[Xochi Blymyer]

WHAT I Learned doing this assignment is the characters have initial challenges and then the keep piling up to lead me into wanting to know if they will survive and succeed but knowing the obstacles are many. Also, I wouldn’t normally be interested in a show about basketball but it grabbed my interest with the good characters and hook.
Subject line: TV SHOW – SWAGGER – 5 Star Model

1. BIG PICTURE HOOK – Jace is a talented kid with an attitude from a bad neighborhood trying to make it as a basketball star. Can he keep going despite all the roadblocks.
2. AMAZING AND INTRIGUING CHARACTER – Jace is talented but challenged in the world he lives in, his mom is a badass, his coach, Ike, is ex basketball player who Jace doesn’t respect, at first, is a good guy but gets himself in trouble and wants to deliver more than he may be able to.
3. EMPATHY/DISTRESS – He’s a good kid that has many roadblocks, feel for the coach and want the Mom to get what she wants for her son.
4. LAYERS/OPEN LOOPS – Will Jace make it, will he allow Ike to coach, will he get over his fears, will he survive his neighborhood.
5. INVITING OBSESSION – Will he make it? Police take him down, he has trouble with kids at school, Jace needs to be a team player, Coach may not have the money to keep going, Jace is great but he fails at the game and coach has missteps too.

[Xochi Blymyer]

Xochi Blymyer agrees to this.

[Xochi Blymyer]

What I learned in this lesson is with just some brainstorming these challenges, I could really breath more life and interest and fun into the scenes.

FOR TWO SCENES –

CURRENT SCENE LOGLINE
ESSENCE
BRAINSTORM LIST OF POSSIBLE CHALLENGES
QUICK SUMMARY OF HOW TO WRITE THE SCENE DIFFERENTLY WITH NEW CHALLENGES

SCENE 1:

1. Ross and Zakaria get to know each other, two arrogant, confident men from totally different worlds.
2. Ross needs to know what makes Zakaria tick without pissing him off
3. Possible challenges –
a. Ross being so full of himself just says whatever he’s thinking, insulting
b. Ross tries to help but Zakaria is being offended left and right
c. Ross is getting questioned by everything he says and can’t stop
d. Zakaria questions Ross’s abilities stronger
e. Ross spills his drink, servant has to mop it up off of him
f. Ross steps on Zakaria’s robes
g. Zakaria’s servant almost laughs when Ross asks Zakaria to trust him

Ross and Zakaria are having what seems like a get to know you Manly conversation. Ross’s advice becomes more and more like insults. The servants seems to want to blend in with the walls at each “barb”. Ross starts to lose his confidence and spills him drink then stands up to help clean and steps on Zakaria’s robes. I think between adding more dialogue fumbles and putting the servants in the scene to help the visual uncomfortableness it’ll make it a more suspenseful and silly scene.

SCENE 2:

1. Filming is happening when the jealous Zakaria storms in like a fish out of water.
2. Ross is torn between getting the filming done and catering to Zakaria’s jealousy
3. Possible Challenges –
a. Musukuta makes more obvious googly eyes at Ross
b. Zakaria is angrier cause the crew to react with bows and stillness to not be seen
c. Unknowing crew walk through interrupting
d. Obvious that later in scene No one is paying attention to Zakaria and he is acting like a spoiled brat
e. Prop man gets a chair for Zakaria but places it on his robe, so Zakaria is stuck

Filming is happening but when Zakaria arrives, for a moment everyone is haphazard. Then they ignore him so much, he is flailing like a brat to get attention. The love of his life is ignoring him too. The world that is foreign to him but not the love of his life is surrounding him with organized chaos that doesn’t center around him and he is not happy about that. Makes for two moments happening at the same time – the general chaos of filming and solving problems and the robe wearing brat trying to be noticed.

[Xochi Blymyer]

LESSON 11 –

What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is how changing just a few things when forming the characters will make them more interesting and in turn make the scenes written with them in it more alive. I think I can do better but here is a first pass.

ERIC –
Description: Serious, quiet man in need of full control.
TRAITS: Selfish, Harsh, Entitled, Mysterious
Subtext: Eric is a quiet, keep to himself man who is now focused on only one thing, dealing with his death
REVISED ERIC –
Description: Eric is a serious, quiet man with a secret that could blow up his world
TRAITS: Selfish, Harsh, Entitled, Unpredictable
Subtext: Eric has a secret from his past that he doesn’t want out so he needs to stay in full control or his world will be ruined.

ED –
Description: A goofy, lazy guy with no awareness of who he is
TRAITS: Likeable, Unserious, Careless, Hopeful
Subtext: Ed is a lonely guy trying to get by as best as he can, running his family’s business

ED REVISED –
Description: Ed is a goofy, lazy guy who’s business is going under
TRAITS: Likeable, Careless, Hopeful, Greedy
Subtext: Ed is desperate and will do anything to keep from going under.

JONATHAN –

Description: Local Undertaker loving his job and life
TRAITS: Comedian, Trustworthy, unpredictable, generous
Subtext: Jonathan is keeping his local funeral home afloat and enjoys a drink at the bar with his pals.

JONATHAN REVISED –
Description – Jonathan is bored with his life but proceeds anyway with his undertaking.
TRAITS: Comedian, Trustworthy, Underhanded, Generous
Subtext: Jonathan is not above doing underhanded things to keep his life exciting. Has a secret.

[Xochi Blymyer]

What I learned is I needed to take out some of the unknown elements to concentrate on the traits. Like use a setting that was something I know and try to add the characters into that setting so that I could do the lesson. Not sure I accomplished that but it’s a start. I know we’re supposed to just write, good or bad!

EXT. HOUSE – BACK PATIO – LATE AFTERNOON
The sun’s low, warm light casting long shadows. A grill sizzles. Laughter bubbles from a small group around a picnic table cluttered with open bags of chips, condiments, and half-drunk bottles of beer and soda.
JOHN, relaxed for once, wears a rare smile. He flips burgers with one hand, beer in the other.
JOHN
Hey, guys — who’s up for a friendly game of UNO?
A mix of groans and cheers ripple through the group.
GUEST #1
Friendly? Tell that to the last person you hit with three Draw Fours in a row.
GUEST #2
Still recovering, thanks.
Laughter. People get up, moving toward the shaded game table.
JOHN
Nick, come on. Join us. It won’t be too brutal.
NICK, lounging at the edge of the patio with a drink in hand, flashes that smooth smile.
NICK
Not really up for games.
(beat)
But… I could definitely give you a run for your money.
He rises and joins. He moves like a man who chooses to be part of something — just barely.
MARA, seated near the fence, watches the two closely. She doesn’t smile. Just studies.
JOHN
Alright, rules are simple — call UNO when you’re down to one card. No hiding. And house rule: if you play a +4, you answer a question. Truth only.
NICK
(smirking)
A little interrogation with your card game. Cute.
JOHN
You’ll live.
They start playing. Light banter. Cards slap the table.
As the game builds, the atmosphere starts to tilt. Laughter dims, tension grows — subtle but real. It’s when Nick drops a +4 that things shift.
JOHN
(grinning)
Alright, house rule. Answer time.
NICK
(sips his drink, calm)
Fire away.
JOHN
Why’d you really come today?
A pause. The group quiets, sensing the edge underneath the question, shift in their seats.
NICK
(glancing at his cards, then up at John)
Maybe I like the smell of charcoal and suspicion.
JOHN
Try again.
Nick’s eyes narrow. He leans in slightly.
NICK
You invited me, John. I just said yes. Don’t blame me if you’re second-guessing it now.
MARA
(gently)
He’s not second-guessing. He’s reading the room.
NICK
(turns to her)
You too? Thought this was your idea of bringing the peace.
MARA
It was. Until it started smelling like a setup.
The game continues — but the fun is gone. John lays down a Reverse, then a Skip. Nick laughs, low.
NICK
Fitting.
JOHN
(card in hand)
One more move like the Reyes stunt, Nick — and I stop asking questions.
The table goes still. The group feels it, more uncomfortable, shifting in their seats, even if they don’t understand.
NICK
(smile cold now)
You never ask anything, John. You judge. But you don’t see.
JOHN
I see you. That’s enough.
Nick lays his final card — an UNO Wild. He doesn’t call UNO.
MARA
(calmly)
You forgot to say it.
NICK
No, I didn’t.
He flicks the card onto the table. Stands. Calm, but hard now.
NICK (CONT’D)
Guess we’re past talking.
John stands too. Not quite a threat — not yet.
They stare each other down. Behind them, the grill sizzles. In the distance, someone laughs — unaware that a storm is brewing, right here.

[Xochi Blymyer]

What I learned doing this assignment is horror is a whole different genre than Thriller and trying to keep this at top of mind as my story develops.

• Title / Concept: I know What You did Last Summer
• Terrorize The Characters: Mysterious Person w Hook terrorizing with hook and mask
• Isolation: The friends hold a secret, then isolate themselves from each other and find themselves alone
• Death: The characters get stabbed and tortured, some die
• Monster/Villain: A Mysterious person with a hook
• High Tension: they are keeping the secret and going insane while being stalked by the killer.
• Departure from Reality: A ghost story/urban legend becomes real
• Moral Statement: Trying to hide mistakes can lead to unseen consequences.

4. Anything else you’d like to say about what made this movie a great horror film?
• I think it fulfilled the terms of horror, created suspense, it slowly turned the victims paranoid, in danger.

4. With your concept, fill in each of these Conventions for your story.
• Concept: BETTER THINGS
• Terrorize The Characters: The roommates think they are going insane but being consumed by the old lady
• Isolation: The corner house in a sleepy town, roommates have no family.
• Death: The roommates don’t die, they are absorbed
• Monster/Villain: Old Frail Lady that needs a new “vessel” every year to maintain her frail illusion of mortality
• High Tension: The roommates start losing their grip on reality as Old Lady takes over
• Departure from Reality: This is no ordinary old lady or house. The longer you stay, the less real the outside world becomes, you are consumed
• Moral Statement: Elderly are sometimes discarded and selfish people (low rent and claiming will help) are set straight.

[Xochi Blymyer]

Hello, my name is Xochi Blymyer. I have written a couple of scripts, but never a horror one and thought this would be a great way to learn the ways of terrifying someone in the movies.
Something unusual, I’ve worked for years as an assistant, director in drama and comedy and action, but no specific horror that I can remember.

[Xochi Blymyer]

I, Xochi Blymyer, Agrees.

[Xochi Blymyer]

QE – Rewrite.

What I learned is I need to keep rewriting. And need to continue working on getting those traits to be part of these characters.

INT OPULENT BACKROOM – EVENING
A Dimly lit room with pools of light over art installations. The crowd is a mix of art lovers viewing the art. The double doors, bright light pours in, open with Trent, dressed expensively, an air of privilege surrounds him, he has his nose in the air, leading the way turning to Robert, amiable looking, head and eyes down, speaking low, entering behind him.
ROBERT
She was definitely with Larry, from what I hear. She was very open while she was learning how to paint.
TRENT
That’s exactly what we could use to hang over her head.
Robert nods in agreement. He lowers his voice more as they enter the crowd who has looked toward them. .
ROBERT
Oh, I didn’t realize…
TRENT
Hey, Everyone, I’ve arrived! Welcome to this exclusive gathering, I’ve charmed Robert into showing his latest installation – only for the beautiful elite like us. Please continue to enjoy yourselves and we will be ready with the main event shortly.
Crowd applauses. Trent takes off to shmooze with the crowd before Robert can question him. Robert looks around for a safe place to observe the room and study the crowd.
TRENT
(Yelling to Robert)
Robert, come on over and meet Larry and Ginger.
Robert heads over and cautiously shakes Larry’s hand. He plays it safe and asks a generic question.
ROBERT
Larry, do I know you from somewhere? Lover of art? You must be someone, being in this room, am I right?
TRENT
Robert, Robert, Larry is Sofia’s husband, we met her at the country club when you taught that art class.
ROBERT
Of course! Robert you are a lucky man.
Larry seems uncomfortable but tries to cover.
LARRY
Thank you man. She is something, for sure. She wasn’t up to coming out tonight, told me all about you…quite the event we have here, isn’t it Robert.
ROBERT
Yes, I just found out about it, Trent surprised me, I don’t really deserve this kind of reception.
TRENT
You deserve everything you’re getting, Robert. Come over here and say hello to Susan and Paul, they’re always looking for new artists.
ROBERT
I told you about them in confidence, how did you get them here together?
Susan and Paul smile at Robert, Susan gives him a little wave.
TRENT
I used my influence like you use your confidant skills.
Robert smiles. Trent moves to the center of the room as two other men join him and spread out a pad on the floor.
Robert grabs Trent’s arm.
ROBERT
(Whispers)
What’s all this Trent?
TRENT
You’ll see.
The crowd forms a circle enclosing Trent and Robert making Robert a bit unnerved. Robert looks around, his face shows that he now recognizes these people, his eyes widen. He tries to join the circle but is pushed back into the center.
TRENT
Welcome everyone. Now for the main event. I have come to love and respect each of you, the community welcomed me and of course, your love for art. What I don’t respect is the need for someone to bring you down just because you have more than they do.
ROBERT
Trent, buddy, let’s not ruin a good time with our friends.
Trent ignores Robert and continues.
TRENT
I have discovered the source of some of this gossip as you know. Let’s take care of that!
ROBERT
Trent here is just playing with you all, I don’t know what he’s been telling you.
The crowd tightens. Trent joins the circle. Pushes Robert to center again.
Larry, kicks Robert’s lets out from under him.
LARRY
Sofia is the best thing that ever happened to me and I’ve been going through some things so Ginger, my sister, and I have been spending more time together.
George steps up and kicks Robert in the ribs.
GEORGE
You started a rumor that I cheated on my wife and she left me!
The crowd gets tighter and Robert is kicked and punched, getting real ass-kicking. A weird form of Fight Club.
Robert screams in pain, trying to cover his head but the punches keep coming. Trent eggs on the crowd, keeping himself free as he straightens his suit.
Cut to.

[Xochi Blymyer]

INT BACKROOM – DAY
A Dimly lit room with pools of light over art installations. The crowd is a mix of art lovers viewing the art. The double doors open with Trent, dressed expensively, leading the way turning to Robert who is entering behind him.
ROBERT
She was definitely with Larry, from what I hear.
TRENT
That’s exactly what we could use to hang over her head.
Robert nods in agreement. He lowers his voice as they enter the crowd.
ROBERT
Oh, I didn’t realize…
TRENT
Hey, Everyone, Welcome to the Party! Please continue to enjoy yourselves and we will be ready with the main event shortly.
Crowd applauses. Trent takes off to shmooze with the crowd. Confused, Robert looks around for a safe place to observe the room.
TRENT
(Yelling to Robert)
Robert, come on over and meet Larry and Ginger.
Robert heads over and cautiously shakes Larry’s hand.
ROBERT
Larry, do I know you from somewhere? You must be someone being in this room, am I right?
TRENT
Robert, Robert, Larry is Sofia’s husband, we met her at the country club.
ROBERT
Of course! Robert you are a lucky man.
Larry seems uncomfortable but tries to cover.
LARRY
Thank you man. She is something, R for sure. Quite the event we have here, isn’t it Robert.
ROBERT
Yes, I just found out about it, Trent surprised me, I don’t really deserve this kind of reception.
TRENT
You deserve everything you’re getting, Robert.
Robert smiles. Trent moves to the center of the room as two other men join him and spread out a pad on the floor.
Robert grabs Trent’s arm.
ROBERT
(Whispers)
What’s all this Trent?
TRENT
You’ll see.
The crowd forms a circle enclosing Trent and Robert making Robert a bit unnerved. He tries to join the circle but is pushed back into the center.
TRENT
Welcome everyone. Now for the main event. I have come to love and respect each of you, your love for art and what I don’t respect is the need for someone to bring you down just because you have more than they do. I have discovered the source of some of this gossip as you know. Let’s take care of that!
ROBERT
Trent here is just playing with you all, I don’t know what he’s been telling you.
The crowd tightens. Trent joins the circle.
Larry, kicks Robert’s out from under him.
LARRY
Sofia is the best thing that ever happened to me and I’ve been going through some things so Ginger, my sister, and I have been spending more time together.
George steps up and kicks Robert in the ribs.
GEORGE
You started a rumor that I cheated on my wife and she left me!
The crowd gets tighter and Robert is kicked and punched, getting real ass-kicking.
Robert screams in pain, trying to cover his head but the punches keep coming. Trent eggs on the crowd.
Cut to.

[Xochi Blymyer]

What I’ve learned is by adding more interest techniques it keeps you guessing on how the scene will progress in a good way.

Pre-Production filming is a train wreck, this movie is never going to get filmed

The essence of this scene is to show the local crew kill level is so low, it will jeopardizes the
film.

I can add more uncertainty, more misleads, character changes. I feel like I need a lot more but here is my first pass.

EXT. GAMBIA – DAY
Some pre-production filming. Ross is sitting in a director’s chair with Billy holding his bag and script. The crew is in the middle of a field. Whatever can go wrong, is about to happen.
Lloyd and his grips are putting the dolly on the track struggling in the mud, working around some animals. Rodney is showing the other assistants how to put the camera out on the tripod. There is a crowd gathering.
ROSS
Come on, come on, can we shoot please? How much longer. We gotta see how this is going work before we really start filming. This delay is ridiculous.
Xiomara looks to Ross as she’s directing the PAs to their posts. Seriously? The Pas nod as though they understand exactly what she’s saying.
XIOMARA
Almost there, Ross, (Turns quickly) hey, you should be over there, yes, and you can watch and help with the background from there. The background, those are the people who will be walking through in front of the camera. Kid, you should stand over there, don’t want you to get hurt.
It’s Malik, who is mesmerized by Ross, he steps back but then sneaks back around to be near him.
The Pas practically bump into each other trying to figure out what Xiomara just told them to do.
Frank is in the background on the camera dolly instructing the grip which way to dolly the camera. Too fast, too hard of a stop, they rehearse again. The next try is good. Frank shows relief until…
FRANK
Smoother – whoa too fast…HOLY
SH…LLOYD! HELP!
Lloyd is trying to teach one of his grips how to set a flag but hands him the flag. The grip seems to be doing it. Lloyd turns at the cry and runs.
LLOYD
Here, keep trying. Coming Frank!
Bruce is with his crew putting some set dressing on the street, he is moving things as his crew puts them in the wrong places.
Forrest is showing his boom guy how to hold up the boom but it keeps dipping into the shot.
FORREST
So, you can’t let it go in front of the camera – see – that is the camera.
He considers the situation for a moment then pulls a ladder over and has his guy climb up.
FORREST
Here. Try this.
The guy swings the boom narrowly missing some of the background players. Then holds out the boom. Success. It dips again.

Ross shakes his head, grips the sides of his chair, sees Malik watching him and gives him a face with his hands up of ‘Why Me?’ Malik smiles a big smile and shrugs his shoulders.

[Xochi Blymyer]

What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is making my characters have multiple traits that make them more interesting.
Person 1 – Creative, Kind, Anxious, Quick to trigger
Definitely proved my list of traits!
Person 2 – Reliable, Gregarious, Lazy, Selfish
Surprisingly, this person has been more reliable than usual.
Person 3 – Lovable, Interesting, Deceptive, Unreliable
Still lovable and interesting and not planned deceptive – but claims forgetfulness on why unreliable.

[Xochi Blymyer]

Xochi Puts Essence to Work
What I learned is…looking at each scene and asking the questions will develop them with no wasted content.
Script I choose: Gambia Untitled
Scene 1 Location: Gambia Movie Set
Logline: Zakaria tries to show his power but isn’t heard
Essence I’ve discovered: Zakaria needs to show his jealousy while keeping up his powerfulness.
New Logline: Zakaria show his jealousy through his power
Scene 2 Location: President’s Study
Logline: Two Powerful Men try to Get what they want from each other
Essence I’ve discovered: Ross needs to keep up his Power More to keep this more interesting
New Logline: Battle lines are drawn, Ross and Zakaria battle to get what they want
Scene 3 Location: Gambian Set
Logline: Posse needs to be wrangled by Ross
Essence I’ve discovered: Ross needs to show his directing control of the set. It’s his land.
New Logline: Ross uses his control of the set to get the President’s Posse under his control
Scene 4 Location: Gambian Set
Logline: The Posse have become hams in front of the camera when their real boss arrives
Essence I’ve discovered: Zakaria arriving has to seem more dire for the posse and the crew
New Logline: Zakaria arrives freezing the crew and posse until Ross demands they to pay attention to him because he is the director
Scene 5 Location: President’s Dining Room
Logline: Ross is nervous having dinner with Zakaria knowing the truth
Essence I’ve discovered: Ross still needs to keep up his Power to match Zakaria despite his fear of what could happen
New Logline: Ross covers his fear of Zakaria knowing making his movie is the most important.

[Xochi Blymyer]

Xochi Blymyer – Finds the Essence
What I learned is that there is as way to show essence in a scene through action of the characters and not just dialogue
Script I choose: ERIN BROCKOVICH
Scene 1 Location: Ed’s Office
Logline: Erin tries to convince her boss not to fire her.
Essence: Erin has lost her job but keeps her dignity
Scene 2 Location: Erin’s House – Main Room
Logline: Erin is frustrated with George always helping
Essence: Erin is hitting bottom, doesn’t need or want help
Scene 3 Location: Erin’s Kitchen
Logline: Erin takes out frustration on bugs and doesn’t understand why she got fired
Essence: Erin works hard but she can’t win
Scene 4 Location: Erin’s Bedroom
Logline: George comforts Erin at a low point
Essence: Erin gives in to George for some comfort
Scene 5 Location: Erin’s Bedroom
Logline: George isn’t just in it for the sex
Essence: Erin doesn’t want to believe George is a decent guy

Scene 3 is the most profound. It starts with George fixing the plumbing and water bugs but I think the real essence is Erin has reached her bottom point and shows her frustration about her life with 3 kids, no job or money and George show signs that he his a good guy. I feel like this essence is Setting up for Erin’s life as it has become.

[Xochi Blymyer]

I, Xochi Blymyer, agree to the terms of this agreement.

GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Xochi Blymyer]

Hi! My name is Xochi (Pronounced So-Chi). I have been working on sets since 1987. Presently I work as a 1st AD but am working on improving my writing. I did take a screenwriting U class many years ago and came out of it with my first script that I’m was pleasantly surprised I had a real feature script upon completing the class.

My hope is that as Hal said in the first class last night is to keep improving. I have had trouble figuring out how to improve scenes that I know need it but I haven’t been able to accomplish myself. Now I hope to do just that!

Something unique about myself. My Name came from a time that my dad and another man walked from Los Angeles to Mexico City before I was born. It was 1958. I’ve been working on completing a documentary about their journey.

Happy to be here and seeing how we all create!