hold onto each of these through your story – your throughline. These are the things that will have an audience engaged and caring about you character and their journey.

Apply Necessary Questions 3 and 4 to your outline.

1. Tell us your concept.

An OCD, germaphobe Martha Stewart wannabe must take over the family’s cleaning business after her father becomes ill meets the man of her dreams, not knowing he makes Oscar Madison look like Felix Unger.

2. Tell us your Emotional Dilemma and the answers to these questions:

Emotional Dilemma: Abby knows that she has to step up and run her father’s business but she’s literally terrified of germs, at the same time she has to put aside her own dreams to be there for her family.

A. How does the Emotional Dilemma first show up?

At the hospital when her father asks her to take over running the business while he convalesces.

B. How are both sides of the issue built up?

Abby is upset that she needs to put her own dreams aside to help her family, but she does. She has to fight the phobia to be at the company and then engage in actual cleaning of the office and other people’s homes (germs). Her frustration makes her (in the maid’s eyes) overbearing and she quickly loses their respect and their help. Abby keeps telling herself that her way is right but sees how she’s cocooned herself from the joy of living. When Nick pushes her to experience life, she takes baby steps, but falls down a hole when she realizes he’s a terrible slob.

B. When does the protagonist make the choice?

When she realizes that unless she takes the risk, she will lose everything, Nick, her career, her father’s business.

C. What do they lose in making that choice?

Abby loses the safety net she’s built around herself.

3. Tell us your Theme and the answers to these questions:

It’s the risks we take that makes life worth living.

A. What are both sides of your theme?

If you don’t take the risks you will be safe but others will lose

If you do take the risks others will win but you lose your safety

B. How will both sides show up throughout your story?

Abby is safe in her routines; from having a home studio to doing everything online so no one can touch her (physically and metaphorically). She tries to work with people strictly via electronics.

Each time she is forced to step out, because the safe way isn’t working any more, she experiences fear, but also hints of life, love, pleasure in the tiny things.

C. How does the climax of the story demand your message?

Realizing she’s about to lose everything, including the respect of her family as well as the family business, the relationship that she’s started, her dream career and friends… she painfully pushes past the fear to do what is necessary and finds great joy and her new life in the process.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s 3^rd Pass NQ 1 & 2

Day Nine – Adding Two Questions

What I learned: we’re doing this as building blocks to a hopefully solid and great story.

Concept: An OCD, germaphobe Martha Stewart wannabe must take over the family’s cleaning business after her father becomes ill meets the man of her dreams, not knowing he makes Oscar Madison look like Felix Unger.

1) Dramatic Question: Will Abby be able to overcome her fear of germs and save her father’s business?

2) Main conflict: Abby has to put aside her dreams to help her father and she is terrified of germs and it causes her to make decisions and often act contrary to what is best for her and others.

To discover how the Dramatic Question can show up in your outline, answer these three questions:

A. Where does the Dramatic Question first get established and how?

In the opening scenes we see Abby in an accident that causes her to be covered with poo and subsequently germs…

B. How is the Dramatic Question increased in intensity?

All throughout the story Abby must fight against her fear. She must go into the Cleaning Business itself, which is anything but clean. She must literally clean houses herself after the maids stage a Sick Out or “Clean Flu.”

C. Where does the Dramatic Question finally get answered?

In the end we see Abby and Nick, along with her family and the maids (and their families), have an outdoor party… she’s exposed to so many things (like food, that we and she have seen a fly land on) and she’s tentative, but willing to shoo away and eat from that bowl – albeit, taking from the other side that the fly landed on.

2. THE MAIN CONFLICT

A. When does the Main Conflict first show up?

Abby refuses to do an in-person interview that could help her brand and connect her to sponsors.

B. How many ways can you express the Main Conflict throughout the story?

Abby disappoints her best friend by not doing the interview.

Abby irritates the workers at her Dad’s company.

Abby’s demands on the workers have them calling for a Sick Out

Abby’s need for perfectionism has her cleaning one house while all the others are left undone.

Abby can’t go on a proper date out in public without seeing/feeling germs everywhere.

D. What brings the Main Conflict to a boiling point in the 3rd Act?

Abby is about to lose her Father’s business because of her phobia.

E. How is the Main Conflict resolved?

Abby realizes that family and relationships are more important than her fears and she does whatever is necessary to fix the problems, such as reaching out and apologizing to the workers.

3) Structure: Nine Beats of the Structure:

Opening Scene: Abby (at 7 years old) is on a pony at a farm, the pony gets scared by her brother and takes off, she valiantly holds on until the pony stops dead, throwing her over his head and right into a mucked pile of poo. She’s okay, but covered in poo and is screaming with fright.

Inciting Incident: Abby, now an adult, gets word that her father has had a heart attack. She races to the hospital. He will be okay, but needs her to take over the family cleaning company.

Page 10 / What’s the movie about: Abby will need to get over her fear if she is to save the family business.

1^st Turning Point: At the Cleaning company. It’s filthy, no one is there yet. Going through paperwork she sees that the business is in financial trouble and her father kept it a secret.

Midpoint: The workers/maids are so upset with the way she’s running the company that they stage a “sick out” – so there’s no one to clean the places except for Abby!

Second Turning Point: Major competitor, her father’s arch nemesis, offers to buy out the company which is crumbling.

Crisis: The Nemesis reaches out to all of the unhappy customers, they are losing customers left and right.

Climax: Abby calls a meeting with the maids and apologizes. She asks for their help, not for her, but for her father. The maids agree and do double duty, getting clients back and happy.

Resolution: Dad wheels back in to take over the business, he’s thrilled with how she’s kept it together, everyone is happy.

4) Background is coming in… I have connected how Nick and Abby are connected PRIOR to meeting as adults and have seen the scenes that will be written, Nick will be childhood friends with Abby’s brother. He’ll be there the day she has her accident and will be the one who helps her up and out of the … pile. However, all these years she didn’t know that he stayed in touch with her Dad… their meet cute will be at the Hospital.

Also, I’ve gotten some ideas on the company that will be trying to take over her Father’s company and the possible connections to Nick. I’m vacillating back and forth, I don’t ever want to be cliché.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Pass 2: Story Logic Web

1. What I learned doing this assignment is…. as always, we look for ways to heighten the elements – from structure to character, etc… to make it a better story.

2. BEFORE:

Concept: An OCD, germaphobe Martha Stewart wannabe must take over the family’s cleaning business after her father becomes ill meets the man of her dreams, not knowing he makes Oscar Madison look like Felix Unger.

Lead Characters: Abby – a smart businesswoman who is fighting phobias

Nick – the boyfriend who is a secret slob.

Adriana – Maid who is the leader of the employees

Plot/Structure: (Tell us the Plot number and type. Then give us the 9 beats of your structure.) 14: Love & 12: Transformation. It’s a love story (Romantic Comedy, but also the transformation of a character who’s been fighting a fear almost her entire life).

3. Structure: Nine Beats of the Structure:

Opening Scene: Abby (at 7 years old) is on a pony at a farm, the pony gets scared by her brother and takes off, she valiantly holds on until the pony stops dead, throwing her over his head and right into a mucked pile of poo. She’s okay, but covered in poo and is screaming with fright.

Inciting Incident: Abby, now an adult, gets word that her father has had a heart attack. She races to the hospital. He will be okay, but needs her to take over the family cleaning company.

Page 10 / What’s the movie about: Abby will need to get over her fear if she is to save the family business.

1^st Turning Point: At the Cleaning company. It’s filthy, no one is there yet. Going through paperwork she sees that the business is in financial trouble and her father kept it a secret.

Midpoint: The workers/maids are so upset with the way she’s running the company that they stage a “sick out” – so there’s no one to clean the places except for Abby!

Second Turning Point: Major competitor, her father’s arch nemesis, offers to buy out the company which is crumbling.

Crisis: The Nemesis reaches out to all of the unhappy customers, they are losing customers left and right.

Climax: Abby calls a meeting with the maids and apologizes. She asks for their help, not for her, but for her father. The maids agree and do double duty, getting clients back and happy.

Resolution: Dad wheels back in to take over the business, he’s thrilled with how she’s kept it together, everyone is happy.

Character Arc: Abby has been suffering from phobias since was a kid, she will need to overcome them to save her family’s business and to have a real relationship with Nick.

Main Conflict: Abby has to put aside her dreams (and her phobias) to help run her father’s cleaning business after he has a heart attack.

Dramatic Question: Will Abby be able to overcome her fears and keep the business afloat?

Dilemma: Abby knows that she has to step up and run her father’s business but she’s literally terrified of germs, at the same time she has to put aside her own dreams to be there for her family.

Theme: Life is messy, you need to dig in and experience it to find your way/path/calling/future.

3. DISCOVERIES and IMPROVEMENTS:

While I spent quite a bit of time going through the areas, I’m keeping it as is for now, there is so much that still needs to be heightened and this description doesn’t go into anything regarding Nick… he’s the B story, love interest, everything above/below is the A story. Nick will help Abby get through the worst of the phobia (it won’t completely go away, that would be an unreasonable expectation). Also, Nick is hiding a secret (his extreme sloppiness) and how Abby finds out will be, hopefully, very funny. I’m open to going in whatever direction/ make any changes that will make it better… my brain today just said it was done.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s 1st Pass

What I learned: I changed which script I’m working on based on Cheryl’s suggestion. I’m trying to catch so this will be shorter than hoped.

1. CONCEPT: An OCD, germaphobe Martha Stewart wannabe must take over the family’s cleaning business after her father becomes ill meets the man of her dreams, not knowing he makes Oscar Madison look like Felix Unger.

2. Plot/Plot Summary: Love & Transformation. It’s a love story (Romantic Comedy, but also the transformation of a character who’s been fighting a fear almost her entire life).

3. Structure: Nine Beats of the Structure:

Opening Scene: Abby (at 7 years old) is on a pony at a farm, the pony gets scared by her brother and takes off, she valiantly holds on until the pony stops dead, throwing her over his head and right into a mucked pile of poo. She’s okay, but covered in poo and is screaming with fright.

Inciting Incident: Abby, now an adult, gets word that her father has had a heart attack. She races to the hospital. He will be okay, but needs her to take over the family cleaning company.

Page 10 / What’s the movie about: Abby will need to get over her fear if she is to save the family business.

1^st Turning Point: At the Cleaning company. It’s filthy, no one is there yet. Going through paperwork she sees that the business is in financial trouble.

Midpoint: The workers/maids are so upset with the way she’s running the company that they stage a “sick out” – so there’s no one to clean the places except for Abby!

Second Turning Point: Major competitor, her father’s arch nemesis, offers to buy out the company which is crumbling.

Crisis: The Nemesis reaches out to all of their unhappy customers, they are losing customers left and right.

Climax: Abby calls a meeting with the maids and apologizes. She asks for their help, not for her, but for her father. The maids agree and do double duty, getting clients back and happy.

Resolution: Dad wheels back in to take over the business, he’s thrilled with how she’s kept it together, everyone is happy.

4. Protagonist Character Arc:

Part to be changed: Her need to control everything.

Biggest fear: Germs

Completion of arc: She’s learned to live with germs.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Favorite Movie Outline: WITNESS

What I learned… I appreciated going scene by scene to distill the essence…I realize I didn’t actually WRITE the essence, but understood it in my head as I was writing what took place. ARGH.

Dramatic Question: Will Book be able to expose the dirty cops and keep Samuel safe?

Main Conflict: John Book has to keep his witness safe from dirty cops who murdered an undercover cop.

Dilemma: Will John stay with the Amish, which is a community of friendship and integrity, like his own or go back to his old life amongst the English.

Theme: Do the right thing no matter what the cost.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>WITNESS OUTLINE

1) EXT. Wheat Field – Dawn

Wind Blowing through wheat – powerful image – an Amish family walking through the wheat, funeral procession.

2) EXT. PA Countryside – DAWN

The Amish is a community that comes together during tragedy (and everything else – an import point later)

3) EXT. PA Country Road – DAWN

A Funeral Procession of horse drawn carriages – showing their simple life, no cars.

4) INT. LAPP Home – DAY

Jammed together in a home the Elder giving a Eulogy. All come together. We see the family mourning (RACHEL, SAMUEL and ELI LAPP).

5) INT. LAPP HOME – DAY

Men and women are seated separately.

6) INT. LAPP HOME – DAY

The women happily serve the men food. It’s expected.

7) INT. LAPP HOME – DAY

MEN joke, make small talk as DANIEL makes his way through the crowd, comforts Eli and goes to find Rachel, to whom he is attracted. The women stop speaking to allow Daniel to offer his condolences.

8) EXT. LAPP FARM – DUSK

Wheat blowing through the field. The family is gathering bales of wheat and putting them on the wagon, life/work must go on.

9) EXT. PA COUNTRYSIDE – DAY

Eli is taking Rachel and Samuel to the train station, they have suitcases with them. A truck comes up behind them, followed by a long line of cars.

10) EXT. PA TOWN – DAY

The shocking difference between the life in the country and the horse drawn carriage and all the cars on a busy street with freeway signs.

11) EXT. TRAIN STATION – DAY

Daniel has come in to say goodbye to Rachel and Samuel, he says to Samuel “So, first time to the big city, you’ll see so many things!” A foreshadowing of what actually happens. He gives Samuel a gift. Asks Rachel to come home soon – letting her know he likes her.

12) EXT. TRAIN – DAY

Rachel and Samuel go to board, she kisses her father-in-law and he says “You be careful among the English” another foreshadowing and showing the delineation of who they are as a people.

13) INT. TRAIN – DAY

Rachel and Samuel are looking out the window. Samuel is so excited, a new adventure awaits. They see Daniel showing off for them. It’s obvious he will be her next husband.

14) INT. TRAIN – DAY

Samuel is enchanted by all the things he’s never seen, like a hot air balloon.

15) INT. TRAIN STATION – DAY

A little GIRL sees Samuel and thinks he’s weird (funny clothing) her MOTHER tells her he’s a cute little Amish boy.

16) INT. TRAIN STATION – DAY

Rachel finds out their train has been delayed. They must wait at the station.

We are 10 minutes in, this is the cause that leads us to the inciting incident.

17) INT. TRAIN STATION – DAY

Rachel brings the bags to a bench so they can wait, Samuel explores. Excited to see a RABBI in the same Amish clothes, until he realizes, he’s a Rabbi, not Amish.

18) INT> TRAIN STATION – DAY

He’s overcome by the statue of Archangel Michael lifting up a soldier from the battlefield. Rachel finds him and pulls him back to the bench to wait.

19) INT. TRAIN STATION – DAY

Samuel asks where the bathroom is…

20) INT. BATHROOM – DAY

Samuel goes the bathroom and witnesses the murder of a man, he narrowly escapes being caught by the murderer, DANNY GLOVER.

21) INT. TRAIN STATION – DAY

Rachel and Samuel are surrounded by police. JOHN BOOK comes out of the bathroom (murder scene); asks for Schaffer (his boss) to be called; asks who is the witness… Samuel

22) INT. TRAIN STATION – DAY

Book questions Samuel, who he calls Sam (becoming friendly/familiar). We learn the murdered man was an undercover cop. They connect over Book being a “big guy.” Not a runt, which offends Book’s partner, CARTER, who’s the runt.

23) INT. CAR – NIGHT

Rachel and Samuel are in the back seat. Rachel says they can’t be held this way, they want nothing of their laws. Book and Carter are looking for a suspect they want Samuel to see.

24) INT. HAPPY VALLEY BAR – NIGHT

Book and carter enter, everyone knows them and is quiet. They grab T-BONE and drag him out of the bar.

25) EXT STREET – NIGHT

Book throws T-Bone down on the car and asks Samuel if he’s the guy. Samuel shakes his head. Rachel jumps out and says they want nothing more of this. T-Bone is angry, Book says it’s an “honest mistake”… the man laughs it off and says “it’s cool”… today that would be considered police brutality and the guy would sue. Carter asks what they are going to do with them? Book has an idea.

26) INT. SISTER’S HOME – NIGHT

Book brings Rachel and Eli to his sister’s (ELAINE)home. We learn Book is a man of principles when he disagrees with his sister having a man sleeping over, especially with her kids in the house.

27) INT. ELAINE’S HOME – NIGHT

Elaine says to Rachel, “John says you’re Amish.” Rachel happily says YES! Elaine only replies “oh”… showing disdain for their religion. Samuel wants to leave.

28) INT: POLICE STATION – MORNING

Book is leading Rachel and Samuel. Rachel states Book is happy they are there because he has a witness. Book agrees. But Rachel doesn’t want her son around a man who carries a gun (against their religion) and goes around “whacking people”… later that gun will save them.

29) INT. POLICE STATION – MORNING

Police line-up, Samuel says none of them are the killer.

30) INT. DINER – DAY

They are getting lunch. Rachel (via a conv with sister) reveals Book’s character, afraid of responsibility to have his own family and thinks highly of himself as a cop – when he’s drunk. He also father’s her children.

31) INT. POLICE STATION – DAY

Samuel IDs MCFEE as the killer. Book understands. All done with no dialogue, this is the first TP.

32) INT. SCHAEFFER’S HOUSE – NIGHT

Book tells Schaeffer it’s McFee. He outlines the drug heist that would have netted 22 million, which has gone missing. Schaeffer asks who else knows about it, he says “just you and me”, he asks where the boy is, that they need to be moved.

33) INT. PARKING GARAGE – NIGHT

Book is walking with his dry cleaning to the elevator and gets into a gun fight with McFee. McFee runs. Book realizes he’s been shot.

34) INT. ELAINE’S HOUSE – NIGHT

Elaine wakes up Rachel, says they must leave. John tells Elaine that she has to pretend she doesn’t know anything. He leaves his car in her garage and takes her car.

35) INT. CAR – NIGHT

Book admits that he was wrong, Rachel and Samuel are not safe in Philly.

36) EXT. PHONEBOOTH – NIGHT

Book calls Carter and asks him to steal all the paperwork on the case, to protect Rachel and Samuel. He tells him Schaeffer is involved and to watch his back. He’s disappearing for a few days.

37) INT. POLICE STATION – NIGHT

Carter pulls the paperwork on the case. He’s torn as he’s breaking the law, but trusts Book. (this couldn’t happen today with everything being digital.

38) EXT. ELAINE’S HOUSE – DAY

Schaeffer, McFee and FERGIE break into Elaine’s garage and find Book’s car. McFee breaks into the car and smirks saying “I told you I hit him.”

39) EXT. ELAINE’S HOUSE – DAY

Schaeffer questions Elaine. When she hears he says John’s in trouble, an illegal activity, she knows he’s lying and says so. John is an honorable man.

40) INT. CAR – DAY

Schaeffer tells his cohorts that Elaine doesn’t know where they went. Mcfee reveals that Carter is buttoned down tight – not talking.

41) EXT. CAR – DAY

Book gets Rachel and Samuel home. Rachel has begun to really like Book, she says he should rest, she’ll make coffee. He can’t stay. Then asks if he’ll be coming back for Samuel for the trial and Book says “There isn’t going to be a trial.” Rachel knows something is very wrong.

42) EXT. LAPP FARM – DAY

Book has an accident, he’s lost too much blood. Rachel calls him John, says he must get to a hospital. Book says it’s too dangerous, if they find him then they find the boy. Rachel understands.

43) EXT. LAPP FARM – DAY

Eli races a horse drawn wagon to get Book. Comedic undertone, “is the English dead?” Rachel, No… Eli: “Looks dead”

44) INT. LAPP HOUSE – DAY

An elder sees Book’s injury, says there’s nothing he could do, he needs a doctor. Rachel explains to him and Eli that if he dies the men that did this to him will come for Samuel. This changes everything, the man agrees to help.

The man says to Eli he’ll have to speak with the elders, what’s happening is going against their ways.

45) INT. LAPP BARN – DAY

Eli and Rachel use the horse to hide Elaine’s car in the barn.

46) INT. BEDROOM – DAY/NIGHT

Rachel takes care of John, holding hands, putting the poultice on him, wiping his brow… she’s become emotionally attached.

47) INT. BEDROOM – MORNING

John’s awake, fever broken, to find Rachel sleeping in the chair near him. He’s having feelings for her.

48) INT. POLICE STATION – DAY

Schaeffer, McFee and Fergie learn from a phone call with a local sheriff station that there’s no way to track down the Lapp family and they have no phones.

49) INT. BEDROOM – DAY

The Leadership has come to see Book. They leave and Rachel says that they are all very happy he lived, they didn’t know what they would do with him if he died. Comedic undertones. Also, Stoltz’ tea stinks.

50) EXT. LAPP HOUSE – DAY

Leadership says it’s not their business how Book came to their community.

51) INT. BEDROOM – DAY

Samuel finds Book’s gun. Book yells at him, then takes out the bullets an says it’s okay to look at it. Rachel sees Samuel holding the gun and insists that Book follow their ways in their house. John immediately agrees and gives her the gun to hide.

52) INT. LAPP HOUSE – DAY

Eli tells Samuel that only God should take a human life. Guns are unclean, should never be touched. When he asks Samuel if he would kill a man, Samuel responds he would only kill a bad man. He’s seen what they do. Eli says “what you take into your hands, you take into your heart” and quotes scripture – to come out from amongst them and be separate. It explains the Amish beliefs about war and much more.

53) INT. BEDROOM – DAY

Rachel is changing the bedsheets as Book reads a magazine on manure. She brings him her dead husband’s clothes, so he won’t stand out amongst strangers (but she’s secretly wanting him to join them). The buttons/hooks and eyes conv. Are you making fun of me, he says no, but she talks about the tourists coming right into their yards and staring at them. He asks for a public phone and tells him he won’t be going for a while – she’s trying to keep him there, control the situation. Book says he’s going that morning. She’s disappointed.

54) INT. KITCHEN – DAY

Eli and Samuel are outside waiting for Book. He comes in wearing Jacob’s clothes, Jacob was obviously shorter than Book. Rachel is laughing at him. He needs his gun – and the bullets. When he asks if he looks Amish she nods and says he looks plain.

55) EXT. TOWN – DAY

Eli brings Book into town. He calls Carter who tells him not to come in, he’s too hot. Book knows has to stay a little longer. Carter will make calls. Eli makes a mistake, tells other Amish members that Book is English.

56) INT. LAPP KITCHEN – DAY

Book whistles as he puts the gun in the kitchen cabinet and then gives the bullets to Rachel, he takes her hand, and says “Don’t put them in the peaches” – which she’s canning. She snickers. You get a sense she’s not gotten to laugh a lot in life.

57) EXT. LAPP FARM – DAY – MIDPOINT

Things have changed. Book is feeling well enough that Samuel shows him around the farm. The well.

58) INT. SILO – DAY

Samuel shows Book the silo, how it echoes. Book asks what’s up there, he says corn. This will be important later in the movie.

59) INT. BARN – DAY

Eli pops his head through a false bottom in the floor, asking what Book is doing. He’s trying to get the car battery going. He asks if Book can work for him (Eli lost help when Jacob died). He said he can milk cows, John says he’s seen pictures. Eli snickers, “you start tomorrow.” The false bottom in the barn will be utilized later.

60) INT. BEDROOM – MORNING

Eli wakes Book up at 4:30 AM for milking.

61) INT. BARN – DAWN

Eli shows Book how to milk. Eli says, you never had your hand on a teat before? Book says, “not one this big”… this makes Eli laugh. Bonding.

62) EXT. FARM HOUSE – DAWN

Rachel smiles at the bonding happening. She rings the bell for breakfast. The bell will be important later.

63) INT. LAPP DINING ROOM – MORNING

They pray and start to eat. Book’s not used to eating so early, so much food. He makes the coffee joke – “that’s great coffee.”

64) EXT. LAPP FORM – DAY

Daniel introduces himself to Book. He’s sizing Book up. He tells him he’s come to see Rachel. But while sitting with Rachel on the swing he can tell there’s something between Rachel and Book and he doesn’t like it… she’s supposed to be his. Book sees them on the swing and walks away.

65) INT. LAPP BARN – DAY

Rachel brings lemonade to Book who is using Eli’s tools to fix the birdhouse. He drinks the lemonade in one gulp, she’s having “feelings”… as is he as he asks what happened to Daniel. She said he’s gone home, that’s he’s only a friend of the family (like a son to Eli)…. Telling Book, “I’m not interested in him” Book is glad Daniel is gone, his own feelings showing.

66) INT. BARN – NIGHT

Book is working on the car, he’s gotten the radio going. Rachel says Book can come to the barn raising…. Book says “if I’m still here.” Always looming that he has to leave. They start dancing to What a Wonderful World, he enchants her and she him. There are several moments where the tension is so thick and they want to kiss. Then Eli overhears them and comes running, shaming Rachel.

67) EXT. LAPP FARM – NIGHT

Eli tells her that there’s talk of people going to the Bishop, that they could shun her. He asks if she understands what this means. She says she will be the judge of it, as she’s done nothing wrong. He says NO, THEY WILL BE THE JUDGE, AND SO WILL I, IF YOU SHAME ME. She says You shame yourself. Eli asked a question, it sounded like “is this the old you?” If so, it shows Rachel has a past.

68) EXT AMISH FARM – DAY

The Lapp’s have come with lumber and manpower to help raise a barn. Daniel sees that Book is riding alongside Rachel, he’s stunned. He asks about Books injury, he says, “it’s better now” Book says it’s getting there and Daniel literally says, “good, then you can go home then.” Rachel is proud of him and says “good luck.”

69) EXT AMISH FARM – DAY

The men raise the barn, the women and children give them lemonade. The men are impressed with Book. Rachel is proud of him.

70) EXT. AMISH FARM – DAY

Prayer before lunch. Rachel intentionally fills Book’s glass first, she looks to make sure that everyone can see this, she’s chosen him. She stares at Eli and Stoltz so they know she’s openly defying him. Daniel is pissed!

71) EXT. AMISH FARM – AFTERNOON

The barn raising continues. The women at this point are quilting together. Her friend says that all the women have an idea about her and the English man… Rachel says, “all of them charitable, I’m sure”… “hardly any of them” rumors, what will Rachel do?

72) EXT. FARM – EVENING

The barn is finished. Book is congratulated by others. Rachel introduces Book to the young married couple the barn was built for. He watches, impressed, as the men leave, singing. He longs for the true camaraderie.

73) EXT. LAPP FARM – NIGHT

Book is on the swing, watching Rachel inside. He wants her but is so torn.

74) INT. LAPP HOME – NIGHT

Rachel is bathing. She suddenly senses Book is watching. She left the door open for him. She turns around so he can see her breasts. He bows his head, knowing it’s wrong. She turns back, hurt.

75) INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT

John is sitting on the bed, trying to decide what to do. He looks out the window, knowing he must leave.

76) EXT. CHICKEN COOP – DAY

John finds Rachel collecting eggs. He speaks the painful truth, “if we had made love last night I’d have to stay, or you’d have to leave.” Rachel realizes he didn’t reject her, far from it, he’s a man of honor.

77) EXT. TOWN – DAY

Tourists push buttons trying to get pictures. Book calls Carter and finds out that his partner is dead.

78) INT. SCHAEFFER’S HOUSE – DAY SECOND TP

Book calls Schaeffer, tells him he’s coming for him. Talks about what Paul used to call dirty cops.

79) EXT. TOWN – DAY

Eli knows something’s wrong with Book. They are stopped by jerks harassing Daniel and his family. Eli tells him “it’s not our way” Book says, “but it’s my way.” He beats the kid. The old man tells the sheriff, it’s about to unravel. Book made a fatal mistake.

80) INT. LAPP HOME – EVENING

Samuel is playing with a wooden toy that Book made for him, a special present. She smiles until she realizes… and sees him and Eli putting the birdhouse back up. Something he promised to do before he left. He’s leaving!

81) INT. LAPP HOUSE – EVENING

Eli comes in and confirms that Book is leaving. Rachel implores, WHY, there’s nothing for him out there. Eli says “he’s going back to his world, where he belongs, he knows it and you know it, too.” Rachel picks Book, she takes off her bonnet and gently places it on the table.

82) EXT. LAPP HOUSE – NIGHT

Rachel goes to John, they embrace and kiss.

83) EXT. LAPP HOUSE – DAWN

Schaeffer, McFee and Fergie have arrived. They back the car out of sight and arm themselves and slowly walk towards the farm house.

84) INT. LAPP HOUSE – DAWN

They break into the Lapp house, kicking down the door. They lie to Rachel saying they won’t hurt her or Samuel, just Book.

85) EXT. LAPP HOUSE – DAWN

Eli sees McFee with a gun and yells to warn Book. McFee strikes him down to the ground. Book is in the barn, he pulls Samuel in and closes the entrances to the barn. He tells Samuel to run to the next farm to be safe. Samuel is upset that Book doesn’t have his gun.

86) INT. BARN – DAY

Book tried to start the car. Fergie comes running, seeing Book behind the buggy he starts shooting.

87) EXT. LAPP FARM – DAY

Samuel, hearing the gun shuts stops running, trying to decide what to do.

88) INT. BARN – DAY

Book scrambles through the false floor and finds himself amongst the cows. He uses the cows as cover. He climbs up the silo ladder and hides, waiting. Fergie goes into the silo and Book pulls the release… sending tons of corn down on Fergie. McFee tries to save Fergie but it’s too late.

89) EXT. BARN – DAY

Schaeffer is calling for McFee and Fergie. McFee says he can’t figure it out, that Schaeffer needs to come over there.

90) INT. LAPP HOUSE – DAY

Eli is holding Rachel, I think they are praying. He sees Samuel and he covers achel’s mouth so she won’t scream. Schaeffer is ordering them out of the house. Eli motions to Samuel to ring the bell for help.

91) INT. BARN – DAY

John goes into the silo to get Fergie’s rifle. McFee thinks he hears him and slowly steps forward… his face shows fear. But then he charges to kill Book and Book comes from around the corner and shoots McFee, who smears his blood against the white wall. He’s dead.

92) INT. BARN – DAY

As Schaeffer has a gun on Eli and Rachel, we hear Samuel ringing the bell. He yells at Eli to stop Samuel or he will kill Rachel and he grabs her and holds the gun to her head, pushing her forward. A screaming match ensues as Schaeffer starts to lose it. Book puts the rifle down, praying Schaeffer won’t shoot Rachel.

93) EXT. LAPP HOUSE – DAY

Eli reaches Samuel and picks him up. We see Amish friends come running to help.

94) EXT. BARN – DAY

Schaeffer pushes Book out the door and into the waiting crowd of Amish men. Book confronts him, will he shoot everyone there? Schaeffer realizes he can’t kill them all and allows Book to take the gun away. He drops to his knees, a beaten, old man.

95) EXT. LAPP HOUSE – DAY

A police car drives down the road, joining at least 6 other patrol cars. Book is surrounded by officers and telling them what happened. Rachel and Samuel are watching out the window.

96) EXT. LAPP HOUSE – DAY

Book is sitting with Samuel in the tall grass, saying goodbye.

97) EXT. LAPP HOUSE – DAY

Neither Rachel nor Book can say goodbye. The looks say everything, they love each other but can’t fit in each other’s world.

98) EXT. LAPP HOUSE – DAY

Eli is pained to see him leave, but knows it’s best. He says “You be careful out there among those English” showing Book is now considered one of them. As John drives off, Daniel comes walking down the road… he gives a little flick of his hat, happy to see Book leave. Rachel is now his and their world will go back to normal.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Basic Structure

What I’ve learned doing this assignment…. I’ve wanted to write this script for many years… I’ve learned that I had the concept but didn’t have the story! I’m not thrilled with this outline, but over the next several days it will flesh out and become more of what I envisioned this story could become.

Concept: After a cynical agnostic FBI agent, who is assigned to investigate a popular televangelist for embezzlement, uncovers a plot by his own agency and a top politician to take down the man and his ministry, he enlists the minister’s help to expose the truth.

Opening: Dark Apartment, dark bedroom; an alarm clock rouses Daniel awake, his feet hit the bottles of alcohol he drank the previous night.

Inciting Incident: At the FBI office they are watching the mob boss Daniel tried to put away walking out of a court room, all smiles. Daniel’s boss yells for him to get in his office. He tells him of a case – and it’s his last chance to redeem himself before being shipped off to Duluth (a field office where FBI agent’s careers go to die).

Page 10 / what the movie’s about: The truth is risking everything for

1st TP: Heads to New Orleans. Sees Jake with local mob boss.

Midpoint: Daniel is “visited” / warned by mob boss to stay away from Jake.

2^nd TP: Realizes Thumb drive is a ruse/it’s the Govt and the FBI coordinating.

Crisis: His daughter is kidnapped to make him stop

Climax: With Jake’s help, he gets his daughter back

Resolution: Guilty are arrested; Fishing Trip

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Necessary Questions

What I learned from this assignment: while I’ve worked with these before, I’ve never had them put out in this specific way… except for theme, I always worked to actively identify a theme. I liked this!

a. Concept: After a cynical agnostic FBI agent, who is assigned to investigate a popular televangelist for embezzlement, uncovers a plot by his own agency and a top politician to take down the man and his ministry, he enlists the minister’s help to expose the truth.

b. Dramatic Question: Will Daniel learn the truth and will Jake be redeemed or found guilty?

c. Main conflict: Daniel wants the truth but is being shown evidence of Jake’s guilt, despite his gut saying otherwise. Jake, the ministry, the assistant, the FBI and the Gov’t all put things in his way of learning the truth.

d. Dilemma: Expose the truth and redeem a man’s reputation as well as the faith of million’s of people, or go along with the crowd and keep his job and the safety of his family.

e. Theme: The truth is worth risking everything

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Dramatic Plots 2

What I learned…. besides the fact that a story can be told multiple ways, changing the entire concept and theme… that by simply looking at the plot types and incorporate multiple ways to elevate the story via subtext.

Additional Two plot Outlines:

Sacrifice and Transformation

Original Concept: 1) After a cynical agnostic FBI agent, who is assigned to investigate a popular televangelist for embezzlement, uncovers a plot by his own agency and a top politician to take down the man and his ministry, he enlists the minister’s help to expose the truth.

Which Plot outline will I be using???? I think I will use Underdog…. though I need more time to really know that this is the way I want to go.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Dramatic Plots 1

What I learned doing this… as writer’s we have many choices to make to create the best story possible…. the building blocks are the foundation and if we don’t get those right, the story will fail. That said, we can still choose what type of building blocks / foundation we will create the story on, this assignment is part of that choice and we are free to choose and as we are proceeding, we can find what works best and substitute or throw out what doesn’t.

Rescue: A cynical FBI Agent investigates a popular televangelist, believing he’s responsible for bilking thousands of people out of their money. He meets the Televangelist and instantly likes him but believes that it’s probably a trap to dissuade him of his duty to take him down. The Agent slowly realizes that it’s not the minister who is the bad guy, though he personally struggles against this… it’s his own agency and powerful politicians pulling the strings. He switches and sees it as his duty to rescue the minister from the false claims and corruption meant to take down the minister, his ministry AND the President of the United States.

Under Dog: A cynical FBI Agent tasked with investigating a popular televangelist starts to realize that he’s getting too much heat from the top about taking this man down. He uncovers a plot to make it appear the the minister is defrauding people when it’s really an inside job… but who hired the inside man shocks him. He then must fight his own agency, bosses and the political elite to clear the minister’s good name, a man who has close ties to the President of the United States.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Character Structure

What I learned… a new way of laying the ground-work for outlining a project. I had never heard the term character “structure.”

1) Concept: After a cynical agnostic FBI agent, who is assigned to investigate a popular televangelist for embezzlement, uncovers a plot by his own agency and a top politician to take down the man and his ministry, he enlists the minister’s help to expose the truth.

2) Character Structure – Buddy Movie

3) A) Daniel is an FBI agent who is put in charge of investigating a famous televangelist

B) Jake is a popular televangelist who is being investigated for fraud and embezzlement

4) Daniel is a cynical FBI Agent who has been assigned by is boss to investigate a very popular Televangelist. At first his approach is very straight forward and he relishes the thought of taking down someone he believes might be bilking the innocent… but the more he digs, the more he finds problems linking his own agency and powerful politicians might be using this as a distraction and a mission to shake the hearts and minds of people of faith. Jake, the Televangelist, is doing all he can to cooperate, until he learned that the investigation might indeed provide the proof that Daniel is seeking. At the same time, Jake is trying to minister to Daniel, who left the church long ago.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

What I learned on today’s intro call:

I’ve been around the block with ScreenwritingU and I’m always grateful to be here, no matter how many calls I ALWAYS learn something!

I loved looking for the best in a particular movie – what writing techniques a writer used that I haven’t thought of or used…. no matter the story or the genre, there’s always something you can learn!

I also loved, no LOVED, the Development process you outlined!!!! While sometimes I can just flow and it all works, other times it gets jammed up. So… I have actually been DREADING the start of the ProSeries because I’ve been so exhausted from work and have so many personal responsibilities, I honestly couldn’t see how I could add anything else! It’s not good when you come home from work and literally fall asleep in the recliner within 5 minutes. But seeing the Development process that someone else used and you described allows me to take it in pieces (not thinking of a 2 hour block) and makes actually getting the process done more freeing, allows creativity to flourish… I can ruminate on things at work, take notes when I get a minute and not feel forced to do it all at once or guilty when others are demanding my time! The more I thought about this I literally started crying tears of joy. It doesn’t matter how little time I have each day if I use it creatively! GOD BLESS YOU FOR THAT!

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Hi Cheryl, Hal and all my new writing mates!

1) Name: Claudia Wolfkind

2) I’ve written 8 scripts and 3 TV shows. I’ve been optioned twice and done well in a couple of competitions. I’ve also produced a series (educational / reality based) for a cable network.

3) I’m looking forward to getting back to writing every day and focusing on the skills to elevate my writing to where it needs to be to compete in today’s market.

4) I’m a cancer survivor – not fun going through treatment during Covid! I launched a cable network from scratch and was head of programming and development for almost 5 years. I love going whale watching, hiking and being in nature. Besides working fulltime I also take care of a family member who is disabled.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

I agree to the terms of this release form

[Claudia Wolfkind]

it will be revealed, you think I’m going to tell everything in the first assignment? I’ve already written the first draft and I’m working on the rewrite in this class. I’ve already had two producers want to read it when it’s completed. You probably meant this to be helpful, but it felt anything but helpful.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Thanks, Missy. Yes, I’m definitely going to look into an ACA plan. I know they are also wanting income information and I’m also working on launching a couple of new sites, so I’m praying I’ll have finances for the insurance (and to stay home and write). The site I’m working on now if for ocean life lovers (whales, dolphins, etc), with some profits going to the Pacific Marine Mammal rescue center. The first site I created, though I need to rework it, is for us writers and artists. I was going to focus on shirts and totes… but while I’ll be keeping the tote bags, I’m going to eliminate the shirts and only make them for special occasions. I’ll have other cool stuff for us instead, things you can’t get anywhere else. That site is currently called writersandartistsapparel.com
I’m doing all of this while literally fielding calls from doctors, records people, lab techs screaming for study files… breathing.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Thank you!

[Claudia Wolfkind]

What a blessing!

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Was going to try to record your movie, but we only get Lifetime, not Lifetime Movie Network. 8-( Congratulations!

[Claudia Wolfkind]

I really like how you related this to David and Goliath!

[Claudia Wolfkind]

so grateful to hear you’re safe. All my friends in Florida made it through the storm. They all bugged out. Thankfully none of their places sustained major damage. The lives lost, it’s devastating.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Hi Rebecca,

Hal told us not to exchange with more than one person. I didn’t hear that until I exchanged with 2 people. I’m not sure if we are allowed to exchange again until the next round. I didn’t catch today’s call as I work on Saturdays.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

LOL, sorry Erik, I didn’t see that until just now, and I accepted. You can send your outline to me at: sunnyswindow@yahoo.com

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Hi Ian,

I got your request, let’s exchange! My email is sunnyswindow@yahoo.com

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Hi Lori,

I got your request. I would love to exchange with you, sunnyswindow@yahoo.com

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Hi Lori,

I got your request, would also love to exchange with you. My email is sunnyswindow@yahoo.com

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Hi Erik, I would love to exchange with you. I have a romantic comedy. I love family pics. You can email me at sunnyswindow@yahoo.com

• This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  Claudia Wolfkind.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Thanks! I look forward to seeing yours develop as well!

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Hi Bill, you put this assignment under the wrong day. You might want to delete and repost this under the correct Lesson. 😎

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Hi Pat, as someone who has been caring for a family member for the last 20 year, I completely understand the “losing your way”… unless you’ve been there, you don’t understand the drain on your soul and creativity. I’ve got your back.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Whoa…. I can not even imagine! Good for you for all you do! I’m sure it also spurs all the creative juices!

[Claudia Wolfkind]

What a blessing! I’m so thrilled for you!

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Keep moving forward, Jill! I completely understand, as a two-time cancer survivor, how everything changes in an instant and you can be knocked down for months or even years fighting for survival. I’m here for you!

[Claudia Wolfkind]

I agree! I work with a non-profit that trains service dogs, puppy raisers are AWESOME!